The True Story of Joey Tribbiani
by Jennifer10
Summary: Alright...the last of the six! It's Joey's turn. The stories will all try to match up. It's starts in the 70's and goes on. Read, enjoy, review. Friends will make appearances.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:**

1\. First, to people who did not like the end of Ross' or felt it didn't have enough emotion or went too fast-I apologize that you didn't enjoy it. It was getting too long and I did want to end it. There wasn't much else I could do without repeating everything. I purposely wanted to finish up Ross as quickly as I could while using Rachel's story. In Rachel's story, Ross proposed in their new house and I wanted to line up their stories.

2\. For those who did not like that I kept adding Chandler or having him give Ross advice towards the end, I did that on purpose because these two men had been through so much already in terms of their friendship that I liked the idea of the tables being turned and Chandler now being the one to give advice. Personally, I like Chandler and I like using that character. I find him to be the most fun to write. Ross and Joey are the most difficult. So yes, for those who complain that I clearly have a bias towards certain characters-I certainly do and it's probably not going to change too much.

3\. Joey's story? Not a lot has been given about Joey's back story so I am making a lot of stuff up and I am going to use Sopranos character's 'cause I thought it would be cool and make it interesting. I had to do some research on finding out dates of when people were born. You will be seeing Joey act very non-Joey at the beginning. Joey's story needed something interesting to make it worth reading so I'm going to do my best here.

4\. Please remember that these are long stories and I had not intended to do to all six of them so there is stuff that I'm forcing to match up and things will match up. Especially when all six are together, it takes a long time to make these stories work. Right now, they aren't all together so it's a little easier but as we go deeper into the series, it gets more difficult especially with five stories already written, so there won't be a lot of change. Please no hate, no "oh there's Chandler" again, no "oh, I couldn't see him doing this" or "why didn't you add this scene?" Right now, five are complete. So I will most likely be using those scenes if I think it effects Joey or if I liked the scene and I don't feel it slows stuff down.

5\. When Joey is finished, I was contemplating doing a Lizzie story called, "My Boys"-it might give some insight because A LOT of you hated her during Chandler's story and now everyone loves her! I thought it would be fun do go into her relationship with Chandler and then Joey and Ross and back to Joey.

6\. Might do a one shot with the kids. Maybe Ben and Lauren really will get married?

Now read and review!

 **April 1972-August 1976**

Blood. That's what he remembered. His mother had cut up his pizza for him. His five year old sister, Gina, was poking at her lasagna. She was whining. She was always whining. The Tribbiani family was big and loud. They were young, so they were loud. In addition to Gina and Joey, there was Cookie who was three and Mary Angela was two and Mary Therese who was a year old. His mom was pregnant again with another girl whom she and Joey's dad had decided on Veronica. Joey and his siblings were very close in age. Joey was the only boy and that came with benefits. He got his own room and his own bathroom. He was concentrating on his pizza, eating each bite with the happiness of a child opening a Christmas gift.

"You eat like a pig, " Gina whispered to him as she picked up a lasagna noodle with her fork.

"Oink, oink," Joey shot back. Gina was his partner in crime, his best friend.

He kept eating while his parents, Gloria and Joseph Sr., were tending to Cookie, Mary Angela and Mary Therese. Mary Therese was getting a little fussy as Gloria took her from her husband and began comforting her. Joey was too engrossed in his pizza to pay attention to the noise around him. He hated when his mother cut up the pizza. He had to rearrange it to make it perfect. He liked an equal amount of cheese, pepperoni and sauce on each section. The noise of his family was background to him until it was shattered by a loud bam-bam-bam. Gloria and Joseph Sr., lept forward, protecting their children. Joey watched his father's arm accidentally knock Joey's plate of pizza to the ground. People were screaming as Joey knelt and crawled under the table to get to his fallen pizza. From his spot on the floor, he noticed a man slumped over in his seat and someone screaming about shooting Crazy Joe dead. Crazy Joe? There was a woman throwing her arms around him, getting covered in blood. Joey kept watching, mesmerized by the activities around him. Screams and people running, The blood looked like tomato sauce. The guy with his head slumped down looked hurt. He wasn't sure what was going on, it looked like a scene from a movie when suddenly he felt someone grab his arm and pull him out from under the table. His pizza abandoned and he began crying as his father held him.

"Pizza, pizza…." he kept muttering over and over as the Tribbiani family raced out the door and into dark night. He heard the sounds of sirens speeding towards the restaurant, the blue and red lights stabbed through the blackness of the sky. He heard his parents yelling as they reached the subway station. Gloria chattering on about going to places like that and Joseph telling her to hush. On the subway, they got glares from passengers who wondered what kind of horrible parents Gloria and Joseph Tribbiani were that they could not quiet down Mary Therese, Mary Angela and Cookie who were all sobbing uncontrollably. Joey was still upset as well. His pizza was still under the floor of the restaurant.

Joey's life was in constant chaos. A big home in Queens filled with sisters and people coming in and out at all hours. He loved the chaos though, he loved being surrounded by so many people. There was excitement and family and food. His mom was was always cooking. Even when tending to all the small children surrounding her, there was always something baking, boiling, cooking, steaming. Something going on. Nights like the shootout in Umbertos didn't faze him in the least.

"Family is everything. Family protects you. You have each other's back so others don't shoot you in it," Joseph Senior would tell them. It was all about family and his favorite family member, other than his sister, was his thirteen year old uncle, Tony Soprano. He wasn't sure how Tony was his uncle but he was and Joey would follow him around the neighborhood, often being the one on the look-out for whatever Tony and his friends were doing. He desperately wanted to be part of the group but Tony always told him he was too young, although it didn't stop him from asking the questions.

"Did you really see Crazy Joe get his head blown off?" Tony asked, sitting on the stoop of the Tribbiani home. Tony was "babysitting" Joey and Gina which really involved him playing with the two youngsters outside and getting paid for it.

"My pizza got ruined," Joey said.

"Pizza's not better than people," Gina said.

"It was yummy," Joey said.

Joey idolized Tony. Tony was bigger and taller and even at that age of four, Joey knew who he wanted to be. He wanted to be Tony. Whatever Tony did, that's what he would be. Tony looked like a teddy bear.

"Tony," Joseph said as he and Gloria walked out of the house, Gloria holding her stomach and Joseph holding onto Mary Therese . "We made some calls, my parents will be here. Not sure. Joey and Gina we gotta get your mom to the hospital."

"Your little sister is coming," Gloria said, running her fingers through Joey's hair.

"I don't want another sister," Joey whined.

"What's wrong with your sisters?" Gina asked.

"You're gross," Joey said.

"You're grosser," Gina said.

"Alright, Tony...do you got it?" Joseph Senior said as he guided Gloria down the steps. "My mom and dad are on their way. You won't be alone for long."

"I got it, I got it. Go. Have the baby," Tony said, motioning for the senior Joseph and Gloria to go off the the hospital. Soon they left and Joey let out an annoyed sigh as Gina walked into the house.

"You alright, kid."

"I don't want another sister. All I have are sisters. It's stupid."

"Hey, you got a brother. I'm your brother."

"I thought you were Uncle Tony."

"A little of both. Look, they're family and it's all you got. Always protect family. Even if they fuck you over, you gotta be loyal."

"What does it mean to fuck someone over?"

"Oh, forgot you're four. You're actually not supposed to know that word. Come on, I'll make you a sandwich," Tony said as he stood up, Joey followed him. His eyes beamed as he followed Tony inside towards the kitchen. He sat on a chair as Tony made him a sandwich, several kinds of meat, cheese. It was stacked bigger than his head and he would eat every single bite.

It soon seemed obvious that one part of his life would not be for him: school. He entered kindergarten in September of 1973 and was instantly bored. Sitting still on a carpet, practicing his letters and numbers. It bored him. He wanted to be outside. He wanted to play. He wanted to do anything else besides blending letters together or figuring out how to count. Every minute seemed to just drag on and on. He wasn't a bad kid, he just didn't care. He wanted excitement. First grade and second grade were pretty much the same. He'd sit in class, counting down the minutes until he could finally leave.

It was now summer of '76, the summer before third grade. It was hot and sticky in New York and he was riding his dirt bike on the street with his cousin Christopher who was a younger than him, as well as Tony and his buddies, Artie, Davey, Sal and Blundetto. Joey and Christopher were incredibly close and both shared an agreement that it was unbelievably cool that a group of sixteen and seventeen year old boys let an eight year old and a seven year old hang out with them. They were just referred to as "the kids".

"I'm so bored," Artie whined as he tried to do a wheelie on his bike, but fell off instead which caused laughter from the rest of the group.

"We can ride our dirt bikes in Cunningham Park. My dad took me there," Joey said. "It's so cool. I rode my bike over one of the jumps and it was like a hundred feet in the air."

"That's bullshit," Blundetto said.

"Yeah, that's too high of a number kid," Tony said.

"It was still high," Joey said.

"Not that high," Tony said. "It's too far to ride all the way out there in this heat."

"We gotta do something, this is bullshit," Blundetto said.

"Is that your new favorite word?" Tony said.

"Yeah, asshole," Blundetto said.

The group laughed again as Joey and Christopher leaned in excitedly to hear what plans the boys might come up with. Nothing would thrill him more than being part of this club, this gang of boys. Soon, the idea was come up with to ride to the drugstore. Tony was talking about this girl he was crushing on, Carmela. They road their bikes down towards the Hollis Drugstore with Tony going on and on about what he could get Carmela.

"You know what we could do?" Christopher whispered to Joey as the older boys were arguing over what would be a better gift. Christopher and Joey were sticking with the candy aisle.

"What?" Joey asked.

"Chocolate."

"I don't have money," Joey said.

"You don't need money. Watch," Christopher said as he looked around the store and quickly grabbed about six Snickers bars from a box and shoved them into his fanny pack. Joey's mouth dropped as he looked over at the older gentleman behind the counter who looked to be in his own world.

"Whoa," Joey said.

"I'm a full year younger than you and even I know this shit," Christopher said.

"I don't think I can."

"Pussy," Christopher said as he walked off towards Tony and the other boys. Joey stared at the rows of candy bars. His heart beat wildly as he looked over at Christopher talking to them, laughing. They peered into his fanny pack. Joey didn't want to be outdone. He reached forward and wrapped his fingers around a Butterfinger.

"Hey, what are you kids doing?" The man behind the counter screamed. Joey jumped about twenty feet in the air and turned towards the guy who was screaming at Tony, Christopher and the rest of the guys. The group started laughing.

"Fuck off, old man," Tony yelled back as the group ran towards the door. Joey dropped the Butterfinger and ran after them, grabbed their bikes and rode quickly down the street, still laughing. They rode so fast and so long, they did end up at Cunningham but instead of riding the dirt bike trails, they shared their loot. Christopher handed out the candy bars to the older boys who seemed amazed by him and Tony showed them the necklace he had stolen for Carmela. They were laughing and Joey felt increasingly left out.

"What did you get, Little Joe?" Artie asked.

"Joey was a pussy," Christopher said.

"I'm not...I just-I didn't-" Joey said.

"It's alright, it's alright. Lay off the kid," Tony said.

"Still pussy," Christopher said.

Joey shoved Christopher, hard. Christopher shoved back but Joey weighed more and could hit harder. Tony had to get between them and separate them.

"Hey, hey….we're family. Family doesn't hurt family," Tony said. Joey and Christopher stopped fighting but it didn't matter, Joey was still pissed off.

The next day, he rode back to the drugstore. He'd do it this time. He wouldn't chicken out. He would actually do what needed to be done. He was older than Christopher, smarter. He could do this. Christopher was an idiot, showing his loot while in the store. Idiot. Joey walked into the store and walked towards the rows of candy bars. He took a deep breath and reached towards the Butterfinger. He grabbed it and immediately stuffed it in the fanny pack he had for this moment. He looked back and the old man behind the counter who wasn't looking at him. So Joey turned back and decided to keep going, he could have left but he wanted more candy, one after the other. He kept throwing them into his fanny pack when he was pulled back, suddenly, turned around and he looked up into the eyes of the old man. Joey's breath got caught in his throat. He couldn't find it in him to speak.

His father was called and Joseph Senior looked pissed as he sat next to Joey. The old man whom Joey learned was called, Gus, kept talking about Joey and his friends and how they kept ripping him off. Joey felt scared but kept thinking of Tony. He thought of what Tony had said the previous day. Tony had no fear, Christopher had no fear. He shouldn't have fear either.

"Fuck off, old man," he heard himself say. It sounded like it was coming somewhere else. The room went silent.

"Excuse me?" Gus said.

"What did you just say?" Joseph Senior said.

"Fuck off, old man. Maybe-maybe you shouldn't make your stuff so easy to grab," Joey said, pretty sure his voice was shaking and he was trying to hide his hands so his dad and Gus wouldn't see the trembling. "Fuck off, old man."

His eyes closed when he felt his dad grab his arm and pull him over his lap. He knew what was coming and he kept his eyes shut as his father spanked him, hard. He didn't cry, he knew he deserved it but his dad didn't get it. When he was done getting spanked, his father stood up, grabbed Joey's arm and pulled him out of the store. Gus telling him that he and his friends were no longer allowed in the store. As they left though, Joey reached out and grabbed another candy bar without his dad or Gus noticing and stuffed it in his fanny pack.

When they got back, his mother stormed towards him and grabbed his arm and marched him towards the kitchen where his mother began spanking him as well. It was then that he began to cry. Joey always cried when his mother got mad. When she was done, he stood crying.

"I didn't raise a thief," Gloria said, shaking her finger at him.

"I'm sorry," Joey said.

"You know what it is? It's Tony and his friends," Gloria said as Joseph Senior walked towards them and opened the fridge, "I don't-"

"It's not Tony. He was there alone," Joseph Senior said.

"They stole a bunch of stuff yesterday and Christopher called me a pussy and I shoved him," Joey said, sniffling.

"I don't like you hanging out with these boys," Gloria said.

"You keep giving me stupid sisters," Joey said.

Gloria gave him a look and shook her head.

"You want something to eat?" Gloria asked.

"Yeah," Joey said as Gloria went to start to making him some lasagna. Joey walked towards the table and sat. He hated getting in trouble with his parents. He especially hated getting in trouble with his mom.

"You know, Junior," Joseph said, sitting next to him. "Just 'cause the other kids are doing stuff like that, doesn't mean you should."

"Can I go dirt biking?" Joey asked. "When my ass feels better."

"Language, Joe," Gloria said.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," Joey said.

"And no dirt biking today. Today, you stay home," Gloria said.

"But-"

"Listen to your mom," Joseph Senior said as he patted Joey's hand. He hated that he wouldn't be able to ride but also felt incredibly guilty. He couldn't believe he had tried stealing and he had a chocolate bar in his fanny pack. He needed to give it back to Gus.

The next morning, he rode his bike again towards the store. As he soon as he walked in, Gus started yelling at him to leave.

"Wait, wait," Joey said as Gus reached towards the phone. Joey reached into the fanny pack and pulled out the candy bar and placed it on the counter. "This is yours and-and-I wanted to say sorry. I am-I'm sorry."

Gus stared at him, he looked so angry. Joey bowed his head. he felt so bad.

"Keep it," Gus said.

"What?" Joey asked, looking up at him. Gus' face changed from anger to concern. Joey watched as Gus reached under the counter and pulled out a box of Snickers bars.

"I haven't stacked these yet and bought too many this month. Here and when your friends ask, you stole 'em. I won't tell," Gus said.

"Why?"

"I was your age once too. But between you and me, kid. You're better than those hooligans you hang out with."

"Thank you," Joey said as he grabbed the candy bars and put them in his fanny pack. He nodded at Gus, left the store and rode back. When he got back home, he noticed the boys all riding around around in front of his house. He grinned wildly as he rode towards them.

"Where the hell have you been pussy?" Christopher asked as Joey rode towards them and stopped, the boys surrounding him. He opened up his fannypack and handed out the candy bars.

"Took 'em this morning. Who's a pussy now, asshole," Joey said.

"Whoa, nice loot," Blundetto said.

"I underestimated you, Tribbiani," Sal said.

"You took 'em," Tony said as he examined the Butterfinger in his hands.

"Yeah, of course. Now can we go to Cunningham. I wanna ride the dirt trails."

"Alright, but if I fall on my fat ass, I'm sticking a Snickers up your ass," Artie said.

"Fine, there's a lot of room up there," Joey shot back.

"And he'll just take it out of his ass and eat it anyway," Tony said.

"Yeah," Joey said, "now let's go."

Joey began riding and soon the other boys followed. He was officially part of their group. They didn't have to know the truth.

Once they arrived at Cunningham, they rode the trails. He loved dirt biking, going up and down the trails, getting dirty and practicing tricks. He could do it all day. He rode up to the top of a pile of dirt and got ready to ride when Tony appeared next to him.

"You didn't steal those bars, did you?" Tony asked.

"I did."

"I'm not telling the others, kid," Tony said.

Joey let out a sigh. He didn't want Tony to be upset with him. He didn't want Christopher to call him names.

"I tried yesterday but I got caught so...but I took one on my way out and then….I returned it and the Old Guy gave me candy bars."

"Okay."

"I don't know, Tony. I-"

"Hey, hey...it's alright. We've all got our skills and you know I'm not doing this shit," Tony said, motioning towards the dirt jump.

"Come on, I'm eight and I'm doing this. Don't be a sissy shit," Joey said, giving him a look, quickly getting into his favorite role as the obnoxious kid brother. Joey was still quite a few years younger than him and he knew that Tony liked him and because of that, sometimes taking advantage was necessary.

"Did you just call me a sissy shit?" Tony asked.

Joey simply smiled and began riding down the jump. He could hear Tony yelling and riding behind him. It was those moments he loved, riding around in the dirt, getting messed up and lying in the grass completely covered in mud. It didn't matter that he didn't technically steal anything. It was a rare feeling of euphoria to play with the big boys. This would always be more fun than school.

When he started third grade that fall, his teachers were strict and he would constantly stare off, wanting to do other things. He was constantly not understanding and overheard a teacher tell another teacher that Joey was simply a lost cause because he could not understand a word problem. It wasn't that he didn't understand it was that he just did not care. Why did he need to know how many apples were left when you subtracted or how to find the verbs or what have you. He simply did not care. He cared about playing and the TA they had for the third grade that year. She was was brunette and wore sweaters that did very little to cover her figure. Her name was Brittani.

"You're staring at Brittani's boobies," Kristi poked him with a pencil. Kristi was a classmate. They had been seated next to each other since kindergarten. They were always paired together and Kristi was far more aware of things than any other girl he knew.

"I'm not."

"You are."

"They're big."

"So? You're gross."

"It's what helps me learn," Joey said.

"Do you understand, Joey," Brittani said, walking over to him and leaning down to look at his unfinished word problems. His eyes widened as he stared at Brittani's chest.

"I understand," Joey said which elicited giggles from his table.

"Eyes on your paper, Joey," Brittani said.

"Yep."

Brittani let out an annoyed sigh and walked away, towards the teacher. Joey watched as Brittani talked with the teacher and began pointing at him.

"Joseph, come here for a second," The teacher motioned for him to approach her. He rolled his eyes as he walked towards her.

"Yes, Mrs. Goodman," Joey said.

"Stop staring. You are here to learn," Mrs. Goodman said.

"I am learning," Joey said.

"Right now, you need to do math."

"But won't I learn more staring at boobies than figuring out how many peaches Bob gets after he sells eleven?" Joey asked.

"Go to your desk and do your work, one more time and I send you to the principal's office," Mrs. Goodman said.

"Okay," Joey said as he walked back to his table. He didn't stop though, just tried to become better at hiding it. Maybe that could be his skill? Being with girls? He liked looking at them and when he played, all the girls seemed to chase him. Even his sisters would complain about some of their female classmates having crushes on Joey so maybe his skill would never be stealing, but instead the girls.


	2. Chapter 2

Some other quick explanations for Joey's story...

While in the other five, you saw moments in the beginning that made you feel sorry for them...I'm purposely not making this the case with Joey. I think he enjoys himself quite a bit and has fun. I think-at times-he's a little bit more aware than people give him credit for.

To the two guests: I am thinking Ben and Lauren should get together at some point and I really do want to do a Lizzie story just with her interactions with the three boys and I agree...no complaining! This is a lot of work and there are reasons for why I'm choosing to do certain moments. If you don't like them, then write your own!

4everMondler-thank you

RnR CnM- I think that's why Joey probably wasn't too affected or as affected as like Chandler or Phoebe would have been. I really see him as the type to be like, "well, that happened" and move on because there's nothing he can do about it.

BabatomyFriends-I always thought Joey was pretty street smart. He knows how to handle himself, what to worry about and what to just go, "ehhh, whatever" and I think that's what makes his childhood almost fun to write because he just gonna have a good time.

ShannaplusKlaus-I'm probably not going to have Joey be bi. I'm curious if there's anyone else who might want that? I just see him as being slightly pimpy. I'm also going to try to stick closely to what I've got for the other five. Those stories have already sort of mapped out Joey's. 

If there are other people out there who think Joey should be bi, definitely leave a comment. At this point there were no plans...although, because this story includes mentions the Sopranos, I may have to include a moment at the end where I put what happens to Tony Soprano.

 **June 1977-June 1978**

Tony's graduation party was in June and Joey's parents decided to throw him a party. Tony's parents didn't seem to care too much and that seemed to be Joey's gain. The party was amazing. People filled his house, they were dancing, drinking, doing adult activities much to Gloria's chagrin.

"This party is getting insane," Gloria said as she picked up four year old Tina who was sitting on the floor, playing with an empty can of soda and walked towards Tony's mom, "The cops are gonna come."

"Please, the cops don't give a shit," Tony's mom said. "I'm just impressed those mother fuckers let my kid graduate."

"Joey, go upstairs and take Tina with you," Gloria said, setting Tina down. Joey grabbed his little sister's hand walked her upstairs but not before quickly glancing back at the packed downstairs. This was was beyond awesome to him. His parents were running around, trying to keep everything calm and maybe some might say this was no place for kids to be. His parents would definitely say that but he didn't see the problem. It was people having fun. That's what a party was.

Upstairs, Gloria and Joseph Senior wanted all the kids to stay inside their room. They had set up games, snacks, videos. Tina walked over and sat with Veronica, Mary Therese and Mary Angela who were playing with their dolls. Joey could hear the pumping of music through the walls. He could hear a group of drunken party guests singing Hotel California at the top of their lungs. He wanted to be out there.

"I am so bored," Gina said, flipping through the channels on their parents television.

"Me too," Cookie said. "I wanna do something."

"You know, Christopher and Tony and everyone else are in your room," Gina said.

"Wait, really?" Joey asked, that didn't seem fair. Why did he have to be with all the kids while all his buddies were hanging out in his room.

"Yeah, I know. It's not fair. It's our house," Gina said.

"Hmmm, well, I'm going to my room," Joey said.

"Me too," Gina said.

"I wanna go," Cookie said.

Gina and Cookie got off the bed and walked towards Joey. The younger Tribbiani sisters looked up from their dolls, noticing that they were about to leave.

"You're not allowed to leave. Mommy and Daddy said," Veronica said.

"Yeah and if you tell, I'll beat the four of you senseless and mail you off to your real parents," Cookie said.

"I'd listen to her, she's a tough Cookie," Joey said.

"I'll beat you," Cookie said.

"I'd like to see you try. I'd beat you back," Joey said.

"You don't hit girls," Cookie said.

"I don't see any girls here," Joey remarked.

"Come on, I wanna go," Gina said as the older three Tribbianis walked out the door and towards Joey's room. As he walked in, his mouth dropped. He had never seen anything like this. Tony was sitting on Joey's bed with Tony's girlfriend, Carmela sitting on his lap. She was facing him as they were kissing.

"Holy crap," Joey muttered.

"This is so inappropriate," Gina said.

"I know, right? This is awesome. Wait, is inappropriate a good thing or a bad thing?" Joey asked.

"Hey, we're drinking beer," Christopher said as he walked towards Joey, Gina and Cookie. He had a bunch of silver cans in his hands and handed them to Gina, Joey and Cookie.

"Where did you find beer?" Joey asked.

"Downstairs, Uncle T's parents bought them for the party," Christopher said. "Drink up."

Joey, Gina and Cookie exchanged looks and opened their cans. The three immediately drank. It felt fizzy going down. He kinda liked it. Kinda didn't. It was fun though.

"Little J," Tony said, "you meet Carmela?"

"Hey, you're cute," Carmela said.

"Hey, you wanna help me take off her bra?" Tony asked.

"Tony, he's a kid," Carmela said.

"He's gotta learn, kiss me," Tony said looking at Carmela as she leaned into kiss him. Joey took another drink of his beer and made his way through the crowds in his room. People were everywhere, he had never seen it quite so packed. He looked back and saw Cookie and Gina clink their beer cans together as he turned and almost walked right into another girl.

"Watch where you're going," the blonde said, sipping her beer. She looked like one of his sister's Barbie dolls with a small little waist, long blonde hair and the bluest eyes he had ever seen. He was mesmerized by her.

"Sorry...this is my room. I'm Joey."

"I'm Kelsey. Nice room."

"So how do you know Tony?" Joey asked.

"Oh, I don't. I'm friends with Blundetto's sister."

"Cool….so….how you doin'?" Joey asked. He was almost stunned by the question. It had just felt like the thing to ask. Kelsey looked a little older and through some conversation, learned she was in eighth grade. She had boobs, she wore a tight shirt. They drank more beer. Maybe that's what helped him loosen up. It helped Kelsey loosen up. Soon the two found an unoccupied corner to sit in.

"You know, you're really cute Joey. I can't believe you're only in seventh grade," Kelsey said. He knew he had to lie. He couldn't tell her he was only nine. That just felt wrong.

"Yeah, I'm gonna be in seventh grade."

"I like this song."

Joey smiled as Kelsey, put her hand on his knee and leaned in. He felt as her lips pressed against his and he gently placed his beer down and placed his hands on her waist and slid them under her shirt. It was as if his hands acted on their own. She didn't back away as he reached under her shirt and towards her bra. He reached towards the clasps and unhooked her bra. Kelsey grinned at him.

"Joey," Kelsey said.

"Yeah? I hope that's okay. You're pretty," Joey said as he leaned in again and the two continued kissing as he began touching her when he felt someone grab his arm suddenly and drag him out of the room. He didn't even realize what was happening as he was dragged out and into his parents room. It dawned on him rather quickly what was happening as his mother and father began spanking him and his two sisters. Cookie was crying about how unfair it all was and Gina still seemed a little drunk. When they were done getting in trouble, they were told once again to remain there before leaving.

"This is so unfair," Cookie said.

"I know, why are we getting in trouble? It's our house," Gina said.

"I'm going back to the party," Cookie said.

"Me too, we now have to make ourselves look good," Gina said as she and Cookie walked towards the door. "Joey, you coming?"

"Yeah. I miss Kelsey," Joey said, following them out. He didn't care, he wanted to go back to her. He wanted to be with the other people, with his friends. He walked towards the door and the trio left the room but he didn't follow Gina and Cookie into his room, instead he went downstairs to find his mother. She was in the kitchen.

"Didn't I tell you to-" Gloria said as soon as she saw him.

"Mom, wait….it's-it's not fair 'cause...it's my room they're all hanging out in and there are so many people here and it's just...mom, you can't keep us all in there when there is so much happening in here," Joey said.

Gloria looked over at her son. She hated that he could talk so smoothly. She wasn't sure who she could blame that on, but she could discuss something else with him.

"Alright, go but...Joey, I didn't like what you were doing with that girl. You're nine. Not nineteen."

"I promise. Can I have a sandwich?" Joey asked.

"I'll make you one."

Joey smiled as he ran back upstairs towards his room where Gina and Cookie were drinking something. He was grinning.

"You're back," Christopher said.

"I know, I wouldn't miss this," Joey said as he walked towards Kelsey who was sitting cross legged on his floor. She looked at him and raised an eyebrow as he sat next to her.

"How old are you?" Kelsey asked.

"Does it matter?" Joey asked.

"Kinda," Kelsey said.

"I don't think it matters, he's a master. I think we found your skill," Tony grinned.

"Ton, don't encourage him," Carmela said, still perched on Tony's lap.

"How old are you?" Kelsey said.

"Nine," Joey said.

"Ewww, I just made out with a nine year old," Kelsey said.

"I wouldn't say ewww. I mean, look, you taught me. You opened my eyes to a new world that I don't know. Look, all I have are sisters and you taught me about women and you gave me lessons that I will know for the rest of my life," Joey said.

"See, the kid's got skills," Tony said.

"You're like a little pimp," Carmela said. "That'll be my new nickname for you, 'Little Pimp."

"Sounds good," Joey said. He liked that name. He really didn't see anything too strange about what he was doing. Age was just a number. Who knew what was appropriate for a nine year old? He liked being around Kelsey. It shouldn't matter his age, just that he enjoyed her.

He seemed to enjoy girls a lot. He liked talking to them, seeing them. Kissing them. He kissed Kelsey a lot that summer, she seemed to get past the age thing as they would ride their bikes together and just make out in random places and by summer's end, there seemed to be this unspoken truce between them that they would go on their merry ways, never speaking of whatever fling they had.

Although he did wish summer would continue but not even for the fun of kissing Kelsey but because school just bored him. Fourth grade was ridiculous. Why did he have to care about any of this? He didn't care about missions or pony expresses. Why did he need to know the area of anything or a fraction? He just didn't care. He wanted to be out in the world.

His only moments of happiness were lunch and recess. He would sit with Christopher and Kristi and throw rocks through the chain link fence on to the street outside.

"You wanna go to Cunningham Park after school?" Joey asked.

"I can't. I have dance class. I hate ballet. Those girls are mean," Kristi said.

"Then why do you go?" Christopher asked.

"'Cause my parents. They want me to be like famous. I have ballet and then I have singing and piano and…"

"You can never play that sucks," Joey said.

"I know. It's just-"

"Aren't you now a Beauty Queen?" Christopher asked.

"Don't even say that in public. That was so my mom's idea. She wanted me to be Miss Little Queens Supreme. At least I gotta a lot of candy."

"Really? You get candy if you go in a beauty pageant?" Joey asked.

"Tons. You have to get up like really, really early so you get like...I think my mom called it Jumping Juice. It was pixie sticks and soda mixed together," Kristi said.

"That sounds wild. I wanna be in a beauty pageant. I want that," Joey said.

"You're too fugly to be in a beauty pageant," Christopher remarked.

"Oh, please asshole. You were born from one of your mother's farts," Joey shot back.

"Hey, kid," Tony yelled as he and Carmela pulled up to the sidewalk just outside the school. Joey, Kristi and Christopher jumped up and walked up to the fence. Tony was in one of the coolest cars Joey had ever seen. "Come play with us."

"We can't. Recess bell's gonna ring soon," Joey said.

"Fuck the bell," Tony said.

"We're gonna grab a bite and we got big news," Carmela said.

"What's the news?" Joey asked.

"Come with us," Tony said.

"We'll be right there," Joey said as he, Christopher and Kristi ran towards a gate that led to the outside. Sometimes it was locked, sometimes it was not. No one really seemed to pay too much attention to them as they walked outside and ran to the blue Cadillac and jumped in the back. Tony sped off as Joey turned back to watch the school becoming smaller and smaller. He didn't ask anymore questions. Just happy to be away from whatever the hell was going on back there. They soon arrived at Sparks Steakhouse in the city. Tony parked and the group got out, walking in to see it packed with everyone. Blundetto, Sal, Artie, Davey, everyone whom Tony considered in his inner circle. It was clearly a party, for what, Joey still had no clue. He had always wanted to go to Sparks but his parents always complained about how expensive it was but there he stood in the midst of what seemed like a huge celebration.

"Whoa," Joey said he looked around at the red and green flowery printed carpet and mahogany walls. Tony draped his arm around Joey's shoulders.

"Kid, order whatever the hell you want," Tony said.

"Is this place for really rich people?" Joey asked.

"Don't ask questions, I'm getting married."

"Married?"

"Me and Carmela. You'll be at the wedding, don't worry. I'll have you be the ring bearer or a groomsman. Haven't decided," Tony said.

"Do I get to be in your wedding?" Christopher asked.

"Why would you be?" Tony asked. "Order stuff, don't worry about the price. It's taken care of."

"How?" Kristi asked.

"Your girlfriend's funny," Tony said as he walked off to find Carmela.

"How come you get to be in the wedding and I don't?" Christopher asked.

"Who the fuck cares? I'm gonna order me four plates of steak," Joey said walking over towards a table and sitting himself down. Kristi and Christopher sat on either side of him. Joey grabbed the menu and looked at it.

"But it doesn't seem fair," Christopher said.

"I know. Only three lamb chops and not four," Joey said.

"They don't even have prices on the menus," Kristi said.

"My dad said that's how you know you're in a fancy place," Joey said. "Live lobsters."

"Oh, they have to kill those to make them dead," Kristi said.

"Score," Joey said.

"You're stupid," Christopher said.

"You're an asshole. This restaurant has no idea how much I can eat," Joey said. "How much is five and half pounds of lobster?"

"We learned that in class last week. We did an experiment," Kristi said.

"Oh, I was too busy looking at Michaela Martin. She wears a bra?" Joey asked.

"No she doesn't. Her big sister had her boobs done so Michaela stole one of her bras and stuffed it with Kleenex. Seriously, drop juice on her and watch her absorb," Kristi said.

"I will," Joey said, making a mental note to do that. For now though, he would eat and eat he did. He ordered the five and a half pound lobster, steak, cheesecake, chocolate truffle and put every ounce of it away. It was truly a wonderful party, a wonderful day and Joey had eaten way too much.

The joy of the day quickly ended when Tony had driven in front of Joey's house. He knew he was in deep trouble. Kristi's parents didn't seem to mind when they dropped her off, just that they were late to ballet class, Christopher's parents weren't home but he knew. He knew his parents would be livid and as soon as Tony turned off the car, Gloria and Joseph Senior raced out of the house. Joseph grabbed Joey by the arm as Gloria began yelling at Tony.

"Where the hell were you?" Gloria asked, screaming.

"Celebrating. I'm getting married, chill," Tony said.

"Don't take my kid out of school without my permission," Gloria said.

"Don't yell at him," Joey yelled.

"Get in the house," Gloria yelled as Joseph Senior pulled Joey into the house. Joey wriggled himself away as he ran to the window while Gloria yelled at Tony. He hated watching his mother be upset, but he hated Tony getting in trouble even more.

"You know, Joey….Tony isn't...you shouldn't want to be like him," Joseph Senior said, sitting at the table. Joey was too busy staring out the window and turned to his dad.

"Why not?" Joey said.

"'Cause… Tony isn't….you can do better son," Joseph Senior said.

"No, no….I wanna be like him when I grow up. I do," Joey said, turning towards the window to see Tony drive off. He heard the front door open and slam and soon Gloria appeared in the kitchen, glaring at him.

"Why did you yell at Tony?" Joey asked.

"You're going back to school tomorrow and you're not playing with Tony anymore," Gloria said, trying to hold back her anger.

"Why not? Tony is my friend," Joey said.

"He's seventeen, almost eighteen," Gloria said.

"He's my brother. I wanna be like him," Joey said.

"No, you don't," Gloria said.

"I do. We went to Sparks Steak House. I had five and a half pounds of lobster, steak and lots of dessert and-it was awesome," Joey said.

"You must be stuffed," Gloria said.

"No, I could have some dinner." Joey said.

Gloria let out a snort and walked towards Joey, gently placing her hand on his chin. She leaned in and kissed his forehead which shocked him a bit. He thought he was going to be getting in a lot more trouble but his mother seemed almost tired which made it seem almost worst.

"Mom, are you okay?" Joey asked.

"I don't want you to be like Tony," Gloria said.

"Why not?" Joey asked.

"I just don't," Gloria said. "I'll make you a pizza."

"Yes, please," Joey nodded.

He just didn't get it. What was wrong with being like Tony? He didn't have to go to school, he didn't have to do anything. He hung out all day with Carmela and did stuff. It just seemed like so much fun. So much more fun than going to school.

His parent's ban on him playing with Tony was lifted rather quickly. Tony decided Joey would be a groomsman at his wedding to Carmela. He was chosen over Christopher. Christopher hated this, Joey thought it was the coolest thing to be standing there looking at Tony getting married and standing with all these guys that were so much older than him. He felt at home with these guys. He felt like he was where he was supposed to be. He didn't get his mother or anyone else being wary of Tony. It made no sense. No matter what happened in his life from that point, he would be following in the direction of Tony Soprano.


	3. Chapter 3

**December 1980-July 1981**

She had kissed him. She kissed him first. That would always be his line. Janna Berkowitz. Mrs. Berkowitz. She was married. He knew that. She was a newlywed. She wore tight sweaters. She leaned over his desk as he filled out comprehension questions about The Hobbit which he did not comprehend because he had not read the book, finding it rather boring. He hated the book. Some dude's toes were hairy and he refused to read further. She would lean over him, her long curly brown hair would land on his shoulder and he smelled flowers. He knew he was not an ugly kid. He was discovering that rather quickly as he aged when girls would suddenly appear at his locker. Gina who was in eighth grade thought it was hilarious and Kristi was his lifeline to all the seventh grade girls in their class. She would find out who liked him and report back immediately. It was a great resource but when Kristi told him that she thought Mrs. Berkowitz liked him in a more-than-teacher-student way, he wasn't sure he bought it at first.

"Seriously," Kristi told him over mystery meat and steamed veggies in the cafeteria a few weeks before the incident. "She so likes you."

"She's a teacher."

"Let me see your test," Kristi said.

"What test?" Joey asked.

"The one she handed back last period, moron," Kristi said.

Joey reached into his backpack and pulled out the test they had done on The Hobbit. He had gotten an A+, a hundred percent. He had been shocked about this because he had not read the book and guessed on everything but he would accept a hundred.

"Oh, this is bullshit."

"I'm smart."

"You're a moron. What visual scene dominates Bilbo's memory of Gandalf and you put, that time Bilbo saw Gandalf jerking off in the shower."

"What?" Joey asked.

"What are Bilbo and Gandalf's professions? Bilbo is a midget prostitute that enjoys hooking up with dwarves and Gandalf is a crackhead with daddy issues."

"Points for creativity."

"You should have failed this test," Kristi said.

"You're being a mean person."

"Which of the following characters is not a goblin and you added your own choice and said, 'butt holes are funny.'"

"They are."

"You're a butt hole. She gave you a hundred because she likes you."

"Hmmm," Joey said.

He let that sink in and began to notice things a bit more. While he rarely studied anyway, during another quiz, he once again put wrong and inappropriate answers and when he got another hundred, he had to approach her. After school, he went into her classroom when she was looking at papers and approached her. He took all his test papers out of his bag and asked why he was receiving such high grades on ridiculous answers. He did hope she wouldn't change his grades as it was the only class he was currently getting an A+ in but it was curious and that's when Mrs. Berkowitz's face turned bright red. She really did look cute sitting at her desk, a brown curl fell over her face, covering her blue eyes. She admitted that what she was feeling was wrong and unprofessional. She could get fired but he wouldn't tell. He was fine with the hundreds she was giving him for doing little to no work. It made it easier. He felt bad for embarrassing her and soon, his hand touched hers.

"Mrs. B-" Joey began when she got up and walked around her desk, leaning against it.

"Call me Janna," she said.

He nodded. She really was pretty and young, "so Janna….how you doin'?"

Janna grinned as she laughed. It was a lovely laugh. He kept staring at her as she bit her bottom lip and before he knew it, her lips were pressed against his. He had made out with Kelsey and of course he and Kristi had made out tons of times, but this felt different. They kept going further and further, clothes were dropping to the floor as they were tangled up in each other's arms. He followed her lead as soon they lay on the floor of the classroom and he hovered over her. This seemed like the start to one of those Penthouse letters he had read in one of Tony's magazines. Tony would be so proud of him. He entered Janna and she let out a moan, this felt incredible. A rush ran through him as he felt every part of him ready to explode. He could feel her almost vibrating beneath him when both suddenly let out a scream. He felt an explosion inside him that made him stop and she was grinning wildly.

"Oh my G-d," said a voice that clearly did not belong to either one of them. Joey, still straddling Janna, looked over and noticed Mr. Campbell, the school principal, standing in the doorway staring at them, stunned.

"Oh my G-d," Janna said.

"Hey, Mr. Campbell. What's up? How you doin'?" Joey asked, grinning.

"You need to leave," Janna said staring up at Joey.

"Are we done?" Joey asked.

"You're done. Get dressed immediately, Mrs. Berkowitz, get your stuff together. You're no longer employed here and Joey, I'm calling your parents," Mr. Campbell said.

"Why? It was just some fun," Joey said.

"I could have your teacher arrested," Mr. Campbell said.

"Well, that seems like a little much," Joey said but Mr. Campbell was glaring at them so Joey got up. Mr. Campbell yelled at him to wait until he left the room, when he did Joey let out a sigh as he pulled on his jeans. He noticed Janna still lying there, tears falling down her face as she stared at the ceiling.

"Hey, you alright?" Joey asked, "he's not having you arrested."

"He's actually right," Mrs. Berkowitz said as she sat up and grabbed her sweater. She began pulling her clothes on, "I just destroyed my career. It's against the law for me to sleep with you. He could have me arrested for rape."

"But...I wasn't raped."

"It doesn't matter. I'm a sex offender."

"But I'm not offended."

"You're a child, Joey, I'm an adult."

"No, no, you...stay here," Joey said as he finished putting on his clothes. He began feeling a little bad again. He really did not think that Mrs. Berkowitz would get in trouble. It seemed harmless to him. It seemed fun. He walked out of the classroom and walked to Mr. Campbell's office. When Mr. Campbell waved him in, he sat and waited as Mr. Campbell finished his call.

"Alright, I told your parents what happened and I'd like you to see the school psychologist so-"

"I don't need a shrink."

"Joey."

"No. Look, I came on to her."

"I don't-you're a kid."

"Doesn't mean anything. It's my fault. Please don't fire her. Please."

"She better be happy I'm not calling the cops."

"She is. I am too but...she's...she's sorry," Joey said. "Look, no one knows this happened. Give her another chance."

"No."

"Mr. Campbell, you've never made a mistake at...how how old is she?"

"Twenty two."

"You're gonna destroy the career of a twenty two year old? I'm twelve, I'm not two. I'm not damaged. I'm actually quite happy. It was a good day."

Mr. Campbell let out a sigh, "Alright, tell Mrs. Berkowitz to come in here and you might need to move into another English class. There's no way you're getting an A+ in English."

"Dammit, now I have to study and shit," Joey muttered as he got up.

"Language, Joe."

"Whatever," Joey walked out and walked back towards the classroom to let Mrs. Berkowitz know that the principal wanted to see her. He grabbed his stuff and walked out, grabbing his bike and riding towards Cucinos Pizzeria. As soon as he arrived, Tony, Blundetto, Sal, Artie and Davey who were all now twenty one were sitting around several large trays of pizza and drinking from pitchers of beer. Christopher who was eleven was sitting by them, drinking a beer as well. They seemed to be in the midst of an intense discussion as Joey walked towards them, simply beaming as the long bike ride had caused him to think about what he had done.

"I just banged a teacher," Joey said walking towards Tony.

"Excuse me?" Tony asked.

"Mrs. Berkowitz, we did it on the floor of her classroom. She was helping me with my Language Arts," Joey said.

"That's why I love this kid," Tony said, putting his arm around Joey.

"Whoa, Mrs. B? You banged a married woman, nice," Blundetto said as he high fived Joey. Joey was thrilled by the attention. He was proud as Tony ordered him a pizza and handed Joey a glass of beer. Joey was a little more excited about the pizza.

"Christopher, move. Let Joey sit there," Tony said.

"I was sitting here, Uncle T," Christopher said.

"I don't give a shit, did you get laid today?" Tony asked.

"She's twenty two," Joey said.

"Nice," Tony said.

"She also almost got fired too but I think I got the principal to let her keep her job," Joey said as he sat in the seat that Christopher has vacated. The other boys began congratulating him, telling him he was now a man and he had made them proud. This was thrilling although as he sat there, a small part of him started to feel a little bad. He remembered the conversations with Mr. Campbell and Mrs. Berkowitz. Could he have really had his teacher arrested for what they had done? That just seemed crazy. He really hoped she'd keep her job.

Walking into his house later that evening, his parents were waiting for him. His mother looked furious and he could hear sisters talking and laughing upstairs.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Gloria asked, grabbing his arm and sitting him down.

"You don't do that to a teacher," Joseph Senior said.

"Why not?" Joey said.

"You don't. Mr. Campbell said you didn't want her fired and we can press charges," Gloria said.

"I hope you don't. I'm not a kid and you see who I hang out with and-and I saw a dude gets his brains blown out when I was four. Clearly, I'm okay."

"I don't….Joe, look, you gotta be more respectful towards girls. You have a house full of sisters," Gloria said.

"Whose fault is that?" Joey asked.

"Joe," Joseph Senior said.

"I am and-look-don't press charges or anything. She's only twenty two and-and she's married. Please just...it was a one time thing and I'm probably gonna have to move to another class which is really gonna suck 'cause that was the only class I was getting an A in."

"How were you getting an A in that class?" Gloria asked.

"I studied," Joey said.

"Joey," Gloria said.

"She likes me."

"Thought so. Go upstairs and do your homework," Gloria said.

Joey nodded and walked up the stairs to his room. As he stood at the top of the stairs, his sisters immediately emerged from their rooms and followed him into his bedroom.

"Did you really hook up with Mrs. B. Our parents have been going crazy," Gina said,

"I may have had a little fun with Mrs. B. It was an after school tutoring session," Joey said.

"More like an after school special," Cookie said.

"So you really had sex with her?" Gina asked.

"Ewww," Mary Angela said.

"Why are you four here, go away," Gina said, ushering Mary Angela, Mary Therese, Tina and Veronica towards the door.

"All of you can leave," Joey said as his phone rang. He grabbed it, a little stunned to hear Christopher on the other line sounding drunk, "I got Christopher on the phone."

"You know, Christopher's weird. He tried to touch my boob in math today," Cookie said.

"Did you touch Cookie's boob? 'Cause I'll kick your ass, Christopher," Joey said.

"Oh, us he'll protect but teachers, he'll just fuck," Gina said.

"All of you get out of my room," Joey said, ushering his sisters out of his room before grabbing the phone. "What is your problem? You touch my sisters, I break your face."

"You know Tony likes me better," Christopher said.

"Really, you're calling me about that?"

"It's not fair. I mean, I was there first and I was listening...I was part of-"

"Dude, I got laid today. I don't give a crap."

With that, Joey hung up. He was proud. He probably shouldn't have been and he did hope that nothing bad would happen but he would hold on to that memory. Of course, the next day he was transferred to another English class and when Kristi asked why, he told her. He did see Mrs. Berkowitz but she never looked at him. It did make him happy that she had not lost her job.

He realized though he truly did have a power with women. He had a way to make them want to date him. After his moment with the teacher, girls were following him everywhere and as seventh grade continued, he found girls more and more willing to do anything for him. He had them doing his homework, writing papers. It was truly an amazing find.

By second semester of seventh grade, Joey was loving his popularity. He had heard horrible things about middle school but he wasn't sure what those horrible things were. It was just fun for him and by Spring Break that, even bigger things were being planned. Tony and his friends weren't in college but a trip to Florida during Spring Break sounded amazing and what was even better was Tony wanted to bring Joey and Christopher along. His parents were harder to convince.

"I'll be with adults," Joey said, "and I'm thirteen. We'll leave after Easter and I'll be gone a week."

"No, I'm not letting my thirteen year old go spend Spring Break in Florida-" Gloria said as she stood over the stove, boiling a pot of noodles.

"Tony and Carmela are going and they're almost twenty two and...look, I'm gonna go," Joey said.

"Do you hear your son?" Gloria asked.

"I do. Son, listen to your mother," Joseph Senior said as he walked in and opened up the fridge.

"No, mom, dad….I can go and I-I'll be good, you can trust me," Joey argued.

"You had sex with your teacher last semester," Gloria said.

"Well, I won't do that during break. Please, look I'm gonna do it anyway," Joey said.

"You're gonna do it anyway?" Gloria said.

"I don't know. If I need a fake ID or something, I'll get myself to Florida. Come on, please," Joey said.

"Why are they even going to Florida? They're not in college," Joseph Senior said.

"I don't know, they said they had business to take care of," Joey said.

"I don't know if I like the sound of that," Gloria said.

"Why do you not like my friends? They're in waste management and construction. They're probably going to pick up some wood or waste or something-"

"Oh, you really think that's what they do?" Gina asked, walking into the kitchen and plopping herself down at the table.

"Gina," Gloria warned.

"What? It's cute my brother is an idiot," Gina said.

"Fuck you," Joey said.

"Language, Joe," Joseph Senior said.

"He's in human waste management and he….takes care of people. Tony's in the mob. He's part of a crime family," Gina said.

"No, he's not. You're joking," Joey said.

"You are so stupid," Gina said.

"Gina," Gloria said.

"He robbed a DiMeo Family card game. He's on his way to becoming a big deal in that world," Gina said.

"Really?" Joey asked.

"Honey," Gloria said.

"Okay, but even still...it doesn't mean I'm going to start committing crimes. Trust me, I'm gonna be okay. I just wanna go to Florida. It'll be fun. I'll call every single day. I'm not a thief. Remember when I stole the candy bar as dad and I left the store and then I returned it?"

"I don't remember that part," Gloria said.

"Well...that did happen. I'm not gonna do anything wrong. I promise."

Gloria let out a sigh as she walked towards Joey, holding his face in her hands. She gave him a kiss on the head as she looked at him.

"Every single day," Gloria said.

"I promise," Joey said.

"I'm a horrible mother, aren't I?" Gloria asked.

"Well, if you gave me a brother, none of this would happen," Joey said.

"Hey, what's wrong with sisters?" Gina asked.

"Nothing, you just all suck," Joey said.

Gina gave him a look but he didn't care. He was too excited to go to Florida. His family letting him go, it was only going to be for a week but it was going to be an amazing week. He would try to forget what his sister had told him about Tony, about him being in the mafia. He wasn't sure he really wanted to know. He wanted to soak up the sun, see the girls, do stuff he wasn't really supposed to be doing and he did. From the moment he arrived in Florida, he hit the beaches. He crashed parties, he drank, ate, played, really just went wild. There was a lot of sex. He loved sex, it was so wonderful and freeing. He didn't particularly care who it was with in those early drunken hours. Girls, guys, something about exploring someone's body, being in the moment just enthralled him. He just liked being, liked feeling so alive. No one ever said anything, no one seemed to care. He also told no one he was thirteen. Christopher was his partner in crime as they were the only two that technically weren't really allowed to drink but he learned quickly how little he liked to party with Christopher. Christopher would get wasted. It was a drain. Every single time Joey would try to talk to a girl or a guy or anyone, Christopher would become a drunken mess and he'd have to carry him back to the room.

After the twentieth time doing this, he had had enough. There was a wild party going on in their hall and Christopher was drunk again so he decided to go find Tony and his friends in their room. As he neared it, he knocked on the door and Carmela opened it just as Tony and his buddies jumped up but not before Joey could see what they were doing. There were guns on the bed which Tony and some other guys stuffed into their pants and piles of money.

"Carmela, you gotta wait," Tony said, "you can't just open the door."

"What are you doing?" Joey asked.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked.

"Chris is drunk again and it's like twentieth time I've had to deal with his ass and he's kinda messing with my mood," Joey said, "Tony why do you have guns?"

"Don't worry about it," Tony said.

"Oh my G-d…." Joey said as it all dawned on him, what his sister said, why his parents hated him being friends with them. It was all true. He slowly backed out of the room and began to walk back towards the party, he'd figure out a way to deal with Christopher on his own.

"Joe, Joey-" Tony grabbed Joey's shoulder and pinned him back against the wall. Joey pushed back which seemed to surprise Tony.

"I don't wanna know, man….okay, just Chris just keeps drinking too much and-"

"Yeah, I think he might be an alcoholic."

"What? He's twelve."

"Yeah well…"

"Fine. Then, he can pass out or something. I met a nice girl down the hall. She's gonna let me take off her bra."

"Alright, can I talk to you?" Tony asked.

"You're part of a crime family."

"It's not crime, really..it's waste management. We get rid of waste."

"Nice."

"Well, you know you're part of the family."

"I am?" Joey asked, stunned by this.

"Yeah. I'm taking care of you. You and Chris. You're gonna be the next generation."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm not talking about it anymore. Just stick with me, I promise I got your back for life."

Tony lightly punched Joey in the shoulder and walked off, Joey watched as he disappeared into a room. He let that sink in. He could be part of Tony's family. He wasn't aware he needed protection for life but it felt nice to know he had it. He thought the world of Tony and he had always wanted to be like him but he wasn't sure how to absorb all this.

"Joey," a red headed girl walked towards him wearing a red checkered bikini. She approached him and gently wrapped her arm around his waist. She leaned in and kissed him.

"Hey," Joey said.

"Your friend is passed out on our couch," the red head said.

"He's not my friend," Joey said. "Hey, you wanna order a pizza?"

"I so do," the red head giggled as she and Joey walked back to the room and continued to kiss. He wasn't too worried about Christopher and instead concentrated on the red head. He would focus on everything else later.

The week went by way too quickly. He and Tony did not speak about what had happened. He just thought about how amazing it had been. He told all the girls he was twenty one and no one seemed to question him. It was kinda cool. He also mentioned nothing to Christopher although he did think Chris was a bit of an ass. He just wished Christopher would have been a cooler person to party with.

"That was the best week of my life," Chris cooed as they were on the plane back from Florida.

"How do you even remember it, asshole?" Joey asked.

"It was amazing."

"You were like wasted."

"You drank."

"Yeah, but I still managed to remember it and I didn't drink that much," Joey said. "You're a mess, you might wanna cool it."

"Maybe. How cool was it though, to run with the big boys? We're part of the family."

"Yeah. Cool," Joey rested his head back as he thought over the past week. Was this past week an initiation? Was he part of the family? He already had a family. It would be cool to hang out with Tony and his buddies all the time. He had proven that he really didn't act like a kid. He knew how to behave older. He knew how to protect people. Maybe he could?

Once back Queens, seventh grade continued on and Spring Break was a distant memory. He just truly wanted seventh grade to be done but as the days ticked by, he realized he was still not done. Soon there would be eighth grade and then four years of high school, it seemed never ending. Maybe being in Tony's family would be a ticket out of school or his reward for finishing it?

Those times when he got to hang out with Tony and his buddies were the most fun. Spring Break and then summer. Summers where he'd ride his bike or go with Chris into Jersey to listen to Tony do deals about random stuff. Soon after Tony's twenty second birthday that summer, he took Chris and Joey with him to pick up some guy named Willie Overall who was a bookie in Newark. Joey didn't ask questions but as Willie refused to get in the car, he watched in horror as Tony got out of the car and executed the guy.

"Dude, you killed him," Christopher said.

"Why did you kill him?" Joey asked, still staring at Willie lying dead on the ground, a pool of blood surrounding his head.

"He owed protection money to Jackie Aprile," Tony explained.

"Protection money?" Joey asked, confused.

"You totally blew that guy away. You're so cool, Uncle T," Christopher said.

"Help me get the body in trunk. We got one more errand," Tony said.

"But he's dead," Joey said.

"Well, we gotta do this one thing. We can't leave him here. Come on, we'll celebrate after," Tony said as Joey and Chris got out of the car to go help Tony lift the body into the trunk. Joey felt nauseous, the guy was heavy and bloody. He of course could never tell anyone but he had never witnessed Tony killing anyone. Tony then drove them to a house where they buried the body. He was exhausted by the end and stunned by the events. Tony had just told them he was going to pick them up, he figured it was to celebrate his birthday. Chris and Joey couldn't get into any bars so he really had no expectations but then when Tony drove to Willie's home, when Willie came out and Tony drew the gun. It all happened so fast. There was yelling, screaming but this was his family. His protection. After it was all done, they went for pizza. Joey just kept thinking about everything, about family. It was terrifying watching Tony kill a guy but it was now a secret, a secret that bonded him to Tony and everyone else. Maybe he could go with this life? Maybe he could join the family? It seemed like perhaps he was already part of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**July 1981-August 1984**

He was old. That's what Joey saw in his head when he lay in bed at night. Willie Overall, although that did not seem like a real name. He and Christopher had been playing in front of his house, messing around on their bikes while throwing a football between them. He was wearing jeans and white shirt. He wasn't sure why he remembered his outfit but he did. Tony pulled up in his car. Joey and Christopher ran up to him as Tony told them to get inside. It was that sticky hot kind of summer and Joey could feel the heat of the seat seep through his jeans.

"Where are we going, Uncle T?" Christopher asked with that eagerness that always bugged Joey. He wasn't sure why it bugged him but it always made him want to punch Christopher in the face.

"Gonna celebrate my birthday by taking care of a few things," Tony said.

It took a little over an hour to drive from Queens to Newark. They passed the church and one of his favorite bagel places where they seemed to know his order without him ever having to say a word. They drove through the Bronx and Manhattan and eventually into New Jersey. It was an old white clapboard house they parked in front of.

"Stay in the back," Tony said.

Willie refused to get in the car. There was yelling and Joey watched as Tony lifted the gun. Maybe if Willie had gotten in the car….or maybe not? The bam sound, the loud blast of the gun. Then they had to move the body. Willie's eyes were still open. Joey's clothes were becoming dirty. He'd have to throw them out. He and Christopher had buried a grave in a basement of someone's house. Christopher was enjoying it, talking nonstop. Joey said nothing.

He lay in bed wide awake for days after the murder. He wanted so badly to tell someone. Every time he tried to close his eyes, he saw the blood. Willie knew he was going to die. He looked so afraid, his hands tried to shield his face. What that must be like? That feeling knowing that death is coming? Willie fell to the ground and at night, that falling sounded like a thump. He knew he could not say a word. He would watch the news to see if there were any reports, anyone trying to investigate a murder but there was nothing. This was strange. Did anyone care? Did anyone know who this person was? Someone died and no one was looking for him? What if he died, would anyone look for him? He was sure someone would, he hoped.

Tony picked him a few weeks after the murder, which freaked him out. Was he next? He was almost stunned when Tony pulled up to a pizza joint and all they were doing was eating pizza. Instead of eating in the restaurant however, they took pizza to go and headed over to Cunningham Park. When Tony put the car in park, Joey stared ahead with his pizza slice in his lap.

"Is this my last meal? You gonna kill me now? 'Cause honestly, if it's my last meal, I'm eating your slice too."

"I'm not killing you, asshole," Tony said.

"I saw you kill someone. You had me bury a body. I haven't slept in two weeks."

"I know. I had to take care of things and I knew you'd react differently than Chris."

"Yeah, he seemed to enjoy it. I can go to prison."

"You're thirteen. You'd go to juvie, not prison."

"Is that supposed to make it better?" Joey asked.

"A little, you'd be out by eighteen."

"Tony."

"Look, you're not going to juvie. No one's looking for him."

"That's really sad."

"I'm protecting you. You're part of the family and I'm gonna tell you, I'm on my way to being a made man."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I'm a full-fledged member of the family."

"A crime family."

"Yeah. Look, I don't have to worry about money and-"

"But if you kill people, they can't pay you back. I mean, I may not be a genius but I know dead people can't pay back debts."

"Look, this needed to be done. Nothing's gonna happen to you."

"Promise."

"I got you, kid. So sleep tonight."

"I'll try."

He still wasn't sure how he was supposed to be feeling about any of this. He knew he could never tell a soul. Who knew what would happen if he confided in anyone. Sure, he was pretty confident that neither Kristi nor his sisters would tell but what if they did? What if his parents found out?

Soon, he had very little to worry about as school began again that September of '81. In fact, as school picked up and eighth grade took up most of his time, Willie Overall soon faded into the background as if he never existed. To Joey's knowledge, Tony wasn't killing anyone else and everything seemed to go back to normal. He still hung out with Tony and his buddies, still went out on lots of dates and had lots of girls doing his homework. It was as if that murder was just a random blip in the radar.

He was finished with middle school in June of 1982 and when high school began, it still very much of the same. Tony and Carmela had a baby girl that September whom they named, Meadow. She's gorgeous and seeing Tony as a dad was even more bizarre. He was so protective of her and knowing what Tony did for living, comparing to his protectiveness as a dad was strange thing to reconcile in his head, so he didn't. His mother also became pregnant again in November of 1982. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. He did want a brother but he had a feeling he was going to be getting yet another sister. It was just too much estrogen. He really did hope this kid would be the last one.

Before he knew it, 1982 was ending and the countdown to January 1st, 1983 was upon him. He was celebrating in the middle of Times Square, he was now fourteen and several days away from fifteen. He had finished his first semester of ninth grade. It had been quite a semester and easy once again. He was starting to wonder what these horror stories were that were always told to him about middle school and high school. He was perfectly content with high school. He had a lot of friends and a lot of the girls in his class wanted to do his homework which he let them and when New Year's Eve came around, he had plans. His parents had reluctantly agreed to let him hang out with his buddies, watching the ball drop in Times Square. He sat at a table with Whitney and Brittany, two very blonde, very pretty girls from his class who volunteered to go with him. They were very sweet and Christopher was supposed to meet them there but he was running late.

"So how you doin'?" Joey asked, his arm draped around Brittany.

"You are so cute, Joey," Brittany said.

"I know. It's a gift. By the way, I was thinking you and me, we ring in 1983 in a very special way. If you know what I mean..."

"Oh, I know what you mean. That would be totally rad," Brittany said.

"Wait, what about me?" Whitney asked. "I did all your homework last semester. You promised me a reward."

"Are you still gonna do my homework?" Joey asked.

"Of course...but I do get my reward, right?" Whitney asked.

"Oh, of course," Joey grinned as both Whitney and Brittany began to fight for space on his lap.

"Oh my G-d," a girl sitting at the table next to them suddenly groaned. Joey hadn't noticed her before. She looked young, about his age, dirty and she had a bag and a pad of paper in front of her. That 'oh my G-d' was clearly directed at them.

"What?" Brittany asked.

"Oh, gross...you're dirty. You look like you need to bathe," Whitney said.

"Well, invite me to your home and I'll take a bath," The blonde girl grinned but something about her appearance threw Joey for a loop. Was she homeless? She looked too young to be homeless? Why was she alone in the middle of Times Square on New Years?

"Huh? That makes no sense," Brittany said.

"What school do you go to, Dirty Girl?" Joey asked, hoping he wasn't offending her. Maybe he should ask her name instead?

"Um...I um...I'm...I'm homeschooled," The girl offered.

"Oh, that's awesome. I wanna be homeschooled. I bet that would be cool. I could teach some lessons," Joey said.

"Yeah," Phoebe said as a waitress walked towards Joey's table with plates of food and began to place them on the table. He had ordered two or three of every appetizer and everything smelled amazing. It was his favorite: fried stuff with cheese. He immediately reached for a jalapeno popper when his eyes locked with the dirty girl at the table next to them. She looked at the food like she was about to jump on the table and eat it all. He rarely felt sorry for people, but there was something about this girl that was screaming to him.

"You look weird," Whitney said.

"Just hungry," the girl said, rolling her eyes.

"You want some food?" Joey asked.

"I thought Joey didn't share food," Brittany said.

"I know, but um...take some," Joey said, he was tempted to give her all the food. He felt like he wanted to take her home with him. There was something so broken about her. The girl got up and took a plate of mozzarella sticks, thanked them and began to walk off.

"So weird," Brittany said.

"I know. Like and did you see how filthy she was," Whitney said.

"I'll be right back," Joey said as motioned for the two girls to let him up. When he was able to get up, he ran through the crowds until he found that girl again. She was walking quickly but he managed to catch up with her and stopped her by placing his hand on her shoulder. She really did look broken. She looked like someone who had seen too much, someone who needed a break.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "Where do you live?"

"Um...over there," the girl said without really pointing at anything.

"Okay...it's just...how old are you?" Joey asked.

"Fourteen," The girl said.

"Me too. But...you wanna join my friends and I?" Joey asked.

"I'm fine. Happy New Year," The girl said but she just didn't look fine. She looked shattered. He had never really seen anyone look this way. "I have to go."

"Where?"

"I have to find….I have to go. Thank you," The girl said before turning and running off, disappearing throughout the crowds. He kept watching, wondering if he should run after her but there were too many people. Instead he turned and walked back to his friends. Whitney and Brittany were waiting for him and Christopher had finally arrived.

"Where were you, man?" Christopher asked.

"I had...I just...that girl," Joey said.

"Was she hot?" Christopher asked.

"She was dirty. I thought you were going to get your mozzarella sticks back," Brittany said.

"You gave away mozzarella sticks? She must have been hot," Christopher said.

"She looked broken. She's fourteen and...our age and….I don't know why it's affecting me. I just...I felt for that girl," Joey said.

"You have such a good heart," Whitney said.

"I guess," Joey said.

"You do not. You just wanted to get into her pants," Christopher said.

"Yeah, but that's with most girls," Joey said.

"Let's get you some more mozzarella sticks," Brittany said.

"Yeah, let's...we got a long night ahead of us," Joey said.

"Did you really think that girl was homeless?" Brittany asked.

"I do, actually," Joey said.

"Well, then that makes us jerky. We just thought she was dirty and obnoxious," Whitney said.

"I kinda wanna find her and apologize. If she is homeless then...she shouldn't be alone," Brittany said.

Joey nodded as they ordered more food and immediately went in search of the blonde girl who looked dirty but they couldn't find her anywhere. He hoped maybe he was wrong and maybe Brittany and Whitney were right, she was just a random girl who looked dirty and not dirty because she had nowhere else to be. He rang in 1983 with Christopher, Brittany and Whitney after they had stolen some booze and snuck up to the roof of some apartment building to watch the sunrise.

As second semester of ninth grade began, the memory of the New Years Eve girl was placed in the same mental box as Willie Overall. Something that just happened, something that no longer really concerned him. The summer between ninth and tenth grade, his sister Dina was born. Tony and Carmela began coming over more and more so that Meadow and Dina could become friends. The murder of Willie Overall had just become one of those unfortunate things that no longer needed to be mentioned.

Tenth grade began for Joey Tribbiani in the fall of 1983 and for the first time, there seemed to be a new kid ready to step onto his turf. Socially speaking, school was never a problem. He was popular with guys and girls, even teachers seemed to fall for his smooth talk and charms. He got away with a lot but it was tenth grade when this new kid seemed to wanna take over. His name: Shane Tamurrillo and there were rumors about him. He had gotten expelled from his last school for beating up some kid.

"I heard he beat the kid up so badly, his dick fell out of his ears," Christopher said. The group sitting at the lunch table consisted of Christopher and Cookie who were ninth graders, Joey and Kristi who were both in tenth grade and Gina and her newest boyfriend, Carlos who were in eleventh.

"How the hell would that even work?" Joey asked.

"I don't know but I heard he got expelled from his fruity tootie private school in Scarsdale or some shit for beating up some poor sap so badly that he has no dick," Christopher said.

"I heard he killed him. Shanked him, right in the neck," Cookie said.

"You're all jackoffs, if he had actually killed a guy he wouldn't be here," Dina said.

"Private school, those richie bitches seal that shit up," Christopher said.

"I wonder what the kid did to get himself shanked in the neck and get his penis shoved up his own ass?" Joey asked.

"I thought his penis was shoved out his ears?" Kristi asked.

"My way makes more sense," Joey said.

Joey watched as this new guy walked into the cafeteria and he couldn't help but laugh. The guy struck him as so full of himself, like he was some sort of tough guy who probably just beat up on guys who were weaker just to make himself look good. Those guys were ridiculous.

"He looks like douche. Like he's about two minutes from jumping on a table and singing about tough he is. I bet the kid he beat up was like four," Joey said.

"What? Are you sure?" Gina asked.

"Look at him with his dumbass hair and his leather jacket and shirt and-"

"Hey, big brother. You're wearing the same outfit. How cute? You're like twinsies," Cookie said.

"I can pull it off," Joey said.

This new guy didn't bother him in the least. At least not at first, Joey knew his place at school and his place was pretty high. He wouldn't have given Shane a single thought but it seemed like Shane was talking about him. He was hearing it through the halls. Kristi and her friend Melissa approached him between classes to let him know this new kid was talking shit.

"I really think you should talk to him," Kristi said.

"I know, he's like weird and he came in and was like, 'yeah, that kid Joey'...I'm like, 'you don't even know him, he's such a sweetie,'" Melissa said.

"He said you've slept with every girl in our grade," Kristi said.

"That's not true. I've only slept with like a hundred of you, I've still got a lot of you left," Joey said.

"I could be just so offended by the things you say," Kristi said.

"I know, it's so cute how you objectify us," Melissa said.

"Isn't it, really? Hey, you two are still on my list," Joey said.

"And we're gonna remain there a really long time," Melissa said.

"Hmmm, I love a challenge," Joey said. "Besides, Kristi you and I have gotten pretty close."

"Close but no cigar," Kristi said.

"We got three more years, I guarantee you that you'll be seeing my cigar," Joey said.

"You disgust me," Kristi said.

"Thank you," Joey said.

"Hey Josephina, what's up?" Shane asked walking towards him. Joey raised an eyebrow, not sure what this guy's story was and wasn't sure if he should figure it out. "Heard you're the tough guy at this school, you wanna try?"

This guy was truly ridiculous. Every word out of his mouth sounded like an after school special. He kept watching Shane just talk and talk, not paying attention to the words. He was waiting for the right time to make his move. He stood and waited as more and more people stopped in the halls to watch this little turd like guy puff his chest and try to rile up Joey. Joey kept waiting until he felt it was the correct time to make his move. He walked over to Shane and with a swift move, grabbed him by the shirt and pinned him up against the lockers which such force that the metal almost dented behind him and more people stopped to see what had happened.

"Hey, listen to me you fucking piece of shit. This may have worked on the private school pussy that you fucked in Scarsdale but you're on my ground now. You wanna fuck with me more, asshole. Try me," Joey said, glaring at him and he noticed the look in Shane's eye turned to fear. Clearly no one had stood up to this guy before and perhaps Joey would be the one. "You wanna call me Josephine one more time."

Shane shook his head and Joey tossed him off to the side watching him land with a thud on the ground. Joey let out a laugh as he turned and walked off. He had no time for jerks like that. His friends followed him and it seemed just like that, the tides had turned. Shane was simply a dumbass.

Joey was stunned though to see Shane again later that day while in wood shop. He was working on making a cabinet for his mom when Shane walked in. He let out a snort as he continued sanding the sides of the cabinet.

"You wanna get your ass beat again? Seriously, I'm around power tools and really, you don't wanna mess with me, I know where to hide bodies," Joey stated, of course not revealing how true that actually was.

"No, no….I-I'm sorry-I-I-in my last school I was a tough guy," Shane said.

"You seem like a poser and word of advice, if you have say you're a tough guy, you're not a tough guy. Why did you get kicked out of your last school?"

"I beat up a kid. An eighth grader. He never came back, I just beat him up."

"What did he do?"

"He was obnoxious. He was a fucking clown."

"So then laugh," Joey said.

"He wasn't funny," Shane said.

"Then don't laugh. So did the kid fight back?"

"No, he was a pussy. He just lay there crying in a pool of his own piss and blood. It was pretty hilarious."

"You're an asshole."

"I'm not...I'm...I'm...if I saw the kid, I'd apologize to him."

"No, you wouldn't," Joey said, laughing. "Look, you don't think I know dipshits like you? Screw with me, you have no idea who you're messing with."

"I'm sorry," Shane said. "Can we start over? I mean, I got kicked out of my last school. That's gotta give me some points."

"No. No, that just means you're an ass."

"Alright, fair enough."

Joey smiled at him as he continued to work on his cabinet and Shane lingered around. He began helping Joey with the building of the cabinet until Christopher showed up and three continued working, helping Joey out. He hadn't expected to make another friend but Shane seemed to fall in quite well. Shane and Christopher really seemed to get along well. He still wasn't quite sure he trusted Shane all that much but Shane seemed to understand who was in charge and it wasn't gonna be him.

June of 1984 marked the end of tenth grade and they really were a tight trio of boys. The end of tenth grade began with a block party at the Tribbiani house. This was a new development apparently or semi-new development. His parents had become far more lenient about having big parties at the house, maybe they thought that as long as they had the parties at the house they could still keep an eye on their kids. He wasn't sure of all the reasons but he was fine with it. The house was packed for the end of the school year party, there were people in the streets and he was shocked cops weren't even coming around or maybe he shouldn't be as he approached Tony and Tony handed him a beer.

"Should I be surprised that no cops have come by to shut down our party?" Joey said as he cracked opened the beer.

"No. Why? You want them to come? 'Cause cops love parties with underage drinking, rampant sex and a couple of guys shooting heroin in the bathroom," Tony said.

"Christopher and Shane?" Joey asked.

"How did you know?"

"Ehhh, guessed. That can't be good though. Where's Carmela?"

"Upstairs with Meadow and your mom. Meadow wanted to play with Dina. So this summer, you wanna work for me?"

"What do you mean, work?"

"I need help."

"Doing what?"

"Construction, waste management-"

"I'm not managing the waste you want me to manage," Joey said.

"Hey, I'm just grooming you."

"Sounds creepy," Joey said, drinking his beer.

"Look, I want you in the family. You're already in it. I trust you more than Christopher or that other bozo you brought along."

"I was gonna work at Dino's Pizza," Joey said.

"Yeah, you'll get fired within the hour for eating the merchandise. You don't think I know you, pizza boy," Tony said.

"You give me an hour before I start eating the pizza. Generous. I gave myself fifteen minutes or I crawl in the damn oven and eat it in there," Joey said.

"Come on, you can make some serious bread this summer."

"And I can eat some serious bread if I work at Dino's."

"Work with me," Tony said.

"Alright, I will. I'm not doing-"

"Hey, it's just a little construction."

Joey took a long sip of his beer as he walked towards the bathroom where Christopher and Shane were sitting side by side with what looked like needles lying on the edge of the bathtub.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Joey asked.

"Come on, it's a high. Amazing, Joe," Christopher said.

"You both look like idiots," Joey said.

"We're in a good spots," Shane said.

"You're on the floor of my bathroom. I mean, it is my favorite spot but not to do this shit. You guys are fucking crazy," Joey said as he walked back out through the crowds of people. He liked Shane and Christopher but he didn't like to hang out with them when they did drugs. It made them crazy. He liked being in the moment. This was what fun was to him, an entire summer to just party and have fun.

"Joe," Kristi said, approaching him with Brittany, Whitney and Melissa. He smiled at the sight of the four of them.

"Hey girls….you wanna go up to my room?" Joey asked.

"Joey, you are ridiculous," Kristi said.

"Well, actually….I've had like four beers. I could for it," Melissa said.

"Seriously?" Kristi asked.

"Yeah, let's go. We're no long sophomores. We have to celebrate that," Brittany said.

"I think so," Joey said. "Come on Kristi."

Kristi let out a sigh as the four girls and Joey grabbed some more beer and walked up to Joey's room, shutting the door behind him. As the alcohol flowed, the clothes hit the floor as they just enjoyed each other, kissing, touching. He loved this. He couldn't understand how anyone would not want this. He wasn't sure what this would be considered. A fivesome, perhaps but each one seemed very interested in him and he was interested in whatever they were doing. One by one, each took their turn until he was ready to explode and when he did, it was euphoric. It was his euphoria.

That kicked off his summer working for Tony. Christopher and Shane went along for the ride but it was obvious that Tony wanted Joey in charge. He was in charge of collecting debts. He would spend all day on a construction site, lifting lumber, sanding things down, spending all day in the hot sun while inside a nearby strip club, deals would be made and card games would be played. His first time holding a gun, his hand shook. He liked the rush though. He liked sneaking up on someone, getting them to pay what they owed. The first time he did it was, Tony told him to hunt down a guy at Umberto's. He remembered when he was at Umbertos last and he had seen a guy get killed. He snuck up behind a guy who was about ten, twenty years older and held the barrel of a gun to his head. Christopher and Shane beat him up, leaving him as a bloody mess. Joey didn't tell his parents where he was getting cash and he decided he would get himself a car or build it himself. He was making more money then he would have made at the pizza place and right before junior year began, he got himself a fixer upper car and with the money he made, he fixed it up. It was clear he was being groomed and he didn't mind. Having that much money felt incredible and having that much power was even more thrilling. Two more years left of school and he'd be out. He'd finally be part of the family.


	5. Chapter 5

**October 1984-October 1986**

He had graduated from his bike to a car. It was a large sky blue Ford pick-up truck he had gotten from his parents. It was the ugliest car he had ever seen and often had to make a running leap in order to jump into it but he truly loved it. He loved that when he stood next to it, it was about a foot and half taller than he was. He loved playing with it, making it run faster and working on the engine. He adored that car. He'd steal a six pack from his parents and stuff it under the seats, drinking a beer as he sped down his street. There was freedom with that car that took him from New York to New Jersey whenever he felt the need.

As he got older, the parties at the Tribbiani home were increasing and Joey was becoming a little more reckless with how he was behaving. The parties at his house were becoming close to legendary with people packing the streets and no cops ever came by. He really didn't ask too many questions, but when Tony and his buddies would show up, he understood. He always understood.

It was around October now and he had been appointed to stand guard at the door. He had the friendly personality so he was the one to welcome people in. Shane and Christopher could not be trusted. Of course, as he stood, the girls would flock to him as he tried his best to be hospitable.

"Hey, how you doin'? I'm Joey, welcome….we got girls, we got beer, we got hard stuff. We got weed, if you're interested. If you're a cop, we don't got weed and I'm twenty one," he said to three weird looking boys who stood in front of him. They looked like nerds. One was tall and lanky with a big giant afro, the other was kinda average looking and the other was quite heavy set. He had never seen these three guys before but it didn't matter. People came in and out that he had never seen before.

"We're not cops," the heavy set guy said.

"That's awesome 'cause I'm not twenty-one," Joey said.

"Um….I'm...I'm Richard Burke," the tall guy with the afro said, slowly. "And these are my buddies….Brad Jolie and Tag Ferguson," the guy finished pointing to each of his friends.

"You sure?" Joey asked. These three seemed rather ridiculous like they did not belong at this party. They clearly needed to loosen up or get laid.

"Yes, yes," the tall guy said.

"Alright, I don't give a crap. Go on in. My buddy, Shane will hook you up with some good stuff. My uncle got some illegal shit from South of the Border," Joey said, ushering them inside where they walked off. He wasn't even sure what he was trying to say but maybe those three could take something and it would make them not look like dorks.

"Who are the nerds?" Angie, a very pretty redhead from his class walked over to him.

"I don't know, but they're hilarious. I think they gave me fake names,"Joey said.

"That's too funny," Angie said.

"Maybe they think I'm a cop?" Joey asked.

"G-d, help us all."

"Okay, there are some weird dudes here," Kristi said as she approached him. She was joined by Melissa and Whitney.

"They're total comic book nerds. Like they're talking about like comic books," Whitney said.

"Weird. Comic books? Weird," Joey said, hiding one truth he had recently discovered about himself. He liked the superheroes. He had recently seen Super Girl whom he thought was kinda hot and of course there was Batman. He like those movies and he was beginning to love reading comic books. He would stack them under his bed near the nudie magazines. He wasn't sure why he was hiding it and there was part of him that wanted to check out the comics the three were discussing but maybe not. Angie soon leaned in to give him a kiss and the other girls were moving in on him too, he was too busy enjoying the moment that he hardly noticed the three guys walking out the door.

"Whoa, where you going?" Joey asked.

"Oh, thanks for the party. We're gonna head back home," Tall Afro Guy said.

"Did you see my buddy, Shane. He's got stuff. Good stuff," Joey said.

"Like what?" The heavy set guy asked.

"Stuff," Joey said.

"Like?" The heavy set guy asked again.

"Is he joking?" Joey asked Whitney who let out a giggle. Did he not understand what "stuff" meant? Although Joey wasn't sure what stuff Shane had but he was pretty sure it was illegal.

"Dude, we're three comic book geeks from Long Island. You gotta be more specific," The tall guy said.

Joey let out a laugh and shook his head, "I like this kid."

"We should probably go," Average Guy said.

"Yeah. Thanks for the party," Tall Guy said as the three stepped back and Joey watched them as they walked down the street and soon disappeared. He wondered who they were, where they were going. They just did not fit in with the people currently roaming around the streets of his house. He found the trio slightly amusing and did contemplate running after them but soon became preoccupied with Angie and a few of the other girls making him feel a bit better although he wasn't sure he was feeling bad in the first place.

"Dude, we're running low on beer," Christopher said as he stumbled towards Joey.

"I know, we gotta get some beer," Shane said, "go get some."

"Why me?" Joey asked. "I'm not sure I'm sober."

"Yeah, but you're more sober than the three of us," Christopher said.

"True, I just saw them doing lines in the bathroom," Whitney said.

"Snitch," Shane said.

"You're assholes," Joey said. "Okay, I'll go."

Joey looked over to the girls standing by him and looked them over. He would need someone to distract Gus.

"All of you girls should come with me," Joey said as Whitney, Melissa, Angie and Kristi followed Joey out to his truck. He hopped in and the girls followed. Joey reached under the seat and pulled out some beers and tossed them around. The group cracked them open as Joey started the car. He drove off down the street, downing his beer while he sped down the road. When he swerved into the parking lot, he threw the bottle out the window and stopped. The group jumped out of the car and Joey grabbed his backpack from the back of the truck. They walked in and Kristi, Melissa, Whitney and Angie immediately surrounded Gus and Joey casually walked towards the freezer and looked back at the four girls who were leaning over the counter talking to Gus. He was getting a little giggly which grossed Joey out a little. The guy was old and was seemingly okay with four sixteen year old girls flirting with him. That just seemed rather creepy. He shook his head and went to work, grabbing as many six packs and liquor bottles as he could until his backpack felt almost too heavy to carry. He looked back and slowly backed out of the store and jumped into the truck. The four girls hopped in soon after.

"I can't believe you made us flirt with a pervert in order to jack some free booze," Kristi said.

"He's so pervy and weird," Melissa said.

"I got you girls some wine coolers for your efforts," Joey said as he reached for his bag and opened it, handing them each a brightly colored wine cooler and another beer for him. He sped out of the parking lot as he drank and missed his turn.

He had driven the road from Gus' store to his house so many times he could do it in his sleep and maybe that's what happened? He wasn't so sure. He was driving fast and turned, quickly, turning into someone's mailbox and onto someone's lawn. He heard the girls screaming as he tried to desperately to stop and he did when he was in their flower bed, inches away from driving into this stranger's house and that crash was soon followed by the red and blue and the sound of sirens. The cops approached his car and tapped on the window. He didn't want to get out. He really thought he was sober.

"You have to open the door," Kristi said.

Joey reluctantly rolled down the window and looked at the officer. He could barely look at him.

"How much have you had to drink?" The officer asked.

"Nothing, nothing at all," Joey tried.

"Get out of the car," The officer said.

Joey knew there was no other option as he reluctantly got out of the car and soon he could feel the metal cuffs being slapped onto his wrists as he was placed into the back of the cop car. He could feel his heart drop as he knew this was not going to end well. He had taken an alcohol test at the scene which he failed and now was being driven to the Queens Police Department. There was a mugshot taken and he was placed in a cell. He was soon charged with driving under the influence, underage drinking and stealing as it was revealed that he had stolen the alcohol. He sat alone in a cell, feeling caged, dirty and wondering what would happen once his parents found out.

He wasn't even sure what time it was when a cop came to tell him that he had been bailed out. He walked out and saw Tony grinning at him. He walked towards him, his head down as Tony wrapped his arm around him and led him out towards his car. Joey got into the passenger's seat and Tony drove out of the station.

"How deep am I?" Joey asked, quietly.

"Pretty deep," Tony said.

"Crap. Do my parents know?"

"Oh, they know."

"Why are you picking me up and not them?" Joey asked.

"'Cause they were ready to kill you and I just thought it would be safer. Don't worry about the cops though, I took care of it."

"Am I going to juvie or….what's gonna happen to me?"

"Nothing, I took care of it."

"How?"

"You really wanna know?"

"No. No, I don't. So I'm in the clear?"

"With the cops. Not with Gloria and Joseph Senior."

"That's even scarier."

Joey's heart was pounding as Tony turned onto his street. He remained seated, too terrified to walk inside. He didn't want to face his parents. Tony stopped in front of Joey's house and as if on cue, Joseph Senior and Gloria stormed outside.

"Get in the house," Gloria said.

"I'm sorry….I-" Joey said.

"You're stealing and drinking….and driving?" Gloria asked.

"The booze was in the house," Joey argued when his dad smacked him upside the head.

"Listen to your mother," Joseph Senior said.

"I am sorry-"

"I am not raising you to be a schmuck and-"

"Mom, dad," Gina cautiously approached them as Joey was trying to yell back at his parents but it wasn't working. He wasn't sure it should all be his fault or maybe it should?

"We're in the middle of something, Gina," Gloria said.

"But this is important," Gina said.

"What?" Gloria asked.

"I'm pregnant."

And with that, a silence fell over the family as Gloria and Joseph Senior stared at Gina. Joey wasn't sure if he should move or not. He looked back at Tony who simply waved at him and drove off.

Joey remained frozen on the sidewalk, still even unsure of the time. He looked down at the ground and back at his parents who were also speechless.

"I'm...I'm gonna eat…." Joey tried.

He remained frozen, his parents still not talking so he quietly walked into the house. Cookie and Mary Angela were sitting at the table, eating cookies as he opened the fridge to grab something. He grabbed some now cold pizza and walked towards the window. He could hear his sisters asking him what jail was like but he wasn't listening. What he saw broke him. His mom was crying. He hated that more than anything. He saw her wipe tears away from her face and he couldn't stop himself, he walked out of the house where Gina was trying to talk to their parents.

"It's gonna be okay," Gina said.

"What did I do wrong? What...I have a criminal and a pregnant teen for children," Gloria cried as Joey put his arm around his mom. He hated the sound of his mother crying. It always tore him up.

Tony had kept his word and Joey was never charged with anything. Gina though was definitely pregnant and definitely planning on keeping her child. Michael was born in July of 1985. Joey was beyond thrilled to have a nephew. He wasn't sure what he would have done if another girl had been born into the Tribbiani family. He loved having a nephew and was more than happy to pitch in when he could. He had even perfected the art of diaper changing, he could change Michael using one arm. His mother, of course, found it simply adorable and declared that Joey would be the greatest dad ever. When Gina graduated school, she enrolled in beauty school in order to become a hairdresser. Gloria also helped with Michael when she had classes and that summer before senior year, Joey was back working for Tony doing whatever he asked because as Tony said, Joey owed him for what happened that October. He still wasn't sure what Tony did to get the charges dropped but he was quite happy they were.

Sparks Steakhouse. It was now the end of his first semester of senior year. It was around Christmas time in 1985 and Tony and Carmela wanted to take Gloria, Joseph Senior and all the kids out to dinner. Although with the exception of 4 month old Michael, two year old Dina and three year old Meadow, there really were no more little kids. Everyone was officially a teenager. Joey liked watching Meadow and Dina talk to each other in a language only understood by two and three year olds. He liked watching Gina feed Michael. He found it very sweet.

"I think your son is gonna be an amazing dad one day," Carmela said.

"I'm only having boys," Joey argued.

"Good luck with that," Joseph Senior said.

"Next month you're gonna be eighteen," Gloria said. "I'm gonna have two adults."

"What do you wanna do?" Carmela asked.

"No idea," Joey said.

"He'll work for me," Tony said.

"Or I can become an actor," Joey said not quite sure where that came from.

"What the hell do you know about acting?" Gloria asked.

"Are those your only two options?" Gina asked.

"I don't know. I don't wanna be a doctor," Joey said.

"No one wants that," Cookie said when they heard loud shots coming from outside. Tony immediately jumped up and ran outside. Joey followed despite protests from his mom and Carmela. Tony ran outside and grabbed his gun, holding Joey back. Joey noticed two older men lying on the ground, covered in blood infront of an old black Lincoln.

"Holy shit, they blew away Big Paul and Tommy. Tommy was part of the Gambinos. This isn't good," Tony said.

Joey knew little about the two men currently lying on the ground resembling Swiss cheese with blood pouring out of the holes in their body and staining the ground around them. He knew Big Paul was currently on trial for racketeering, he had seen it on the news.

"It's a lot of blood," Joey said.

"Stay back," Tony said as he raised his gun, looking around into the darkness. In the distance, he could hear sirens. Someone must have called 9-1-1. Tony stepped back and walked back into the restaurant with Joey following. "This isn't good."

"What's gonna happen?"

"It's the start of a war. Look, stop by the site tomorrow and-"

"I don't know...Tony...I got arrested for drunk driving and-"

"I know and I saved your ass."

"It still happened," Joey said.

"Look, come on….you're not gonna be a fuckin' actor."

"You don't know. I might be good."

"You're in too deep," Tony said, grinning at him before walking off. Joey turned, he could see paramedics surrounding the bodies on the ground. He felt bad for them but was Tony right? Was he in too deep? Maybe he had no other choice? He walked back towards the table and sat back down. Carmela was telling Gloria how she and Tony were trying for another baby. Joey was quiet, thinking more about the life that was being mapped out for him and for the first time, he questioned it. It seemed dangerous.

A few weeks after turning eighteen that January, Kristi had talked him into coming with her to an audition. She was wanting to be an actress. She wanted to move to New York and work on Broadway. She danced, she sang, she acted and she needed a ride so Joey offered to take her. In addition to not being charged with anything for what happened, his license didn't even get suspended. It was truly a miracle and he didn't mind driving. She was auditioning for a musical called Phantom of the Opera. She had to sing songs and dance and seemed good. He sat and watched and the fact that he didn't fall asleep seemed okay and she hit high notes and it did seem fun. It was kinda odd that it didn't bore him to watch the auditions. In fact, the opposite. He had a feeling that he wanted to be up there. He had never sung before. He had never acted, never danced but for some reason he desperately wanted to do that. It was dumb. He had his plan already mapped out and it did not include singing to some phantom in an opera.

"So how was I?" Kristi asked over pizza after the audition. She was still dressed in her audition clothes.

"I didn't know you could sing and dance. I always thought you hated it."

"I enjoy it. I mean, when my parents aren't forcing me to….it would be really amazing to get this. To go straight from high school to a Broadway musical. Amazing and Joey, I was thinking….would you ever consider acting or modeling?"

"No. What?"

"Okay, well before I left the audition, one of the casting directors noticed you and asked if you had ever considered modeling or acting."

"The really cute one with the curly hair?"

"Yeah."

"I don't….I'm probably gonna work with Tony and Christopher in construction and waste management."

"Joe."

"What?"

"You wouldn't….I can't see you in…'waste management,'" Kristi said purposely using air quotes for "waste management".

"I've seen dead bodies."

"I know."

"I kinda owe Tony though. He busted my ass getting me out of jail. I could have gone to juvie and-"

"I know but...I don't-"

"Okay….honestly, it did seem kinda fun. It looked like you were playing. I mean, it would be neat to like play a mobster then…I could be like Al Pacino. In Scarface. I loved Scarface," Joey said.

"You know, Revolution is still in theaters. You wanna see it?" Kristi asked.

"Yeah," Joey said. Revolution was Pacino's latest film. After eating their pizza, they headed to the theater to see the movie and while it wasn't the greatest film, he just could not stop watching Pacino. He wondered what it would be like to see himself up there? What if being an actor meant he could work with Al Pacino?

He kept it to himself though. He loved it but he wasn't sure he could pursue it. It wasn't like he could just call up Pacino and ask him for a part in a movie. How would one even begin? Then there was the rejection. Kristi had been so elated to audition and soon after the audition, she learned she had not gotten it and she cried in his truck for hours. He had thought it was so easy. She would audition and then that would be it, he'd see his friend on Broadway. The rejection seemed harsh and rather unfair. It gave him second thoughts and made think that maybe, just maybe working for Tony was a more stable way to live.

After high school graduation in June of 1986, he went right to work for Tony. He began doing construction and helping out when he could. He would sometimes bring people to Tony to "discuss" business with. Acting was just an idea. A random dream. He was actually making money hammering nails and sometimes getting rid of waste that Tony needed him to get rid of.

That summer of '86, the parties continued. Carmela gave birth to a baby boy named AJ that July so Carmela and Tony weren't always around for the parties but their presence was still felt and Christopher, Shane and Joey held down the fort or at least Joey did.

"Seriously, you two gotta lay off the crack," Joey said, drinking his beer.

"Try it, lame ass. You have no idea how to have an awesome time," Christopher said.

"Please, I know how to have a good time," Joey said.

"Oh my G-d," Kristi said as she and Melissa walked over to them and plopped down. He was thrilled Kristi was there. She had been reluctant to come after getting rejected from the play but she seemed to be okay or she was a better actor than he thought, "there are two people having sex in your bedroom."

"Seriously?" Joey asked.

"Oh dude, let's go upstairs and watch," Shane said.

"Dude, don't be a fuckin' pervert," Joey said. "Who?"

"Okay, the girl with the brown hair and she was….she was the girl who like I think had her nose up her ass and the boy who was named after Doritos," Kristi said.

"He wasn't named after Doritos. His name is Chip," Melissa said.

"What the hell kind of name is Chip? I like Doritos better," Joey said.

"And Kristi and I were leaning in to eavesdrop-"

"And I'm the pervert?" Shane asked, interrupting Melissa.

"We heard the girl ask if Doritos had a condom and he said that you don't get pregnant the first time and he pulls out fast," Melissa said, her mouth dropping.

"Oh, looks like Doritos is going to make baby Doritos," Joey said.

"Cool Ranch. Cool Ranch is good," Christopher said.

"I can't believe….she's gonna so get pregnant," Kristi said.

"I'm so gonna have to wash my sheets," Joey said.

"Oh, there's Whitney and Brittany," Melissa said. "I'm getting beer."

"Get me some," Shane said.

"Me too," Christopher said.

Melissa got up and walked over to Whitney and Brittany. Joey leaned back on the couch and placed his arm around Kristi.

"You know, I'm glad you could come and I'm sorry about Phantom of the Opera. It sounds dumb."

"No, it doesn't but thank you. It's just part of acting."

"See, this is why I don't think I should do it. I don't wanna….you got so sad….I don't...it sounds too hard."

"I'm gonna go on auditions. So will you."

"Naaaw, but when you get nominated for the Oscars, can I be your date?" Joey asked.

"Of course," Kristi said as he leaned in and kissed her. Kristi was truly his best friend. He loved that girl and he wanted nothing but the best for her and him as well.

"Oh, look isn't that Doritos?" Christopher asked, pointing towards the stairwell. A guy and girl were walking into the room from upstairs, both looking rather sheepish. It was pretty obvious as to what they had been doing upstairs.

"It is. Way to go, Doritos," Kristi yelled.

Doritos and the girl exchanged looks. The girl looked mortified as they walked towards them.

"Do I have to wash my sheets Doritos?" Joey asked.

"Um….why are you calling me Doritos?" the guy asked.

"I think it's because your name is Chip and so they're calling you Doritos," the girl said.

"You got a smart chick on 'ya," Christopher said.

"Beer, I got beer," Melissa said, returning with Whitney and Brittany. They began passing out bottles of beer.

"Can I have one?" The girl asked.

"Oh, honey...you shouldn't be drinking," Melissa said.

"What?" The girl asked. "But I'm….well, you're not twenty one."

"Yeah, that's why you shouldn't be drinking," Melissa snorted.

"Doritos knocked you up," Shane yelled.

"Doritos getting lucky," Christopher laughed.

"No, no...um….you know...Doritos-Chip, can we go? I think we were supposed to meet Mindy and Sharon and all of those guys for dinner," the girl said, looking like she wanted to melt into the ground.

"Really?" Doritos asked the girl.

"I'm not feeling well," the girl said.

"No shit," Melissa said.

"Does it really happen that fast?" Kristi asked.

"What? We didn't-we-I really think we should go," the girl seemed flustered.

"Alright. Doritos out," the guy said, saluting them before turning and placing his arm around the girl to lead her out. Joey let out a laugh as his friends continued to mock Doritos and his girlfriend, discussing what their children would look like. They decided that they would have Cool Ranch Doritos with brown hair.

Soon summer turned to fall and Doritos and his girlfriend were long forgotten. It was soon Halloween and the party at the Tribbiani's took up the entire street. Everyone was dressed in costumes, drinking, no one seemed to care. Joey had dressed as Hugh Hefner while Kristi and her friends were Playboy bunnies.

"Hey, Joe," a guy said as he approached him with three other guys. Joey noticed him instantly. His name was Dave and he lived down the street from the Tribbiani family. They weren't close but he certainly knew him. He told Kristi to hold on as he extracted himself from the girls and walked towards him.

"Dave, Dave, what's going on?"

"Nothing, we're here for the party. These are my buddies, Tyler, Matty and Chandler."

"Chandler? Cool name, man. It's like a chandelier...but not," Joey mused. That was a weird name.

"Yes. Exactly," Chandler said.

"I'm Joey. This is my house that we're standing in front of. So, Dave...you're graduating this year, right? How's the boarding school life treating you?" Joey asked. He had always found that bizarre. Why did Dave decide to go to a boarding school….for guys. It seemed rather lonely.

"Good. We're graduating next June. You graduated already, right?" Dave asked.

"Yeah, baby. I graduated last June," Joey said.

"What are you doing now?" Dave asked.

"Just started doing construction work and um...auditioning. I'm gonna be an actor, but let's not discuss this. We got a party. Chicks, man," Joey said, of course lying. he wasn't sure why he couldn't just say construction but he felt like he should add, 'actor'. He shook his head.

"Do you have anything to drink?" Chandler asked.

"We got sodas and stuff," Joey said motioning to his house.

"Something stronger," Chandler said.

"I like this guy," Joey said as he put his arm around Chandler and led him into the house with Tyler, Matty and Dave following behind. He wasn't sure who this Chandler guy was or what his story was but there was something about him that Joey liked. Joey led them to the booze table.

"Be careful though, man. No driving," Joey said, patting him on the back. He didn't want this Chandler kid going through what he went through and he was pretty sure this kid didn't have a 'Tony' to bail him out. Joey let the guys drink and hang out as he continued to mingle. Shane soon approached him, dressed as a gift with a card attached to him that said, "TO: WOMEN FROM: G-D".

"Hey, Joe," Shane said.

"Hey, by the way….your outfit is a lie. The only you gift you provide is the gift of herpes," Joey said, sipping his beer.

"Who's that kid?" Shane asked, pointing towards Chandler.

"I think his name is Chandler. I don't know much about him. He came with a kid who used to live down the street."

"Hmmm," Shane said.

"What?"

"Nothing," Shane said.

Joey drank from his beer and walked away from Shane towards Christopher who was talking with Cookie. They were doing shots at the counter.

"Awww, shots," Joey said.

"Yeah," Christopher said. "Your sister can drink."

"I'm such a proud big brother," Joey laughed as he poured himself a shot of tequila. As he did though, he noticed Shane standing weirdly close to that Chandler kid. Something didn't seem right as he walked across the room towards them and heard Shane say something about beating a clown. Joey placed his arm around Shane's shoulders and pulled him back. Shane looked over at Joey.

"Hey, Shane. What's going on here? Am I interrupting something?" Joey asked.

"Joe, hey...yeah, man...I realized I went to junior high with this kid," Shane said.

"That's awesome. You two catching up?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, but I'm gonna go over...yeah," Shane walked off and Chandler suddenly let out a breath. Joey laughed and patted Chandler on the back. He could tell this kid was freaked out.

"Relax, man. Shane's harmless...but you let me know if he gives you shit. I'll be on it," Joey said.

"Thank you," Chandler said.

"Of course. Any friend of Dave's is a friend of mine. Now, see those five girls over there? I'm trying to hook up with the blonde dressed as Bo Derrick. Wanna be my Wingman?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Chandler said as he followed Joey towards the group of girls. Joey soon lost him though as Brittany, who was dressed as Bo Derrick, led him across the room and the two soon retreated upstairs.

The next morning, Joey came downstairs and saw Shane on the couch about ready to shoot up some heroin. He plopped down next to him.

"It's ten in the morning," Joey said.

"It's my morning ritual," Shane said.

"It seems like a shitty ritual," Joey said.

"Yeah in 1987, I'm gonna stop."

"Okay, that kid from last night...what was your problem with him?"

"Nothing….he just seemed like a dipshit."

"Was he the one you beat up and got you expelled from that tootie fruitie school in Scarsdale?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, it was just a little knocking some sense into him and everyone overreacted," Shane said.

"You're an asshole."

"Why am I an asshole now?"

"That's the kid you beat up? Oh, that's pathetic. That's like punching a puppy in the nuts," Joey said, laughing.

"He had it coming. He deserved it," Shane argued.

"What did he do?" Joey asked.

"Crap. He's an ass."

"Uh-huh. You like punching puppies in the nuts," Joey said.

"Fuck you."

"Shoot up more," Joey said as he got up to go get himself some coffee. He kept thinking about that guy though. He was pretty sure that kid did nothing to deserve whatever Shane did to him but he remembered that look in his eye. That fear. That kid looked almost broken to him and it made him sad. He just could not stop thinking about the kid with the weird name and he hoped Shane hadn't messed him up too badly.


	6. Chapter 6

**January 1987-December 1988**

He was auditioning for the Heinz Ketchup commercial because Kristi told him to. He auditioned for ten commercials, landed two. There was the ketchup one and one for Coca Cola. He was now nineteen and had been working for Tony full time for two years but Kristi begged him to go on a bunch of commercial auditions and he was shocked when he landed those two. He wanted to be thrilled but when he learned Kristi had not landed anything he wondered if he should back off.

"Are you kidding me? You landed two commercials on your first go around. That's amazing," Kristi said but Joey could tell she was trying to hold back tears.

"But this is your thing, Kris."

"It's okay. I'm happy for you. I just….I'll find something. I will. I promise."

"I won't do the commercials."

"If you don't do them, I will hate you. You get to be in a Heinz Ketchup commercial and a Coca Cola commercial."

"The Heinz one is weird."

"How so?" Kristi asked.

"Well, the purpose is that the ketchup goes slow, right? Okay, so I put the glass bottle on the top or whatever of a building and then run down flights and flights of stairs to a hot dog stand and get a hot dog and then hold my hot dog out and the ketchup drips onto the dog. What kind of shit is that? Who wants their ketchup to pour that slowly? I'd break the damn bottle open."

"Well, you don't have to agree with the methods."

"I don't. At all."

"But you'll make some good dough."

"Yes...and maybe I'll buy them bottles with faster ketchup," Joey remarked, "but you're okay with me doing them. Right?"

"Yes. Look, I'll get in….somehow. I swear."

Joey nodded. He wasn't sure how much he believed her but he had enjoyed auditioning and he had enjoyed getting two of the parts. He was excited to tell his parents, especially his mom who was, of course, cooking when he got home. Dina and Michael were sitting at the table, coloring while Veronica and Tina were doing homework.

"Honey, you hungry? I'm making macaroni and cheese," Gloria said.

"I just had pizza with Kristi," Joey said.

"So you only want one plate?" Gloria asked.

"Hmmm, maybe two. Guess what? I went on a bunch of commercial auditions with Kristi and I landed two of them. For Heinz Ketchup and Coca Cola," Joey said.

"Awww, my baby is gonna be a TV star," Gloria said as she cupped Joey's face in her hands and gave him a kiss.

"You're gonna be on TV?" Veronica asked.

"I like ketchup….and Coke," Tina said. "Will you try to bring some home?"

"Hmmm, I'll try," Joey said as he walked towards the table and sat near four year old Dina. She immediately handed him a purple crayon.

"Color it. Color it now," Dina said.

"Yes, ma'am," Joey said as he began to color. His nephew also moved closer to him as Joey picked him up and placed Michael on his lap.

"So you think you might be an actor?" Veronica asked.

"I don't know. I like working for Uncle Tony," Joey said.

"I don't like you working for Uncle Tony," Gloria said.

"Ma, I keep tellin' you. I don't take part in the waste management part, just the hammering on nails. I don't wanna know shit about the other stuff," Joey said.

"Shit," Michael yelled which made him start giggling.

"Language, Joe," Gloria said.

"Sorry, Mikey, don't tell your mom," Joey said. "I just...I don't know. It would be cool and I liked it. But Kristi didn't get any commercials. It seems so brutal. Even though I got two, there were ten of them I auditioned for and didn't get eight. At least, I know I got some dough comin' in from somewhere."

"Are you gonna tell Uncle Tony?" Veronica asked.

"I have to. I'm gonna have to take time off work to do the commercials."

He wasn't sure how Tony or any of them would react when he told them about the two commercials. He would need two days off. Two days to film. That's what he had been told. He would have to let them know and he was hoping it would be okay.

The next day, he headed out to another job site. There was still snow on the ground and it was freezing as he was hammering nails into some wood. He was miserable and kept thinking about how those commercials. He'd be warm, not freezing as he ran around or did something with ketchup or Coke.

"Hey, kid," Tony said walking over to him. Christopher and Shane were walking up behind him. "Come with me, we're gonna take a ride."

"Tony," Joey said.

"I didn't ask a question," Tony said, patting Joey on the back as he led him off towards Tony's Lincoln. Joey got in the front and Christopher and Shane retreated to the back.

"How come Joe always rides front?" Christopher asked.

"'Cause I like him better," Tony said.

"Not sure what to say to that. Hey, you know...I gotta take a couple days off work next week," Joey said.

"Why?" Tony asked.

"I landed a couple commercial roles," Joey said.

"Really?" Tony asked.

"Awww, Josephina's gonna be an actress," Shane grinned.

"I'm gonna punch you in the head," Joey said.

"I'd punch you back, but I don't wanna hurt your pretty little face," Shane said.

"Why don't you stick your crack pipe up your ass, jackhole," Joey shot back.

"Hey, I haven't touched the stuff in three weeks. Told you, cutting it out in 1987," Shane said.

"Impressive," Christopher said.

"I know, right," Shane said.

"Hey, no, drugs in here. We're doing a professional job here," Tony said.

"If I'm guessing, our job is whacking people for some cash," Joey said.

"Still gotta be professional. You gotta have your senses together," Tony said. "So acting, huh?"

"I don't know. It sounds fun. It's for ketchup and for Coke. I like those things."

"Good things. You gonna come back to us though, right. Not gonna get too Hollywood?" Tony asked.

"No….I don't know what that means."

Tony let out a laugh as Joey reached down to turn on the radio. He kept staring out the window as Tony was driving them somewhere. He kept thinking if those commercials were a sign, a sign he was supposed to be doing something else. It never felt right, these rides. He had no clue who they were picking up but it really wasn't the point. He always hoped that whoever they were picking up wasn't home but they always seemed to be. They were always home and it seemed so strange. He wondered if they were just sitting and waiting for Tony to pull up in his Lincoln which seemed odd too because he was pretty sure that if some guy was after him, he wouldn't be sitting at his window waiting for him.

They pulled into the driveway of a large stone home in Long Island. It looked almost like a castle and was clearly one of the largest homes he had ever seen. He had to wonder what kind of person lived there and how could this person not afford to pay back whatever he needed to pay back. Joey let out a sigh as Tony looked at him. He knew the drill by now.

"I hate having a personality," Joey muttered as he opened the door, Tony tapped him on the shoulder and handed him the gun which Joey put in his back pocket. Tony had long ago decided Joey was the guy who would get the guy to the car because according to Tony, Joey actually had a personality. As he opened the door, he walked over to the door and pounded. A small, curly haired woman opened the door and looked confused. He shoved past her and saw a heavy set man eating cereal. The guy looked freaked to see him as Joey walked up behind him, and poked the barrel the gun in his back. "Outside."

"I wanna finish eating...can-" The guy said.

"Mr. Tabrubino, is all-" the small woman appeared again and Joey pointed the gun at her.

"Get out," He yelled as he looked back at the guy, "come on, you know this will only take a minute. You're in, you're out. We just need to talk to you about a few things. You can make it easy, you can make it hard."

Mr. Tabrubino let out a sigh and dropped his spoon in the bowl. He slowly got up as Joey grinned, placed his arm around the guy and began to lead him past the scared woman staring at them.

"There you go," Joey said, "now tell her you're gonna be fine. No one calls anyone, no one calls the cops, if you call the cops, it won't be fine."

"Don't call the cops, everything is fine. Just a business meeting," the guy said to the small curly haired woman.

"That's nice," Joey said as they walked outside. As they walked towards the car, Christopher got out of the car as the guy was clearly freaked out. Joey helped him get in when he noticed a group of girls across the street. One was staring straight at him. Joey motioned to Christopher who turned around.

"Hey, sluts. Mind your own business," Christopher yelled.

"Excuse me?" The girl with the long brown hair yelled from across the street.

"It's fine, miss. It's fine, just go with your friends-"

"Rachel, let's go," one of the girls yelled, motioning for her. "My neighbors are weirdos."

"Listen to your friend," Joey yelled.

"Yeah, or we'll help you listen," Christopher said.

"Get the fuck in the car," Joey said, looking at Christopher as Christopher shoved the guy in the back seat. Joey got back into the front seat and Tony tore out the driveway.

"This is why I have Joe do the talking," Tony said as he began driving down the street. Joey took a quick glance and saw the girl who was referred to as Rachel looking at him. He looked back at her.

"She's hot," Shane said and before Joey could say a word, Shane had rolled down the window and stuck his head out, "hey hottie, wanna suck my balls."

"Get the fuck back in the car," Joey said smacking him.

"Come on, focus," Tony said.

Shane turned back and they looked at the guy sitting there. Joey noticed he was shaking and sweating. Shane and Christopher took their guns out and start poking the guy like he was some sort of meat thing and they wanted to see if he was ready. They kept saying words to the guy, menacing words, something about money, debt, wages. He wasn't sure what else. As he kept watching the guy, he noticed a stain suddenly appear in the crotch area of his khaki pants. It was getting darker and darker.

"Oh, crap," Joey muttered.

Shane and Christopher followed Joey's gaze towards guy's crotch and started laughing hysterically as they nudged his crotch with the gun.

"Oh he pissed, Uncle T, he pissed," Christopher laughed as they kept poking at his penis with the barrel of the gun as if poking hard enough would make the pee come faster or stop it. He wasn't sure. Joey turned around and rested his head back against the headrest.

"You gonna miss this action when you become Mr. Hollywood," Tony said.

"I don't know. What's the point of this, Ton?" Joey asked.

"Get what you're owed," Tony said grinning.

"Yeah but-"

Just then, a loud blast filled the car and Joey fell forward as Tony slammed on the brake. They both turned back and saw the guy, Christopher and Shane all with various stunned expressions on their faces. Tony stopped the car, turned around and grabbed the gun from Shane's hand and whipped both him and Christopher with it, screaming. Joey gathered himself and realized what had happened. They had shot guy between the legs. There was a bullet hole in the seat. He wanted to say more when a smell soon overpowered him. He wanted to throw up.

"He shit his pants," Joey said, pointing. Tony, Christopher and Shane both looked and all three groaned. Tony turned around, started the car and all the windows were rolled down as Tony took a detour into a park. Joey knew there was a change of plans and the guys was now in hysterics. He was babbling but Joey wasn't listening, trying not to pass out from the smell. Tony turned into some wooded area and into some remote darkened area. He parked and got out of the car. Joey watched as Tony opened the back, pulled Shane from the car and then pulled the guy.

"Shane, Chris come with. Joe, you stay in the car," Tony yelled.

Joey didn't need to be told that as he planned not to get out of the car. The guy began racing as Chris, Tony and Shane chased after him, guns in the air. Tony had left his keys in the ignition so Joey turned the car on and began fiddling with the radio soon landing on a Slayer song, Necrophobic. He could hear screaming in the woods and the loud gun blasts, so he turned the volume up until the car began vibrating from the sound of the music. The lyrics of the song were about the ripping of flesh and part of him did contemplate changing the station but he couldn't move and he did not want to change anything. He remained frozen. He thought about those commercials. If he was an actor, if he became successful, would this part of his life ever come out? He would hope not.

Soon, Shane, Christopher and Tony returned covered in blood and dirt. The guy was not with them but Joey knew by now not to ask questions. It was never good to ask questions. No one spoke on the ride home but Joey was a little stunned no one could hear his thoughts. His mind was practically screaming. He had played a hand in that. He had brought that guy to his death. He may not have shot him but he was involved. He hated that he was involved.

A few days later, he was on set running up and down stairs, holding a hot dog and waiting for ketchup to fall on it and after that, he was drinking a coke and wiping his brow as he stood sweating under a billboard. He had been sprayed with water to make it look like sweat as it was still January. Everything was so easy, so fun. He didn't wanna go Hollywood but he felt it calling him. It was louder than the gun blast in the woods.

The commercials began airing a few months later. His family was impressed, Tony was impressed and the cash he had gotten from it impressed him. He used the money to work on his car. Of course, he was still hammering nails, running "waste management errands" but he started really auditioning. He would go with Kristi on commercial auditions and had even gotten a voice over job doing GI Joe in some kids cartoon which he brought Michael, Dina, AJ and Meadow along for. They were all still so young and he knew they'd love it and they did, clapping for him as he said his lines into a microphone. It felt like the perfect fit.

Of course auditions didn't cost anything and the GI Joe part was quick and easy so by summer of 1987, he was back full time hammering nails. He was back to helping out Tony, doing whatever he needed to do to survive. He missed the acting though. When Tony would take him, Shane and Christopher on one of his "waste management errands", he'd imagine himself as Al Pacino. He was playing a role. This was not his life. It was a fictional character, someone else.

It was now August, sweaty, hot and he was miserable. He was doing what he always did, imagining when he saw her walking past the site he was working on. He had noticed her before. She had been walking by the site since April, sometimes with some other people. She was cute. She long blond hair in a high ponytail and was wearing a tight tank top and a long skirt. She was definitely hot so he let out a whistle and she stopped, looking at him.

"Hey, hey baby...how you doin'?" Joey asked.

"Hello," She said, giggling as he walked towards her. She was tall, about his height and looked strangely familiar but he couldn't place her from where.

"So...do you work around here?" Joey asked.

"Um...well..." The blonde said before Joey noticed her guitar case.

"You're a musician?" Joey asked.

"Yes, yeah I am."

"What do you play?"

"Folk songs...that I write."

"Whoa...you write," Joey said. That sounded very cool. Maybe one day he could write. Or not.

"Just about stuff. You work in construction?"

"Ugh, yeah. Hate it though. I'm an actor. This is just to pay the bills."

"Oh...wow. Have you been in anything I may have seen?" The girl asked.

"Well...I've only been out here a couple years. I've been doing some stuff. I did a short...and I recently did two commercials. One for Coke and another for Heinz ketchup...did you see them?"

"Um...yeah. Great work. That's why I was walking by...I recognized you from those commercials," The girl said.

"Cool," Joey said although there was a part of him that doubted that a bit. He wasn't sure what it was but he had a feeling this girl had not seen anything he had done. "So...I'm Joey, what's your name?"

"Phoebe."

He held out his hand and she reached for it, shaking it. She looked so pretty and so familiar. Those eyes, he remembered those eyes from somewhere.

"You know, you look familiar to me. Have we met?" Joey asked.

"No. No...we haven't," Phoebe said.

"Oh, weird. So, Phoebe I gotta get back to work. Those nails won't hammer themselves. Kinda wish they did though...so how 'bout I give you a call and we could you know...talk more about your music?" Joey asked.

"Um...you know what, Joey...let me get your number. I'll call you," Phoebe said.

"Oh...one of those forward thinking chicks. I like that."

"Tribbiani, what the hell are you doing?" Tony asked. Joey grinned at him as Phoebe reached down to guitar case, opening it slightly and quickly grabbed a notebook. She handed him the paper and he wrote his info down and handed it back to her, smiling at her before running back to Tony.

"Did you see that girl?" Joey asked. "I gave her my number."

"Sweet, don't really give a crap. Let's go Hollywood. We got some errands."

"Why is….can't you get someone else?"

"You're the personality. I can't have Chris or Shane…you're the face and besides, kid, it's not like you've won an Oscar yet. You just done a couple of commercials."

"You never know, next year might be the year," Joey grinned.

"Until then, let's manage some waste."

It was always the same. He'd go into the house, get the guy out and the guy would sit between Shane and Christopher and they would take care of the taunting then Joey would sit in the car, blaring music trying not to hear the sounds of the blasts. The faces blurred and it never quite mattered who the person was. It was always the same. Joey was never the shooter, never the killer and when cops would start sniffing, he was never implicated but Joey always felt in some way his role was the worst. He was in charge of bringing people to die. His mind was often racked by the screams. Who were these people? Did they have families? Friends? Or were these just faces, random names. Maybe it would help if they were just random? If they had names, that would make it all too real.

Then just as 1988 began, things turned. He landed four television commercials and a television show called, TV 101. The commercials were for 7-Up, Doritos, Fruit and Fiber cereal and Levi's jeans. Seeing his face on television was a rush and getting the role in the television show was an even bigger rush. His first day on the set, he was immediately drawn to a curly haired girl named, Monique. She was dark skinned with bright brown eyes and her hair was the color of honey. She seemed into him as well. At least he thought so after a cast party three weeks into filming. There was a house, there was alcohol and there was a room. They were both drunk as they were making out which of course soon led to more.

"No, no," she slurred as they had kept kissing but he didn't pay much attention, pawing at her clothes, as they fell to the bed of the darkened room in some home he had never been before. He was pretty sure it was the producer's.

"Yes, yes," he said back and they fell to the bed, wrestling around as she kept kissing him, when they were done, he lay with a smile but he could hear her sniffling. He turned to look at her as she wrapped the sheets around, her looking terrified. She didn't say a word as she got up, grabbed her clothes and ran into the bathroom. His heart fell to his stomach but he wasn't sure why. He was pretty sure it was what they both wanted. He got his answer a few days later when the police showed up at the job site.

"Are you Joey Tribbiani?" One of the cops asked.

"What is this regarding?" Tony asked, walking towards them.

"Are you Joey Tribbiani?" The cop asked again.

"Yes," Joey said.

"Turn around please," the cop said.

"Why?" Joey asked.

"Do I say," the cop said and Joey turned around and felt that familiar metal of handcuffs being slapped onto his wrists and being told he was being arrested on suspicion of rape. He starting arguing as he was placed in the back of the cop car. He could barely breathe as the sirens blared. He had been so excited and now it seemed his acting career or whatever was left of it was going to end before it started. He was ushered into an interrogation room and told that Monique was apparently accusing him of raping her.

"She said yes," Joey argued.

"She's saying otherwise," the cop said. There were two of them. One blonde and one brunette. He wasn't sure who was good and who was bad.

"She was drunk, we were both drunk," Joey said.

"Look, we can make you a deal," the brunette one said.

"What deal?" Joey asked.

"You work for Soprano right?" The blonde asked.

"What about it?" Joey asked.

"You tell us what you know, we get you immunity," the blonde said.

"Yep, you tell us what you know about Sopranos operation and we let this go," the brunette said.

"Not in a chance in hell. You want dirt on Soprano, you fucking figure it out yourself," Joey said.

"Hey, you watch it," The brunette cop said.

"I'm not ratting him out. As for Monique, I'm sorry….I thought...we were both drunk. Okay, this is..l..let me talk to her. Please let me talk to her."

"She doesn't wanna talk to you," the brunette cop said.

"Please let me call her. Look, I get one call right?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," the blonde cop said.

"Then let me call her," Joey said. "Let me talk to her. You wanna be here when I do it, then you can but please let me talk to her. It was a misunderstanding."

The cops exchanged looks and proceeded to walk out of the room. He let out a sigh and could see everything starting to fall apart before it even began. He had four commercials. He had a television show. He should be happy. About twenty minutes later, the cops returned.

"Today's your lucky day," The blonde cop said as he picked up the phone and dialed a number before handing it over to Joey.

"Hello?" Monique asked.

"Monique, it's Joey," he said, looking at the cops as they stared back at him. "Look, I am so sorry. I didn't-I thought that-look this is the beginning of both our careers as actors and I don't-I'm sorry. I really am."

"I said no."

"I know. Monique, I am so sorry. I misunderstood...I thought...I'm really sorry...I'm really not a bad guy, I just..."

Monique was silent on the other end and he kept rambling. He soon found his voice starting to break. He didn't want this. He didn't want to be accused of this.

"Put the cops back on the phone," Monique said and Joey handed the phone back to them. His heart was beating out of his chest, he could hear it beating so loudly that he could hardly hear the conversation. When the cops hung up, they looked at him.

"She's not pressing charges," blonde cop said.

"You're lucky because I'm fine with throwing you in prison," the brunette said.

"I wouldn't be fine," Joey grinned as the cops reluctantly got up and escorted him out. He walked out and saw Tony waiting for him by the Lincoln. Tony smiled and hugged him as Joey got in the car and Tony quickly drove off.

"Funny, how this the second time I was released from police custody with no charges filed," Joey said.

"Not that funny."

"They offered me immunity if I gave them info on you. I didn't give 'em shit. Told them they had to figure it out themselves," Joey said.

"Good."

"Tony, do you ever get scared though? You got a wife and Meadow and AJ are really little and-"

"It's the life I chose and it's the life you chose."

"I'm choosing acting."

"How's it going?"

"I've now got six commercials to my name and a television show. Pretty well."

Tony let out a snort as he kept driving. Joey decided he would somehow get out of that world completely. He had no choice. He would have to leave that world if he wanted a chance as an actor. If he wanted to make his own name.


	7. Chapter 7

**January 1989-June 1989**

January 9th, 1989. Joey Tribbiani's twenty-first birthday but how to celebrate the birthday of a guy who had lived quite a lot in twenty-one years was a better question. What could he possibly do? He had hoped he would be a television star but that was not meant to be. His show, TV101, came and was quickly canceled after thirteen episodes. He had mixed feelings about it. After the misunderstanding with Monique, the show was tense behind the scenes. He enjoyed the other actors, Mary who played his girlfriend and whom he spent a lot of those thirteen episodes making out with, was his closest ally but Monique really did seem to hate him no matter how much he apologized and she refused to appear on camera with him so they could never film on the same day. Tony, Christopher, and Shane made fun of his character too. His character, Chuck, was a virgin which of course was not him and every part of it seemed so ridiculous and the fact that they had put the show up against Matlock, Who's the Boss and Roseanne, even his own family didn't watch it. He was thankful when the producer of the show had called him to tell him it was done. He was perfectly okay with saying goodbye to the role. There would be other roles. He figured he had built up a solid resume and people would be calling, beating down his door to hire him.

He also decided to move out of his parents house. That was the first big life decision. He loved his parents but there were so many people living at that house. Gina who was now twenty-two lived close to their parents with Michael who was four and he felt maybe it was his turn to take that plunge….with Shane. He had so not wanted to be roommates with Shane. Shane wanted to be part of a world that Joey wanted to secretly move away from but Shane wore him down.

"Think of the parties."

"We'll see each other at work anyway."

"We can bring home chicks."

Shane had a comment for everything and Joey tried his best to shoot every single one down. He would think of the parties. They would be Joey's and Joey would be inviting people. People didn't enjoy Shane. They were often scared of him. Yes, they would see each other at work and that was why he wanted to not live with him. He would be bringing home chicks, not Shane. He kept trying to ward off every question and he thought he was slicing through each of Shane's arguments with the precision of a ninja but it came down to the final dollar in which he caved. He had found the perfect place that was being rented out by two Swedish flight attendants, Isabelle and Nora. Isabelle and Nora were not twins but looked like they could be identical with pin straight blonde hair, crystal blue eyes and truly looked identical to Barbies. They were never home and they had rooms they wanted to rent while they flew around the world. It looked right onto the river, halfway between New York and New Jersey. He could easily drive home to his parents in Queens or drive to a site that Tony wanted him at in Jersey but the problem? There was that extra room and it became Shane's.

"It's gonna be awesome," Shane said falling onto the couch the first night which happened to be Joey's twenty-first birthday. Isabelle and Nora had okayed him having a big giant party. They weren't home, they were traveling somewhere. Joey was getting set up for the party.

"Yeah and thanks for your help, asshole."

"What? It's your birthday," Shane said, putting his legs up on the coffee table as Joey was setting out bags of chips.

"Yeah and hey, you could move out. I don't even want you living with me."

"Oh that hurts," Shane said.

"Get over it and if I so much as see a crack pipe, I'm breaking it in half and sticking the jagged pieces up your asshole so far it'll hurt to shit," Joey said.

"Hurting. You are simply hurting my soul. I've been clean for a year. I'm done with it. No drugs."

"Well, good job. That's good. You don't need that stuff. We got booze. We got a lot of girls. Nora and Isabelle are sending all their friends. This place will be like Sweden in a few hours."

"Nice."

Joey kept setting up as he looked over at Shane who reached for the remote and turned on the television. If he was going to be living with Shane, maybe he needed to figure out some more about him. He thought he knew all there was to know. He knew the guy was kinda rough around the edges and he knew he was desperate to be part of the Sopranos. Joey was never sure why, though. Why was Shane so eager to join a club that Joey was so eager to run from?

"Hey, Shane….can I ask you something, man?"

"Sure. What?"

"Um...well, okay, you know how I'm doing the acting thing."

"Yeah. Sorry about TV101 though but come on, you as a virgin? Who's gonna buy that shit?"

"Well, it's acting. My character was in high school. I have heard there are a lot of virgins in high school. Hell, that kid that you beat up….I bet he was a virgin."

"He's still a virgin."

"Maybe but….what do you wanna do?"

"For what?"

"For a job? You don't wanna do waste management?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Shane asked.

"Well...it's….I mean, I've been arrested twice already. It's not fun. Don't you worry that-"

"No, Tony and Christopher will protect me."

"Okay."

"You don't get it. It's easy for you man. You got family."

"What about your family? Hey, you know I've never met them. I've known you for awhile now. Are they gonna come by and see the place?" Joey asked.

"Probably not."

"Why not?"

"None of your business."

"Tell me," Joey said noticing the change in Shane's demeanor. He seemed really uncomfortable. He grabbed a couple beers and sat next to Shane, handing him a beer. Shane opened it and took a long drink and wiped his mouth.

"Alright, you wanna know why I beat the shit out of that kid?"

"Why?"

"He didn't get it. I swear that kid lived in a fuckin' mansion. His parents would get him any goddamn thing he wanted."

"It was a tootie fruitie private school. They all probably lived in mansions."

"He walked around like the world was against him, like every step was like someone shooting him the groin. I didn't belong in that school. That kid….all those kids. They don't know real shit."

"And you do?"

"Much more than they did. I don't talk to my parents. After I got expelled, they sent me to live with family friends in Queens and I met you and Christopher and I haven't spoken to them since."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. I tried a couple years ago when we graduated from high school but they moved."

"Where?"

"Didn't leave a forwarding address. I called and the number was disconnected and then I drove out and they don't live there anymore. I have no clue where they live. I don't have any grandparents, never really hung out with cousins so I don't know their names. No aunts and uncles. The Sopranos and Tribbianis…..it's a family. I like it. It's nice. You and Chris are brothers but that dipshit from the private school? No clue."

"Probably," Joey said. "Well, I'm glad you're here man."

"Really?"

"No, but….everyone needs someone."

"Thanks," Shane said.

Joey got up and walked back into the kitchen to continue getting ready for the party. He did kind of feel bad for the guy that he really did have no one. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to live with Shane. Maybe they'd actually end up as friends or maybe just not kill each other.

The party. He was so thrilled that the Swedish flight attendants would be gone for awhile because the party was out of control. The booze flowed like water and there was sex, a lot of sex. Even by Joey's standards, it was a lot. Threesomes, foursomes, every kind of some. There was also food. A lot of food. He was twenty-one.

Of course, the next morning he woke up, hungover and Kristi was laying naked next to him. He held her and kissed her as she groaned and turned over and stared at him.

"That was quite a night, Tribbiani," Kristi said.

"It was. It was perfect. I had sex, beer and food all night."

"What number was I?"

"I don't remember."

"That's what every girl loves to hear."

"I saved the best for last," Joey said.

"Nice. You know, I was thinking... have you ever had an actual girlfriend."

"Sure."

"No. Like gone out with a girl, dinner-"

"I've gone out with you."

"Not a date."

"I don't know. I'm having fun now. I never really thought about having a girlfriend. Just having a good time but maybe when I'm in my thirties."

"Maybe. It just you know we never talking about what happened with Monique."

"I don't wanna talk about it, Kris."

"Hmmm, but we should. It was pretty serious, Joe. Every girl you slept with last night, did they all say yes? Was every one of them okay-"

"Yes. It was a misunderstanding and why are we discussing this?" Joey asked, getting irritated. He wanted to forget that thing with Monique ever happened. It was a horrible misunderstanding. That's what it was.

"Because I've known you for so long and I know you better than you think, Joey. You're really a sweet guy. You're not a rapist. But if you keep doing this….it's gonna happen again. I'm not the cops so be totally straight with me," Kristi said, rolling over and looking at him, "did Monique say yes or no?"

She was clearly not going to let up. He let out a sigh. He did think the world of Kristi. He really could not lie to her and he figured she probably already knew.

"She said no….but I thought she was drunk," Joey said, closing his eyes. He was ashamed to admit it. He didn't want to call himself that but Monique had every right to hate him. Kristi kissed him on the cheek and he opened his eyes.

"She probably was but you gotta make me a promise, Joe. If she says no, even if she's obliterated, you fucking stop. Promise?"

"I promise and I think it's real cute that you care," Joey said.

"I do and you've been arrested twice already. Stop playing."

"I will. Hey, maybe you can be my first girlfriend."

"No. I don't wanna….I just look at you in a purely 'I enjoy sleeping with my best friend way,'" Kristi said.

"Good to know and you know what, this is gonna be the year. You and I are gonna get our big breaks in acting and I'm gonna get out of the sanitation business for good. I don't wanna sanitize anything else or manage any other waste."

"I think it'll be your big break. I'm still waiting for a break."

"You'll get it. You and I...we're like Madonna and Sean Penn or Sylvester Stallone and Bridget Nielson….or-"

"Bruce and Demi."

"Die Hard. G-d that movie is fantastic. Die Hard. You wanna watch with me?"

"Yeah, I like Die Hard."

"Why do you not want to be my girlfriend?" Joey asked. Kristi began laughing as well as they shared another kiss. They both quickly got up and got ready to watch Die Hard. In the living room, people were still passed out, strangers he didn't even know. Kristi retreated to the kitchen with the promise of making some of her famous, according to her, egg mcmuffin hangover sandwiches and coffee. He went to get Die Hard. Perhaps his day would be about Die Hard and perhaps a few others like Scarface and Rocky. It would be a Joey movie day complete with food and more drinking. The best way to ring in his twenty-first year.

He tried, kept trying to audition for things but it didn't work. Something was going wrong at those auditions. He would not get them or sometimes wouldn't even be seen. Sometimes he would go into rooms and notice an uncomfortable tension and the few things he did land, he noticed he would get fired before he even started. He had no idea what was happening but he began hearing rumblings. The rumors that he was in the mob, that he had killed people and the other which was that he was a rapist and was able to talk his way out of a rape charge. He couldn't even get an agent. Every time he had called an agency and gave his name, he was dismissed. It felt like his career as an actor was over before it even began.

"I didn't know Monique had that many connections," Joey said over what had become his signature meal, pizza of course. It was now almost June and he had not been able to land a single part in four months. No commercials, no bit parts. Nothing.

"Well, you were accused of rape. It might not have been Monique but everyone kinda knows," Kristi said.

"How?"

"I don't know," Kristi said.

"So basically my acting career has been destroyed because of a misunderstanding."

"It wasn't a misunderstanding," Kristi said. "You shoulda stopped."

"I-can I talk to her?" Joey asked.

"But it's not just that. You have a reputation. You're connected to the mob. You-you've-you're high risk. You've been involved in some seriously shady shit," Kristi said.

"But I wanted to….I wanted to get out of it. I wanted to leave it behind."

"Then leave it for good but right now, you're unhirable. You're more unhirable than I am. Look, I'm taking an acting class this summer. Take it with me."

"I was in six commercials and thirteen episodes of a television show….and I did a short."

"Yes," Kristi said.

"And-"

"And now you can't get a job. You've got to start from the beginning. Look, you lucked out. You got so lucky. I've barely been able to land anything and you've already gotten six commercials and thirteen episodes of a television show."

"And I was GI Joe."

"You were but you're not now. Now you are a guy who was accused of raping a girl and you've been arrested twice-"

"How do they-"

"Things come out."

"There are people in show business who have done far worse."

"But they've proven themselves, you just got lucky. Come with me to the acting class. Please."

"I gotta check with Tony. I promised I'd work a few jobs for him this summer."

"Okay, so here's your choice. Focus on acting and maybe get a legit job or hang out with Tony and if you arrested again, you really think he'll bail you out."

"He's already done it twice."

"So he'll do it a third time?" Kristi asked.

"No….okay, I will talk to Tony and...I'll do the acting class with you."

"Good."

Joey kept eating his pizza and trying to find ways to tell Tony he wanted to go to an acting class with Kristi. He knew Tony was expecting him to help out but maybe this was better.

After pizza, he headed out to the newest construction site that he had been assigned. He walked into a trailer where Tony was looking over some papers and chomping down on a cigar.

"Hey, Ton," Joey said as he plopped down across from him.

"Hey kid. So, I'm gonna need you to take care of a few things. Take Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum with you," Tony said referring to Shane and Christopher.

"Yeah, hey...can I ask something?"

"What?"

"Kristi, you know my friend Kristi. She's taking an acting class this summer and she wants me to join her-"

"But you already are acting."

"Yeah, but here's the thing. I can't get hired because of what happened with Monique and...and well….my connections to well...you and-"

"You need to me to put in a call? What do you want?" Tony asked.

"I want to take this acting class. It's only two, three days a week for a couple hours a day and I'll work for you the rest of the time….it's just-"

"You serious about this?"

"Yeah. I don't know. Kristi is saying my reputation is ruined and I just started and the thing with Monique-"

"Was a misunderstanding."

"She said no," Joey said, not wanting to admit it.

"Don't tell me that."

"She was drunk yes, but she said no. I did….I-"

"I don't wanna hear it."

"Okay."

"Take your damn acting class."

"Thank you. I won't let you down. I'll still be here to help you out but I-"

"I know. You're a good kid, Joe," Tony said.

Joey smiled, not quite sure he believed it but he wanted to. He wanted to believe so badly that he had not destroyed everything. He wanted to move forward, make himself hirable again.

It was a hot Tuesday morning in a big auditorium. Kristi and Joey sat side by side in fold out chairs, sipping coffee. Kristi seemed excited, he felt like maybe he had done all this.

"Stop being so full of yourself. It was just six commercials," Kristi said.

"What?" Joey asked, looking at her, puzzled.

"When you start feeling arrogant, your nostrils flare up. Did you know that? You have a very distinctive, 'I'm better than all of you look,'" Kristi said.

"You're watching me way too closely. It's creepy and kind of weird," Joey teased.

"Bite me, asshole," Kristi said, smacking him.

"Um….hi...hey….can I sit there?"

Joey looked to the tiny pale girl standing in front of them. She had long black hair and very blue eyes. She looked freaked as she pointed to an empty seat next to Joey.

"Sure, sure, go ahead," Joey said.

"Thank you," the girl said, letting out a sigh of what seemed like relief as she sat down. Kristi reached over and squeezed her hand.

"Sweetie, calm down. You're so nervous," Kristi said.

"I know, I-I-I-yeah, I don't know. I don't even know if I should be here," the girl said, sounding flustered. Joey was struck by how adorable she seemed.

"I'm Kristi, this is my friend, Joey."

"I was in six commercials and a television show that ran for thirteen episodes," Joey stated, grinning wildly.

"He's also an arrogant prick," Kristi said.

The girl let out a laugh as she held out her hand, "I'm Lizzie. Nice to meet you both."

"Why are you so scared?" Kristi asked.

"I-I don't-I've never done this-I have a boy-" Lizzie said before suddenly stopping herself.

"Boyfriend?" Kristi asked.

Joey was struck by the look on Lizzie's face as if she was seriously taking her time in order to think about that question.

"No," she said plainly, "no boyfriend. I don't. I just finished my sophomore year at NYU and um…I spent the last couple of years taking care of a friend who is a boy but not a-not a boyfriend."

"You sure about that, honey?" Kristi asked.

"Yes. Yeah, very….it's just-no, I don't have a boyfriend. I wanna-I came to NYU to be an actress but it's been a stressful couple of years, been taking care of other things. Got distracted and I have no clue why I'm rambling and I'm really sorry and-"

"Lizzie, sweetie, it's all good," Kristi said.

"Yeah, you're kinda cute. I like college girls, they're smart," Joey said.

"How many college girls have you gone out with?" Kristi asked.

"Get away from me," Joey said. "So like I was saying-"

"Oh my G-d," Kristi said, "Lizzie, stick with me. I will protect you."

"Excuse me, six commercials….and a television show," Joey said.

"Which show?" Lizzie asked.

"TV101," Joey said.

"Oh," Lizzie said.

"Did you watch it?" Joey asked.

"Well, I wanted too..but it was up against Who's the Boss and Roseanne and my friend, his roommate and I love those two shows. It's sort of like our Tuesday night TV ritual so we watched those instead. Sorry," Lizzie said.

"That's okay, I watched Who's the Boss and Roseanne too. His own parents didn't even watch it because they also put it up against Matlock," Kristi said.

"Love Matlock," Lizzie said.

"Who doesn't?" Kristi asked.

Joey wanted to be upset but instead, he found it funny and he found himself drawn to the pretty girl with the dark hair. As she calmed down and watched her do some quick acting exercises during that beginning class, he really was beginning to enjoy her. He rarely felt this excited to be in the presence of a girl. He wanted to know so much about her. After the class, the trio went for lunch and it became their thing. Every Tuesday and Thursday, they would have lunch and then go to class and he was starting to fall for her. He had never felt this way towards any girl and it made him nervous. He was there to concentrate on his acting. That's what he had wanted to do but Lizzie was proving to be a distraction.


	8. Chapter 8

**June 1989-December 1989**

Getting to know another person, actually going out on a date with a girl and treating her to typical date things all just seemed new and weird to Joey. It was bizarre to him that he had really never taken a girl out on a date. When he had asked Lizzie out for a nice dinner, he had thought of Sparks Steak House or Umbertos but he didn't want to risk running into anyone from his mob life. He decided on Cantina Rooftop which overlooked New York City. Margaritas and Mexican food just seemed like the perfect combination. Kristi even took him to get a new outfit and he washed his Ford truck, trying to class it up. He was so nervous to pick her up and the nerves got to him even more when she hopped into his truck and casually let it slip that her friend had a 1985 Cherry Red corvette that he had named, Sally. He loved his Ford but it was no Corvette. Lizzie seemed to sense the mood change and immediately reached over and touched his hand.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said a word," Lizzie said.

"Corvettes are cool. If I could afford one..."

"Hey, if I wanted to date a guy with a Corvette….I would. I like your car. It's big and roomy. The Corvette is very cramped. I really didn't….I'm sorry….can we start over?"

"Yeah, of course. You look pretty tonight," Joey said. Lizzie was wearing a denim skirt and white shirt. She had teased her hair a little.

"Thanks. So where are we going?"

"Cantina Rooftop."

"I like that place."

"It's supposed to be pretty."

"Are you okay?" Lizzie asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You seem nervous."

"I'm not nervous."

"It's okay...between you and me, I don't really date a lot," Lizzie said.

"Me neither."

"Are you one of those player guys?" Lizzie asked.

"Is it that obvious?"

"A little bit. I'm looking forward to tonight. It'll be fun."

Sitting across from each other at Cantina Rooftop, with margaritas and chips in hand, he loved how easy it was to talk to this girl. She grew up in Oklahoma but had family in New York. She had been attending NYU with hopes of being a Broadway actress but had gotten a bit sidetracked in recent years because she had a friend who was sick, she kept saying while not giving away too much information just that he was okay now. She told him she was single, she wasn't dating anyone and this summer really was about acting, about discovering herself. He got it, understood it and felt the same.

"So tell me about you?" Lizzie asked as she sipped her strawberry margarita.

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"Well….grew up in Queens. I have seven sisters and a nephew who is the best kid ever and…."

"Are you in school?"

"No. No, I didn't go to college. I work construction and waste management for my Uncle...Tony," Joey said that, trying to hide the wincing although he wasn't sure he did a good job. He didn't want to tell her anything.

"What?"

"I want to get out of waste management. I wanna be an actor and leave that part. I shouldn't be telling you any of this but when I say I work in waste management and construction, I should add my boss is my Uncle Tony….Soprano."

"Oh my G-d….why are you telling me this?"

"I don't know. Blame the margaritas. I want out. Maybe that's why I'm taking this acting class 'cause lord knows I don't need it."

"'Cause you were in six commercials."

"Exactly," Joey said, grinning. "I guess maybe I should be honest….you ever date a guy with baggage."

"Oh G-d yes," Lizzie said. "My last relationship."

"Yeah, I've….I've done some crap I'm not proud of and….I like you Liz, I do...and maybe-"

"It's okay."

"It is?"

"Yeah. I mean, we've all had...stuff."

"I wanna get away from all that."

Lizzie nodded as their date continued. It felt so easy with her. He laughed, so did she. They held hands. He had never really felt this connected to someone. He wanted to tell her everything and he probably did go a little too far but he trusted her. After the dinner, they walked around New York hand in hand and when he dropped her off, he leaned in to kiss her and she kissed back. He didn't press for more. He got the feeling she wasn't that type. So a kiss, a lovely little good night kiss and that was enough.

He looked forward to every Tuesday and Thursday when he would hang out with Lizzie and Kristi as well, then the trio would have lunch before separating. He'd drop Lizzie back at her sister's apartment and then drive towards Kristi's apartment before heading to a job site. He loved acting with her, standing there with her, rehearsing scenes and finding emotion in them and he knew Kristi was enjoying every minute.

"You are so falling for this girl," Kristi said as he pulled up to her building after one of those class days.

"I am not."

"She likes you and what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing….it's just...she's in college and that means she smart and stuff."

"I didn't go to college, does that mean I'm not smart and stuff?" Kristi asked.

"Don't make this about you. It's-"

"Maybe you can be friends with the friend she has that has the Corvette? I know that would probably give you a hard on."

"So bad I'd probably have to see a doctor."

"July 4th is coming up. Invite her to your party."

"Shane and Christopher and everyone are gonna be there….I don't want her to meet my friends."

"She's met me, she knows we're not a classy bunch. Come on, invite her or I will."

"I told her a little bit about Tony. I mean, I shouldn't have but-"

"Okay. Well, if you told her about Tony and that you-have you gone into details?"

"No but I thought perfect first date discussion would be that I work for Tony Soprano."

"Not really good first date talk," Kristi said.

"I know," Joey said, clearly Kristi had not picked up on his sarcasm.

"Did she run? You told her and she-"

"Stuck around."

"She likes you."

"Look let's just get through today, tomorrow….next week…"

"Alright. Bye, Joe."

"Bye, Kris."

Kristi jumped out of the Ford and Joey continued on the way to the job site. As he pulled in onto the site, Shane and Christopher were motioning for him to stop. He pulled up to them as Christopher jumped into the front seat and Shane jumped in back.

"Uncle T wants us to go to East Orange to pick up DeMaro Francino," Christopher said, "DeMaro's got a package."

Joey nodded as he drove where Christopher instructed him to go. He didn't ask questions. Never did but all he could think about was Lizzie. He wished he was back with her but as they picked up DeMaro, as they drove him back and as Joey hammered nails and tried to ignore the fact that he had once again driven someone else to their death, a thought occurred to him that maybe Lizzie might be too good for him.

He really had planned to not tell her about the July 4th party but Kristi had invited her for him. He was secretly relieved when she said that a friend of her's from college was having a party. Then Kristi decided that Joey should go with Lizzie to Lizzie's friend's house first and then they would go to the July 4th at his house.

"So you want me to leave my house and my party to go to another party first and then go to my party?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, Joey, they're gonna be over a hundred people at your party. You know that. The rest of us will play host while you make a quick appearance at the other party," Kristi said.

"We don't have to stay long," Lizzie said.

"Okay, alright," Joey said still thinking that the whole thing was kinda weird but he'd go along with it and that July 4th, he showed up at a house not too far from his place. When he got out, Lizzie greeted him dressed in a blue sundress with a red, white and blue bandana in her hair. She looked quite cute and as soon as he stepped into the backyard, he felt like he might not fit in. These were college kids and as soon as they entered the party, he felt like all eyes suddenly landed on him. Lizzie dragged him towards a group of her friends drinking from red cups.

"Hey guys," Lizzie said, "hey, this is Joey. Joey, this is Sam...this is his place and Jonathan, Carol-"

"Nice to meet you guys," Joey said although it was hard to ignore the feeling he was being sized up.

"We can't stay too long, we're also gonna hit up a party at his place," Lizzie said, grabbing his hand.

"Yeah, my roommate is throwing something so eventually we will have to go back 'cause he's gonna burn down my home," Joey joked.

"Yeah, so, I'm gonna get a drink. Joey, let's go get drinks," Lizzie said.

"You're actually gonna get a drink?" Carol asked.

"Yeah, I wouldn't I?" Lizzie asked. "Let's get drinks."

"Over there," Sam pointed.

"Good," Lizzie said, grabbing Joey's hand and walking him towards the table of drinks. Lizzie poured two glasses of beer and handed him a cup. He noticed Lizzie's friends looking at them and not being all that subtle about the fact that they were discussing them. Lizzie also seemed to be making a show of something, he wasn't sure what though.

"Are they okay?" Joey asked. "Am I missing something?"

"Um...no, no...I just-I wasn't honest with you. I had been in a relationship with a guy...it was kinda toxic. We broke up many months ago," Lizzie said.

"Is he coming?"

"No, I'm pretty sure he's not. They're probably just thinking about that relationship. Can you hold on just one second?" Lizzie asked as she walked towards the group. Joey watched as she looked like she was intensely discussing something with them before turning and walking back to him, grinning.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's perfect," Lizzie said as she leaned in and kissed him. He wasn't sure if she was kissing him to prove something but it didn't matter. He was enjoying the kissing.

They stayed at that party for about an hour or so before hailing a cab back to his place where the party was already in full swing. As they walked in, Kristi saw them immediately and ran towards them, hugging them both.

"Hey, you made it. You look so cute," Kristi said.

"So do you," Lizzie said.

"Hey, who's the hottie," Shane said walking over to them.

"Yeah, hey baby, what's up," Christopher said.

Joey let out a sigh and looked over at Lizzie who's face suddenly resembled stone as she stared at Shane. Lizzie's friends just seemed so much better. Yeah, they were staring at him a lot and seemed to be whispering about him but Shane and Christopher were just the worst.

"Um, Lizzie. This is Shane. He's my roommate and um...Christopher, we work together," Joey said.

"You're sweet looking," Christopher said.

"I know, hey there hottie," Shane said.

Joey shook his head as Lizzie slowly raised her hand to shake theirs. He felt a little repulsed by Shane and Christopher. He was tempted to suggest they go back to Lizzie's friend's house.

"Uh...Shane, weird question...did you go to school in Scarsdale by any chance?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah, he did but he got kicked out for beating pussy," Christopher said, patting Shane on the back. "So proud."

"Oh," Lizzie said.

Joey noticed a sudden change come over Lizzie and he wondered if he had missed yet another thing that maybe he should have caught.

"I thought you grew up in Tulsa? Oklahoma?" Joey asked.

"I did. But I have a friend who grew up in Scarsdale and um...he-I-your face looked familiar. I think I saw it in his yearbook," Lizzie said.

"Do I know him? 'Cause I was a big dog in Scarsdale," Shane said.

"You were not. You were a piece of shit," Christopher said.

"Hey, Liz...let's get you a drink," Kristi said.

"Yeah, you two morons go take care of yourselves," Joey said as he, Lizzie and Kristi walked off towards the booze tables. As they approached the tables, Joey looked over at Lizzie who seemed a little worried.

"Are you okay?" Joey asked. "Do you know Shane? Does your friend?"

"No. No, he doesn't….no, it was...I made a mistake. I don't think I like him very much though," Lizzie said.

"Oh, honey….no one does. The guy is a turd. In high school, Joey pinned him up against the locker so hard he dented the metal," Kristi said.

"I did," Joey said.

"Good. You know, I've never really gotten drunk," Lizzie said.

"You haven't? How have you survived this long?" Joey asked.

"I've survived….haven't lived," Lizzie said.

"Let's start living," Joey said, grabbing three cups and pouring three drinks. Kristi, Lizzie and Joey lifted their glasses and clinked them before drinking. Kristi then gave both Joey and Lizzie a hug before walking off to join some friends.

"This is good."

"Don't worry about Shane though...he's a...he's an asshole."

"Yeah, I get that. Are they reasons you didn't want me to come? Shane and Christopher?"

"I don't want you to think I'm like them."

"I don't."

"I don't wanna be like them."

"I know," Lizzie said as she stood on her tippy toes and kissed him. He kissed back. She grabbed a bottle of tequila and grabbed his hand. They made their way through the crowds of people and he lead her to his room where the two continued drinking from the bottle and getting drunker and drunker and finding everything hilarious.

"How have you been in college two years and you've never been drunk?" Joey asked.

"I just haven't. Sorry."

"What are they teaching you?"

"Nothing good."

"So your friends were nice," Joey said.

"They're okay. I think my friend, Carol is a lesbian," Lizzie said.

"Really?" Joey asked, trying to remember which one was Carol.

"Totally and see the thing is...what people don't get is like I'm right about ninety eight percent of all the things," Lizzie said.

"All the things?"

"All the things. Uh-huh and people go, 'oh, Lizzie you're wrong. Oh, Lizzie I hope you're not right.' But I am always right mother fuckers," Lizzie said grabbing the bottle of tequila and holding it up for emphasis

"I believe it," Joey said, grabbing the bottle and taking a swig before handing it back to Lizzie who kept on drinking. "Hey, you know what….I can draw porn. You wanna see?"

"That's so cool," Lizzie said, "hell yeah."

They were currently cuddled up his bed so he turned over and grabbed a notepad and piece of paper. He was never sure quite when he discovered he had this talent. Kristi had told him that it was vile but it was a talent he cherished. He drew a woman's private area. She was lying down, legs open and there was the full shot. Lizzie's mouth dropped.

"That's amazing. You're like Picasso….if he drew porn," Lizzie said.

"I know, right."

"So, Joe….why are you friends with guys like Shane and Chris? They're turd buckets. You're so much better than they are."

"I hope so although sometimes I wonder-"

"You are."

"I've done shit."

"I don't care. It's past."

Joey leaned in and kissed her again. The kissing became deeper this time as he moved in, he removed the bottle from her hand and placed it on his desk.

"Wait, no," Lizzie said.

"Okay, not making that mistake again," Joey said before realizing what he said.

"What?" Lizzie asked.

"Nothing. Never mind. We don't have to go further."

Lizzie kept staring at him, cocking her head to the side. She looked like her mind was elsewhere. He didn't want to push her.

"No, no….Joey….I want this."

"You sure 'cause if you're drunk then-"

"Joey. Please," Lizzie said. "I haven't had a lot of experience."

"Oh."

"I've only been with one other guy and-"

Joey nodded as he leaned in, kissed her and smiled, "I'll be gentle."

"I know."

They continued to kiss, it growing deeper and deeper. They were soon tangled up in each other's arms, soon clothes fell to the ground and they were completely wrapped up in one another. He had had had plenty of experience. His number at twenty one probably exceeded his age but this felt different. This rush, this excitement felt unlike anything he had ever felt before. It was a connection, an ultimate connection and when they were done, they lay side by side. Lizzie was quiet as he kissed her neck.

"Was that good?" Joey asked, whispering in her ear.

"It was perfect," Lizzie said, looking at him.

"You look sad?" Joey asked, noticing the look in her eye. They looked glassy like she was on the verge of tears.

"I'm not. I'm happy. I swear. Happy."

"Good," Joey said as they kissed again, cementing their relationship. He was pretty sure he was feeling things he had never felt before. It terrified him though. He wasn't sure he wanted to feel these things. He wasn't sure what this meant. He wasn't quite sure she even felt like he did although what did feeling that way mean? All this really was supposed to a summer of getting his acting career on track, of trying to figure out his next move. Would he remain with Tony or would he concentrate on acting?

Summer was winding down and he knew he would have to make the decision soon. There would be a party celebrating the end of the acting class. There was some sort of play and then Lizzie would go back to NYU. He was pounding away at nails still and there had been no decision. After July 4th, every single weekend had been spent with Lizzie. Practically every day had been spent with her too. They had gone to dinners and concerts and clubs. She had made him laugh and he hoped he returned the favor but a decision had to be made.

"Uncle T needs you," Christopher said, running out to grab him. Joey was working on a roof when Christopher approached him. That confused him. He had done his errand, he had brought some guy from Newark to meet with Tony about a debt. Usually, that's when his job was done. Joey jumped off the ladder and followed Christopher into a trailer. The Newark guy was kneeling on the floor, sweating, sobbing. Joey looked up at Tony just as Tony tossed him a gun. Joey stared at it.

"What-"

"Shoot him, Tribbiani," Tony yelled.

"I don't-no," Joey yelled back. The guy was whimpering, it was then Joey noticed the guy was shackled. Ropes restricted his movement. Why had he been called in? Did Tony know that Joey was trying to leave? Was this a way of keeping him? No, this couldn't work. He had never actually killed anyone.

"Kill the mother fucker," Tony said.

"Let Christopher do it or Shane or-"

"Your turn," Tony yelled.

"I don't want it to be my turn," Joey said.

"Don't...we can-I'll give you what-" the guy whimpered.

"Shut the fuck up," Christopher yelled.

"Do it, Tribbiani," Tony yelled.

Joey stood, holding the gun towards the guy. He put his finger on the trigger as he heard Shane, Christopher and Tony screaming at him to shoot him. His breath got stuck in his throat. Instead he raised the gun towards Tony, Tony's eyes widened as he reached back and pulled a gun on him.

"You wanna try me, you mother fucking rapist," Tony said, pointing the gun straight at Joey. Tears began running down Joey's face. He couldn't shoot Tony either. He couldn't shoot anyone. Joey turned the gun towards a corner of the wall and instead shot a picture on the wall. Newark guy started screaming as Joey turned towards him and watched as Christopher took control. Joey watched him raise the gun and shoot. Joey gasped when he looked down and realized his white shirt was now covered in blood. He looked over at Christopher, practically beaming and Joey felt nauseous. He immediately began throwing up, looking at the dead body on the floor, blood pouring out of Newark guy and staining the floors. Joey dropped the gun to the floor and walked towards the guy, kneeling in the blood and turning him over. He reached in the guy's back pocket and pulled out his wallet, opening it, not listening to anything Tony and Christopher were yelling at him. He was sure words were being spoken but he was opening the wallet, there was cash in there. Couple hundred which he threw at Tony but what he was looking at were the pictures. Newark guy and a lady, three kids, young kids. Newark guy had a family. He wasn't someone nameless. People would be looking for this guy. A wife was now without her husband. Children were without a father. He felt a pressure in his head as he threw the wallet to the floor and ran out of the trailer, to his truck where he hopped in but he couldn't move, he couldn't start the car.

Tony soon opened the door and sat in the passenger's seat. Joey could not stop crying, could not stop shaking as he looked at Tony. He had always wanted to be like Tony. He had admired him, loved him like a big brother.

"How much money did that guy owe you?" Joey asked.

"Not important."

"Yes, it is."

"A couple grand."

"He had kids. A wife. They're gonna-"

"Chris and Shane are making him disappear."

"Why did you want me killing him? I've never had to kill."

"Just wanted it."

"I want out," Joey said.

"Joe."

"No, I'm out Uncle Tony. Your secrets are safe with me. I will never rat you out, you know that," Joey said, starting to cry again. "I can't-I don't want to be in this world. I'm not-it's funny, when I was a kid, all I wanted was to be you. I don't...I don't want to be."

"Joey, come on. His wife and kids are better off without him."

"You don't get to make that choice. I don't get to make that choice. I can't do this. Please don't...I just wanted you to be proud of me but-"

"I am proud, kid."

Joey gave a weak smile as Tony pulled him into an embrace which caused him to cry harder. He needed to get out of there. He couldn't remain on that site. That image would haunt him. When Tony left his car, he backed out and began driving but instead of going home he went to his parents house. His mother greeted him and took him in, instructing him to shower as she made him some lasagna. He got in the shower for what felt like an eternity, scrubbing every bit of blood off him until he was practically pink. When he got out of the shower, he grabbed his dad's robe and walked out to see his sister Dina running towards him with some clothes. He took them and changed in his old bedroom. He was at a crossroads.

Walking down the stairs, he could smell his mom's cooking as he sat down. His mother handed him a box of cookies to hold him over until the lasagna was done.

"I quit," Joey said.

"What?" Gloria asked.

"The family. The Sopranos. I'll carry Tony's secrets to the grave. I don't-Ma, I watched someone die today. I've watched some scary shit and this summer, I met a girl. Really pretty, sweet….from Tulsa….Lizzie. I couldn't bring her into that world. I don't wanna-"

"I'm so proud of you."

"You are?"

"Yes. I don't want my baby in the mob. Carmela knows what he does and she's scared to death every time he leaves the house and Meadow and AJ have no clue."

"I wanna be an actor. Full time. I'll do something else for money."

"Okay. If that's what you want."

"I think I wanna go to Los Angeles," Joey said.

"What?" Gloria asked.

"After the acting class play and stuff, I'm gonna go to Los Angeles. That's where actors go, right?"

"There are actors that act here," Gloria said.

"I know but I need to get away from here. I've seen way too much shit and I can't even get hired here. I wanna be somewhere where no one knows my connections. I'll give it a year-"

"Come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas."

"I will."

"What are you gonna do about Lizzie and your place?"

"Shane will find a roommate and Lizzie will move on. I'm sure I'm just a fling to her."

"Okay," Gloria said, hugging Joey as she got up to go get the pasta.

He made his decision. He would move to Los Angeles at the end of the summer. He'd take his truck and drive cross country, figuring out how to be an actor. He needed distance between him and New York. He needed to start again.

First of course, was finishing the acting intensive. There was a play which went well followed by an afterparty. He and Lizzie were wrapped up in each other, stealing kisses and enjoying their last moments together although only he knew it would be their last moments. He still had not worked up the nerve to tell her. They were sitting on the stage and Lizzie was on his lap.

"That was amazing," Lizzie said. "This has been the best summer."

"It really has, hey tonight….you wanna spend the night?"

"Of course and….oh, Joe," Lizzie said as she kissed him again.

He knew they were probably grossing out a lot of people but he didn't really care. He really would miss her.

"Crabcakes."

Joey and Lizzie stopped kissing and noticed a girl standing there with a tray. The girl looked like Lizzie. It was super weird, like they could be twins. Except the girl had crabcakes.

"Awww, score. Crabcakes," Joey said as he jumped off the stage and grabbed some before noticing another waitress girl carrying a tray of little cakes, "Oh, wait….does that chick have cake?"

Joey walked off towards where the cakes were and took one before noticing Tony and Carmela approaching him. He had barely spoken to Tony since that day on the site. Even though it was an unspoken truce to not speak of it, it was still uncomfortable.

"Hey, you guys came," Joey said.

"Of course," Carmela said. "I can't believe you're going across the country."

"He'll be back," Tony said.

"Maybe. I'll miss you though," Joey said.

"I'll let you boys talk. I'll go find your mom," Carmela said before walking off leaving Joey and Tony in uncomfortable silence.

"I'm not a rat, just you know," Joey said.

"I know. I trust you."

"Good."

"You know, you're not a bad actor. Pretty good."

"Thanks. You still got Shane and Chris."

"Yep. I'll take care of 'em. You're still the personality," Tony said.

"Hmmm, I'll miss you Uncle T."

"I'll miss you too, kid,"Tony said as he patted him on the back.

Joey smiled as he walked off towards the lady who had the crab cakes. She was just wandering and soon he appeared in front of her.

"Hey, baby…how you doin'?" Joey asked.

"I'm good. So….so is that your girlfriend?" The girl asked.

He thought that was a bizarre question for a waitress to ask him. He almost wanted to tell her it was none of her business.

"Lizzie, please. She's just a girl. I'm not one to be tied down. Well, unless it's what you're into. You know what I mean?" Joey asked as he grabbed another crab cake.

"You're gross," the waitress said.

"Look, I'm going to Los Angeles in a few weeks. I'm just enjoying my time now."

"I'm working," the crabcake lady said as she walked off. Joey shook his head and found Lizzie sitting on the stage.

"That waitress with the crabcakes who kinda looks like you sure is crabby," Joey said which made Lizzie laugh.

"Really?" Lizzie asked.

"She's asking all these questions that are just weird. I kept wanting to tell her to mind her own business."

"What questions?"

"Just if you're my girlfriend and stuff…."

"Maybe she's flirting," Lizzie said.

"That makes sense. Hey, Liz….I should probably tell you that in a couple weeks, I'm gonna be moving to L.A.."

"I know."

"You know?"

"Kristi just asked if we were going to be doing long distance and I didn't know," Lizzie said.

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"It's okay."

"It is."

"Yeah."

"I still want to be with you tonight," Joey said.

"Me too," Lizzie said as they leaned into kiss again. They would spend the next two weeks before he left together, completely absorbed in one another. It was an amazingly intense and wonderful two weeks, wrapped up in each other's arms and making plans. It would have to be long distance, of course.

The day he left, the day he packed his Ford up with all of his belongings was a tearful one. He said goodbye to everyone. His family, the Sopranos, Christopher, Shane, Kristi, Lizzie, tears were flowing as he knew he was taking the path he needed to. He knew he had a home to return to if Los Angeles didn't fit, but he needed to see that maybe it would.

It took several weeks to drive across country to Los Angeles. He had checked into a motel and the first thing he did was call his family, then the Sopranos and then of course, Shane, Christopher and Kristi to let them all know he had made it. He would be starting his new life in Los Angeles. After a few days of staying in a motel, he found an apartment in the San Fernando Valley and he had even landed a two episode part on a sitcom that was already on the air. Things were looking up, maybe it was a sign that New York no longer his. His new place was Los Angeles.

"Although, what do I do about Lizzie?" Shane asked.

He had been in Los Angeles for a little less than two months but he was getting comfortable. He was glancing at other scripts while talking with Shane who was holding down his old apartment.

"What do you mean?" Joey asked. He had planned to keep in touch with Lizzie but the further he got from New York, the less he wanted to keep in touch with her so he didn't but apparently she was not getting the hint.

"She's called our apartment fifty times wanting to know if there's a way to reach you."

"Psycho."

"I know. I'm ready to change a our number."

"Well, you take care of it. I got a new life. I'm an Angeleno. I gotta go to work. I have a parking pass."

"Alright, I'll take care of it. We'll get her to stop calling you," Shane said.

"Good. There are some hot actresses on this show," Joey said.

Shane laughed as Joey hung up the phone and drove in that infamous Los Angeles traffic to the sitcom he was working on starring several very pretty young actresses. He was going to have fun in his new home. New York was three thousand miles away. Another life, no longer his and he would be grateful.


	9. Chapter 9

**January 1990-September 1990**

He was now officially an Angeleno. He had promised his parents that he would go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and he kept that promise. He stayed in his old apartment with Shane and hung out with his family and friends during the holidays and had even stayed for New Years. He hadn't seen Lizzie, Shane had just said they took care of it and he didn't push but once 1990 began, he was officially on his own in the City of Angels and when it came time to celebrate his twenty-second birthday, he realized he had no friends to celebrate with. It was strangely warm which was bizarre to him having spent so long being cold in January. It was the first time that his January 9th birthday was met with sixty degree weather and he wasn't sure how to deal with that. He also wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing. He had very few friends in Los Angeles. He had lucked out when he first got there because he had landed a two story arc on a sitcom but now was just going on auditions.

That was how his birthday began. It was a Tuesday and he had a few auditions but not much else planned. This didn't seem right to him. He refused to spend his birthday alone, that seemed pathetic so he decided to make a few calls. First was to a very pretty tall red head, Jamie, who was on the sitcom he had guested on. He told her the situation and she told him not to worry, she would take care of it and she did.

He still wasn't sure about driving in Los Angeles or directions. He didn't know where anything was so he was grateful when Jamie and Brooke, another co-star from that show picked him up.

"We couldn't let you spend your birthday alone," Jamie said as they drove down one crowded street after the other.

"I didn't think I should either. I don't know this town well enough to plan a party and I have no friends here," Joey said.

"You have us," Jamie said.

"Good….so why are you girls bundled up?" Joey asked, he didn't quite get that about California winters. It was sixty-five degrees, to him that was shorts weather. He wasn't sure why sixty-five meant dressing up in heavy coats.

"It's freezing," Brooke said.

"This is like beach weather where I'm from. It's ten degrees back East," Joey said.

"You're in L.A.. It's different here," Jamie said.

Joey just had to agree as he stared out the window at his new home. He was three thousand miles away from everything. The streets were wider in Los Angeles. The weather was different. Everything felt bizarre. He felt exposed, vulnerable. Uncle Tony had told him to keep his nose clean because his influence was not quite as strong in L.A., no one cared who Tony Soprano was in the City of Angelenos which gave him so many mixed emotions. While he was fine with that name not holding weight in his new home, it did make him nervous like he had to rein himself in now.

They pulled into a creepy looking lot with a red and white sign up front that said, "PARKING $20". That seemed rather excessive. A guy walked over to the car and barked the price of parking at them and Jamie and Brooke immediately dug into their purses.

"Wait, wait….twenty bucks?" Joey asked.

"Welcome to L.A.," Jamie said.

"Let me get it," Joey said, reaching into his back pocket.

"It's your birthday, no," Jamie said.

The girls paid and they parked their car. This just seemed absurd but they seemed to just go with it. Walking to the club, they stood in line while a bigger gentleman was standing by the door, holding a velvet rope and ushering people in. He wasn't sure he had ever seen this and felt very out of place. This club seemed way too trendy for him, kinda uptight. It made him miss his clubs and bars at home. He liked the gritty bars, the ones where you met people who had been through some stuff, who had stories to tell. He was pretty sure the people dancing around in this neon purple dance club would probably run the other way if they heard some of his stories.

They eventually got inside because the bouncer recognized Jamie and Brooke. Joey had also wanted to point out that he had been on their show for two episodes in a very significant role where he had dated Brooke's character but there was no time as they pulled him into the club and immediately towards a couch where there were a group of people already waiting on couches with bottles of booze, juice and cups. They had apparently gotten a VIP section for him which he was perfectly okay with.

"So dude, you're a New Yorker," a very well dressed guy sitting next to him asked as he reached to pour himself a cranberry and vodka.

"Yeah. So is there only cranberry and vodka?" Joey asked.

"I'm getting you beer….actually Brooke is at the bar now," Jamie said, running her fingers through his hair.

"Or whiskey or something," Joey said.

"We are on it," Jamie said.

"So what's your story?" the guy asked.

"Oh, yeah, James," Joey said, pulling her onto his lap, "if you're gonna have a birthday party for me with all my new friends you should probably introduce me to them."

"Oh, yeah….that'll be cool. Okay, that guy, Michael, Alex, Mallory, Justine, Christina…." Jamie went around the group and began to point everyone out and he tried to remember everyone's name but eventually gave up as Brooke soon returned with some beer and a bottle of whiskey. Joey grabbed the bottle and poured himself a glass while Brooke also made room on Joey's lap. He had both Brooke and Jamie crowded on his lap and he was quite comfortable.

"So what are you doing on this coast?" Michael asked.

"What is anyone doing here?" Jamie asked.

"Hey, wait, dude….aren't you the ketchup dude?" Alex asked.

"Yes, I am. I've been in six commercials and I was on TV101," Joey grinned.

"You know that means jack shit here, right?" Brooke asked.

"You know there are empty spots on the couch," Joey said.

"I'm just saying….your commercials are very cute," Brooke said.

"I know," Joey said.

"Wait, TV101?" Michael asked.

"Oh, wait….I know that show," A very pretty brunette who had been sitting next to Michael leaned forward. Joey recognized her immediately as the girl who played Samantha on Who's the Boss?

"Yeah, we were put up against you guys," Joey said.

"Sorry but you were also up against Roseanne and Matlock. They screwed you," the girl said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Yeah, they did," Joey said.

"I love Matlock," Michael said.

"Who doesn't?" Joey asked, sounding a little pissed.

"Clearly, you don't," Brooke said.

"You'll find something else but it's harder out here so be patient," Jamie said.

"I was on your show. Next step is an Oscar," Joey said.

"Good luck with that," Brooke said.

"Come on, let's dance," Jamie said as she stood up. Brooke did as well and they each grabbed one of Joey's hands to pull him up towards the dance floor. He loved the two women grinding up against him. The music pulsated through the darkly lit club as they wrapped themselves around him. He felt quite at home in that moment, what had he been so worried about? He had been so concerned about fitting into this new world but he really should not have been so concerned. Everything seemed to be just as it was, just on a different coast.

When closing time came, he, Brooke and Jamie finished the party in his new apartment. They all fell into each other, kissing and everything was as it should be as he could not stop smiling while the two girls had their way with him and he hoped to return the favor. The next morning, he woke up with both Jamie and Brooke cuddled up next to him. Los Angeles was going to be just fine for Joey. No worries.

Well, maybe some. His career was going nowhere. He was able to get a commercial for 7-Up which helped a little and he did a TV movie that shot for a couple months in Canada as well as a guest spot on some other show about monsters but that was about it and by May, he needed money and quickly. He was enjoying the social parts of Los Angeles and he was being social. He was out every night, he was able to make friends rather quickly that took his mind off of missing any of his old friends from home but it was the career, the acting part that was going nowhere.

"I told you, Los Angeles is different than New York," Brooke said over sushi with Jamie and Michael. This was something else that was new and he knew his buddies back home would find it hilarious but he was actually enjoying sushi. He never thought he'd enjoy eating raw fish with rice but there he was, enjoying it quite a bit.

"I know but it's impossible, I go on these auditions and nothing," Joey said. "I've now been in seven commercials."

"Yeah, I've been in eight," Michael said.

"Shut up," Joey said.

"Look right now, I'm in a show and Brooke and Jamie are in a show but once those shows are over….who knows?" Michael asked.

"Great but I need rent money and they're gonna start turning off things soon," Joey said.

"You know, I have an idea. You may think I'm crazy and whatever but give it a try. I mean, I did it when I first got here. So did Brooke….it's kinda fun," Jamie said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"Disneyland. Be a Disney character," Jamie said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"Oh, that was fun. I liked doing that. I got to be Cinderella," Brooke said.

"I got to be Snow White although I bet I would make an awesome Ariel," Jamie said.

"I've never even been to Disneyland...I don't-"

"Give it a shot, I know some people. I can get you in," Jamie said.

"But I was in seven comm-"

"No one cares," Michael, Jamie and Brooke said together. Joey let out a loud sigh as he knew he was running out of choices so he very reluctantly drove all the way to Disneyland and got the part as a guy working Main Street. He had to wear a ridiculous outfit and help keep the park clean. He truly hated every single moment of it. It was an awful job, one he would tell no one back home that he was doing. The only saving grace were the Disney Princesses. Despite the fact that he would often get reprimanded for venturing out of Main Street to go socialize, he did it anyway. The job was boring and ridiculous and he felt embarrassed that he had to do it and as the weather got hotter and hotter, he was even more pissed. He was practically sweating in his top hat and red and white striped suit as he was walking around, smiling feeling like an idiot.

By August, he was shocked that he had not been fired yet. He still had gotten no auditions but had taken tons of pictures with small kids with very sticky fingers. His clothes smelled and he had had enough but he needed the money.

He decided to take a break, he wasn't really sure if it was his break time but he decided to take one anyway. He began walking towards Space Mountain where he saw Snow White talking with some weird looking college kid who looked really nervous. That was funny to him. Snow White, or Dana as her real name was, had become a good friend of his in the three months he had been working there. Dana would often complain about the ridiculous amount of college-aged boys and also old perverts who would hit on her. The guy currently standing with Dana did not look like an old pervert but more like a strange college kid.

"Hey, baby. How you doin'?" Joey asked Dana who was dressed as Snow White. He put his arm around her as the college kid looked at them stunned. He was taller than Joey with weird looking hair. Joey looked around and noticed a group of three boys standing in line at Space Mountain and staring straight at them. He wondered if there was some sort of bet or something going on.

"Joey, you're not supposed to be here," Dana said.

"I'm on break and I'll be wherever you are, baby," Joey said.

"Oh, Joey," Dana giggled as Joey led her off. They began walking towards one of the changing rooms. As they entered one of the rooms, he kissed her and she kissed back.

"So did I save you?" Joey asked.

"He wasn't that bad. He was kinda awkward and cute actually."

"Really?"

"You know, if you hadn't swooped in….I might have given him my number. He wasn't bad looking."

"Stick with me, it'll be better," Joey said as they continued kissing. The moment between them was getting more and more intense. This was a good perk of working at Disneyland.

"Hmmm, Joey," Dana moaned as he gently pinned her up against the lockers and lifted her up so that he could feel her even more. They were quickly interrupted by a loud grunting.

"Tribbiani," a loud angry voice that sounded like a bucket of freezing cold water stopped them.

"Oh my G-d," Dana said as they looked to see a tall, angry looking guy glaring at them.

"I'm on break, Roger," Joey said. Roger was their manager.

"I don't give a shit. Speaking of shit, there's some college kid who shit all over Space Mountain, go clean it up Tribbiani," Roger said, tossing him a rag.

"Fuck no, that's not my job," Joey said.

"I don't care. If you wanna keep your job, do it and Dana, go clean up and I want you out there greeting the guests," Roger said.

"I will, I'm sorry," Dana said, walking off towards a private bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

"You can do better than Snow White. You know she's hooking up with the Dwarves," Roger said.

"Which one?"

"Does it matter?' Roger asked. "Go clean Space Mountain."

"I-fuck-I wish I had money to pay my rent. You know, I've been in eight commercials and several television shows."

"I was a stand in for Brando in the Godfather," Roger said.

"Really?"

"Get the fuck out of here," Roger said.

Joey let out a groan as he walked towards the park when Roger suddenly stopped him.

"What?" Joey asked.

"You're not gonna wear your costume?" Roger asked.

"I'm related to Tony Soprano."

"Who?"

Joey let out an annoyed sigh, so desperately not wanting to punch this guy in the mouth. He needed the money. He walked back to his locker, opened it and grabbed another "costume". It was the costume they wanted him to wear when they needed him to clean stuff up. He hated this one almost as much as his Main Street attire. Khakis and a pink shirt and he felt like he should be playing golf, he hated every part of this job and now he was going to have to clean up shit off a ride?

When he got to Space Mountain, there was already a group surrounding the ride. He heard two guys laughing and noticed one tall looking dude sitting frozen in one of the seats, staring straight ahead. He also noticed the guy who had been hitting on Dana, looking very concerned. Joey stared at the dude still sitting in what Joey could just assume was a pile of crap. He knew that smell. When he had gotten that guy into Tony's car and Christopher or Shane had shot into the seats, the guy had freaked. That smell. He kinda wished Tony or Christopher or Shane were there now. They could take care of it. Joey motioned for the frozen dude to get out of the ride. The tall guy slowly got up which made it more obvious.

"Oh, dude we gotta lay out papers for you. You crapped all over Space Mountain," one of the guys laughed.

"I-I wanna go home. I'm gonna..." The tall dude said before running off.

"Dude, you gotta potty train your friend," Joey yelled towards the group of friends as he grabbed a bucket and a towel. The guy who had been hitting on Dana ran off leaving the two other guys who were making fun of the tall dude, Joey wasn't listening. He didn't care. He wanted out. He was finished. Yeah, they could call him arrogant but he was an actor and he had a resume. Los Angeles had been fun but this was not home. He would not have to do this crap at home, other people did it.

When he was done, he walked towards Roger who was staring at him. Joey shoved the crap filled rag at Roger and told him quite simply, that he quit. He cleared out his locker, got in his truck and drove to his apartment. He now had no job and no way of getting back home. He had barely made enough and the thought that he might have to sell his truck in order to get a ticket home filled him with dread. He loved that truck but his desire to go home was overriding his desire to keep his truck.

As soon as he got home, he picked up the phone and dialed his old apartment. He was so thrilled when Shane picked up. He immediately launched into everything that had happened.

"So you coming home, man?" Shane asked.

"Yeah. May have to sell the truck though."

"Why?"

"I don't have enough money for a ticket."

"That sucks."

"Yep. So how are things back home?" Joey asked. "I feel out of the loop."

"Good, good. Remember that girl, Lizzie?"

"Is she still calling?"

"No, no….we did take care of it. She hasn't called since last September, October."

"Perfect. Some girls just can't take a hint. Did you ever figure out why she called that much?"

"Does it matter? Probably nothing important. You know how girls are."

"Totally. How are you?"

"Good, good. You know I've kinda left the family. Tony and Christopher, leaving them all behind," Shane said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I met a girl. Really sweet. You'll like her. Her name is Becca and she's really cute and….I-you wanna know something else? I'm thinking of going to school. College. I think I wanna be a drug counselor. I mean, come on, I've been clean and sober for three years and I wanna….I was talking to Becca about that and she's gonna be a psychologist."

"You sound happy, Shane."

"I am. Shocking. I was even gonna like start apologizing to people. I kinda wanna find that kid I beat up….the one that got me expelled? I want to apologize to him."

"Can you track him down?"

"I don't know. I don't even think I know his name."

"Don't worry about it, sure he's forgotten."

"Yeah. Probably right."

"So I will probably will have to fly out so can you pick me up at JFK?"

"Definitely. Let me know when and you'll meet Becca. I swear, I've never met any girl like this ever. She's...she's perfect."

"Good G-d, Shane. Get a grip."

"I do. On her. Call me when you get everything together. Welcome home, man."

"Thanks," Joey said as he hung up the phone and looked around his tiny Los Angeles apartment. He was ready to go home. His last week in Los Angeles was a flurry of activity. That night Dana had visited him to complain about Roger and what had happened at Disney with that kid and they enjoyed one last night together. After that came phone calls and, unfortunately, selling the truck in order to get enough money for a plane ticket. He packed up everything, said goodbye to his Los Angeles life and flew across the country to New York. It just felt right.

What didn't feel right was the waiting. He had told Shane when he was getting into JFK and he was expecting to be picked up. He kept calling and calling, wondering where his friend was as he waited. Shane knew when he was coming in and Joey was getting more and more pissed off.

"Hello?" came an unknown voice at the other end of the line. He had been waiting and calling for close to two hours when soon someone answered. Someone unknown.

"Who is this?" Joey asked.

"Who is this?" Came the voice.

"Is Shane there?"

"Who is this?"

"Joey Tribbiani, Shane's roommate. Where the hell is he? I've been at the airport for almost two hours. Fucking ridiculous."

"This is Detective Kenda. NYPD. You may want to come home."

"Wait, what? What's going on?"

"Take a cab back. We'll explain it when you get here," Detective Kenda said before hanging up. Joey stared at the phone and his heart dropped to his stomach. Something seemed off. His palms began to get a little sweaty as he was in a daze as he got his stuff, hailed a cab and took it to his place. His home which was now surrounded with yellow police tape. He watched as a couple paramedics were walking out with a stretcher and body bag. He ran towards the ambulance when he was suddenly stopped by a cop. He couldn't hear anything, just he knew his friend was there. Shane was dead. A drug overdose but he wasn't sure how. Shane had been clean. He had plans. As he was held back, he felt someone touch his arm. He turned and noticed a tiny curly-haired blonde standing next to him with tears in her eyes.

"Are you Joey?"

"Are you Becca?" He asked.

"Yes. I'm sorry...I-"

"What the hell happened?"

"I don't know. I-he-I came by because we were gonna pick you up from the airport and I found him with a needle in his arm and-"

"He was clean….and happy. I spoke to him like last week. What the hell happened?"

"I don't know. You know, he was hanging out with this guy."

"What guy?"

"Christopher. They had a falling out, I think…like seven months ago about something and then they just reconnected. I don't know but-"

"Christopher?" Joey asked, holding back his anger.

"Yeah."

"I'll be right back," Joey said as he backed up and noticed the cab that had dropped him off was still waiting for him. He hopped back in and took it towards where he knew Tony's newest site was. Once there, he got out and walked into a trailer where he saw Christopher sitting across from Tony, talking.

"Whoa, you're back, kid," Tony said but Joey wasn't listening as he grabbed Christopher by the collar and threw him out of the chair and onto the floor.

"What the fuck, man," Christopher said, struggling to stand up. Joey lunged towards him as Tony jumped to hold him back.

"What's the-" Tony tried but Joey was furious. He wanted to kill Christopher, wanted to punch him, knock him out.

"Shane's dead. He was supposed to pick me up from the airport and he's dead. He's fucking dead, what the hell did you do you fucking piece of shit," Joey said.

"I did nothing. Hey, you were the motherfucker who thought you were too good for this place. Don't fuck with me," Christopher said.

"His girlfriend said you guys had a falling out and then just reconnected. He was clean and was gonna go to college and crap and his girlfriend finds him dead with a needle in his arm," Joey said.

"It's addiction, man. I don't have control over it," Christopher said.

"I'm gonna punch you in the throat," Joey said.

"You're not gonna do that. Listen, you wanted out, right?" Tony asked.

"Yeah."

"You missed a lot."

"You gonna tell me what I missed?" Joey asked.

"No. Welcome home, kid," Tony said.

Tony let go of Joey as he tried to catch his breath. He had just gotten home and now his friend was dead. Sure, he thought Shane was an asshole but he seemed happy during that last phone call. He seemed like everything was going well but maybe it hadn't and no one was telling him a thing and now he had to bury his best friend. He had known Shane for so long and it pained him even more to plan that funeral. Shane had no family. He could not track down Shane's parents or anyone related to him. The only people there were his new girlfriend, Becca, Tony, Carmela, Christopher, Kristi and Joey's family. Joey's parents and his sisters only came because he had begged them to. Becca was the only one who was crying.

"This is so sad," Gina whispered as they sat side by side during the funeral.

"Yeah, real sad. Something happened," Joey said.

"I don't know what happened," Gina said.

Joey let out a sigh as the funeral continued. He had barely had time to even think as his plane landed. He was staying with his parents but wanted to move out and he had been the one to plan the whole funeral because no one else really wanted to and he didn't want his friend to be buried in some unmarked grave.

"I let him down," Joey said. "He was family, you know, and we let him down. I'm not gonna do that again. I promise, Shane. If I have another friend who struggles with this, I'm not letting him fall."

Gina smiled as she squeezed his hand. He was so torn and felt so lost. He wasn't even thinking about his career or anything at that moment. He felt like he should never have left New York in the first place. If he hadn't left New York, maybe Shane would still be here. Maybe he could have kept a better eye on him.

By September, he was staying with one of Kristi's friends. A model named, Kendall. Kendall was from some big family and she lived in a beautiful apartment that she had let Joey stay in. Kristi was staying as well. Kendall was walking in New York Fashion Week and was begging Kristi and Joey to come with her, especially to the after party. Joey wasn't sure at first but Kristi talked him into it, thinking he needed to leave the apartment.

It was a fine show but he did like the after party which was in a huge loft. There were models there and other very attractive people. Shane would have had fun, he knew that.

"I don't know if I should be here," Joey said.

"I know, but it's good. You're back and you gotta get back into the swing of things," Kristi said.

"Yeah, I'm gonna get a drink," Joey said as he walked towards the bar and noticed a cute brunette standing there sipping her champagne as she was staring ahead at something. She seemed to be enjoying whatever she was watching, smiling. She was very pretty, too short to be a model but still cute.

"Hey...how you doin'?"

"I'm good. How are you?" The girl asked.

"I'm Joey."

"I'm Rachel."

"I'm an actor."

"I'm a student."

"High school?"

"College."

"How old?"

"Twenty."

"Good," Joey said.

"So you're an actor?"

"I just came back from Los Angeles. I worked at Disney."

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, I got back at the end of the summer…..so, are you here with anyone?"

"Yeah, my boyfriend's brother."

"Oh...well, if your boyfriend isn't here."

"Wow, you are very persistent," Rachel said.

"You don't know the half of it, baby."

"Hmmm," Rachel said, taking a sip of her champagne. "I'm gonna go find my friend."

He had pushed too far. She seemed rather annoyed by him and also a bit of a challenge. Maybe he could change her mind, that would make him happy.

"Wait, wait….I'm sorry. You know, it's been a difficult couple of weeks coming back from Los Angeles. My buddy, Shane, passed away."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah….so I apologize if I'm coming off too strong," Joey said.

"You're not. You're fine."

"You alright here?" A tallish guy asked as he put his arm around Rachel. Rachel smiled at the guy and Joey wondered if this was the boyfriend's brother.

"Yeah, this is Joey. He just came back from Los Angeles. He worked at Disney."

"Oh, sexy….were you a costumed character?" The guy asked.

"I bet you'd make a hot Dwarf," Rachel said.

"Dopey?" The guy asked.

"Grumpy," Rachel said.

"Sneezy," The guy said.

Rachel giggled as the guy led her off to another part of the room. Joey let out a snort as Kristi approached him.

"So?" Kristi asked.

"Bitch," Joey said.

"What?"

"I thought that girl could be a challenge and it would make me feel a little better but what a fucking bitch," Joey said, taking a sip of his champagne. Kristi started to laugh as she too grabbed a glass. The two friends clicked their glasses together as if to solidify their point.

"So how are you doing, Joe?" Kristi asked.

"I don't know. I haven't even had time to process everything. I cleaned up some shit on Space Mountain and then came and my friend was dead and….I liked the guy, you know. Yeah, he was an ass but….he was...he was my friend and that funeral-"

"That was depressing and not just because it was a funeral. Do you think his parents even know?"

"I don't know. So what's going on with you, Kris?"

"Well...actually, I've gotten back into dancing."

"Really? Great."

"At Scores."

"Scores?"

"The strip club."

"Kristi," Joey said.

"Don't judge me, please. It's just for extra cash. I-I've been trying this acting thing and I've been getting nowhere and I don't wanna be in an office. I'm dancing. Please...it's only temporary."

"I don't know."

"Come on, you love strippers."

"I do but…."

"Joey, let's….can we talk about this later. Please. I think we both deserve a night off," Kristi said.

"Yeah," Joey said as Kristi pulled his hand and the two walked across the room behind Rachel and her friend as they were having their picture taken. Joey and Kristi looked up as the flash went off and when the guy lowered his camera, Kristi and Joey grinned at each other while flipping both Rachel and her friend off behind their backs before heading towards some couches, giggling. For that moment, it was nice. It was a break from the drama that he would have to work on the next day and the day after that.


	10. Chapter 10

**January 1991-August 1991**

Spending his twenty third birthday behind bars was not how he pictured the night going. He had borrowed Tony's Lincoln to go out on the town for his birthday. Christopher and Kristi had been with him, as had his sister Cookie who was now hooking up with Christopher. There has been alcohol. A lot of alcohol. There were drugs in the car which ended with that familiar slap of handcuffs. The drugs were not his, he knew that but he knew he was drunk. He knew he should not have been driving when he swerved into the tree, he was banged up. Bandages on his face. It was dark and he was in hell. He tried to sleep but all he could hear were other prisoners crying in their beds.

"Hey, Tribbiani," a cop yelled as he opened up the cage he was in. Joey looked up as he was motioned out of the jail. He walked out and saw Tony waiting for him, grinning at him like he was about to devour him. Tony said nothing as he placed his arm around Joey and led him out towards another one of Tony's cars. Joey sat silently in the passenger's seat as Tony began driving off. Joey tried to pay attention to where they were going. It was dark and his head hurt, he wasn't sure the time although he wasn't sure it mattered. It soon became apparent that he wasn't being taken home.

"Are you going to kill me?" Joey asked.

"Don't be a shit. You're working for me now."

"I'm not working for you."

"That's not an option. I've saved your ass three times."

"The drugs weren't mine."

"I know."

Tony soon turned onto an empty lot. Once he got out of the car, Joey followed. Tony soon threw a hard hat at him and and instructed him to to work on some sort of table.

"You know, I'm shooting a music video. I'm still acting," Joey said as if trying to prove something.

"Not right now you're not. Hammer," Tony said before walking away. Joey's head felt like someone had taken a hammer to it. He wanted to throw up. It was freezing and it made him miss the California winters. He was still wearing his clothing from the previous night and as the snow began fluttering down on him, his skin seemed to be turning a light shade of blue. He spent the entire day drilling and hammering in the snow. Tony barely spoke to him which was fine. Joey didn't have much to say anyway.

He worked from the time the sun rose up to the time the sun fell back down and finally he could go home around 6pm. After getting cash from Tony, he was back on the train headed towards his home. He made a quick stop to get two large pizzas for himself and walked back into the large apartment to see Kendall and Kristi sitting at a table sipping wine and talking. As he walked in, Kristi ran to him and hugged him before stepping back.

"You smell horrible," Kristi said.

"I know."

"Where have you been?" Kristi asked.

"Jail and working all day for Tony," Joey said.

"You brought us pizza?" Kendall asked.

"No," Joey said, sounding confused.

"Wait….so you got two pizzas….for yourself," Kristi said.

"Yep," Joey said.

"You gonna share?" Kristi asked.

"Nope," Joey said, walking towards the table and sitting down, "I've barely slept or eaten in twenty four hours. This is all mine, get your own damn pizza."

"I'll order some. It's the least I can do," Kendall said.

"Thanks….by the way, Joey. We have to move," Kristi said.

"What?" Joey asked.

They had been living in Kendall's apartment for four months. It had been fun, they had done the holidays together. There had been wild parties and it had been enjoyable. He had planned on living there.

"I've moving back to Los Angeles. Look, I'm barely here because I'm always traveling and this apartment is so expensive and you guys live here rent free and….and it's just…my parents have been hearing rumors about all the parties and I'm not even here for them. I was in Paris during New Years and apparently you had a crazy night," Kendall said as she reached for the phone and opened a junk drawer filled with menus.

"Joey had sex in your bathtub with your friend, Selena," Kristi said.

"Snitch," Joey said.

"I don't want this place to become a party center and I'm gonna sell it-"

"We could live here," Joey said.

"You have ninety grand a month to spend?" Kristi asked.

"Are you fucking with me?" Joey asked.

"No, it's ninety grand a month and I'm paying it all and….I'm here for probably one to two months out of the year and after New York Fashion Week, I was basically gone for four months and all you did was have parties and I'm so happy to have you guys here but I paid and also there were drugs here-" Kendall tried.

"They weren't mine," Joey said.

"I know but your friend Christopher was here a lot….right? I just kept hearing these stories about ragers going on here. The vase in my bedroom was forty grand and a housewarming gift from my sisters and apparently your Halloween party got so out of control that it shattered. I hear the stories and I'm really sorry," Kendall said. "I can't have you guys live here anymore. I keep getting these complaints, one after the other."

The headache returned as he opened his pizza while Kendall ordered pizza for herself and Kristi. 1990 ended badly and 1991 was getting off to an even worse start. He now needed a place to stay. He knew staying in Kendall's apartment was only temporary but it still irritated him that he was being kicked out. 1991 was sucking and every part of 1991 was sucking. He was twenty three, arrested three times and now was was homeless.

That night, after polishing off two boxes of pizza and showering, he crawled into bed wondering exactly what it was he could be doing next. Wondering where his life was going wrong. Soon he felt someone crawl in with him, he smiled as he looked over at Kristi who was making herself comfortable in his bed.

"I never thought I'd say this, but not in the mood," Joey said.

"Not having sex. Just wanted to check in. You knew she would probably kick us out, eventually, right? I mean, Halloween? We practically destroyed her place and then the Christmas parties and….New Years….do you blame her? It's been a fun four months. "

"I guess. I'm gonna be in some music videos...I don't know, I can't work for Tony. I can't-"

"I know."

The next day, the music video took all day to shoot. He seemed to have landed three of them in short succession which meant two weeks away from Tony. They all had him play the same type. In one he was a player, trying to get back with the lead singer, the second he was getting a tattoo and the final one, he was a motorcycle guy. He seemed to have a type. It was on that final one where he got word of an audition that would take him back across the country to Los Angeles to audition for a role in a sitcom that was already on the air. He would play the dumb, musclehead boyfriend of the slutty lead character. He needed the part, he needed to leave and he had no place to stay anyway. He auditioned in New York and was a little stunned when he got it. It would mean a month in Los Angeles. He had to break it to Tony.

"I want you working here. You owe me. You wrapped my car around a tree," Tony said when he finally got the nerve to break the news.

"You have other cars. I'm sorry and I am forever grateful-"

"You should be in prison. You would be if it wasn't for me."

"I know. Please, it's a month. I have no place to stay anyway and I have a couple friends that I made in Los Angeles who are letting me crash on their couch."

"Okay….fine," Tony said. "You know, if you were any other person I'd break your neck."

"I know."

Tony let out an annoyed sigh as Joey left that day, determined. He would not come back. He would make changes. Big changes. He landed back in Los Angeles right around Valentine's Day. He took a cab to Jamie's apartment. Jamie's show had been cancelled and when he arrived at her place, he saw a note attached to her door letting him know she'd be right back.

"Damn," he muttered, looking at the note feeling annoyed.

"Are you Joey?"

Joey jumped and turned to see a very attractive blonde standing there in her doorway. He noticed behind her was a brunette.

"Yeah."

"I'm Taylor. Jamie said you'd be stopping by, she had a last minute audition so come on in. You want lemonade."

"Yeah," Joey grinned as he walked in.

"I'm Olivia," the brunette said.

"Hi."

"So, you must have traveled a long way," Olivia said.

"New York," Joey said.

"So far," Olivia said.

He grinned as soon the lemonade quickly turned into something else. He wasn't even sure if Taylor had even made lemonade but before he was aware of anything, he was soon lying in bed with both Taylor and Olivia curled up next him. This was going to be a fun month. He crashed on Jamie's couch and when he wasn't working on the set of Married, he was having "lemonade" with Taylor and Olivia and sometimes Jamie. January of 1991 may have sucked but February was a game changer and it felt like March might end up doing just the same.

"So, I have news," Cassie Appleton grinned at him over lunch in the studio commissary. He was nearing the end of his run on Cassie's show playing her boyfriend. Cassie's character was supposed to be a bit slutty but Cassie was the opposite although the fact that she was currently sitting across from him wearing a tube top that barely covered her and skirt so small that it looked like it would be short for a five year old did little to squash that rumor.

"You'll go out with me for real?"

"No and I have a boyfriend."

"Oh, yeah….what's his name? Nine."

"Nuno."

"You're just saying words."

"And even if I didn't have a boyfriend….I still wouldn't go out with you for real."

"I'm hurt. Why?"

"I don't date players. Only my character dates players. Me? I'd rather kicked in the head."

"That's pleasant. Is Nine-"

"Nuno-"

"I don't care. Isn't he a musician? Isn't that like part of their job description? When I did the three music videos-"

"I will never date you but….and this is my news….Kelsey," Cassie said referring to her character's name,"might continue dating Vince."

Vince was the character he was playing. Joey cocked his head to the side and stared at her. He wasn't sure what she was getting at.

"What?"

"They're thinking of doing a spin off for Vince. I heard a rumor."

"Seriously?"

"So Kelsey and Vince might still date."

A spin off? He liked the character. He was kind of a meathead and was fun to play. He could actually now star in his own show? That could work. Maybe this could possibly be the break he wanted. It would have to mean he would officially have to live in Los Angeles but that was fine if it meant that he could be the star of his own show.

It happened so quickly. Cassie was correct in what she was hearing. Joey's character was getting a chance for his own show. It would be called, "Up on Top" and would star himself and another actor named Charlie Salami which he thought was awesome and of course made him think of sandwiches. Charlie would be playing Joey's dad and seemed nice enough. The fact that he was getting another chance to be on television just meant everything. He could win an Emmy maybe? He would most certainly be a star. He got to work fast and he was thrilled that Jamie let him remain on her couch. She didn't even tell him he needed to pay rent. It was perfect but just as it began, it ended. They did seven episodes that aired in April and by the middle of May, he was once again out of a job. Sure he had to admit the script was bad, it was awful. But he had told everyone about the show, he had even had a party to watch it but before he knew it, it was back to New York. Jamie would only let him stay if he began paying rent and he felt defeated. He hated that that this was his second television show to be cancelled and he thought it would be a sure thing. Cassie's show was hit and so why wouldn't it produce more hits? It made no sense. He returned back to New York, unemployed and once again with nowhere to live.

"I thought for sure this would be it," He complained over Chinese food sitting on the floor of Kristi's studio apartment in Brooklyn. It was above a beauty supply place and according to her was only $700 a month but it was way too small for more than one person to live.

"Well, the show sucked," Kristi said.

"It did not suck."

"It kinda did. Well, it's not over. You can find a place here. This is an awesome building."

"I was on a television show."

"Well, you're not now."

"This sucks," Joey said.

"I have another option."

"What?"

"Well, this dancer at the club I work at does adult movies-"

"Porn?"

"Adult movies."

"She does porn. I don't want to do porn. You know, why aren't you acting? Didn't you want to be an actress? I started this career path because you forced me into it and now you're a stripper wanting me to do porn."

"I'm a dancer."

"On a pole."

"Don't get angry at me Joey. It's really hard out there."

"I know. I have no place to stay and I-"

"What about the money you made from those television shows and-and-don't you have it somewhere? The music videos, the commercials? What happened to your money?"

"It was spent on stuff."

"What stuff?"

"The only money I had was from the television shows and you know….I don't know...it's-I had to buy a plane ticket and….hey, back to you...are you auditioning? What have you auditioned for-"

"Well, stuff. Hey, this isn't about me."

He wanted to talk about Kristi. He was sick of talking about himself.

"No, you gave up," Joey said.

"I didn't give up."

"Yeah, you did. I'm not giving up. I may have no home or money but I'm not giving up and I'm not doing porn and I'm not gonna work for Tony," Joey said.

"I know and I did not give up."

"When was the last time you auditioned for something?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does."

"I don't….Joey, you don't get it."

"What don't I get?" Joey asked.

"It's hard….harder. You're hot and you're a type….hot and dumb."

"Gee, thanks."

"Everyone knows it takes a smart person to play dumb well."

"If you come with me to an audition, there are twenty guys there that look like me."

"It's harder for women. It's….when you were Los Angeles, the first time. When you worked at Disney….I never told you this," Kristi said, taking a deep breath and placing her carton of chow mein on the ground. "I had several auditions and the casting directors….there was one...have you ever heard of the casting couch."

"Like the couches in casting offices? Yeah."

"No, Joe….sometimes...I've been offered sex in favor of a job. One of those casting directors….he...he promised and he...locked the door of his office and-" Kristi said.

Joey put down his food and looked at her as her eyes were filled with tears. She could barely talk as she began to cry.

"He touched me, Joe. He wouldn't let me leave the room and he got on top of me and he wouldn't top. He did….that...he...and he still didn't give me the part and...I tried to forget and I went on a few more auditions and all I got was rejected because this guy is powerful. He said something, I don't know. But he..."

Joey got up, feeling like he needed to wring someone's neck. He wanted to punch someone, a person.

"Who is he?" Joey asked.

"No, no, Joey….no," Kristi said.

"Tell me his name," Joey said.

"Don't make any calls. Don't touch him, don't….come on."

"Tell me who it is….there are ways I can find out."

"Warren Fink. Please, please promise you're not gonna do anything. It doesn't matter," Kristi said, crying as she grabbed his arm.

"It does matter."

"No, please promise me," Kristi said.

"Fine, I promise," Joey said as he hugged her but he could not keep that promise. He could not let someone hurt Kristi like that. This girl meant everything to him. This was his best friend. He had let Shane down and had not tried to save him. He needed to save Kristi.

He made a visit to Tony who immediately put the plan into action. Joey refused to be the one to drive though, and Tony reluctantly okayed Joey not going in on this hit. He wouldn't tell Kristi. She'd find out. It took a couple weeks but soon the hit happened and the news broke that a casting director was missing and soon his body was discovered in in a wooded area. Joey was still staying with Kristi as they watched the news around a tiny television. Kristi kept staring at him.

"Get out of my apartment," she said.

"What? He's-"

"Oh come on, I'm not an idiot."

"Kristi, I couldn't….you mean a lot to me and that-"

"I don't….I'm not meant to be an actress. Please, just….let me root you on. It'll be more fun for me and you need to find another place to stay."

"Well, now you can go back and audition."

"No. Joey….I don't-I like what I'm doing-"

"I have connections, I can get you something," Joey said.

"What connections? You've had two failed television shows."

"I just want you to be by my side and we can…"

"Let me do this, please?" Kristi asked. "You promised you wouldn't do anything. You told Tony, right? He took care of it."

"Yeah."

"What life do you want Joe? 'Cause if you wanna be an actor, maybe stop orchestrating hits."

"You can stop taking off your top/"

"Leave," Kristi said.

"Where would I go?" Joey asked.

"Anywhere but here."

Joey scrambled to get up and made his way out the door and soon was outside in the streets of Brooklyn. He was lost, no clue where he was going. He didn't want to go home. He walked towards the Social Club which was down the street and walked in. It was a seedy bar, dark and smelled of old shoe. It was already starting to warm up as summer was around the corner. 1991 was sucking. He had such high hopes for 1991, especially after what had happened with the show. He had been the star of his own show. It was a big deal. It ended before it started. Nothing was getting better, he had never really felt alone before but he really did in that moment. He ordered himself a whiskey and drank it. He drank another one. He wanted to not feel anything at that moment. He kept drinking when a girl wearing a glittery top sat next to him.

"Hey, how you doin'?" He asked.

She smiled as she took her drink. He didn't know this girl's name. He didn't know where she was from or what her story was but it didn't matter. He reached over and touched her hand.

"You know, you're sweet. Don't go yet."

"I really should-"

"No, not yet baby. I'm alone. Come on," Joey said, slurring a little.

"No," the girl said as Joey grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him. She was trying to move away but he couldn't be alone, he didn't want to be alone so he kept trying when suddenly he felt someone pull him back. He looked back and noticed a bigger guy had pulled him away and Joey felt angry. All he wanted was to be with someone, he wanted to have someone get him and without thinking rammed into the big guy who shoved Joey to the ground. Joey could feel the blows as he tried to fight back but when he felt a sharp pain in his side, he knew the worst had happened. He'd been stabbed. He fell to the ground as the fighting continued. He could feel blood pouring out of him as the commotion was around him. Soon all he heard was noise in the dark. Loud, pounding noises.

He woke up in a hospital, every single part of him hurt. He let out a groan as he noticed he wasn't alone. His mom and dad were there, all of his sisters, everyone crowded into his room. When his eyes opened, his mom immediately rushed to his side, holding him, kissing him. It hurt but he didn't want to stop.

"Good news, they're not pressing charges," Tony said as he walked into the hospital room.

"What?" Joey asked, groaning.

"Assault, battery-" Tony said.

"Can we press charges? The knife almost pierced an artery," Gloria said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"I wouldn't. Hey, you're up. I fought another one of your battles, asshole," Tony said.

"Thank you," Joey said.

"Why are you such an ass?" Cookie asked.

"I'm not ass," Joey said.

"Not now, Cookie," Gloria said.

"Did it hurt when they stabbed you?" Dina asked. He noticed Dina, Meadow, Michael and AJ were there and that kind of pissed him off again. They were kids, they didn't need to be there.

"It didn't feel good," Joey said.

"You know, Tony, I was thinking…..next time, don't save him," Joseph Senior said.

Joey looked at his dad. His mind was still so clouded but his father looked pissed off. He was still trying so hard to comprehend what had happened that night. He had been stabbed. He had been in a fight. He wasn't sure what he looked like but he was pretty sure it was bad.

"No, no, honey-"

"No, Gloria. He could have been arrested again and this would have been what? Arrest number four? You wanna fuck up your life, fine. Don't take the rest of us with you," Joseph Senior said.

"Dad." Joey said, still sounding groggy.

"Maybe we shouldn't discuss this now," Gina said.

"When can we? He's twenty three year years old and he has criminal record," Joseph Senior said.

"No, he doesn't. I made sure that was taken care of," Tony said.

"Thanks Tony," Joseph Senior said, "maybe you shouldn't have done that."

"Honey, you've got to get it together," Gloria said, running her fingers through his hair.

He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say but he knew he felt awful and when he finally got a chance to look at himself, he knew he looked awful. His eyes were blackened and purple and his lips were cut and swollen. His ribs hurt, and every single part of him ached. As the days went by, he relaxed in the hospital bed and thought more about his life. Kristi finally visited him a few days into his hospital stay.

"Kris," Joey said as she walked in.

"You're an ass," Kristi said.

"I know."

"So, I got a call. I guess you gave her my number. I don't know why but Cassie Appleton from Married called me and I was very excited and after I told her what a fan I was, she wanted you to call her. Immediately. Apparently, your spin off show isn't dead yet. She wants to give you the number of the producers so you can talk to them. The show has been reworked and is now called Vince and Bob."

"I get another shot?"

"Yeah. Fucking unbelievable. How do you manage to get one shot after the other?"

"Lucky? But Kristi, I'm sorry."

"I know."

"Come with me."

"Where?"

"To L.A.. If I'm going to back and I do….I want to see what's happening, come with me. We can get a cheap two bedroom apartment and then you can audition. If my name is in the title, I could probably get you on it. Just don't give up yet. I'm not."

Kristi shook her head and leaned in to kiss him. It still hurt a little but it felt strangely nice. He wanted Kristi with him at least to help him. He felt she could probably use just as much of a break from New York as he did so as soon as he got out of the hospital, he and Kristi flew to Los Angeles. They found a cheap apartment near a studio that did adult films in the valley and went to work on Vince and Bob. Kristi did manage to a role on the show. She played a character named, Misti. It would be a new start for both of them. Maybe this time, his stay in Los Angeles would last a bit longer.


	11. Chapter 11

So, I skipped ahead to 1993 because I needed to speed stuff up and besides I think I've covered Joey's crazy past! He's the last story by the way, so which one of the six did you enjoy the most-pre-Friends? I'm still thinking I need to re-edit Phoebe and Chandler's or something. Not sure. In this one though, those of you who've Rachel and Ross'...you might want to read the end especially.

Also, hopefully, more than two of you are reading! Please review!

 **January 1993-June 1993**

Vince and Bob aired in the September of 1991 and was quickly cancelled after seven episodes which caused the longest dry spell ever for Joey. There were two bit parts in the beginning of 1992 but he barely worked, going from one couch to the next. Working on job sites for Tony and not doing much. He seemed to be completely unhirable. His drinking began increasing as well and there didn't seem to be anything for him to do. He was bored and irritated. He would sleep late and go out late and by the time his twenty fifth birthday arrived in January of 1993, he had not landed a single acting job in about a year. His family decided to throw one their old legendary parties which had people in the streets, dancing, partying, drinking. He sat on the couch nursing a beer and not feeling very much like celebrating.

"What's going on? You're twenty five, celebrate," Kristi said plopping down next to him.

"I haven't gotten a single acting job in twelve months. I have no money and no place to live. I'm twenty five-"

"And also still working for Tony."

"Well, he's the only one who will hire me."

"I have a job for you. It's acting," Kristi said.

"Kris…."

After Vince and Bob got cancelled, Kristi immediately went back to dancing at the strip club which he hated but she decided she loved. She was also dabbling in some other more adult films and kept trying to get Joey on board but he wasn't sure yet. He wasn't sure he wanted to go that route. Acting in porn felt like he was giving up.

"What's wrong with Adult Entertainment?" Kristi asked.

"I was a television star."

"You were in three failed sitcoms. Two of them didn't even make it past seven episodes."

"All the commercials-"

"Yeah, but they're not airing anymore."

"If I do this, I'm not going to be taken seriously as an actor."

"Wait, so you don't think I'll be taken seriously as an actor? I like what I'm doing, Joey. Yes, Vince and Bob was fun and I liked playing with you in Los Angeles for a couple of months but we ended up back here and I'm still living in my tiny little apartment in Brooklyn."

"You haven't even tried."

"You don't even have a home. You've been on all these things yet you've spent the last year sleeping on couches."

Joey let out a sigh and let it sink in. Could he actually do a porn? That seemed like the bottom of the barrel, like he was officially giving up. Then again, the money would be good. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

"Okay, I'll do it."

"Good. It's a soft core, not even hard core."

"What's the difference?" Joey asked.

"Hard core is far more intrusive."

He could not believe he was going to agree to this but maybe he had no choice. He had no other acting prospects, no other auditions, there was nothing for him and he was coming down to his last ten, eleven bucks. So maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

A few weeks after his twenty fifth, he found himself on the set of Red Shoe. It was a porn series. He was supposed to be having sex on camera. That's what it said in the script. It was an office scene and he was supposed to have sex with a girl on a copy machine. Her name was Hannah and he had to take her in his arms and then have sex with her. She was pretty and he had a shot of tequila beforehand to help with nerves.

"So I guess, be gentle," Hannah whispered as Joey was instructed where to put his hands and exactly what he was supposed to do. He found himself wishing he had taken more than that one shot of tequila. He wished he had taken at least four, five, twenty five.

As he leaned in to kiss this girl, it all felt so technical. He had done love scenes before. When he worked on Married, he and Cassie had many make out scenes. He had make out scenes when he was on TV101, but that was far different. Those were for network shows. Things were covered up, things were just alluded to, nothing was ever shown. There were just jokes made or random comments. This was sex. Sex in front of people and people yelling things at him.

"Are you okay?" Hannah asked as he had her up against the copy machine, none of this felt natural. None of it felt right.

"Crap."

"What?"

"I can't do this," Joey said.

"What?" Hannah asked.

He stood up and stared at the director who were staring angrily back at him.

"What's wrong with you?" The director, yelled, more than asked.

"I can't….I...I don't know...I can't do this," Joey said.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" The director asked.

"Can...can...let-"

"I'll fuck her," a guy dressed as a copy machine repairman said as he walked towards him.

"I don't have time for this. You two switch places," the director said.

Joey nodded as he and the guy dressed up as a copy repairman switched places. He ended up standing there watching as Hannah and the guy had sex. He felt a little guilty but he just wasn't ready to go that far. He could not do porn.

When Kristi found out, she was pissed. He had met up with her for drinks to try and smooth things over but she was angry although there was a part of him that was glad he chickened out.

"I'm not going to be a porn star-" Joey tried.

"It's adult film, not porn."

"I don't care. Why are you even involved in this? What happened, Kristi? You were the one who had all these dreams of stardom and now you're stripping and in porn."

"Oh, don't act like you're better than me. You're not better than me."

"You know, I kinda am," Joey said as their voices started to become louder and louder.

"Fuck you. You have a criminal record and you were accused of raping a girl."

"It was a misunderstanding."

"Bullshit."

"And Tony got my record expunged."

"Great. So you have contacts that keep you from accepting any responsibility or suffering any sort of consequence. You're a fucking rapist."

"I am not a rapist. I treat women very well."

"Are you fucking kidding me? That's quite possibly one of the stupidest things you've ever said," Kristi was screaming at him. People were now staring as the two were shouting at each other although neither one seemed to care all that much.

"You're a stripper and you do porn, you really think the guys you're attracting now are gonna be all like, 'oh, she's a nice respectful lady,'" Joey said. "I bet the casting director who raped you was probably a regular and saw you strip so he figured you'd be good for those kinds of things."

"I hope you die," Kristi said. "Who the fuck do you think you are? You're not Brando or Pacino. You're a failed actor. You're like the millions of other people who try to get into that field and you know, I have home. You have nothing."

"You live in a roach infested apartment the size of a box in Brooklyn," Joey said.

"And it's all mine, baby."

"I've been on television, I've been in commercials, music videos and-"

"And you have nothing to show for it. So go to fucking hell, asshole," Kristi got up up and began walking towards the door. Joey tried to follow her out when he felt someone grab his arm. He turned around and suddenly hit whoever had grabbed him. The guy, about his height and size, hit back. Joey felt the blow hit his face and he threw yet another punch, it was a sea of thrown punches. One hit after the other, people were yelling and Joey could feel blood in his mouth. He was in a daze, angry and adrenaline kicking inside him.

He soon felt someone grab him from behind and suddenly pin him up against the wall of the bar. Those familiar handcuffs slapped down on his wrists as he was told that he was under arrest. He bowed his head as the cops had apparently entered the bar to break up the fight. The cop walked Joey towards the police car and placed him in back. The cuffs were hurting his skin as he rested his head back against the seat. He was sweaty and dirty, blood seeped through his shirt. He was taken into a small room, interrogated and then placed in a cell. It was all becoming way too familiar. He had become the proverbial "bad boy" or maybe a literal one. There were guys in there though that terrified him. Bigger guys but it didn't faze him.

Of course, it was Tony who had bailed him out again. Sure Joseph Senior had told Tony to leave him in the jail but Tony bailed him out anyway...after a week. He had never spent a week in there and that freaked him out. He had barely eaten, barely slept and felt dirty and was thrilled to see Tony standing there. When they got into Tony's car, Joey kept staring ahead.

"I can't keep bailing you out. Your dad and I thought maybe a week on the inside would do you good but….kid, I can't keep bailing you out. I got my own business. The more I bail you out, the more likely that they'll start closing in on me. Gotta make a choice. You're twenty five. You wanna be a criminal or you wanna get your shit together."

"I'm sorry, Ton," Joey said.

"I know. Let's go. I'll get you pizza."

"I need a place to stay."

"Christopher is gonna put you up. You'll crash on his couch and you're gonna work for me."

"I don't wanna-"

"I have a couple crews out in the field. You'll do construction. No waste management."

"I wanted to be an actor. I really….I really thought-"

"Those shows were crap."

"Yeah, but they were mine," Joey said, tears filling his eyes. He had never felt quite so low before. He had not worked as an actor in a year, maybe more, he had done a porn, he had gotten arrested again. He wasn't sure what else he could do to fuck things up more for himself but he had.

Christopher had given Joey his couch and for the first few weeks, Joey went to work and came home. He barely spoke to anyone about anything. He certainly didn't speak to Kristi but he kept thinking about her. He really hated that they were no longer speaking. She didn't even bother checking in on him or finding out where he was. He was too scared to reach out but he missed her and Christopher was often gone for long periods of time or would be off doing he wasn't sure what. Joey knew he had to reach out to Kristi but he wasn't sure how to make that move.

It was around February when he finally got the nerve. He picked up some roses and headed to her apartment. The front door was broken so he just walked in and walked up to apartment. When she opened the door, he grinned at her as she let out a sad groan.

"I'm so sorry, Kris."

"Joey."

"No, I really am. You're my best friend and you've stuck by me and I should not have said what I said."

"Come on in," Kristi said, taking the roses and motioning for him to follow her. He walked in and watched as Kristi placed the roses in cup of water and sat at a small table. He sat opposite her.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I haven't acted in a long time and I don't even know if they'll hire me and I'm so, so sorry….I just….I think you can be so much more than just….this."

"I think the same about you. Joe, maybe I like this. I like dancing and I still dance. I take dance classes and I did audition for a musical. Not the lead but as a dancer. We have to take our own paths, right."

"Tony left me in jail for week," Joey said.

"You deserved it although you're a good fighter. Maybe you can be a boxer. I bet you can be like the next Tony Danza," Kristi said.

"Oh…."

"Don't give up Joe and I'm sorry about what I said too. We don't fight fair, do we?"

"No. No…."

"Yeah, we need to work on that….although, you especially, you throw those low blows too easily."

"I'll work on it but...I don't wanna fight with you. Out of all of you….Chris, Shane….you have any idea how much you mean to me? If something happens to you-"

Kristi leaned in and kissed him. He kissed her back and could feel himself starting to cry again. When he pulled back, Kristi seemed to be crying too as she wiped a tear away from his face.

"I don't think you realize how sweet you can be, Joe."

"Really?"

"Yeah and nothing's gonna happen to me. I got you in my corner, right?"

"Always...and can you not call me a rapist anymore? Ever? I hate….she really did say no. That kills me too. Monique. Her name. She said no….I replay that scene in my head pretty much every single day since it happened. I will never forget her name or her face."

"When a woman says no…..believe them."

"I will."

"You hungry?" Kristi asked.

"What? Did you just meet me?"

"Let's get some pizza," Kristi said, standing up. Joey got up as well and leaned in to hug her. He wanted so badly to turn everything around and make it right. He needed to start auditioning again for things. He needed to work on his acting. He needed some sort of project. He refused to get in trouble again and he loved the acting. It worked for him.

He auditioned for many things but one of the first projects he got was a low budget horror movie shot in New York. The storyline hit very close to home as he played a mobster forced to leave the "family business". Tony, of course, got a kick out of his role. So did his family. He also did a TV movie about reform school girls which was a little bit porn-esque. It didn't matter though because it felt amazing to at least be back on set. He wanted to play.

By May, things were starting to turn around for him. He was back auditioning and there was a possibility of him starting work on a new television show called, "Rebel Highway". He was still staying at Christopher's but he spent most of his time on sets, getting out there and trying to just turn things around.

"Hey, I got a meeting here today Joe," Christopher explained to Joey as Joey glanced through some scripts. He kinda liked the mobster scripts. If he wasn't gonna join the "family", maybe he could play one of the "family". He figured if anyone could play one, it would be him.

"Okay," Joey said, flipping through a script about a group of friends living in New York. That seemed charming.

"Come on in," Christopher said as Joey looked up and noticed a guy walking into the apartment. He looked nervous. A lot of people came in and out of Christopher's apartment. Joey had a feeling Christopher had a side job selling drugs but he figured the less he knew about it, the better.

"Thanks," the guy said. "I was told that I should talk to you because you had some stuff. I just...well, my name is Bri-"

"I don't give a shit, have a seat on the couch, I'll be right with you."

"Okay," the guy said as he walked over and took a seat next to Joey. He was shaking violently.

"You alright, buddy?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, just….yeah."

"I'm Joey, by the way."

"Brian. I shouldn't be here. It's just...okay my best friend got engaged to my brother a couple days ago-"

"That's good news."

"No, no, she doesn't love him and she's kinda...she's a great girl and deserves better and my boyfriend yelled at me and we broke up and my friend and I fought and she...it's just better."

"Dude, everything gets better. Hey, in January, I was in jail…..now I'm doing horror porn," Joey said, holding up a script, although not the horror porn one.

"Really?"

"Kinda. Seriously, are you okay? What would be better?"

"I could….nothing. You ever think that maybe the world would be better off without you. That maybe your friends and family would be better-"

"No, no I don't think that shit at all. I personally think they'd be worse off if I wasn't here," Joey grinned.

"Funny. My friend, she's beautiful. Gorgeous and she wants so much more out of her life, you know. She wants to be a fashion designer but everyone else has this plan for her and she's too afraid to leave and-"

"Maybe that's what she wants."

"It's not what she wants."

"You don't get to make that choice."

"She doesn't want to be married to my brother and my boyfriend was yelling at me and saying how I have a crush on my brother's...fiancee-"

"Sounds like you do."

"I don't but she's ruining her life."

"So you're gonna end yours?" Joey asked.

"No, no….of course not. Who told you that?" Brian asked.

"No one, you're just giving me weird vibes," Joey said.

"I'm going to a party and I need some….stuff….on the down low."

"What?"

"You know, stuff?"

"You've never done this before, have you?" Joey asked.

"Alright, I got some Oxy, vicodin, other crap….take your pick," Christopher said as he walked towards the couch. Brian reached into his wallet and pulled out some money. There was part of Joey that felt he needed to do something, that maybe he should smack the money out of Brian's hand. Joey watched as Christopher handed Brian the drugs and took the money. He felt like he was watching from behind glass. There was part of him that kept screaming for him not to do it, to run away as fast as he could but instead, he watched as Brian left the apartment and Joey got a sick feeling in his stomach.

"How did that kid come into contact with you?" Joey asked.

"No clue. Jumpy kid."

"You think he's gonna….he was rambling on and on and-"

"I don't care about the background. It was a business transaction."

"Okay, it's just-"

"Don't worry about it. It's not my problem."

"Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go for a walk," Joey said, getting up and walking down the flights of stairs until he got out onto the street. The kid had disappeared though. Joey stood rooted to the sidewalk, hoping that maybe his feeling was wrong. His gut was wrong.

It wasn't.

It was now June and Joey was watching television, putting off reading through a script when a news story caught his eye. A man was found dead in his apartment found by a female friend. They listed the address of the apartment and explained how the friend how found his body. While the reporter was talking, Joey noticed two people in the background. A male and female. The female was sobbing as the male held her and they soon flashed to a picture of the male, it was that kid. Brian. The kid who had been on his couch. His gut had been right.

"Hey, asshole…." Christopher said as he walked into the apartment. Joey got up and charged towards him, grabbing him and throwing him to the ground. "What the hell?"

"That kid is dead," Joey yelled.

"What kid?"

"The kid you sold the drugs to. He killed himself. He used those drugs to kill himself."

"It's not my problem," Christopher said, struggling to get up and shoved Joey back.

"It is. Fuck. He's-this kid is dead. You know, if it traces back to us-"

"It's not going to. Please, don't worry about it."

"I am….I just started acting again."

"So? I don't give a fuck. You walk around here like your shit don't stink, Joe. I got news for you, Joe. It stinks worse than any of us."

"I gotta get out of here. I can't live here," Joey said. He couldn't stay in that apartment. He would beat up Christopher, he knew he would. He walked out of the apartment and took a cab towards the address given on the news. He got out and noticed the yellow tape was there. He noticed the female still sobbing. As the kid's body was being carried out on the stretcher, he noticed the female lunging towards the body, hugging him while the guy held her back. The guy held her as she let out a wail that shattered him. He kept thinking of all the guys he had brought to Tony over the years. He had never seen the aftermath. He had never heard the cries or the wailing of the friends, wives, girlfriends, children. The girl was in hysterics, could barely stand as the guy lifted her up, kept kissing her on the head. Joey wondered if that guy was Brian's brother. He kinda looked like him. She was shaking in his arms, her brown hair covering her face as the wailing, animal like sounds kept coming. He had broken this girl. Without her knowing, he had indirectly broken her. He may not have given Brian the drugs, he may not have forced him to take them but he played a role and he wondered if his role was even worse. He could have stopped it. He started to cry as well. He cried for her. He stood and watched the scene unfold, the sirens, the cops, the paramedics. He kept staring at the girl. She stepped back from the guy and walked up the steps of the building, sitting herself down. The guy sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her. Joey noticed the guy wipe a tear away from his face as the girl looked up him. She gently stroked his cheek and kissed him as she lay her head back down on his shoulder and he held her as the crying continued. Joey kept watching as soon an older couple passed him and walked towards the building. He assumed those were Brian's parents. Joey wished he could move in close but he thought it would be weird. So he kept watch, they didn't seem to notice him at all. He kept staring until they left and soon he was alone on the sidewalk. He had not moved. He had to move. He had to get out of there, a clean break. He had to officially leave that world behind.

He soon managed to hail a cab and took it towards Kristi's. She let him in and he knew he must have looked awful because she enveloped him in her arms as he just began sobbing uncontrollably. He wasn't sure what it was. He had taken countless people to Tony over the years. He knew what happen to them, he knew he was taking people to die but there was something about this. This death. This was different. That girl. He could not get that face out of his head. She was almost animalistic in her moves and her tears. She had grabbed at Brian as if that would wake him. That face would haunt him. That sound would haunt him.

Kristi let him stay at her place with the promise that it was only until he found a new place of his own. He had contemplated staying with one of his sisters but Gina and her son, Michael, lived in a two bedroom apartment and there wasn't enough room. Cookie was getting married. Mary Angela, Mary Therese, Tina and Veronica shared a loft together. There was just no room for him anywhere and he didn't want to live at home with his parents and Dina. It didn't matter, he could not live with Christopher.

While he continued looking for an apartment or going on auditions, he would see her sometimes, sitting in front of Brian's apartment building. He saw her sitting alone, looking lost. He wanted to talk to her, he wanted to say something but he could not approach her. There was nothing he could say to her as she sat on those steps, crying and then would soon leave. When he looked at her, he imagined the families of those he brought to Tony. A chorus of wails. He hated how much it affected him but it did and he needed to find that clean break. No more sleeping on couches.


	12. Chapter 12

Okay, before any of y'all yell...given what a lot of you seemed to ask for, I decided maybe to attempt it. You'll see it at the end. It will just be a moment in time for two very close friends. I really did not want to go there but it kinda felt right in that moment. Please review...and read! I'm starting to feel sorry for myself again because I ate all my macaroni and cheese and feel bloaty!

 **September 1993-December 1993**

Cookie's wedding was in the village around September of 1993. There was a church ceremony and it was a typical Italian wedding with lots of food. He was happy for his sister although he secretly thought Cookie's new husband was a douche but he knew better than to say that out loud. After the wedding, Joey and Kristi decided to grab some drinks and snacks before heading home to Brooklyn. They walked towards a bar down the street from the venue and ordered a couple drinks, some bar food and found some stools.

"I can't believe you're still hungry," Kristi said.

"Believe it, baby."

"It was a good wedding. Thanks for letting me be your guest."

"Of course. Between you and me, I give the marriage less than a year but hey I am a supportive brother."

"Cookie's husband is an asshole."

"I think so," Joey said, grabbing a handful of nuts and tossing him into his mouth.

"Are you doing okay though. The last couple of months-"

"You know she sits on the steps of his apartment. I've seen her sitting there and she's staring off into space and….and part of me wants to talk to her-" Joey blurted out. He had not told anyone that he would sometimes walk to Brian's apartment and see that girl sitting there. He felt he needed to tell someone, Kristi was a good choice.

"Oh, do not hit on her."

"I-I don't even wanna do that."

"You know, I'm confused, what makes this one so different? You've done runs for Tony for how long? The people you brought to him….they're probably dead now."

"I know and I don't know why this is affecting me so much. It's been three months and I still can't get that wail out of my head. It didn't even sound like it came from her. It sounded….I don't know but I've decided I need a clean break. Somewhere new. A new place to live, a new-"

"You know, there's a guy upstairs that looking for a roommate," the bartender said, overhearing them. He was pouring some drinks and hand some to another patron.

"Really?" Joey asked.

"There's an ad on that board," the bartender said, pointing to a bulletin board by the door covered with fliers. Joey walked over and found the flier immediately, he ripped it off and sat back down with Kristi.

"Not sure you were supposed to grab the whole thing, just those little tabs."

"Oh, this is perfect. Twenty four year old single male looking for a male roommate, must be moderately clean….oh, this guy is hilarious, 'assholes, serial killers, racist homophobes and fans of Yanni need not apply,'" Joey said, laughing at that.

"Funny, oh wait, then you can't apply," Kristi said.

"Ha, ha….this would be great. I could live upstairs."

"Joe, really?"

"What?"

"It's a funny ad and the guy probably is awesome but….you cannot….the rent is probably three, four grand a month. You can't afford that."

"He doesn't have to know that."

"So you're gonna con him into taking you in even though you have no money? That's not fair."

"Look, I need….a clean break. I'll explain it, I'll figure it out. I can get him to like me, maybe cover my rent-"

"So you're hoping he'll be your Sugar Daddy," Kristi said.

"No, I just think….clean break."

"Why can't it be a clean break in an apartment you afford?"

"'Cause it's an hour away from Queens. Worst thing, he ends up kicking me out and I move back to someone's couch but this is my shot. I want out. I can't get that crying out of my head. I have seen...I want...a new chapter."

"Fine," Kristi said although Joey was quite certain he was being judged. He didn't care though. He would move in with the funny guy with the ad. He would just have to play it in the right way. Maybe not tell that he had no money.

He made an appointment with the guy whose name was Chandler the next day. He walked up the flight of stairs and Chandler let him in. He was tall, wore a sweater vest and was very funny.

"So this is the place," Chandler said, "so the rent is about four grand a month. We'd split that in half and we'd split utilities so I would budget about three, four grand or so a month, if you can?"

"I can do that," Joey said, lying.

"Great…"

"By the way, your ad was kinda funny," Joey said. "No, racist homophobes or fans of Yanni?"

"You gotta be sure," Chandler said.

"Yeah, I'm cool. You can bring over as many guys you want," Joey said.

"What?"

"What?" Joey asked.

"I'm not-I'm not gay," Chandler said.

"I know," Joey said, realizing he had probably blown it. He had been so close although maybe it was a sign. He couldn't afford the apartment. Three grand a month was huge so maybe him not getting it was a good thing, he wasn't really entirely sure how he would pull off living in an apartment for that much a month. Besides, it didn't really seem like Chandler wanted Joey living there anyway. He got the feeling that Chandler wanted him to leave quickly from the moment he arrived.

He got the call a few weeks later that he had gotten the apartment. He was absolutely stunned. Kristi had handed him the phone and Chandler had informed him the apartment was all his. Joey took down the information, hung up and stared at Kristi.

"I'm outta here. Clean break. New life. This is so perfect."

"Three grand a month. October is like in two weeks. How are you gonna get three grand? You gonna ask Tony?"

"No. I'll figure it out."

"You're totally gonna take advantage of this poor guy. He thinks he has a roommate that can pay for half everything. So you're gonna tell him, what?"

"I haven't thought of it. I need to start over and I'll try to contribute something. I need out. I just do. I can't live like this….in this world. I want new."

"Are you still gonna visit me?" Kristi asked.

"Of course and….I gotta feeling...well, I got it after Chandler told me he wasn't gay that he'd love you."

"Great. I don't think what you're doing is right. I mean, this guy fully expects you to pay next month."

"I will figure it out."

"You just wanna get out of here that badly."

"Yeah."

Kristi squeezed his hand as Joey made his choice, he would move in with this guy. He would move in with Chandler. Yes, he was a little worried about the money. Hopefully, Chandler would not kick him out. He'd have to figure something out but first that apartment would be his ticket out of the world he was currently living in. It would be a fresh new start.

It felt nice to finally have a bedroom. He was enjoying unpacking and putting stuff away. He had not had a bed in so long. Chandler seemed nice enough and he'd figure out how to convince Chandler not to kick him out when he told him he would not be able to contribute. He couldn't wait to show Kristi or hell even Christopher his new place. He hadn't talked to much to Christopher after he moved out but Christopher was like a brother to him and they couldn't stay mad at each other long.

"Hello?"

Joey turned around and noticed a small brunette standing in the doorway. She had a big grin and looked very pretty.

"Hey, how you doin'", I'm Joey."

"Hi, Joey. I'm Monica. I live next door. So….welcome to the neighborhood."

"I grew up in Queens," Joey said, although he wasn't sure why he needed to add that.

"I'm from Long Island….so you're an actor. Have I seen you in stuff?"

"Commercials," Joey said, purposely leaving off everything else. It just seemed easier that way.

"Oh...so, um...if you wanna take a break, you can come over and I'll make you some lemonade," Monica smiled.

Joey's eyes widened as he remembered that time in Los Angeles when he was staying with Jamie and her neighbors asked him for "lemonade". He could not believe his luck that it would happen again.

"I can use a break," Joey smiled as he followed Monica into her apartment. She turned her back to him as she stood in her kitchen doing stuff. He wasn't paying much attention, but instead began undressing. He wondered if Monica had a roommate? Was this going to be another threesome? Or maybe just him and Monica. That would be just fine but when Monica turned around with the two glasses of lemonade, the color quickly drained from his face as she looked completely shocked.

"Oh my G-d…..what-what-"

"What?" Joey said.

"Why are you naked? In my apartment?" Monica asked.

"You invited me in for lemonade," Joey said.

"Yes….lemonade," Monica said holding up his glass, while trying to shield her eyes with her glass.

"Oh, oh...you-you really meant lemonade," Joey said, mortified as he quickly began putting his clothes back on. He was not making a very good impression. Monica had really meant, lemonade?

"Yes-who-how-what-"Monica said.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry...well, see, sometimes…I thought it was-"

"No. Oh, G-d….oh and I still see it."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I...I thought-can I still have the lemonade?" Joey asked, trying to smooth things over. Maybe they could start over? Monica reluctantly handed him the lemonade which he took and sat down. Monica looked furious. He started to get nervous. What if she told Chandler and Chandler kicked him out? His fresh start could end before it even began.

"I'm sorry….really, I'm not usually this big of an ass. I am sorry," Joey said.

"It's okay...I'm sure could it happen to anyone. Not anyone I know. But….yeah, welcome."

"Thanks," Joey smiled as Monica sat next to him. She still seemed rather irritated.

"You're welcome."

"So that Chandler guy? He's not gay?" Joey asked.

"What is wrong with you?"

G-d, he was messing this whole thing up. He wanted so badly for everything to be different. Monica was clearly not like any girl he had ever met. She seemed….harder to please?

"It's a question. He seems like a nice guy."

"He is. He likes movies and he is really funny….you two will have fun together."

"I hope so and I am sorry."

"It's okay….so...tell me, you're from Queens and you're an actor and-"

"Yeah, seven sisters and I worked in…..construction," Joey said, purposely leaving out big chunks of his life. "I've been in three failed shows."

"Which ones?"

"TV101-"

"I like that show," Monica said.

"You saw it?"

"Yeah, it was cute."

"Oh my G-d…..you don't know how happy that makes me. I was also in Up on Top and Vince and Bob."

"Oh….you were in the ketchup commercial," Monica said, pointing.

"Yes, I was."

"I liked that commercial but I never understood the appeal. I don't want my ketchup to take like four hours to come out of the bottle," Monica said.

"Thank you," Joey said. "So tell me about Chandler, he's gonna be my roommate."

"He's hilarious and sweet and really, I mean, he's amazing. So kind hearted-"

"Did you see his ad for a roommate?" Joey asked.

"Yes, I told him it was dumb," Monica said. "Honestly, he's one of my best friends. Such a great person."

"Do you like him?"

"No, not like that."

"Oh."

Lemonade incident aside, it was nice talking to Monica. She was different than the other girls. He almost felt dirty talking to her, like if only she knew the secrets he had, the stuff that he kept hidden. He would have to keep everything hidden. He had no choice.

Despite all the praise Monica heaped onto Chandler, it seemed like Chandler had nothing to say to him. Instead, Joey moved a cooler filled with beer up to the couch and turned on the television to watch Baywatch. Joey and Christopher had started watching it and he was kinda missing Christopher. He wanted someone to talk to and Chandler had locked himself in his room.

"What are you watching?" Chandler asked when he finally emerged from his bedroom.

"Baywatch"

"What's it about?"

"Lifeguards."

"Well, that seems...whoa..." Chandler said as he sat down next to Joey. Joey let out a laugh at the look on Chandler's face. He was clearly mesmerized.

"They run a lot," Joey said.

"As they should...oh good lord, who's she?" Chandler asked.

"That my friend...Yasmine Bleeth."

"Oh, she's pretty."

"You wanna a beer?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, I'll-" Chandler said as he got up, but Joey stopped him and handed him a beer from the cooler. Chandler grinned happily as he took the beer and the two continued watching, only taking breaks to talk during commercial breaks. Joey was very careful with what he said, careful to give him the sanitized version.

"So yeah...I'm twenty five. I grew up in Queens. After high school, I worked construction and then I moved to Los Angeles to try to make it as an actor...I ended up working at Disneyland," Joey said, making it short and sweet. He had just met this guy. He couldn't fill him in just yet.

"Really?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah. I worked on Main Street or something. It was a horrible job. I quit the day I had to clean up some college kid's shit. He shit all over Space Mountain," Joey said.

"Oh my G-d," Chandler said.

"What?" Joey asked, confused.

"You're the guy."

"What guy?"

"You cleaned up my friend's shit." Chandler said.

"Wait...come again?" Joey asked, trying to remember that day. He had blocked so much of it out. It truly was an awful job.

"Okay, during college, Kip, the guy who used to live in your room, Ross, whom you'll meet later and my other friend all went on a cross country trip and...Kip ate too many tacos off some guy's truck and shit all over Space Mountain."

"Gross. It was disgusting. I quit soon after. Although if I remember correctly, I did hook up with Snow White that night," Joey said.

"Really? I actually hit on Snow White. She rejected me."

Joey let out a laugh. Chandler was the kid who was hitting on Snow White? He had unknowingly cockblocked his future roommate. That was a little funny to him.

"Ehhh, Snow White was a whore. She got knocked up by one of the Dwarves," Joey said. He had heard that from Jamie when he had moved back to New York. Apparently Snow White was a little slutty, which he did know.

"Really? Which one?"

"Sleepy."

"Guess he wasn't that sleepy after all," Chandler mused.

"Although, he's probably pretty sleepy now."

Chandler laughed as he and Joey turned to watch television and during commercials, discussions began.

"Back to Future 3 was not that bad," Joey argued.

"Oh my G-d….you call yourself an actor."

"I do, actually. I've been in seven commercials and three failed television shows."

"Means nothing to me if you're gonna actually sit there and say Back to the Future 3 was the best one. Wait, wait….you were on Married."

"Yes, I played Cassie Appleton's boyfriend and-"

"I actually kinda liked Vince and Bob. Not a bad show."

"Thank you."

"And is Cassie Appleton as hot in person-"

"She's hot."

"Nice," Chandler said, "okay, worst Godfather?"

"Third one, of course."

"Okay, you can live here now. I wonder what that would be like. To be in the mob. I bet I would rock as a mobster," Chandler mused.

Joey could not help but laugh at this, imagining his new roommate as part of the mob. He could imagine bringing him to Tony and Tony laughing.

"You'd get your head blown off within the hour," Joey grinned.

"How would you know? Don't be so negative."

"Okay, you would rock the mob."

"I know, right."

"I have a movie question."

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Thoughts on Die Hard?" Joey asked.

"That's the best movie ever made and I want to be John McClane."

"Oh, we're gonna make good friends."

"Die Hard," Chandler said.

"Die Hard," Joey said back. "So how did you grow up, Chan Chan man?"

"Chan Chan man? Interesting nickname. Born in Scarsdale to a drag queen and erotic novelist."

"Are you joking?"

"G-d, I wish I was," Chandler said. "Went to an all boys boarding school for high school, NYU where I met Ross and Monica is Ross' little sister. I've been living here for a couple years."

"Monica's cute. She kinda looks like the girl who plays Lauren on Family Ties."

"She totally does," Chandler said. "Hey, do we have any beer left?"

"No, looks like we're out."

"I'll be right back, gonna get some from next door," Chandler said as he walked out. Joey turned to look at the television and he felt a little guilty. He liked this kid. He liked Chandler quite a bit. He was different than anyone he had ever met. Soon Chandler returned and handed him a beer before plopping back down.

"Thanks, man," Joey said.

"Hey...have you met Monica?"

"The girl next door?" Joey asked, starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. What had she said?

"Yeah...it was funny...she said she would never date you. What did you do?" Chandler asked.

"She asked me in for lemonade."

"And you peed in the lemonade?"

"No, I got naked."

"Wh-wh-why?" Chandler asked.

"A few years ago, some girl...I don't know her name...she invited me in for lemonade and we had a threesome with her roommate."

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah."

"Wow."

"I know...but apparently Monica meant lemonade."

Chandler laughed as he shook his head. "Well, thanks for that."

"You're welcome...wait, do you like her?" Joey asked, there was something the way Chandler looked when he talked about her that reminded him of the conversation he had earlier with Monica.

"Yeah...I do."

"Then go get her."

"She's not interested."

"Make her interested," Joey said although he was pretty sure it wasn't true.

"I'm trying."

"Well, don't worry, Chan. I'm not going after her. First of all, after today, I doubt she'd be interested and second...I don't go after a girl a friend likes."

"You consider us friends already?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Thanks, man."

The two continued watching television and commenting on the action of Baywatch. Joey really meant what he said. His new beginning. His new start and he liked hanging out with Chandler. He seemed really funny and it made him start to feel bad. He knew there would be no chance of him being able to contribute but he couldn't say anything. He had only been there a few hours but he felt so removed from his old life. He was separated from them and simply had no desire to go back.

Monica stopped by a few hours later and the trio decided to go down to the bar. Chandler was still cracking up about the lemonade thing. Monica seemed to have a good sense of humor about it too.

"You really just took off your clothes," Chandler laughed.

"Because she asked me in for lemonade."

"When has that ever meant sex?" Monica asked.

"Several times," Joey asked.

"Monica, can I come over for lemonade tomorrow?" Chandler asked.

"No." Monica said.

Chandler was laughing and Joey loved how much fun Chandler was having even though it was at his expense. Everything felt comfortable. He didn't want to give too much away, at least not yet and there was part of him that thought he shouldn't.

When they reached the bar, it was empty except for a tall blonde girl and a tall guy who were sitting on the pool table. They looked like they had been in the middle of something.

"What's going on?" Chandler asked.

"My marriage is over," The tall guy said.

"What?" Monica asked.

"What? Oh, by the way...this is Joey Tribbiani. My new roommate," Chandler said.

Joey was introduced to Phoebe and Ross. Ross' marriage was over it seemed and he wasn't sure how many questions he should ask and Phoebe, he recognized her instantly. He wasn't sure what it was about her, but she was the girl. The girl who would walk by his site. He had given her his number and she never called. He wasn't sure why he remembered her but she just stuck in his mind. He kept watching her as she retreated to the bar and Monica and Ross walked off to one of the tiny tables to talk.

"I know that girl," Joey said, motioning to Phoebe who currently had her back to them, drinking at the bar.

"How do you know her? Was she the girl you had a threesome with?" Chandler asked.

"No, no...I used to work construction and this really hot blonde kept walking by and I gave her my number and she never called," Joey mused. Those eyes, that's what hit him.

"Come with me," Chandler said, "tell her you know her."

"What?" Joey asked, confused. Chandler could not stop smiling.

"I met her once at a movie theater and I asked for her number and she never gave it to me...turns out from the ages of fourteen to twenty four she was homeless."

"Really? That explains a lot," Joey said.

"Come on...I wanna have some fun," Chandler said as they walked towards Phoebe and sat on either side of her. Phoebe looked back and forth between them. Chandler could not stop grinning.

"I know you," Joey said, following Chandler's directions.

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"You knew Joey too. He said that he gave you his number...you slutty little homeless girl," Chandler said.

"I used to work construction. You were the hot blonde that kept walking by this site I worked at. I gave you my number and you never called," Joey said.

"How do even know it was me?" Phoebe asked.

"Girls don't usually blow me off so I usually remember the ones that do," Joey said.

"I-well, okay...I got your number because when I didn't give Chandler mine, he got all upset and I didn't want to hurt your feelings and-and...and I was homeless you jackasses," Phoebe said, both Chandler and Joey began laughing and each planted a kiss on her cheek. This was fun. Joey also really liked Phoebe. He had a feeling that if he were to ever reveal his past to his new friends, Phoebe would be the person to reveal it to.

"So you blew us both off," Chandler mused.

"Okay, Bing...for the last time, I did not reject you and Joey, I had no phone number to give you and even if I had and we had gone on a date...at that time, I guess you would've been picking me up at a junkyard or the Y. Chandler, you definitely would've been picking me up at a junkyard."

"It's so fun to play with your head," Chandler said, laughing a little.

"I know. I can't believe this though...how small the world actually is. I never thought I'd ever see you again Joey...Chandler, I never thought I'd see you either until that day when I moved into Monica's. Wow...well, I'm glad you two are here," Phoebe said.

"Play with me, Pheebs," Chandler said.

"Yeah, come on...and maybe this time you'll give me your number," Joey said.

"Don't hold your breath," Phoebe grinned.

The trio got up and walked over to the pool table where a game began. He wasn't sure when the last time he played pool was and he also wasn't sure the last time he had ever laughed that hard was. Phoebe had a laugh and Chandler informed Joey she was ticklish so they poked her and she had this incredible laugh. It was unlike anything he had ever heard. It was brilliant, loud, nasally. He and Chandler kept poking, tickling her as she kept trying to get them away. He really could not remember the last time he had had that much fun. He kept looking over at Monica and Ross and wanted them to join in as well.

"Hey, play with us," Joey yelled towards them.

"Oh, you don't wanna play with them," Chandler said.

"They're super competitive," Phoebe said.

"We're not competitive, we're just that good," Monica retorted.

"I don't care….play with us," Joey said, he really did want them to play. Yes, it was sad Ross was getting divorced but he could still play.

"Come on, Ross," Monica said.

"I don't want to," Ross said.

"It'll help get your mind off of everything," Monica said.

"Or we can have Monica and Phoebe make out," Joey said.

"No, that will get his mind on things," Chandler stressed.

"Lesbians help people get through tough times," Joey said.

"Not if they're divorcing them," Chandler argued.

"Alright, let's go. Mon and I against the three of you," Ross said as the two got up to join the rest of them as they played pool and laughed.

"Alright, dude…these are the balls and this," Chandler said, picking up two blue pool balls, "might hit a little too close to home and-"

"Whoa, you think they both are that color?" Joey asked.

"How could they not be? His wife is a lesbian, she's not doing him," Chandler said.

"Boys, shut up," Monica said.

"I know. They are bad people," Phoebe said.

"We're being honest," Chandler said.

"No, dude those are describing your balls," Ross shot back, "how long has it been?"

"Oh, burn," Joey said.

"You're on my side, man," Chandler said.

"Ehh," Joey said as they continued playing pool. They played for hours, drinking and enjoying themselves. He honestly felt this new beginning had officially begun. He wanted this so badly. He loved hanging out with Chandler and Ross, they were so different than Shane and Christopher. He loved that they had completely different lives than he did, different backgrounds. It felt right.

That night, in his new bedroom, he called Kristi. He looked around his darkened room, feeling like he could take on anything. It was a new life.

"So how are things in the village?"

"Kristi, I love it and okay my roommate is awesome and…"

"Do any of them know?"

"No, and I will never tell them but….Chandler is hilarious. He cracks me up so much and he-"

"I bet he'll find it even more hilarious when you can't pay the rent."

"I know, I'll figure it out but this is right. I like it here. I'm a different person. That other crap, Kris. That's old."

"Okay. Well, can I still hang out with you?"

"Of course. You're one of my favorite girls. Although, this girl Phoebe is pretty awesome."

"Do I have to cut a bitch?" Kristi joked.

"You would love her. She's amazing and there's Monica who is also cool and very forgiving and Ross who has a wife who is a lesbian. This is….it's…."

"You sound happy."

"I think I am. I can't wait for you to meet everyone," Joey said.

"I can't wait either," Kristi said, "Are you gonna introduce them to Tony and Christopher?"

"Nope. Gonna keep them far away from that part of my life."

It was a promise he would keep for as long as he could. This was his way of cutting himself off from that world once and for all.

By the time October rolled around though, he needed think of something. He knew he needed to give Chandler some money for rent and utilities but there wasn't a chance. He was hoping Chandler wouldn't say anything, he was enjoying this new friendship too much. His life was so far removed than it had been at the beginning of the year that he wanted to keep it going.

"Hey, Joe…." Chandler said as he sat at the counter going through bills and tearing out checks from his checkbook.

"Hey," Joey said, as he sat across from him, shifting from foot to foot.

"You wanna go over this...I'm thinking-"

"I have no money," Joey blurted.

"What?"

"I-I'm an actor and I've spent much of the year on people's couches and….I'm really sorry man, I should've..I...I'm sorry. If-I really...I have-"

"You don't have anything to contribute?"

"I took time off acting. Like a year….it's been a rough year, actually," Joey said, not letting on that the first part of the year had been spent in jail.

"Oh….okay, yeah, just next month. I mean I didn't give you too much time so, yeah it's all good."

"Thanks," Joey said as Chandler began writing out checks. He would try to figure something out. Maybe by November? Although he still wasn't sure or December because when November came around, he had barely made enough to cover a little bit. He knew Chandler was starting to get annoyed. He didn't want his new friend to get annoyed. He didn't want this to end. He liked Chandler, really liked him and when it came time for rent in December, Joey once again had to break the bad news.

"Again?" Chandler asked.

"I'm sorry. Next year. I'll do better next year."

"Can I ask you something, Joe?" Chandler asked, letting out an annoyed sigh, "I love hanging out with you and it's been fun but um….why would you move in some place you knew you couldn't afford?

"Please don't kick me out."

"It's clear you can't afford to live here and-"

"Please, please...look...okay, I can't get into it….I really can't...but before this….I've seen a lot of shit and-"

"Like what?" Chandler asked, looking at him a little bit concerned. Joey could feel his heart starting to race. He didn't want to leave, he couldn't. He couldn't go back to Queens, go back to waste management for Tony but he couldn't reveal his past to Chandler.

"Stuff….I've been through a lot. I have a past, I guess. I just….I've done things and seen things that I am not proud of and...could go prison for-"

"Excuse me?"

"I can't and-and-this is a new beginning and I know…"

"Did you move in knowing I would probably pay?" Chandler asked, sounding upset.

Joey closed his eyes. He could feel it all slipping through his fingers. He needed this home. He needed it to not go away. He could see that girl in his head, the crying one.

"I'm really sorry. Please don't kick me out. Please, I'll….I'm really good friends with stripper, I can get you laid you like that," Joey said, snapping his fingers. "Just please don't hate me."

"I don't," Chandler said as he got up, "I'll keep paying and when you can contribute, let me know."

"Really?" Joey asked, standing up as well.

"Yeah, just...it's okay, you don't have to tell me. It's okay."

"You'll pay until-"

"I will. We have all have shit, right. Just...when you can, let me know."

"Thank you, Chandler," Joey said, floored. Whiled he had wanted Chandler to pay, the fact that Chandler was offering almost took his breath away. Chandler was a good friend and a friend Joey would protect. He'd make that promise.

Chandler walked towards Joey and the two men shared a hug. Joey felt something weird when he and Chandler hugged. A weird electricity between them. Chandler seemed to feel too as they slowly leaned in closer to each other and before Joey knew it, Chandler's lips were on his. He had never really kissed a guy. It felt weird, different. He wasn't sure what he supposed to do when suddenly the oven timer went off and both jumped back.

"Baywatch?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

The two guys walked towards the couch and sat down, turning on the television, both still a little shocked by what had just happened. Joey had never felt the urge to kiss a male.

"We'll never tell anyone what just happened, right?" Chandler asked.

"Of course not….and look, I'll pay you when I can. I just...I'm…"

"It's okay. I'm good for it."

"Thanks man," Joey said.

Chandler smiled as he high fived Joey and the two guys continued to watch the show in an almost uncomfortable silence which soon melted away when they discussed Baywatch. He felt lucky but also a tad guilty. He knew Chandler probably would not ask again so he would eventually have to figure it out himself.


	13. Chapter 13

So...I'd like to thank the two people that are reading this! Ha, ha...although the traffic stats say that there are more of you so if you are out there, please review! Or if there are really only the two of you reading this, then I hope you're enjoying it!

 **April 1994**

What had happened last December was a quickly forgotten moment for Joey and Chandler where they went right back to being brothers. He really just enjoyed hanging out with Chandler and as 1994 began, he did contemplate telling him some of the things that had happened in his past. He thought Chandler should know some stuff but he wasn't sure how far he should go. Chandler had not mentioned anything about rent for January, February, March or April, so that had been dropped too but he kept thinking that he wanted his friend to know something. He had tried a couple times to let him know or let Monica or Phoebe know. He didn't really know Ross very well but he just felt sometimes like he wanted to scream something, let them all know who he really was but he never really got that chance and by the time of his roommate's twenty fifth birthday that April, he still had not mentioned anything. Apparently, Chandler turning twenty five was a big deal. Monica, Phoebe and Ross were throwing him a surprise party. Joey woke up that morning and was told to keep it all secret but he would, at least, make him breakfast. He grabbed a couple bowls of cereal, poured one for Chandler and after spending some time looking for a clean spoon, he decided to add a little more. He reached into one of the drawers and pulled out a fake cockroach and put it in Chandler's cereal. That had been an amazing day, they had gone to a store that had fake bugs and threw them at each other until they were asked to leave. It was like he finally had a brother and a brother he could play a prank on.

"Happy birthday, buddy. I made you breakfast," Joey said as he pushed a bowl of Captain Crunch towards Chandler as he walked out of his room and towards the counter.

"Hmmm, hope it wasn't difficult," Chandler said.

"I spent twenty minutes trying to find a clean spoon."

"I-I hope you found one," Chandler said.

"I did. You got it."

"Awww. Thanks," Chandler said.

"So what's the plan for today?"

"Work...or maybe just showing up. I'm on level ten on Tetris."

"Score...what time are you gonna be home?" Joey asked.

"I don't know. I kinda wanna get outta there by six," Chandler said.

"You can't get home before six."

"Why not?"

"'Cause you just can't, alright," Joey said, he had never thrown a surprise party but he all he knew was that Chandler had to be home after six.

"Okay...I'm thinking we made a mistake last night."

"Mistake?" Joey asked.

"I think next time we fill up balloons to throw on the sidewalk, we fill them with water. Whipped cream might raise suspicions," Chandler mused.

"You might be right, but we can still fill 'em with the fake bugs, right?"

"We have to. Don't be an idiot."

Joey laughed when Monica suddenly stormed into their apartment, clearly pissed off.

"Okay, will you boys stop stealing my bras," Monica said.

Chandler and Joey exchanged a look and giggled. It had started innocently enough, the kids in the building next door began throwing water balloons at them, at least that's what they told each other so the only solution was to take Monica's bras to use as a sling shots so they could get revenge.

"But you don't understand...it's better traction or whatever," Joey said, miming aiming a sling shot.

"You're stretching them out. Chandler, your father is a drag queen. He doesn't have a bra you can borrow?" Monica asked, grinning at him.

"He prefers to go braless, thank you very much...as does my mother," Chandler said, smiling slightly.

"Dude, I wanna meet your parents," Joey said.

"No you don't," Chandler said.

"And I also really did not appreciate the cricket chirping CD you put in Phoebe's old room. It drove me nuts last night...seriously, you two...if you two continue pulling stuff like this, you guys will not be allowed to play together anymore...or I'll give both of you a time out. Don't think I won't. 'Cause I so will...I'm just that controlling," Monica said, smiling.

"He started it," Joey said, pointing at Chandler.

"No, you started it," Chandler said.

"No, it was all you."

"Dude, that is so not cool," Chandler said.

"It's like you two are twelve," Monica said.

"Six and a half," Chandler remarked.

"Six and three quarters," Joey said.

"Why do you start?" Chandler asked.

"Eat your breakfast, man," Joey said as he carefully watched Chandler eat his cereal, wondering when he would get the bug.

"Oh, gross what's in your cereal?" Monica asked, squealing with disgust.

Chandler looked down and noticed the plastic cockroach floating in his cereal. Joey started laughing as Chandler picked up the cockroach and looked at it.

"Happy birthday, buddy," Joey said.

"That's disgusting," Monica said.

Chandler looked at Monica and his smile became even bigger, "Mon, watch out. Flying cockroach." Chandler jokingly threw the plastic toy at Monica who began jumping and squealing while Joey and Chandler laughed.

"You...you...I am going to kill you," Monica said.

"Love you, Mon," Chandler said as Monica just glared at him and walked out the door, slamming it shut behind her.

"Oh, oh...dude, I'm thinking...okay, remember how we were throwing darts yesterday...I got an idea. I'm thinking I pick up like twenty hammers at the hardware store and we kick our game up a notch," Joey said.

"I'm intrigued," Chandler grinned.

"Good birthday gift, right?" Joey asked.

"I think so….we throw the hammers at the wall?"

"Well, aim for the dartboard."

"Yeah….but if we aim for the board, I think it will fall off."

"I'll get industrial glue. I used to work in construction, I'm on it. While I'm there, why don't I pick up a few blowtorches."

"Why?"

"'Cause wouldn't it be awesome to really see what it's like to actually light a fart?" Joey asked. "I've always wanted to do that."

"That's like a dream."

"Right."

"You know, Joe….I'm glad you're my roommate. It's good."

"I'm glad I'm here too and happy birthday again...apparently, you turning twenty five is a really big deal."

"It's 'cause they sometimes think I'll die before I reach thirty, so they figured they'd make every year a celebration," Chandler said, jokingly.

"Oh don't die before thirty, I need someone to pay the rent," Joey shot back.

"Exactly, I live….for you apparently."

"It's nice to know you care that much," Joey grinned.

"Well, what did you do on your twenty fifth?" Chandler asked.

"Nothing."

"Come on, man," Chandler groaned. "You've lived here for seven months and really all I know about you is you're an unemployed actor from Queens, you have no money and...you have a big family. It's my birthday. Tell me something and not just, 'ooo, I have a past.' Fuck that."

"Okay, okay...twenty fifth, I was back in New York because Vince and Bob was cancelled. A few weeks after, I did a porn-"

"What?"

"My friend, Kristi does porn and stripping-"

"Is she single?"

"I think so but I think Monica would kill me in my sleep if I set you two up."

"She would….but in secret?"

"Maybe….anyway, I didn't actually do the porn. I got cold feet. So I just watched people have sex and then...got thrown in jail."

Chandler put down his spoon and stared at him. He had really not opened up about anything he had gone through but with Chandler, it was different. He had learned about Chandler's life, his family, how crazy it was and maybe his roommate would be the one to reveal his stuff to.

"Excuse me."

"Kristi and I got into a huge fight later at a bar and some guy grabbed me and I punched him and….it got so out of control that I ended up behind bars."

"Whoa. How many times-"

"Four."

"You've been in jail four times?" Chandler asked.

"And stabbed once," Joey said.

"You're the best person ever. What?"

"This is between you and me, okay. No one else, just 'cause it's your birthday. I've been in jail twice for drinking and driving, once for a bar fight. I've been in two bar fights, but only one got me behind bars. The first one, I just ended up in the hospital due to the stab wounds….no charges."

"What about the fourth one? And you've been stabbed?" Chandler asked.

Joey did not want to admit to this, he closed his eyes, not wanting to see the expression on Chandler's face.

"Rape," Joey said, quietly before opening his eyes again. Chandler was completely quiet. "No charges were filed. I was arrested but….all four of those charges got dropped and my record is clean...which but….yeah…."

"Rape?"

"She was drunk. I was drunk. She said no….I didn't really listen. Please don't hate me."

"No, no….I don't."

"Please do not tell the others."

"I won't."

"It's just….I've done some fucked up stuff and I'm trying to...it's why I wanted to move in here so badly. It's far enough away and I really do appreciate everything you're doing."

"Anytime and hey, thanks for telling me," Chandler said. "I wanna know although, I gotta say….you don't seem like that bad or that scary of a guy that's been through bar fights and stuff."

"Good."

"Although, if someone ever tries to fight me at bar….doubt it would it happen...but if it did-"

"Oh, I'd knock their heads in with a bat," Joey said.

"I feel….strangely safe."

"Good. So how many blowtorches and hammers do you think I need?" Joey asked, desperately wanting to change the subject. He was happy though when Chandler just laughed and changed the subject as well. It was such a strange pairing, a real life Odd Couple, but somehow it just worked.

When breakfast was over, Chandler left for work and Joey went on a few auditions and ended up back at Kristi's apartment in Brooklyn. He still had yet to bring anyone from his old life around his new life. He knew Kristi was getting irritated.

"Are you embarrassed?" Kristi asked.

"No...it's just...clean slate. I mean-"

"You've barely been around."

"I know, I know. We'll hang out. Actually, you might like my friend Phoebe and I told Chandler about my arrests."

"How did he handle it?"

"Better than I thought. He's been through shit too. His mom is an erotic novelist and his dad has his own gay burlesque show in Vegas."

"Nice."

"I know."

"And he's okay with paying for you to live?" Kristi asked.

"Yeah. He asked and I just said it...I had crap and hey, you can still come around. The bar is now a coffee shop. It's fun. Come on by. I'm an unemployed actor, I'm there all day."

"I just might. Should I bring Christopher?"

"No. I can't yet. You're the safest."

"Awww, not sure how to take that."

"And maybe later this week, we can all hang out and...you will be my guest to Tina's wedding in September," Joey said.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"But what those two girls? The one you stripped for and the one you said was homeless. The homeless one would probably be super accepting."

"She would be but I'm not taking her. I'm not ready to have them know that much."

"What about Chandler?" Kristi asked.

"No. You're it."

"Why?"

"Because you know too much," Joey said.

"Fuck. Cookie's husband was a douchebag and-and-Tina's fiancee is-is-"

"A douchebag too."

"Fine. I will come."

"Thank you and now, I gotta run to the hardware store to pick up some blowtorches and hammers," Joey said.

"Why?"

"Chandler and I are making up a game. It's so cool. We're gonna throw hammers at the wall and the blowtorches are for us to see if we can light our farts on fire," Joey said, giving Kristi a quick kiss before walking towards the door.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"You boys have way too much fun together."

"We threw whipped cream filled balloons out our window last night. We totally nailed a pigeon. It was awesome," Joey said.

Kristi laughed as Joey walked out the door and outside. He went to the hardware store and immediately went to town thinking of all sorts of new games for himself and Chandler to play. Blowtorches, hammers, screwdrivers, lighter fluid, wrenches, there was just so much and no end to the number of games they could play. He dropped everything at the apartment with just enough time to spare in order to meet Ross at the pizza place. Monica had told Ross and Joey to pick up pizzas so he stood there with Ross, not quite sure what to say. He hadn't really hung out with Ross all that much and Ross always seemed to be busy but he knew Chandler and Ross had been college roommates and Ross was getting divorced.

"So how's the lesbian?" Joey asked, not sure what to say.

"What?"

"You married a lesbian, right?" Joey asked.

"Not on purpose."

"Well, that would be interesting."

"So….how is it living with Chandler?" Ross asked.

"Awesome. You were his roommate in college?"

"Yeah. Hey, can I ask you something? I know you and I don't know each other real well yet but Chandler's a good friend and I know he's been paying your rent and...look, the guy does come from money and we've had friends who have taken advantage of that and-"

"I'm not taking advantage of him," Joey said, suddenly feeling angry. In his old life, he might have punched Ross in the face even though that would not be a fair fight but instead, he tightened his fists but did not raise them. How dare this guy just assume that? It was very presumptuous. He wasn't quite sure where Ross' comment came from but he didn't care.

"I-I'm sorry….it's just-"

"No, look….I like you, Ross-"

"You don't know me."

"Ehhh, you seem like a dweeb."

"I prefer Science Nerd," Ross grinned.

"I have a past, okay….I don't wanna get into it. It's no one's business, it's the past but Chandler's my brother and I take care of family," Joey said, making it the short easy version.

"You sound like you're part of the mob."

Joey laughed, if only this guy knew. Any sort of awkwardness was saved by the delivery of the pizzas and soon they were on their way back to the apartment. Joey started to feel a little guilty as the cab ride was soon filled with the smells of tension and pepperoni. Maybe he could try to get to know this guy? He began to think of everything he and Chandler had done together in the last seven months and maybe he could connect with Ross on something. He kept thinking until he remembered something. They had gone to a Rangers game a month earlier and Chandler was weird. He had never seen anyone watch a game the way Chandler did.

"Hey, have you ever been to a hockey game with Chandler?" Joey asked. Ross started laughing at the question. Maybe this was a thing?

"Invite me next time, I'll talk to you."

"He did not speak to me the entire game. It wasn't like the Knicks."

"Well, yeah, the Knicks are awesome."

"Damn right," Joey said.

"But yeah, he gets very weird at hockey games. He's not playing, but it doesn't matter. If you go to a hockey game with him, you have to bring a friend."

"I tried to break him," Joey said.

"I tried throwing peanuts at his head," Ross said.

"Ice, it's harder to ignore," Joey said.

"Well, that's interesting."

"Here's the plan, next Rangers game? We'll try to break him."

"That's the best idea ever," Ross said.

"I know, right," Joey said.

The conversation soon revolved around ways to make Chandler break focus at a hockey game. The more he talked to Ross, the more he enjoyed his company as well. It really was bizarre to him, Chandler and Ross. They were the kinds of friends he never would have imagined himself having a few years earlier.

The party began around 6:30 that night. There were trays of macaroni and cheese and a beer pong table set out on the balcony which Joey was curious about. Ross and one of Chandler's high school friends, Tyler, kept explaining the rules. Something about throwing ping pong balls in cups and drinking. When Chandler walked in, the party began as Phoebe and Monica ran towards him and hugged him.

"Happy birthday," Phoebe said.

"Happy birthday, Chandler," Monica said.

"Thank you. Wow, this is amazing. Hey, guys...hey, Tyler," Chandler said, walking towards Tyler, Joey and Ross.

"Hey, man...we're playing beer pong on balcony," Tyler said.

"Seriously?" Chandler asked.

"I set up a table out there. Enjoy," Monica smiled.

"Oh, you're amazing...Ross, you gonna play with me?" Chandler asked.

"I hate playing against you," Ross said.

"'Cause you always lose?" Chandler asked.

"Yes," Ross said.

"Come on...let's play," Chandler said as he, Tyler, Ross and Joey walked towards the balcony when suddenly Chandler stopped and looked back at Phoebe and Monica. "Oh, by the way...I met someone."

"You did?" Monica asked.

"Yeah. I met her at the coffee shop when I was waiting to come up here. I invited her. She'll be here later. She had to go home and feed her dog first. Her name is Janice. Is that okay?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, of course...we have fourteen kinds of macaroni and cheese," Monica said.

"Great...alright...let's play. Joe, have you ever played beer pong?" Chandler asked.

"No...never played. I want to, though," Joey said.

"This man is unbeatable," Tyler said.

"We'll see about that. I may not have been to college, but I do know drinking games," Joey said, although he did kinda think the game sounded dumb and a way to put off drinking.

"You're on," Chandler said. "And then maybe we can make it more extreme."

"I'll get the lighter fluid," Joey said.

"No," Monica yelled to which Joey, Tyler, Ross and Chandler jumped, pretending to be taken aback by Monica yelling. Instead, they shrugged and continued to walk towards the balcony.

"Although, wait...you invited a girl? Did you re-inflate the last one?" Tyler asked.

"Ha, ha...funny," Chandler said as he walked onto the balcony where the game began and Chandler was indeed very good at this beer pong thing. He kept beating them all over and over. He was kind of impressed with Chandler's skills but not with his choice in women. Janice was one of the most obnoxious girls he had ever met. There were very few women whom Joey did not want to sleep with. Janice was one of them. She sounded like a cat dying.

"She's nice," Chandler shrugged. Janice had gone to the bathroom and Chandler was playing beer pong against Tyler.

"She's annoying as hell," Joey said.

"She's definitely not Lizzie," Ross said.

"Who's Lizzie?" Joey asked. Although, that name did strike an odd chord with him but he wasn't sure why.

"My girlfriend from high school and college. She broke up with me. I told her I loved her, she said, 'oh, crap," Chandler said.

"Harsh. I liked her. She was nice. What the hell happened to her?" Tyler asked.

"Haven't a clue. Don't really care. Look, she cheated on me and I haven't had a girlfriend or a date for that matter in like five years. I think I'm due," Chandler said.

"You don't really care what happened to Liz?" Ross asked.

Joey wasn't sure why that name sounded familiar or why he needed to remember that name. He shook his head, figuring he was being silly and ridiculous and continued to play. The party continued later with beer can bowling in the hall between the guys. It was honestly a world he never thought he'd be a part of and it felt strangely natural.

Although, the old Joey was still there. It was now Saturday night and he, Chandler, Phoebe and Monica decided to head out. They had invited Ross but he said he had a friend's birthday party, someone from grad school. It didn't quite matter, Joey, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica had spent a lot of time together in the last seven months. They had become their own little party clique. He did at times feel bad for Ross but he seemed to have some other life outside of the four of them so maybe he didn't feel too bad. He was excited to go out though.

Standing at a bar, he noticed a very cute redhead standing there. He realized that in his fight to escape his past, he really had not been out with a girl in seven months and that was way too long for him. He casually walked over to her and gave her his signature grin.

"Hey baby, how you doin'?"

"Good, good," the redhead said.

"So can I buy you a drink?" Joey asked just as a drink was placed in front of her, "or help you pay for that one?"

"I'm fine. I'm gonna-"

"No, wait, don't leave yet," Joey said, gently grabbing her arm.

"I want to. I'm here with friends and-"

"So am I. They can wait, I'd like to get to know you better," Joey said.

"Oh my G-d, Joey, let her go," Monica said, appearing beside him as she linked her arm in his. "I'm so sorry for my friend, go."

Joey looked at Monica and back at the redhead who began walking away or began to practically sprint away. Monica grinned as a bartender handed her a scotch on the rocks with a twist.

"Did you just cockblock me?" Joey asked as he grabbed the beer Monica handed to him. He was shocked as Monica giggled and walked off towards Chandler and Phoebe who were drinking and chatting away. Joey followed not sure if he should be angry or stunned.

"What's going on?" Chandler asked.

"Mon, just totally cockblocked me," Joey said.

"No, I call it saving you from a rape allegation," Monica said.

"Ehh, wouldn't be the first time," Joey said, trying to make it a joke but Chandler's eyes widened and he bit his lip, giving a stunned look that both Monica and Phoebe seemed to pick up on.

"Whoa, whoa….Joey have you been accused of rape before?" Phoebe asked.

Joey let out a sigh, he hadn't really wanted to get into what he had done but now it seemed he had painted himself into a corner with one joke or attempt at one.

"Well….yeah, awhile ago. She was drunk. I was drunk...no charges were ever really filed but she did accuse me and….I-it's awful and-" Joey said.

"Oh my G-d...Joe...okay, I'm….I can't even, here's what we're gonna do," Monica said as she reached into her purse and pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. "We're gonna have to practice treating women with respect."

"Now?" Joey asked.

"Yes," Monica said. "Okay-"

"Whoa, Pheebs….you and I are so off the hook tonight," Chandler grinned.

"I know. I'm so excited," Phoebe said.

"I'm gonna drink till it pisses you off," Chandler said, giving Monica a look.

"You don't have to drink to piss me off, you know that right?" Monica asked. "Your existence, in general, takes care of that."

"I know," Chandler said.

"Okay, Joey...let's practice-" Monica said.

"Is this really happening right now?" Joey asked.

"Well, if I ask you over for lemonade-" Phoebe began.

"It's just lemonade," Joey said.

"Right and if a girl says no or looks like she wants to go away from you-"

"I let her go," Joey said, interrupting Monica.

"See, the problem is that he doesn't know what it's like to be rejected. Let's model. Hey, Pheebs...will you have sex with me?" Chandler asked.

"Oh fuck, hell no," Phoebe said.

"See," Chandler said as he placed his arm around Phoebe who took a sip of her drink.

"Okay, come on….let's practice," Monica said.

"You are so weird," Joey said.

"I know," Monica said. "Okay, say 'how you doin'?"

"I don't want to," Joey said.

"Say it now or I'll punch you in the balls," Monica said.

"I'm having so much fun right now," Chandler said.

"Me too," Phoebe said.

"Say it," Monica said.

Joey laughed, for as bizarre as this was, he did find it slightly amusing.

"Fine...how you doin'?" Joey asked.

"I would like it if you left me alone. I'm here with friends," Monica said.

"Oh, come on baby, give me a little bit of that lemonade lovin' sugar," Joey said, winking at her as he ran his tongue over his teeth and raised his eyebrows up and down. Phoebe and Chandler both began laughing. Monica tried her best to hold herself together.

"Bite me," Monica said.

"Oh I will, baby, I'll bite you all night," Joey said, "yummy, yummy."

"Oh G-d….why didn't I bring my video camera," Chandler said.

"Mental pictures," Phoebe said as she and Chandler pretended to take pictures of them. Monica began laughing, no longer able to control herself.

"You suck as a person," Monica tried. "I'm trying to make you better."

Joey laughed as well as he placed his arm around her and gently hugged her, giving her a little kiss on the head. He did appreciate what she was doing or what she was trying to do.

"Thank you, Mon. Believe me, that was one of many of my mistakes before I met you guys and I really am ashamed of that story. I hate that I did that."

"I just don't want you to get in trouble," Monica said.

"I know. I've already been in trouble," Joey said.

"What else have you done?" Monica asked.

"It's not important," Joey said.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, what?" Phoebe asked.

"I have not said a word," Chandler said.

"Alright, I've been arrested four times, twice for drinking and driving, once for the rape allegation and once for a bar fight. There would have been a fifth time, but it didn't happen and that was after I got stabbed in a bar fight. I came on too strong to a girl at a bar and I got stabbed," Joey said, scrunching his face. Monica's mouth dropped. "The charges were all dropped."

"So did you do time?" Phoebe asked.

"A week," Joey said, "after my bar fight."

"Oh please, I spent a year in a juvenile detention center after I stabbed a cop," Phoebe said, letting out a snort as if Joey's arrests meant nothing to her.

"Excuse me?" Chandler said.

"He stabbed me first," Phoebe said.

"And I'm the one you're worried about," Chandler said, looking at Monica as he took a long sip of his drink. Monica let out a laugh.

"Okay, this is why I have the notebooks," Monica said.

"Do you have them for Chan and Pheebs?" Joey asked.

"Of course," Monica said, reaching into her purse and pulling out two small spiral notebooks and held them up, seemingly quite proud of herself, "stuff I need to tell Pheebs, stuff I need to yell at Chandler about."

"Why am I the one you yell at?" Chandler asked.

"Because you….you are," Monica said.

"I think we need to start one for Mon," Phoebe said.

"I'm perfect," Monica said.

"Except that you write down stuff your friends need to fix about themselves," Phoebe said.

"It's called organization. Don't mock it, respect it," Monica said, putting the notebooks back in her purse.

"Come on Crazy, dance with me," Chandler said, laughing as he stood up and reached for Monica's hand, pulling her up.

"I am not crazy," Monica said.

"Yeah, you are….a little bit, but we still love you," Phoebe said.

Monica looked stunned as Chandler pulled Monica on to the dance floor. Joey watched as Chandler wrapped his arms around Monica and the two danced together.

"They're cute," Joey said.

"Yeah, you know they're gonna end up together. I mean, he's crazy about her and she loves him too."

"So why don't they get together?"

"I think it's complicated. So you've been arrested four times?"

"Yeah, not proud. You were in jail for a year?"

"Yeah, I went through a rough time. Drugs and a pimp who spit in my mouth and...it was a mess but that's just how life goes sometimes."

"I like you, Pheebs."

"I like you too, Tribbiani and don't worry about Mon, honestly, yeah it gets annoying but she cares so much and so deeply….she's motherly."

"I'm not worried, I get what she's doing. You wanna dance?" Joey asked as he stood up and grabbed Phoebe's hand. The two made their way onto the dance floor where Monica and Chandler were dancing. Monica was laughing about something when she looked over at Joey and gently grabbed his arm and stood on her tippy toes to whisper in his ear.

"Don't hate me, okay, I'm sorry. I have a sickness," Monica said which made Joey laugh. At least, she had a good sense of humor about herself. He liked that.

"I won't, you're awesome but I pray for Chandler when you two finally get together," Joey said, grinning wildly at her as her mouth dropped. She playfully smacked him as he laughed. Phoebe wrapped her arms around Joey and the foursome continued dancing together, laughing and enjoying themselves. It was a perfect night, a perfect new beginning. He kinda like Monica's crazinesses, Chandler's humor and Phoebe got him. They really made the perfect foursome.


	14. Chapter 14

**September 1994 Part 1**

He had made it through the summer with his new group. He felt changed. He had barely seen anyone from his old life except during Tina's wedding. Kristi had been his wedding date. Christopher teased him about leaving everyone behind, but he didn't care. It was his clean break and he got it. There were some auditions, nothing that was coming of it but Chandler was helping. Joey was stunned when Chandler gave him money for headshots and other things, he never asked questions, never complained and Joey was feeling a little guilty. He tried. He would buy Chandler coffee or what he could but he did feel a bit like he was taking advantage. Other than that, he felt he was doing well. He was starting to forget about what he had seen and about the life he had lived before. That part of him felt so removed. He wasn't that guy anymore.

It wasn't until the middle of September when his past suddenly came back in the form of a sobbing bride at Central Perk. He recognized her instantly. He knew that crying face and his heart dropped to his stomach. He knew she had no clue who he was, no one knew there was a connection but he knew. He knew instantly. He thought of that girl, wailing, grabbing onto a body on a gurney and as she raced into Central Perk, she was clearly getting married or maybe not.

"Rach?" Monica asked, approaching her.

"Monica," Rachel cried, "Hi. I hope it's okay...I..you gave me your address last year and I couldn't do it. I couldn't get married….I had-I can't-I-"

"It's okay. Come here….here, you know Ross and this is Phoebe and Joey and-"

"Hi-"

"And you remember Chandler?"

"No, no, I'm sorry...nice to meet you," Rachel said.

Joey couldn't stop staring at her as she and Monica sat down on the couch. Rachel had run out on her wedding. That guy who was holding her, comforting her that day, that was the guy. The guy that Brian didn't want her marrying. Brian's brother? Joey wanted to crawl out of his skin. He noticed Monica and Ross comforting her while Phoebe and Chandler were exchanging annoyed looks. He felt a little out of place yet at the same time his head was spinning. He barely paid attention to Rachel's story although he did perk up when she mentioned gravy and potato but he zoned out when he realized she was discussing gravy boats and Mr. Potato Head.

Soon, they found themselves back at Monica's apartment. Rachel was sobbing on the phone to her dad while Monica, Joey, Phoebe and Chandler were sitting together in the living room area and Ross was near Rachel who suddenly yelled into the phone that she would be staying with Monica.

"I guess she's staying with me," Monica offered.

"You cannot let this happen," Chandler said.

"I'm not going to kick her out," Monica said.

"What's wrong with her? She's hot," Joey said, thinking that was the only thing he could say. He couldn't say anything else. Maybe he could tell Chandler or Phoebe later but not now.

"She's the devil," Chandler said.

"She's awful," Phoebe whispered.

"Guys…" Monica said.

"You don't have to save everyone," Chandler said.

"I have to save her….you don't get it," Monica said.

"So Rachel is living with you?" Ross asked, grinning wildly as he walked towards them. "I like that idea."

"Of course you do," Chandler muttered.

"Hey, you were mean to her as well. It was a two way street, buddy," Monica said, pointing a finger at him, "and Phoebe, I am so sorry. Really, I am….but and I'll explain it later."

"Monica," Rachel hung up the phone and looked at her from the kitchen, tears streaming down her face. She was melting down, her entire body shaking as she was trying desperately to catch her breath. Maybe she wasn't as hysterical as she was that day, but it was close. He kept replaying that image in his head over and over.

"I'm gonna talk to Rachel outside for a moment," Monica said as she got up and walked towards Rachel. The two walked out, leaving the others.

"She seems hot. I'd do her," Joey said, maybe that's what he could say. He had to do something, pretend somehow. He couldn't tell the truth. He'd have to see Kristi, later and maybe tell her.

"Classy," Chandler said.

"She's heinous. She's the devil," Phoebe said.

"How do you know?" Ross asked.

"Um, I've told her stories," Chandler said, immediately.

"Yes, Chandler has told me stories and she sounds just like the worst," Phoebe said.

"She's been through a lot. I saw her a couple months ago and she's….she's lost and she just ran out on her wedding. This is a big deal and-" Ross said.

"She smells like stinky cheese," Chandler said.

"I bet she likes to cut the cheese," Phoebe said.

"Yeah," Chandler said.

"I'd still do her. With nose plugs….but I'd do her," Joey said.

"What is wrong with you, man?" Chandler asked.

Joey knew he was probably going too far but he wasn't sure what to say so in that nervous state, he was laying on the flirting and it seemed quite obvious that Phoebe and Chandler hated her although he didn't really care why.

"Look, be nice to her. She's upset. Don't be assholes," Ross said.

"I can't guarantee that," Chandler said.

Rachel and Monica soon returned. Joey kept looking at her. He needed Kristi so badly in that moment. He needed to tell her. He needed to say something. He would make a date, it would have to be a late date of course because he had promised Ross that he would help him set up furniture in his new apartment. Ross was moving into a new place. So he helped but he kept thinking about Rachel, he kept thinking about how Brian was sitting on his couch and was days away from taking his own life.

He finally met up with Kristi around ten, eleven o'clock that night at Sparks. Chandler had decided to home and Kristi met him. He was freaked out and thrilled Kristi had already ordered him a drink when he arrived.

"I also ordered you steak," Kristi said.

"Perfect. I'm fucking screwed."

"Did your Sugar Daddy finally grow a pair and kick you out?" Kristi asked.

"No, he paid for my headshots and I'm thinking of taking another acting class….which he'll probably have to pay for."

"You are gonna owe him shit loads of money."

"Yes, but that's not why I'm screwed. Remember the guy Christopher sold the drugs too?"

"Yeah, he's dead. Did he come back to life?"

"No, but remember the girl I told you about? She's best friends with Monica and now she lives next door. I think my roommate hates her."

"Did she recognize you? What's her name?"

"No but I didn't expect her to and I didn't tell her that I was actually there when her friend was carried out dead on a stretcher and I watched her lunge towards him in hysterics. She was hysterical today….I wonder if that's just a thing she does."

"Why was she hysterical today?"

"She ran out on her wedding. That kid's brother and I remember because the kid was saying how his friend didn't want to get married to his brother and-and-clearly he was right….do I tell her?"

"Oh, oh, G-d no."

"But maybe…."

"What good would that do?" Kristi asked.

"I don't know but….oh, Pheebs," Joey said, standing as he waved her over. He had invited Phoebe to join him and Kristi. He kinda wanted her to meet Kristi. He just thought they'd get along well and given how Phoebe reacted to Rachel moving in, maybe she would have a different reaction than Chandler, Ross or Monica.

"Why did you invite me to a steak house?" Phoebe asked.

"There's booze here...and salad. Vegetables," Joey said, pointing at the menu as she sat down and took the menu from him.

"Aww, they have live lobsters," Phoebe said.

"Remember, Kris when we ditched school and I had a five and half pound one."

"I think you ate like three of them by yourself," Kristi said as she sipped her wine.

"You're a killer," Phoebe said which caused Kristi to suddenly choke on her wine. Joey glared at her as she coughed.

"You okay?" Joey asked.

"Oh, G-d...yeah, that was...that...I'm Kristi by the way."

"I'm Phoebe and….this is hell for me."

"Get a vegetable and a bottle of booze," Joey said.

"Where's Chandler?" Phoebe asked.

"Home. Probably hanging out with Rachel," Joey said.

"Ugh, poor thing," Phoebe said. "She's the worst."

"Have you met her before?" Joey asked.

"I've had run ins. One time she was volunteering at the soup kitchen that I was at….well, she didn't volunteer. She just stood there and insulted people," Phoebe said.

"Why were you at a soup kitchen?" Kristi asked.

"'Cause I was getting dinner," Phoebe said as if it was obvious.

"Phoebe was homeless from age fourteen to twenty four," Joey explained.

"Seriously?" Kristi asked.

"Yeah, well, I mean, that's just what happens when your dad vanishes and your mom kills herself and your stepdad is in prison. It happens," Phoebe said. "I'm getting a potato, spinach and a martini."

Joey couldn't help but smile at how Phoebe talked about her past. It was as if it was just no big deal. Kristi kept staring at her in amazement as Phoebe began talking to Kristi as if they'd known each other forever. Phoebe didn't judge when Kristi told her about how she stripped and did porn. It seemed like a friendship that was bound to happen.

After dinner, the trio went to a club that Phoebe said she and Chandler used to go to all the time. Once there, Kristi went off to dance as Phoebe and Joey got drinks and sat at the bar. He was amazed by her, she was gorgeous and had a laugh that was so filled with joy.

"So how did you end up living with Monica?" Joey asked.

"I found an ad and Monica took me in. She had a boyfriend when I moved in though, so Chandler and I played. Sad he didn't come out tonight. He knows how to have a good time. He and I would get so wasted."

"Pheebs, would you go out with me? Ever?" Joey asked.

"We are out?" Phoebe asked.

"No, like a date?"

"Hmmm, maybe but honestly….my heart belongs to someone else. So any relationship I get into can really only be sexual."

"I'm okay with that. Who's the guy?"

"His name's Duncan. I met him while I was cleaning toilets at the Y. He's in the Ice Capades."

"Where is he?"

"Touring. He's gay….but part of me thinks he's not. I really like him. He's been there. I went to Prague with him. I was in charge of all the costumes and one day, he'll be back. At least I hope so…."

"He should be here."

"Yeah, he should," Phoebe said, letting out a sad sigh. "So, Joe….how is it living with Chandler?"

"Good."

"Is he really paying for everything?"

"Well, hey, didn't Mon pay for everything when you first moved in?"

"No, actually. I graduated and then got a job and I had saved up money too from when I worked at the novelty store in Port Authority. So I definitely contributed."

"I wonder if Rachel's gonna contribute?"

"She's a horrible person. Chandler hates her too. I feel bad, he's probably having to deal with her. She totally dumped Monica and Ross as her friend and I don't trust her. She's one of those spoiled brats who gets everything handed to her."

"I-her friend died…..and my cousin gave him the drugs," Joey said. He had to tell her.

"Excuse me?"

"Please do not tell any of them but you know...the guy Rachel was supposed to marry today?"

"Yeah?"

"He had a brother. I was staying at my cousin's place and this guy came over once to get drugs and I knew why. I knew he was gonna do something and he did….this kid did and I went to his apartment when the news broke. They gave his apartment address and I saw Rachel….wailing and grabbing his body."

"Oh my G-d."

"Phoebe, you have to promise me-"

"Hey, I am an amazing secret keeper. I keep Monica's, Chandler's and I'll keep yours."

"Kristi says I shouldn't tell her."

"Oh, G-d. Do not tell Rachel."

"I shouldn't?" Joey asked.

"No, look, I don't trust the girl. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. Nothing good could come from telling her. You could tell Chandler. Do not tell Monica. Do not tell Ross."

"Okay."

It racked his mind wondering if he should even mention it. Phoebe seemed to sense what he was feeling and grabbed his hand, pulling him onto the dance floor to where Kristi was dancing.

"You're sweet, Joe," Phoebe said as he wrapped his arms around her waist as she sipped her drink.

"I've met many people who would disagree," Joey said.

"No, I'm usually right about people. Rachel's a horrible awful person, Ross has bad taste in women, Chandler is the funniest person alive, Monica is the protector and you're sweet. I can tell."

"You're sweet too," Joey said.

"Oh my G-d, kiss her already," Kristi said, appearing next to them. She had apparently left her dance partner.

"Weren't you somewhere else?" Joey said.

"Whatever? Pheebs, can you kiss my buddy. He's lonely and horny," Kristi said.

"Sure but only if I get to kiss you next," Phoebe said.

"Wait, what?" Joey asked.

"And besides I've already made out with Chandler and Ross. I should make out with you, it will complete the set," Phoebe said.

"Should I be offended by that?" Joey asked.

"Yes, but it's you….so no," Kristi said.

"Yeah, I already know your history," Phoebe said.

"Oh, do you really know everything?" Kristi asked.

"Oh yes….we're trying to teach him to be a better man," Phoebe said.

"Good luck with that," Kristi said.

"Get away from me," Joey said.

"No, kiss and then Pheebs and I will kiss."

Joey and Phoebe exchanged a look as they leaned in towards each other. Kissing felt nice, she was good at it. When they parted though, Joey watched as Phoebe leaned in towards Kristi and the two shared another kiss. His eyes widened and he knew he'd have to tell Chandler.

When he got home that night, he noticed Rachel and Chandler still on the couch. The seemed to be watching the end of Animal House.

"Hey, buddy….how was the date?" Chandler asked.

"Good, it was really just me and Kristi-"

"Is Kristi your girlfriend?" Rachel asked.

"No, just a friend," Joey said.

"She's a porn star," Chandler said.

"Adult Film Actress," Joey said.

"Porn," Chandler said.

"Wow."

"Then Phoebe met up with us and...we went to some club-"

"Phoebe is fun to party with," Chandler said.

"So you guys watched movies?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, trying to make Rachel feel better," Chandler said.

"It worked...but I should probably go to bed. It's been a long day and….it's gonna be weird but-" Rachel said, starting to choke up again.

"Hey, no crying during Spaceballs….or Animal House."

"I know," Rachel said as she let out a sigh and got up. Chandler got up as well as they shared a hug. "Thank you, Chandler. This was fun and I'm….it's fun."

"See you tomorrow, Coyote," Chandler said which made Rachel giggle and Joey seem rather confused. She walked towards Joey and gave him a weak smile and he could recall those times he saw her on the steps of Brian's apartment. She gently squeezed his arm.

"I'm looking forward to getting to know you, Joey. Sorry we didn't get a lot of time to talk to today," Rachel said.

"It's alright. You had a lot on your mind," Joey said.

"Yeah, alright, good night boys," Rachel said as she walked out of the apartment. Joey looked over at Chandler who was starting to put away all the movies he had apparently watched that night.

"Coyote?" Joey asked.

"Oh, it's stupid. We knew each other at camp and G-d, hated each other and I used to call her Coyote like Wylie Coyote. I kept waiting for her to run off the cliff. I've decided now it's gonna be a weird term of endearment. Coyote runs off the cliff, but he gets up and keeps going," Chandler said.

"So you like her now?" Joey asked.

"Shockingly, yeah."

"Does Phoebe know?"

"Yeah, I'll probably have to talk to her," Chandler smirked.

"You knew Rachel from camp?"

"Yeah and then I ran into her during a couple Thanksgivings at the Gellers and we were pretty awful to each other but I don't know, she seems kinda cool."

"Maybe you'll date her instead of Monica?"

"I don't see that happening. I'd rather date Monica. But wow….weird day. You know, I put peanut butter on Rachel's car once and her bed."

"What?" Joey asked, walking towards the couch as Chandler looked through some more of his movies. This seemed like it would be an interesting story.

"I first met her at camp. She was a bitch. So I filled her bed with peanut butter. I saw her a few years later at a game. My buddies and I had gone to a game at her high school and she acted like a bitch again, so I covered her car with her peanut butter."

"Nice. You're a genius, man."

"I know, although, apparently she was really upset about it. Over the top, that's what Ross and Monica said. I don't know why. Rach just said I had bad timing."

"Maybe she was PMSing?"

"Maybe. Die Hard?"

"Die Hard. I'll get us some beers," Joey said as he got up to get a couple beers from the fridge. When he returned, he handed one to Chandler as the two plopped down on the couch to watch the movie.

As the movie began, Joey still needed to talk to someone. He knew he was obsessing. He knew it was repetitive at this point but he needed to tell someone else. Seeing Rachel was killing him.

"I know her friend who died," Joey said suddenly. He watched as Chandler slowly picked up the remote and pressed pause.

"Excuse me?"

"I told Kristi and Phoebe and I haven't told anyone else and you better not say a word and I've been obsessing over this all night or since Rachel's been here. It was my cousin who sold her friend the drugs he used to kill himself."

"That friend was Barry's brother."

"I know and I saw her….she would be on his steps sometimes and I saw….she grabbed his body. Brian was sitting on my couch and I knew, Chandler, I knew what he was gonna do and I didn't stop it and now she's here and I'm hitting on her because...I don't know."

"Wow. I mean, you're never saying a word to her."

"No, I know and Kristi and Phoebe told me I shouldn't and….how am I gonna live next door to her."

"You just will. Keep hitting on her. Be your piggish self, if she invites you in for lemonade, take off all your clothes."

"I might. That sound. Every single time I see her now, I'm gonna imagine that face and hear that-that sound-"

"Well, good news is she doesn't seem like a crier," Chandler tried.

"Fuck off."

"Look, you didn't give him the drugs, right?"

"No but I could have stopped it."

"Or maybe you couldn't have. If he was that hell bent on doing that….maybe you couldn't have."

"It was….that's why I wanted to move in, you know? It needed to get out of there, out of that life."

"What life?" Chandler asked.

"Just….all of it."

"Is there more than what you've told me?"

"Can we please watch Die Hard?"

Chandler nodded as he unpaused the movie and Joey leaned back against the couch. He kept seeing that image in his head and he wanted it so badly to leave. Hopefully it would leave. After all, it seemed very much like Rachel would be there for awhile.

The next morning, Joey and Chandler headed across the hall. Chandler didn't mention their conversation from last night. It would remain unspoken, he would just continue hitting on her. That wouldn't be hard to do. Rachel was hot.

"Mon, I want food," Joey said as they walked in. Rachel was sitting at the table and Monica was making what appeared to be omelets.

"I'm making breakfast, hold on," Monica said.

"Hey, Rach," Chandler said.

"Hey...loser," Rachel grinned before noticing everyone staring at her, "I'm making a joke. Good morning, Chandler and Joey."

"Timing is everything, sweetheart," Chandler retorted.

"Oh, bite me," Rachel said.

"Boys, we need your help today. Rachel needs to move out of her apartment and you guys need to help get her stuff," Monica said which caused both boys to groan and stare angrily at Rachel.

"Is this why you were nice to me last night?" Chandler asked.

"No….a little….I still need help moving my crap and I really don't want to run into any of my old friends or Barry…." Rachel said.

"Don't worry, babe, Joey's here," he said at the sound of Barry's name. He looked over at Chandler who let out a snort.

"Joey, stop hitting on her," Monica admonished.

"Yeah, don't mind my roommate….he's a walking penis," Chandler said.

"Thank you," Joey said.

"Wasn't a compliment, Joe."

"You just called me big...actually, Rachel a lot of people just refer to me as Big Joe."

"Joey, stop," Monica said.

"And no one does that," Chandler said as he shook his head. Maybe Joey was taking it too far although he wasn't sure how to do in between flirting. He just knew he had to lay it on, when he was quiet, he kept replaying the images in his head.


	15. Chapter 15

**September 1994 Part 2**

After breakfast, they headed out to meet Ross at Rachel's old apartment. He still felt nervous, wondering if there would be pictures of Brian. He had never seen Barry up close, there be pictures of Barry looking like his brother? When they met Ross at the apartment in Long Island, his worries were temporarily placed on hold as he was amazed by the size. It was huge. They reminded him of the places Tony used to take him. The big mansions where'd he go pick up someone who owed Tony money.

"Can I live with Barry?" Chandler asked when they were finally let into the apartment. Barry wasn't home. He had gone to Aruba which was where Rachel and Barry's honeymoon was supposed to be.

"Okay, let me grab the suitcases and….I just need some stuff like for clothes," Rachel said.

"Rachel, this is where I take control. Okay, Joey, Ross, Chandler take the boxes and...where's your room?" Monica asked.

"Come on, boys," Rachel said as the boys groaned. They followed Rachel into her bedroom and listened as she pointed out what stuff was hers and soon the three began just throwing things in boxes. Soon after she left though, they decided to make it into game by simply throwing things into boxes and giving points to see how far away they were when Joey began hearing voicemail messages come from the other room. He looked over at Chandler and Ross who seemed to be listening too. The three boys walked towards the living room and these voices began to fill the room. He didn't know who these people were but he hated them. These messages were cruel and they were attacking Rachel. He wondered if these were friends? He wasn't sure but it sounded horrible.

"Harsh," Chandler said when suddenly Monica pressed a button on the machine and the messages stopped. Joey watched as Rachel dissolved into tears again. He really was going to hate watching her cry.

"Did they not think I'd be back? The guy went Aruba and...none of my friends are worried about me? They're not wondering where I am? For all they knew, I was missing for twenty four hours and no one cared. I have no friends."

"Rachel, sweetie," Monica comforted her. "It's okay."

"Why do they hate me so much?" Rachel asked, sobbing into Monica's shoulder.

"I have to tell her," Joey whispered.

"No," Chandler whispered back. Joey let out a sigh as he looked over at Ross. The three boys walked towards Monica and Rachel and soon joined them in the group hug until Rachel declared that she couldn't breathe. When they separated Rachel took a deep breath and wiped her tears away.

"You got us, Rach….we're not going anywhere," Ross said.

"Yeah….we would care if you went missing. We'd get you….also, the Gellers don't let anyone go missing. Believe me," Chandler grinned as Ross smacked Chandler upside the head.

"Let's get to work, please." Monica said and with that, the three returned to the bedroom to continue packing. Joey walked around the room and began looking at the pictures on top of one of the dressers. He picked up one and noticed Rachel standing with the guy, Brian. They had their arms around each other and were laughing. She did laugh. That guy made her laugh. Joey's mind instantly returned to that day.

"We need to do something," Chandler said.

"What?" Joey asked, turning to look at him.

"I can't….we can't leave without doing something," Chandler said. "I mean, I may have hated her, but no one deserves what we just heard."

"What are you gonna do?" Ross asked.

Chandler got up and walked towards the bathroom and came out with bottles of shaving cream, aftershave and cologne and dropped them on the floor. He tore the sheets off the bed and then handed Joey a bottle of aftershave, Ross a bottle of cologne and he picked up a bottle shaving cream.

"Start pouring," Chandler said.

"Let's do it," Joey said, putting the picture back. He would do this for Brian, for Rachel. He didn't even know this Barry guy but he seemed like an ass.

"Guys, we can't….that's-"

"Why not?" Chandler asked.

"I thought you hated her?" Ross asked.

"I did….but we had fun talking last night and she's not all horrible. I just...I think….come on, you heard those messages," Chandler said.

"Let's start pouring," Joey said as he dumped the bottle of aftershave into the bed.

"He's not even here," Ross said.

"It's gonna stink when he comes back. Look, Two Face was basically obliterated out there," Chandler said.

"Two Face?" Joey asked, confused. Who was Two Face?

"It's no one...but…"

"I know how you feel about her. Come on….those were people she thought were friends."

Joey looked at Ross, confused. There were things he needed to know. He wanted to ask more questions. He watched as Ross walked towards the bed and began emptying the bottle of cologne. Joey and Chandler followed. They kept dumping things into the bed, it felt good. Those messages sounded awful. How could anyone send a message to someone who had cried like that?

"What are you doing?" Rachel asked. They stopped as they noticed her walking into the room. She stood by Ross and looked quite confused.

"Revenge," Chandler said.

"Yeah, we can't let people trash you like that. Come on," Joey said.

"Welcome to our group," Ross said.

Rachel looked at them and looked like she was about to cry again, "but he's not coming home for another week."

"Imagine how gross this is gonna be in a week," Chandler said.

"It'll be nasty," Joey said.

"And don't worry, we're gonna make the bed before we go so he won't even know," Chandler said.

Rachel let out another sigh as Ross hugged her. Joey watched her as she walked into the bathroom and came back with more stuff for them to pour in the bed.

"Here you go….and thank you, guys," Rachel said as she walked towards the door. She turned and yelled out into the living room, "yeah, Mon….the boys have it all under control here. You don't need to worry." Rachel turned and gave them a wink before walking out.

"So who's Two Face?" Joey asked. He felt he needed to press more.

"It's Rachel," Chandler said.

"It is not Rachel."

"He wrote a comic book about Science Boy and Two Face and Two Face is totally Rachel. Acts one way in private, another way in public," Chandler said, grinning.

"Shut up," Ross said, glaring at him.

"Dude, do you have a hard on for Rachel?" Joey asked.

"Yes," Chandler said.

"No. Shut up," Ross said.

"But you married the lesbian," Joey said.

"He married the lesbian to get over the Rachel," Chandler said.

"That's not why I married the les-Carol."

"Totally is," Chandler said.

"I'm gonna beat you," Ross said.

"You know I'm just messing with you," Chandler said, patting Ross on the back.

"I know but you are okay with Rachel being back in our lives, right?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. I am. We had fun. She's kinda cool. Believe me, it's hard for me to admit that but I don't know...she seemed different."

"How was she before? She seems like a hot girl who cries a lot," Joey said. It did dawn on him that every time he had seen Rachel, she had been in hysterics.

"She is that," Ross grinned, "but I think she's been through a lot in the last six years," Ross said.

"Her friend died," Chandler said.

Joey's heart dropped into his stomach as he shot Chandler a look. What was he doing? Chandler couldn't tell Ross, could he?

"I know. She told me. A drug overdose," Ross said. "She found his body."

He wanted to scream. He has seen it on the news. He had been at Brian's apartment, watching him being taken out dead on a gurney. That's why he had to leave. He started to feel his dizzy, sweating again.

"Rough," Chandler said. "Yeah, I don't think I hate her too much today. We really had a lot of fun. She likes _Spaceballs_ and _Airplane_ ….she likes good movies."

"She told you those were her favorites?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. Are those not her favorites?" Chandler asked.

"They are. But she used to tell people her favorite movie was _Terms of Endearment_. She thought people would judge her if they knew she liked those movies. Nice to hear her being truthful," Ross said.

Listening to this made him feel sick. He hated this. He hated hearing about the movies she liked. He felt like an intruder. He needed to change the subject.

"Maybe Bing wants to bang her," Joey said.

"No, no definitely not….but I'll watch movies with her," Chandler said.

Ross smiled at that. When they were done messing with the bed, Ross walked into the bathroom to pack up Rachel's make up and Joey took that opportunity to chuck a box of Kleenex from Barry's nightstand at Chandler's head.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?" Joey asked, whispering.

"He's not gonna make that connection. He also already knows her friend died. Rachel's already told him. No one knows your part except me and Pheebs."

"Why isn't she here?"

"She hates Rachel. Also, come down a few notches on the flirting. You sound like an asshole," Chandler said, chucking the box back at him. "Just relax."

"It's tough."

"Try."

Joey let out a snort as he continued to pack up Rachel's things. The rest of the time was spent in silence and when they were done, soon Monica and Rachel joined them in the bedroom. The smell of the aftershave and cologne was a give away that something had happened.

"What did you boys do?" Monica asked.

"We aftershaved and cologned his bed," Joey said.

"Seriously, guys? Why?" Monica said.

"Chandler told us to," Joey said.

"Chandler, really," Monica said, "now, we have to wash the sheets and-"

"Mon, no. No. Leave it," Rachel said, stopping Monica before she reached for the sheets.

"But it's gonna smell," Monica said.

"That's kinda the point," Ross said.

"Just leave it. He went to Aruba….our honeymoon, I don't know if he went with someone or he went alone and those messages, you heard them and they...this was my home, I was proposed to out there on that balcony and...I'm leaving and I thought those people were my friends and…." Rachel began crying again and Ross placed his arm around her. Rachel really did cry a lot.

"Okay, fine….let's leave it," Monica said.

"Yay," Chandler said.

Monica shook her head as Chandler placed his arm around Monica and Monica gently elbowed him. Joey noticed Ross and Rachel whispering to each other and he felt strangely left out. He was the fifth wheel. Rachel and Ross were giggling and Chandler looked back at them and then at Monica, smiling at her as she went to make sure everything was set. He did feel very much like he was watching two couples.

When they found themselves back in the city, Monica and Rachel retreated to the apartment to help Rachel unpack, Ross said he had to meet a friend so Joey, Phoebe and Chandler met up at a bar nearby. They were informing Phoebe on all she had missed over drinks and plates of fried food.

"Seriously, you should have come," Chandler said.

"I thought we hated her, Chandler. We spent five months like ripping her to shreds."

"I know, I know. But just...just give her shot. Come on, have I ever steered you wrong. I taught you how to drive."

"You did?" Joey asked.

"Oh, yeah. The first five months I lived here, Chandler taught me to drive, he helped me open a bank account-"

"Do you have a bank account?" Chandler asked, looking at Joey.

"Yes, I do. There's just nothing in it."

"We also went jet skiing and….we had so much fun," Phoebe said.

"That will still happen. Just give her a shot. I promise."

"She does cry a lot….although, every time I've seen her she's been in hysterics," Joey said. "Granted the times I've seen her have been at shitty moments in her life."

"She does have the ability to laugh, I've seen it and I will say, it was kinda cool that she didn't rat us out to Monica when we poured all that crap into the bed," Chandler said.

"I can't believe you boys did that," Phoebe said. "But…I just-"

"Look, if I can move past it and if Monica and Ross can move past it….come on, Pheebs," Chandler said.

"Maybe. I'll think about it."

"And those messages were pretty brutal, the ones her so-called friends left. Those were rough," Joey said.

"Yeah, with friends like those….you know, you're my second favorite girl. Okay?" Chandler said.

"I know. I will think about it. So how was packing?" Phoebe asked.

"I wish you had been with us. I was the fifth wheel."

"You were not," Chandler said.

"Oh, yeah. Because Ross loves Rachel and Chandler loves Monica. You and I are a team now," Phoebe said.

"Well, then you did not show good team work by bailing," Joey said.

"I had my reasons."

"Okay, can you two not do the 'Mondler' and 'Roschel' crap. It's all complicated," Chandler said.

"It's really not," Phoebe said.

"You don't know. Look, you two...I know both of you had issues with Rachel-"

"I haven't had issues," Joey said, cutting him off, "I just apparently was there when her friend bought drugs to kill himself."

"Well...yeah but….oh and Pheebs, you should have heard this one trying to talk to Rachel."

"I was flirting," Joey said.

"That was not flirting," Chandler said.

"Yes it was, you should try it," Joey said.

"That was not flirting, it was sexual harassment," Chandler said.

"Joey," Phoebe said.

"I can't talk to her. Every single time I look at her I think of that and it doesn't help that help that every time I've looked at her, she's crying."

"Okay, just both of you calm down. Be her friend. She doesn't know. Phoebe and I aren't gonna say anything. You were also not the one that stuffed the pills down his throat. He was clearly wanting to do it anyway and Phoebe….I've now watched hours of movies with her and helped her pack. She's not going anywhere and I think she's changed. Give her a chance."

"Alright," Phoebe said, letting out a sigh.

"Okay," Chandler said as he lifted up his drink. Joey and Phoebe followed and the three clicked their glasses together and drank.

"Oh, and Pheebs you wanna come over tonight? We're testing out hammer darts," Joey said.

"That sounds like the worst game ever," Phoebe said.

"It'll be awesome. Come over," Chandler said.

"Fine. I'll throw hammers into your wall," Phoebe said as they continued and Joey and Chandler began planning their hammer throwing. Once they got home that night, the game was in full swing. They began throwing hammers at the dartboard and with every hammer, there was a loud banging sound. Phoebe didn't play too much, she kept score while Joey and Chandler play. The noise was loud enough though to bring Rachel and Monica across the hall and into their apartment just as one of the hammers lodged into the wall above the board.

"What are you two doing?" Monica asked.

"Playing," Chandler said.

"Yeah, Rach….you live next door to these two bozos," Monica said.

"You wanna try?" Joey asked, holding out a hammer.

Rachel looked at Joey and at Monica. She slowly nodded as she grabbed the hammer and turned towards the dartboard and swung. She got a bullseye which caused the board to break and the hammer to become lodged in wall.

"Nice," Joey said.

"We need a new board," Chandler said.

"Or new brains?" Monica asked.

"Hey, you were in the ketchup commercial," Rachel said pointing at Joey. "And the Tom Petty video."

"Yeah, you know?" Joey asked, loving that.

"Of course….TV101, that's where I remember you from. I remember that show. It was cute," Rachel said.

"I love you," Joey said.

"I never watched it. It was up against Roseanne and Who's the Boss? Every Tuesday night, Ross, Lizzie….who was my girlfriend at the time….we'd watch," Chandler said.

Joey looked at Chandler. Where had he heard that story before? He knew he had.

"Do you have these on tape somewhere? I'd love them to watch them," Phoebe said.

"I do and I'll make you watch 'em all," Joey said.

"You know, I've always wondered if it really takes that long for Heinz to come out of the bottle," Rachel said.

Joey and Chandler exchanged a look as they both seemed to be thinking the same thing. They looked over at Monica who let out an annoyed sigh.

"I have a bottle of Heinz ketchup in my fridge-" Monica said.

"In the glass bottle?" Joey asked.

"Yes, I will go make some hot dogs," Monica groaned as she walked back across the hall with the others following her. As soon as the hot dog was finished, Monica handed one in a bun to Joey and Phoebe, Monica, Rachel and Chandler went onto the balcony. Joey kept running down the steps and when he got outside, he looked up to see the rest of them crowded on to the balcony, grinning at him but he didn't see the ketchup. Before he could react though, he was being drenched with bowls of water. Joey started laughing as he started looking down at his drenched hot dog. He looked up and took a big bite as he could tell the others were laughing.

His feelings of anxiety about Rachel were vanishing. He knew Chandler and Phoebe had his back and he really did love this group so much more than what he left behind. This never would have happened with Christopher or Shane. They would have beaten each other up, there would have been drugs or something or arrests. This just seemed so much more fun.

The fun continued with the promised hockey game with the boys. A few weeks later, the girls were having a girl's night and Joey and Ross decided to put their plan into action. At the Rangers game, they tried to throw popcorn at Chandler's head, ice, peanuts, Joey had even thought of trying relish but thought the better of it, not wanting to waste good relish. It was amazing fun trying to get his friend to break. He had never seen anyone watch a game the way Chandler did, his eyes glued to the ice. Joey even thought to stick a hot dog wiener in Chandler's ear but Chandler took the wiener and smacked him with it, while still looking at the ice. Ross began cracking up, Joey laughed as well. Chandler finally broke his gaze during half time and he was pissed.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?" Chandler asked.

"I feel like we should ask you that same question," Ross said.

"People do speak to each other at hockey games," Joey said.

"Those people are stupid," Chandler said.

"Liz told me that she once gave you a hand job underneath a jacket at a hockey game and you still wouldn't look at her," Ross said.

"When did you talk to Liz?" Chandler asked.

"Um….I remember she told me that in college," Ross tried.

"Oh," Chandler said, "you don't still talk to her, do you?"

"No. No, of course not," Ross said.

"Wait, a chick gave you a hand job and you were more interested in the hockey players?" Joey asked, purposely ignoring the fact that the name bugging at him. What was it about this person? He didn't know a Lizzie, he was sure of it.

"She's not 'a chick'. She's Lizzie and kept me alive through college which was a very difficult thing to do and….wait, Ross, you would tell me if you were still in touch with her, right?"

"Yes, yeah...of course. I haven't talked to her in years."

"Alright."

As the game began, Joey and Ross began trying to get Chandler to break again but instead the breaking was halted when a hockey puck almost broke Ross. A puck flew at Ross' face and hit him in the face so they ended up at the emergency room and then ended up crashing girl's night. Rachel, Phoebe and Monica were sufficiently drunk from Slow Death smoothies, Monica's concoction which had tons of alcohol in it. As Rachel went to comfort Ross, Joey and Chandler went to pour themselves some glasses.

"How's your face?" Rachel asked.

"Hurts," Ross said.

"Hey," Joey said as he opened the fridge and pulled out a large lobster, "why is there practically an entire lobster in your fridge?"

"Oh, that's mine. When I went out with my old friends today, they said they would pay for my dinner. So I ordered a fifty dollar lobster and a twenty five dollar glass of wine," Rachel said.

"Nice," Ross said.

"You're the best person ever," Chandler said as he walked over towards Joey. The two boys cracked open the lobster and began snacking on it.

"Are we playing Twister?" Phoebe asked, loudly.

"I wanna play Twister. I rock Twizzlers. Twizzer….Twist...what?" Monica asked.

"Wow, we gotta catch up," Chandler said as he and Joey inhaled their smoothies and poured more glasses.

"We should do naked Twister," Joey said.

"No. You're stupid. Hey, did you two try to break Bing at the game tonight?" Monica asked.

"No, we broke Ross instead," Joey said, walking past Ross and patting him on the back.

"Why did you try to break Chandler?" Rachel asked.

"'Cause he's a jackass," Joey said.

"Well, I know that," Rachel said.

"Funny, Green. How's your husband?" Chandler asked, placing around Rachel's shoulders. She laughed and shook her head as the group began to play Twister with Ross in charge of the board because of his nose. Even though Ross couldn't get drunk, the fun was still there. It seemed that Rachel and Phoebe were now friends as well. During a brief moment when no one else could hear, Phoebe whispered to him that Rachel was actually not too bad. They really seemed like a family and Joey felt kinda proud of himself for getting himself into this family. It was exactly what he had always wanted.


	16. Chapter 16

**October 1994-November 1994**

If anyone had told him that Monica Geller would end up being a wing woman for him, he probably would have just laughed but that was exactly what she was or at least for the night. Chandler and Phoebe were doing some double break up thing with Chandler breaking up with Janice and Phoebe breaking up with some dude who was in the midst of a hunger strike. Rachel and Ross were doing laundry and Joey just wanted to go out. He had gotten a part in a play called, "Freud!" and he had been spending many long days rehearsing so he wanted a night out and Monica was the only one available. Kristi was even busy and he still really didn't want to invite Christopher.

"I can be a good wing woman," Monica said as they sat side by side at Shoolbred's Bar, a few miles from home. Joey was trying his best but Monica as his wing woman seemed like the worst idea ever.

"It's like bar hopping with my mom," Joey groaned.

"Well, that's a compliment," Monica remarked.

"Sorry."

"No, you're not."

"I'm really not."

"You know, contrary to what you may believe and to what Chandler and Phoebe may have told you, the stick is really not lodged that far up my ass," Monica said which made Joey laugh.

"At least, you have a sense of humor."

"Have you met my friends?"

"Yes, I have. So why aren't you and the Chan man together?" Joey asked.

"Ehhh, I'm not drunk enough to answer that," Monica said.

"Well, then let's get you a drink. What'll it be? Amaretto Sour, Midori Sour, Sour Apple Martini….."

"Who do you think I am? Rachel? Come on. Scotch on the rocks….with a twist."

"Nice. Although, Midori Sours are good," Joey said as he ordered Monica's drink and a beer for himself.

"Thank you," Monica said as they found a couple seats at the end of the bar.

"So now can you tell me?" Joey asked.

"It's really complicated. I know you love him but...he's got some serious issues and I'm not sure he's aware of them."

"He seems like an awesome guy."

"That's 'cause he's paying for you to live."

"Is Rachel contributing?" Joey asked.

"A little. She just moved in though. She barely got her first paycheck but she's trying."

"Me too."

"So you've been arrested and-"

"Not talking about that," Joey said. "Have you ever done anything you regret?"

"Yes."

"No, you haven't."

"Okay, I haven't lived your life or Phoebe's….or Chandler's...but I have done stuff. I don't need to explain myself to you. You guys might think I have a stick up my ass but it's a very comfortable stick and I don't mind it at all."

"Okay….Dare?"

"I thought it was Truth or Dare?" Monica asked.

"Naaa, not in the mood for truth," Joey said.

"Okay….what?" Monica asked.

"Alright...see that guy over there," Joey said, pointing to a guy standing by the other side of the bar. Joey had noticed him staring at Monica.

"Yeah?"

"Go make out with him a little," Joey said.

"Joey," Monica said.

"What?"

"I-what-he is cute."

"I know," Joey said.

Monica seemed like she was thinking about it. She looked at Joey and pounded back her drink and walked towards the end of the bar. Joey watched as Monica was seemingly talking to the guy and before he knew it, Monica was making out with the guy. Joey's mouth dropped, watching as she kissed the guy and then walked away towards Joey.

"Done, another one please and also, I'm not like Chandler….you're buying," Monica said.

"Got it," Joey said, ordering another one.

"Okay, now….I dare you," Monica began, "oh, I got one….go up to a girl and get her number-"

"Really?"

"No, no. Not done, Tribbiani. You must also get three pieces of information about her life. Her name does not count. Although, you do need to get her actual name. I will also check this information."

"Okay, fine. Wait, you're making this into a learning experience. That's not how this game works," Joey said.

"You do it your way, I do it mine and by the way, the guy I made out with? His name is Kent, he's a doctor, he has two dogs named, Bert and Ernie and he's also gay. Way to pick 'em, Joe."

"Did you tell him about the dare to get him to make out with you?" Joey asked.

"Yep."

"That's not fair."

"Yes it is and by the way, he wasn't staring at me. He was staring at you," Monica said.

"Oh," Joey said, looking back at the guy who has made out with Monica and sure enough he was looking straight at Joey. Joey grinned at him, "how you doin'?"

"Really? Come on, it's my turn. Do my dare," Monica said, playfully smacking him.

"Alright," Joey said as he looked around and spotted a very pretty blonde girl. He grabbed his beer and walked over to the girl standing with her friends. He gently tapped her shoulder as she turned to face him.

"Hey there," Joey said before realizing, it was Brooke. Brooke from the show he had guested on for a few episodes the first time he was in Los Angeles.

"Joey Tribbiani?" Brooke asked as the two hugged.

"Brooke, what are you doing here?" Joey asked.

"I'm filming a show in New York and I just wrapped a TV movie that'll be on television next week? It's about the Menendez brothers."

"The kids that killed their parents?"

"Yeah," Brooke said.

"Cool. Well, welcome to my side of the country," Joey said.

"Hey," Monica said appearing next to them.

"Oh, sorry….Mon, her name is Brooke, she's filming a television show here in New York, she's from Los Angeles and was on a sitcom with a girl named, Jamie," Joey said.

"What?" Brooke asked.

"Hi, I'm Monica. I'm friends with Joey. He lives next door to me."

"I'm Brooke. Joey guest starred on a show that I was on a while back."

"I dared him to go up to a random girl and get three pieces of information about her," Monica said.

"Which I got," Joey said.

"A random girl. One you do not know," Monica said.

"This is random," Joey argued, "and besides you made out with a gay guy."

"Still I win," Monica said.

"And you know, her friend Jamie….it was her neighbors whom I had the lemonade threesome with," Joey said.

"She told me about that," Brooke said.

"Yeah, and on the first day I met him, I asked him in for lemonade and he took off his clothes," Monica said.

"You know, that's not actually a thing," Brooke said.

"It should be," Joey said.

"Are you still acting?" Brooke asked.

"Yes, I'm in a play. It's called, 'Freud'," Joey said.

"No, no, it's called, 'Freud!'" Monica yelled.

"You know, you don't have to yell it every single time," Joey said.

"Yes, I do."

"I wanna see it," Brooke said.

"See it. It premieres at the end of the month," Joey said. "Oakley Theater. Off Broadway."

"About ten miles off Broadway," Monica said.

"Stop talking," Joey said as Monica let out a laugh.

"I'll see it."

"Thank you, Brooke," Joey said. "Some people are supportive."

"Joey, we're going opening night and have listened to you practice singing the Freud song for a month and a half straight," Monica said.

"Wait, it's a musical?" Brooke asked.

"Oh, yes," Monica said.

"Okay, I'm so going. Joey…" Brooke reached into her purse and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, she quickly wrote down her information and handed it to him, "this is where I'm staying. Call me."

"I will."

Brooke gave him a hug and gave Monica a hug as well before disappearing to go find her friends. Joey let out a sigh as Monica took a sip of her drink as she looked at him.

"So, before you met us….I'm not the type of girl you would have ever been friends with, right?" Monica asked.

"That's not true."

"Joe."

"Alright, no."

"Figured."

"But….I'm happy I met all of you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Of course. I know you'll keep me in line."

"It's my job."

"Can I ask you something?" Joey asked.

"What?"

"Who takes care of you?" Joey asked.

"What do you mean?" Monica asked.

"Well, you take care of us but who takes care of you?" Joey asked.

"I can take care of myself."

"I'm sure you can….but maybe I can take care of you?"

"I'm not sleeping with you," Monica said.

"I'm not even talking about that but if you change mind…..no, look, I…just...in case you ever feel like you need someone you know, to do some damage….give me a call."

"Good to know," Monica said. "What kind of damage?"

"I don't have to tell you everything."

"You kinda do if you phrase it like that."

"No, you don't need to know."

"So….am I good wing woman?"

"No."

"Well, I tried….hey, you know why I won't go out with Chandler and I mean, I do love him. A lot but...he's been through some stuff and it was really hard to watch and if we went out, it would be even more painful because I-I can't lose him. I can't. He means too much."

"I get it but...I've seen the way he talks about you and-"

"I know...just no, I-I can't."

"Okay."

She looked really fragile to him in that moment. He wasn't sure what it was but there was something about her that seemed vulnerable. It was a flash of vulnerability, gone in a moment but it was there and in a second it was gone and suddenly she came up with a new dare for him, he had to talk to another woman. It was fun, much more so than he thought. He never thought hanging out with just Monica would be as fun as it was.

When they got back, Phoebe and Chandler were sitting at the counter playing quarters with each other. They stopped when the two walked in.

"So how was Monica as a wing woman?" Chandler asked.

"Not bad," Joey said.

"See, I can play," Monica said as she walked towards Chandler and sat next to him. Joey watched as Chandler placed his arm around Monica and she placed her arm firmly around his waist. Joey exchanged a look with Phoebe who seemed to read his mind immediately.

"Get a room, you two," Phoebe remarked.

"You know, I kissed a guy tonight," Monica said.

"Really?" Chandler asked.

"He was gay," Joey said.

"Still kissed him," Monica said.

"Are you drunk?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, a little bit."

"Alright, I'm gonna walk you back to your room," Chandler said as the two walked towards the door.

"Are you gonna take advantage of me?" Monica asked.

"I'd like too...just a little bit," Chandler joked as the two walked out the door. Joey let out a laugh as he sat across from Phoebe at the counter. Phoebe poured them a couple shots of tequila which they clicked together and drank.

"They're gonna make out, aren't they?" Joey asked.

"Probably, yeah."

"Why aren't they together?"

"I don't know. I think Chandler probably drinks a lot and Monica doesn't like it but...I don't know. She has her reasons but I do have to tell you, you and me buddy….we're a pair. Ross and Rachel. Monica and Chandler. They're each other's lobsters."

"I thought you were a vegetarian."

"Well, they're not gonna eat each other but they're each other's lobsters. Trust me, I know this."

"Are we each other's lobsters?"

"No."

"Good to know."

"You wanna play quarters?"

"Definitely."

Joey and Phoebe began playing which led to more drinking. Soon, Chandler and Monica returned with Monica saying she wasn't sleepy. Joey didn't quite buy that. The foursome continued playing, laughing and drinking more until Rachel and Ross returned with a basket of pink laundry which belonged to Rachel. Her first attempt at laundry had apparently gone horribly wrong which resulted in more laughter from the group. He was starting to get used to Rachel, pushing those images of his to the back of his mind. She wasn't crying too much anymore and he wasn't flirting. She was becoming a friend. A good one, at that.

So Freud! was not good. That was the lesson he was learning from that play and the reviews that went with it. He had invited everyone but on different nights. Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, Rachel and Monica on the first night, the other part of his life on another. That opening night though changed everything. In his years of trying to be an actor, he had put in the work. He had found auditions and gone to them but this play got him his first chance at representation. Someone else could find him auditions, could get him in to see casting directors. Her name was Estelle, she seemed old and smelled like cigarette smoke but it didn't matter. He had an agent. An agent who told him the rules, a SAG card. He needed one and he was able to get one, he had enough credits. He was officially an actor, this was his official job title. It felt strange saying that. He was an actor. This whole time, he felt like he was playing but when he held that SAG card in his hand, looked at his information, his name looking all professional. He was an actor and an actor who landed a part in the new Al Pacino movie.

Estelle had gotten him the role. It wasn't a big part. Actually, it wasn't much of a part at all. He would be Al Pacino's butt double. He didn't really care though. It was Al Pacino. He wouldn't really be meeting him either, but the idea that his ass could be mistaken for Al Pacino's ass was close enough.

Tony, Christopher and his family came towards the end of the run of the play. They stayed until the end like Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Ross had. They sat in the audience and Joey found them after.

"My little actor," Gloria said running up to him and hugging him.

"I'm official," Joey said, reaching into his back pocket, "look, ma, I got a card."

"Beautiful," Gloria said.

"Yeah, you're an ass," Christopher said.

"I'm Al Pacino's ass, dipshit," Joey said.

"Hey, there you are. I recognized you from your ass," Kristi said, walking over to them.

"Why do I tell people things? You know, hey…it's an Al Pacino movie," Joey said.

"I think your ass is actually lovelier than Al Pacino's," Gloria said.

"Nothing creepy about that statement, ma," Gina said.

"So what did you think, Tony?" Joey asked, sitting next to him.

"So this is what you do?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, it's official and everything. I'm an ass," Joey said.

"Been saying that for years," Tony said. "Good job, kid."

"You proud?" Joey asked.

"Very," Tony said.

"Except he's embarrassed and shit by us," Christopher said.

"I didn't say I was," Joey said.

Although the truth was that he was embarrassed mainly by Christopher. He just couldn't have Rachel and Christopher meet. Not that Christopher would ever say something to Rachel but with Phoebe and Chandler already knowing who Christopher was and what he had done, he just couldn't do it.

"I've met his friend, Phoebe. She's awesome," Kristi said.

"Have you met his Sugar Daddy?" Christopher asked.

"He's not my Sugar Daddy,"

"How do you afford that place?" Tony asked.

"You taught me well, Tony," Joey said.

"I wanna celebrate," Gloria said.

"Sparks. I got reservations," Tony said.

As they left, Joey noticed Tony lagging behind. He motioned for Joey to come over to him as they walked behind the rest of the group.

"So?" Joey asked.

"The play sucked," Tony said.

"I know….but, you know-"

"Hey, it's what you do and congrats on being an ass."

"Thanks."

"We miss you on the sites," Tony said.

"I'm done. Officially done."

"I know. Why don't you want us to meet your Sugar Daddy?"

"Not my Sugar Daddy and...I just...I can't….look, they know some shit, okay, and they're gonna know only what I want them to know. I can't...especially not Christopher, okay, he cannot meet any of my friends," Joey said, his voice becoming an angry whisper, "I'm now friends the girl whose friend he sold drugs too and if I-I-it would kill her if she found out the connection that Christopher has to her friend who died and I know that connection."

"Alright, " Tony said.

"Look, they're my family. Chandler Bing, Rachel Green, Monica Geller, Ross Geller, Phoebe Buffay. My own family and they're untouchable. Got it?"

"Got it," Tony said, "come on, kid….show me that ass."

"You're just jealous."

Tony laughed as they walked out of the theater and joined everyone at Sparks where he ate a lot, drank a lot and loved being surrounded by family. He didn't want to admit it but he did miss hanging with them. He felt so different in both worlds but when it came time for Thanksgiving, he wanted to choose his new world. He wanted to choose spending time with his new family, something that of course did not go over well with his family.

"You're gonna miss Thanksgiving to spend with your friends?" Gloria asked as he visited and sat at the table while his mom made him some lasagna.

"Well, just as well, he has VD," Joseph Senior said.

Joey let out a snort. He did not have VD. It was a modeling job. He didn't know they were going to put him on a poster for VD.

"I don't have VD," Joey said, "look ma, it's fine. I'll come the next day."

"It's not Thanksgiving and don't these new friends of yours have families?"

"Monica and Ross' parents are out of town and I don't think Phoebe or Chandler have families to celebrate with and Rachel...her parents are going somewhere. I think she's going to Vail. Look, I-I will be here the next day. We'll have a family day."

"We are your family," Gloria said.

"Look, I get you're trying to leave us all behind but you can't forget where you came from," Joseph Senior said.

"I don't forget it. I just….don't want any part of it." Joey said.

"Have dinner with your friends then come here and you'll have more dinner," Gloria said.

"I don't…."

"Joe," Gloria said.

"Fine."

Thanksgiving was a bit of a disaster when Underdog got away. Monica had burnt all of the dinner because the keys were locked inside the apartment so the meal was over grilled cheese sandwiches that Monica had made for Chandler. Chandler had made a toast and Ross had suggested skiing in the Catskills because Rachel hadn't been able to make it Vail and Joey knew he'd have to make an exit. He had to visit his family. He told them he had to run to his parents even though they all thought he had VD and then went to another Thanksgiving Dinner with his family. He had another dinner and sat on the couch surrounded by his sisters, his parents, the Sopranos and tons of family. Kristi and Christopher plopped down next to him.

"How's your VD?" Kristi asked.

"I don't have VD," Joey said.

"That's what people who have VD say. What are you doing tomorrow, man? Let's do some shit," Christopher said.

"I'm….I'm going skiing," Joey said, "in the Catskills. My friend, Rachel, she was supposed to go to Vail to ski but now we're going to the Catskills."

"What the fuck happened to you man?" Christopher asked.

"What do you mean?" Joey asked.

"You've gotten soft," Christopher said.

"I have not gotten soft. I'm just….it's different besides, I'm looking forward to skiing. It should be fun," Joey said.

"Come with me on a run," Christopher said.

"No, I'm not doing that shit," Joey said.

"Because you're an ass with VD?" Christopher asked.

"Neither one of those things are true," Joey said.

"He's embarrassed by you," Kristi said.

"I'm not-I cannot introduce to my friends, Christopher. I-one of those friends, you sold drugs to her friend and he's dead."

"Which friend?" Christopher asked.

"The one who came to your apartment before I moved out," Joey said.

"I don't remember that shit," Christopher said.

"Whatever," Joey said.

"You're forgetting your roots. You've become a Hollywood shit, VD Boy, " Christopher said.

"I'll knock your teeth in," Joey said.

"Boys, come on," Kristi said.

Christopher let out a snort as he walked off leaving Joey and Kristi alone on the couch. He did start to wonder though if there was some truth to the statement. Was he forgetting his roots? Forgetting where he came from? He wasn't sure? He had tried so hard to forget his past, was he forgetting where he had come from?

Once at the Catskills, the group split up in pairs to go skiing or at least Ross and Rachel did. The two went off together to ski by themselves while Phoebe and Joey, Monica and Chandler tried splitting up but instead just kept coming together. Phoebe had never skied before but she seemed to be a natural. The foursome just ended up hitting the slopes together. While going down one slope after the other, Joey kept thinking about his family, about his roots. Standing at the top of one hill, first Monica and Chandler decided to race down together leaving Phoebe and Joey ready to go.

"Wanna race?" Phoebe asked.

"Sure…..hey, do you forget where you came from?"

"No, I lived in a junkyard."

"I know. Its just….my family keeps saying that I'm forgetting where I came from and that I've gotten soft."

"Oh."

"I so badly wanted to forget that part you know but-"

"No, no, you're not forgetting where you came from. I don't. It's a new chapter. You can't stay on the same chapter of your life, that's boring. You still can go back to the old chapters but this is a new one."

"It's a better one."

"Well, we're happy to have you," Phoebe said.

"Yeah...so I'm gonna go kick your butt," Joey grinned and proceeded to ski down the hill with Phoebe skiing behind him. Maybe Phoebe was right, this was a new chapter. He wasn't ignoring the old ones, just starting new ones.


	17. Chapter 17

**Seriously, guys don't all review at once! ;) I got one review for the last chapter so...two reviews for this one? Or can we go crazy, even shoot for like three! Let's review!**

 **January 1995-March 1995**

He was pacing back and forth nervously in his living room. It was his twenty seventh birthday and Monica had made him. She made him invite his whole family and his parents had wanted to see his new life as well. So he relented and did it, not everyone. He did not want the Sopranos anywhere near them. He didn't even want Kristi there either so just his parents and his sisters and nephew. It was just too much.

"Why are you so nervous?" Phoebe asked sitting with Chandler on the couch as Joey kept pacing.

"Yeah, what do think's gonna happen? I think it's gonna be fun, we'll see Joey's world," Chandler said.

"Ooo, Chandler….we should totally start packing heat," Phoebe said.

"Wow, that sounds like a horrible idea," Chandler said.

"Joey's probably packed heat," Phoebe said.

"Have you?" Chandler asked.

"I'm not...I-yes I have," Joey said, rather matter of factly.

"Did you shoot someone?" Chandler asked.

"He's so mysterious," Phoebe said.

"He really is," Chandler said.

"You know, I didn't lead a glamorous life before you two," Joey said.

"Neither did I, duh. I mean, at fourteen I was homeless 'cause my mother killed herself, at sixteen I was almost stabbed to death and then I had to work for a pimp because I stole his car and then crashed it. He had some anger management issues and then…I mean, I was in juvie for a year because I stabbed a cop….so my life wasn't glamorous either," Phoebe said.

Joey and Chandler both looked at Phoebe as she simply shrugged. He looked over at Chandler who just laughed.

"Oh, she knows what she's saying," Chandler said.

"Okay, you can't ask them things and….it's just gonna be my sisters and my parents and….my nephew is pretty awesome. But seriously…."

"No Christopher?" Chandler asked.

"No. Never," Joey said.

"What about Kristi?" Phoebe asked.

"No, besides she's working," Joey said.

"Street corner or pole?" Chandler asked.

"Pole. She's not a prostitute, she's a dancer," Joey said.

"And a porn star," Chandler said.

"Adult Film Actress. I will never let you meet her," Joey said.

"Yeah, I don't think you're mature enough to meet her," Phoebe said.

"I am too mature. I'm more mature than you….butthead," Chandler said.

"No you're not."

"Yeah, I am."

"Okay...how do you feel about marriage and serious relationship commitment?" Phoebe asked.

Chandler stared at her blankly before turning back to Joey.

"So, Joe….seven sisters, big family," Chandler said.

"It's gonna be fine. What are you so worried about? Are you thinking Chandler's gonna embarrass you?" Phoebe asked.

"Hey," Chandler said.

"No, no. I know….I don't know what they'll tell you guys."

"Contrary to popular belief, I have been to a few parties before. Like more than five and typically most party conversations revolve around work and hobbies….usually they don't revolve around things like, 'hey, how many times has your child been arrested,'" Chandler said.

Joey let out a laugh as he tried to calm himself. Chandler and Phoebe were right. He didn't have anything to worry about. It would be a nice little get together. His new friends meeting his family.

It was going surprisingly well as his apartment was soon filled with his sisters and his parents. Everyone seemed to be getting along.

"So you were worried, sweetie," Gloria said as she approached Joey and gently put her arm around him. "I told Tony he couldn't come. No Christopher, no one. We're all having dinner tomorrow though."

"Am I being an ass? I just don't want 'em knowing. I don't want them to see that side. I don't want them to know…."

"I get it and honey, I am so proud and I'm not going to lie, you had me worried. I knew you couldn't do that life."

"Yeah, you always know," Joey said.

"A mother knows her kid," Gloria said, "and I raised a good one."

"Thanks," Joey said.

"Lovely party Joey," Tina walked over to him, sipping wine from a red solo cup.

"Thanks, where's your husband?" Joey asked.

"We're getting a divorce. He just left and he's not calling me back and then I just got divorce papers. He's not even talking to me anymore. I'm twenty two and divorced," Tina said.

"I have a friend I can set you up with, there's Ross," Joey said pointing towards him standing by the bathroom talking with Rachel.

"I'm trying to get him not to divorce me. We're twenty two, I mean, we're like old," Tina said.

"I'm twenty seven," Joey said.

"You're old too," Tina said.

"Although, I want you to find a wife. I want a daughter in law," Gloria said.

"Ma, I'm not getting married," Joey said.

"Yeah, can you imagine our brother? Married?" Tina asked.

"Oh G-d, that would be hilarious," Dina said.

"Girls, give your brother a break. It could happen," Gloria said.

"It's not gonna happen," Joey said.

"I want a grandchild from each one of you, it's only fair," Gloria said.

"Hey, there's my boy," Joseph Senior said, walking towards him with an envelope. He placed his arm around Joey and led him away from his sisters and mother, "where's that roommate of yours?"

"Over there," Joey said, pointing towards Chandler talking with Monica.

"Here's some money," Joseph Senior said, handing him the envelope.

"Dad, come on," Joey said.

"No, it's for him. I'm not letting my kid be a mooching freeloader," Joseph Senior said.

"Yes, but that's what he likes about me," Joey grinned.

"Take it," Joseph Senior said.

Joey let out a snort as he took the envelope and peered inside. It was filled with cash, he did want to ask a few questions as to where the cash came from. It seemed like a lot.

"Where did you get this?"

"I told Tony, we're helping you out," Joseph Senior said.

"I don't want to be in debt to him," Joey said.

"You already are," his father said as he tapped him on the back and walked off. Joey let out an annoyed sigh as he walked towards Chandler and Monica.

"Hey, Chan….can I talk to you for a sec?" Joey asked.

"Sure," Chandler said.

Joey opened his mouth and looked over at Monica. He really didn't want to do this in front of her. Monica seemed to get the hint.

"I'll go check on the cake," Monica said as she walked off. Joey motioned for Chandler to follow him towards Chandler's bedroom. Chandler looked at him as Joey shut the door and handed him the envelope.

"My dad and my uncle wanted to help me out…..and pay you back...a little," Joey said.

Chandler opened the envelope and peered inside. He let out a gasp as he looked at Joey, shocked.

"Shit, Joe. There's like a couple grand in here. Where did it come from?"

"I wouldn't ask questions."

"I would."

"Look...just don't…."

"Joey, who do you know?"

"People. I really….just take the money."

"And do I pay someone back? Am I on the hook for-"

"No, no...just take it. I don't...not now."

"Alright….are you connected to the mob?" Chandler asked.

"No," Joey said, rather quickly.

"Liar. You're not that good of an actor."

"Ouch," Joey said, feeling slightly wounded. He knew Chandler was messing with him, but still.

"Alright, whatever it is….I won't tell. Thanks for the cash. I'll buy you an ice cream," Chandler said as he walked towards his nightstand and placed the envelope in a box before turning back and walking towards the door.

"You know, thank you," Joey said.

"One day, you're gonna have to tell me everything."

"Ehhh, you're a movie guy. That's not how plots work. Gotta have a little mystery."

Chandler let out a laugh as the two walked out of Chandler's room to rejoin the party. It was a fantastic party and he was impressed that his friends seemed to accept his family and vice versa. He walked over to the counter where there was a bar set up. He noticed his twelve year old sister, Dina, drinking something from a red cup. He cracked open a beer as he tried to look in the cup.

"Are you drinking alcohol?" Joey asked.

"Oh, like you're one to judge me."

"I can judge you."

"I wanted to invite Meadow but mom and dad wouldn't let me."

"Sorry, it's complicated."

"It's just I don't get it. I mean, dad can see his girlfriend anytime he wants but I can't invite my best friend to a party because you're embarrassed. Like, whatever...I think we need to be embarrassed."

"Wait….what?" Joey asked.

"What?"

"Dad's girlfriend?"

"Oh my G-d, you really have been out of touch. Gina," Dina said, flagging Gina down.

"What?" Gina asked.

"Joey doesn't know about dad's girlfriend?" Dina asked.

"Oh, yeah….some pet stuffer. It's been going on for a few months," Gina said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Joey asked.

"Cause you've been busy," Dina said.

"Does ma know?" Joey asked.

"Of course, she's totally fine with it," Dina said.

"What?" Joey asked, looking towards his mom who was talking with Rachel, Phoebe and Monica. His dad was talking with Ross and Chandler. Had he really been that out of touch that he hadn't realized his dad was cheating or that his parents were having any sort of problem? He walked towards the center of the room, not sure who to talk to first. Maybe his mom first? But then if his dad was cheating, maybe he should talk to him? His dad cheating started to make him upset the more he thought about it. His dad had gotten upset about him not paying Chandler and had judged him but what the senior Joseph was doing was far worse. He slowly approached his mom who seemed to be telling Monica some recipes.

"What'cha doin' ma?" Joey asked.

"She's telling me how to feed you," Monica said.

"I'm just standing," Rachel said, shrugging.

"Me too," Phoebe said.

"Doin' a lovely job. Mon, feeds me well," Joey said.

"I know, but I could always get some more tips. I've been buying a lot more groceries since you moved in here," Monica said.

"Oh, I understand," Gloria said.

"You had to feed a family of ten people," Joey said.

"Yes, but you still ate most of it," Gloria said.

"Alright, Mrs. Tribbiani, I'm gonna grab some more appetizers. I'll be back. Rach, Pheebs come on."

"You know, we don't really wanna come with you," Rachel said.

"I know. Come on," Monica said as they walked off. Joey laughed as Rachel let out a loud groan.

"Ma, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, honey."

"Does dad have a girlfriend?" Joey asked.

"Well...we call her a hobby?"

"What? Wait, are you getting divorced?"

"No. Don't be silly," Gloria said.

"But-"

"Don't worry about it, honey. You got your life here. Look, Tony cheats on Carmela. Carmela turns a blind eye and so do I."

"Is dad doing runs for Tony?"

"No, no….of course not. Look, just….don't worry about it. You've got a new world here. It's all good," Gloria said, she patted Joey's cheek as she walked off. He stood there stunned. The whole thing seemed insane. He looked over at his dad, still talking to Chandler and Ross. His mom now talking with his sisters. Everything kept so quiet. It felt bizarre. He tried to keep it to himself throughout the rest of the party but he kept looking at his father a little differently and started to get angrier. It didn't seem fair. He walked towards his dad talking to Chandler and Ross about something.

"Heard about your pet stuffing girlfriend," Joey said walking over to them. Chandler and Ross immediately exchanged uncomfortable looks.

"Excuse me?" Joseph Senior said.

"Hey, Geller...you wanna go….over there," Chandler said, pointing off to a random spot.

"I really do," Ross said as the two walked off leaving father and son staring at each other.

"You're gonna get on my case about owing fucking rent money and you're fucking another woman on ma's watch," Joey said.

"Language, Joe."

"I'm twenty seven, I don't need to fucking watch it."

"Look, it's not a big deal and you're one to talk and your mother doesn't mind."

"I do."

"'Cause I raised a kid who knows how to treat a lady, come on, Joe," Joseph said, rather sarcastically.

"I wanna punch you so badly right now."

"Why do you think you're not rotting in a prison cell right now?"

"Tony."

"Who do you think paid him? All four times. You haven't a clue how much you owe. So before you run your mouth, you better watch it," Joseph Senior said, glaring at him before walking off. Joey let out a breath, feeling the anger rising up in him. He so wanted to hit something, someone but he couldn't do it with the other five there. He couldn't punch anything, they really couldn't see that part of him, the violent side. It was repressed. He needed to push it down.

"You wanna hit something, don't you?" Chandler asked.

In his blind anger, he hadn't noticed Phoebe and Chandler approaching him. He could barely speak.

"My father is having an affair but my family is gonna pretend like it's no big deal. I just….I'm just like that….I think….I don't know…."

"Hmmm," Chandler said as he turned to look at Phoebe and suddenly poked her in the side.

"Why?" She asked as Chandler kept poking her, tickling her. She kept laughing as she tried to bat his hand away, "get away from me," she was laughing which made Joey laugh. He appreciated it.

"Thanks," Joey said as he looked over at Chandler who was still poking Phoebe in the side as she was laughing. Monica, Rachel and Ross soon approached them.

"Why is Pheebs laughing?" Rachel said.

"He won't st-stop it-" Phoebe said, still laughing as Chandler still kept tickling her.

"I love this game," Ross said as he walked over to Phoebe and poked her in the side as well.

"Ross, you do not love this game," Phoebe said, laughing so hard she could barely contain herself.

"Mon, could you do me a favor," Joey said as he draped an arm around her.

"Sure."

"Make sure I don't turn into my dad."

"What?" Rachel asked.

"My dad is cheating on my mom, my mom knows but we're just gonna keep it a secret," Joey said.

"Weird," Rachel said.

"Oh, don't worry. By the time I'm done with you, you will be in a committed relationship where you're faithful and treat her with respect and quite possibly you'll have a child of your own," Monica said. Joey just kept staring at her as she grinned at him, "I'm just that good."

"Or terrifying," Rachel said.

"That too," Monica said as she gently put her arm around his waist, "look, you're here. You left whatever the hell it was that you left. Shows me that you're better than you think you are. Give yourself some credit, Joe. You earned it."

He truly hoped she was right but it did concern him. Would he really leave his past? Could he actually escape or would he just end up like his family, no matter what he did? He was twenty seven and couldn't help but think about the fact that he had really never had a serious relationship. He just had a lot of girls. Could he actually think about dating? About actually meeting someone? Or would he just end up like his dad or like Tony? The thought frightened him as it seemed no matter how far he ran, he could never really escape anything.

Maybe his desire to move forward, to try actually dating was the reason he ended up on a date with Ursula Buffay, Phoebe's twin. She looked identical to Phoebe of course but there was something different about her, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He and Chandler had lunch at Rif's, the restaurant Ursula worked at, and Joey had asked her out. It was his effort to try to not be like his family, to not be like Tony or his dad. After his twenty seventh birthday, nothing was ever mentioned again about his dad's girlfriend and even at dinner the next night with Tony and the other Sopranos, still nothing was mentioned. He just wanted something different, a life that was different so there he was, with Ursula sitting across from her at Cantina.

"You like Mexican food?" Joey asked.

"It's alright."

"So I think-I know a lot about you….from Phoebe and-"

"No, you don't. Phoebe chose to be homeless. She ran away and abandoned me. After our mom died, after the funeral, she ran away and I didn't see her for eleven years. I was taken in by a Swedish couple and then my grandmother got custody of me and honestly, what she did was stupid. She could have had a home. I ended up going to high school and having a life. She chose the street."

"Well, she has a home now. She's living with your grandmother."

"I know. But you know everyone thinks she's so brave but she's not. She chose to make it more difficult. She even had a friend, Leslie who would have taken her in but she made her choices."

"Hmmm, you do not like Pheebs do you?"

"I don't approve of the things she's done. I mean, she didn't have to run that day. She didn't."

Joey nodded, listening. It was strange how different the two were and sitting there, he wasn't sure he could do a second date or any date with Ursula. She was pretty, she looked like Pheebs but it didn't feel right. Maybe he wasn't ready to try and find someone to seriously date or maybe it just was Ursula? He wasn't sure.

After the date, he found Phoebe at Central Perk reading a magazine and sitting alone on the couch. He wasn't sure where the others were but he didn't really care. It was Phoebe who he was more excited to see.

"How was your date with my sister?" Phoebe asked.

"She hates you."

"I know."

"Pheebs, why did you run? I mean, Ursula said you didn't have to run. You didn't have to be homeless for ten years, you didn't have rob a store…." Joey said. Apparently, Phoebe had at one pointed robbed Rachel's aunt's store years ago while Rachel was working.

"'Cause I had to-"

"Why?"

"Because I had to because I didn't wanna end up in foster care. I was fourteen, no one's gonna adopt a teenager."

"Someone took Ursula."

"Great and what if they split us up which they probably would have because Ursula would not have wanted us together-"

"Would she have been allowed to make that choice?"

"I don't know, but I didn't wanna take that chance."

"So you ran?"

"Hey, fuck you….you ran too."

"My story is a little different," Joey said.

"No, it's not. You don't think I have some idea as to what shit you've been involved in. Why are you not in prison? You can get twenty years alone for rape and two DUI's? Come on, Joey, I'm not an idiot. How were those charges dropped? Oh, and a bar fight? How did they all get dropped?"

"I don't wanna tell you."

"We do what we have to do to survive and I did what I needed to do. So maybe it wasn't what Ursula thought I should do but you know what, we were never that close in the first place and also….I fucking hate that you went out with her tonight," Phoebe said, her eyes filling up with tears.

"Oh, Pheebs…..I'm sorry."

"Are you gonna go out with her again?"

"Probably not. If I wanna go out with someone who looks like you, I'd….go out with you."

"That's sweet. I know you wanna try dating….it's just not my sister."

"Got it. I just wanna be different. I mean, my dad is cheating on my mom and it's...it's….no one cares and my uncle cheats on his wife and she knows and….and I wanna be better. I wanna….I hope I can be better. You know, her name was Monique."

"Monique?"

"The girl that I-I-"

"Raped?"

"Yeah. I think about it all the time and it's funny because I never remember half the girls I've hooked with but I won't forget her and I keep thinking….is the reason I won't date or actually have a girlfriend is because….look who I have in my life."

"No," Phoebe said, "you have me and Monica and Rachel and-and maybe when you meet someone….she'll be worth it. Worth being faithful too."

"I'm so glad you're here Pheebs."

Phoebe smiled as she leaned in to kiss him. He cared so deeply for her. He loved Phoebe, more than Ursula. Phoebe would keep him straight, keep him in line. As would Monica and Rachel, but there was just something about Phoebe. Something that connected him to her, she meant more to him than Kristi or Rachel or Monica. Phoebe got him.

His past still kept crawling into the present. His dating habits, all of it and of course, Brian. That kid would never leave. Rachel was applying for a job at Sacks and it was Brian's old job. He tried not to listen as Rachel practiced her interview skills over a poker game. He concentrated on his cards, not wanting to focus on the fact that Rachel was bringing up memories. The others kept trying to calm Rachel while he stared at the cards in his hand.

"...oh, I want it and it was Brian's old job. This has to mean something...I mean, Pheebs, you're into all that universe and sign crap, doesn't me interviewing for Brian's old job mean something?" Rachel asked.

"Kind of….it is strange," Phoebe said.

"Or it could mean, if you take it, you'll die," Joey mused looking at his cards. He cringed a little saying that, he knew he shouldn't have as he looked up and noticed everyone staring at him, "what?"

"Too soon, Joe. It will always be too soon," Rachel said. "Oh and he took me to New York Fashion Week. I remember that….and he took me to the after parties. What if I get the job and I can take myself to New York Fashion Week and go to the after parties. Those after parties were amazing."

"I used to go to those," Joey said. "They were like in lofts and crap."

"How? How did you get in?" Rachel asked.

"I'm an actor and I used to hook up with a bunch of models that walked those shows," Joey said, remembering the one he had gone to. He remembered being there with Kristi and that model, Kendall. Kendall had let him stay at her place, he wondered if she was available. Maybe Kendall would go out with him. She'd be impressed with him.

That fashion show memory came back again in the form of a photograph. Rachel and Monica stormed into the guys' apartment as they were watching Baywatch and dropped a photo in Joey's lap. He picked it up, recognizing Brian's face instantly not wanting to let anything on, of course.

"What?" Joey asked.

"Look in the background. Do you see someone who looks familiar?" Rachel asked. Joey looked at it. He noticed himself and Kristi behind them and suddenly he remembered. He remembered hitting on Rachel. He remembered Rachel being bitchy and he remembered walking behind them and flipping them off. In the photo, it was impossible to tell that. He had to suppress a grin, remembering that moment. Instead, he glanced at Rachel.

"We were at the same party?"

"Oh my G-d….you hit on me at that party."

"I did. You were there-"

"With Brian."

"I had just gotten back from Los Angeles," Joey said, immediately thinking of Shane.

"Oh my G-d….that's….oh, we knew each other," Rachel said.

"So...how you doin'?" Joey asked.

"Really?" Rachel asked, shaking her head as she grabbed the photo back.

"What are you thinking about?" Monica asked.

"How much fun that night was. I loved sitting there and watching the shows and going to the after party where Joey hit on me," Rachel said.

"So maybe you shouldn't give up," Monica said.

"You're giving up?" Joey asked.

"I don't know," Rachel said.

"Well, that's dumb," Chandler mused.

"Thank you," Rachel said.

"What? Don't give up. That's dumb. You didn't get one job….there will be others," Chandler said.

"You're paying your dues," Monica said, putting her arm around Rachel to comfort her.

"I'm paying my dues," Joey said.

"No, dude...I'm paying your dues," Chandler said which made Rachel laugh as she looked back at the picture.

"You know what you can't see in that picture," Joey said, staring at the television.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"I'm flipping you off," Joey said.

"What?" Rachel asked, stunned as Monica grabbed the picture to look at it. Chandler immediately ran to Monica's side to investigate as well.

"I had just come back from L.A. and my friend had just died and you were a bitch," Joey said.

"I was not," Rachel said.

"Oh damn, I wish you weren't blocking the camera Rach," Chandler said.

"You were," Joey said.

"Well, I'm sorry," Rachel said.

"I can't see it, can you see it?" Chandler asked.

"No," Monica tried.

Rachel plopped herself down on the couch next to Joey and gently patted his knee.

"I'm sorry your friend died," Rachel said.

"Thanks….strangely enough, I miss him and I'm really sorry about Brian."

"It's not your fault," Rachel said.

"No," Joey said, quickly glancing at Chandler who was still looking at the damn picture with Monica. "But I'm still…sorry."

"Thanks," Rachel said as Joey turned back to the television. Monica and Chandler soon joined them back on the couch to continue watching. Joey was still trying to concentrate as he looked at the photo again. He had been in Los Angeles and had come home to bury Shane. He noticed Kristi as well. He kept thinking about Shane. He hadn't thought about Shane in so long and he missed him in that moment. He wondered what Shane would think of his new life, wonder if Shane would think he has gone soft. It all just seemed so surreal to him, this world he was living and yet he just felt he would have no choice but to keep living in it.


	18. Chapter 18

**March 1995-December 1995**

Kristi showed up at Central Perk while he was sitting by himself, drinking coffee. Being the only partially employed member of the group came with certain perks or downsides. While everyone else was at work, Joey had some downtime. His agent had sent him a pile of scripts to look through and he sat, reading while Rachel served him his coffee and chocolate pastries.

"See, I'm not sure why you wanna quit, I'm enjoying this so much," Joey grinned as he held up his cup for Rachel to fill.

"You need a job."

"I have a job," Joey said, holding up a script.

Rachel let out a laugh as she walked off just as Kristi walked in. It was that moment as she stormed in and sat next to him, his eyes widened. Ever since Rachel began working at Central Perk, he had not wanted Kristi to meet him there. He still had not brought Christopher around.

"Joe-"

"Kris, Rachel is working. Why are you here?"

"I don't care about your rules, Joey. I need to talk to you."

"Okay."

Kristi let out a sigh, her eyes looked filled with worry. Joey was starting to get concerned.

"I'm pregnant," Kristi said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"What?" Joey asked.

"I'm pregnant."

"Is it mine?"

"Joey, when was the last time we had sex?" Kristi asked.

"Well….okay...wait, you're pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"So...what are you gonna do?" Joey asked.

"I don't know. I can still dance until I start showing and then...I don't know, maybe I can do some specialized films and…."

"Sure, when actresses on television get pregnant, they usually have really big bags and stuff in front of them but...you do porn-"

"I'm an adult actress."

"Wait, wait...dance until you start to show? You're not still gonna strip are you?"

"Dancing. I'm a dancer and an adult film actress," Kristi said, enunciating every single word.

"You're a stripper and a porn star."

"You're a freeloader. Where's your sugar daddy?"

"At work...okay, I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. You think you're better than us 'cause you got some sugar daddy-"

"He's not my sugar daddy, you know I'm starting to think you don't know what that means."

"Screw you," Kristi said.

"Who's the dad?"

"A guy."

"Which guy?"

"I'm not gonna tell you."

"Why not?" Joey asked.

"Because when I told him I was pregnant, he demanded a DNA test, called me a lying whore and walked out and if I tell you...it'll be like the casting director all over again who is still missing."

"I didn't do anything to that guy."

"I know but you told Tony to."

"I had to," Joey said.

"No, you didn't."

"Hey, you want any coffee? Joey, you wanna introduce me to your friend?" Rachel asked, walking towards them holding a pot of coffee.

"Yeah, Rachel, this is my friend Kristi. Kristi, Rachel."

"Nice to meet you, are you an actor like Joey?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, she wishes," Joey muttered. Kristi glared at him and let out a snort.

"I'm in adult films," Kristi said.

"Porn, she's in porn," Joey said.

"Oh….well, Joey loves those," Rachel said. "Um...so okay, it's getting kinda awkward here so I kinda wanna leave but um….do you want anything?"

"Yeah, can I have a non fat dirty chai latte, large with two pumps of espresso and is it possible to get a little bit of vanilla in there," Kristi said which caused Joey to start laughing.

"Oh, that's way too complicated for her. Make it less words," Joey said.

"Joey," Kristi said.

"Oh, no he's totally right. I'm gonna fuck that up 'cause I'm not even sure I know what you just said and I forget already. How about coffee with some milk in a to-go cup?" Rachel asked.

"Done. Perfect," Kristi said, laughing as Rachel walked off to get the Kristi her coffee.

"I wasn't trying to be mean to her...she's just not good at this job."

"At least she has a job," Kristi said. "You know, you need to grow up."

"You're gonna have a kid and be a stripper. You're writing your own porn."

"Be supportive."

"Who's the dad?"

"I don't trust you with that information," Kristi said. "What happened to the casting director?"

"He was missing."

"Is he still alive?" Kristi asked.

"Probably not,"Joey said.

"I need you with me, alright me. Support me. You've been my friend for how long and...and you may cling to these new friends and try to forget us but I know you. I know you better than these new friends. I know what you've been through, what you've done and what you've gotten away with," Kristi said.

"I'll support you, of course I'll support you...I just don't want you doing...this."

"You don't get to make that choice."

"I know and it's probably a good thing you don't tell me who the dad is…'cause I would kill him," Joey said.

"I know or you'd hire someone."

"I'd tell Tony."

"You miss it?" Kristi asked.

"The old life?"

"Yeah. Do you miss it? 'Cause...I know you've cut us all off but…."

"Hmmm, well," Joey began as Rachel approached them with a mug of what looked like tea.

"Okay, so here's your chamomile tea. Be careful, it's hot and...your plate of madeleines," Rachel said.

Kristi cocked her head to the side and looked confused as Joey started laughing.

"I told you," Joey said.

"What? Oh, I'm sorry...you wanted hot chocolate and a bran muffin," Rachel said.

"Sweetie, it's okay. I'm alright," Kristi said waving her hand. "I like chamomile tea and madeleine cookies as well."

"Alright you sure?" Rachel asked.

"I'm fine, thank you sweetie," Kristi said as Rachel walked off to help another customer. Kristi and Joey both began laughing as Kristi reached for a cookie.

"And you thought I being an asshole when I told you to use less words in ordering your coffee," Joey said.

"My apologies. She's not very good."

"No. No, but she's….she's pretty awesome though. She was the one that was friends with Brian."

"Oh."

"I still….it's why I can't have them meet Christopher. Rachel's sweet and all those guys, the five of them….they're all ridiculously awesome and-and I'm lucky but um...do I miss it? I don't know. I keep alot of stuff hidden and I don't get angry as much. None of them have seen the violent side yet. I like this coffee shop. It's cute and I never thought I would be the type to hang out in a coffee shop."

"Phew, oh, that was alot of work," Rachel said, plopping down next to him on the couch.

"Aren't you still working?" Joey asked.

"I am on a break," Rachel said.

"Didn't you just take a break?" Joey asked.

"Bite me," Rachel said, "so you're in porn?"

"I prefer adult film actress," Kristi said.

"That's fine, okay. So how long have you known Joey?" Rachel asked.

"Since kindergarten," Kristi said.

"Interesting. So there's a bunch of crap Joey doesn't want us knowing, so can you tell me?" Rachel asked.

"Totally," Kristi said.

"Miss, can I have some coffee?" A customer asked raising his hand while sitting at a table by the window. He was staring at Rachel.

"Ugh, I better get that," Rachel said, letting out a grunt as she got up to go continue working. Joey and Kristi both laughed.

"Rachel's awesome," Kristi said.

"She's alright."

"So, I've met Phoebe and Rachel. Eventually I'll meet the others but...you're happy."

"Yeah, I am. I really am," Joey said.

"Good," Kristi said as she reached for his hand to squeeze it. He did miss hanging out with Kristi so much but his new life, this made him happy. Very happy.

Soon though, the group dynamics began changing. Ross' ex-wife gave birth to a baby boy named, Ben and soon after while he was in China, his crush on Rachel came to light. It seemed to be a big deal but while that was going on, Joey kept a watchful eye on Kristi. He really did want to be there for her. He was there at doctors' appointments and wanted to be with his friend. He watched as she began to show and went with her to look at new apartments. While Rachel was pining away for Ross, while Ross was being a new dad and in a new relationship with a woman named Julie, he focused on Kristi.

It was now late July, it was sticky hot out and Kristi was miserable and four months pregnant. Joey stood by her as she got her ultrasound. It would be to determine the sex of the baby. Joey held her hand as she lay there.

"So do you wanna pick a name?" Joey asked.

"I have a few picked out. Joey….thank you, I know I haven't….thank you for being here these last four months-"

"I don't want you doing this alone. I can't let you do this alone. You and me...you were right. I love those five but you...you know stuff…."

"I know and thank you for moving me out of that apartment. Hey, I'm now closer to you."

"Yeah. You'll babysit so….you're not dancing, right?"

"I can't but still acting, some guys get off on that shit," Kristi said.

"Are you gonna stop when the baby's born?"Joey asked.

"Baby, I don't know."

The doctor soon came in and Joey continued holding her hand as she was examined. Maybe Christopher was right, he might be getting softer. He could feel himself tear up as he watched the ultrasound images. He felt tears come down and he quickly wiped them away as the doctor told Kristi would be having a baby girl.

"You're crying?" Kristi asked.

"You're having a baby," Joey said.

"You're sweet," Kristi said as he leaned down to kiss her. Kristi was truly his closest friend. They had been through so much and he could not wait to be there when she gave birth. He would have to be.

After dropping Kristi off at her new apartment and making sure she was comfortable, he returned to Central Perk to see the girls sitting together. Rachel was still complaining about Julie, Ross' new girlfriend, while Monica and Phoebe seemed bored.

"Where were you?" Phoebe asked.

"With Kristi at the doctor's. She's gonna have a girl," Joey said.

"Awww, Joey why don't you date her?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, you clearly like her," Rachel said.

"No, she's….she knows too much. She won't tell me who the father is," Joey said. "She knows but she also knows if she tells me...well, I'm protective of her and there was a time several years back where she ran into some trouble with a guy and I took care of it."

Rachel, Phoebe and Monica exchanged rather concerned looks as they looked back at Joey.

"How did you take care of it?" Monica asked.

"No, no...better question….do we wanna know how you took care of it?" Rachel asked.

"No, you don't need to know but if the three of you ever need me to take care of someone…." Joey said.

"No, no," Rachel said.

"I'm good," Monica said.

"There is an annoying guy at my gym….no, you know what, I'm good," Phoebe said.

"But that's why she won't tell me," Joey said.

"Wait, would you really do something to the guy if she told you who it was?" Monica asked.

"Hell, yeah I would. Look, you three, Kristi, my sisters…family. No one messes around with my family, got it," Joey said.

"How 'bout Julie….where's your stance on her?" Rachel asked.

"Not the same," Joey said, "no. She didn't wrong you."

"Yes, she did," Rachel said.

"No, she didn't," Monica said.

"G-d...why did you guys have to tell me about Ross' crush. Now, it's all I can think about," Rachel said.

"You could think about work," Monica said.

"Why?" Rachel asked.

"'Cause that's what you're supposed to be doing right now," Monica said.

"Screw you," Rachel said as she got up and went to work. Monica and Phoebe both let out a laugh as they looked over at Joey.

"So, why again can't you be with her?" Monica asked.

"I don't know….she knows too much. She's seen me at my very worse and it's...I just want to be there for her and besides, I'm not sure I could date someone with a kid. Even if it's Kristi."

Joey leaned back against the chair and watched as Rachel went from table to table. He looked over at Phoebe and Monica who began a conversation of their own and soon they were joined by Chandler and Ross. He kept thinking about Kristi, about her baby. He kept thinking about how separate everything was and how it simply had to remain that way.

Soon, summer turned to fall and that October he had gotten his first experience with Chandler truly flipping out. He had never seen anyone react to the death of an annoying neighbor the way Chandler had. Mr. Heckles was obnoxious and creepy and Chandler had been convinced he would end up alone like Mr. Heckles. Joey found the whole thing quite bizarre. Chandler even went as far as to call his ex girlfriend, Janice who ended up being married and pregnant. He wasn't sure why Chandler had reacted the way he had and while they sat at Central Perk, Monica was telling them about a fight she had with Chandler where he had walked off. Chandler was indeed missing.

"I get so annoyed," Monica said.

"Mon got mad," Phoebe grinned.

"He deserved it. The man is twenty six going on twelve and Joey, I blame you," Monica said.

"Why do you blame me?" Joey asked, confused. He wasn't sure how any of this was his fault.

"You encourage him," Monica said.

"I did not tell him to call Janice," Joey said.

"Guys, do you think Bert and Ernie are gay?" Phoebe asked which caused looks from the group.

"Where did that come from?" Ross asked.

"We were talking about Chandler and Joey. So obviously that made me think of Bert and Ernie," Phoebe said.

"Oh, you are so right," Rachel said.

"We are not gay puppets," Joey said, which was such an odd comment. Rachel, Monica and Ross all seemed to agree with Phoebe. While Joey thought it was better than Chandler being referred to once again as his sugar daddy, he still was rather confused. Soon though Chandler did join them and he seemed drunk. He stumbled towards the table and plopped himself down.

"Chandler and Joey," Rachel yelled.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Rachel thinks you and Joey are like Bert and Ernie," Monica said.

"Hey, Rach...when are you running off that cliff?" Chandler asked.

"No, no...I'm totally right," Rachel said.

"You are not right," Joey said.

"I am right. You two are so Bert and Ernie," Rachel said.

"Alright, we only bathed together that one time...it meant nothing," Chandler joked.

"Dude, not helping," Joey said, deadpanned.

Chandler laughed as he looked over at Ross, "guess who I saw at Pub 2?"

"Who?" Ross asked.

"Lizzie," Chandler said.

That name? Why did that name sound so familiar. Who was Lizzie? He knew she was Chandler's college girlfriend but that was about it.

"Really?" Ross asked.

"The 'oh, crap' girl," Joey said.

"Yeah, she has a kid. She has a five year old," Chandler said.

"I bet it's yours," Joey said, grinning. Wondering if that would make his friend freak out again.

"It is not. I asked. But I went into Pub 2 and I had six beers-"

"Six beers?" Monica asked, "We saw you three hours ago. Yeah, what drinking problem?"

"Yeah, what drinking problem? Anyway, she kept giving me beer," Chandler said.

"She wanted a tip," Rachel said.

"Here's a tip, don't drink six beers in three hours," Monica said.

"Mon," Ross said.

Joey kept watching Chandler. He was uneasy in his talk, his walk and he was clearly drunk. Monica seemed upset and he wondered if maybe, just maybe Chandler might have a drinking problem? Monica refused to get involved with him, she was annoyed that he drank. Could it be possible?

"I'm fine...anyway, I saw Liz," Chandler said. "She looked good, tired."

"Maybe you could ask her out," Ross said.

"No, she has a kid. I can't date someone with a kid and….she's still hot," Chandler said.

"Did she mention me?" Ross asked.

"Why would she mention you?" Chandler asked.

"Well, weren't you all like best friends in college? It's a fair question," Rachel said.

Ross let out a sigh, "yeah, just wanna know how my old friend is."

"Yeah, no, she didn't mention you. She talked about her kid. Really cute," Chandler said.

Joey's mind started spinning though. Chandler's behavior seemed so new to him. He watched closely as his friend got up. Monica got up with him and helped him as he stumbled towards the counter to get coffee. Joey looked over at Ross and gently smacked his arm to get his attention.

"Is this normal?" Joey asked, whispering.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Him freaking out like this? Drinking this much….is this all normal?" Joey asked.

"Yep….welcome to the group," Ross said.

Joey nodded as he continued to watch Chandler. Monica held fast to her stance that she would never date Chandler, that it was hard and there were complications. Perhaps these were the complications? He thought immediately of Shane and the promise he had made to his friend. If he had another friend who suffered, he would not let them fall and if Chandler had a problem, he would not let him fall.

That night though during a late night viewing of Die Hard, Joey wondered if he should say something to his friend. Maybe he should mention the drinking or the flipping out? It just didn't seem normal to him.

"Hey, Bing….can I ask you something?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, what?" Chandler asked, pausing the movie.

"Well, do you usually drink that much and-"

"I'm fine. Look Monica and Ross overreact about my drinking."

"Okay, but six beers in three hours?"

"It was actually like ten."

"Wow...and I mean, the...the way you reacted to Mr. Heckles dying just seemed-"

"Joe, I'm fine. I am. Believe me, I don't have any sort of drinking problem. I just freak out about stuff, it's who I am."

"I know...okay, it's...well, if you need me-"

"I'm fine and I'm not talking about it anymore," Chandler said as he pressed play on the movie again. It did concern him. It concerned him a lot. It was a side he wasn't used to, he liked the joking Chandler, his playmate. It felt like maybe something new was happening, a new side that maybe he needed to pay close attention to.

Of course by the next day, everything had been forgotten. They were all going to have dinner at Ross' so that they could get to know Julie better and Chandler had decided to tease Joey and rent Joey's old porn movie. He could be upset, but he thought it was hilarious that Chandler had put in that much effort and he didn't mind the movie. What he did mind was Rachel who seemed to ask question after question until she finally asked Julie what was in a Cobb Salad and the night came to a long awaited end.

"I'm outta here," Chandler said, getting up. Joey and Monica followed suit. It had been such a fun evening. He had even enjoyed watching that porn but Rachel's constant questioning made it unbearable. He also missed Phoebe who hadn't gone to the dinner because she was meeting with that Duncan guy who was her husband.

"But I think….but…" Rachel tried but Chandler, Joey and Monica were out of the apartment and walking down hall. They finally made it outside when they noticed Rachel wasn't with them.

"Do you really think she's getting a recipe for cobb salad?" Joey asked.

"I've never seen someone work so hard to prolong two people having sex."

"I don't wanna think about that," Monica said as she wrapped her arm around Chandler's waist.

"Thanks for ditching me, guys," Rachel said as she stormed towards them. "And Joey...you suck."

"Let them have sex," Joey said. Ross had at first asked Rachel about having sex with Julie and Rachel had given dumb advice wanting them to wait and Joey just told Ross to get over himself and do it.

"For the love of G-d, change the subject," Monica said.

"But-"

"Rachel, we had been there for like six hours. We love you but….that is excessive," Chandler said as Rachel groaned, clearly annoyed.

Rachel was still complaining about Ross as they walked up the stairs to their building. They were absolutely exhausted but as Monica opened the door to her apartment, Joey noticed Phoebe turning towards them in tears.

"Phoebe?" Monica said.

"He divorced me," Phoebe said as she started crying, "and where the hell have you guys been?"

"Oh my G-d," Monica said as she walked in the apartment, Chandler, Joey and Rachel following. Monica sat on the couch and quickly pulled Phoebe into a tight hug. Rachel sat on the other side of Phoebe and gently stroked Phoebe's back.

"Oh, Phoebe," Rachel said.

"See, had you let us leave and not interrogated Julie, we could've been helping Pheebs," Joey said, looking at Rachel.

"Shut up," Rachel said.

"He dumped me...he's not gay. He's getting married. To a woman and that's why he needed a divorce...he was supposed to...he promised he wouldn't leave. Shit...why do people keep leaving me?" Phoebe asked.

"We're not leaving," Monica said.

"We're not going anywhere," Rachel said.

"Men leave me...my dad, step dad...Lowell from the streets, I haven't seen him in years. David left for Minsk, Duncan divorced me...they always leave," Phoebe said.

"I'm not going anywhere...although, Joey and I may have to go down to that ice show and kick some ice dancer ass," Chandler said.

"Oh, we could take him...we should go now," Joey said. He hated seeing Phoebe like this and immediately he thought of Tony. Maybe he might need to put in a call.

"No, he's probably not there now. It's almost midnight," Phoebe said.

"Rachel, see what you did," Joey said.

"Go home," Rachel said.

"G-d, I'm such an idiot," Phoebe said.

"No, you aren't," Monica said.

"Oh please...Mon, you can say 'I told you so,'" Phoebe said.

"I'm not going to," Monica said.

"You know, our wedding was fantastic. It was in Vegas. Chandler, your dad had on a stunning black gown when he married us-" Phoebe said.

"Of course he did," Chandler said.

"Then he got us into his show and he sang Madonna songs. So pretty and fun...we kissed, Duncan and I. Oh, G-d...that whole year. We went to Prague. I cleaned the costumes of the ice dancers...although he did abandon me in Prague. My twentieth birthday, he should have been with me. None of what happened would have happened had he been with me. Maybe that was a sign," Phoebe said.

"What happened?" Monica asked.

"Oh, I can't tell...there might be a statue of limitations on stealing clothes from boutiques in Long Island," Phoebe said, looking over at Rachel and then back at Monica, "but there's no statue of limitations on what I did."

"What did you do?" Monica asked.

"I killed someone...in Prague," Phoebe whispered,"Duncan was the only one that knew that and if you guys tell-"

"We won't...'cause then you'd leave us...and that would be horrible," Monica said.

"No Pheebs...if you left, I couldn't go on," Rachel said.

"I know I couldn't," Chandler said.

"Me neither," Joey said, his heart dropping a little. Phoebe had lived a rough life and it made him feel bad.

"Thanks, guys. But okay, in Prague, I um...it was my twentieth birthday and I had been partying a lot alone...Duncan's not a partier and there was a guy, Tomas. Big guy...scary guy, I was kind of hooking up with him, but it wasn't serious. At least, I didn't think so...I had been dancing with some random people that night and he got angry and took me back to his apartment where he tied me up and spent twenty four hour hours raping me and beating me."

"Oh my G-d," Rachel said.

"He eventually passed out and I somehow freed myself and stabbed him. Because his drug and alcohol levels were so high, his death was ruled accidental. After that night, Duncan never left my side," Phoebe said.

"Wait...why did he let you go out to clubs alone in a foreign country?" Joey asked, although not sure that was he should be concentrating on. He thought about that guy that Phoebe had killed, he treated her bad. He wondered if he was just as bad? Was he just as awful?

"I can take care of myself," Phoebe said.

"No...no, if I'm with a girl in a foreign country...I don't let her go clubbing alone. That's not okay, Pheebs. Even I wouldn't do that and I do a lot of things," Joey said.

"Yeah, it's really not okay," Chandler said. "Come on, when you first moved in and we would go out clubbing...just the two of us and we were here in New York, would I leave your side?"

"No," Phoebe said, smiling. "I know he wasn't perfect but G-d, I loved him and I felt safe. Being with him on tour and in Prague, it was the first time I got my own room. That first night, I took a shower and watched television. I was paid and my job was relatively easy. I was able to save up for a little bit of school. He was my first true love. Technically, I lost my virginity when I was raped by a pimp, but I don't think of it that way. I consider Duncan my first."

"Phoebe, how many times have you been raped?" Rachel asked.

"Twice...over and over again, by Tomas in Prague and the pimp guy...although I had to work for the pimp guy to pay off the damage I had done to his car after I tried to steal it and crashed it...so more than that, I just blocked out those encounters," Phoebe said.

Joey started to feel nauseous. He was just as bad. He had taken advantage of Monique. Phoebe had been in Monique's position. He was awful, every part of him was awful.

"Wow...honey, that's...wow..." Rachel said.

"I've almost lost my life a few times as well...but Duncan was there and...I thought he would always be there. Is it okay if I spend the night?" Phoebe asked.

"Of course," Monica said.

"You wanna sleep in your old room?" Rachel asked.

"No, it's okay," Phoebe said.

"You sure?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah," Phoebe said.

"How did you get through all this, Pheebs? How did you survive?" Rachel asked.

"I had to," Phoebe said.

"G-d, you're amazing," Rachel said.

"Thank you," Phoebe said as Rachel gave her a hug.

"I'll be right back," Chandler said, getting up.

"You going to kick ice dancer ass?" Joey asked.

"No. I'll be back," Chandler said as he walked out of the apartment.

"You know, I'm getting a second wind here. I'm gonna make the five of us some slow death smoothies," Monica said getting up.

"Maybe you can make Rachel a Cobb Salad," Joey grinned.

"Bite me," Rachel said

"What happened tonight? You must have had fun at Ross'. You were there a long time," Phoebe said.

"It was fun...until Rachel decided she needed to ask Julie questions in order to prolong Ross having sex," Joey said.

"Did it work?" Phoebe asked.

"No. I tried...but no. You know, Mon, I'll help...I think we need to speed up the death process of the slow death smoothies," Rachel said as she got up and walked towards Monica in the kitchen. Joey moved to sit next to Phoebe. He placed an around Phoebe as she fell into him. He wanted to say so much, but he couldn't find the words.

"I met Duncan after I saw you at that construction site," Phoebe said.

"Who was more good looking?" Joey asked, wanting to make her smile.

"Please. You, no contest. I should've called you. Maybe if I had called you, I would have gone out with you and never would have fallen for Duncan," Phoebe said.

"Well, you're here now...we'll take care of you," Joey said.

Phoebe smiled as Joey gave her a kiss on the head. He looked at her and felt queasy again. Phoebe seemed to read his mind.

"You're sweet, Joe."

"No, I'm not. You...what I did to Monique, those guys did to you and...I-that-I wish I could take it-"

"Hey, listen to me. You are not a bad guy. You are not a monster," Phoebe whispered. "I do not put you in the same category as those guys. You're my sweet Joey."

"I wanna kill those guys."

"I know," Phoebe said as Joey tried comforting her. Chandler soon walked back into the apartment with a VHS cassette tape. He walked towards the couch and looked at Phoebe and Joey. Monica and Rachel were still in the kitchen making the smoothies.

"We're not watching my porn again," Joey said, rolling his eyes.

"I wanna watch your porn," Phoebe said, looking at Joey.

"This is better," Chandler said, handing Phoebe the VHS tape. She smiled when she saw the cover. It was a tape of Hot Dog: The Movie.

"Hot Dog: The Movie," Phoebe said.

"I was going to give it to you for Christmas, but I thought you could use it now," Chandler said.

"Thank you," Phoebe said, standing up and gave him a hug. "Can we watch this now?"

"Sure," Chandler said

"I've never seen this," Joey said, confused.

"It's a classic," Chandler said as he went to set up the movie and when he returned to the couch, he took a seat next to Phoebe. Joey had since learned a little bit of the story. Chandler and Phoebe had had an interaction when they were younger. Phoebe was sixteen, Chandler was fifteen. Chandler and his friends had gone to see some movie and Phoebe was there, Chandler had paid for the movie and asked for her number which Phoebe could not give him.

"You think it still holds up?" Phoebe asked.

"Doubt it. It sucked then," Chandler said.

"You know...both of you...thank you. Chandler, seeing that movie with you...I got to feel like a typical kid for a few hours. You have no idea how much that meant to me. I laughed so hard."

"I'm gonna try to make you laugh again with this movie. I love that laugh. It's the most amazing laugh in the world," Chandler said.

"It truly is," Joey said.

"Thanks and Joey...you, when I saw you at that construction site and you completely objectified me, it made me feel so pretty...although, well, you might not remember this, but I do. When you were like fourteen, did you go to Times Square on New Years Eve?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah. Me and...oh, crap...some girls. One did my homework...actually both of them did. I definitely got laid that night," Joey said.

"Man, you were like a ninth grade pimp," Chandler mused.

"Yep...they called me, Big Joe."

"You are full of crap," Chandler said.

"I know. But I still got laid," Joey said and he did secretly want that nickname to catch on.

"Well, okay, Joey...do you remember...you got a lot of food and you gave your mozzarella sticks away...I guess I looked...well, I know I looked hungry. I was. You asked if I was okay and if I wanted to sit with you and your friends."

"Oh my G-d...wait, I do remember that. That was you?" Joey asked. He definitely remembered that. He remembered how sad she looked, how he and his friends had gone looking for her. He remembered it, it was Phoebe.

"My mom had passed away like a week earlier...that meant so much to me and I remembered you and every year I'd go to Times Square on New Years Eve in hopes of seeing you there. But I didn't...then I saw you again when you were nineteen and at that construction site and I was so happy but just like when I met Chandler and he asked for my number and I couldn't give it to him because I didn't have one...I knew I could never call you. But both of you boys...thank you."

Phoebe grabbed both of their hands as they both kissed her on the cheek and soon the movie began put he just could not pay much attention. It was too much. Phoebe's story was too much. He needed to do something. He wanted to do something to Duncan, how dare he do that to her? This was Phoebe.

The next morning he was still upset as he and Chandler ate cereal together. He wondered if he should reach out to Tony.

"What's going on?" Chandler asked. "You seem to be taking a lot of aggression out on Capt'n Crunch."

"No, I just keep thinking about Duncan and Phoebe….we need to do something."

"Agreed. What an ass."

"You agree? Well, okay….I'll make a couple calls."

"Wait, I agree but...I don't know...what calls?"

"Just...we won't hurt him really but if he has to sit out at a few ice shows well-"

"No," Chandler said.

"What?"

"Okay, I have a feeling I know where this train of thought is headed and I'm gonna jump off before it crashes and kills us all."

"I'm not gonna kill him. I'm not gonna hire someone to kill him, just rough him up."

"Okay, that's why Kristi doesn't want to tell you who the father of her child is and besides, okay, Phoebe loved this guy, she married him...you think she's gonna be okay with you hiring someone to kill him? That will hurt her more. Let's not. Let's go with funny, not scary."

"What are you thinking?"

"Sending him baskets of gay porn?"

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay, that's funny...but-"

"No, look...funny. I like funny," Chandler said.

"Alright….do you think I'm as bad as those guys? Duncan and...Tomas and-"

"No, no...not at all."

"Really?"

"You're not a monster, Joe. You're a good guy. You may know some pretty terrifying people but you're a good guy."

"I was listening and I thought of Monique and-"

"Different. You didn't torture her...you just didn't listen real well when she said no."

"I'm being selfish, I know but-"

"Don't worry about it."

"Alright. You take care of the revenge," Joey said.

"Oh, I will."

Joey laughed as Chandler went into detail as to what he would do. He still thought of Monique, of the stories, the mistakes he has made. He wished he could erase them, do something else. Anything else.

Ross and Rachel finally got together that November but it was short lived when Ross had to decide between Julie and Rachel and wrote a list that Rachel had found. Then in December of 1995, another birth happened. Kristi gave birth to her baby girl and Joey was right there with her. He held her, cheered her on and when Kristi's baby, Ashley was born he felt like crying again. He held Ashley in his arms, watching her as she cried and reached up towards him. He felt different, looking at her. She was gorgeous. Kristi was gorgeous. He never wanted to leave her or leave Ashley. He would continue to be there, never leave and protect. Ashley was yet another girl he would have to watch out for, he had no choice. It was how he would move forward.


	19. Chapter 19

**So...some of you were wondering how all these stories come about and if I do copy from the others when I fit them together. So here we go:**

 **1\. Phoebe's story was the first one and I really didn't know where I was going or what I wanted to do but I knew I wanted to delve into her dark past because Phoebe really is an interesting character. The story for the other characters was unknown because I really was only going to do her's and Chandler's.  
**

 **2\. Chandler's was next because he's my favorite and the most fun to write. I used Matthew Perry's own addiction stories to help with Chandler and I took whatever scenes Chandler was in during Phoebe's story and used those and expanded. I also knew I wanted to give him a girlfriend that you all apparently hate because she's not Monica which was Lizzie and I knew I wanted to do Monica's next and I wanted to go into how this character lost so much weight in such a short amount of time. I'm not sure I did the greatest job at showing it.  
**

 **3\. Monica's was next and like I said, I knew I wanted something to have for Monica's story. I also wanted to give her other friends so I used the characters from Cougar Town (Courteney Cox's other show) because I didn't like the idea of Monica of being so dependent on one friend who was clearly not that good. Once again, I took the scenes with Monica that I had written where she's either with Chandler or Phoebe or both and incorporated both but tried to make it from her side. This is also where the idea was born to have Joey have some mafia ties.**

 **4\. Rachel-I loved writing her too and wanted to give her that conflict between who she wants to be and who she is. Now for her, I still took every scene she had with Monica, Chandler and/or Phoebe and tried to use them but turned it around. Some scenes I did not use because I just felt it really had nothing to do with Rachel. For example, there's a scene where Chandler has his birthday in a comedy club, there was no reason for me to tell that from Rachel's side so I deleted it but I did have it for Monica and Ross because it would be important for them but I do cut and paste all the scenes and put them side by side. I also began adding a lot more stuff, conversations became extended and ideas were hatched like Rachel hooking up with Chandler's dad. I really am making this up as I go along and I also started to get excited about Joey being part of the mob. I knew I needed some things to make Ross and Joey's stories interesting because let's be honest, those two guys aren't the most exciting.**

 **5\. Ross-this was difficult and I wanted to put more stuff in like him knowing Lizzie which of course needed to make some of the conversations different or extend the conversations because up until Ross' story, no one had spoken to Lizzie since college. I wanted to give him a double life so I thought Lizzie might be interesting and once again, yes, I cut and paste all the scenes on to one word document and deleted scenes that the "starring character" is not in. So anything Ross was not in, gets deleted first and then I delete any scenes that don't really do much for the character with the exception of scenes where they realize they had an interaction earlier 'cause those are fun.**

 **6\. Joey-the Sopranos stuff started as a way to make this character a little more interesting and I'll match up what I can and try to explain things differently. Like I said, I'm making stuff up as I go along that's why some conversations don't always fit. I might do a full "True Story" and just combine them all but that will be in different parts because that story would be so long.**

 **February 1996**

1996 was starting to look good, very good. Joey had auditioned for Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days of Our Lives. If he got the part, this would be his first recurring television role in years. His last series was Vince and Bob and that had been years earlier. Since then, it had been a series of bit parts and failed auditions, but this. This could be his break.

"What if I get this job? I could be on Days of Our Lives," Joey said as he sat with Chandler and Ross at the table, eating pizza while Monica and Phoebe were going through a box of Monica's old things that the Geller parents had dropped off. Joey kept glancing through the script, reading through and putting it down. This was almost too good to be true.

"That would be amazing," Ross said

"I know, then you can finally start paying half the rent," Chandler grinned.

"How are you still not paying half the rent," Ross said.

Joey reacted to that, he was getting a little annoyed. Sure Chandler was paying for him but there was no reason for them both to gang up on him.

"I gave you twenty bucks last week," Joey said.

"Of my money. You asked to borrow twenty bucks, I gave it to you and then you gave it back to me," Chandler said.

"Yeah, and?" Joey asked.

"Give me my money, bitch," Chandler said.

"I thought we were brothers, man," Joey said, he knew Chandler's weakness by now. While he did honestly consider Chandler a brother, somehow saying that sentence out loud made Chandler give in to anything he asked.

"You know, we're not actually brothers," Chandler said.

"I don't see it that way," Joey mused.

"Hey, you're the one who's been letting it go on this long," Ross said.

"Yeah, you have no one to blame but yourself," Joey said.

"I can't even….I tried…." Rachel groaned as she walked into the apartment.

Rachel was clearly not in a good mood. Ever since that damn list, Ross and Rachel had been fighting or ignoring whatever feelings had been there. He wasn't really sure, he wanted to focus on the audition.

"Wow, you had a huge nose, Rach," Phoebe mused, looking at a yearbook that had belonged to Monica. Rachel plopped down next to Phoebe on the couch.

"Wow….thanks, Pheebs," Rachel said, giving her a look.

"Just saying. You want me to lie?" Phoebe asked.

"I'd appreciate that, yes," Rachel said.

"Huh, I wonder what this is?" Monica asked as she grabbed a VHS tape from the box. "Oh, my G-d….Rachel. Prom. You wanna go back to 1988?"

"Oh, yes….it was so much easier," Rachel said.

"I don't know. I spent 1988 in Prague cleaning ice dancer costumes and getting sexually assaulted by strange men," Phoebe said.

"Stop it," Rachel said, angrily.

Joey remembered instantly what he was doing in 1988. He had been arrested for raping Monique. He had been on TV101 with Monique. It had all been awkward. He wondered about her. Monique. Wondered where she was? If she was still acting.

"Why are you in such a pissy mood?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know," Rachel said turning to stare at Ross, "you want a list?"

"Alright, I have told you…..it was Chandler's idea," Ross argued.

"Joe, script please?" Chandler asked taking the script out of Joey's hand, rolling it up and smacking Ross with it, "leave me out of this."

"I wanna watch this," Monica said.

"You know, we don't have to watch this," Ross said.

"I want to….I wanna wax nostalgic about your hair," Chandler grinned.

"Joe, script?" Ross held out his hand, Joey handed him the script. Ross rolled it up and smacked Chandler with it as Joey laughed. This was becoming a fun game.

"You wanna watch, Rach?" Monica asked.

"Sure and if I remember prom correctly, Chip almost stood me up and hooked up with that slut bitch, Amy. Hey, but at least I was the goddamn homecoming queen. Sure, Mon pop that sucker in," Rachel said.

"Hey, Coyote….running off the cliff soon? Chandler asked, grinning.

"Hey, loser...I'd ask you what you were doing in 1988, but I'm sure it involved being blacked out and drunk off your ass," Rachel said.

"Yeah, a lot of it….yeah," Chandler said.

"Joey," Rachel said.

"I got it," Joey rolled up his script and smacked Chandler with it. Chandler laughed as he got up and walked towards Rachel, throwing his arms around her and hugging her as she squirmed. As they got ready to watch, Joey tried to recall his prom. He was pretty sure he had gone with Kristi but wasn't sure about anything else.

"Oh, Rachel….I love you, you're so awesome," Chandler cooed.

"Get away from me, loser," Rachel yelled. Monica put the tape in the VCR and pressed play. Rachel managed to escape from Chandler and ran towards Monica. The two sat side by side and linked arms as they watched.

"We really don't have to watch this," Ross said.

"Whoa, some girl ate Monica," Joey said, pointing to the camera as Monica's former heavier self appeared on screen. It was so bizarre watching this. Monica looked a lot heavier than she did now. She was very tiny now.

"The camera adds ten pounds," Monica tried.

"Uh-huh, exactly how many cameras are on you?" Chandler said.

"Ross?" Monica asked.

"Got it," Ross smacked Chandler upside the head. Chandler appeared stunned as Monica grinned happily. Rachel started laughing as well, her mood improving.

"She did lose a lot of weight though," Joey said, "hey, Mon...how did you lose so much weight?"

That statement seemed to land like a lead balloon which seemed confusing. Monica, Ross, Chandler and Rachel all seemed to exchange very uncomfortable looks. Joey glanced over at Phoebe who looked back down Monica's high school yearbook.

"Um, diet and exercise," Monica said before turning back to the television. Joey tried to pay attention to the video which featured Rachel and Monica in their 80's glory. Rachel's nose looked different too but Joey still could not shake that really awkward feeling. He felt Chandler gently hit his leg to get his attention. He looked over at Chandler who looked around the room to seemingly make sure no one was paying any attention to him before bringing his hand to his mouth, pretending to wipe his mouth as he mouthed the words, "later" to him. Joey nodded although he kept staring at Monica. What had she done to lose weight? Something to make everything awkward? He was mesmerized by the video and soon the 80's version of Ross appeared on screen.

"Hey, how you doin' Mr. Kotter," Joey joked. Ross had a big afro and a mustache back then, he looked ridiculous. The rest of the video continued and soon it ended on Ross. Rachel's date to prom almost stood her up and Ross was going to take her but her date arrived at the last minute. Ross looked so sad.

"Oh my G-d….Ross," Monica said.

Joey watched as Rachel slowly walked towards him. She walked towards Ross and soon they were kissing, they were officially a couple.

"You really were gonna take me to prom?" Rachel asked.

"Yep," Ross said.

"You were gonna take him to prom, remember? Chip wasn't there yet and I told you to ask Ross," Monica said.

"Yeah and I kinda wish I had gone with you," Rachel said, looking at Ross, "I would have had far more fun."

Ross and Rachel kissed again and soon walked back to the couch. It was a perfect ending but Joey couldn't stop thinking about Monica. She had lost so much weight, that was clear but how had she done it? He needed to know more. It began to dawn on him how much he needed to know. Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler went back many years, what other secrets did he need to be filled in on?

After dinner and after everyone decided to call it a night, Joey and Chandler decided to play some foosball over more snacks and beer at their place and that's when Joey decided maybe then to broach the subject.

"So Mon and her losing weight? It got very awkward. What happened?" Joey asked.

"Yeah….she lost like about 150 pounds in less than a year….she did it by um, making herself throw up," Chandler said.

"What?"

"Just between you and me. She'll kill me if she knows I'm telling."

"I won't but really….she's bulimic?"

"I don't think she's done it in awhile, although back in college she um ended up in the hospital-"

"Holy crap."

"Yeah. She...we don't like to discuss it but yeah….she's...that's how she lost it."

"Well, thanks for filling me on all of this," Joey said, stunned. Monica seemed like the rock of the group.

"I have to...wish I had filled you on that a little earlier but I gotta catch you up to speed."

"Did you do that with Pheebs?"

"Oh, yeah. I had a lot more work to do with her. She missed ten years of everything."

"Rachel had a nose job, though?" Joey asked.

"No shit," Chandler said. "Look, if you need to know, just ask. I'll tell you."

"She's okay, though? Right?"

"Rachel or Monica."

"Monica."

"I think so. She was so pissed at me though," Chandler grinned.

"Why?"

"The night she landed in the hospital. It was around my twenty first birthday, when she got out, I took her to a frat party and got so wasted and she felt abandoned and stole my Corvette and drove herself home."

"Nice...wait, you had a Corvette."

"I've told you about Sally."

"No."

"Oh…..ohhh….hold on," Chandler said as he walked into his bedroom. Joey quickly played a move on the foosball table although he wasn't sure it would count. Even though, he thought it should. Chandler soon came back with some photos and handed them to him. Joey looked at pictures of his roommate at sixteen, seventeen years old standing in front of a cherry red Corvette.

"Whoa."

"Pristine, right off the lot 1985 Corvette. Sixteenth birthday, I went and bought it. It had no miles on it and had just arrived at the dealership about twenty minutes before," Chandler said. "Sally Dissisa Corvette."

"Hmmm, must have been nice to grow up drowning in wealth," Joey joked.

"Ehhh, it's was alright."

"Sally is nice though. What happened to her?"

"I drove into a house," Chandler said.

"What?"

"Me, Ross, a couple other guys, we were going to breakfast, I turned a little too sharply and went right into an empty house. Wasn't drunk, wasn't high….hadn't even eaten yet."

"Wow."

"I was sad."

"I'd be sad too. I had a truck but I had to sell her when I was in Los Angeles so I could get a plane ticket home."

"Rough," Chandler said.

"So, fill me in more," Joey said. "What else am I missing? 'Cause that was awkward tonight with Monica and the whole weight loss thing. I know Ross loves Rachel but….bring me up to speed."

"That might take awhile."

"I'm not going anywhere, are you?"

"I'll grab beers."

Chandler reached into the fridge and grabbed a six pack and the two headed to the couch where Chandler proceeded to fill him in on everything that he knew from the time Chandler met Ross freshman year of college up until the moment Joey moved in. It was amazing how much he had missed and he was equally impressed with his friend for not glossing over any dick moves he had made like Chandler vanishing before Ross' first wedding and Monica having to track him down. Joey learned about Thanksgiving and how Chandler lost his toe. It was a lot to process but he was grateful to know all of this, know about his new group. He felt much more informed except by the end, he knew what would be coming.

"So….I've brought you up to date….now your turn," Chandler said.

"What?"

"Are you connected to the mob?"

"I can't-I-"

"Why did you leave? What are you running from?" Chandler asked.

"I've...I have-I watched someone die...I've seen...stuff and….I lost my virginity to my teacher in middle school and when I was nine, I unhooked a girl's bra."

"Nice."

"And...I have fired a gun."

"At someone?" Chandler asked.

"No...no but….I've seen other people fire guns at others," Joey said.

"Cagey."

"I know."

"How did you get all those charges dropped? Who do you know?"

"People….I can't...it's complicated."

"Okay…why are you cagey?"

"Because….I really can't say anything. Legal stuff and I...I don't want you involved. So let me ask you some things, Monica and Ross are judgemental about you drinking, do they have a reason to be?"

Chandler let out an uncomfortable sigh as he sipped his beer. Joey wanted to know, wanted to press further.

"When I was in college, I had a little trouble but I'm fine now. It happened after the toe incident. I took a few too many pills and washed it down with some booze but-"

"So you're an addict?"

"No, no...just….I'm fine. I overindulged. It's all good."

Joey nodded slowly but he wasn't sure he bought it. Chandler did drink a lot and it made him think of Shane. He tried to remember if Shane had lied to him or had said something about using or if he had ever questioned it. He wasn't sure he ever had and there was something about Chandler that made him want to start questioning although maybe not right then.

He had worked, he had auditioned and he had hoped and got the part of Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days of Our Lives. He could not believe his agent when she told him, asking her to repeat herself several times. He had wanted this for so long and he wasn't sure who to tell first. Perhaps Kristi, after all Kristi was the reason he had ever gotten into acting in the first place. Even if she was now doing porn or stripping, he had chosen this career because of that day when she pushed him and now it was finally paying off. She was home when he got there, taking care of Ashley who was only two months old.

"Guess what?" He asked when he showed up at her door.

"What?" Kristi asked, letting him in. She had Ashley in her arms, rocking her gently.

"I am a neurosurgeon."

"Come again."

"I got the part."

"You got the part."

"Yes, I'm a neurosurgeon. My parents will be so proud," Joey said.

"That's amazing."

"I wanted to tell you first. I mean, Kris, you're the reason I'm in this business."

"Joe."

"No, you are. Remember when I went with you to the Phantom audition...I...this is it. This is bigger than my failed television shows and commercials. I'm a soap actor. I do like soap."

"Congratulations."

"And you know what, maybe….maybe I can get you a part and then we could go to work together and-and bring Ashley and-"

"I have a job."

"Come on."

"No, when are you gonna get it. I like my job."

"You gave up. You don't like it, you gave up."

"I don't….congratulations."

"Thanks. I still think you can try again."

"I don't want to."

Joey shook his head, wishing he could say something to convince her otherwise but it didn't seem like anything he would say would convince h so instead, he continued celebrating. The celebrating continued when the group of six went out to dinner. Joey had decided maybe it was time to let them in a little bit so they headed to Sparks. A dinner for six at a restaurant with mob ties.

"So...this restaurant…" Ross said.

"I saw someone get killed right out front once," Joey said.

"Nice" Ross said.

"Once I ditched school, came here and ate like four of the five pound lobsters," Joey said.

"Why does that not shock me?" Monica asked.

"This is quite a restaurant….I feel like way too fancy for this place," Chandler said.

"Me too. Strangely enough," Joey said.

"Has it sunk in yet? That you're gonna be on Days of Our Lives? I mean...oh my G-d. Brian and I watched it all the time. Well, he worked during the day but like I would record them and then he'd come over after when Barry had like classes and stuff and we would order pizza and just….that...can I visit you on the first day?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know. I don't want them to think I'm crazy," Joey said.

"They won't think you're crazy," Rachel said. "Please, my friend died."

"So did my mother," Phoebe said.

"This isn't about you," Rachel said.

"I thought it was about me," Joey said.

"You wish….please, Joey?" Rachel asked.

"You do realize if you say no, she's probably just show up," Ross said.

"Yeah, that's probably what will happen," Rachel said.

"Okay, have lunch with me," Joey said.

"Yay," Rachel said, clapping her hands together.

"You know, you can't act like a crazy person," Ross said.

"Wh-wh-shut up," Rachel said as Ross laughed and put his arm around Rachel. It was kinda cool sitting there with the five of them. It was definitely a fancy dinner, much more fancy than pizza or Chinese take out but he felt it was like slowly letting them in, letting them see who he once was.

Rachel was surprisingly okay on the first day. He showed her his dressing room and he introduced her to some of his new castmates and they soon found themselves in the commissary, dining on salads and hamburgers.

"This is amazing, Joe. Honestly...I can't even...you know, Brian and I-G-d, he'd be so jealous of me. We loved this show and would talk about it…." Rachel said.

"Sounds like a fun guy."

"He was. It's just so weird. 'Cause I just….I never would have...he was never addicted to anything and I keep thinking I missed so many signs and-no, I'm sorry...you don't want to hear about this...on your first day," Rachel said.

He did hate hearing about Brian. Hated it because it made Rachel sad. He so badly wanted to tell her the truth but he couldn't, he could never tell her the truth. He looked away from Rachel momentarily and that's when his breath suddenly got caught in his throat. His eyes locked with hers. He never thought he would see her again, but there she was.

"Oh my G-d," Joey said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Monique," Joey said as he watched her as she slammed her tray onto the table and ran out of the commissary. Joey got up, he had to speak to her. He ran after her and caught her arm just outside the commissary. He could feel her flinch and wince.

"Let go," Monique said.

"Please talk to me. Please, just….please…." Joey said.

"Let go of my arm," Monique said.

"Don't run away. I'm not gonna do anything….just please," he said, practically pleading with her. She let out a sigh and nodded as he slowly dropped her arm. "Are you working here?"

"I have a show on the lot. Filming a pilot."

"Oh….I'm on Days of Our Lives. I just started. I'm a neurosurgeon."

"Awesome, can I go?"

"I'm sorry," Joey said. "I'm really sorry. You don't know how sorry I am."

"I don't care. You should be in prison."

"I know."

"But hey, I guess when you know the Sopranos you can get away with anything," Monique said.

"How did they get you to drop the charges?" Joey asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it and don't worry, I won't tell your new bosses. I can't, right? That's part of the deal, right? If I tell anyone, I get my head blown off….right?" Monique asked.

"Excuse me?"

"The deal or the arrangement?"

"No, no...I don't know what the hell they told you but...I don't….I'm out of that life and-and you can hate me-"

"I don't need your permission for that," Monique said.

"I know. I am so sorry, Monique. I wish I could take back everything. I mean...I just...please," Joey said, he almost felt like he was on the verge of tears.

"Are you about to cry? You don't get to cry, Joey," Monique said.

"I know."

"Hi," Rachel said, timidly. Joey noticed her almost shyly approaching them.

"Is this your new girlfriend? Does she know?" Monique asked.

"No and yes….I think. I'm Rachel. I'm a friend and I gather you're Monique?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Monique said, "I have to go."

"No wait, Monique….can I say something? Completely inappropriate and none of my business and….just woman to woman," Rachel said.

"Rachel," Joey said.

"No, please….okay, Monique. I wasn't there, I don't know but I am inclined to believe you and-and I know this is gonna sound really weird but I didn't know Joey when you had your interaction with him but the man I know now, the friend, who he was is not who he is now. He's a good guy and he is really sorry. I know he feels horrible," Rachel said.

Joey kept staring at Rachel. He watched her as she spoke every word so quietly that she appeared so small standing there. He could tell she was terrified. She almost shook. He looked over at Monique who kept staring back at Rachel like she was thinking seriously about what Rachel was saying.

"I hate him," Monique finally said.

"I know and you have every right to hate him but….and we are trying to teach him to be a better human being but….okay maybe on a scale where ten is you want to kill him and go full blown Lorena Bobbitt on his genitals and one is mild dislike, could we land on a five?" Rachel asked.

"Well…you really are sorry?" Monique asked.

"Yes, I don't want you to be afraid of me or run out every time you see me. I don't...I don't want you to cut off my genitals," Joey said. "I need them for like peeing and stuff."

Monique let out an unexpected laugh, "I'm not gonna do that. I don't think we'll ever be friends but I-I-I can land on a five."

"I can do a five," Joey said. "What's at a five?"

"If I see you, I won't run away-" Monique said.

"Would you wanna have lunch with me?" Joey asked.

"Oh G-d, no, she doesn't," Rachel said, "Joey I just got you down to a five. Don't fuck it up."

Monique laughed again, "she's right...stick with this friend, Joe. She's a good one. Nice meeting you Rachel. Good work."

"Thank you," Rachel said.

"Well, it's more your roommate," Joey said.

"She's not here. I'm taking credit," Rachel said.

"I'm gonna go," Monique said. "I'll see you around."

Monique gave him a weak smile as she turned around and walked off. Joey let out a breath as Rachel put her arm around his waist. He kissed her on the head.

"Thank you," Joey said.

"You're not a monster, Joe. I know what you said to Pheebs after she told us about what happened to her in Prague. I don't know, maybe it was wrong of me to say anything but….you're not a monster. You're a good guy, you're just...a pig. But you're our pig. Our favorite pig."

"I feel like a monster. I've done some shitty things."

"I'm sure you have and I believe you but you're now on Days of Our Lives. You worked so hard for this and I'm gonna miss you hanging out at Central Perk all day long."

"I know, you may have to work and take less breaks."

"I know," Rachel said, groaning, 'but I mean, look around you….this is what you dreamt of and-and-it's not a commercial. It's not a crappy television show or a music video. This is it. You started over, so did I."

"Yeah, this is amazing. I'm ….this is my new life."

"Be happy and if you're not, I will come to this set every single day until you are."

"Is that a threat?" Joey asked.

"Very thinly veiled," Rachel said.

"Come on, let's walk," Joey said as the two continued to explore the lot. It would be his new home, his new life. He would make everything work now. Being on Days of Our Lives meant that he was officially closing the book on his past.


	20. Chapter 20

**February 1996**

He had never tried it before. Something so bizarre about it. Being on his own? In his own actual apartment. He was making good money now and he thought maybe he could try. He hated to leave Chandler, he knew it would hurt but there was something appealing about it. Maybe on his own, he wouldn't have to cut off one half of his life. Maybe he could reconnect with Christopher, Tony, his family. He found a place in Manhattan. It was huge, it reminded him of that model girl, Kendall's place. Telling Chandler though was the last thing he wanted to do. He owed so much to Chandler. The guy took him in when he couldn't even pay the rent but he wanted to just try.

"You're moving out?" Chandler asked, staring at him angrily after Joey had broken the news.

"I'm making money….on my own….for the first time and you know, maybe-"

"So instead of paying me back, you'll just move out. How about the money you owe me? You've lived here for three years and you have not paid for half of anything once. So instead of giving me what you owe me, you're gonna leave," Chandler said.

"This isn't about you."

"You took advantage of me," Chandler said.

"I did not take advantage of you," Joey said.

"Like hell you did. You moved into an apartment you knew you could not afford, am I right?"

"Well, yeah-"

"And don't you dare pull that 'we're brothers' crap. You're a roommate, Joe. Roommates pay rent."

"So I'm just a roommate?" Joey asked, actually a little hurt by that. He had really thought of Chandler as more than just a roommate. They had been brothers, or at least he had thought so.

"That's not what I meant."

"It's exactly what you meant. I won't waste more of your time. Probably next roommate you get, hopefully he can pay."

"It would save me a lot of money."

Joey stormed out, it didn't go the way he had thought although he wasn't quite sure how it was supposed to go. He didn't want to lose Chandler's friendship in the process but the idea of living on his own was alluring, he loved the idea of finally being able to pay his own way. He'd pay Chandler back but he wanted this experience first.

He had lived with Chandler for three years and had never invited Christopher to his apartment and now he felt he might be able to invite him, he could reach out to his old friend who was, of course, pissed that he had been so cut out. His first night alone in his big, fancy new place and he invited Christopher. He didn't want to invite Chandler. Chandler wouldn't want to visit him, he was pretty sure. He hadn't talked to Chandler since their fight and when Phoebe, Ross, Monica and Rachel had visited him earlier, Chandler wasn't with them so he invited Christopher who was amazed at the new digs. It truly was a palace.

"Dude," Christopher said.

"I know, right," Joey said.

"You're shitting money."

"I know, right."

"But what the fuck, you basically went MIA for three years."

"I know, I know...I had to."

"You back?"

"Well, I don't wanna fuck this job up," Joey said.

"Come out with me tonight."

"I-"

"Come on, man...we'll get fucked up, sleep it off and then you'll be shiny and new for work."

"I can't get arrested though, Christopher. I can't….if I did, I'd get fired and I-I can't-I mean, I would have nowhere to go."

"Awww, sugar daddy got his panties in a wad?" Christopher asked.

"I'm really starting to think you don't actually know what that means."

"No, I know. Let's invite Kristi, let's do this shit."

"I'll call Kris, maybe she can get a sitter for her kid."

"I can't believe that slut has a kid," Christopher said.

"Dude, you can't call women that," Joey stressed.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Christopher asked.

"I-oh, fuck let's go," Joey said as he reached towards the phone and dialed Kristi's number to begin planning. As soon as he hung with Kristi, his phone rang almost immediately. When he picked it up, he was surprised to hear Monica's voice on the other line.

"What are you doing tonight?" Monica asked.

"Going out, why?"

"I'm just calling to say behave yourself," Monica said.

"What-Mon-stop being judgey."

"I'm not being judgey….okay, I'm totally being judgey but with good reason. Joey, I know you and I've worked so hard and-"

"Hold on," Joey said, putting the phone down and looking at Christopher, "I'm gonna take this in my room. You can start pre-partying."

"Oh, dude," Christopher said as he walked towards the fridge. Joey took his phone into the bedroom and closed the door.

"Mon, you there?" Joey asked as he lay down on his bed.

"Yep."

"I'm gonna be fine."

"Just please don't do anything stupid. This is your dream job."

"I know. Hey, is Chandler gonna be okay?" Joey asked.

There was silence on the other line and he could hear Monica let out a heavy sigh. He knew Chandler was hurt by what he did and Joey was angry as well but he couldn't help but worry about his friend, regardless of how pissed he was.

"He'll be fine."

"Are you gonna be fine?" Joey asked.

"Yes. I'm more worried about you. Don't fuck up," Monica said.

"Dude," Christopher said as he practically kicked the door open, "ready to get fucked up, come on man."

"Who is that?" Monica asked.

"Christopher," Joey said.

"Joseph Francis Tribbiani Junior, I am warning you," Monica said.

"Hey, hey, do not middle name me Geller….or should I say future Mrs. Geller hyphen Bing."

"Shut up...although I do like the hyphen...oh, shut up."

"I will behave, I will call you tomorrow."

And with that, he hung up and followed Christopher out of his bedroom and towards the kitchen for some pre-partying shots. As the alcohol took over, there was a part of him that took Monica's words to heart. He really did not want to mess any of this up but there was another part of him that just wanted to play like he used to.

Christopher and Joey soon headed out into the night. Christopher though wanted to go the bars they had gone to years earlier. The seedy ones with no lines or ropes, where you walk in and befriend a toothless guy with a cowboy hat drinking a beer, mumbling about the troubles he faced to anyone who would listen. They ended up at Rudy's, a dimly lit dive bar with a giant ceramic pig out front. They quickly ordered some beers, got their free hot dogs and found a booth.

"This is nice," Joey said, taking a bite of his hot dog.

"Yeah, not like those sissy bars you go to," Christopher said.

"You know, they're not bad. I mean, sometimes it's nice to sit at a clean table."

"You've gotten soft."

"I have not gotten soft," Joey said.

"Hey, guys," Kristi said walking towards the table with his sister, Cookie. Joey was a little stunned to see her as they got their beers and joined them. "By the way Joey, it is so awesome that you have a huge family because currently four of your sisters are babysitting my child."

"That is what they're good for, why are you here Cook?" Joey asked.

"Very nice, Joe. What a sister can't hang out with her brother?" Cookie asked.

"She can, but why are you here?" Joey asked.

"I invited her so she could get away from her dipshit husband," Kristi said.

"See, this is what happens when you decide you're too good for your old life," Christopher said.

"I thought...what's wrong with...with….holy shit," Joey said realizing he had forgotten something very important and he wasn't sure how he could forget such a thing.

"Did you just forget your brother-in-law's name?" Kristi asked.

"I refer to him as dipshit so much, I never really...awww, shit," Joey said.

"John….although, that is weird you forgot his name," Cookie said.

"Well, you know….it happens," Joey said.

"No, no...it doesn't," Cookie said.

"Well, okay, why is he a dipshit?" Joey asked.

"I'm not-just-not in front of you two," Cookie said, motioning to Joey and Christopher.

"I'm not in the life," Joey said.

"Yeah, he became Mr. Hollywood," Christopher said.

"I'm not Mr. Hollywood. I live here in New York," Joey said.

"Yeah, buy us another round Mr. Hollywood," Christopher said.

"Oh, yeah, you don't have your sugar daddy anymore, you grew a pair and moved out," Kristi said.

"He's not my sugar daddy," Joey argued.

"Come on, was he a good lay?" Christopher asked, joking.

"Well, not gonna lie, he was a pretty good kisser," Joey said, grinning as he got up to get another round and few more free hot dogs. He did wonder if his new friends would ever go to a bar like this. Chandler and Ross might. Free hot dogs every time you bought beer? The girls certainly would not. He did miss it though. When he returned to the table, the beer drinking and hot dog eating continued and while he did want to call it a night, he wanted to follow Monica's advice, he soon lost track of time. The hours, the booze, everything went fast and soon they were back at the palace with people he did not even know. There was music and an unexpected party. He had not had a night like this in years. A few hours in, he spotted Christopher doing heroin in his bathroom with some half naked girls and noticed as Cookie tried to shove her way in and headed towards Christopher. Christopher absent-mindedly handed her a syringe which Joey immediately grabbed out of Christopher's hand.

"Joey," Cookie said, stunned.

"Dude, what the fuck," Christopher slurred as Joey lept and shoved Christopher who had been sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Christopher fell into the tub but was too out of it to fight back. Joey let out a snort and walked out when he felt Cookie grabbed his arm.

"You're gonna do drugs with Christopher?" Joey asked, turning to face her. "Go back to your husband."

"You know what? Fuck you, Joey. You haven't been around. Okay, you don't think we've noticed that you think that you're better than all of us? You dropped us all the minute you got a sugar daddy," Cookie said.

"Lay off of him, he is not my sugar daddy. He's a nice guy who helped me out, he did nothing wrong so lay off him and I did not drop you-"

"Have we ever been invited to your apartment?" Cookie asked.

"Yes, my birthday," Joey said.

"Not this year and Monica invited us last year, not you. You have no idea what is going on in any of our lives so don't you dare for one second be the protective big brother, you haven't been a protective big brother in years," Cookie said as she stormed off. Joey watched as she went to grab a drink. He knew he should probably run after her but he wasn't sure what to say. Was his sister right? Had he not been a good brother? Had he really cut himself off so much that none of his sisters really even considered him a good brother?

"Hey, I'm gonna take off 'cause it's like two in the morning and I have a kid," Kristi said.

"Mother of the year."

"Don't judge me. You okay?"

"Yeah, it is….fun night," Joey said.

"You miss 'em don't you?" Kristi asked.

"Who?"

"Come on," Kristi said.

"No, no….I saw them today. Not Chandler though, he didn't come. He...we got into a fight about me moving...I-"

"You miss Chandler?" Kristi asked.

"Go back to your kid."

"He's still your friend, you know that right? I know we make fun of you but honestly, from what you told me, he's still your friend."

"Thanks for coming by, Kris," Joey said, giving Kristi a hug before turning and walking off. He had not forgotten who he was. He was still that guy and he had not gone Hollywood. He would prove it.

The phone woke him up at 7am. He let out a loud groan as he looked towards the ringing phone. He reached for it and noticed he was naked and two other girls lay sleeping beside him, both blonde, both also unclothed. He tried to remember what had happened. What had he done or who had he done?

"Rise and shine, this is your Geller wake up call."

He groaned, Monica was way too cheerful and why was she calling? He really was starting to get annoyed by her. He did not need this smothering motheringness this early.

"Why-what are you doing?"

"I don't want-"

"Monica, I'm twenty eight years old."

"I know, you sound hung over. Who did you do last night?"

"I-" Joey looked over at the two girls and raised an eyebrow. "I don't know."

"Oh."

"You need to stop. Okay, you're not my mother."

"I know, but-"

"No, listen to me-"

A gunshot blast halted what was starting to turn into an argument. The two sleeping girls woke up with a fright and Joey stared at his bedroom door.

"What the hell was that?" Monica asked.

"Nothing."

"I'm calling the police."

"Don't you fucking dare. If you call the cops, I swear to fuckin' G-d, I will ruin you-"

"Joey...It's Monica. Who do you think you're talking to?"

Joey stopped. He hated yelling at Monica, hated revealing any part of his old self. He knew he had freaked her out but he kept looking at the door, he needed to be out there. He could hear some commotion outside.

"I'm sorry. Just please don't say anything, don't call anyone. Let me figure this out."

"Okay," Monica said, her voice sounding different.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Bye," Monica said as she hung up. Joey did the same and ran out of his room into the living room to see his sister leaning over a dead body. Even if he had forgotten his brother-in-law's name, he could still identify the body. He lunged forward and grabbed his sister back. She was covered in blood, bawling, her hands still gripping the gun. He grabbed a t-shirt from the ground and used it to gently take the gun from her hands. Cookie leaned against him, trying to catch her breath. He noticed she looked bruised. When had this happened? When had any of this happened? He tried to remember the party last night? How much had he had to drink?

"Yeah, Tony and his guys will be over here and we'll take care of it," Christopher said as he stumbled over towards them, still looking messed up.

"What the hell happened?" Joey asked, "and why are you all beaten and…"

"Oh, you fucking passed out when you hooked up with those honey girls," Christopher said.

"Cookie, look at me. Tell me what happened," Joey said. "I am a television star now, I cannot have a dead body in my apartment."

"Yeah, Mr. Hollywood," Christopher laughed as Joey immediately got up and shoved Christopher to the ground. Christopher got back up and punched him in the face.

"Fuck," Joey said, grabbing his face. It would probably be bruised now and he had to go to work.

"Oh, my apologies princess," Christopher said.

"I have to go to work," Joey said.

"Well, you're a fucking neurosurgeon. Shouldn't be too hard to fix your own goddamn face, Hollywood."

"I'm gonna fucking kill you," Joey jumped towards Christopher again and punches began flying.

There was commotion going on around them and people were shouting, he could hear Cookie yelling but he didn't care. It wasn't sure how long the fight had been going on but soon he felt someone grab him back. He could hear Tony starting to yell as he dragged Joey into his bedroom and threw him on the bed as the girls immediately scattered, running out of the room and shutting the door behind them.

"There's a fucking dead body in your apartment, you're gonna mess around. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Tony asked.

"Why is there a dead body in my apartment? What the hell happened?"

"None of your business. Don't worry about it, Hollywood."

"Don't call me that and it's my apartment. I can ask the questions."

There was a knock at the door and Cookie stuck her head in the room through the crack in the door. Her eyes looked bruised, she looked sweaty, her hair matted to her head.

"Tony, can you take care of John outside and I'll talk to my brother," Cookie said.

"Yeah," Tony said. "We'll make it go away, no worries."

Tony walked out of the room as Cookie sat next to Joey on the bed. Cookie patted his leg.

"What happened?" Joey asked.

"It was real good at first, Joe. Johnny cared for me, you know but then he'd get real mad and-"

"Did he touch you?"

"A couple times...I-"

"Fuck, why didn't you tell me?" Joey asked, getting up as he began to pace back and forth.

"'Cause you weren't around, you left, Joey. Well, anyway, he came by this morning and we fought and he well...you can see," Cookie said, motioning to her badly beaten face and he noticed her arms also had bruises as well.

"He did that to you."

"Yeah and then….I saw Christopher passed out and he had his gun-"

"When did he have his gun?" Joey asked, trying to remember if Christopher had been packing. He hadn't even remembered that.

"I grabbed it and shot him. He's dead."

"Oh G-d….Cookie, I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"Shit….I also have to call Monica again," Joey said.

"Why?" Cookie asked.

"She was on the phone with me when the gun went off. She was gonna call the cops."

"Oh no, no, Joey."

"It's fine. I'll talk to her and I'm sorry I was a shitty big brother. I wish you had told me. I would have taken care of it."

"No, no 'cause you know...even though you haven't been there….I'm still really proud of my big brother. You're a TV star. You made it."

"I'm still sorry. Look, I promise not to be so MIA."

Cookie looked at Joey and gently placed her head on his shoulder which felt a little sore. They sat quietly for a bit longer until Tony and Christopher informed them it was now safe to go outside the bedroom. Joey wanted to ask more questions but knew better than to ask. His apartment was now clearing out and Cookie had decided she wanted to go to their parent's house. Before he knew it, his apartment was cleared with barely anyone saying a word. His place was still destroyed though. When he was alone, he walked towards the phone again and dialed, thankful when Monica picked up.

"It's me," Joey said.

"Hey, don't you have to be at work in less than an hour?" Monica asked.

"Yeah. Look, you didn't call anyone or tell-"

"Nope."

"Are you by yourself?" Joey asked.

"Nope."

"Can you come over later? The palace has been destroyed and I may need some help cleaning."

"Okay. Go to work, we'll chat later," Monica said before hanging up. He let out a sigh and went to go take a shower although he wasn't sure how much good it would do. He could already see bruising and swelling around his eyes. It was clear a fight had occurred. He had managed to arrive at work right at his call time but not before one of the producers noticed him and stormed over to him.

"What the hell happened to you?" Chuck Stein, the producer, looked furious.

"I'm fine, it's just-rough night."

Chuck let out a loud sigh, grabbed Joey's arm and pulled him off to the side. Chuck was a small man, bald with little round glasses who was slightly terrifying.

"Look, I'm gonna level with you Tribbiani. Don't think I don't know your reputation. Okay? The stories about you have gone around but I'm taking a chance on you. Don't fuck this up," Chuck said.

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, get ready. You're on set in fifteen."

Joey nodded and walked into the hair and make up trailer where the black eyes were covered up and he did look decent by the time they were done. He was able to clean up nicely and do his job without any further incidences.

When he got back home, he saw Monica waiting outside his place with cleaning supplies. She barely spoke to him as he let her in. She stopped. There were messes everywhere.

"Oh shit," Monica said.

"I know."

Joey watched as Monica surveyed the apartment. She cringed a little at the sight of the blood that was still there from that morning. She walked towards the couch and sat, Joey followed her and sat next to her.

"That was a gunshot I heard this morning, right?" Monica asked.

"Yeah...my...my sister shot her husband. He was abusing her. I didn't know that. You didn't call the cops?"

"No, I didn't. Do I need to?"

"No. Please and I'm sorry I spoke to you that way."

"Joey….what life do you want? Do want this because the last time I had to clean a mess this bad was when Rachel and I were seventeen and I cleaned her house after she threw a party after Thanksgiving and didn't invite me. Of course, there was no blood on the walls."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't need to keep apologizing. I wanna know what life you want because I'm cleaning a crime scene. That's what you want me to do, right?

"Yeah. The cops don't even know there's been a crime."

"I can go to jail for that, Joe."

"You won't-"

"I'm sure you...if I go in the bedroom, I'll probably find some other bodily fluids, right?"

"Well-"

"You know...I'm gonna leave. 'Cause you know how you say, you wanna protect the five of us? Me cleaning this, that's not protecting me. I'm not getting in trouble for this. It's not my mess, it's yours. You clean it up. I mean, a high school party that got too wild, that's one thing but I'm not cleaning up a crime scene," Monica said, getting up and walking towards the door. "I'll leave the cleaning stuff here. That's back up cleaning stuff."

"Mon."

"Joey, figure it out. What life do you want to lead? 'Cause this doesn't sound too fun."

Monica walked out and slammed the door behind her. Joey lay his head back against the couch and let out a groan. He had gone too far. His head hurt but he slowly got up, grabbed some of Monica's cleaning supplies and went to work. He slowly began cleaning everything. It took him several hours, many hours to put the palace back in shape and at the end, he fell onto his bed, exhausted and lonely.

After work the next day, he went to Monica and Rachel's to drop off the cleaning stuff. Monica let him in, barely speaking to him. Rachel was at work and he was kinda happy she was alone.

"Thanks for the supplies," Joey said.

"No problem. I'm sorry about your sister's husband. I haven't said a word to anyone."

"He was beating her. He was beating her and I didn't know. How the fuck didn't I know? I mean, have I-they kept saying I've gone all Hollywood and I've cut off my old life but-I mean, that's my sister. I should've-" Joey said, plopping himself down at the table. Monica sat down next to him, gently stroking his arm.

"Maybe she kept it quiet on purpose? Sometimes you wanna keep darkest parts of your life quiet, you would know that, right?"

"Yeah and I don't...have I become-"

"You've grown up. I mean, what I saw yesterday aside….you have grown up. No, you haven't forgotten where you've come from, you'll always remember but come on…."

"I almost lost my job yesterday too. They said they know my reputation. I have a reputation and not a good one?"

"I bet you do," Monica said.

"Maybe I should move back in with Chandler. Maybe I'm just not ready to be on my own," Joey said.

"Well...if it's what you want?"

"Chandler probably wouldn't want me back," Joey said.

"You know that's not true."

Joey let out a snort as the door opened and in walked Chandler and a weird looking guy Joey had never seen before but immediately Joey knew. There was something off about the guy. He reminded Joey of Christopher, when Christopher was high.

"Oh, Joe...you're here. This is my new roommate, Eddie," Chandler said. "Eddie, this is Joey...the old roommate….dude, what happened to your face?"

Joey shook his head remembering that the bruises from his fight with Christopher were still visible.

"Nothing, um, hey, Eddie."

"Sup, dudes….hey, I think I saw you in a porn," Eddie said, giggling as he pointed at Joey.

"Well, that's an odd way to make a first impression," Joey said.

He heard Monica let out a snort as she looked at him, "no, that's not the oddest way to make a first impression. Lemonade?"

"Hey, now," Joey said.

Monica laughed as she continued to talk to Eddie. Joey watched him closely and it freaked him out a little. The guy was definitely high. He looked over at Monica and wondered if she could tell. It made Joey incredibly uncomfortable. The way Eddie talked, the way he bounced about, it was like Christopher had walked into the room and it didn't help that Eddie and Christopher looked a little alike. When they finally left the apartment, Monica kept staring at the door. Joey reached over and squeezed her hand. He watched as tears filled her eyes.

"Mon?"

"He's on something, right? Eddie? He's high, right?"

"It seems like it."

"Shit."

"Hey, hey….look, it doesn't mean anything."

"What if-I don't-please move back 'cause I'll take continuous midnight games of hammer darts over...that…." Monica said as the tears started to fall.

"Hey, Geller. Listen to me. Trust Chandler, okay? Trust me. Nothing's gonna happen to him."

"It's happened before."

"You didn't know me then. Do you trust me?"

"You had a dead body in your apartment and you wanted me to clean up a crime scene," Monica said.

"Yeah, and? Trust me. Look at me," Joey said as Monica looked at him, tears still falling. "I promise you that I will never let something happen to Chandler. If Eddie goes too far, I will take care of it. You have my word."

"Okay, how?"

"You really wanna know?"

"No, but I don't want anything happening to him," Monica said as Joey enveloped her into a hug. He would not let anything happen. He had made that promise. He had made it when Shane had died and he'd keep it. No matter what happened. Monica slowly pulled away from him and took a deep breath, he watched as she went about putting away the cleaning supplies he had brought over. When he finally got up to leave, he decided to check in on Chandler. He didn't know if he should walk into his old apartment but thought maybe knocking would be better. He wasn't even sure if Chandler was still mad for leaving. When Chandler opened the door, he motioned for his old roommate to step outside.

"What do you need? You need to borrow money or you know, pay me back."

"Don't be an ass. Your roommate is high, by the way."

"Okay."

"Look, I don't know what happened in the past or if you have some addiction but I swear to G-d, if I find you with a needle in your arm, I'm gonna take a bat to your head."

"First, I don't have an addiction and I'm not shooting up heroin and second, you don't live here anymore so you have no right to jump up my ass about anything."

"That's where you're wrong, asshole."

"Hey, you lived here for three years and paid me nothing but when you start making money instead of paying me back, you decide to move the fuck out. By the way, what happened to your face, did some of your hometown buddies decide to give you a housewarming?"

"You done?" Joey asked. He was in no mood to fight Chandler. He knew it was a fight Chandler wouldn't win.

"You have no right to judge me. After all, shouldn't you be rotting in a prison cell somewhere?" Chandler asked.

Joey let out a sigh, knowing Chandler was angry and not giving a shit. Very methodically, he moved in close to Chandler, grabbing his shirt collar and pushing him up against the door to what had once been Chandler and Joey's old apartment. Even though he was shorter than his friend, he stood tall to make sure he was looking him dead in the eye. He could see a flash of fear in Chandler's eyes as Joey leaned in close, making sure his tone was even and didn't show any emotion "if I find you on any of the shit your new roommate is on, I will beat the living crap out of you. Do I make myself crystal clear?"

Chandler did not respond, simply nodded as Joey backed off and walked down the steps outside the building where he began walking back to the place he called his new home. They were all wrong. He couldn't lose who he once was, it would always be part of him but he'd be more careful with whom he revealed that part of himself too.


	21. Chapter 21

**March 1996-May 1996**

Just like that, it was suddenly over. He kept reading the script wondering if maybe he was reading it wrong. He was supposed to fall down an elevator shaft. He was being killed off. It could not be right, he had worked so hard for this moment. This was supposed to be his moment and now it was ending. He felt nauseous as he kept reading. It was the same over and over, the words did not change. He had to talk to someone. It was all so wrong.

As soon he got to work the next day, he found Chuck standing by some other producers. He stormed over to him, not sure what to say. He couldn't use force to get what he wanted as he had done so many times in the past but this was his career. His life.

"You're killing me off," Joey said.

Chuck looked at Joey and simply nodded as he motioned for Joey to follow him. He followed Chuck until they were by his trailer. Joey kept running his fingers through his hair, not sure whether to scream or cry or punch something.

"Alright, your interview?" Chuck asked.

He had given his first interview ever to Soap Opera's Digest. He thought it had gone well. He had talked about his character, his love of the show.

"What was wrong with it?"

"You said you change your lines or the lines the writers give you to make 'em better. Kinda bit the hand, Joe."

"I'll apologize."

"It's not just that. In the two months you've been here, how many extras have you slept with?"

"I thought was allowed," Joey said. He had enjoyed his time, of course, and he had hooked up with many of the extras. He didn't think that was a bad thing.

"I've gotten complaints about you and-and-last month you came to work after you had gotten into some fight and-you're a liability. There are rumors about you and I got a letter. Is it true you raped a girl?"

"What?" Joey asked, his heart dropping to his stomach.

"I got an anonymous tip that you've had legal issues and that you had raped a girl and that you'd been arrested for drunk driving twice and you have mob connections. I can't keep you on. Sorry, man," Chuck said, patting him on the shoulder before walking off. Joey could feel his world starting to collapse. Had Monique said something? Although he wasn't sure that was likely. This could not be happening, it could not be ending. He walked back to his trailer and wanted to just break. He was being fired. He had been so close, so very close and it had been snatched quicker than he had been able to get it.

Joey could feel his world starting to collapse. Had Monique said something? Although he wasn't sure that was likely. This could not be happening, it could not be ending. He walked back to his trailer and wanted to just break. He was being fired. He had been so close, so very close and it had been snatched quicker than he had been able to get it.

Shooting that scene was painful, packing up his trailer, leaving the set, he had no clue what to do. He walked home, dropped off his stuff and just sat. He wanted to speak to no one. He also wanted to figure out who had leaked that anonymous tip. Who had told Chuck about his arrests? Monique really didn't seem like the culprit. Who else could it have been? He needed to leave his apartment. He couldn't stay in the palace so he left, he left and took a cab out to Jersey towards one of Tony's newest sites which was in a restaurant. He walked in and saw Christopher sitting with a guy who looked strangely familiar, Eddie. Christopher knew Chandler's new roommate? He watched as Eddie handed Christopher some money and Christopher seemed to be slipping him a vial of something. Eddie got up and noticed Joey staring at them.

"Joe...hey, Chris, this is my roommate's ex roommate. How you doin' buddy?" Eddie asked.

"What did you just sell him? Wait, are you doing this shit out in the open?" Joey asked.

"Don't worry about, Hollywood," Christopher said.

"Are you selling this shit to Chandler, I swear to G-d," Joey said.

"Don't worry about it buddy, he's not touching this shit. Don't get your panties all in a twist," Eddie said, patting him on the back before walking off.

Joey walked over and plopped down next to Christopher as Christopher quickly pocketed whatever cash he had.

"What are you selling?" Joey asked.

"None of your business, what's up your ass?" Christopher asked.

"I got fired. They killed me of Days of Our Lives. I fell down an elevator shaft. Some shit wrote an anonymous letter to the producers telling 'em that I'm some kinda thug. You have any idea who could have done that?"

"No clue, why are you asking me?"

"This was my dream job and it just...I can't-I wanted this so bad and I thought I finally got it and-"

"Dude, you sound like a girl, what's wrong with you?"

Joey shook his head, Christopher had never been the type of friend he could confide in.

"Yeah, why bother? Where's Tony?"

"Backroom."

Joey got up and walked towards the back of the restaurant where he noticed a small office. Tony was sitting behind a desk. He walked in and sat across from him.

"What's up kid?"

"Got killed off Days."

"That's rough."

"I don't think this is worth it anymore," Joey said, sadly. It didn't seem worth it. Maybe he could go back to Tony. He had been at this so long and every success he had seemed rather fleeting.

"Hey, I could put you on maintenance, you can start tomorrow. You're always welcome back here."

"I don't know. I'll think about it. I mean, I was good at it."

He just wasn't sure what the point was in this whole acting thing. He had gotten so close so many times and before he knew it, it had been snatched away from him and who knew when that next break would even come.

He didn't watch it when it aired, stayed inside his apartment although he should have known the other five would be at his place the moment it aired. What had they done? Had they taken time off work to head to his apartment? They all came in as soon as he opened the door and fell back down onto his couch.

"Joey, what happened?" Chandler asked.

"I died," Joey said.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Monica asked.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be at work?" Joey asked.

"Joe," Monica said.

"I'm a liability. They said someone sent an anonymous letter detailing my arrests and other stuff and then the article for Soap Opera's Digest and….I'm high risk. You guys didn't send a letter, did you?" Joey asked, although knowing that would never be the case and looking the faces of the other five, that was quickly confirmed to be a dumb question.

"Joe, I'm a soap opera stalker fan, you really think I'd try to get you fired?" Rachel asked.

"No, no and I know you didn't do it….I just-"

"Do you think Monique did it?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know, it doesn't even matter. It was my big break. This was everything to me and now…it took me so long to get this break and….shit," Joey said.

"You know, you're always welcome back home," Chandler said.

"Don't you have a new roommate?" Joey asked.

"Ehhhh, it's temporary," Chandler said.

"Thanks, man," Joey said.

That made him feel almost worse. Despite everything they had gone through, Chandler still would welcome him back. He wanted to cry again, the others remained with him until Chandler and Ross soon had to leave for work. Rachel and Phoebe were the only ones with flexible schedules so they remained with him and Monica was now unemployed so she stayed with him. They watched television and tried to make him feel better but nothing was working. He would have to start all over. He hated starting all over. He hated auditioning. He hated being on the bottom again and that idea haunted him that maybe someone had sabotaged him. He wished he knew who or maybe he didn't, he'd probably kill that person.

By the beginning of April, the money had run out and he had no choice. He had to move back in with Chandler and he had heard Chandler was trying to get rid of Eddie but he needed to talk with his old friend first. He wanted to find out what how much influence Eddie had on Chandler. Standing in his old apartment, staring at his friend, his brother, Joey knew he needed to start.

"Will you take me back?" Joey asked.

"You wanna move back?"

Yes, Chandler had said he was welcome back home but he needed to make sure that it was okay.

"Well...I can't afford the palace anymore and I...I can't afford to pay my half of the rent or the utilities. So it will be like when we first started living together," Joey said.

"Perfect."

"Just...I'm really sorry. I...I don't...I wasn't...I didn't mean..I don't want you to feel like I abandoned you. You're my brother, you mean a lot to me."

"Thanks...I missed you, Joe."

"Same here...so wait, if I move back...what about-" Joey said motioning towards his room which was now Eddie's.

"I have a plan," Chandler said, "I want him out. So let's move him out."

"Okay. You know….I am sorry and Eddie….I-Eddie-" Joey wondered if he should admit that he knew Eddie had bought hard drugs from Christopher.

"I know. I like you living here."

"Good," Joey said as the two men stared at each other and Joey pulled Chandler into a hug. It felt good to hug him and he figured maybe he wouldn't say anything.

"So am I your sugar daddy again?" Chandler asked which made Joey laugh.

"I should never have told you that."

"I'm glad you did but um….the drugs that Eddie does? I don't do that. I've never done that. I-I just want you to know. I mean, I tried an LSD tablet once when I was little...but I-those words like-like heroin and cocaine and-and-they scare me. I don't do those drugs. Believe me," Chandler said.

"I do. Let's pack up Eddie," Joey said finding it a little odd that Chandler felt the need to tell him that. Had Chandler read his mind? He wanted to press further but they had packing to do so Joey went to work, helping Chandler pack Eddie's stuff up and through the packing, he noticed tons of hard drugs, syringes and other things. He took those boxes out of the apartment and put them in the hall. He had contemplated throwing them away but he didn't care about Eddie. As he walked back into the apartment, he noticed Chandler carrying a large box into his room.

"Where are you taking that box?" Joey asked.

"Oh, that asshole stole some of my things. This is my stuff," Chandler said walking into his bedroom. That seemed a little strange but instead, he continued to pack up Eddie's stuff and soon all his stuff was downstairs and Joey moved his stuff back in and soon, Joey was officially back home.

And unemployed.

He had no money and was back where he started. He spent his time in Central Perk or at a bar down the street. Sometimes Christopher would join him, sometimes Kristi or Phoebe. A lot of times, it was Christopher. He would go to Rudy's or Sparks and spend hours there, just drinking.

"So you happy you're back with your sugar daddy?" Christopher asked over drinks at Rudy's. It was now April and he had been unemployed for awhile.

"He's not my sugar daddy," Joey said.

Christopher laughed as Eddie stormed into the bar and up to their table. He sat down, glaring at Joey.

"I want my pills back, asshole," Eddie said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"When you threw all my crap out of my apartment-" Eddie said.

"It was never your apartment," Joey said.

"It wasn't yours. You don't pay jack shit for it," Eddie said.

"Maybe so but my sugar daddy loves me more than he ever loved you," Joey said, grinning at Eddie.

"You're not hearing me, I want the pills. Your sugar daddy is a drug addict," Eddie said.

"You take that back," Joey said. Though he knew Eddie was telling the truth but he would not give Eddie the satisfaction of letting him know that.

"No, hey, I gave him the first bottle out of the kindness of my heart-"

"Well, that's the first lie, what heart?" Joey asked.

"You want me to punch you in the face?" Eddie asked.

"You wanna try?"Joey asked.

"I want my pills," Eddie said, "or I'm coming after him."

"Alright, how much does he owe you?" Joey asked, resigning himself. He knew where the drugs were, he knew Chandler had taken them but he and Chandler were still repairing their friendship and he was pretty sure some of those pills were now gone. He did silently kick himself for not asking more questions when Chandler had brought that box into his room, but they had had to move fast. There had been no time to ask questions.

"What?" Christopher asked.

"What?" Eddie asked.

"Look, a drug addict stole your box of pills. You know you're not getting them all back anyway. I have some money saved that I was gonna actually contribute to rent but I'll pay you instead to get you off his back. I'll take care of him."

"Three grand," Eddie said.

"Seriously?" Joey asked.

"Yep," Eddie said.

"That's about all I have," Joey said.

"Wait, dude, seriously, you don't have to do that," Christopher said.

"I kinda do. Check or cash?" Joey asked. "I'd say check, they won't let me withdraw three grand in cash."

"Fine, check," Eddie said.

Joey let out a sigh as he grabbed his checkbook and wrote a check for three thousand dollars and handed it to Eddie. It was all he had left.

"I'll buy this next round," Christopher said.

"Thanks, Chris," Joey said. He could feel his heart drop. He knew Eddie was right, he knew he was saving Chandler and he couldn't say a word.

He just wanted to strangle Chandler but he also wanted to start crying as well, this was not good. He couldn't tell anyone either. He couldn't tell Chandler, he still was saying he had no drugs. Monica would freak out, Rachel would cry. He wasn't sure how Ross or Phoebe would react. He would have to keep this to himself.

After drinks with Eddie and Christopher, Joey walked back to his apartment. Chandler still would not be home so he walked into Chandler's room and began looking and he found the cardboard box with empty prescription pads and bottles of pills. He couldn't dump them all out, Chandler would know. He took one bottle, unscrewed the top and walked into the bathroom flushing them all down the toilet. He'd have to keep an eye on his friend. He had not done that with Shane. He had let Shane fall, he had made that promise and it was a promise he would keep.

He kept watch. He couldn't get any acting auditions but he could still keep track of Chandler. He told Chandler nothing about the three grand. It didn't matter. Every single day, he would dump a bottle of pills down the toilet. He said nothing. He had briefly contemplated asking Richard for advice, Richard was Monica's boyfriend and was an eye doctor but he thought against it thinking that maybe Richard would tell Monica. He just so badly wanted to tell someone as he watched his friend get thinner and thinner.

It was Ross who caught him coming out of Chandler's room during Rachel's birthday party that May. Her parents had divorced and now they were having two separate parties. Chandler was getting wasted and Joey had thought maybe he could dump a bottle. He walked into Chandler's room and grabbed the box. As he opened it, he noticed some scribblings on one of the prescription pads. Was Chandler forging the prescriptions? Joey ripped the pieces of paper off the pad and stuffed them in his pocket, he thought about getting rid of the whole pad but he was pretty sure Chandler would ask questions. As he walked towards the bathroom, Ross suddenly appeared beside him.

"Joe, you alright?" Ross asked.

"Uhhhh…" Joey said, before looking over at Chandler who had lined up several shot glasses on the counter and was pouring whiskey into all of them. He shot another one back. "Can I show you something?" Joey asked, motioning towards the bathroom. Maybe he could tell Ross.

"Um, no...I'm good," Ross said.

"Not that," Joey walked into the bathroom and Ross followed him in, closing the door behind him.

"What?" Ross asked.

Joey let out a long drawn out sigh. Maybe confiding in Ross was the best thing he could do.

"Look, I don't know….I've only been around for a few years and I don't know him like you do or Monica or….well, but I know...I've been around this and-well-a buddy of mine passed away from this-well-"

"What are you saying?" Ross asked.

Joey reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of Oxycontin and handed it to Ross. He looked at Ross' face to gauge his expression.

"These were in his room. He has a lot of them. Now-" Joey grabbed the bottle from Ross and opened it, pouring all the pills in the toilet and flushing, "he has one less."

"Wow, Joe-"

"Look, he's got a problem, don't worry, I got it."

"We all got it. You're flushing 'em?" Ross asked.

"Yep."

"Thanks. We've dealt with this before. Monica and I, in college….we'll just have to watch him and make sure he doesn't die."

"Oh, he's not gonna die. I'll kill him before he kills himself," Joey said.

Ross opened his mouth and shut it, giving him a look. Joey grinned, he knew what he said and he said it that way on purpose. He didn't tell Ross about the three grand or the prescriptions.

"Alright, well….let's go see the rest of the party. We gotta keep Rachel's dad in the apartment and you and I have been in here together for enough time that it's actually now bordering on creepy."

Joey laughed as the two walked out of the bathroom together. Chandler noticed them and let out a laugh as he held up another shot glass.

"What the hell were you two doing in there?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, Ross had to show me something," Joey said.

"Wh-why did I have to show you something?" Ross asked.

"What? I'm not showing you anything. Don't be creepy," Joey said as he patted Ross on the back and walked off. He liked knowing that Ross knew. He liked that he wouldn't be doing this alone.

Although, he thought working for Chandler might help him keep an even closer eye on him. He needed money and Chandler had gotten him a job doing random crap at his company but he had no clue what he was supposed to be doing. It was strange and Chandler was also strange at work. Really strange.

"Dude, what is up with you?" Joey asked as he sat across from Chandler in his office, eating his sandwich. It was lunchtime and he had hoped to eat with his friend but instead Chandler was at his desk, staring at the computer while eating his sandwich.

"What?" Chandler asked, his mouth full of food.

"Have lunch with me. I thought this was gonna be fun."

"I have about ten pages of data to analyze and also I'm kinda rethinking you working here 'cause I'm looking at what you did and I have to redo that because you can't-you clearly don't know what you're doing."

"I told you that. Work Chandler is weird."

"You're weird. Butt munch. Seriously, Joey….did you take a single math course in school? Like any math course. Kindergarten through twelfth?'

"As a matter of fact, I did."

"Okay, what's 9 plus 12."

"Bite me jackoff."

"Crap," Chandler muttered.

"Sorry, man….I was too busy getting laid in high school."

"I got laid in high school," Chandler said.

"You went to an all boys school. Who did you have sex with?"

"You don't know me."

Joey laughed as he looked around Chandler's office. It was a pretty cool office. Chandler was an executive, making six figures. It was clear he was good at his job although it seemed like a horribly boring job.

"You knew this before you told me to take the job. I'm not a numbers guy...or an English guy," Joey said.

"You're smart in your own way. I mean, you're smart enough to con the same guy not once but twice into letting you move into an apartment you clearly can not afford," Chandler said, grinning at him. Joey shook his head, knowing Chandler was messing with him.

"I'm a fucking genius," Joey said.

"Turd."

"Hey, hey….you know, you really can only blame yourself now. You've gone too far."

"I know," Chandler said, glancing at a spreadsheet and squinting at it, "seriously, Joe, addition. They teach it in schools."

Chandler grabbed a highlighter off his desk and began furiously highlighting some sort of information that Joey had attempted to put on a spreadsheet.

"Okay, okay so how did you even get involved in accounting?" Joey asked.

"I'm not an accountant," Chandler said, looking at him.

"Oh. What are we doing?"

"Data reconfiguration and statistical analysis."

"What?"

"Okay….data-"

"Numbers," Joey said.

"Right, reconfiguration."

"You lost me. Just how did you get involved in that thing you just said," Joey said.

"I got into it because I needed a job," Chandler said."I kinda vanished for seven months before Ross' wedding and Monica yelled at me and I needed a job and I found this one and fortunately for you, I've always been good with math and numbers."

"But you quit once. Would you wanna do something else? What else would you wanna do?"

"Batman. I'd love to be Batman."

"Wouldn't we all."

"How did you get into acting?" Chandler asked.

"Went with Kristi to an audition and apparently a couple producers told her I would be good in commercials. Figured it would be a great way to get out of waste management and construction. G-d, if my old colleagues could see me here now," Joey mused, imagining himself inviting Christopher to the office. "Why don't you quit though? This is not you."

"I don't know. I hate it but….I'm good at it. Shit, Joe what's five plus six?" Chandler asked, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I'm not an accountant," Joey said.

"Neither am I."

Joey laughed as Chandler continued working. He wanted to know more, he wanted to keep pressing. He was bored looking at numbers and he apparently was not good at it.

"Can I ask you something else?" Joey asked.

"What?" Chandler asked.

He kept thinking maybe this could be a moment that he could press. He thought of Rachel's birthday, he thought of the pills. Chandler had gotten wasted. He thought of the three grand he had used to paid Eddie to leave them alone and not go after his friend.

"So...Rachel's party last week? That was fun."

"Yeah, it was. Two parties. Ours was so much better than Monica's."

"Definitely. You drank a lot though."

Chandler looked up at him, his eyes suddenly seemed to suddenly go dark. Joey wondered if he should keep pushing. He wasn't going to say anything about the pills, he would still keep it quiet.

"Seriously? I gave you fucking job that you're incompetent at and I'm paying for you to live and you're gonna be on me about drinking," Chandler said, suddenly getting angry. It was a strange reaction but Joey wasn't too nervous by it.

"Ross was telling me about college and how you had taken too many pills-"

"'Cause Mon cut off my toe."

"I know but-"

"I'm fine, Joe. I am not an alcoholic. I am not a drug addict and I'd really like to not discuss it at work because I'm looking at your WENUS numbers and you cannot give this to my bosses so I'm gonna have to do my reports and yours. So I suggest you don't piss me off."

"Okay."

Joey remained quiet as Chandler continued looking at random papers. He knew he'd have no choice but to keep pushing and he would. He kept thinking about Shane, he was thinking of him more and more about how he could have stepped in, how he could have stopped it and this time he would. He would stop it. He had no choice.

Eventually, he also had no choice but to stop working with Chandler. Chandler desperately wanted him to quit because it became more and more obvious Joey had no clue what he was doing which ended up causing Chandler's workload to double so Joey happily quit and went about the summer trying to audition for things, anything. Although it was soon turning into a summer of auditions with no jobs which was making everything even worse.


	22. Chapter 22

**May 1996-December 1996**

In addition to Joey's depression about not getting any work, Monica was incredibly unhappy after having broken up with Richard in May. Rachel and Ross were still going strong though and Chandler was getting skinnier and skinnier, even though he also had a new relationship. He was dating Janice. Joey thought Janice was truly obnoxious and he could hear her screaming through the walls late at night which drove him nuts. Sometimes he'd head across the hall to sleep on Monica's couch when Rachel was spending the night at Ross'. Monica could barely sleep so he'd stay up with her, watching movies with her. She seemed to be drawn to any movie where the lead character had a mustache even though she'd cry the whole time.

"I hate mustaches," Monica groaned as they sat on Monica's couch watching Three Men and a Baby, "and that guy looks like Richard. Look how cute he is with the baby? Why doesn't real Richard want a baby?"

"We can watch another movie," Joey said as Monica cuddled up next to him.

"I don't wanna," Monica cried. "See, the guy looks like Richard."

"You know they say there's a dead ghost kid in that movie and you can see him 'cause he appears on screen."

Monica sniffled as she looked at him, "you're stupid."

Joey laughed as he held her closely. He liked that she was leaning on him for comfort. He liked when he got to be her rock. The movie was interrupted by a knock at the door and Janice sticking her head into the apartment.

"Hi, can I come in?"

"Yeah," Monica said.

"Chandler's asleep but I wanted….I wanted to ask you something if it's okay," Janice said, sounding very cautious. "Oh, Three Men and Baby. The guy who plays Peter looks like Richard."

"See," Monica cried.

"What's wrong with you?" Joey asked.

Janice laughed a little as she walked towards the couch. She looked very unsure of herself as ran her fingers along the edge of the couch.

"Um, I wanted to ask you guys….you're his friends but is there something wrong with Chandler?" Janice asked. "I mean, um, he seems really thin and-"

"Let me talk to you about it outside," Joey said, not wanting to have Monica hear what he might have to say.

"No, no….if you have to say something, say it in front of me," Monica said.

"Mon," Joey said.

"No, he's on drugs. I get it," Monica said.

"Okay, he might be on something or he is….just, I don't know….he's not doing well. I'm taking care of it," Joey said.

"How? How are you taking care of it?" Monica asked.

"I am. Both of you, don't worry about it," Joey said.

"I really do like him and I care about him. I want him to be okay," Janice said.

"I want him to be okay too," Joey said.

Janice let out a sigh and turned to walk back out of the apartment. Monica looked up at him and his heart broke at the glassiness in her eyes. She looked broken. He hated that.

"Promise me, promise….you told me once that you would take care of it….I'm not strong enough right now and I-if he died….if he...something happened...I can't lose him and Richard. I've already lost Richard and-"

"Hey, you're not losing him. I promise you."

"Please, Joey you don't get it...I can't lose him. If I lose him, I will fall apart," Monica said, crying. "I can't plan his funeral. I can't say goodbye to him."

"Hey, you're not gonna say goodbye, there's not gonna be a funeral. I am going to take care of him."

"Where's he getting the drugs? What's he doing? Why is he doing this? Why does he hate me so much?" Monica asked.

"Oh, you know that's not true. I'm waiting for him and Janice to break up, you're the one he wants to end up with."

"You know, I had to track him down. He vanished and he….he….and...why does the Three Men and Baby guy look like Richard? I hate this movie."

"We can watch another movie?

"No, we can't."

"Look, just….know it's gonna be okay. Trust me. Please?"

"I-alright, I'll trust you. Only 'cause I'm in a vulnerable state."

Joey smiled as Monica continued sniffling. He would now have to focus on Chandler full time. He'd have to figure out how to keep his friend from falling even more so than before. Monica was counting on him, even Janice whom he disliked was counting on him. It became easier and easier for him to keep watch because he wasn't getting auditions. The entire summer was spent basically doing nothing but getting rid of Chandler's drugs. Any auditions he was able to get, he was unable to land anything so his summer was spent with no money and no job and simply watching as his roommate wasted away.

By Halloween, things were more difficult because he dislocated his shoulder which he found almost hilarious. All those years of working for Tony, he had not injured himself once but the one time he decided to jump on the bed, he fell off and dislocated his shoulder. That just seemed entirely unfair. Phoebe had also taken on the role of his agent which he was strictly against but with one shoulder dislocated, he was at a disadvantage.

"So nothing?" Joey asked, while he sat with Rachel and Phoebe in Central Perk.

Phoebe went through a series of notes she had written on Post-its and they were all rejections.

"Seems like it, I'm sorry Joey," Phoebe said.

"Do you think it has something to do with that letter?" Rachel asked.

He had thought about it. The anonymous letter written to the producers of Days of Our Lives detailing some of the more seedy things he had done, it really did seem like that was going around town. Was that the reason he could not land a single job.

"I don't know but when I find out who did it, I will kill them," Joey said.

"You know, when you say things like that….it scares me," Rachel said.

"Do you think it was Monique?" Phoebe said.

"I don't know…..I don't think so. I don't….." Joey said.

"Alright, I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back," Phoebe said as she got up to walk towards the bathroom just as Ross was walking into Central Perk, got his coffee and gave Rachel a kiss as he sat next to her.

"Hey, baby," Rachel said.

"Hey, your shift over?"

That confused him. He hadn't seen Rachel work at all from the moment he had arrived at Central Perk. She was supposed to be working?

"Yeah, you have fun trick-or-treating?" Rachel asked.

"You went trick-or-treating?" Joey asked. Who did he go trick or treating with?

"Oh, one of Ross' friends from school," Rachel said, "right?"

"Yeah, my friend, Ali. She has a little six year old girl. She was a Batman Princess."

"Nice," Rachel said.

"Yeah and I took Ben and he was a turtle. It was fun. But Lauren, that's Ali's daughter's name….she does not share her candy," Ross said.

"Why would she?" Joey asked.

"'Cause she's six, she's not gonna eat it all," Ross said.

"I don' t care. She earned the candy. I punched a kid in the face once 'cause he tried to eat one of my Butterfingers," Joey said. He was pretty it had been Christopher who he had punched in the face and rightfully so, he didn't know who this kid was that Ross took trick-or-treating but he was strangely proud of her for being territorial about her candy.

"You know, sometimes I really wanna know about your past but then sometimes I think knowing it will make me an accessory to something," Rachel said.

"Just saying, what's the rule that says you have to give up your candy just 'cause you're a kid. Fuck that, you're the one who went door to door asking for the damn candy. It's for the kid. If you want candy, buy your own," Joey argued as he got up and walked over to the counter just as Phoebe returned.

"So I was thinking," Phoebe said.

"In the bathroom?" Joey asked.

"Yep."

"It's where I do my best thinking."

"I think you can do some investigating and you can figure out who it is that's trying to destroy you, you should find out," Phoebe said.

"I don't know….maybe I should go back and work construction."

"No."

"What?"

"Because I have a feeling, it wasn't just construction."

"I hammered nails."

"To make coffins?"

"No. Please, we didn't put the bodies in coffins," Joey mused, bringing a cup of coffee to his lips as he grinned at Phoebe who just laughed.

"You can't go back. It would be like me going to live in a box. It just wouldn't be fun now."

"When was it fun?"

"Depended on the box," Phoebe said.

"I've always wanted to know, how does a box keep you warm?"

"Duh, layering. Use your head Joe."

"Do you think those two would ever survive our lives?" Joey asked, motioning towards Rachel and Ross cuddling on the couch.

"G-d no," Phoebe said.

"Who do you think would die first?" Joey said.

"Ross."

"Yeah, agree," Joey said as the two rejoined Ross and Rachel on the couch and talked more about Halloween. About trick or treating and their childhoods, it was always fun listening to Ross, Rachel and Phoebe talk, their lives were so much different than his. Soon Monica and Chandler joined them as well although Joey noticed Chandler looked rail thin now and Joey could tell his friend was drunk.

"Did you go to a Halloween party Bing?" Joey asked.

"No, why?" Chandler asked.

"'Cause you're drunk," Joey said.

"I'm not drunk….I just...I need coffee," Chandler said as he stumbled towards the counter. Monica let out a sad sigh.

"When did he get drunk?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know. I walked out of our apartment and saw him stumbling down the stairs. Joey, you promised. He's getting worse," Monica said.

"I know," Joey said.

"Rash-al...Rash….did-did you write the board…." Chandler stumbled through his words.

"I'll be right back," Monica said as she started to stand just as Rachel stopped her and shook her head.

"Sweetie, I'll help you. The board is a mess," Rachel said as she got up, "I should probably do some work considering I didn't actually do any on my shift."

Rachel walked over to Chandler to help him order his coffee as Monica watched him. Phoebe kept looking at Joey.

"He's sick," Phoebe whispered.

"I think so," Joey whispered back.

They kept watching as Rachel helped Chandler walk back to the couch with his coffee and a slice of cake. Joey thought of Shane again and he realized there was never this fear with Shane, never this feeling of everything falling apart. Everything would have to be kept together, somehow.

Yet when Chandler and Janice broke up a few weeks later, he knew things would just keep getting worse. Monica was a complete wreck and Chandler was wasting away.

"An intervention? We need to do one, maybe-"

"He's not ready for one," Ross argued, cutting Monica off. Ross, Rachel, Phoebe and Joey were in Monica and Rachel's apartment. They had ordered pizza, Joey was setting up movies. Chandler just refused to come over, too depressed over Janice. He hated seeing Chandler liked this and always wondered why Chandler always had these intense reactions to things.

"He's too thin. He's on drugs and now with him and Janice broken up…Ross, he needs an intervention," Monica said.

"He's not ready. He'll disappear," Ross said.

"I'm gonna go get him," Phoebe said, "I'll bring a box of pizza to lure him over. I can talk to him."

Phoebe grabbed a pizza box and walked out, leaving Ross and Monica to argue at the kitchen table as Rachel was making the slow death smoothies and Joey was sorting through the movies but he wasn't paying a lot of attention. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do but he wanted desperately to do something.

"He's on something," Monica said.

"I know, but we can't-"

"I'll throw out his stuff," Joey said, looking up from the movies.

"What?" Ross asked.

Or maybe he should have said he was already throwing out his stuff? He knew Ross knew but no one else did and maybe now everything needed to come out.

"Well, when I lived with my buddy Shane he was hooked on drugs and I just started to flush stuff down the toilet when he wasn't home," Joey said although that was a lie. It was a complete lie. He had never done anything to help Shane. He didn't even pay much attention when Shane had done drugs right in front of him.

"How did that work?" Ross asked.

"Well...he died but-" Joey said wishing Ross hadn't asked that.

"Oh my G-d," Monica said.

"He's not going to die," Ross said.

"I can't-I can't lose him. I just got over Richard and that was hard I can't….if I lose Chandler, I don't know….I just don't wanna lose him. I can't I'm not strong enough," Monica cried as Joey and Rachel immediately joined Ross and Monica at the table. All three began to comfort her as she continued to cry.

"Monica, listen to me," Joey said as he sat next to her, he stared straight at her, "he's not dying."

"Yes he is."

"No, no, he's not. Not on my watch. I'm not burying my brother. Not a chance in hell," Joey said. He would keep promising her. He had tried so hard and he would keep trying.

"You're very sweet, Joey," Monica said as she hugged him. She took a deep breath and stood up. "I'll go get him." Monica said.

"He's going to be okay," Rachel said.

"Yeah, we've been through it before, we'll go through it again. We are not going to let him hit the bottom," Ross said.

Monica let out a sigh, got up and walked out of the apartment leaving Ross, Rachel and Joey sitting around the table in silence.

"I found Brian's body. I can't….I can't find Chandler's and I mean, I never thought I'd say this….but I like Chandler more than Brian. Sorry, Brian," Rachel said.

Joey tried not to wince at Rachel talking about finding Brian's body. That image of her grabbing his body flashed in his head.

"He is not going to die," Joey said.

"Joe, how did you find out about your friend?" Rachel asked.

"I came home. I was actually pissed off 'cause he told me he was gonna pick me up from JFK. I had just flown from LAX to JFK and I was waiting at that damn airport for like two and a half hours and I kept calling our place and finally someone picked up and I asked where the hell he was and it was a police officer who asked who I was and I said, I'm Joey, Shane's roommate and they told me to come home. They didn't want to tell me over the phone so I went to our place and there were ambulances and stuff….he was dead."

"I'm sorry. I remember you telling me at that at the Fashion Week After Party."

"Yeah, I had um….hooked up with a model who was walking one of the shows and she told me to come so I did," Joey said.

"I don't want him dying. I don't wanna find his body. I want him to get well and I want…." Rachel's voice began to tighten up as Ross and Joey each squeezed one of her hands just as Monica walked back in with a box of pizza and sat with them. "Mon?" Rachel asked.

"He's sick and...I just wish he knew, you know, I wish he knew how much we all love him and he doesn't and I know, Rachel, you and Pheebs say that Chandler and I are gonna end up together but I can't….I can't...he's not well."

"I know," Rachel said.

"Alright, I'm gonna make the smoothies...or more of them," Monica said as she got up and walked towards the kitchen. Rachel joined her as Joey began eating some of the pizza and Ross got up to go look through the movies. Joey kept glancing at each one of them as he was picking the pepperoni off his pizza. He had so much he wanted to say.

"You know," Joey began, "when Shane died….no one was really at his funeral. It was my own family and my friends. We didn't know where his family was, they dropped him as soon as he moved to Queens. I knew he had a drug problem. Real hard stuff. I'd see him shooting up heroin for breakfast and….and I lied….I never flushed anything down the toilet, I never even said anything to him. I never did any drugs so what the fuck did I care what he did? I always figured it was none of my business. Then he died. I saw them carrying him out on a stretcher and I put together his entire funeral and….and I promised him that if I had another friend who had an addiction problem, I'd do something. I'd save him. So Monica, Chandler's not falling. You have my word."

He looked up noticing that all eyes were now on him. He never really went that deep with them and they were completely silent watching him.

"I believe you," Monica said.

Joey nodded as he turned back towards the pizza. He continued to eat when Chandler and Phoebe walked into the apartment. Chandler looked like a skeleton. It sickened him to look at his friend that way.

"There you are man, _Hot Dog: The Movie_ is on deck and after.. _.Die Hard_ ," Ross said.

" _The Hot Dog Movie_ and _Die Hard._..whoa, I have the greatest friends ever," Chandler grinned as he and Phoebe walked towards the couch and began to make themselves comfortable. Monica handed two slow death smoothies to Rachel and nodded towards Phoebe and Chandler.

"Oh my G-d, Sarah was right," Rachel said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Sarah is my co-worker...at Central Perk," Rachel said.

"Oh, crap...I forgot you work there," Chandler said.

"What? You stole Sarah's shoe?" Joey asked as he walked towards the couch with one of the boxes of pizza and plopped himself down next to Chandler. He noticed him gripping a shoe.

"No, he stole Janice's shoe. Sarah called me and said, oh your friend Chandler just broke up with a girl and stole her shoe," Rachel said.

"You stole Janice's shoe?" Ross asked.

"No...they're mine. They make me feel taller...and slender," Chandler tried.

"Oh, honey...give me your drink," Rachel said.

"Why?" Chandler asked.

"I think we need to make yours stronger," Rachel said.

Chandler groaned as he handed Rachel his drink. Rachel gently squeezed his shoulder and gave him a kiss on the head.

"Honey, I think you're the coyote who has run off the cliff tonight," Rachel mused before starting to walk off, Chandler grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Wait, Rach...can I go back to Central Perk tomorrow?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, honey, of course...you're my friend. They know not to mess with you and if anyone does, let me know and I'll have a little chat with them," Rachel said.

"Thanks," Chandler said as Rachel walked towards the kitchen. Monica shook her head as she walked towards the couch with a tray of drinks.

"Hey, Joey...move, I wanna sit next to Chandler," Monica said as she placed the drinks down and looked at Joey sitting next to Chandler.

"I wanna help out my brother," Joey said.

"Joey, move," Chandler said.

"Thanks, man," Joey said, giving him a smile.

"She's got boobs, she wins," Chandler said.

"Dammit," Joey muttered as he got up and moved towards the big chair while grabbing another slice of pizza and a drink from the tray. He watched as Monica and Chandler whispered to each other and watched as Ross kept looking through the movies. He didn't remember Shane ever looking quite like this, looking so broken, so out of it. It almost angered him. Shane had no one, no one was in pain when Shane shot up or snorted anything. No one ever seemed to care so why did Chandler not get it? Why didn't he see that people cared? That a lot of people cared and would keep caring?

It didn't seem to matter how many prescription pads he threw away or how many bottles of pills he flushed and by December, Chandler looked like a hollow shell and it terrified him. He didn't want to tell the others but it scared him and as the moments of 1996 counted down he began to worry that he would not be able to keep his promise of keeping Chandler alive.


	23. Chapter 23

**January 1997**

It was the evening of his twenty ninth birthday and he had decided to invite his sisters. After what happened with Cookie, he really felt like maybe he was missing way too much and he needed to put an end to that. He needed to catch up with them, know what was going on. First, of course, was catching up with Cookie. As soon as his sisters arrived for his party and got themselves comfortable, he followed Cookie to the drinks. They hadn't spoken too much about what had happened at the palace but he still wanted to check in.

"I'm fine," Cookie said as she poured herself a jack and coke.

"I know, I know but-"

"And no one knows, no one has asked about him. It was self defense. In fact, I'm thinking of starting to date again. How about those two?" Cookie asked motioning towards Chandler inhaling a jello shot and Ross watching him.

"Ross has a girlfriend and….Chandler's sick," Joey said.

"Chandler's drunk," Monica said, appearing next to him.

"I know. Oh, Cookie….this is Monica," Joey said.

A flash of recognition seemed to flash across both of their faces and Joey was wondering if Monica was remembering hearing the gunshot over the phone and if Cookie was remembering Monica had been on the phone.

"Monica," Cookie said.

"How are you?" Monica asked in a way that made Joey smile. Leave it to Monica to keep caring, to always care.

"I'm good….you know, what you heard on the phone that day…." Cookie said.

"I don't-I didn't hear anything," Monica said, grinning slightly, "but you're doing good, right."

"Really good," Cookie said.

"I told you, this one is awesome," Joey said, placing his arm around Monica.

"He's drunk...he's drunk and I'm getting pissed off," Monica said.

"Do me a favor, Cook. Get her drunk," Joey said.

"I totally will. We're talking about the skinny boy over there, right?" Cookie asked.

"And that's another thing…." Monica said.

"Cook, get her drunk," Joey said as Cookie grabbed Monica's arm and pulled her from Joey. Joey turned and walked towards Gina, Tina, Veronica, Mary Therese and Mary Angela who were standing near Chandler who kept grabbing more jello shots.

"I can't believing you're moving," Veronica said which made Joey stop. He looked over at Gina, confused.

"What?" Joey said.

"You really have no clue what's going on in this family anymore, do you?" Mary Therese asked.

"I'm making an effort here. I invited you to my party. On my own," Joey said. "Where's Dina by the way? And my nephew?"

"Michael and Dina are with AJ and Meadow. They're kids, they don't wanna hang out with a bunch of old people. We'll see 'em tomorrow," Gina said.

"Well, they'd probably get a kick out of your friend, Chandler. Man, he can put it away," Veronica said.

"Yeah, hey, Bing….why don't you lay off?" Joey yelled, although it sounded like a question.

"Blah," Chandler said, sticking out his tongue which was green. "I gotta-I be back-I gotta-stuff in room."

"You're not taking shit, are you?" Joey asked.

"Don't tell me what you do," Chandler slurred. "You know, Joey's sisters….are you all the same person? You look lotta same."

"Dude, come on," Joey said, walking towards him, "lie down."

"No, no fuck you….I pay. You stay," Chandler said, laughing, "hey. Okay."

"I'll take care of him," Mary Angela said as she grabbed Chandler's arm.

"Mary Angela," Joey said.

"Let me. Enjoy your birthday," Mary Angela said, taking Chandler by the elbow and leading him away from the tray of jello shots.

"Wow, he is so wasted," Veronica said.

"He is so skinny. I could break him in half," Tina said.

"He's on something, isn't he?" Mary Therese asked.

"Yep. He's on drugs," Joey said.

"I don't remember Shane being that thin," Mary Therese said.

"I don't really wanna talk about it. Gina...you said something about moving," Joey said.

"Yes, yes...back to that, I'm moving to Los Angeles," Gina said.

"Why?" Joey asked.

"'Cause I'm thirty and I wanna try to live in L.A. and I also got a job working at a salon that Julia frickin' Roberts goes to," Gina said.

"I dated a girl that looked like Julia Roberns, I-she-made me naked, she sucked. Women suck. I'm gonna die alone," Chandler said, grabbing a jello shot and sucking it down.

"I thought we were cutting him off," Joey said.

"I tried, he came back," Mary Angela said.

"The kid weighs four pounds, I think you can take him," Mary Therese said.

"Come on," Mary Angela said, dragging Chandler off again. Joey really wanted to punch Chandler in the face, he was trying so hard to maintain his composure. It was his birthday, he kinda wanted the focus to be on himself.

"Look, I wanna try L.A., hey, you tried Los Angeles…..twice," Gina said.

"Well, I do know where you can get some good lemonade," Joey said.

"That's disgusting and I hate you for telling us that story," Veronica said.

"I enjoy sharing," Joey said, "and wait, are you taking my nephew? You can't take Michael. I wanna introduce him to porn."

"He's twelve," Gina said.

"Yeah and?" Joey asked.

"What was our brother doing at twelve?" Veronica asked.

"Was that when you banged the teacher?" Tina asked.

"It was called making love," Joey said.

"Really, what was her name?" Tina asked.

"I don't know. But you can't move my nephew three thousand miles away from me. I mean-" Joey said.

"It's not only that. He's hanging with out AJ Soprano. Dina's best friends with Meadow and I know what the Sopranos do and I don't want him mixed up with Tony and his buddies and-I saw the influence Tony had on you and he still does," Gina said.

"He does not have….no-" Joey tried.

"Oh please, you idolize Tony," Veronica said.

"You want to be just like him," Tina said.

"I don't wanna be like him. I want to be him but that doesn't mean I idolize him," Joey said.

"Look, I don't want my son to grow up thinking how dad acts or how Tony acts is okay," Gina said.

"Then I'll be his positive male influence," Joey said.

"You're an asshole," Gina said.

"Yeah, but not all the time," Joey stressed. Gina laughed as Joey kept pleading. He hated the idea of his sister moving although maybe on some level he got it. Maybe growing up away from the craziness that went with his family would be a good thing.

"Hey, Joe...a little help here," Mary Angela yelled from across the room. She was standing by a pile of presents, Chandler was sitting in the middle opening all of Joey's presents.

"Seriously, dude?" Joey asked, approaching them.

"It's a birthday," Chandler said.

"I tried to stop him, I really did," Mary Angela said.

"He's opening your gifts?" Monica asked, appearing next to him.

"Mary Angela, can you go with Monica and get some drinks," Joey said.

"No, what the hell is wrong with you Chandler?" Monica asked.

"You know, Monica, can you...you wanna come with me and get a drink?" Mary Angela said.

"Go, Mon. Let's me take care of it," Joey said.

"It's your birthday," Monica said.

"It's fine," Joey said.

"Fine, yeah, I'll come with you Mary Angela," Monica said. Mary Angela grabbed Monica's hand and pulled her off towards the drinks.

"You're an asshole," Joey said.

"Present time. Oh, open presents. Got good ones, I'm gonna die alone," Chandler said. "'Cause no one loves me."

"Yeah, I spent my last three grand so you didn't get a bullet in your head, but sure why not?" Joey muttered.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Nothing," Joey said as he walked off too. He'd just leave Chandler there. He didn't want to deal with him and wanted to enjoy himself. He didn't remember Shane ever being this way. Maybe it was because he was never on top of Shane the way he was with Chandler? It just all seemed so much worse.

"Hey," Joey said as he grabbed a beer from the table. Mary Angela was now talking with Cookie, Monica and Phoebe.

"He's still opening your gifts," Monica said.

"I don't care," Joey said.

"Yeah, listen to my brother...he doesn't care about others," Cookie said.

"That's so not true," Joey said. "I care about Monica and Phoebe."

"Oh, G-d….now, Ross…" Monica said, pointing off towards Chandler.

"I'll go talk to Ross," Joey said walking back towards Chandler and Ross.

"It's alright man," Joey said

"It's your birthday."

"Yeah, I know," Joey said. "They're just gifts. It's not like he ate my cake."

"Okay, boys. I gotta go," Chandler said, struggling to stand up. Joey and Ross leaned into help him up.

"Maybe you should lie down," Ross said.

"No, it's my birthday," Chandler slurred.

"It's actually Joey's," Ross said.

"Whatever," Chandler said as he stumbled off. Ross let out a sigh and looked at Joey.

"You still throwing stuff out?" Ross asked.

"Yep, he keeps getting more. Look, relax and have fun. I'm not letting him ruin my birthday," Joey said before going off to rejoin his party and he would, he would have fun. He would not care what Chandler was doing. He would catch up with his sisters, talk to Rachel about a potential job at Bloomingdales, play around with Phoebe. He wanted to have a good time and he would.

The next morning, he woke up feeling twenty nine. He felt oddly tired like he had been up too late. He walked out of his room and felt strangely alone, peering into Chandler's room and sure enough he was alone. Where had Chandler gone? His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the telephone.

"Hello?" Joey asked.

"Hey, it's Mary Angela. Is Chandler there?"

"No, it doesn't seem like it. What-"

"Oh, I feel horrible and I guess he was still passed out in the basement but we hooked up."

"Ewwww."

"Joey, don't be gross. He's so sweet."

"He was wasted and high last night."

"But he's going through a rough time….and he also said he could be falling for me? I mean, Joe I haven't had a boyfriend in so long. It's been like forever. You have no clue and…."

"Wait, he said he was falling for you but-"

"I know he was wasted but….look, we're all meeting at mom and dad's tonight right? For your birthday?"

"Yeah and I have some laundry."

"Yeah. we'll talk then."

"Okay," Joey said as he hung up with Mary Angela. He stormed into Chandler's room and reached under the bed, pulled out another bottle of pills and he noticed the prescription pad looking a little thin. Was he forging prescriptions? Joey walked out of the room and dumped the pills in the toilet before walking downstairs to the basement where he saw Chandler, completely naked and passed out. Joey contemplated waking him up but decided to just leave him there. Joey kept staring at Chandler, his arms looked like twigs and he could actually see the outline of Chandler's rib cage.

"Get help, man," Joey whispered before turning and walking back up the stairs. He wasn't sure he wanted to wake Chandler up. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He needed to get out of there. Maybe he could spend the day with family. His parents would be thrilled to see him. Maybe he could spend the day in his old neighborhood, riding dirt bikes in Cunningham Park. He didn't remember the last time he had done that but he just needed to leave. Being around Chandler, he wasn't sure what he'd do. He walked back into his apartment and packed up some dirty clothes for laundry and cleaned up a little. He left a note for Chandler to let him know he was going out. On the note, he also wrote that Mary Angela had called for him and it seemed like they were hitting off. When he was done, he went across the hall where Phoebe was sleeping on Monica and Rachel's couch. He gently shook her awake and she looked at him, concern and worry filled her eyes.

"You're up early," Phoebe said.

"Are they all still asleep?" Joey asked motioning towards Rachel and Monica's rooms.

"Yeah, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna go home for the day. Did you drive your grandmother's cab here?"

"I did. You wanna borrow it?"

"Can I?"

"Of course," Phoebe said as she reached for her purse and dug around for her keys before handing them over. "Joe, are you okay?"

"Not really. Chandler hooked up with my sister, Mary Angela and Chandler's passed out naked in the basement."

"What?" Phoebe asked, sitting up.

"Please, just….leave him there. Let him….I don't know…."

"But he's-"

"Just...I don't want to deal with him and I need a break."

"I don't know how to deal with this, Joe. I mean, I've dealt with a lot of shit but this...I don't know. What about your friend, Shane?"

"Different. Shane never hooked up with my sisters. Of course, I don't think any of my sisters would have wanted to hook up with him. Just go back to sleep and...play dumb. Pretend you don't know he disappeared."

"Please, I can play dumb really well."

"I know you can. Should be easy."

"Shut up," Phoebe said.

Joey laughed as he leaned in and kissed her on the forehead before thanking her for the keys and leaving. He threw all his dirty clothes into the cab and headed home. It took him about forty minutes before he pulled up in front of the house he had called home, the one he had grown up in. It almost looked smaller now. He grabbed his clothes and ran up the steps, pounding on the door when Gloria finally opened it.

"Ma, I'm home," Joey said, grinning.

"You bought laundry?" Gloria asked.

"It's your birthday gift for me."

"Then I'll just return the gift I got you," Gloria said.

"You don't got to do that," Joey said walking in. He dumped his clothes in the hall and headed into the kitchen where Meadow, Dina, AJ and Michael were eating breakfast.

"Hey, big brother…..I wanted to go to your party last night but apparently, I wasn't allowed," Dina said.

"I heard your roommate got fucked," Meadow said.

"Meadow, language," Gloria said.

"She is right," Joey said.

"Wait, you know what I realized? Next year, you'll be thirty," AJ said.

"Oh, you're old," Michael said.

"No, no….I'm remaining twenty nine. For the rest of my life," Joey said.

"How are you gonna manage that?" Gloria asked.

"Easy, got a plan with G-d. We have a deal. All the others can grow old. I'll just remain the same age, forever," Joey said.

"Good luck," Gloria said, patting Joey on the back.

"Uncle Joe, you know I'm moving to Los Angeles," Michael said.

"I know, hey, what are you four doing today?" Joey asked.

"You gonna spend the day here?" Gloria asked.

"Yeah, I need a break," Joey said.

"The roommate driving you nuts?" Dina asked.

"You can say that. It's making me miss Shane. Anyway, I used to love dirt biking at Cunningham Park. You wanna come, make a day of it?" Joey asked.

"Dina and I were gonna hit the mall," Meadow said.

"You can always hit the mall. Dirt biking, it's fun, you can fall over and break stuff," Joey said.

"No, they can't," Gloria said as she handed Joey some French toast she had been cooking.

"And besides, they're girls. They don't wanna go dirt biking," Michael said.

"Yeah, they're not gonna like it," AJ said.

"Hey, are you two gonna let these two penis heads talk like that?" Joey asked.

"Joseph," Gloria said.

"I'm twenty nine, I don't gotta watch my language anymore Ma," Joey said.

"Actually, Mead, dirt biking might be fun and we can go to the mall tomorrow? I never get to hang out with my brother," Dina said.

"Alright, let's go and if I break a bone, I'm telling my father," Meadow said.

"Your father loves me more than you," Joey shot back.

"I find that to be sadly true," Meadow said.

Joey laughed as they finished up their breakfasts and headed over to the park and rented dirt bikes. He forgot how much he truly loved riding. He would go up and down, getting dirty and flying off the tiny hills of dirt and mud. He was good at it, feeling the wind smacking him in the face. It was January and cold although surprisingly not a lot of snow but when he saw patches of ice he rode towards it, sliding through the ice. He had stopped when he had gotten his license but he felt so calm out there, so peaceful. He didn't have to worry about his friends, his roommate, his lack of a career. Being out there with nature, that was his life, his love. It was even more fun being out there with his nephew, his sister, Meadow and AJ. He taught them how to dirt bike, how to ride the hills, the mountains of dirt and how not to fall. He kinda loved the girls kicking the boys asses as they raced along the trails. It was the mark of a perfect day. It may have only been a forty minute drive from home but it felt worlds away. He was truly in his element.

Getting home, the four teenagers ran upstairs to get cleaned up for dinner and Joey plopped down on the couch and a little puff of dirt floated into the air. He could not stop grinning.

"Someone's happy," Gina said, walking towards him with Mary Angela next to her.

"It was a good day. I taught your son how to ride a dirt bike."

"You know, Chandler hasn't called me," Mary Angela said. "Have you talked to him?"

"I've been here all day. Look, Mary Angela….he was wasted and probably high last night."

"I know but….I really liked him and he was so broken and….it's been so long and I can help fix him. He was…look, he said he was interested," Mary Angela said.

"While drunk," Gina said.

"Maybe he meant it," Mary Angela said.

"Alright, I'm gonna get cleaned up for dinner….hopefully some of my clothes are dry and I'm gonna not talk about this. It's been a good day," Joey said as he retreated to his old childhood bedroom. So much had happened in that room. So much fun, so many memories. His mom had put some dry clothes on his bed and he quickly changed. He wondered if maybe he could stay the night. He wasn't sure how much he wanted to go home yet.

His birthday dinner was a thing. Carmela and Tony had decided to join the dinner with all of his sisters, his parents and even his grandmother who he rarely ever got to see. It was loud and there was a lot of food, nothing was discussed about his father's girlfriend but it didn't even matter, it wasn't important.

"How does it feel to be twenty nine, kid?" Tony asked.

"I feel old," Joey said.

"I want you settling down. I need some more grandkids," Gloria said.

"You never know, Ma. The sheer number of girlfriends Joey has had, you may have some grandkids you don't know about," Mary Therese said.

"I don't wanna know that," Gloria said.

"Me neither. I have no children," Joey said.

"How do you know?" Mary Therese asked.

"Because I-I-oh, shut up," Joey said.

"Ma, Joey told me to shut up," Mary Therese said.

"I gotta side with Joey on this one," Gloria said.

"Okay, you gonna be back on Days? I miss that," Carmela said.

"I fell down an elevator shaft," Joey said.

"They can bring you back, you made that show better. I want you back," Carmela said.

"I know, it was finally something of yours I watched," Tina said.

"Thanks but I don't know. I have an audition for a play coming up so I'm gonna hope for that and-but if I ever find out who wrote that letter….actually, it'll probably be better if I don't," Joey said as he dug into his lasagna and the chatter around him continued. He loved this, missed it. He laughed as his mom and Carmela discussed ways he could be brought back to Days. Everyone just kept talking until a knock at the door halted things.

"Who the hell is here?" Tony asked.

"You invite Christopher?" Joey asked.

"Naw," Tony said.

"You get the door, honey. I'm gonna get you your birthday tiramisu," Gloria said as she got up. Joey followed suit.

"Tiramisu. Ooo, that's almost as good as cake," Joey said.

"I got that too, don't worry, I know my kid," Gloria said.

Joey laughed as he walked towards the front door and opened it to see Chandler standing there, looking like someone had run him over.

"What are you doing here?" Joey asked.

"I-I asked-I-I wanted to see Mary Angela," Chandler said.

"Dude come on, alright….you were so out of it last night-"

"I know, but I like her. I do, I know what I said….I like her and-and-I should talk to her."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Come on in," Joey said as he made room for Chandler to step inside. He walked into the kitchen and everyone stood to welcome him in. Joey noticed as his eyes darted around and Joey wondered if he would look at Mary Angela but instead, Chandler grabbed an empty chair by the wall and pulled it up to the table as Gloria came out with some tiramisu and everyone began singing happy birthday and Gloria, Carmela and his grandmother began passing out slices but his eyes were still on Chandler.

"He has no clue who Mary Angela is," Gina whispered to him.

"What?" Joey asked, whispering back.

"Look at him, he has no clue," Gina whispered.

"What are you two whispering about?" Mary Therese asked.

"Nothing….Mary," Gina said, purposely not saying her whole name. Joey looked over at Chandler who eyes suddenly widened. He refused, Chandler wouldn't go that low, would he? He would remember who Mary Angela was, wouldn't he? Chandler spent the night with her, he would remember.

"What's wrong with you? Hey, ma, I'm gonna get some coffee," Mary Therese said.

"In the kitchen," Gloria said.

Mary Therese got up and walked into the kitchen and suddenly, Chandler followed her in. His heart sunk.

"Told 'ya," Gina said.

"What?" Mary Angela asked.

"He doesn't know who you are," Gina said.

"What, no. That's crazy," Mary Angela said.

"Gina," Joey said.

"No, twenty bucks says he thinks that's you in there right now, not Mary Therese," Gina said.

"Do we have to discuss this now?" Joseph Senior asked.

Mary Angela threw her napkin down and ran into the kitchen. Joey started to feel nauseous. It had been such a good day. A fantastic day and now he wanted to curl up in a ball and die. This could not be happening. Chandler could not be this big of an idiot. Could he?

"Joey," Mary Angela screamed.

"Shit," Joey let out a sigh as he got up and walked into the kitchen where Mary Angela was standing there, in tears. He realized everyone had followed him into the kitchen.

"Joey, he thought I was Mary Angela," Mary Therese said, "and he stuck his tongue down my throat."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Joey asked.

"Look, Joe...I'm sorry, I just….I am sorry...I...you guys all look alike and-and-I just-I was so drunk and-"

Chandler didn't finish his sentence when Cookie suddenly decked Chandler, hard. He fell to the ground as everyone stared at Cookie in disbelief.

"Oh my G-d," Meadow said.

"Cookie," Joey said.

"Hey, I've been taking self defense courses ever since I shot my abusive husband. It's been very therapeutic. Besides, Joe….you've gotten soft. I knew you wouldn't do it," Cookie said, before turning to walk back out.

"My sister is my hero," Dina said as soon the kitchen cleared out and Joey helped Chandler stand back up.

"You alright?" Joey asked.

"I'm so sorry, man, I'm-" Chandler said.

"I really don't wanna hear it. It had been a real good day till you showed up," Joey said as he walked Chandler towards a couch in the living room and returned to the dining room where everyone was still eating tiramisu.

"You alright?" Gina asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it. Nice shot, Cook," Joey said.

"Thanks," Cookie said.

Joey let out a sigh as he dug into his tiramisu. Soon the conversation and chatter continued but Joey's mind was back on Chandler. Joey would have to go back to the city tonight. Chandler would not sleep here, Joey was pretty well convinced he was unwanted. After dessert, he loaded all his stuff into the cab, kissed his family goodbye and headed home with Chandler quiet in the passenger seat. He really had no clue what to say to him. Maybe he could tell Chandler about Shane?

"Did I ever tell you about my buddy, Shane?" Joey asked.

"No," Chandler said.

"I lived with him before I moved in with you. It was me and a couple other guys and these two really hot Swedish airline attendants. Randie and Mandie," although it did hit Joey that he did not remember if anyone else had lived with them nor did he remember the flight attendants actual names or if he was right, but he remembered their looks, "oh, long blonde hair, blue eyes and the biggest, most giant-"

"Joe."

"Yeah...well, Shane was really one of my closest friends. Kinda like you...sure he could be an asshole at times, but at heart he was a good guy. One time...I flew to Los Angeles for an audition and came back and Shane was dead. Died of a drug overdose...I knew he tried some pretty hard core stuff, heroin, cocaine and I never said much. I regret that."

That was the short version, of course. He hadn't flown for an audition as he was living in Los Angeles at the time, but he figured that wasn't really important. The important part was that Shane was dead.

"Why are you telling me this?" Chandler asked.

"I'm not as stupid as you think I am. I may not know fancy words and I probably slept my way through high school. It's a miracle they let me graduate, really. But I know other things...and I'm telling you this story 'cause um you mean more to me than Shane ever did and I'm not letting you die. Not on my watch."

"I'm fine, Joe."

"Okay." Joey said glancing over at him.

"I'm sorry about your friend."

"Me too. He actually lived in Scarsdale for awhile. Got kicked out of the private school he was at for like beating up some kid. Then he ended up at my school and he only picked on me once," Joey grinned, remembering how he threw Shane up against the lockers so hard they practically dented. He had really hated that kid when he had first met him. He was such a douche, walking around thinking he could beat up Joey. He really didn't think Shane was all that bad. He was just kinda mixed up, much like Chandler. By the time they arrived home and walked in with all of Joey's clean clothes, Chandler quickly grabbed a beer from the fridge. Joey just shook his head and walked into his room. The day had been so good, he wasn't in the mood to deal with his roommate at that moment.

A few days later, the phone rang and he had to deal. It was Tony. Tony rarely ever called but he called to clue Joey in. A hit had been ordered by Mary Angela. She had ordered a hit on Chandler. His heart dropped again, it had to be stopped. Chandler could not be killed. He called Mary Angela and begged her to meet him at Tony's latest site. Mary Angela was reluctant to do anything but Joey begged her so she agreed.

"You cannot have him killed," Joey pleaded with Mary Angela as they stood in Tony's newest office. Joey was pacing while Mary Angela stared at him and Tony sat, staring at them both.

"You should want him killed after what he did to me," Mary Angela said.

"He was wasted and high. You knew that. There were witnesses at that party that could vouch for that. You hooked up with a guy who was so drunk that he opened up my presents," Joey said.

"You don't want him killed off because then you'd have move out because you wouldn't be able to pay the rent."

"That's not true. There are people that love that man and would never speak to me again if he was killed. Okay, I would never speak to you again. Those five people, Monica Geller, Ross Geller, Rachel Green, Phoebe Buffay and Chandler Bing are untouchable. I do not want a single hair on their head touched," Joey yelled. "They're family."

"So am I. I'm actual family, Joey."

"I'm a better person because of those people and I didn't realize you were this upset."

"I am. He screwed me over."

"He was wasted. You fucked him in the basement of my building. He was naked and alone and passed out when I went down there. Look, he's sick. He's clearly on something. It's like Shane and I didn't do jack shit to save him and I'm going to do everything in my power to save Chandler. Who do you have on the job and where is he?" Joey asked. "Tell me and if he dies, you will never see me again."

"What do you say, Mary Angela? I'll call it off if you tell me to," Tony said.

Mary Angela let out a sigh as Joey kept pleading. This could not happen. He had to stop this.

"Fine, fine...who did you put on the job?" Mary Angela asked.

"Christopher. He should be at that yuppie coffee place you seem to like," Tony said.

"Central Perk?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Tony said.

"Come with me," Joey said, looking at Mary Angela and racing out of the trailer with Mary Angela behind him. He hailed a cab and the ride to Central Perk was tense. Mary Angela was pissed at him but he didn't care. He needed to get to the coffee shop. He needed to get home. The ride felt like it took forever and he could barely sit still. When they finally reached Central Perk, he noticed Christopher standing behind the coffee shop in the alley way. He noticed as Chandler, Monica and Rachel were walking past Christopher and towards the coffee shop, when they passed Christopher, Christopher stepped out of the shadows and pointed the gun at Chandler. Chandler had no clue a gun was pointed directly at the back of his head. Joey practically lept from the cab, it was as if time slowed down as he jumped on to Christopher, shoving him back into the alleyway just as the gun went off, shooting down the alley, hitting a metal garbage can. Joey began wrestling the gun from Christopher and got a hold of it and began hitting him with it.

"Hey, hey, what the fuck, dude," Christopher yelled as Joey kept beating him with the gun.

"Joey, Joey, stop," Mary Angela yelled as she pulled Joey's arm back. "Christopher, the hit is off. Stop."

Joey stopped beating him, trying desperately to catch his breath.

"What the hell man?" Christopher asked.

"The hit is off," Mary Angela said. "Joey said we can't touch 'em."

"What?" Christopher asked, struggling to get up.

Joey unloaded the bullets from the gun and threw them down the alley much to the dismay of Christopher.

"Do not touch him. I will take care of it," Joey said.

"I was here on a job," Christopher said.

"I'm going into Central Perk, you go home. I will take care of Chandler. Mary Angela, I am sorry about what he did. It was a dick move but let me deal with it. You'll find a better guy," Joey said.

"Fine," Mary Angela said as she let out a sad sigh. Joey thinking and feeling that all was safe, handed the gun back to Christopher and backed up. He walked towards Central Perk and walked in to see Chandler, Rachel and Monica on the couch.

"Oh, Joey would know. Did you hear that loud banging sound? We were trying to figure out if it was a gunshot or a car backfiring," Rachel said.

"Car backfiring," Joey said.

"See, I told you," Rachel said.

Joey nodded as he looked at Chandler and then back out the window of Central Perk where he saw Christopher and Mary Angela hailing a cab. He had saved Chandler, another save but he was starting to wonder how many more times he could save his friend.


	24. Chapter 24

Once again, don't be afraid to review! I swear, it's okay...

Side note: Thank you to my one reviewer, I'm assuming I'm just writing for you now! :) Judging by the reviews, I think you're the only one reading

 **February 1997**

So Ross and Rachel were breaking up. They were breaking up and Joey, Chandler, Monica and Phoebe were trapped in Monica's bedroom. Joey had not said anything to Chandler since Cookie had punched him in the face and he had certainly not said anything to anyone about the hit. Chandler had not said anything either. Joey just kept watch on Chandler who kept getting thinner and thinner, but now they were trapped. Ross had slept with Chloe the copy girl after he had set fire to Rachel's desk in a surprise happy anniversary move gone horribly wrong. Maybe he should have done something? As he absent-mindedly stirred a jar of leg wax that Monica had gotten for herself and Phoebe, he kept thinking back.

"Let's go out," Joey had whined to Chandler. Chandler was depressed and still thin and he just wanted to play. He had wanted a night out and Chloe was cute. She seemed to like both of them.

"She likes me best," Chandler had tried.

"Please. You look like a twig," Joey shot back.

"Girls like funny guys, I got funny. It's what I got," Chandler said.

"Well, if being funny means I get laid, then I must be frickin' hilarious," Joey grinned.

It had been a good night, they played like they used to. They laughed, drank and watched as Chloe danced in front of them.

"You're not funny," Chandler said.

Joey laughed as they continued drinking in the darkness of the club. The music so loud, the cement walls seemed to be vibrating. It had been like those nights Joey had once loved and it had been fun, a little shocking when Ross joined them. He was sad about Rachel. Soon Joey was off flirting. Chandler had passed out at a sticky circular table and Ross had disappeared. Joey had been talking to some nameless girl when he finally spotted Ross. He was making out with Chloe. He watched, thinking he should do something but he did nothing. He once again did nothing as he watched Ross and Chloe leave. He woke Chandler up to get him home and helped him get back to bed. He really had to stop not acting on what he saw, this was his business. This was clearly his business and he was now locked in Monica's room as Rachel and Ross broke up outside.

He kept glancing over at Chandler who appeared to be sweating. He realized they had been in the room so long that Chandler had probably not taken any drugs or drank any alcohol in many hours. He remembered when Shane quit drugs, there were days where he locked himself in his room and fell asleep. He kept saying he was sick, but later told him he was withdrawing. Was Chandler going through withdrawals?

"Are you alright man?" Joey asked.

"I'm fine. Not feeling well," Chandler said, he grabbed Monica's pillow and held it close to him. He didn't look fine. He looked sick.

"You're sweating. Are you okay?" Monica asked.

"Just feeling sick. I'm fine. I got pain meds after my nubbin-ectomy. I feel-"

"Your nubbin-ectomy was ten days ago. I thought it was a quick, out patient thing. They gave you pain meds for that?" Monica asked.

"Yeah. I feel a bit of pain," Chandler said as he tried to stand up to leave but instead collapsed back on the bed. Monica put her arm around him, comforting him. Joey let out a snort, knowing full well Chandler was lying. His nubbin-ectomy was quick and painless. There were no meds for that, at least Joey didn't think so. He hated the lying, he hated that even more than the addiction. Chandler was lying about something everyone knew about. It made no sense.

"Leslie was right," Phoebe said suddenly.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Shit, Chandler...Leslie was right," Phoebe said.

Joey stared at Phoebe, watching her. He remained quiet. Leslie was Phoebe's old friend. Apparently there was some falling out.

"About what?" Monica asked.

"I'm fine, Phoebe," Chandler said, enunciating every word.

"You're in withdrawal," Phoebe said.

"What?" Monica asked.

"I'm not...I just don't feel well. That is all. I want Rachel and Ross to stop fighting so I can get out of here," Chandler said, tired.

"Are you on drugs?" Monica asked.

"No. No, I'm not," Chandler said.

"Chandler...come on, tell me the truth. Are you on something?" Monica asked.

"No," Chandler said.

Joey thought it was dumb for Monica to ask that, of course she knew Chandler was on drugs. He wasn't sure why she or Phoebe were pretending not to know. Maybe they wanted Chandler to come out and just say it but everyone knew although Joey wasn't sure he should mention anything either. He looked over at Phoebe who looked ready to say something else. He reached forward and placed his hand on top of her's in order to quiet her. Maybe playing dumb was the best thing to do right now? Fighting would do no good, especially when there was already fighting going on.

"We can leave the room. If you're feeling sick...we should...are you sure you're okay?" Monica asked as she held Chandler closer, gently kissing his forehead.

"I'm gonna be fine."

Chandler lay there, Monica still holding him. Joey just let out a sigh as Monica continued to comfort Chandler. Phoebe looked pissed and Joey wasn't sure anymore what to feel. He thought of Shane, had Shane lied that much? He began to feel a little guilty. He should have asked more questions, he should have done far more to save him. He remembered that morning after that Halloween party where he had walked downstairs and saw Shane shooting up heroin before breakfast. Maybe he should have said something, anything. What if he had been there for Shane, maybe he'd still be alive? Although, if Shane were still alive he probably would not be hanging out with this new group.

It felt like they had been there forever and when they were finally able to leave the room, Rachel was sound asleep on the couch as the four walked out. Monica knelt beside Rachel as Chandler began stumbling across the room. Joey looked over at Monica and noticed that familiar flash of fear.

"I'll take care of it," Joey said.

Monica nodded as the three left. When they walked back into the apartment, Joey watched Chandler continue stumbling towards his room.

"Chandler," Phoebe began but Joey shushed her again. It was late, they could fight some other time. As Chandler walked towards his room and shut the door behind him, Phoebe began to walk towards his room when Joey grabbed her arm,"will you stop?" Phoebe glared at him.

"Chandler's on drugs, I know," Joey said.

Although, he thought he was stating the obvious. Chandler was on drugs, he was withdrawing, maybe now was the time to say what everyone knew.

"How do you know?"

Joey gave her a confused look. Sometimes he didn't know when Phoebe was playing dumb or if she was clueless. Maybe she really didn't know, maybe she thought Joey was being dumb and didn't know.

"I grew up Queens...besides a buddy of mine from high school died from a drug overdose."

"What? I didn't know that."

Although he thought he told Phoebe about Shane. He thought they all knew. Maybe she didn't?

"I don't like to talk about it. I don't think he's on anything hard, Chandler. My friend was pretty hardcore."

"Well...if you know then...we have to do something."

"We can't."

"He just lied to Monica...he slept with your sister...why aren't you more upset?"

Oh, he wished he could tell her more. He could tell her about the three grand he had given Eddie to keep him away from Chandler or about the hit he had gotten called off. He may not be screaming, yelling or crying but in his head, he had done more than any of them. He had saved Chandler's life….twice.

"We can't help someone who isn't ready to be helped. Look, I am watching out for him."

"What are you doing?"

"Every time he leaves for the day, I throw out one of the bottles he has hidden under his bed. He's almost out," Joey said.

He was tempted to tell Phoebe the other things but decided not to, those would be his things and maybe one day he would tell Chandler, now would not be one of those times.

"Oh...Joey. what if we lose him? What if he doesn't come back? I don't want him to die. I can't watch him die," Phoebe's eyes filled up with tears and soon she began crying. Joey moved into hug her. She held onto him as he gently stroked her back. Maybe Phoebe didn't really want to see it? She wasn't really playing dumb, she was in denial? He knew a little bit about Phoebe and Chandler's friendship when Phoebe had first moved in. They drank together, they partied together. They did so much together. She idolized him because he had done so much for her and maybe this was something she didn't want to see?

"What's wrong, Pheebs?" Chandler asked.

Phoebe and Joey stopped hugging as Chandler walked out of his room. He looked just so bad. Joey was tempted to go order some pizzas and just feed him.

"Nothing."

"Pheebs," Chandler said.

"No...I can lie too," Phoebe said.

"Phoebe," Joey said.

The fight between Rachel and Ross might be over but the fight with Chandler was beginning.

"What?" Chandler asked as Phoebe lunged towards him, furious. Joey watched in amazement as Phoebe got close to him, poking him in the chest.

"You promised you wouldn't leave and I don't know what you're on or what the hell you're doing but you better just fucking stop. You hear me? Stop."'

"What are you on?" Joey said. He would not tell Chandler he knew exactly what he was on, he wanted to hear it from his friend.

"Nothing."

"Chandler, I know. I know you hide bottles of pills under your bed. I throw half of them out every day and you were going through withdrawals in Monica's bedroom," Joey said.

"Wait, you're going through my stuff? Stay out of my things," Chandler said.

"You lied to Monica," Phoebe said.

"Look, I gotta get ready for bed. I'm okay. There is nothing...just stop touching my stuff, Joe," Chandler grinned and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He would deal with it now. He wasn't sure what time it was but he knew now that he would need to deal with whatever Chandler was doing.

Go home, Pheebs. I'll take care of him...don't worry," Joey said.

"Please don't let him die."

"I got him. I know how to deal with this."

Phoebe nodded, gave Joey a hug and walked out. Joey let out another sigh as he walked towards the bathroom, opening the door.

"What are you doing?" Joey asked.

"Leave me alone."

"No, stop being an ass."

"I'm not your friend, Shane...who by the way, you wanna know why he got kicked out of his school in Scarsdale? 'Cause I'm the kid he beat up."

"No, you're not."

"Yeah, I am. He grabbed me by the dick and threw me to the ground and beat the shit out of me and I saw him again at your Halloween party when I was seventeen and he threatened me again so don't you fucking dare put me in the same category," Chandler said as he walked towards the kitchen, heading over to the fridge.

"You were at my Halloween party? Oh..." Joey said and it all just came clobbering down on him. He remembered Shane trying to beat him up and Shane telling him about some kid he beat up. He remembered that Halloween party, Chandler had been there. He remembered seeing Shane talking to Chandler, being an ass to him and Joey breaking it up. He had asked Shane about it the next morning and had made fun of him for it. Shane never gave Joey details about what he had done but had he had really beaten Chandler that bad? He was tempted to go dig up Shane just so he could beat him up.

"Yeah, so I'm sorry if I don't feel so sympathetic. Just stay the hell out of my things and leave me alone," Chandler said as he opened the fridge just as Joey grabbed his arm. Chandler shut the fridge and suddenly try to take a swing at him. Joey immediately jumped back, grabbed Chandler's arms and pinned him to the fridge. Was Chandler really going to beat him up? Clearly he was not in his right mind if he was going to do that.

"You wanna try hitting me again? There's a reason Shane only picked on me once," Joey said as he could hear the door open behind them.

"Guys," Phoebe said.

"What are you doing?" Monica asked.

"Chandler tried to punch me in the face," Joey said.

"Chandler," Phoebe said.

"Stop messing with my stuff," Chandler said, trying to break free of Joey's grasp. Joey still held him there as Monica walked towards them and placed her hand on Joey's, removing it from Chandler while stepping in between them. She stared at Chandler.

"Can I talk to you, please?" Monica asked.

"I-" Chandler said.

"Please," Monica looked at him with a pleading look in her eye. She held tightly onto his arm and the two walked out of the apartment. Joey looked over at Phoebe who suddenly looked sad and small to him. He walked over and hugged her, leading towards the Barca loungers that Joey had bought for Chandler and himself just when he had started making Days of Our Lives money.

"You okay, Pheebs?"

"No. I….maybe I'm just in denial. I know, you know. I've known for awhile. He was wasted at your birthday and I knew he was on drugs and….it's just….you don't get it….have you ever like put someone on a pedestal and when they come down, they come crashing down?"

"Yeah," Joey said, thinking of Tony.

"I love that man and not the way….not in that way, at all….but everything that….he's the reason I'm here."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you ever wondered how I went from homeless to living here?"

"Yeah, but I figured it was 'cause you conned Mon the same way I conned Chandler."

"No, Mon knew I was homeless. She was not shocked but she…after I ran into Chandler at the movies, I saw him on the subway years later and I complained to him. I was already in school, I been able to save up for one semester and I told him and he's a trust fund kid. He anonymously paid for the rest of my school. Everything, books, state tests, I don't have student loans because of him. When I moved in, those five months, he taught me how to drive, open a bank account, showed me movies, taught me drinking games and-we spent Thanksgiving together once and we played in a fountain and it was freezing and we had so much fun. We went water skiing during July 4th and spent the holiday together. Monica and Ross thought we were dating and we weren't. We never dated but he told me he'd never leave and he's left...maybe not literally but he has. He tried to hit you? Are you kidding me? I just...I don't want to accept it. I don't want to accept that he's sick," Phoebe said, crying.

"I know."

"So maybe I'm playing dumb and just pretending but….if he knew, if he really knew how much I cherish him, how much I adore him...no one makes me laugh the way he does and…."

"Go home Pheebs," Joey said.

"What?"

"It's been a long night. Monica and Chandler are talking now and nothing is gonna get accomplished. Tomorrow is going to be even longer and hey, I'm not leaving you. Remember you said when I moved in, you and I are a pair now, a team. Mon and Chan, Ross and Rach, they're freaks," Joey said which made Phoebe laugh.

"Thanks, Joe."

"Look, he's too...stuck in his disease and here's the thing, I didn't do anything when my buddy died. I did nothing. I'm not making that mistake again."

"I believe you and you're right, I should go home. I'm tired."

They slowly got up and walked towards the door, embracing before Phoebe left for the night. He stood alone in his apartment and decided to maybe check in on Rachel. He walked across the hall, opening Monica and Rachel's door. He knelt down in front of Rachel, gently squeezing her hand. She opened her eyes, smiling sadly at him.

"Joe?"

"You gonna be alright?"

"I don't know. I don't know."

"You need me here?"

"I wanna go to sleep."

Joey nodded and gently kissed the top of her head before leaving. He stood in the hallway, leaning against the wall, trying to process the evening. The whole evening was insane. He wasn't even sure what he was feeling. He was exhausted, emotionally drained. He never really felt emotionally drained. He kinda wanted to find Kristi or Christopher so he could just hit him. It felt weird being emotionally drained. He was so sick of Chandler and he was also pissed at Shane. He kept replaying every interaction he had had with Shane. Shane had really grabbed Chandler by the dick and beat him? What had Shane said to Chandler at that Halloween party? What had Chandler done to piss him off that much? He was pretty sure the answer was nothing.

Joey's attention soon returned when he saw Monica walking toward him. Both remained quiet and she looked so fragile.

"Hey….I've been throwing stuff out," Joey said, although he was no longer sure that mattered.

"I don't care."

"Mon."

"He's dying….he's sick and he's dying. I don't want him to die."

"Me neither."

"He's been through so much...with how he grew up and-"

"He knew my buddy, Shane. Has you told this?" Joey asked.

"No, what?"

Joey sat on the steps and motioned for Monica to sit beside him. She looked at him, concerned.

"I had a buddy….you know the guy I told you about who died from a drug overdose while I was working in Los Angeles."

"Yeah."

"Did you know the story about the guy who beat Chandler up in middle school?"

"Yes."

"Apparently, my friend was the one who did it."

"Did you know that?"

"No...I just found that out but I knew he had been expelled or suspended or something but he never really came after me. He was an ass...also, Mon...look, everyone has a past. Before 1994, I probably wouldn't have been friends with you guys. Definitely wouldn't have been friends with dudes like Ross and Chandler, I would've beaten 'em up in school but I don't know, things change."

"You were a thug?" Monica asked, grinning a little.

"Ehhh, I took care of things. I did what I had to do," Joey said which made Monica laugh. Joey wondered about that comment, he thought he had already proven to Monica that he had been a crazy person before he met them, maybe he had to do more proving? "But...when I got back from L.A. things changed, Shane was dead and I didn't like how I was living and I changed. I answered an ad for some guy looking for a roommate and stripped naked in a girl's apartment because I thought lemonade meant something else and my life changed and now I would never beat up a guy like Chandler or Ross. It makes me sick that a buddy of mine did that."

Of course, that was the abridged version. There was a lot more that happened between Shane dying and him moving in. It was the death of Brian that had made him move into the apartment but he felt enough had been revealed for the night.

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"'Cause you're not alone in this, he's not dying. He's getting through it."

"I hope so. Although, I wanna hear more about the thug life," Monica said.

"I'm not getting into that...but I will say, I have a cousin.. last name... Soprano," Joey said. He had done so well at keeping it hidden but he just wanted Monica to know. He just felt she deserved it confirmed.

"Soprano?"

"As in the crime family," Joey said, as he got up and glanced at Monica, "Chandler better be so happy he only kissed my sister and no one from that side of the family."

If Chandler had slept with anyone from the Soprano family, Joey was pretty sure that hit would have gone through regardless of what Joey would have wanted. The Tribbiani family forgave a little easier.

"Are you serious?"

"He'll be fine, Mon. Joey's on it 'cause the number one rule of being part of a family like that, you take care of your own. You guys are my family." He said before walking into his apartment and shutting the door but as soon as he sat in the Barca lounger, Monica walked in and sat next to him.

"So the gunshot-"

"What gunshot?" Joey asked.

"The one I heard over the phone...Cookie-"

"That wasn't a mob hit, that was her killing her husband."

"Okay...Christopher? Shane? Were they-"

"They were."

"Okay...so...wait, Cookie's husband, what did they do with the body? There was a dead body in your apartment. What happened to him?" Monica asked.

"Monica, you wouldn't clean up my apartment because it was a crime scene, you really want me to tell you where they buried a dead body?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, that's no good."

"I also really don't know. I stayed in my room while Tony and Christopher did whatever the hell they needed to do," Joey said.

"Hmmm…"

"You know, I thought you knew I was a bit of a thug before I met you."

"No, I just thought you were an asshole," Monica said.

"Well, that too."

"Tomorrow is gonna suck," Monica said.

"I know, so what did you and Chandler talk about on the roof?"

"Nothing...just the same stuff. He's not well. Tomorrow, I'm gonna need you and Chandler to spend the day with Ross. I'll call Phoebe. Hopefully, I don't wake her grandmother. I want her here with Rachel. I will go back and forth between Ross and Rachel and we'll get through tomorrow."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Alright, I'm gonna-I'm gonna go to bed," Monica said as she got up and gently squeezed his arm before leaving.

Chandler returned about fifteen minutes later as Joey was watching television. He sat down in the other Barca lounger, staring quietly at TV and he said nothing.

"You know, I'm sorry about Shane," Joey said.

"I don't wanna talk about it. I'm sorry I tried to hit you."

"Impressive you tried. Shane tried once, sort of. It was kinda lame. He was huffing and puffing and going on about how he was a tough guy at his old school and he kept wanting to fight me. It was ridiculous but he kept going on and on so I did what I could do, I threw him up against the lockers with such force that the metal dented. He didn't mess with me again."

Joey looked over at Chandler and watched as a smile appeared on his face. He knew Chandler would like that story.

"Thanks. Did he ever say anything? About me? About why he got expelled?"

"Ehhh, not really. Little bit...I think...see, here's the thing...when he got expelled and was sent to live with some people in Queens, his entire family vanished. He tried to invite them to our high school graduation and they had moved without giving him their new address or phone number. When I was planning his funeral, I purposely put his obituary in like ten, twelve different papers in hopes that someone from his family would see it. No one did. No one came. I planned his entire funeral."

"Wow."

"I think he saw what you had, not the crap you've been through but the big house and the money and family, someone at the end of the day who wanted you there. I messed with him a bunch about what he had apparently done to you but I think what he wanted was family and he saw you as someone who had it and didn't appreciate it."

Chandler didn't respond and just remained quiet until Joey decided he needed to go to sleep. The whole day had sucked and maybe tomorrow it would get better or easier or it would still suck.

The next morning, he got up and got ready but when he went to wake up Chandler, he noticed his bed littered with little bottles of booze. Chandler was drunk. After Joey had gone to sleep, it seemed clear that Chandler had begun drinking on his own. He needed to get Chandler out before Monica saw. He grabbed his friend who barely mumbled some stuff as Joey helped walk him down the stairs and into a cab which they took to Ross' apartment. Once there, he helped Chandler who was still muttering. He was barely listening to anything Chandler was saying, he just needed to get him to Ross' apartment.

"What are you doing here?" Ross asked when he finally opened the door.

"Monica sent us over to take care of you," Joey said.

"I need a drink," Chandler groaned.

"Are you hungover?" Ross asked.

"Yes, see me, Mon, Chandler and Pheebs were holed up in Monica's room while you and Rachel were breaking up last night and we were there so long that Chandler started to go through withdrawals," Joey said.

"I found booze in my room, bitches, but I drank it all," Chandler said, "I feel like shit."

"Take him to my room," Ross said as Joey helped walk Chandler into Ross' room. Chandler lay down on the bed as he walked back out to join Ross on the couch.

"I told him I was flushing his pills and he tried to punch me in the face," Joey said.

"Are you joking?"

"Nope and I guess he found some booze in his room and drank because when I got him this morning, he was passed out so I practically carried him out."

"G-d," Ross said.

"How are you doing man?"

"Not good."

"Look, it'll be okay."

"I lost Rachel. She's….I'm…."

"I should have done something," Joey said.

"What?" Ross asked.

"I saw you with Chloe and...I'm always about minding my own business. My friend, Shane was like shooting up heroin in front of me and I did nothing. I saw you and Chloe kissing and did nothing-"

"Not your fault, man. I don't blame you. I blame me. I can't believe I messed this up."

"I'm sorry, man."

Ross and Joey sat silently, Joey wanted to say more but this just all seemed so out of his element. He didn't know what he should say. The silence was broken by the arrival of Monica.

"Where's Chandler?" Monica asked as she walked in.

"He's my room, sleeping off a hangover," Ross said.

"What? When did he-"

"In his room, alone...after I had gone to bed," Joey said.

"I thought you were related to the Sopranos?" Monica asked.

"Wait, what?" Ross asked, confused.

"Joey, go check on Chandler and make sure he's not dead, I cannot be near him right now or I will whack him," Monica said.

"On it," Joey said as he walked back towards Ross' bedroom, walked in and shut the door behind him. Chandler was half asleep on Ross' bed as he lay down next to him. He tried to hear what Monica and Ross were discussing and Monica seemed pissed.

After Monica left, Ross walked into his bedroom looking just as tired as Joey was.

"Have you had enough?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, what did you and Monica talk about last night when you went to the roof?" Joey asked. He had a feeling something had happened between Monica and Chandler last night. Something that caused him to start drinking.

"Nothing. Look, you guys don't get it...I am fine."

"I can't deal with this right now," Ross said as he walked out. Joey followed as Ross proceeded to get them breakfast as Chandler slept his hangover off. Ross didn't say much and neither did he, maybe more could be said later but at the moment, it was like everyone was just too tired to say what needed to be said.


	25. Chapter 25

**Babatomyfriends-please don't feel uncomfortable about being the only one reviewing this! I appreciate it so much. Seriously, if it wasn't for you-I probably would have just quit the story and I would be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to just stop writing here and send you the chapters.**

 **ShanaplusKlaus and RnR CnM-you guys review every once in a while so that's awesome too!**

 **Seriously though, it is getting insanely frustrating and it feels like I am only writing for like one or two people. If anyone else is out there, do you like it? Do you hate it? Do you have questions?**

 **Well, in this chapter...Joey and Chandler finally do it!**

 **March 1997**

Professionally, March was starting to look good for Joey. Very good. He had auditioned for a play, the lead and he had gotten the part. Rehearsals would be starting at the end of the month. It was spectacular. He hadn't gotten a part in so long. Sure, this director seemed insane but he had no clue about Joey's past and apparently had no idea about any sort of letter so when Joey got the part, it felt like his luck would finally change. Of course, personally, things were rather crappy. Rachel and Ross could not be in the same room together and Chandler was wasting away, he was now smoking as well and was getting even worse. Joey was no longer sure what he could do especially now that he had a job.

Rachel had invited them to a ski trip which he thought would be exciting. A great vacation from his long stint of unemployment before being employed. They would be staying up at Rachel's sister's cabin in Vermont, they'd ski although Joey wasn't sure where as there wasn't a lot of snow left on the ground. Maybe they could go hiking or off roading or mountain biking, they could possibly enjoy themselves but it seemed unlikely as Ross was not invited because Ross and Rachel were still not speaking and Chandler looked sicker and sicker. When they had arrived at the cabin, it was late but he thought maybe they could do a night hike but that was quickly decided against. He wanted to be in nature, wanted to see the sights, do something that didn't involve just listening to Rachel cry about Ross or trying to keep Chandler from killing himself. He missed just playing. Too much emotion was going on around him and he was starting to get itchy. Instead of hiking, he ended up going straight to bed. He was sharing a room with Chandler, Rachel had her own room and Monica and Phoebe were sharing a room. He barely spoke to Chandler who seemed more intent on smoking himself away. Joey was truly getting sick of all the drama. There were very few times where he missed hanging out with Christopher or anyone from his old life but he never had these intense emotional moments going on at every moment with those old friends of his. He couldn't even sleep uninterrupted. He wasn't sure what time it was but he woke up in a darkened room with Phoebe gently waking him up. He noticed Chandler was not in the bed next to him.

"So Mon wants to talk to you. I threw out Chandler's last bottle of pills so he's probably going to go through withdrawals again and she's been through it….so…"

"Seriously?" Joey asked.

"Yeah."

"So, I'm not gonna get to do anything fun in Vermont."

"Probably not. Let's talk to Mon."

"Where's he now?"

"Outside," Phoebe said.

Joey let out a groan and followed Phoebe out of the room towards Monica's. He noticed Monica and Rachel eating Twinkies as he lay down on the bed. Well, if they were going to wake him, they might as well feed him. He held out his hand and Rachel let out a snort as she handed him a Twinkie. Monica then began launching into instructions on how to watch Chandler but Joey wasn't listening. He was actually starting to get irritated and was about to say something when Monica suddenly called his name.

"And Joe….when you aren't watching him, you can go outside and play," Monica said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"He wasn't listening," Rachel said.

"I really wasn't," Joey said.

"There are mountain bikes and hiking gear and all sorts of other crap in the garage. My sister buys all that stuff so that she can get guys up here. Promise of a romantic weekend complete with doing sports things. I don't know. I call it sex bait anyway its hardly been used but it's why we couldn't park Phoebe's cab in the garage," Rachel said.

"Really?" Joey asked.

"You don't think we know you by now?" Monica asked.

"I don't know, but Rach, tell your sister it's working 'cause I'll have sex with all three of you right here, right now," Joey said.

"Why are you a pig?" Rachel asked.

"Also didn't you already learn what happens when you don't listen to a woman saying no?" Monica asked.

"Yeah but you know...so I still get to play?" Joey asked.

"What are you guys all doing in here?" Chandler asked as he stood in the doorway.

"Making fun of Joey," Phoebe said.

"Oh, that's always fun...can I join?" Chandler asked as he walked over to bed and plopped himself down. He weighed so little that the bed barely moved when he lay down.

"How are you feeling, sweetie? I know it's gonna get rough so we're all gonna be here for you, okay?" Monica said, reaching for him and squeezing his hand. "And Rachel, we'll be here for you too."

"If I have to call Ross, I will," Rachel said.

Joey didn't mean to let out a loud sigh but it came out. He was tired. He was just tired. The others looked at him and he tried to get out of it but he wasn't sure how to talk his way out of the annoyance he was sure was plastered on his face.

"Sorry," Joey mumbled.

"Hey, Joe. I brought some Baywatch tapes, Godfather, Scarface, Die Hard and Howard the Duck. You wanna go downstairs and watch while waiting for me to start puking my guts out," Chandler said.

"Oh, I'm in," Joey said as he and Chandler got up and made their way to the door.

"It's like two in the morning," Rachel said.

"I don't wanna do that," Monica said.

"Me neither," Phoebe said.

"Oh, wait...you three aren't invited," Chandler joked. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe's mouths dropped as they stared at Chandler and Joey stunned. Rachel grabbed a pillow and threw it at them as the two boys laughed.

"Yeah, you three eat your Twinkies, enjoy yourselves and talk about what big, giant jerks we are," Joey said.

"Oh, we will," Rachel said.

"Don't think we won't," Monica said.

"It's our favorite topic," Phoebe said.

Chandler and Joey laughed as they walked out of the room towards the bedroom they were sharing. Joey stood in the doorway, waiting for Chandler to get the movies.

"Is it gonna be bad, dude?" Joey asked. "The withdrawals?"

"Didn't you go through 'em with Shane?"

"I didn't really pay attention."

"Hmmm, well...they suck. The full on withdrawals suck, but you know…"

"You gonna be okay."

"Yeah," Chandler said, "I'll be fine."

Chandler grabbed the movies and walked out as Joey followed him downstairs. After setting up the movies and letting Godfather begin, the two boys made themselves comfortable.

"So….is this based on a true story?" Chandler asked, grinning at him. It had become a thing, every time they watched a mob movie, Chandler would ask if Joey knew what the movie was about, the true story or if he knew the people involved.

"Only in your head, dude….only in your head."

Joey rested his head back against the couch as they watched in silence. There wasn't a lot to say, a lot he wanted to say. Or maybe that wasn't true. There wasn't anything he felt like saying.

He was woken up though a few hours later by Chandler shaking violently on the couch. He was curled in the corner of the couch, looking fragile and sweating. He had a blanket wrapped around him and looked rather broken. Joey got up walked over to him and without thinking to ask if he could walk, he scooped Chandler up in arms and walked him into the bathroom. Kneeling down, Chandler grabbed hold of the toilet and began to throw up while Joey watched him.

"Thanks," Chandler said, wiping his mouth.

"You need to gain some weight. It was like carrying a newborn," Joey grumbled.

"Yeah, it's a new diet I'm trying. It's called getting down to my birth weight. I only drink vodka and pop pills."

"Hmmm, how's it going?" Joey asked.

"Not good. I'm sorry."

"Just get better."

"I'm trying. You know, I didn't congratulate you. The play. Good job," Chandler said.

"Thanks," Joey said.

Chandler turned back to the toilet and continued to throw up. Joey remained seated there, watching him. He felt bad for the guy. He really did. He really did wish he could do more. He really did not remember Shane ever doing this which made him feel even more guilty. How had he not paid attention?

"Was that your last bottle? What you told Pheebs?" Joey asked.

"It was," Chandler said.

"I'm gonna check under your bed when we get back. I'm sorry, I just have to...you lie way too easily. As an actor, it's impressive. As a human person, it's terrifying."

"I understand. I'm glad you're my roommate, Joe. Chanoey."

"Jandler."

"Chanoey sounds way better."

"No it doesn't. Chanoey sounds like a clown having sex with a chimney sweep," Joey said.

"Jandler sounds like a porn and not a good one."

"Chanoey sounds more like porn than Jandler," Joey said.

"Chanoey is smooth like….like…." Chandler began before throwing up again.

"See, it makes me wanna vomit too," Joey argued.

"Chanoey….Jandler sucks. Chanoey."

"You suck," Joey said.

"You suck."

"Jandler."

"Chanoey."

"Is this really what you two are arguing about?" Monica asked, appearing in the bathroom.

"Why are you up?" Joey asked as Monica sat by him on the bathroom floor.

"I couldn't sleep and I thought I'd check on you guys and….apparently...I don't-"

"Doesn't Chanoey sound better than Jandler?" Chandler asked.

Joey grinned, looking at both Monica and Chandler, "actually you know what sounds the best?"

"Don't say it," Chandler said.

"Mondler," Joey say laughing.

"I'm gonna throw up on you," Chandler said.

"Let's not...look, Joey you go to sleep. I'll take care of Chandler," Monica said.

"No, I got it. You go to bed."

"Yeah, take a break, Mon. Let Chanoey handle it," Chandler said.

"Jandler," Joey shot back.

Monica laughed as she ran her fingers through her hair and leaned back against the wall. Chandler began shaking as Joey began to help him, it was the start to a long, painful weekend. Everyone took turns with Chandler. Joey enjoyed the moments where he was allowed out, taking the bikes out from the garage and biking the trails. He loved being away from the drama for a little bit, he loved getting dirty and enjoying the scenery.

When he returned, it was usually his turn to watch Chandler. Before his turn began, he cleaned up, grabbed some pizza that Monica had made and retreated to the bathroom where Chandler was still curled up next to the toilet.

"Where were you?" Chandler said.

"Dirt biking the trails," Joey said.

"Really? Sounds fun."

"You ever been on a dirt bike?"

"No….although, while we're talking, I did want to say sorry," Chandler said.

"For what?"

"For everything. For sleeping with your sister, for-

"It's okay," Joey said.

"No, I really am sorry and I'm sorry about your friend, Shane."

"He really did that?" Joey asked, although he did believe Shane had done that.

"Yeah and at your Halloween party...the one thing I remember was you telling him to back off me. Thanks, man."

"You're welcome."

"I'm sorry he died, that sucks….his family has no clue?"

"I don't think so. I haven't heard anything. They really just cut off contact."

"Wow. He used to say his favorite game was beat the clown," Chandler said.

"You were the clown?" Joey asked.

"Yeah. What do you think he'd say if he knew we were friends?"

"Nothing, 'cause he wouldn't say a damn thing to me 'cause he knows I'd punch him in the head."

"Do you miss him?" Chandler asked.

"I do, actually. I wish I had done more and you know...when I spoke to him last, I wanted him to pick me up from the airport. He wanted to go back to school, work with addicts and he wanted to track you down and wanted to apologize to you."

"Really?" Chandler asked.

"Well, he said he wanted to track down the kid who he beat up, who got him expelled...you, apparently….and he wanted to apologize."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, he was really happy that day. I remember that and he said he wanted to apologize to the kid he beat up. Would you have forgiven him?"

"I don't know. He beat me up really bad and I was on the floor of the locker room alone for eight hours. It hurt to pee for like a week and a half. It was my fourteenth birthday."

"You know who I blame?" Joey asked. "Your school. I mean, fuck, who doesn't notice a beat up kid alone on the floor of a locker room for eight hours and it seems bizarre to me that they expelled him after they seemed to not really care."

"Well my mom probably called-"

"And pulled you out of school."

"Yeah and then I told my parents I was going to boarding school."

"Chandler, that's why they expelled Shane. Not because of you, but because your parents were taking you out of the school which meant probably a loss of money and donations so they kicked Shane out 'cause that didn't cost them anything. You both got fucked. No, he shouldn't have done that but please….your fruity tootie private school was weird as fuck."

Chandler just kept staring at him, Joey knew he had hit on something. There was a look Chandler got when he was stunned at something Joey said.

"You amaze me, man," Chandler said.

"I'm telling you. I mean, I'm willing to bet if your mom hadn't pulled you out, he wouldn't have been expelled. You went to a crappy ass school."

"Maybe. Middle school sucks for everyone though."

"I lost my virginity to my seventh grade english teacher."

"Okay, for most people. He would have apologized."

"Yeah and I believe he would have."

"I think I would have forgiven him. Honestly, that wasn't the worst thing that had ever happened to me….on my birthday."

"What was the worst?" Joey asked.

"One of my mom's boyfriends felt me up….I was like ten, he touched-felt-"

"Raped?" Joey asked.

"Kinda."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," Chandler said.

"You know, when you feel better, when we get home….you wanna go off roading or dirt biking or something? You and me. You've had enough drama in your life."

"What about a Rangers game or a Kings game. I think I'm secretly a Kings fan," Chandler said.

"I'll think about it. You suck at hockey games."

"I-it's intense."

Joey laughed as Chandler threw up again. He would make sure there would be fun. Maybe he could start revealing more of his life. More of his past, he and Chandler had been through so much and there was so much Chandler already knew.

Ross soon arrived at the cabin and the group stayed longer than planned, watching Chandler and making sure he was okay and by their final day, Monica decided to make macaroni and cheese and hot dogs, Chandler's favorite meal. The dinner was still so awkward, of course because Chandler still felt a little ill and there was still tension between Rachel and Ross.

"Hey...can I say something," Chandler said as he picked up his water glass. The group looked at him. "Um….I know it's been rough but um….I'm glad you guys are here and you helped me through this. Thank you."

The group simply smiled and nodded as they clicked their glasses together and sat quietly. Joey was thankful to be getting home. He would be in a play soon, things would be getting better. He would have to still check under Chandler's bed for drugs but he would still make it fun. He wanted that fun that came when he first moved in, hammer darts, throwing whipped balloons out the window. They hadn't done that in so long. He so desperately wanted to do that again.

"So, Joe," Ross began, "is true you have mob ties?"

Joey's eyes widened as he looked over at Ross and shook his head. He wasn't sure where that question had come from. He noticed Monica grinning as well and he remembered when Monica had mentioned something right after Ross and Rachel broke up. She had mentioned something about the mob ties. Ross was clearly trying to lighten the mood as well, it seemed. Joey wasn't sure this was the best way to lighten it or maybe it was.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Excuse me?" Rachel asked.

"Hey, I had friends before you guys. I may or may not know some people," Joey said. He couldn't tell them everything but maybe some stuff. Maybe this will make the conversation a little bit more fun although he never considered what he did with Tony to be fun but to these five, maybe he could put a more fun spin on it?

"You used to work in construction. Oh, was that a front?" Phoebe asked.

"Did you ever whack people?" Chandler asked.

"Could you whack us?" Ross asked.

Joey laughed at how excited Ross and Chandler were. If only they knew….

"Do you know what that means?" Joey asked. "And I never whacked anyone….I just...I may have some relatives who are in, you know, the...what they call the sanitation business. If you know what I mean."

"Whoa…." Phoebe said.

"Wait, but...if you're really a mobster," Chandler said.

"I'm not a mobster," Joey tried. He never considered himself one.

"Yeah, if you are….how come your sister had to hit me and not you," Chandler said.

"Cause I'd break you in half," Joey said. It took every amount of will power he had to not reveal the truth to Chandler. He couldn't tell him that, it would probably drive him back to pill use.

"Oh, yeah, yeah….oh, well-" Chandler said.

"You really wanna try me, Bing?" Joey asked.

"No," Chandler said.

"Monica, Ross, remember Sharon?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah?" Monica asked.

"I think her neighbor got killed by a mob guy. I remember this so clearly. Mon, I think we were like seniors at the time but man, okay, Tabrubino….that was his last name. Sharon used to babysit the guy's daughter, really cute little girl. Anyway one day, Sharon, Nancy, Mindy and I were headed to the mall-"

"And I wasn't invited because-"

"I didn't want you there and that's not the point of the story," Rachel said, cutting Monica off, "anyway, Mr. Tabrubino was walking outside with these two guys who had guns and were shoving him into the car and then this one called us all sluts and told us to mind our own business and then once they all got in the car, this other guy stuck his head out the window and yelled at us and wanted me to suck his balls."

Joey felt nauseous listening to that story. He knew that story. It had been Rachel. Rachel had been on the street with her friends and that guy, Mr. Tabrubino, Joey had been responsible for that. He had gone into the house, gotten him out with a gun, got him to the car. He was there when they drove Tabrubino to the woods and remained in the car while Christopher, Shane and Tony had dragged him somewhere. He remembered sitting in the car, turning up the volume on the radio as he heard gun shots.

"Did they ever find Mr. Tabrubino? Monica asked.

"No, no they didn't. It was like he vanished and it was so sad and Sharon told me that Angie, the little girl, would be sobbing to her about how she missed her dad," Rachel said.

"That's horrible," Phoebe said.

Joey felt his heart break a little. He hated knowing the "after part". Seeing pictures of children, watching Rachel clutching Brian's body to wake him up. He hated knowing that he had taken this guy away from a little girl who was wondering and maybe still wondering what happened to her dad.

"No knows what happened. Wait, Joe...so was it a mob hit?" Rachel asked.

He almost choked on his food as he looked at Rachel. He had already admitted he had mob ties. Could he admit to this? What if he admitted to it and they all hated him? Although it didn't seem likely. He looked over at Chandler who was staring right back at him but this time with a blank look, the excitement gone from his face.

"It may have been a mob hit….I don't know. If he vanished, he's probably dead. He probably was taken somewhere…." Joey said.

"Whoa….it was so terrifying. I was like shaking the whole the way to the mall. I almost didn't even buy anything," Rachel said.

"You could have bought me a present for not inviting me," Monica joked.

"I'm not apologizing for that," Rachel shot back.

That day. Joey could not stop thinking about it. They still pumped him for questions about being part of a mob but that story, that was why he couldn't just come out and tell everything. He knew exactly where Tabrubino was. He could so clearly remember the group of high school girls standing on the sidewalk, staring at them.

"And you know, we did tell the police what we saw," Rachel said.

And that once again brought him right back to the conversation. The cops?

"When was this? You never told me you talked to the police," Monica said.

"Well, it wasn't a long talk but after that happened, the wife was a wreck and Sharon told her that the four of us had seen something and then we told the cops. Just answered questions. Like I said two guys got him in the car and then like this other guy yelled and there were four guys and Tabrubino...I don't think anything ever came of it. Oh no, wait...if it was a mob hit will I get whacked 'cause I told the cops?" Rachel asked.

"No, you won't," Joey said.

"What about Sharon, Mindy and Nancy 'cause they suck," Rachel said.

"No, they won't," Joey said.

He could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Rachel and her friends had told the cops? What else had they told them? Soon after the Tabrubino incident, he had been arrested for rape. The cops had offered him immunity if he would tell them what he knew about Tony. He declined but he tried to recall the interrogation. His mind had been so clouded, thinking about Monique and just protecting Tony. Had they asked? Did they mention that there were witnesses? What happened? Nothing did. He knew that. Tony always took care of it. All the charges were dropped, nothing ever happened to Rachel and her friends. Nothing happened with the investigation. Tony had truly gotten the whole mess wiped away and he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know how.

Despite anything, Joey knew Chandler knew. That night while Joey was resting in his bed, Chandler, who felt well enough to finally return to their room, walked in and shut the door behind him. Joey and Chandler kept staring at each other.

"What happened to that guy?" Chandler asked as he walked to his own bed and got in.

"What guy?"

"Joey."

"Alright, fine….I was there."

"Shit."

"I um...I used to be...the personality," Joey said.

"You have a personality?" Chandler teased.

"You wanna hear this shit?" Joey asked.

"Sorry...I saw an opportunity."

Joey sat up and turned to face Chandler and Chandler faced him. This was going to be tough. He hated discussing any of this.

"Okay, I would go into the house or whatever and lead the person out to Tony's car or to Christopher or Shane. I would bring the guy to them. I went into Tabrubino's house, forced him out, saw four very stunned high school girls on the street and I think Shane was the one who told Rachel to suck his balls."

"Nice."

"Yeah. Tabrubino was freaked. I remember he shit himself in the car," Joey said.

"I would," Chandler said.

"Once we got out into the woods somewhere, Tony, Christopher and Shane took him somewhere and I sat in the car, listened to the radio really loud to-to drown out the gun shots."

"Holy crap."

"I was arrested for what happened with Monique a little bit after that and they wanted information on Tony. I wouldn't give it to them. I'm assuming they already knew because Rachel and her friends probably told the cops what they saw."

"Why didn't anything ever happen to them? Tony saw them, right? He knew they were witnesses. I mean, I'm glad nothing happened but-"

"Probably, thought they were just a bunch of little high school girls and didn't think too much of them. Besides he has a daughter, he wouldn't have orchestrated a hit on a bunch of seventeen year olds who probably had no clue what they were even getting themselves into."

"How nice," Chandler said.

"Yeah, he's got a heart, believe it or not but...Chandler you cannot say a word."

"I won't. So you've killed people?"

"No, no...I just brought them to Tony. I knew what was going to happen but no and one day, it was the summer, right before I went to Los Angeles. Tony wanted me to kill some guy who had been brought into his office. I couldn't do it. I pointed the gun at Tony and he pointed his gun back at me so I shot a picture on the wall and Christopher killed the guy and I grabbed the guy's wallet. He had pictures of his wife and kids and I wanted to go Los Angeles. I had a bit part on a show and I wanted to go so I went, came back, Shane was dead. Slept on couches for a few years and the thing happened with Brian. That's why I moved in Chandler. I knew I couldn't afford to live in our place. Please, I barely worked once I got back to New York. There was a brief second stay in L.A. when I did Vince and Bob but really, please...I had no money but I didn't wanna go back there to doing that."

Chandler remained silent as he kept staring at Joey. Joey kept trying to read his mind but he wasn't sure what his friend was thinking.

"Thank you," Chandler said.

"Thank you?"

"For telling me all of that. I wondered and I'm glad I could help you," Chandler said.

"I don't want you thinking I'm taking advantage of you. I mean, I know Ross has said-"

"Hey, it's my money. I'm not an idiot. If I couldn't afford to pay, I'd let you know. It's fine. I mean, it would help if you contributed a little but I get it. Thank you for telling me and I'll keep it safe."

"Thanks….actually, I think I know where I wanna take you."

"Where?"

"Well, you're feeling better right?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"'Cause I'm taking you to eat. Umbertos. You've already been to Sparks and once when I was there, a guy got killed outside but Umbertos? I was four and some mob guy, Crazy Joe, got killed on his birthday."

"Oh, that's rough. Bad birthday."

"I know and I was so pissed off. It was all this commotion and my pizza got knocked to the ground and I had to crawl under the table to eat then my parents pulled me away and my pizza was left on the ground. Sucked."

Joey felt himself getting a little teared up, remembering the pizza. He heard Chandler laughing in the bed next to him. It made him realize how long it had been since he had heard Chandler laugh. There was always something so rewarding to him about getting Chandler to laugh. He knew the others agreed, when you got Chandler to laugh at one of your jokes, it was almost like a stamp of approval.

"Love you, Joe," Chandler said, still laughing as he reached over to turn off the lamp on the nightstand.

"Right back at you, Chan Man," Joey said.

"Chanoey forever," Chandler said.

"Jandler, asshole."

"Shut up," Chandler said.

"Although, real question...which one do you love more? Jandler or Mondler?" Joey asked and began laughing as Chandler threw a jacket at Joey's head. It was good to have his friend back and he was glad he had told Chandler everything and now he'd have to take him to Umbertos. That would definitely be entertaining.


	26. Chapter 26

**March 1997-April 1997**

He woke up to the smell of pancakes outside his room. It had been a long draining March as they headed into April. Chandler was officially off pills. He still drank but there no pills anywhere, which was fine. His roommate was still insanely thin but he was gaining weight, with help from the others. Rachel and Chandler did weekly lunches together and apparently, she was taking him to places where he could get bacon cheeseburgers and chili cheese fries. Everyone was doing their part and Joey was doing it by ordering a lot of pizza which he was more than willing to do. April was going to be better as he had a play to be in. He was the lead. Getting up, he followed the smell of pancakes and smiled as Chandler was making them both chocolate chip pancakes.

"That smells good," Joey said, sitting at the stools as Chandler placed a plate in front of him.

"Well, it's your first day of work….finally….and I'm gonna meet mobsters tonight," Chandler said.

"First, don't call 'em that, second….that's-"

"Okay, okay….I've been perfecting," Chandler said, "I'm gonna make 'em offer they can't refuse."

"Who?" Joey asked.

"What?"

"Who are you going to make an offer to that they can't refuse and what's the offer?"

"The Godfather. Okay, how about this, 'today I settled all family business, so don't tell me you're innocent, Carlo.'"

"You're not meeting anyone named, Carlo."

"Why are you ruining this for me?" Chandler asked, "You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend."

"Scarface?"

"Yes."

"Okay….you're meeting Christopher and Kristi and you need to be cool."

"Did you just meet me?"

"I know I'm asking a lot."

"Am I gonna meet Tony?" Chandler asked.

"I think he said he would stop by, he doesn't love Umbertos...kinda enemy territory, rival mobs."

"Whoa," Chandler said.

"He said he would stop by."

"So cool 'cause you know, you can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word," Chandler said.

"Untouchables?" Joey asked.

"Yep."

"I'm gonna end up regretting this, aren't I?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, probably. Just a little bit," Chandler said, as he placed a pancake on Joey's plate and slid it towards him, "now if you want me to keep my mouth shut, it's gonna cost you some dough. I figure a thousand bucks is reasonable, so I want two."

"What?" Joey asked.

"Miller's Crossing."

"I've never even seen that one. Okay, you don't mention mob hits, guns, killing of people. Don't mention Brian….any sort of thing. Just...try to be you and not Don Corleone."

"Should I wear a hat?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, I'll be wearing a suit 'cause of work...although, it's not a pinstripe suit. Does it need to be one? And okay do I need to pick up a cane?" Chandler asked.

"I swear to G-d."

"This is gonna be so fun."

"I always thought so. I mean, I remember Mr. Tabrubino being super excited when he met us. Maybe I could take you to his body and you could ask?"

"Well, none of them are killing me," Chandler said.

Joey let out a cough, remembering Christopher being the one called to orchestrate the hit on Chandler. He would have to tell Christopher to shut up as well. Despite everything, he was kinda excited to show Chandler this world, nervous of course because he wasn't sure what Chandler would say and he wasn't sure what Christopher would say but he thought maybe, just maybe it would all go well or it could go horribly wrong.

Walking into the theater, it really had been so long. He truly did love his job, loved being on stage or in front of the camera. It would always be such a strange thing. He really had fallen into acting. By the stage, he noticed a girl with curly hair chatting with another girl who looked strangely like Monica. He figured one of those girls was his co-star.

"Hey, which is one of you is my leading lady?" Joey asked.

He wondered if he had walked into something weird because suddenly the girl with the black hair seemed incredibly uncomfortable and it felt tense.

"Oh, you know what….Kate, I have to go," the girl with the black hair said.

"What? I thought you were gonna let me ask Reggie to see if he could find a part for you in the play?" The curly haired girl whom apparently was named, Kate, said.

"Yeah, but...I-I have to pick…Lauren up from school."

"School's not over. It's ten in the morning."

"Doctor's appointment. I should go. I'll call you," the girl said as she practically sprinted out of the theater while Joey's mind was still trying to process the bizarre exchange. The girl looked strangely familiar but he figured it was because she looked like Monica. He looked back at Kate, she seemed rather confused as well.

"What was that about?"

"Hmmm, not sure," Kate said as she walked away from him towards a craft service table.

"So how you doin'?" Joey asked.

"I'm okay. You know, you look really familiar."

"Oh, well I've been in a lot of television shows, music videos, commercials, I just completed a stint as Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days of Our Lives and-"

"You're the milk guy?"

"What?" Joey asked.

He had regretted the infomercial as soon as he had done it. It was an infomercial for opening milk. His friends and family loved that infomercial, often asking if he could open their milk. Chandler now refused to open a carton of milk on his own, feeling Joey should get the practice. He had done it for the money but had he known how much he would get mocked for it, more so than any other project he had ever done, he might have turned it down.

"I-I-I was on TV101 and Vince and Bob-"

"What are those?"

"Television shows. Music videos. Heinz ketchup."

"No, but you're the milk guy. Oh, here open this," Kate said, handing him a carton of milk.

"I-I-you know, I was in soap opera."

"Cool, Milk Guy," Kate said.

He let out an annoyed sigh as Kate laughed. This was already going to be difficult. He could tell. Kate was making it difficult for him to enjoy himself. She had gotten everyone to ask him if he could pour milk for them and she would not leave him alone. It was annoying, incredibly annoying.

"You know, you can stop anytime," Joey said after the millionth time she had asked someone to ask him to open their milk.

"What? Oh, come on Joey, I'm having fun."

"You know, our characters are supposed to like each other….you're kind of a bitch," Joey said.

Kate let out a snort as she shook her head, "you know….you don't think I know guys like you?"

"Guys like me?"

"Get all the girls with one line, sleep with 'em, never call again. I bet you never had a woman put you in your place."

"I have to."

"Really?"

"Monica," Joey said.

"Who?"

"She's a girl and she's put me in my place. So….whatever…."

"Is she you girlfriend?"

"She wishes," Joey muttered as he reached for the last cookie on a tray on the craft services table.

"I highly doubt that," Kate said.

"You know, you're mean," Joey said.

"I'm sorry, you can't handle it?" Kate said, taking the cookie from his plate.

"I can handle it, you're just mean," Joey said, before taking the cookie back and taking a big bite, "and don't touch my damn cookie. Joey doesn't share food."

Joey walked off still rather pissed by this girl. Kate just seemed so full of herself. She just kept going out of her way to piss him off. She would talk about how she went to Yale and how so much better she was. He was annoyed by everything about her.

"She's just the worse," Joey complained over pizza at Umbertos that night. Kristi and Christopher were sitting across from him, they were waiting for Chandler and Joey thought he'd get a head start. "She took my cookie."

"Whoa….that's brave, did you stab her with a fork?" Christopher asked.

"I would have. She's really horrible. She's like….she smells like dumb and she is dumb….oh, I went to Yale. Oh, am I special actor 'cause I went to Yale, yeah, bite me," Joey said.

"I think you like her," Kristi said.

"Are you not listening?" Joey asked.

"I am. You've been talking about her non-stop," Kristi said.

"I don't like her, she took my cookie," Joey said.

"Yeah, Kristi, you should know our boy by now. You don't touch the man's cookies," Christopher said.

"Exactly," Joey said.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Kristi said reaching for a slice of pizza from his plate. Joey smacked her hand away.

"What are you doing?" Joey asked.

"You have two more pizzas coming," Kristi said.

"Yes, only two. I'm watching what I eat," Joey said.

"You're a freak," Kristi said.

"Yep," Joey said, taking a bite, "get your own."

"Okay, dude….so when's your sugar daddy coming?" Christopher asked.

"He's on his way. Few ground rules, he knows about Brian. We do not discuss me having to pay Eddie off. We certainly do not mention that you had been hired to kill him," Joey said.

"He may like that story," Christopher said.

"Okay, do you have friends? Like actual people who like you? Kristi and I don't count," Joey said.

"I don't like him," Kristi said.

"Okay, I don't count," Joey said. "Look, the guy is just a few weeks clean. I'd rather not have him know how I beat you with a gun that you were about to blast into the back of his skull."

"I think it's a lovely story," Christopher said.

"I do think you need to learn how to play with others. By the way, is Tony coming?" Joey asked.

"I don't think so man, you know he hates this place," Joey said.

"I know. Oh, he's here," Joey said as noticed Chandler walked in. Joey immediately waved him over. As Chandler approached the table, he kept grinning wildly at Christopher and Kristi and Joey was wondering if he had made the worst decision.

"I'm Kristi and this Christopher."

"Hi," Chandler said as he sat down next to Joey, "hi...um, did you say hello to my little friend?"

"What?" Christopher asked.

"You promised," Joey said.

"I did no such thing," Chandler said, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite.

"You let him eat your pizza?" Kristi said.

"It's his sugar daddy, he can eat whatever the hell wants. Hell, he probably eats him," Christopher said.

"Oh, no….that was last night," Chandler said, his mouth filled with food.

"What is wrong with you?" Joey asked.

"So much….so Kristi, Joey tells me you're a stripper," Chandler said.

"I am a dancer and an adult film actress," Kristi said.

"I like adult films," Chandler said.

"So why are you his sugar daddy?" Kristi asked.

"'Cause I made him-"

"If you finish that sentence, I'll punch you in the head," Joey said, cutting Chandler off.

"You don't understand, Joe, I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am," Chandler said.

"On the Waterfront," Christopher said, pointing at Chandler.

"Hey….now say hello to my little friend," Chandler said.

"Are you gonna bark all day or are you gonna bite?" Joey asked, relenting, deciding he would just have to play along before realizing Chandler's confused look like he was trying to recall that one. "Reservoir Dogs. Seriously?"

"Crap….say hello your sad little friend," Chandler said.

"I'm gonna hit the bar, what do you want?" Christopher said, "you know I hate this place."

"I know," Joey said.

"I'll come with you to get some drinks," Kristi said as she and Christopher got up. "So you boys want something?"

"Um," Chandler said looking over at Joey.

"Get a drink, don't get drunk and don't take any shit when you're done," Joey said.

"I'm clean and you threw it all out," Chandler said.

"I had to….no sugar daddy of mine is gonna be a drug addict," Joey joked.

"I really want that on a t-shirt," Chandler said.

"My G-d, they're like a married couple," Christopher said.

"Yeah, you sure he's not your sugar daddy?" Kristi asked.

"Only if he wants it bad enough," Chandler said.

"Do you ever listen to the things you say?" Joey asked.

"Yes, I do," Chandler said.

"You know, I kinda like this kid. I'm glad we didn't shoot him in the head," Christopher said as Joey's eyes suddenly widened. He stared at Kristi who looked shocked as well.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Christopher, let's get drinks," Kristi said, pulling him away from the table.

"What?" Chandler asked, looking over at Joey.

"Nothing, nothing...forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown," Joey said, grinning.

"Chinatown, nice. You know as far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a gangster," Chandler said.

"Goodfellas. So you enjoying yourself?" Joey said.

"It's fun. I mean….different. Kristi and Christopher knew Shane, right?"

"Shane and Christopher used to do drugs together. They did hard stuff like heroin and cocaine and-and-if I ever catch you doing that, I swear to G-d Bing-"

"I don't touch the hard stuff. I don't….I-the names scare me. I'm too afraid to try them."

"Okay, alright," Joey said. "Promise."

"I promise. So how was your play?"

"Oh, oh, there's a girl. I hate her. Her name is Kate. Doesn't that sound like a bitchy, stuck up girl's name? She told everyone about the milk infomercial and now all day people were asking me to open their milk and she kept bragging about Yale. Who brags about Yale?"

"People that went to Yale."

"She's obnoxious and she really thinks she's cute and-"

"Do you think she's cute?"

"No."

"Did you ask how she was doing?" Chandler asked.

"Yes."

"And?"

"She said fine."

"Oh my G-d."

"What?"

"Welcome to my world, loser," Chandler said.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You like her and she doesn't like you in that way. You're just like me," Chandler said.

"I think that's the meanest thing you've ever said to me," Joey said.

Chandler began laughing as Christopher and Kristi returned to the table. Joey soon realized he had very little to worry about. Chandler was his usual funny self and Christopher was also strangely okay. Which led him to think more about Kate. Chandler was wrong, they were all wrong. He didn't like Kate. He was never the kind to actually feel something for a girl, he really never had been. He was the love 'em and leave 'em type, not the type to want more. He was a player, that was his reputation, he had always been that type. What had changed?

Getting home that night, he was still pondering this. Had leaving his old life made him think about girls differently. No, he had never thought of girls differently. They were all just girls, women. He was who he was….

"You're still thinking about her?" Chandler asked as he grabbed a bunch of balloons out of their drawer and a couple cans of whipped cream from their fridge. They were home now and decided to play one of their most favorite games, throwing balloons out the window. Joey grabbed a can and began filling one of the balloons.

"I'm not…."

"Have you ever fallen for a girl? Like really liked her?" Chandler asked.

"No. Have you?"

"Yeah."

"Come on, Janice."

"Well, I liked Janice but no, that's not who I was thinking about. Two, I've loved two girls. Janice and Lizzie. She was my first girlfriend, G-d, I loved that girl and I treated her like shit. Monica said she enabled me and let me get away with too much. I think she's right. I mean, Liz took care of me over and over….and I told her I loved her and she said, 'oh, crap'. She had cheated on me, that's how we broke up. I have a feeling Ross still keeps in touch with her but he's being weird and won't tell me."

"Would you be mad if he was?"

"No, I'm...I'm holding out for someone else," Chandler said.

"Who?" Joey asked.

Chandler gave him a look and let out a snort. Joey smiled staring at the front door, knowing exactly who he was talking about.

"You know it's gonna happen," Joey said.

"I don't know. She's too good for me."

"Well, no shit but you know she loves you," Joey said as he filled up another balloon.

"Maybe. Now she's going out with Pete so-"

"That's nothing."

"Whatever...I don't...let's discuss you. You've never really fallen for someone?"

"No."

"That's sad."

"You're sad," Joey said as the two finished filling up the balloons, walked over to the window and began tossing them out.

As they kept tossing and keeping score, Joey kept thinking about what Chandler had said. Was it sad that he really had never fallen for anyone? Why hadn't he ever fallen for anyone? He was twenty nine years old. Had he ever had a girlfriend? A long term one? "Fuck." He muttered as a balloon splattered on the ground below, narrowly missing a couple leaving Central Perk.

"Close," Chandler said.

"No, this is your fault….and Phoebe and Rachel and Monica's fault and maybe Ross'."

"What is our fault?"

"You're making me get feelings."

"I'm sorry, man….you wanna hug it out?" Chandler asked.

"No," Joey said.

"Come here," Chandler said, turning towards him and holding out his arms.

Joey held up a balloon and started backing away from him, "Get away from me."

"Let's hug, come hug your Sugar Daddy. Sugar Daddy wants a hug," Chandler said as Joey kept walking away.

"Don't be weird."

"Sugar Daddy wants some sugar. Come say hello to my little my friend….oh, that does sound weird."

Joey threw the balloon at Chandler who immediately ducked, sending the balloon into Chandler's room until slammed against the wall right above his bed, covering the wall in whipped cream. Chandler's mouth dropped as Joey began laughing when he suddenly felt a balloon hit him in the head. Joey was covered as he realized Chandler had thrown a balloon at him.

"Oh, you're a dead man," Joey said as he began chasing Chandler around the apartment and soon the throwing balloons out the window game was over as they were happily just tossing them at each other. Throwing them around the apartment until they were stopped by Monica and Rachel who opened the door just as another balloon hit Joey in the stomach.

"What are you two doing?" Monica asked.

"Nothing," Joey said.

"Nothing," Chandler said.

"Oh, my G-d….I'll be right back," Monica said walking back into her apartment.

"You boys are in so much trouble," Rachel said, laughing.

Chandler and Joey looked at each other and began to advance onto Rachel. She quickly turned and ran back into her apartment just as Monica walked back into their apartment with her cleaning supplies. He did want want to make a joke about how she would clean this but not his old apartment but thought against it.

Kate. He just kept thinking of her, of her curls, of her smell. She smelled like cookies and roses. He liked cookies. This was not okay. Not fair. He wasn't supposed to feel things, but he couldn't help it. He could help thinking about her. Everytime he was close to her, he thought of her.

"I blame you girls for this," Joey said.

A week or so into rehearsals and his feelings were getting more and more intense. He sat at Central Perk surrounded by the girls who seemed to be taking too much joy from his pain.

"Oh my G-d, I'm so happy. I feel like I'm watching my child evolve into like a human being," Monica said.

"I don't wanna evolve into a human being. Go away, Monica," Joey said.

"This is so amazing. I didn't even know you were capable of having a crush on a girl," Rachel said.

"Me neither. I miss my old friends. They never did this kinda crap. They didn't care about my feelings," Joey said.

"Hmmm, and with those friends how many times were you arrested?" Monica asked.

"Go away, Monica," Joey said.

"I'm loving watching this," Phoebe said.

"I expected more from you Pheebs," Joey said.

"What if he gets his heart broken?" Rachel asked.

"Awww, that might mean he has a heart," Monica said.

"Oh, that would be such a revelation," Phoebe said.

"You three suck as people," Joey said.

The girls were laughing as they continue to mess with him and it got worse when Ross and Chandler joined them from playing tennis. They joking did not stop and he was getting more and more irritated.

"Look, Joey all joking aside….just ask her about herself," Monica said, "get to know her."

"She went to Yale," Joey said.

"What was her major?" Monica asked.

"Theater," Joey said.

"Okay, what else?" Monica asked.

"I don't know. What do I care?" Joey asked. "Chandler, Ross help me out."

"I knew everything about Julie...and Carol," Ross said.

"Did you know she was a lesbian?" Joey asked.

"That didn't come up until the end of our marriage," Ross said.

Joey let out a sigh, he really just could not stop thinking about her. Every part of her. He wanted to get to know her and it was driving him crazy.

It was the night before the play began and finally something happened. He and Kate were practicing lines, running them back and forth and Kate seemed so stressed. Unnecessarily so. The play wasn't that good but Kate seemed determined to make something of her character.

"I need a break," Joey said, collapsing into one of the seats in the front row.

"One more time, Joe. Come on-"

"We've done this about four hundred times. You know, we ain't getting Tony Awards for this."

"I know but Reggie wants-"

"Why are you with him?" Joey asked.

Reggie was Kate's boyfriend and that was another issue in the crush from hell. Reggie was absurd, he reminded Joey of Elmer Fudd and he just seemed entirely wrong for Kate.

"None of your business."

"He's a turd."

"He's not a turd. You just don't like that I turned you down. I bet I'm the first woman to ever say no to you."

"No, I've had women say no," Joey said, immediately thinking of Monique.

"Oh, really? And I then I bet you wouldn't stop because you didn't believe she didn't want you."

"This conversation is starting to make me uncomfortable."

Kate sat next to him, flipping through the script. Joey watched her and he wanted to kiss her, he wanted to touch her. He hated this feeling.

"This play sucks. Reggie is directing crap….this whole thing…" Kate said.

"I know."

"G-d…..I just thought I would be so much farther by now. I auditioned for a television show called, "Michael's" in Los Angeles and a movie called "Starship" both are shooting in L.A. and...I hope I get those parts."

"I get you. I never even wanted to be an actor. I mean, I grew up in Queens. No one was an actor in my neighborhood," Joey said.

"I grew up in Queens, too. I moved to Long Island when I sixteen but I lived in Queens. Forest Hills."

"Fancy," Joey said, laughing a little. They definitely would never have run in the same circles.

"Why didn't you go to college?"

"I was no good at school, wouldn't have let me in."

"Oh."

"Let's call it a night," Joey said. "We're not gonna get any better so let's go. Let's get drinks."

"Okay, yeah, you're right."

Joey stood up and grabbed Kate's hand, pulling her up. He walked her out as they headed towards a nearby bar. It was there that the conversation flowed and Joey actually tried getting to know her. She had two brothers, one had passed away. She talked about her parents, her life and how she had become an actress and the evening ended with a kiss which led to more. He was still Joey of course. He loved spending the night with her and talking with her. He had never felt a connection like this. It was amazing, wonderful and very short lived.

Opening night was….well it opened and the reviews were terrible which he had expected but what he hadn't expected was the news that Kate had gotten those roles in Los Angeles. She would be moving and this all felt so deja vu to him. Reggie had broken up with Kate after the bad reviews and she ended up moving. She had said goodbye to him during their second night. When she left, she said she would call when she got situated, but he knew. He would never speak to her again. He knew it was doomed. He had wanted to take her to the airport, but she said no. She was gone.

When he got home, he felt heartbroken as he walked into Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone was there as he plopped himself down on the couch. They all gathered around him as he felt awful.

"I really blame you, Mon," Joey said.

"I'm sorry," Monica said.

"She left. We had...I thought it could have been something and I don't fall, I'm twenty nine and I was perfectly happy being the love 'em and leave 'em guy but...fuck this hurts," Joey said, "and I didn't even know her that long, you know. She was there and not really my girlfriend. She's going to Los Angeles and she said she'd call when she got situated."

"Maybe she will," Rachel said.

"No she won't. I've done that move and said those exact lines. I was in Los Angeles twice and I'm sure I was hooking up with someone before I left but once I did, I left and forgot about them. I'm never gonna see her again," Joey said.

"Maybe this is a good thing," Phoebe said, "look all of us have been where you are right now and you've never been there and maybe knowing what that feels like now, maybe it'll make a difference."

"You're becoming a person, Joe. It's a good thing. You're becoming a little less of a pig," Rachel said.

"Oink, oink," Joey said.

"You want me to make you some sandwiches while I order pizza?" Monica asked.

"I'll get us Die Hard and how about Godfather, Scarface, Usual Suspects, Carlito's Way….all the mob movies," Chandler said.

"Oooo, then you can feel like you're back to your roots," Phoebe said.

Chandler got up and walked out the door to get the movies as Monica got the food ready and ordered pizza. Rachel joined her in the kitchen to make slow death smoothies and Phoebe and Ross sat on on either side of him.

"Sorry about Kate," Ross said.

"That's okay, sorry about…" Joey said nodding towards Rachel.

"It's okay."

Joey let out a sigh as he rested comfortably on the couch. Maybe this whole thing with Kate was a turning point for him. Maybe he could actually be in a relationship with someone. Maybe he could actually date someone? That could be a new step for him? A new part to his new life.


	27. Chapter 27

**May 1997-September 1997**

The last time the group of six had gone on a vacation, there had been drama. Chandler ended up withdrawing from drugs. Rachel and Ross had just broken up and everything seemed to be a complete and utter mess. He just really had not enjoyed that camping trip and when Phoebe had suggested a beach trip, he was a little reluctant. Sure, Chandler was healthy looking again and the group seemed to be put back together but especially where Ross and Rachel were concerned, there was still a possibility of drama. In other news, he was also over Kate and as he had figured, he had not heard from her. He got back to dating and felt maybe with this beach trip, maybe it would not be so dramatic. There was a possibility they could just enjoy themselves.

"Look, we can go water skiing in Montauk and okay, there's a tennis court…Chandler did you bring your racket?" Joey asked as he glanced through a book of things to do in Montauk. All six of them were packed in Phoebe's cab. Ross was driving, Rachel in the passenger's seat and the other four were squeezed in back.

"I brought it but you know I'll kick your ass," Chandler said.

"I know, I know," Joey said.

While he could beat Chandler in many different activities, the two he had yet to beat him in were tennis and also hockey and while Chandler was good at hockey, tennis seemed to be a gift and he was desperate to try and beat his roommate. It was a life goal. One of many.

"Oh, wanna play," Monica said.

"Oh, oh, G-d no," Chandler said which caused laughter from the others.

"What?" Monica asked.

"No. You have never once beaten me in tennis and you don't handle that well," Chandler said.

"You let Ross play with you," Monica said.

"I don't like it," Chandler said.

"I got so close to beating you last time," Ross groaned as he got on the freeway, Joey could almost feel the beach even though they were still three hours away.

"Almost. I'm unbeatable," Chandler said.

"Okay, how about this...five against one-" Rachel said.

"I can take you all on," Chandler said.

"And if we lose…." Rachel began.

"You give us a detailed lecture on what you do for a living," Joey said.

"How do you still not know?" Chandler asked.

"I still don't know," Phoebe said.

"Okay, Phoebe you worked in my office. So did you, Joe. How do you not know?" Chandler asked.

"I just answered your phone and made fun of you behind your back," Phoebe said.

"And you did my work for me," Joey said.

"Fine, bring your calculators and pencils….I'll have you begging for Ross' dino lectures," Chandler said.

"Hey, leave the dinosaurs out of it," Ross said.

"Wait and if he loses….." Monica said, "he doesn't drink for a whole year."

A silence fell over the car as everyone but Ross turned to look at Chandler. Chandler kept staring at Monica who was simply grinning back at him.

"Are you trying to use this as way to get me to give up drinking?" Chandler asked.

"How 'bout a month. You give up booze for a month," Ross said.

"Fine, a month. I can do a month which is fine because I don't have a drinking problem. Can we stop? I haven't taken any pills in months and thanks to Rachel, I've had fifteen bacon cheeseburgers in the last two months while she orders salad." Chandler said.

"You're right, you do not have a problem. Right, Mon," Ross said.

"Right," Monica said through gritted teeth.

"And also, I can't eat bacon cheeseburgers. They're really bad for you," Rachel said.

"I know and I will give up booze for a month if I lose even though I won't," Chandler said.

"I wanna do other stuff too. We can go water skiing and jet skiing, can we rent a boat? Rach, you know how to sail a boat," Joey asked.

"We can….but who do you think will be paying for all of this fun?" Chandler asked.

"Hi," Joey said, grinning.

"We'll help," Rachel said.

"We'll all pay," Ross said, "and cover Joey."

"If we rent a boat, I'll pay for the boat rental," Rachel said.

"Well, I'm not gonna do any of this. I have work to do. This woman knows my mom," Phoebe said "and I kinda wish Bonnie could come."

The reason for the trip was because apparently a woman lived there that knew Phoebe's mom and Phoebe was desperate to talk to her. Bonnie was Ross' newest girlfriend whom Joey adored. He thought Bonnie and Ross were completely wrong for each other but he still loved Bonnie. Bonnie seemed very much like the female version of himself.

"You don't need Bonnie, you have us. We'll be there for you, Pheebs," Rachel said.

Joey, Monica, Phoebe and Chandler exchanged knowing looks in the backseat. Rachel hated Bonnie for the same reason she hated Julie. She hated anyone who went out with Ross.

"Jealous, Rach," Chandler muttered so only the four of them could hear.

"Anyway, I'm not gonna do all this when I have to talk to this woman," Phoebe said.

"Do you want us coming with you?" Joey asked.

"No, I have to do it myself," Phoebe said.

"Okay, oh, they do have dirt biking," Joey said, noticing a description in the brochure.

"Why are you wanting us to do activities, Joey? What's wrong with just sitting?" Rachel asked.

"When we went to Vermont, I got screwed. Between relationship crap with you two and drug boy over here-"

"I prefer Captain Drug Boy," Chandler interrupted.

"I wanna have some fun this time. I wanna go hiking or biking or…" Joey said.

"We can can go jet skiing. Pheebs, remember when we spent July 4th together and we went on jet skis," Chandler said.

"Yeah," Phoebe said, seemingly not paying any attention.

Joey simply wanted to play. No relationship drama, no fights, no tears. He just wanted to play and play hard and with the exception of the rain on the first night, he did. First up, was tennis. They had found a court and Chandler stood on one side while the other five lined up to beat him or at least try. Chandler was beaming as one by one, they each tried and Monica was getting more and more furious.

"I'm gonna beat him with my racket," Monica muttered as she walked back and took a seat next to Joey who just laughed at her. "If he likes me as much as he says he does, he should just let me win."

"He doesn't like you that much. By the way, Ross was right. You can't tell him that he can't drink for a year."

"You're not the boss of me, Tribbiani," Monica said.

"Yes, I am," Joey said.

"He does look cute," Monica said, giggling a little as Chandler beat Ross and did a happy dance. Joey looked over at her as she was gazing at Chandler. "I love it when he's happy. It makes me happy."

"So he's unbeatable and we will be learning about whatever the hell he does for a living. Hope you guys are happy?" Ross said.

He wasn't thrilled to hear about Chandler's job but he was thrilled that they were actually having fun. Chandler did indeed try to explain his job but no one would listen. After tennis, they rented a boat, they went on water skis, it felt good. Even Phoebe joined them, still nervous about meeting the woman who knew her mom. The trip was perfect. It was definitely better than the Vermont trip. It was during this trip that he also noticed Chandler was flirting more and more with Monica. He was clearly trying hard and Monica just seemed to brush it off. It was so strange to him, why couldn't they just go out, it made sense to him. Monica had even admitted to him that she liked him so why couldn't she just let him know? He loved them both and and seeing them together would be pretty cool.

"So if I asked you out…." Chandler began.

Monica and Chandler lay side by side and Joey was digging a hole in the sand. It was a few days into their trip and Chandler and Monica had made him a bet to see how far he could dig. He took the challenge while over hearing Chandler still pressing Monica. He had been phrasing questions like that all week, "if I was boyfriend…." or "if I asked you out…" Joey found the whole thing a little funny.

"What?" Monica asked.

"What if I wore a mask?"

"Why would you wear a mask?"

"'Cause you keep saying no to me so what if I disguise my identity….I could get a mustache. I could pretend I'm Richard. Hello, I am Richard. I am really tall and speak well for my age and I enunciate stuff and have a mustache. Good, huh?" Chandler asked. Joey let out a laugh, listening to this. Chandler was just not smooth but neither was she.

"Chandler," Monica said.

"Hello...I am...I am...who?" Chandler asked.

"It would be creepy if you showed up at my door in disguise to take me on a date. I would call the cops and then they would arrest you and frankly, I don't think you'd survive prison," Monica said.

Joey couldn't help but think Monica had a valid point. Chandler would never survive prison.

"I would survive longer than you," Chandler said.

"Naw-awww," Monica said.

"Uh-huh, Chandler said."

"No," Monica said.

"Okay, what if I….what if I became the Ultimate Fighting Champion?" Chandler asked.

"You'd die."

Monica's last boyfriend was a weird guy named Pete who was really rich and wanted to be a fighting champion. It was very strange.

"That's not nice."

"It's not meant to be nice."

"I don't know what your problem was with Pete? He seemed like such a lovely young man," Chandler said.

"He was a nut ball."

"Well, of all the men you've dated….he was my second favorite. I really liked that Coma Guy."

"We didn't date. It was just the coma."

"I know."

Joey was tempted to tell them if they wanted to hook up, they could use his hole. The flirting was getting absurdly ridiculous.

"What if I spoke Spanish?" Chandler asked.

"Huh?"

"Yo go out with me."

"That's….wow."

"Hey, Joe," Chandler yelled.

"Yeah?" Joey asked, looking up at them.

"How do I say, 'How you doin' in Italian?"

"Come si fa," Joey said, although he wasn't quite sure.

"How do you say, 'not a chance in hell' in Italian?" Monica asked.

"For shame," Chandler said.

"Chan Man, if Mon continues upsetting you can always throw her in my hole," Joey yelled.

"Don't you dare," Monica said.

"It might be a tight fit, but you're tiny I'm sure we could fit you up there," Chandler grinned. Monica smacked him as he began laughing.

"You are horrible human being," Monica said as Chandler continued laughing.

"Hey, Bing. Check out my hole," Joey yelled. He wanted to talk to Chandler privately, call him out on the flirting.

"Get a room," Monica said.

Chandler got up and walked over towards Joey. He jumped into the hole and looked around. Joey was never that great with math, but if he were to guess, he could guess it was about five feet deep.

"Nice job," Chandler said.

"Yeah, so what the hell dude," Joey said, looking back at Monica who was relaxing, not paying attention.

"What?"

"'Oh, will you go out with me?' 'Oh, Mon..ohhhh…' pathetic, dude," Joey said.

"We're just playing."

"Ask her out."

"I did, she's not interested."

"Yeah, she is."

"She's not, you heard her."

"You're an idiot," Joey mumbled.

Chandler just brushed it off. Joey felt very much like the third wheel and soon the trip ended with a sting. Joey was digging another hole when Monica got stung by a jellyfish and they landed on a particular idea. It was something Joey had seen once. He had heard that in order to relieve the pain, you had to pee on the sting. Joey had tried but he got a little nervous so Chandler stepped up. Joey turned away to give him some privacy, but he did catch a glimpse of Monica staring directly at Chandler's crotch. She turned red as a smile appeared on her face. She looked away and Joey caught her eye. He just shook his head.

Soon after the beach trip, he and Chandler sat at Central Perk with Chandler still complaining about peeing on Monica. Joey wanted to punch him in the head as he complained.

"You know, she looked at it," Joey said, cutting him off.

"What?"

"When you peed on her, she looked at it and smiled. She liked Mini Chan."

"Mini Chan. Why am I Mini Chan and you're the General?" Chandler asked.

"Do we have to explain that again?"

"She didn't look at it. She...she doesn't like me in that way and...although, I'm gonna take her out to dinner."

"Why?"

"Well, 'cause I peed on her and...when we were on the roof, after Ross and Rachel broke up...the first time-"

Ross and Rachel had tried again during the beach trip. Ross had broken up with Bonnie to be with Rachel but their reunion was short lived and once again they were broken up.

"Yeah."

"I said some things to Monica that were kinda mean. I should make it up to her."

"What did you say?"

"I don't wanna say."

"Hey, boys," Phoebe said as she walked in and plopped down in the big chair.

"Where have you been?" Chandler asked.

"With my other friends. I had to check in with Bonnie. I owe Bonnie a guy," Phoebe said.

"I'll date her. I love her. I want her," Joey said. Bonnie was amazing, wonderfully amazing. Beautiful. Sure, thanks to Rachel, she was bald again but he could work with that.

"Calm down there, Sparky. Although, Ross is single again," Chandler said.

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"They broke up again last night," Chandler said.

"Seriously?" Phoebe asked. "G-d, they are so dramatic. Okay, can I ask you two something and we can't tell the others?"

Joey and Chandler exchanged looks and shrugged. They looked back at Phoebe and nodded.

"I know I thought Ross and Rachel were soulmates...lobsters...but are they? I mean, their fights are so brutal and you know one of my friends was saying their relationship wasn't healthy. Is it?"

"I don't know. Maybe they just need to grow into having a healthy relationship. They belong together. They're Ross and Rachel," Joey said.

"I guess. How are things with Monica?" Phoebe asked..

"She informed me that I am definitely not boyfriend material or at least not her boyfriend material," Chandler said.

"Ouch. Because you peed on her?" Phoebe asked.

"No. Well, before I peed on her, she basically said she wouldn't date me if I were the last guy on Earth and now...because I peed on her, she definitely won't," Chandler said.

"Oh, G-d...I'm sorry," Phoebe said.

"Yep. I am definitely going to die alone," Chandler said.

Joey rolled his eyes. None of that was true. Ross and Rachel. Chandler and Monica. They were both so ridiculous.

"I'm gonna punch you in the head. Stop being so negative," Phoebe said.

"So how are you doing, Pheebs?" Joey asked not wanting to deal with the dramas of the two couples. He could check in with his partner instead.

"I don't know. I have to talk to Phoebe Senior. Why wasn't I told any of this? Ten years, you guys. Ten years of living on the streets and curled up in boxes and...you know, I never did anything typical. Although, Chandler, now you see why I'm so grateful you paid for that movie back then?"

"I am...and I'm glad I could help you when I could," Chandler said.

"Me too. So I was a worthwhile investment," Phoebe grinned before covering her mouth with her hand.

"What?" Joey asked. He had remembered Phoebe mentioning this to him when Chandler had gone on the roof to talk to Monica after Ross and Rachel's first break up but so much had happened, it was such a long night that he wasn't sure he had remembered. He looked over at Phoebe who quickly glanced at him. He knew no one was supposed to mention it to Chandler so maybe he'd play dumb.

"Sorry," Phoebe said.

"Have you kept this a secret from anyone?" Chandler asked.

"Yes...but well, Joey's like your brother. I figured you would have told him," Phoebe tried.

"What's going on?" Joey asked although it seemed like Phoebe was playing dumb too. Phoebe had told him. He was now confused.

"I'm a trust fund kid. I ran into Phoebe on a subway years ago and she told me her story and I used my trust to pay for her education."

"Really?" Joey asked, figuring now he was supposed to play dumb. He wondered if Phoebe remembered telling him.

"Yes...but I'm keeping it secret because I don't want the world knowing," Chandler said.

"I do. It was an amazing thing you did. What you did...just wonderful," Phoebe said.

"Hey, is that how you're paying for all my acting stuff. Like the head shots, acting classes, dialect coaches?" Joey asked. He wondered that lately. He wondered about the acting classes, headshots. Chandler truly did pay for his entire life and he did wonder how. He knew how much Chandler made but he did seem to spend a lot.

"Huh?" Phoebe asked.

"Well, okay, I can't really afford rent...ever-" Joey said.

"That's not true, this month...you contributed ten bucks," Chandler said, patting Joey on the chest.

"Yeah, but...you pay rent, utilities, groceries...and my career. How are you doing that?" Joey asked. They talked about it a lot but he felt he needed to know details. What was Chandler paying out of pocket and what was he using his trust for?

"I make good money and I do a fantastic job at saving, something you two need to learn how to do," Chandler said.

"Wait a minute...are you using your trust to pay for Joey's career?" Phoebe asked.

"Well...alright...yes. I can't use it for rent, utilities and groceries...so Joe, anytime you want to help out with that and contribute more than ten bucks... that would awesome. I won't argue that. But basically it's there to invest in people or things that will help someone's life be better...like an education or if I believe in someone's career...or if I want to ever get a house, you know to start a family, which will never happen. But I can use it for that and just like Phoebe...I also believe that Joey, you will be successful one day so...there you go. But please, both of you...do not talk about it."

Joey and Phoebe both exchanged looks and stared back at Chandler who was looking uncomfortable.

"Dude, you're awesome. This is why you're not my best friend, you're family," Joey said.

"Thanks, man," Chandler smiled.

"And Monica will one day see how amazing you are and you will no longer be the guy who peed on her," Phoebe said.

"You know, maybe I should take my trust fund money and use it to kill all the jelly fish."

"No, they have benefits...scientists have found they are helpful in curing diseases," Phoebe said.

"I want them all dead," Chandler said, matter-of-factly which made both Phoebe and Joey laughed as Chandler took a sip from his coffee. "Hey...I have an idea."

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"Let's go back," Chandler said.

"To the movie theater?" Phoebe asked.

"No...to where you got that purple guitar? To where I got my plane that I flew into Kip's head," Chandler said, grinning at Phoebe. Joey had no clue what they were discussing.

"Oh wow...yes, let's go. Joey would love that place," Phoebe said.

"Where?" Joey asked.

"FAO Schwartz?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, yeah...I had sex with a sexy elf behind the Christmas display one year," Joey said. It was several years ago, it was a random hookup. He didn't remember her name.

"Of course," Chandler said.

"Let's go,"Phoebe stood up as did the other two as they walked out, got a cab and headed to FAO Schwartz. Once there, they went off in search of toys. Phoebe especially seemed in awe. It constantly amazed him how thrilled she was when it came to things that both he and Chandler took for granted.

"What are those?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh, Nerf Guns. We should get three of them and play," Chandler said, reaching for some of the bigger boxes.

"Guns?" Phoebe asked.

"No, no, these are fun. We can shoot each other with water or soft Nerf dart things. It's good….you never had this stuff, did you?" Joey asked.

"No," Phoebe said.

"That's why we got to teach her. I'll pay for them," Chandler said, grabbing three boxes and putting them in a cart. He began walking off as Joey grabbed Phoebe's arm.

"You know, you should have said something," Joey said.

"When?"

"When I saw you that New Year's Eve," Joey said, "I could have helped you."

"You're sweet, Joe. I'm okay. Hey, I have a mom," Phoebe said. "And I have you. You're my other half, but not in that way."

"We could make it that way," Joey said.

"Hmm, in good time my love….oh, Chandler, Joey….look, talking teddy bears," Phoebe said, pointing towards a wall. They ended up with just getting the Nerf guns and heading over to Central Perk to play, chasing after each other and shooting at each other with the Nerf guns.


	28. Chapter 28

**September 1997-November 1997**

When fall came around, he had reluctantly agree to yet another change. In a moment of missing his old life, he had built an entertainment center for himself and Chandler. The center took up half the room and Chandler wanted it gone so they tried to sell it. He hadn't wanted to sell it, he was proud of it even though it was not his best work and maybe it was through that art of the sell that Joey found himself in a situation he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to tell anyone about although they would know and he would have to tell them. He had been arrested four times. He was street smart, he knew how to play the game and yet he got inside the cabinet, got locked inside while thieves came in and robbed them. He sat, cooped up in the tiny space in the cabinet as he heard the thieves outside. He wanted to cry, how could he be that dumb? He had let Chandler down, he knew he had. This guy was paying for him to live, using his own money and his trust fund money to help him and he was being an idiot. He was smarter than this. He had connections. Maybe he'd have to call Tony. They could do a hit but he couldn't tell Tony where he was, that he was locked in a cabinet while the robbing was taking place. Tony would be so disappointed. Chandler would be so disappointed and when Chandler did rescue him, he was just as pissed as Joey thought he might be.

"What the fuck? Dude, you're in the mob. How did you fall for this?" Chandler asked.

"I'm not in the mob-"

"Obviously, they wouldn't let me get robbed."

"I bet I could make a call. Get Christopher or Tony-"

"I don't want a hit, I want my stuff. Joey, I pay for everything. I pay for you to live, the least you could do is keep my stuff in the apartment."

"I paid for the chairs."

"Great, now we're even," Chandler said, the sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay...I-I will take care of it."

"How? You really gonna tell Uncle Tony or Christopher that you voluntarily locked yourself in an entertainment unit so people could take our stuff?" Chandler said.

"I am sorry. We will get new stuff."

"I'm not paying for it. I pay for too much. Fuck, Joe. Use your head," Chandler said, storming into his room and slamming the door. Joey didn't blame him. He'd have to make this right. He had the guy's info. Some of it. The next day, he took a cab to Tony's office. It was a new office. They always kept moving. He knew he'd have to do something. He needed to make things right. Chandler was his brother, he screwed over his brother.

"You want a hit?" Tony asked.

"Yeah," Joey said as his heart beat out of his chest. It was difficult for him to get the words out but that was exactly what he wanted. He never actually ordered one, he had been involved in them, "We were robbed and this is the guy and he stole all our stuff. I just want-I want something. I was trying to sell our entertainment center and…."

"How did he steal all your stuff?" Tony asked.

"I locked myself in there."

"On purpose?"

"Yeah."

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"You're an idiot."

"I know. Look, Chandler….this guy has paid for everything and I fucked up-"

"Hey, Christopher. Get in here," Tony yelled.

"Really?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, boss," Christopher said as he walked in with Eddie. Joey gave Eddie a look, perhaps Eddie was now the new Shane. He didn't really want to ask questions and he didn't really want Eddie to know why all Chandler's stuff was gone.

"Joe here locked himself in an entertainment center while he got robbed," Tony said. "On purpose."

"Seriously? Oh, man….the village is making you dumb," Christopher said.

"Yeah, and Chandler thought I was the bad roommate?" Eddie asked.

"I'm not even touching that one, Eddie. What the fuck are you doing here, anyway?" Joey asked.

"Working," Eddie said. "You should try it."

"Okay, here is the guys info, here's what I have. I'm ordering a hit," Joey said. "I don't know if he has our stuff but I'm ordering the hit."

"You sure? 'Cause unlike last time, I won't stop it," Tony said.

"Yeah, but I just don't want it traced back to me….or Chandler," Joey said.

"It won't be. I'm good at my job," Tony grinned.

Joey let out a snort and soon left after being made fun of a bit more. He didn't need to know what was going to happen or what Tony would do. Once home, he was able to get patio furniture from the basement and bring it back up to their apartment. Chandler was sitting in a canoe they had gotten after losing all their stuff.

"I got stuff. At least, we got patio furniture," Joey said as they set everything up in the middle of the living room. Chandler was still pissed, glaring at him. He so badly wanted to make it right. He wanted his friend to forgive him, he hated this. He hated Chandler being this pissed at him.

"Great," Chandler mumbled as he joined him at the table.

"I'm sorry, really."

"Doesn't do any good. My stuff is still gone. At least you got rid of the entertainment unit," Chandler said, staring off into space.

"I ordered a hit," Joey said, matter of factly as he stared straight ahead as well.

"Excuse me?" Chandler asked, turning towards him.

"I went to Tony's. Don't tell the others but I had the name of the guy and some of the info and…"

"Call the cops. Why didn't you call the cops, that's what you could have done."

"No. I ordered a hit. He screwed over my brother. You, you're like my brother."

"Shit," Chandler said, "are you kidding Joe?"

"No."

"Is it gonna come back to us?"

"No. Look, I-you've done….so much and you mean a lot and-"

"I wish you hadn't done that," Chandler said.

"Why not?"

"'Cause...did you tell them you locked yourself in the unit voluntarily?"

"Yes."

"You told a bunch of mob guys that you voluntarily locked yourself in an entertainment unit? That must have gone over well," Chandler joked.

"Not quite. They made fun of me. They said I've become soft living here….and stupid."

"I don't understand how you did that? I always thought of you as a guy who could was pretty street smart. I could see this happening to Ross...not you," Chandler said.

"I don't know. I don't know what I was thinking. "

"I mean, you're connected to the mob. You brought people to Tony knowing they were going to die yet you voluntarily locked yourself in an entertainment unit."

"Maybe I've gotten stupid. I did what I needed to do."

"You didn't need to do that. I don't want anyone to die, Joe," Chandler said. "I just want my stuff back and you promise this isn't getting back to you or me."

"I promise. You're not even part of it. I just….I owe you so much man and I feel so bad about how much I fucked up. I want to pay you back. I wanna….I don't know."

The look on Chandler's face seemed to change from anger to concern. It was too late to call of the hit but all he wanted was Chandler's forgiveness.

"Can we call it off?" Chandler asked.

"Too late. Just never mention it again or to anyone," Joey said.

"I won't. Are you alright?"

"Ego is bruised. Maybe I have gotten soft. Have I lost my street smarts? If I lose my street smarts then I really am stupid."

"It's alright, stop beating yourself up over it. It's just stuff," Chandler said.

"I wanted the hit because it's your stuff and you spend so much and I owe you...you're family...you are my sugar daddy, apparently."

"I'll sleep in your room, I'm fine cuddling. I mean, we've already kissed once. Magical," Chandler joked which made Joey laugh. It was a sign he was ready to move on, to make jokes which was fine by Joey.

"Dude, twice. New Years. Remember that," Joey said.

A New Years party a few years before and ended with Joey kissing Chandler who had kept begging someone to kiss him.

"Oh, yeah," Chandler said as he got up to get some beers from the fridge and returned to the table.

"So, there you go," Joey said, taking the beer and opening it.

"We've kissed twice and I pay for you to live and you take a hit out on a dude who takes all my stuff. You're the best boyfriend ever," Chandler said, drinking his beer.

"No, you are," Joey laughed, "and hey, who do you like better? Me or Monica?"

"Depends on the day."

"Have you hooked up with her already?"

"No. Well, we've made out….but no, no sex."

"How was your dinner with her? Did you hook up with her?" Joey asked.

"No, but we did kiss in Central Park."

"Ridiculous," Joey said as they continued to watch television together. Nothing more was said of the hit or the robbery. He didn't hear anything from Tony or Christopher although he was pretty certain he wouldn't. That was how it worked. He did see a news report a few weeks later about a guy found dead behind an alley and the guy looked like the robber, he didn't say anything. He just went on with his life, Chandler never asked either. It was an unspoken agreement that they just would not speak of the robbery and right before Thanksgiving, Chandler completely surprised Joey by buying them new furniture. New chairs, new entertainment center, new everything, every part of it was shiny and new but it came with an admission. Chandler had kissed his girlfriend, Kathy. His relationship with Kathy began in acting class. He liked her, they had only been dating for two weeks, their first date being at a Halloween party thrown by their acting class. He wasn't even serious about Kathy yet, just having fun with her. Chandler was acting weird around her but Joey didn't pay any attention until that admission. Maybe Joey shouldn't have been out on that date with Cassie, that girl he met at the coffee house, maybe he should have stuck with Kathy but they weren't exclusive. He thought Kathy knew but there was Chandler. Chandler standing in the apartment filled with all the stuff he had gotten and confessing that he had kissed Kathy.

"Were you drunk or sober?" Joey asked.

"Sober," Chandler said.

Joey needed to leave, he wanted to punch Chandler. He had done so much for his friend. He had ordered that hit to make it up to Chandler and if Chandler had any clue how much Joey had saved him and yet there he was soberly kissing his girlfriend. Joey stormed out of the apartment and went to Ross'. He would stay with Ross. He told Ross everything as he kept pacing around the apartment. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to hit Chandler.

"That fucking piece of-if he even knew how fuck-I would have stepped out of the way, if he had said, 'hey, man I wanna sleep with Kathy,' I would have been like, 'yeah, sure' but fuck….and he was sober. He was clean. After every fucking thing….fuck-"

He would have stepped out of the way. He always knew how hard it was for Chandler to find a date and Kathy had been his girlfriend for two weeks, it wasn't serious enough for him to make it exclusive so he probably would have just let him have her. He still felt bad about the whole robbery thing, he would have done anything for Chandler, even letting him go out with a girl he was seeing.

"Joe, can you sit. You're making me nervous."

"I'm not gonna punch you in the face, Ross. I'm here so I don't punch Chandler in the face. How-why-the fuck is he so self destructive? We helped-he…."

"I don't know," Ross said.

"He hooked up with my girlfriend."

"I know. Look, I'll talk to him, okay."

"He has...first he hooks up with my sister but he was sick and I brushed it off and I...I talked to my sister but this….this is too far."

"I know."

Joey's ranting was interrupted by knock at the door. Ross got up to answer it and when Chandler walked in, Joey was even more furious. He wanted Chandler to get the fuck out of Ross' apartment.

"Hey, is Joey-" Chandler said.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Joey asked, "you want me to punch you in the face, because I will punch you in the face."

"Joey, go to my room," Ross said. Joey let out a snort as he glared at Chandler before he walked into Ross' room and slamming the door shut behind him. He sat on Ross' bed and stared at the phone. It would be so simple. He could call Christopher or Tony, hell he could probably reach out to Eddie. He could tell them the hit on Chandler was back on. It would just take a moment. He reached over to the phone but jumped just as Chandler opened the door

"Joey," Chandler said.

"Get the hell out of here," Joey said, pushing past him and walking out of the room.

"I am sorry. Okay, I am...I don't know why I'm this way, I don't I-I wish I-I will-"

"I should have just let you swallow all those pills. I mean, if I had known you didn't give a shit about our friendship then I wouldn't have bothered throwing out those pills. Should've just let you overdose," Joey muttered. He knew that was taking it too far but he didn't care.

"Joe," Ross said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"That's a little too far," Chandler said.

"So is kissing my girlfriend," Joey said and Chandler had no clue, neither did Ross. He had the ultimate leverage. If Chandler only knew how close he was to having a bullet in his head.

"You were cheating on her," Chandler blurted out, "the night Kathy and I kissed, you were supposed to be out with her."

"So this is my fault?" Joey asked.

"You were on a date with someone else so how serious was this relationship?" Chandler asked.

"That's not the point, you had no right to kiss her," Joey said and it wasn't. He honestly wasn't angry about Kathy, he was angry that he had been screwed over by Chandler once again.

"I am sorry for kissing Kathy, okay, I like her. I like her a lot. I like her so much that I bought her that damn Velveteen Rabbit book because it's her favorite. I really like her but I-"

"Get out," Joey said, interrupting Chandler.

"This is my home," Ross said.

Joey forgot Ross was even there. He kept staring at Chandler. It was taking all his strength to not beat him up.

"No, I will not get out. Yes, I fucked up. You have fucked up too. Who's the guy who moved into an apartment he could not afford? You could not afford our apartment but you guilted me into paying for it. You're still guilting me into paying for it. I pay for you to live, Joey. I pay for acting classes, meals, head shots, rent, utilities, you have not paid for a goddamn thing. Yeah, I have issues but you're fucking taking advantage," Chandler yelled.

How fucking dare he? He had told Chandler his story. Chandler knew why he was paying for everything. He began to charge towards Chandler only to be held back by Ross.

"Chandler, get out," Ross yelled, as Joey kept trying to charge at Chandler. Chandler let out a grunt and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door shut.

"I'm gonna kill him," Joey said.

"You're not gonna kill him. The overdosing comment was a little much and is he really still paying for everything?"

"Well, when I was on Days of Our Lives, I helped."

"You didn't live with him for that long when you were on Days. You moved out and then moved back in….'cause you knew he'd pay."

"This is not my fault. He kissed my girlfriend," Joey said and he wasn't going to discuss this with Ross. Ross could believe what he wanted. Chandler knew the truth.

"Yeah, he did screw up but man, you haven't contributed at all?"

"I contribute when I can."

"How did you get him to take you in and pay for everything?" Ross asked.

"I told him I was out of cash and I told him when it was time to pay the rent," Joey said, giving the short version. It was none of Ross' business.

"You've both screwed up."

"He screwed up more."

There was part of him that wanted to tell Ross everything but another part of him wanted to get out. He had had enough. Enough of the drama. He was starting to miss his old life. He never had to worry about friends hooking up with girls he was seeing. He didn't really give a crap about Christopher or Shane or anyone. There was no emotional attachment and the old Joey never would have gotten locked in an entertainment unit. The next day, he headed to Kristi's apartment. She was taking care of Ashley who was almost two as Joey was telling her everything.

"You only dated her for two weeks," Kristi said.

"Not the point, okay, I saved this man's life. He was fucking sober-"

"Not in front of Ashley," Kristi said.

"Her mother is a stripper and a porn star. Cussing is probably the least of your worries."

"Hey, fuck you," Kristi said.

"Mommy, mo," Ashley said, reaching for a banana that Kristi was cutting up for her.

"Can I stay with you?" Joey asked.

"What?"

"I can't go back to that apartment. I can deal with this anymore. This stupid drama from one thing to the next. Ross and Rachel who are on a break or not on a break and freaking out about everything and now Chandler...he was sober. I went through everything and helped him through withdrawals….I miss my old life."

"When you didn't care that much?"

"I don't care and-"

"Yeah, you care. You're not gonna leave them. Joe, you've changed since you've met them."

"The old Joey would never have locked himself in a cabinet."

"Probably not but the old Joey would have shot the robber in the head or beat up Chandler," Kristi said.

"No, I wouldn't have. I did hire a hit on the robber."

"Why did you do that?"

"'Cause Chandler has given me so much and it's my fault that we got robbed and...although now I don't feel bad. I'm done. With that whole group, I'm done."

"You're not. Look, you can stay here for a few days but you and I both know you're going back to them. Phoebe needs you."

"If it wasn't for me, Chandler would be dead."

"I know. You haven't told any of them that, have you?" Kristi said.

"No."

He wanted out. He didn't care. He would walk away from all five of them. Monica had invited him for Thanksgiving and he would go. It would be his last Thanksgiving with the group. When he returned to the apartment, he began packing for Kristi's. He would stay with her until he figured out his next move. When he walked out, Chandler was there, wanting to talk to him.

"I'm going to Kristi's, I'm not talking about it," Joey said.

"Come on...I messed up," Chandler said.

"You know what the worst part is? You were sober, man," Joey said, "I fucking saved you. I probably flushed thousands of dollars worth of pills down the toilet. I stayed up with you every night when we got back from the cabin...and when that guy was robbing us, I kept thinking about how I let you down. Maybe I shouldn't have worried about it that much."

He grabbed his duffel bag and walked to the door. Chandler walked over to him and grabbed the bag out of his hand. Joey grabbed it back.

"Can we please talk?"

"What is wrong with you?" Joey asked."I get you've been through crap in your life and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my friend, Shane, beat you up when you were fourteen. But you're not fourteen...and Shane is dead. So really, I wouldn't worry about him too much anymore."

"I really am sorry, Joey. I...it was..."

"I'm outta here," Joey said.

"Tell me what to do to make it up to you, I will do anything."

That's where the box idea started. They still had the box from one of the things Chandler had bought for the apartment and Joey told him that he needed to sit in it, he needed to think about what he had done to prove their friendship but in Joey's mind there was no friendship. It was just his way of not wanting to see Chandler during Thanksgiving. It was going to be the final one. He would say goodbye to the others, tell him he was going to live with Kristi and he'd talk to them another time. Towards the end of the meal, Kathy showed up and ended up breaking up with Chandler while he was still in the box. Joey's heart broke as he listened. Kristi was absolutely right, he couldn't leave them. He loved them all too much, he had changed and couldn't go back. He wanted Chandler to be happy, that's what they all wanted. As soon as Kathy left, Joey opened the box and told Chandler to get out of it. He wanted him to go find Kathy.

"You sure?" Chandler asked.

"Yes, we're fine," Joey said as the two men hugged.

"I'm so sorry...I...I just...I don't know...I-you're my best friend man and I owe you so much. I am so, so sorry-"

"I know."

"All of you...I'm sorry...I don't know why I act this way and I don't why I'm self destructive and I know I don't deserve friends like you and I'm...I'm sorry," Chandler said, looking at the others..

"We know, go get her, Chandler," Rachel said.

"Yeah, go get her," Monica said.

"Really?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah," Monica said.

Chandler nodded as he raced out of the apartment and the other five raced out onto the balcony to watch. Ross patted Joey on the back and whispered.

"That was a nice thing you did," Ross said.

"He deserves to be happy and I can't stay mad at him," Joey said which caused Joey to let out an annoyed sigh, "I hate you all."

"Why?" Ross asked.

"You guys are making me care. I was actually gonna leave tonight, just walk away from all of you but fuck..." Joey said as the group continued to watch Chandler and Kathy together.

"Yeah, you're in too deep dude. Sorry, man," Ross said, patting him on the back. Joey just let out a laugh as they kept watching. Ross was right, there was no turning back.

Chandler returned about twenty minutes later, with a grin on his face. He walked into the apartment smiling as the group looked at him. Ross and Joey immediately ran to his side, patting him on the back.

"Dude," Joey remarked.

"I got a girlfriend," Chandler said. "Although, Joe...we are good, right? 'Cause I won't pursue this if you and I aren't-"

"Are you happy?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Chandler said.

"Then it's all good," Joey said as the two boys hugged. His brother. It didn't matter what he did, Chandler would always be his brother.

"Are we done here, Mon...because I'm thinking the boys need to go watch Die Hard," Ross said.

"Die Hard," Joey and Chandler said together.

"We're done, oh, Chandler," Monica said as she walked towards her fridge and pulled out a tray of mac and cheese. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Thanks," he said taking the tray from her, "we're good too, right?"

"Yeah," Monica said, kissing him on the cheek as the three boys walked out of the apartment and into the Joey and Chandler's apartment.

"You boys are okay, right?" Ross asked.

"Yeah and I am sorry about the overdose comment. If you overdosed..no, I can't imagine….that doesn't exist," Joey said.

"It's okay and I won't overdose. I can't. Who would pay for your rent?" Chandler asked, clearly joking.

"What is wrong with you?" Ross asked.

"I will try to pitch in more. Okay?"

"Thank you," Chandler said.

The three boys went to continue watching Die Hard and of course bonding over their favorite movie. They repeated lines and yelled things and he did have to call Kristi to let her know he was staying put. She told him she had figured. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing he was changing? At least a little. Maybe it was okay to be softer although he did not want to become so soft that he'd do something like get himself trapped in a entertainment center...again.


	29. Chapter 29

**January 1998**

It was the night before his thirtieth birthday and he could not sleep. He was actually thirty. He was the oldest member of the group. Phoebe would be next but he was the first one. How was that possible? How had he lived thirty years already? He leaned over and grabbed his phone, knowing someone would be up to hear him complain and when Kristi picked up, he went right into it.

"I'm thirty. How the hell did this happen? I had a plan, I even prayed for it."

"What was your plan? By the way, happy birthday," Kristi said.

"Thank you and my plan was just to not get old and to let the others get old first so I could remain young," Joey said.

"I'm not sure that's a viable plan."

"I wanted to be twenty-one forever. Thirty, I'm thirty. Gross and I'm the oldest. Phoebe's thirtieth is next month. Ross and Chandler turn thirty next year and Rachel and Monica turn thirty the year after that. Ugh."

"I'm sorry. So, speaking of Chandler...how are you doing with him now?"

"Good, good….I just...I adore that guy. I want to punch him the face but I also wanna hug him and-" Joey stopped as he heard a rather loud moan through the wall that separated his room from Chandler's. He had been hearing the moans and they were getting louder and louder and he had a feeling Chandler was being loud on purpose. He couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Kristi asked.

"Chandler's getting some. I can hear it through the wall. Much better than with Janice. He's been practicing."

"Wow….that's not creepy."

"It's the wall….although, Kathy sounds like she's enjoying herself far more with him than she did with me."

"Makes sense, she likes him more than you."

"Hey."

"Although, you know, this thing with Kathy...were you really that serious about her?" Kristi asked. "It was two weeks."

"No, not really but….I just wished he had asked. After everything….it just felt disrespectful and you know how I feel about respect. Come on, I grew up around Tony. You know how important respect it."

"Understandable. Well, you didn't take a hit out on him."

"Well, thought about it. I'm glad he's happy," Joey began before hearing a loud intense moan through the wall followed by Chandler's signature, 'oh my G-d.' Joey let out a laugh as he stared at the wall, "whoa, nice work. Sounds like he's killing her in there. Oh, so proud of him right now, seriously, beaming with pride. You go get some, buddy."

"Why don't you two date?" Kristi joked.

"I've asked, he said no."

"Awww."

"And we've kissed twice, you know. I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't sting a little," Joey joked.

"You love him so much," Kristi laughed.

"I really do. I think he's actually cooler than Shane. What the fuck, Shane? This is the kid you beat up?" Joey asked.

"Remember at school and he was like walking around, puffing out his chest, talking about the guy he beat up at his old school and pretending he was all tough-"

"Yeah, it's like punching a marshmallow or a puppy, you were gonna fight me 'cause you were proud of beating Chandler Bing up," Joey said. "And you know, Shane apparently damaged him. Severely. Kid couldn't pee for a week."

"What a douche."

"Exactly. Shane really messed him up. You know, Chandler and his buddies were at one of my Halloween parties and Shane walked up to him and was apparently gonna beat him up again. Remember the party where I hooked up with your friend that dressed like Bo Derek?"

"Yes, really? Oh, G-d…I don't wanna speak ill of the dead but ass," Kristi said.

"I'm starting to think so."

"If Shane was still here, would you say something to him?" Kristi asked.

"No, 'cause I would no longer be his friend. He would be out of my life, completely."

"You'd choose Chandler?"

"In a second. Not even a question," Joey said before hearing another moan, "nice."

"That's sweet. It's sweet that you two are that close, so you're gonna stick with this group. You've decided to not leave."

"I think I'm in too deep. I love 'em too much. They're good people, you know and...yeah, they have a lot of drama but-"

"Hey, Christopher and Tony have drama too. Just their drama ends up with people dead. Pick and choose your drama. People who kill others or you know, people where there's a fight every now and then but no one dies."

"I've gotten close. Yeah, besides like I said I couldn't leave Chandler. I mean, Shane may be a douche but I made that promise to him right? That if I had another friend who was struggling, I wouldn't leave so…I can't leave. He may not be struggling now but who knows? He might be currently struggling to breathe properly but I don't need to worry about that."

"It's just nice to hear you say that. This group has changed you, Joe. Embrace it."

"Hey, you wanna come over tomorrow night. Monica's making sandwiches and pizza. I want a low key birthday. To mourn my twenties."

"I gotta work, Joe."

"You know what my birthday wish is?"

"To get laid every single day for the next year?"

"Yeah, but that's easy. How about a new job….for you? Come on, we're both gonna be thirty."

"I have a daughter and at least I have a job."

"Kristi, you can do better than this...come on."

"I like what I'm doing."

"You wanted to be an actress. You're the reason I'm even an actor. Can you at least try another audition? For me, for my birthday? Remember when you took me to your audition? Can you do that? Please?"

"Alright, for your birthday," Kristi said.

"Good," Joey said as he heard the front door open and slam shut, "now, I gotta go. Chan Man is apparently done and I wanna congratulate Big Chan and Mini Chan."

"Did you just tell me the name of his penis?"

"Yes, I did."

"You two are so weird and wait, why is he mini and you're general? That's not fair. Clearly, he's better than you. He got your ex-girlfriend more excited than you did."

"Lieutenant Chan," Joey said thinking it over.

"Better."

"I'll talk to you later," Joey said as he hung up, he quickly grabbed his robe and walked out the door towards Chandler's room where he saw his roommate lying there, grinning so broadly Joey could see it in the dark.

"Having a good time, Chan Chan man?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, baby," Chandler grinned.

"Goodnight, asshole," Joey said, giving him a smile.

"Oh, yes it is...yes it is," Chandler said,"Oh and hey, Joe."

"What?" Joey asked.

"Happy thirtieth...dude, you're old," Chandler teased.

"I hate you," Joey shot back as Chandler laughed. "And by the way, Kristi thinks it should be Lieutenant Chan, not Mini Chan."

"I like that. Wait, did a porn star and stripper just say my penis should be promoted?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah."

"I am just having the best time on your birthday," Chandler mused.

"Good night, Lieutenant Chan," Joey said, laughing.

"Night. Oh and hey, Joe….thank you," Chandler said.

"Don't worry about it. She sounds like she's having more fun with you."

As Joey turned to walk back to his room, Kathy returned. They stood awkwardly staring at each other.

"Where were you?" Joey asked.

"Oh, Monica's….I had to thank her...and….long story," Kathy said as she walked towards Chandler's room. "You know, Joey-"

"It's alright. We weren't that serious. Take care of that one, though. He's sensitive."

Kathy smiled at him and disappeared into Chandler's room, closing the door behind her. He looked over at the closed door. Kathy had visited Monica? He figured Monica must be up. He walked out of the apartment and knocked on the door, thinking it would probably be creepy of him to walk into their apartment after midnight. Monica opened the door and looked confused.

"Joey?" Monica asked.

"Who the hell is that!?" Rachel yelled from her bedroom, clearly annoyed.

"Wait," Joey said before yelling across the room, "hey, Rach, how you doin'?"

"I will kill you," Rachel yelled back.

"You were on a back," Joey yelled, beaming. He was laughing, knowing Rachel was not a morning person and was enjoying purposely pissing her off.

"Fuck you, Joey. I will cut you," Rachel yelled. Joey was cracking up as Monica playfully smacked him.

"You wanna die on your birthday?" Monica asked.

"It's just so much fun. She's just so not a morning person."

"No, so...why are you here? I haven't made your sandwiches yet."

"No, I just...Kathy was over here and I just wanted to check in with you," Joey said.

"I'm fine."

Joey looked at her, raised an eyebrow and she let out a sigh. He motioned for her to join him in the hall. They sat on the steps even though Monica seemed slightly irritated.

"Now, I'll ask you again. What's going on? Why was Kathy visiting you?"

"I gave Chandler sex tips."

"It's working."

"Yeah but….you know...you know how Rachel hated Julie and Bonnie and just...hates anyone Ross dates?"

"Yeah."

"I don't like Kathy. The relationship is doomed 'cause….she tried to tear you two apart."

"Naw, Chandler and I can't be torn apart. It's Jandler, but it has nothing to do with me. You know, on the beach, when he peed on you, I saw you look at it."

"I did."

"And you were both flirting."

"I know. G-d, I just-and I know if-if I walked into his room right now and said 'hey Chandler, when you're done blowing Kathy's mind come over and visit me', he totally would."

"I don't think he's blowing her mind."

"You know what I mean."

"Then why don't you say something. Look, I already know you've made out with him. He's told me. When he took you to dinner, he said he made out with you in Central Park-"

"You two tell each other too much," Monica said.

"Why don't you just give in? It would be easier, wouldn't it? Clearly, you both like each other," Joey said, staring at Monica who just kept staring ahead.

"I'm a control freak," Monica said, taking a deep breath before looking at him.

"What?" Joey asked, confused.

"I'm a control freak," Monica said.

"Well, yeah but-"

"No. I like to control things. I like fixing things, people. I fixed Phoebe, Rachel, you...doing a good job with you….hell, I've even tried fixing Ross but what's wrong with Chandler, I can't fix. I can't control. Does that make sense? He's an alcoholic and drug addict who doesn't realize he is one and I don't-it's a disease, right? So….I will never be able to fix or control that disease. It will always be stronger than I am. I sound insane."

"A little but I think I get it."

"And I know people say I won't be doing this alone. I know everyone says they'll help and I know but...and I know I'm stringing him along and it's so not fair to him and I hate Kathy and-and you know, I dated Kip. His roommate before you and Kip was in college with Ross and Chandler and he knew that Chandler and I liked each other and we should never have dated but we did. It was a mistake and I know Chandler and I flirted at the beach but-"

"You're not stringing him along."

"Joey, come on. You're always blunt with me. You more than anyone else in this group gives it to me straight. Am I being a bitch?"

"Alright, yeah, you are being a bit of a bitch. You are stringing him along and you're right, you could go in his room right now, tell him you want him and he'd dump Kathy right then and there but...I get it. Right now, he's fine and he's happy….believe me, he's really happy but there's always that worry and you don't know and I know you like to fix stuff and I know you're a control freak. We all know that. We discuss it often. Why do you think we never invite you to play games with us?"

"If I wasn't a control freak, this group would fall apart," Monica said.

"That's true too. Why do you also think we keep you around? You're right, though. It is terrifying, when I left for Los Angeles, Shane was completely clean. Had been for years, I wasn't worried or thinking he wouldn't be able to pick me up from the airport 'cause he'd be dead on gurney in front of our apartment-"

"I love how you word stuff sometimes," Monica mused, "by the way, I hate Shane and I know I shouldn't 'cause he's dead and I should be respectful and I never met him….but I hate him."

"I'm not too fond of him anymore, either, but the point is...yes, it's scary but you've already got the tools to fix him if something does happen. You've done it twice and when you're ready, you'll tell him. You know he's not going anywhere."

"I know…. he's not going anywhere although he has disappeared before and I managed to track him down. He vanished for seven months before Ross' wedding to Carol. It's just when he's…. when the drugs and alcohol have him….that's when it scares the shit out of me and that's when I can't figure out how to get him back."

"Yeah, I get that but I have a feeling that….and forget Rachel, Ross and Phoebe, just you and me, I have a feeling that if he falls again….I think we're stronger than his addiction."

"What?"

"The way he feels about the two of us? The man peed on you when you were in pain, he stuck himself in a box to prove how much I meant to him. He loves the two of us more than he loves drugs and alcohol."

"You believe that?"

"Yep. I think if he thought he could lose you or me or both of us, he'd stop. Of course, I mean, he does love me more than you," Joey said.

"That is so not true. He loves me more."

"No, he doesn't Mon."

"Okay, what he's doing in there with Kathy, he would rather do with me than you," Monica said.

"You don't know," Joey said.

Monica let out a laugh as she patted his leg and let out a sigh. Joey put his arm around her as she fell into him.

"Thanks, Joe. I think I'm gonna go to bed now…..oh, just letting you know, your birthday cake? It says Happy 29th."

"G-d bless you. Hey, can I crash on your couch?"

"Why?" Monica asked, looking up at him.

"Well, whatever you taught Chandler….he's doing….loudly."

"Loudly?"

"On purpose. He's heard me through the wall for years. He's getting revenge and having a good time."

Monica started laughing as she stood up and reached for Joey's hand. He grabbed it as she pulled him up.

"Get a blanket and you can crash on our couch."

"Thank you," Joey said as he got up and walked into his apartment where he grabbed his blanket and a pillow and returned to Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica had helped herself to a glass of water and was getting some for him as he set himself up on the couch. Once he had set up, he looked over at Rachel's room. It was just too hard to resist. How could he not play with her? He walked towards her bedroom ignoring Monica asking him what he was doing. He walked over to Rachel who was sound asleep. He began to gently put his finger in her ear as he quietly said her name. Suddenly, Rachel grabbed his finger hard and stared at him.

"I will cut you," Rachel said.

Joey began laughing as Rachel grabbed her pillow and began smacking him with it. He laughed as he got up and noticed Monica staring at him.

"I told you," Monica said.

"Good night, Rachel," Joey said, grinning as he followed Monica out of the room and fell onto the couch. Monica walked towards her room and shut the door behind her as he lay there soaking it in that he was now officially thirty.

The next day, he was a little shocked when Chandler and Ross suggested taking him out for the day to go dirt biking along the Brooklyn Park Bike Trails. These trails were very much like the trails he had done as a kid and he still loved doing it when he still lived in Queens but ever since he had called Bedford Street his home and began to prefer hanging out with Ross and Chandler over Christopher, he figured those days were over. Chandler loved tennis and hockey and Ross liked watching all the games, as would Chandler but actually playing anything, that was a little different. He didn't mind, figuring it was just a price to pay but when Chandler and Ross suggested taking him out dirt biking so that Monica could prepare for his birthday without him bugging her by eating the sandwiches beforehand, he went.

"You two really wanna do this?" Joey asked, sitting on his bike, staring down at one of the trails, "you guys don't seem like bike trailing kinda guys."

"You know, Ross…..I get the feeling that Joey here thinks that you and I spent our entire childhood watching movies and playing with dinosaurs and reading comic books," Chandler said.

"You've told me that's what you did," Joey said.

"I think he thinks we weren't as cool as he was," Ross said.

"You weren't," Joey said.

"I think the nerds need to show the cool guy how we can play," Chandler said.

"Uh-huh," Ross said.

Joey was going to say something else but instead motioned for them to go. They could try it, it would be interesting. First, Chandler went and Joey watched him carefully as he maneuvered the hills with ease and then Ross took his turn. Joey was mildly impressed, maybe he hadn't given his friends enough credit. Joey rode his bike towards them as they were both waiting for him.

"You doubted us," Chandler said.

"I did. G-d, I used to love doing these trails. I miss four wheeling too."

"We can play, you know. You think we're like all wutzy," Chandler said.

"He misses his old friends, he thinks they're macho," Ross said.

Joey laughed, knowing both of them were messing with him. He would mess back.

"His old friends used to put bullets in people's heads for fun," Chandler said.

"You know he doesn't know what we used to do in college," Ross said, motioning between himself and Chandler.

"True. I had a Corvette," Chandler said.

"That you crashed into a house," Joey said, "and you know, you are dramatic."

"I blame the girls," Ross said.

"I blame Monica and Rachel. Not really Pheebs," Chandler said.

"Yeah, Pheebs isn't that dramatic," Joey said, "although, of the three. Phoebe's the hottest. Monica and Rachel are hot, sure….but Phoebe."

"I'm still going to go for Rachel. Phoebe's hot but Rachel's….Rachel," Ross mused.

"Mon's my type. Lizzie looked like Monica and Janice kinda had Monica features. Kathy's….not so much like Monica," Chandler said.

"Rachel tried to kill me last night," Joey said, smiling slightly.

"Why? What?" Ross asked.

"Well, after Chan man over here was banging Kathy so loud our walls shook, I slept on Monica and Rachel's couch."

"I was loud on purpose," Chandler said.

"No, shit...so I mean, of course, I had to mess with Rachel so I stuck my finger in her ear….and she almost broke my finger off," Joey said.

"Was she asleep when you did this?" Ross asked.

"Yeah," Joey said.

"Be glad she didn't punch you in the face," Ross said.

"So okay, you've already hooked up with Rachel. Would you hook up with Pheebs?" Joey asked.

"I have. I made out with her the night Carol told me we were divorcing. That was what you guys walked into in the bar that night," Ross said.

"I knew it. Phoebe's wild, though. I've made out with her too….she's fun," Chandler said.

"Didn't you sleep with her when she first moved in?" Ross asked.

"No, we made out….we didn't have sex," Chandler said.

"Who's better? Rachel or Phoebe?" Joey asked.

"Both are different. I'm not answering. Rachel was a relationship, Phoebe was comforting me. What about you, Bing?" Ross asked.

"I can't answer really 'cause you're her brother, so my answer will make me look pervy " Chandler said.

"If Monica had come into your room last night and said, 'Chandler, get rid of Kathy, come to me now', what would you have said?" Joey asked.

Chandler smiled slightly as he looked over at Ross and then back at Joey, "I would have said….goodbye Kathy but it doesn't matter, I like Kathy."

"You really do like my sister, don't you?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, I do, but I like Kathy and Monica doesn't want me like that. What about you, Joe?"

"Pheebs. I'm gonna choose Pheebs. She's not high maintenance. Monica and Rachel are great but I'd choose Pheebs, now can go we go play?" Joey asked but didn't wait for the answer before biking off, Chandler and Ross trailing behind. This was how Joey wanted to ring in being thirty. He wanted to get dirty, wanted to be outside in nature and he loved that he got to do it with Chandler and Ross. They were right, ten years ago he would never have even thought of being friends with guys like Chandler and Ross. They were so different but they were his brothers, he cared more about them than he had ever cared about Christopher or Shane. Dramatic or not, he would always be there to protect them.

That night, the emotions hit him again as the group gathered to celebrate Joey's thirtieth in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica made a lot of sandwiches and made a lot of cake. Chandler set up his video game system in the girl's apartment so they could play and grabbed all of the movies he knew Joey would like. The boys began by playing video games but Joey was simply overcome with emotion.

"Oh, dude...stop crying," Chandler said as the girls who had been chatting at the kitchen table walked over to join them.

"It's just...I'm thirty. I'm old," Joey cried as he fell towards Chandler who in turn shoved him away.

"Joey, I'm gonna be thirty next month," Phoebe said.

"I know, you're old too," Joey whined.

"No, I'm looking forward to it. I mean, my twentieth I spent being raped and tortured in Prague, my tenth...oh, on my tenth, my step dad and mom could only afford to give one of us a gift. Ursula got the gift. But I got the box...so I think thirty will be good," Phoebe said as the group just stared at her. Phoebe always seemed to have a habit of just randomly talking about her past as if it could happen to anyone. Joey both loved and hated hearing those stories. It made him love her more but he wished he could have done something.

"Well...we weren't planning on raping or torturing you," Chandler said.

"And we're buying you gifts and not Ursula," Rachel said.

"See, it's already looking good," Phoebe said.

"It's just so strange that we have to start planning for the big 3-0," Ross said.

"Oh, G-d," Joey said.

"Here he goes again," Chandler groaned.

"I'll go get the cake," Monica said as she walked towards the kitchen. Rachel followed her and Phoebe joined the boys on the couch. Joey sniffled a little as Ross and Chandler continued playing. Phoebe reached over and grabbed his hand.

"Don't be sad. You made it to thirty. That's how I look at it. When I had my first my birthday on the streets, my friend Marjorie told me that you got to look at it like you survived another year," Phoebe said. "Congrats. You survived another year."

"True. You're next, what are we doing you Ms. Pheebs?" Joey asked.

"Well, hopefully, I'll be pregnant," Phoebe said.

Ross and Chandler stopped playing and looked at her, Joey looked stunned as well. He had known Phoebe had recently gotten in contact with her step brother Frank Jr. and he knew he and his much older wife had asked Phoebe to carry their child but he hadn't paid attention. Now he definitely was.

"What?" Joey asked.

"I'm gonna carry Frank and Alice's baby. I'm gonna do it. I wanna do that. That's….gonna be my birthday gift to them," Phoebe said.

"Seriously?" Ross asked.

"Yeah," Phoebe said.

"You're amazing, Pheebs," Joey said, placing his arm around her. He would always choose Pheebs. Ross could have Rachel. Chandler could have Monica. Phoebe would always remain his favorite girl. He even loved her more than Kristi.

"For your birthday, we'll go to Chuck E. Cheese," Chandler said.

"I've never been there. I've always wanted to go," Phoebe said.

"Well, then we're doing it," Ross said as he and Chandler turned back to the video game.

"Joey, I got cake, " Monica said as she and Rachel returned to the couch. He loved that Monica had indeed put that it was his twenty ninth birthday.

"I like cake," Joey said as they sang him happy birthday. He would enjoy his cake and he would have to figure out a way to enjoy being thirty. It did help when he and Chandler got to switch apartments with the girls a week or so later. It was a trivia game, girls versus guys and the guys won and got to move into Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica and Rachel moved into the guys apartment. This was the best birthday present ever. He could not believe he got to call the big apartment his new home. Thirty was going to be a good year. Once settled, Joey and Chandler initiated the apartment by having a _Baywatch_ marathon in their chairs.

"This is the best twenty ninth birthday ever," Joey said.

"You're thirty," Chandler.

"Stop it," Joey said, getting choked up. He would remain twenty nine, despite what Chandler said.

"You're not twenty nine...you're old," Chandler said.

"You're an idiot."

"An idiot who in three months, will only be twenty nine," Chandler teased.

Joey shook his head, "you may only be twenty nine, but I'm the one that'll get laid more."

"I have a girlfriend."

"Hey, how is it going with Kathy?" Joey asked. He hadn't seen much of her since his birthday. They had switched apartments and Kathy had not been over. He did find it a little odd but wasn't sure how to push forward.

"Good...you alright with me telling you?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, I'm over her. I'm twenty nine...I'm maturing."

"Thirty."

"Fuck you," Joey shot back which made Chandler laugh. "Seriously though...you and Kathy are doing well?"

"I like her. I do...she's...yeah, I like her."

"Good. Glad to hear it. I want you happy, man. That's my wish for my twenty ninth birthday."

"Thanks...and you're thirty," Chandler said.

"Don't make me kick you," Joey said.

Chandler laughed as he and Joey continued watching _Baywatch_. Joey kept thinking about Monica though, about what he, Chandler and Ross had talked about on the bike trails.

"So are you over Monica?" Joey asked.

"She's not interested."

"You know that's not true."

"I don't wanna talk about it. I wanna watch women in bathing suits run around on the beach."

"Alright. G-d, I love this apartment."

"Happy birthday, my man."

They continued watching in their brand new apartment. This was the life, drinking beer, watching _Baywatch_ , hanging out with his brother. There was no better way to kick off being thirty.


	30. Chapter 30

**February 1998**

It was just a scene but what a scene. Thirty really was starting out just right. He would be acting with Charleton Heston. That was a turning point, he wouldn't be in the scene as Al Pacino's butt double or Charleton Heston's butt double. He would be reading lines with Heston. He wasn't sure who to tell first, he just wanted to take out an ad or skywrite it somewhere. It was everything he had hoped for. He celebrated by taking Chandler to see Kristi. By February, Chandler and Kathy's relationship had ended. Kathy had cheated on him and his buddy was sad so he thought taking him to see Kristi at work would help both of them. Sure, the girls had apparently taken him to a strip club when he was filming his Heston scene but he didn't trust them. He knew strip clubs. His best friend was a stripper, he knew how to make his friend happy again.

"I'm okay, Joe," Chandler said as they sat near the stage at Scores.

"You went to a strip club with girls, what did they do? Talk about their feelings and emotions?" Joey asked.

"No, although Monica did get one of the girls to quit so she could become a teacher."

"Nice."

"And it was fun going to a strip club with Rachel who was crazed over some guy, Phoebe who is pregnant and Monica….the girl I want. Entertaining."

"Yeah, I let you down, man."

"It's fine. So how was it filming with Heston?" Chandler asked.

"Amazing. Just….this could be it, this could cause my career to skyrocket."

"So when you get nominated for an Oscar-"

"When?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't you be?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, you always say the best things," Joey said.

Joey often wondered if Chandler knew how much those words of encouragement counted with him. They always felt so genuine.

"It may not be this one but you were Pacino's ass and now you're working with Heston. So clearly, it's only a matter of time but….I get to be your date, right? Screw the others."

"No shit, of course."

"That's all I want and I get to be thanked first in your acceptance speech."

"Well, I would thank my parents first and my family and-"

"Okay but then after them. When you thank your friends," Chandler said.

"Oh, yeah. You would be first."

"That's all I need to know."

"Hey, Joey...Chandler," Kristi said, walking towards them wearing a sparkly bra and panties. "Which one of you needs the lap dance?"

"This one. Kathy cheated," Joey said.

"It's okay," Chandler said.

"Let her give you a dance," Joey said.

"I don't know," Chandler said.

"I'm good at my job, let me. It'll be worth it," Kristi said.

"No, it's not that...I'm sure you're good but it's just with all due respect, I know your name and it will be very hard for me to objectify you seeing as how I know you on a personal level….it'll…"

"I objectify her all the time," Joey said.

"Thank you, Joey," Kristi said as she moved to give Chandler a lap dance. He looked a little uncomfortable.

"You know I filmed the Heston scene and I got a heads up on an audition and also heard about one for you," Joey said.

"I'm not auditioning for-" Kristi began as she gyrated against Chandler.

"You promised."

"Fine...it's just….I haven't auditioned...well, I-that casting agent-"

"Believe me, he won't be a problem," Joey said.

"I know, thanks to you-" Kristi said.

"Hey, could you talk when you're done," Chandler said, "I'm already uncomfortable."

"Sorry, sweetie," Kristi finished her dance and soon stood up to look at Joey. Joey reached into his back pocket and grabbed a card. He handed it to her. She let out a sigh and took it, placing it in her top before dancing away from him.

"What happened to the casting director?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, you-you don't want to know."

"How-how-what-"

"There was a casting director, he didn't behave in a respectful manner…..so I made a few calls and he went on an extended vacation, no one has heard from him since."

"You terrify me."

"Look, everyone's got someone they protect, someone they won't let get hurt."

"Would you do a hit for me?"

"Who would you want the hit on?" Joey asked.

"Nick."

"The guy Kathy cheated on you with?"

"Yep."

"Who else?"

"Richard."

"Richard? What did he do?"

"He hurt Monica."

"Okay."

"Shane."

"He's already dead."

"I hate this. I hate...and you know...I'm not even sure I'm that upset about Kathy. I don't think that's what I'm the most upset about. Monica. I'm upset with Monica. I mean, I keep going out with these girls….or well, Janice and Kathy….and the one that I would do anything to be with is across the hall. I can walk in there and kiss her and be with her...it would be so easy and I know she likes me. I'm not good at that but I know and G-d, we'd be so good together and I'm frustrated."

"I know."

"I wonder what she would do if the next time we were all in Central Perk, I just kissed her. In front of you guys, in front of everyone….there's no turning back from that," Chandler said.

"I wouldn't do that."

"I won't but...it's..." Chandler let out and annoyed groan.

"And wait, Rachel is crazy about a guy?" Joey asked.

"Where the hell have you been?" Chandler asked, confused by the sudden change in conversation.

"Acting with Heston."

"Yeah, remember Emily."

"Emily?" Joey asked.

"Really?"

"I don't give a shit. I just acted with Heston, I don't have to know anything ever again."

"You're on the right track. Emily is the niece of Rachel's boss. This guy Joshua is a client, I guess, of Rachel's and Rachel likes him and Ross is hooking up with Emily."

"Interesting. So Ross and Rachel drama?"

"Yep."

"You wanna not discuss it and just watch naked chicks instead?"

"Yeah," Chandler said, nodding his head and clicked his beer with Joey's. Joey laughed as they continued drinking and watching the show. Joey had to give Kristi some credit, she was good at her job. He just wished she could do something else.

The evening soon took another turn. Neither Chandler nor Joey were particularly interested in going home. What would they be going home to? Phoebe was pregnant and not much fun to hang out with, Monica would probably get on Chandler about drinking, Rachel was complaining about some dude named Joshua and Ross was apparently getting together with a British chick. Joey had been in a movie with Heston, Chandler had broken up with Kathy, Kathy who had cheated on both of them and almost tore apart their friendship. Joey might be thirty, Chandler was two months shy of twenty nine but they could still play so when Kristi was done dancing, she told them of a party down at a club called Level 3. After waiting for Kristi to get dressed, the trio headed out into the night towards the club to keep the party going.

"My friend, Olivia, is watching Ashley tonight so I can play," Kristi said.

"Wait, did I just get a lap dance from the mother of a two year old?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah. She just turned two in December," Kristi said.

"See, this is why you can't give me lap dances, it's too personal," Chandler said as Kristi laughed and linked her arm in Chandler's and linked her other arm in Joey's.

"I'm a professional," Kristi said.

"I'm not," Chandler said.

"You're funny," Kristi said.

"It's really the only reason I'm friends with him," Joey said.

"Really?" Chandler asked.

"Well, one of many."

"And Kathy sucks, okay….just….you can do better? Why don't you call Monica? Joey said you wanna hook up with her," Kristi said.

"You tell her these things?" Chandler asked.

"Well, duh…I need someone to complain about the rest of you."

"You know Joey hired a hitman to get rid of the guy who robbed our apartment," Chandler said, grinning at Kristi. Sure, Kristi already knew but still it was a low blow.

"Dude."

"It's alright, he hired a hitman to take care of a casting director who gotta little too handsy," Kristi said.

"He got more than handsy and so sue me for wanting to take care of my friends," Joey said.

"You can just buy us presents instead," Chandler said.

"I like presents," Kristi said.

"I do what I do. So Chan, the audition I got for Kristi. You think she should go?"

"I said I would do it," Kristi said.

"I don't believe you'll do it," Joey said.

"Yeah, I do," Chandler said.

"Really?" Kristi asked.

"Yeah, I mean, the casting director is probably not gonna be a problem….I'm assuming and I don't see why you shouldn't," Chandler said.

"Maybe," Kristi said.

"I think you two should get a room," Joey said, noticing that there were clear sparks between them. He wondered if Chandler and Kristi might hook up? He knew Monica would probably kill Joey if he let that happened but it wasn't like Monica was there and maybe she didn't have to know. This could be their night. They could play.

Once in the club, the pink and purple neon strobe lights cut through the dark like razor blades. The dance floor was packed as the trio headed to the bar. They ordered shots and before drinking, Chandler looked over at Joey who simply shrugged. He would not judge tonight. He'd let the music take over, the alcohol take over as the three clicked their shot glasses together and downed them before ordering more.

"I wanna get drunk," Chandler said.

"Do whatever you want, man. I'm not judging," Joey said.

"Awww, you two are so cute. Why don't you two date?" Kristi said.

"We're not gay," Chandler said.

"Yeah, but you've kissed twice already," Kristi said as they got their third round of drinks.

"You told her that," Chandler said.

"Are you embarrassed?" Joey asked, joking.

"Oh, oh, I have the best game ever," Kristi said, downing her drink,"You two kiss and then I will kiss both of you and whoever kisses the best wins and I'm the judge," Kristi said.

"She's a mother, ladies and gentlemen," Chandler said, "and wait, why do Joey and I need to kiss?"

"'Cause I need a visual," Kristi said.

"I need more to drink," Chandler said.

"That hurts," Joey joked as Chandler ordered another round. They pounded them back and Chandler leaned in suddenly, pressing his lips against Joey's. Joey could hear Kristi cheering and laughing a little as Joey kissed back. When they separated, Kristi then took her turn and when she was done, a pensive look appeared on her face as they both looked at her.

"Hmmm, both are quite good. I'd recommend you both," Kristi said.

"We never speak of this publicly….or to four friends of ours in particular?" Chandler asked.

"Don't be ashamed," Joey said.

"Come on, you're my boys for the night. Dance with me," Kristi said, pulling both of them onto the dance floor. The evening was a blur, the dancing, the booze flowing. He could tell Chandler was getting drunker and drunker and knew Monica would probably kill him but Joey was fairly drunk himself. The music pounded through him as Kristi got them both to loosen up, there was kissing, a lot of kissing, a lot of touching. He had no clue of the time, it didn't matter. He loved seeing this side of his roommate, this side which was loose and fun and hilarious. They would deal with consequences later. He wanted to enjoy the moment. He had achieved yet another career milestone. Standing there, the camera on himself and Heston, saying the lines. He could replay every moment in his head and it was his, his glorious moment.

They stumbled out of the club at four am, thinking maybe they should go home but instead headed to a late night dinner down the street to get food. They couldn't go home just yet, they would be asked questions. They sat at a table near the window, ordered as much food as they could stomach and chowed down as they tried to sober up.

"I'm the worst mother ever, aren't I?" Kristi asked.

"No," Joey said.

"I mean, I partied all night. I have a two year old at home and-"

"Oh, please….my mother would do that all the time," Chandler said. "And by the way, the other four will kill us."

"The other four or Monica?" Joey said.

"Monica. She'll probably go,'you have a drinking problem. That's why I can't fuck you,'" Chandler groaned, "girl is stringing me along so much, my balls are upright and blue."

"Awww, well you do kinda have a drinking problem," Joey said.

"Shut up. I'm gonna die alone," Chandler said, drinking some coffee.

"Wait, no you two have each other. No one is gonna marry Joey," Kristi said.

"True. Hey, you know, you and me buddy. We can buy a house in the country. Get some cows," Joey said.

"I do like steak," Chandler said.

"Wait, wait, can I come? I mean, who the hell is gonna marry me? I'm a stripper and porn star with a two year old daughter," Kristi said.

"Totally, we could like share like one bed," Joey said.

"I like that," Kristi said as they continued to eat and muse about their future life in the country. They were distracted soon enough by the sun rising over the city. It was an orangey, firey color that made the city look even more beautiful. The streets were empty, the city as still asleep and he had just had the most amazing night with two people whom he felt were part of him. It would sadden him to finally end this good time although he knew they would have to return to their world.

As they walked up the stairs to the apartment, still a little drunk, they tried to remain quiet. It didn't quite work though because as soon as they reached the landing, they noticed Monica sitting on the steps, clutching a cup of coffee.

"Where you were you boys?" Monica asked, "and why do you smell like you bathed in booze? Chandler-"

"I'm going to bed," Chandler said, walking into the apartment and closing the door behind him.

"You were out all night and he's still drunk and-"

"Monica-"

"No, Joey-"

"He's a grown up," Joey said.

"I know but-"

"Mon...I'm always blunt with you, right? I give it to you straight, no bullshitting."

"Yeah."

"Calm the fuck down. You can't keep riding him like this. Okay, you can't get this upset. You can't judge him, you gotta trust him. Take the stick, remove it from your ass."

"I don't think you understand how tightly lodged it is up there," Monica said.

"No, I get it. Trust him. He will get there. He will at some point realize there's a problem."

"What if he gets there too late?"

"Monica."

"I'm gonna take the stick out of my ass and beat you with it," Monica said.

"That's fine," Joey said.

"Okay….you boys want breakfast?" Monica asked.

"Well, we did eat a lot after the club. So yeah, we could go for a little something." Joey said.

"I'll go get some French toast and make it in my apartment-"

"It's Chandler and I's apartment," Joey said.

"No, it's mine. You're just borrowing it until we figure out how to get it back," Monica said before disappearing into her apartment. Joey walked back in and saw Chandler sitting in one of the chairs, watching television. Joey plopped down in the chair next to him. The chick and the duck sat between them.

"Monica's gonna make us breakfast," Joey said.

"Oh….Joe, do you think I'm an alcoholic?" Chandler asked.

"Not for me to say, dude."

"Yeah."

Monica walked into the apartment with stuff to make French toast and began to make them breakfast as the two boys continued watching television in silence. Nothing more was said of the night, nothing more needed to be said as it would simply just be a night they would never mention to the others and a night they would never forget.

Nothing more was mentioned and by Phoebe's thirtieth birthday, Chandler had disappeared. They were all gathered in his and Chandler's apartment waiting. Ross was talking about his weekend in Vermont with Emily, this new girl that he was dating. The British chick.

"I still can't believe you jumped out of a plane," Monica said. Ross kept rambling about it. Emily was making him do all sorts of crazy things like jumping out of airplanes.

"It was unbelievable. The whole….she's amazing, she's truly amazing and-"

"Guys, where is he?" Phoebe asked, cutting Ross off. Chandler was missing. The party was incomplete and Joey wondered if taking Chandler out drinking and clubbing had been a mistake. He kept trying to think about where his friend might be when something suddenly dawned on him. A run in Chandler had with Janice, he had told Janice he was moving to Yemen to get away from her instead of breaking up with her. He couldn't have gone to Yemen? How could Joey not see him leave with all his stuff. Yemen just seemed a little ridiculous.

"Didn't he say something about Yemen?" Joey asked.

"Wait, you don't think he went to Yemen, do you?" Ross asked.

Rachel stood up and walked into her old bedroom only to reappear a few seconds later.

"His stuff is gone," Rachel said.

Joey, Monica and Ross got up and ran past Rachel into the room. His room was practically empty. He had really gone to Yemen? Joey was pissed. Was Chandler really that dumb? The phone rang as Monica, Ross and Joey walked out of the room.

"I'm not getting that," Phoebe said, getting up and walking towards the big chair. Monica nodded and walked towards the phone, grabbing it.

"Hello?...Chandler, where are you?...Oh, wow...Yemen," Monica said as she lowered the phone and looked at the others, "he's in Yemen," Monica put the phone up to her ear again "What's wrong with you?...I know but…I know...alright….Yeah, she's here," Monica said as she lowered the phone and looked at Phoebe, "he wants to talk to you."

"I'm not here," Phoebe said.

"Phoebe. He's in Yemen and he-"

"Fine, tell him to send me a postcard," Phoebe said as Monica put the phone back up to her ear. "Uh, Chandler...she's a little upset with you right now….No, I'm not going to ask her that….No….Fine," Monica said as she lowered the phone again, "Pheebs, Chandler wants to know if you can pick him up from the airport tomorrow in your cab."

"Tell him to go to hell," Phoebe said.

"Did you hear that?" Monica asked, putting the phone up to her ear. "Yeah, we'll figure it out. Just get home. Call us when you get back to New York."

Monica hung up the phone. Joey looked over at Phoebe and it pissed him off looking at how upset she was. If anyone deserved an amazing birthday, it was Phoebe.

"No, no. Why...okay, why is he so fucking self destructive? So Janice breaks up with him, he develops a drug habit. He kisses Kathy while she was still dating Joey...and this is after we helped him through the drug habit and then...then he fucks things up with Kathy...and now instead of having the balls to say to Janice that he doesn't want to date her, he flies to Yemen...with all his stuff. When is it going to be good enough for Chandler Bing?" Phoebe asked.

"Look, Pheebs...there's a lot you don't know about Chandler," Ross said.

"No, I know a lot. It is my thirtieth birthday and instead of him being here...no and he broke a promise. He left," Phoebe said.

"He's coming back. Tomorrow," Monica said.

Phoebe let out a snort as Monica got up and went to the kitchen to get some more food for the group. Joey found himself getting angry. He needed a moment. He couldn't show them how angry he was. He wanted to punch something. He got up and walked into Chandler's room, shutting the door behind him. He looked around the room for something to throw but nothing was there. His room was empty. How had he not been aware? Why would Chandler go that far? Joey sat on the bed, staring at the ground as Ross walked in.

"Leave me alone," Joey said.

"No, I get it," Ross said.

"I wanna be his friend. I do Ross. The guy….and not 'cause he pays for my shit but I really do love the guy but fuck….seriously? He went to Yemen instead of breaking up with Janice? Come on, grow a pair."

"I know."

"You've been his friend for longer than I have. How have you held on?" Joey asked.

"Not sure."

"I'm not sure what to do. Tell me what to do. Seriously, and I'm asking….what the hell am I supposed to do?" Joey asked, begging. That night where they had been out all night had been amazing. It was an incredible night and why couldn't they just keep nights like that going? Why did he have to keep pissing people off?

"I wish I knew. I know I make excuses and….I have to think and I know this sounds very Phoebe but there's a reason we were put together as college roommates, you know and I don't….I don't what the reason is and maybe…"

"And it would be so much easier if he was actually an asshole. If he was a jerk, I'd write him off but I like the guy. I don't want to stop but I don't know….how have you not given up? Have you ever gotten close?" Joey asked.

"Oh, yeah. The guy vanished before my wedding to Carol. He didn't even come to my engagement party. We had to track him down. He's….but I like the guy too and you're right, it would be so much easier if he was an asshole. If he was Gandalf or Kip, it would be easy but he….this aside, is actually a good guy. I'm glad you're here though, Joe."

"You are?"

"Oh yeah 'cause I don't know if I'd survive handling him on my own and you live with him so you can keep a better eye on him."

"He's an adult."

"Yeah, I know."

"So you jumped out of a plane?" Joey asked, changing the subject. He just didn't care. He hated that Chandler was so dramatic. He hated that Chandler was ruining Phoebe's night.

"Yes, I did."

"Did you pee your pants?" Joey asked.

"A little bit, not gonna lie."

"You know, you and I should hang out together more."

"That would be awesome."

There was a knock on door and Monica peered in, looking at both of them.

"Boys? Do you want cake?" Monica asked.

"Why is that a question?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, why is that even a question?" Ross asked.

Monica walked in and shut the door behind her as she let out a laugh and starred Ross and Joey.

"Okay, I want us to forget about Chandler right now. He is in Yemen. He made his choice and we can all sit around and be angry, I know I am but I want to celebrate Phoebe. She is thirty. This is a big deal for someone who spent ten years living on the streets. I mean, she made it to thirty. Okay, let's be pissed tomorrow. I'm tired and want a break and I know we are all tired and want a break. There is cake. I have drinks but for Phoebe, just water, and we will have a good time," Monica said.

"Well, there is cake," Joey said.

"I could use cake," Ross said as he and Joey stood up and followed Monica out of the room and towards the table where Phoebe and Rachel were sitting on the couch, Phoebe was looking at a dress and Rachel was sitting by her. Phoebe held up the dress to show off to the guys. It looked like a blue dress with daisies on it, it was very pretty.

"Look what Rachel made me," Phoebe said.

"Very nice," Ross said.

"You're good at that," Joey said, truthfully.

"I think so," Rachel said.

"Okay, cake time….." Monica said walking over to the group with a cake decorated with lit candles. The group sang happy birthday, Phoebe blew out the candles and Monica began cutting into it and passing out plates.

"So, Pheebs….how does it feel to be thirty?" Rachel asked.

"Good. I mean, I can't…." Phoebe said.

"Did you think you'd live to see thirty?" Ross asked.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Phoebe asked.

"Really? With everything you've been through?" Ross said.

"In order to get through everything I've been through, I had to believe I'd make it to thirty. Look, I know my stories are wild and I know my life stories are unlike anything you've experienced but….they're mine. They're amazingly mine and I went through them and….I'm proud of them," Phoebe said.

"I wanna go out tonight," Joey said.

"Really?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, let's go out. The five of us. I wanna go to a club or….you're thirty Pheebs, we should celebrate that," Joey said. He wanted to celebrate Phoebe. He wanted to enjoy the night as he had with Chandler a few weeks earlier. Chandler could stay in Yemen. He just thought this night should be about Phoebe. She had been through so much, she had survived so much that she needed a celebration in her honor.

"I'm pregnant," Phoebe said.

"I'll drink your booze," Joey said.

"Should we go out? Chandler's not here and-"

"He made his choice, right Mon?" Joey asked, cutting off Rachel and looking straight at Monica. Monica seemed to get him.

"Right," Monica said, "let's not tell him that we're going out. Let's keep that between us five but I do think we deserve a celebration."

"We should invite Janice," Phoebe said.

"No," Joey said.

"Awww, but Joe she must be so sad that her boyfriend has moved to Yemen," Phoebe said.

"And she must think we are the worst friends ever because we never helped him pack or even said goodbye," Rachel said.

"Exactly, maybe we should invite her because she probably thinks we're really sad too," Phoebe said.

"Her coming would make me sadder," Joey said.

"Are we being mean?" Rachel asked.

"I don't think so. Look, we will still pick him up at the airport-"

"I'm not coming with you to pick him up," Phoebe said, cutting off Ross.

"Okay, then the rest of us will go….we can tell him we stayed at home and celebrated and we did celebrate here but we should be celebrating Phoebe. It is a big deal that you made it to thirty. I do wanna go out and we should not have to stop our lives every single time he makes a stupid decision. I don't think we're being mean. This is Phoebe's night. It's not his," Ross said.

"Let's go," Joey said.

The group finished up their cake and soon left the apartment to go out. The five of them took a cab to Club Lava in Manhattan. There was food, there was dancing and it was the five of them. They crowded around a tiny table with drinks and sparkling water in hand.

"Okay, so am I going to be the only sober one by the end of the evening?" Phoebe asked.

"No, I'll be sober," Monica said.

"No, you'll be wasted. That is my dream for you, Mon. That is my birthday wish," Phoebe said.

"Mon, come on….get drunk with me. Let's show Joey and Ross how to be classy drunks," Rachel said.

"We're not classy drunks," Monica said.

"I know but we could try," Rachel said.

"Can I get you guys anything?" A cocktail waitress wearing next to nothing walked towards them.

"Yes, can I have you?" Joey asked.

"Could you be anymore of a pig?" Rachel asked.

"I really can, you wanna see see me try?" Joey asked.

"Okay, a round of tequila shots except for her," Ross said, pointing at Phoebe.

"I'm pregnant," Phoebe said.

"Pregnant, I thought you were just getting fat?" Ross asked, grinning.

"Oh bite me," Phoebe said.

"Alright, I'll get you kids your drinks," the waitress said, walking off leaving the five looking rather stunned.

"Did she just call us 'kids?'" Monica asked.

"Oh, score," Rachel said as they did a five way high five and began laughing.

"How much younger do you think she actually is than all of us?" Phoebe asked.

"That's the worst game ever and I don't wanna play," Rachel said.

"Yeah, it sucks as much as betting your apartment in a trivia game," Ross said.

"Transponster…..it's not a word," Monica said.

"We are getting our place back," Rachel said.

"Like hell you are," Joey said.

"What the hell does he do?" Rachel said. "Phoebe and Joey, you both worked there. What does he do?"

"I don't know," Phoebe said.

"I didn't pay attention," Joey said.

The waitress walked back to the table with four shots and handed them to the group. Ross lifted his up and was followed by Joey, Rachel and Monica lifting up their shots and Phoebe lifting her water glass up.

"To Phoebe-" Ross said as the rest repeated after him, "and to Yemen." The group yelled 'Yemen' as loudly as they could as they drank and soon they decided to dance. Joey grabbed Monica and Phoebe and danced with them as Ross and Rachel went off on their own. Monica and Phoebe held onto him and Joey was especially protective of Phoebe. He didn't want anyone hurting her, coming close to her.

"So good plan?" Joey asked as he spun Phoebe around.

"Very."

"I want you to have a good birthday. Forget about Chandler. Just have fun," Monica said.

"I am. I'm glad you're here," Phoebe said. "I...it does make me a little sad but….I guess he's just the type that leaves. He does. Didn't he leave before Ross' wedding to Carol? He sabotages things."

"But not...not on purpose. I honestly think he doesn't know….I think it scares him," Monica said, "having the close group."

"He should get over it," Joey said.

"I know but….hey, we've all got our issues, right?" Monica asked.

Joey let out a snort in agreement as they continued to dance. It truly did piss him off Chandler wasn't with them. He really was beginning to hate this side of Chandler, this self destructive side. He didn't quite get it, he was not sure how to handle it.

The next morning, they woke up in what was now Chandler and Joey's apartment. It was a bit confusing as four of the five were a little hungover. Chandler soon called to let them know he was at JFK and Phoebe went home while Joey, Ross, Monica and Rachel went to the airport. They would not tell Chandler about their fun, not wanting to upset him and also wanting to keep it amongst them. They would act as if nothing was wrong.

"Why wouldn't you just break up with her?" Rachel asked when they finally got Chandler.

"I tried...she said no," Chandler said.

"I can't believe you went to Yemen. Have I taught you nothing about women?" Joey asked, laughing. He figured he'd just joke about it, there was no use getting mad. Getting mad didn't seem to work and he wasn't in the mood for an apology.

"You know as well as I do, she doesn't take rejection easily," Chandler said.

"Still...Yemen."

"Yep, a forty two hundred dollar break up...Joey, get ready to pay rent this month," Chandler remarked.

"Dammit, Chandler," Joey said.

"Is Phoebe really mad?" Chandler asked.

"Well, yeah...she's not pleased," Rachel said.

Joey tried to lighten the mood as they walked through the airport and headed back to the apartment. It was just all so absurd, so utterly ridiculous. Chandler had really flown to Yemen to get away from Janice. He would never get that move but it was yet another thing about his friend that he just did not get.


	31. Chapter 31

**March 1998-May 1998**

"I just….I'm craving meat," Phoebe complained to Joey at a fake party for Emily, a very strange fake party for Emily.

It was Rachel's idea to throw some sort of party for Emily in order to get to this new guy that she had a crush on named, Joshua. She wanted to like Joshua so thought a party for Emily would be good, Joey wasn't quite sure how it would help and to be honest, he didn't quite care. He did, however, care about Phoebe and that she was craving meat. He cared so much that he found himself making a promise.

"I will stop eating meat if it will help. I'll eat your cows," Joey said.

"You will?" Phoebe asked.

"I will," Joey said.

Of course, the promise was better said than done. He didn't realize how much he loved meat until he was no longer eating it. His promise did not last very long. He was soon eating steaks in private and changed the rules in his head. He would just not eat meat in Phoebe's presence. That could work? It was just a tough promise to keep.

As March turned to April, that promise really was getting broken over and over. He was even having a tough time hiding it from Phoebe who seemed to be quite aware of the fact that he was not giving up meat. It almost became a joke, Joey's pretending to be a vegetarian. It was a joke just like Chandler hating his name.

He still wasn't sure how he had fallen for that one. He thought he knew when Chandler was lying. He had always thought he knew but how he had not figured out Chandler was messing with him, he had no clue. Phoebe discovered she was having triplets and was told she could name one of the babies. It was between Chandler and Joey and they kept arguing over who had the better name when Chandler freaked out. He completely freaked out, telling them how he was going to change his name and was going to be something else but it was all a joke. It was all a crazy, insane joke.

"Will you let it go?" Chandler asked.

Monica and Rachel had given them Knicks tickets and they were celebrating Chandler's birthday. Joey was still stuck on the joke. It made him sad that he had not figured this out. How could he let himself be played by his friend again?

"No, I can't….I thought I could tell when you were lying. It is terrifying how good you are at lying."

"It is….so good that she's naming her kid after me."

"Not fair. By the way, I didn't get on your ass about Yemen, but really? Yemen?" Joey asked.

Many things were bothering him about Chandler lately, the Yemen thing was one of them. Sure it was two months ago but still, Yemen.

"I fucked up."

"You do that a lot."

"I know."

"Hey, why can you talk during a basketball game but you can't talk during hockey?"

"Far less stressful."

"Yemen. Did you at least do anything in Yemen? You were there twenty-four hours. Did you at least drink your stupidity away?"

"Nope. It's illegal."

"Really?"

"Apparently, they have prohibition and I asked where the nearest bar was and nope…."

"See, that should've been Janice's first clue. No way would you go somewhere that had no booze."

"Exactly. So what do we think of Emily? You know Rachel and I put bugs in Emily's scones. Ross ate one. It was funny."

"Emily….okay, she got him to jump out of a plane," Joey said.

"Would you ever jump out of a plane?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, hell no."

"Shoot a guy in the head, sure but skydiving….that's too much."

"Never shot a guy in the head. So you gave her bug scones? Who made bug scones? Monica didn't."

"No, my buddy Tyler."

"Oh, yeah, he's a good dude."

"His wife is British."

"Rachel hates Emily," Chandler said.

"No shit. At what point are we as a group going to say, 'I don't give a shit about Ross and Rachel's drama,'" Joey said.

"I stopped caring a long time ago."

"I think I want another hot dog," Joey said.

"Aren't you supposed to not eat meat?" Chandler asked.

He let out an annoyed sigh. He regretted that promise although he did love Phoebe but it was just becoming more and more difficult for him to keep.

"She would want me to have a hot dog at a game."

"No, she wouldn't. I was at that stupid party."

"Yeah, that party was stupid."

"Phoebe said do not eat meat," Chandler said.

"I'm not gonna tell her. Are you?"

"No, let's get some more hot dogs," Chandler said as they got up and walked over to the concession stands. They got more beer, more hot dogs, more nachos. They soon returned to their seats. Joey took a bite of his hot dog, it was incredible. Yes, he did feel a bit bad. He had made that promise to Phoebe but she didn't have to know. Although, he figured she probably did.

"So good."

"You're the worst vegetarian ever," Chandler said.

"You put bugs in scones."

"Emily is weird. I know Rachel hates every girl Ross goes out with but I kinda think she has a point this time. She's kind of a bitch."

"You know it doesn't seem like she wants to get to know us. Julie wanted to know us. It's odd that she doesn't."

"I don't think she likes us."

"What's not to like?"

"I dunno. I think, we're lovable."

"I love us," Joey said.

Chandler laughed as they continued watching the game. It was a great game. He preferred going to basketball and baseball games with Chandler over going to hockey games with him. Hockey with Chandler was boring. He loved the game but he wanted to interact with his friend and Chandler treated hockey like it was a life or death situation. After the game, they headed to a bar nearby to keep the celebrations going. It was still Chandler's birthday, once there they tried calling Ross but he wasn't home.

"You know, Ross never hangs out with us. You ever notice that?" Joey asked, taking a sip of his beer as he looked at the television over the bar playing another game. "It's you and me and then Ross sometimes."

"I do. But Ross has another life. He has a whole other set of friends that he never lets us hang out with. He even hangs out with my ex, Lizzie, but he won't tell me. He just likes to complain. He likes to be in relationships. So Rachel or Emily…..or...you know, you wanna hear something shitty? I hope that one that one doesn't last," Chandler said.

"Hey, if it were me, I would have forgotten her number after I slept with her."

"Although, do think you and I should start looking for serious relationships?" Chandler asked.

"You and I?"

"No, dumbass….you and I looking for girls, serious relationships. Look, I'm gonna move on from Monica. I'm twenty nine. I've known her eleven years. If something were to happen by now, it would. So I'm closing the chapter. I mean, I'm not gonna be like Ross. Pine over the same girl for like ten years then go through dating, not dating crap. Monica and I are not gonna happen."

"Dude, are you like maturing? Don't do that without me. I'm not there yet. You looking to settle down?"

"Oh, hell no….just have a relationship that lasts longer than a few months. Lizzie was my longest relationship and that was college. It's time."

"Closing the book on Mon?" Joey asked.

"Closing the book on Mon," Chandler said.

Joey and Chandler clicked their beers together and drank. They hung out some more before deciding to head back to the apartment. As they walked towards the apartments, they soon realized the switch. Joey would never quite be sure how they pulled it off. How did the girls manage to switch the apartments back? How did they manage to do it in such a short amount of time? Phoebe was pregnant, she couldn't have done any heavy lifting so how could they have possibly lifted all that furniture? They had to have had help? Chandler wanted to switch back, Joey didn't. He didn't care that much and when Rachel and Monica decided to kiss for a minute in order to end this competition once and for all, he definitely didn't care. Watching Rachel and Monica kiss would forever be the highlight of his life and all he could think about when he walked back into his bedroom. They hadn't really organized his room but he didn't care that much. A Knicks game with his best friend and then Rachel and Monica kissing. It was the best day as he fell onto his bed thinking only of that kiss.

"Hey, Joe! Joey, get out here and help me!"

Joey let out an annoyed groan as he heard Chandler yelling his name. He so did not want to deal with Chandler, he wanted alone time. He got up and walked out, seeing Chandler standing there with his arm around Rachel.

"Dude, I am so not going to help you do that. If you don't know how to do it by now...all you do is just wrap your hand around your-"

"Joey, stop talking," Chandler said.

"Wow, didn't realize you two were that close," Rachel said, "should've known. I owe Pheebs money. She's still at our place, I'll go now."

Joey tilted his head to the side, taking in Chandler's appearance. He looked like he had fallen in something sticky. Was he really done that quickly? But why was Rachel in their apartment and why wasn't Chandler letting her get away from him? He was a little confused.

"She filled my bed with honey and I think we should help Rachel clean it up, don't you think?" Chandler asked.

Joey grinned, getting it immediately as he watched Rachel try again to escape from Chandler's embrace but to no avail. He kept his arm firmly planted around her. Joey knew the story. Chandler had met Rachel at camp and filled her bed with peanut butter then years later, covered Rachel's car with peanut butter and apparently Rachel had tried to get her revenge. Well, that wouldn't do. The girls had taken back their apartment in a ruthless way. Joey walked towards them and gently grabbed Rachel's other arm.

"I agree, that's not nice, Rach," Joey said.

"Let me go," Rachel said.

"Payback, beeyotch," Chandler said as he grabbed one of Rachel's arms and Joey grabbed the other. They lifted her up as she began alternating between squirming and laughing. They both gently tossed her on Chandler's bed and immediately high fived each other. Rachel squirmed as she sat up, honey now completely covering her.

"Fine...you know, Pheebs been craving meat lately. Make she'd like some bird," Rachel muttered as she stood up, walked past the two boys and out into the living room, still sticky but looking for the two birds just as Ross walked in.

"Guys, I have news...Chandler, Rachel...what are...never mind, come on, I wanna tell all of you," Ross said as he ran out of the apartment and into Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and the two boys exchanged looks as they followed him into the apartment to tell the group together that he and Emily were getting married. He was getting married? Ross and Emily? This seemed quick. Joey looked over at Rachel who looked like she was trying to hold herself together. She smiled and walked over to Ross, hugging him. Joey watched her carefully as she looked on the verge of tears. She stepped back and walked towards Chandler and Joey, not quite looking at them as Monica dragged Ross over to the couch to talk about the wedding. Phoebe gently squeezed Rachel's shoulder as she went to get something to eat from the fridge.

"I guess I should go fix your sheets," Rachel said.

"Don't worry about it," Chandler said. "I'll take care of it."

"Thanks," Rachel said.

"You okay?" Joey asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine," Rachel said.

"Rach?" Joey asked.

"I'm fine. It's….it's fine or maybe not but I guess it has to be," Rachel said.

Joey gently put his arm around Rachel hugging as they went to join Ross, Monica and Phoebe. He kept comforting Rachel as she wrapped her arm around his waist, grabbing hold of the back of his shirt. She was covered still with honey but it didn't matter.

The next day, he walked into Bloomingdales and walked towards where Rachel's office was, the personal dressing area. He walked in and saw her sitting at her desk, staring at a piece of paper and writing some stuff on it.

"Rach?"

"Joey?" Rachel asked, looking at him as if she was stunned to see him there. "What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to check in. You okay?"

"I'm fine, Joey."

"Really?"

"I am."

"Okay."

"Look, if Ross wants to get married. He can get married. We haven't dated in a long time and clearly we're not good together so you know…..I'm with Joshua."

"I know."

"I hate Emily," Rachel said, tears filling her eyes as he sat in a chair across from her. She kept playing with the things on her desk.

"I know. I know about the scones."

"That was brilliant."

"It was."

"I just….I don't know….I should be okay but maybe she's wrong for him but she makes him happy and I hate her and I know I hate everyone Ross dates and I know….it's the end of a chapter. My relationship with Ross. The roller coaster is ending and I should be happy, I really should but I can't be because….I don't know…."

"Why don't you talk to him?"

"What am I gonna say? I'm just….I have to move forward or at the very least, figure out how. He just met her. How does he know? Can I take a hit out on her?"

"No."

"What good are you?" Rachel asked.

"You can't just order hits like you're ordering a burger from McDonalds."

"Why not?" Rachel asked.

"'Cause….you know, you would never last in the mob."

"What?" Rachel said, a little stunned.

"You'd okay killing off half the country," Joey said.

"Not half….just the ones that annoy me which is about roughly half, not half."

"Well, then."

Rachel let out a laugh as she sighed. Joey watched her as she picked a pen off her desk and began twirling it around.

"I will be okay," Rachel said. "It just hurts. That's all."

"I get that."

Joey remained there for a bit longer, wanting to make sure Rachel was okay. He stayed until her next client came and then left. Ross was getting married? It felt so bizarre that he was getting married. He didn't know much about Emily. She seemed nice enough albeit a little bit stuffy. He wondered how she could possibly fit into the group.

"She's just kinda prissy," Joey said with his night guard in his mouth. A few weeks had passed since Ross became engaged and Ross had decided he would get married in London in the the of May which led to very little planning time. Chandler had been made Best Man which Joey found a little unfair considering Chandler had already been Ross' Best Man once but Joey had been told he could help plan the the Bachelor Party so he immediately set up a meeting with himself, Chandler and Kristi at Umbertos.

"Why are you talking to me with that in?" Kristi asked.

Joey had recently begun snoring and he had to wear a night guard to prevent it but he kinda liked wearing it. He felt like a super cool hockey player.

"I like it. It makes me look cool and it tastes like blueberries," Joey said, grinning.

"Take it out. I'm not talking to you with that in," Kristi said.

"I told you she wouldn't like it," Chandler said.

"Fine," Joey said, taking it out and shoving it in his pocket. "Okay, so this Emily-"

"You know Monica tried on her wedding dress," Chandler said.

"What?" Kristi asked.

"Yeah, I walked into the girl's apartment and all three of them were in wedding dresses and Monica was wearing Emily's," Chandler said.

"How did she look?" Kristi asked.

"I almost kissed her. In front of Phoebe and Rachel….I leaned in and I could tell she wanted me to kiss her."

"My G-d. Between Ross and Rachel and you and Monica, I thank G-d for Phoebe everyday," Joey moaned. "Alright, let's get back to this bachelor party. I still think I should be the Best Man."

"I've known him longer and I was the Best Man at his first wedding," Chandler said.

"Yeah and that marriage broke up."

"Not because I was the Best Man but because she was a lesbian."

"Technicality. Okay, Kristi you gonna strip for us?" Joey asked.

"I can't watch you strip," Chandler said.

"Why not?" Joey asked.

"I know her personally," Chandler said.

"Okay, okay….I'll get one of my friends to come. A girl neither of you have met," Kristi said.

"Okay," Chandler said.

"Do you think this marriage is gonna last?" Kristi asked.

"I don't know. It's the second one," Chandler said.

"Why did you let him marry a lesbian?" Joey asked.

"I didn't know she was one," Chandler said.

The bachelor party would be planned with a stripper friend of Kristi's. He would take control of that. It was where he would excel. That would be his excitement although, in the back of his mind something was starting to change. He was starting to get bored. He liked his life, he liked his friends and he did like how his life was going even if he wasn't quite as successful as he hoped he'd be but he wanted excitement. He was starting to get bored and boredom for Joey was dangerous. He just felt stuck. Something exciting needed to happen and soon.

Ross had been in grad school. He had somehow forgotten about that, forgotten about him getting a PhD but apparently he was graduating so in the midst of all the sudden wedding planning and bachelor party planning, he was graduating and the rest of the group joined. It was one of the first times as well, Emily had hung out with them without Ross close by and Joey was already starting not to like her. He had tried so hard but she was not a fun person.

"You think a dinosaur is gonna give the commencement speech?" Chandler asked.

"Oh G-d, I hope so," Joey said.

"Oh, look there's Julie," Chandler pointed.

"His ex-girlfriend?" Emily asked, overhearing them.

"Yeah," Chandler said before screaming, "Julie! Whoa-Julie! Go, Julie! Go away, Ross!"

Julie waved from the stage as Monica leaned over and smacked them both.

"Boys," Monica said, "you're being rude. Knock it off."

"We're having fun, Mon," Joey said.

"Time and a place," Monica said.

Joey glared at Monica before turning back to look at the stage. Julie and Ross were talking about something.

"Sexy Ross," Joey yelled before poking Chandler.

"I love dinosaurs," Chandler yelled.

"Homosapiens forever," Joey yelled.

"Love me long time, sexy dinosaurs!" Chandler yelled.

They could tell Ross was laughing and both boys noticed Rachel was laughing but the best was that as always they could hear Phoebe cracking up.

"Score," Joey said.

"Great, now you two set her off," Monica said.

"Hey, Pheebs….blah," Chandler said.

Phoebe could barely control herself. That laugh sounded other worldly. It came from parts of her body no one knew and it was Joey's favorite sound, as well as Chandler's.

"I'm sorry, Mon," Phoebe said,

"It's not your fault, Pheebs. It's these two jackasses," Monica said, "Rachel, stop laughing."

"I-it's Phoebe's-when she laughs, I can't help it," Rachel, said, laughing."

"You boys are are being rude," Emily said, "it is a graduation ceremony."

"Thank you, Emily," Monica said.

Chandler and Joey exchanged a look. It was one thing for Monica to tell them what to do but Emily? That couldn't work.

"Jurassic Park, based on a true story," Chandler yelled.

"I love you, Hairy Dinosaur," Joey yelled.

Phoebe was laughing again as Joey and Chandler continued. Even from the stage, they could tell Ross and Julie were both laughing. It was fun, they were going to make it fun despite Monica shushing them but it wasn't even Monica that was bugging him. It was the side eye he kept getting from Emily. She really seemed annoyed and maybe they could be quiet, but they didn't want to be.

After the ceremony, they waited for Ross and of course played with Phoebe. It was extra fun now that she was pregnant. They kept poking her, trying to make her laugh more. They still kept getting glares from Emily which made them want to make Phoebe laugh even harder.

"Oh, Emily," Monica said, "we're going after so-"

"You know, I'm not sure I'll be able to," Emily said.

"It's to celebrate Ross," Monica said.

"I don't wanna go to a coffee house to celebrate," Emily said.

"Oh, we're not going to Central Perk. We're gonna go to Gramercy Tavern," Monica said.

"Yeah, I'm not sure. You know, I'm gonna go look for Ross," Emily grinned before walking off. Monica let out a sigh.

"Not a real friendly girl," Chandler said.

"I wanna give her a scone," Rachel muttered. Chandler let out a laugh.

"Guys, come on. She's…I don't know," Monica said.

Monica walked off towards her parents as Joey and Chandler turned their attention towards Phoebe. They kept poking her which made her laugh. They kept doing it until Ross and Julie walked towards them.

"You two are insane," Ross said.

"Oh, congrats sexy dinosaur," Chandler said.

"Sexy hairy dinosaur," Joey said.

"Sexiest and hairiest dinosaur I've ever seen," Chandler said.

"I'm sorry, Ross," Phoebe said, still cracking up.

"It's okay, Pheebs. I know you were provoked."

"It's just...they...don't….let me...stop," Phoebe was laughing so hard, she was trying to catch her breath. Joey and Chandler turned back and continued poking her.

"You two need professional help," Ross said, laughing as Rachel and Monica approached them.

"Congrats, sexy dinosaur," Rachel said which made Joey and Chandler stop poking Phoebe and look at Rachel.

"Sexy dinosaur," both Joey and Chandler said together.

"I tried," Monica said, "I really did but you know as soon as Phoebe starts laughing, these two bozos turn into five year olds."

"T Rex is my homeboy," Joey said.

"I stop for Stegosaurus," Chandler said.

"I know, I know," Ross said.

"Hey, guys," Julie said.

"Julie congrats," Monica said as Julie approached them.

"Congratulations, Julie," Rachel said.

"Thank you, Rachel," Julie said, "and Phoebe-"

"I'm so sorry. Will you two stop? I'm pregnant and you're gonna make me pee," Phoebe asked, laughing as she tried smack away Joey and Chandler.

"It's okay, I miss that sound." Julie said. "I wish I could bottle it up and take it with me."

"Me too," Rachel said.

The fun continued even if Emily wasn't part of it. He really wasn't sure he liked Emily. He didn't like that she didn't loosen up and how strict she was. He didn't really like that she seemed so uninterested in getting to know any of them


	32. Chapter 32

**May 1998**

He saw her by the women's restroom of Central Perk. He was walking out of the bathroom and almost walked into her. He was caught off guard by her and she looked stunned to see him. She looked kinda pretty with her long black hair and crystal blue eyes.

"Hey, how you doin'?" Joey asked, grinning at her. She looked uncomfortable and kept looking at the bathroom door.

"Someone in there? You can use the guy's bathroom," Joey said.

"No, no...I'm-I'm fine-I-you're-Joey, right?" the woman asked.

"Have we met before?" Joey asked.

"Um….um…." the woman stuttered a little when the bathroom door opened and younger version of the girl standing in front of him, glared up at her.

"See, mom. I can go to the bathroom by myself. I'm almost like a grown up," the girl said.

"Uh….yeah, you are sweetie. This was a mistake-"

"What?" Joey asked, confused as to what was going on.

"Honey, we're gonna go," the woman said, grabbing the little girl's hand.

"Mom, you said I could get a brownie. Not fair. You're making me move and now I can't even get a brownie. This sucks," the girl muttered.

"You know….there's a better place….this was wrong...Lauren, let's go," the woman said, grabbing the girl's hand and walking off, practically sprinting out of the coffee shop just as Phoebe walked in. He walked towards her, still confused.

"That was the most bizarre thing, ever," Joey said.

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"That woman that was just in here. She knew my name but then freaked out."

"Maybe she was a soap opera fan?"

"Yeah, maybe. It was odd."

"Yeah, you ready for dinner?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah."

Joey shook his head as he followed Phoebe out of Central Perk. He helped Phoebe into a cab as the two headed out to a nice restaurant for a date. He was still bothered by what had happened but maybe Phoebe was right, she was just a fan.

"This is nice," Phoebe said once they were at the restaurant, sitting across from each other. "By the way, you have not been a good vegetarian."

"I have."

"When you went to the Knicks game, did you have a hot dog?" Phoebe asked.

"Hot dogs aren't meat."

"What are they?" Phoebe asked.

"No one knows. G-d, I can't believe Ross is getting married."

"Rachel hates Emily."

"I know."

"How was Ross' bachelor party?"

"Ehh, I don't know if I wanna go to London," Joey said.

"Well, I'm not going and neither is Rachel. So hang out with us."

"No, but it would be cool to go. I've never been to London….it's just…"

"You won't eat meat in London?" Phoebe asked.

"I won't."

"You are eating meat."

"You're still my favorite girl," Joey tried.

"I better be."

"Well, it's just you and me now. We got fucking Ross and Rachel, Monica and Chandler. They're driving me crazy."

"I know. Let's send them on a ship."

"Why on a ship?"

"Why the hell not? Oh, better plan, you and I go on a ship and we raise these three babies all on our own," Phoebe said.

"Ehhh, I don't wanna raise three babies."

"Are you ever gonna settle down?"

"Only with you, baby."

"Oh, that makes me feel fuzzy…..oh, wait, no...that's gas."

"Pleasant."

They ordered dinner, a steak for her, pasta for him. He craved the steak and he knew he wasn't being the best at his promise but as long as he didn't eat meat in front of her, that counted.

"I can't wait to be done with this pregnancy and you know...I hate standing next Monica and Rachel while pregnant. I mean, on a non-pregnant day, I'm already taller and bigger but now standing next to them, I look like them I could swallow both of them whole."

"What are you talking about?" Joey asked. "You are far more beautiful. You're like hot, hot. Monica and Rachel, I have to imagine them together to get a full hot chick experience. You, I just need you alone."

"Awww, that is so offensive and yet so sweet."

"I know, right."

"Ooo, baby Chandler is kicking," Phoebe said, placing her hand on her stomach.

"You can tell the difference?" Joey asked.

"Of course. I know them. I know them so well and I know it's weird. I know I said, I can't wait to not be pregnant….but I'm gonna miss them when they're gone."

"I'm sorry, Pheebs. Oh, I have a funny story. This could cheer you up. Chandler was messing with me. The whole name thing? You know how Chandler said he hated his name? Turns out, he doesn't hate his name after all," Joey laughed.

"He lied?" Phoebe asked.

Joey's eyes widened as he looked at Phoebe and realized that perhaps she did not find this story quite as funny as he did.

"Well, he didn't lie, really...he was just playing me and it...I-It's a funny story."

"No. No, it's not. I can't believe he did that. He lied...I...no...this is not okay. I actually believed he hated his name. G-d, he must think I'm an idiot or something."

"No, I think he thinks I'm an idiot," Joey grinned, "he was trying to get to me."

He was so certain Phoebe would love that story. He thought for sure, she would laugh but it seemed instead that she was pissed.

"Doesn't matter. Joey, can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I think I'm starting to like you more Chandler."

"You don't mean that," Joey was beginning to feel bad. He didn't want Phoebe to be mad at Chandler.

"No, I do. I mean, I'm naming one of the babies after him. I feel like such a jerk. If he wants to play a prank then saran wrap a toilet, don't do that. And okay... he missed my thirtieth birthday because he was off in Yemen...it's just...how do you forgive him so easily?"

"I just do," Joey said, shrugging, although desperately wanting to change the subject. He did not expect this reaction. He had really thought she would laugh.

"How? You helped him through drug withdrawals and he pays you back by kissing your girlfriend. How do you even begin to forgive that?"

Joey let out a sigh, twirling his pasta around his fork and sticking it in his mouth. He knew Phoebe wanted an answer but he didn't know what to say or at least what answer to give that did not end up with him accidentally throwing Chandler under the bus. He also did not want to reveal how he had saved Chandler. He really just didn't want to go too deep and while it was difficult, he felt he had to tell Phoebe something.

"Chandler's...Chandler grew up differently than us," Joey said.

"I don't wanna hear it. I grew up differently than all of you."

"I know. It's just...he...I think he grew up alone a lot-"

"As did I."

"You still had friends though, Pheebs. Even when you were still living on the street, didn't you still have friends?"

"Yeah. But he has friends now."

"Phoebe..." Joey said feeling very uncomfortable. This was not how the evening was supposed to go. He wanted to end the conversation immediately. He wanted to move on.

"What do you know, Joey?" Phoebe asked.

"Nothing."

"Joey."

"Phoebe, I can't. I keep your secrets and I keep his. You both had sucky childhoods. I mean, really awful. Both of you have been through stuff that to me and Ross, Monica and Rachel seem just unbelievable...and the fact that you are both still alive is a testament to how strong you both are...but I can't. I'm sorry."

"Alright...okay. I got it," Phoebe said. "Okay...moving on. G-d, I can't believe you guys are going to London in a week."

"London, baby."

"You're not going to eat meat in London. Right?"

"No," Joey said, they had just discussed this and he had made his answer quite clear. He didn't want to leave the topic of Chandler to go back to what they were discussing. There had to be other topics of conversation.

"Joey...you better not eat meat."

"I won't eat meat."

"Thank you."

"But you know London cows are apparently far meaner than American cows and-"

"Do not eat meat, Joey."

"Dammit. I can still drink right?"

"Yes. I can't wait to drink again," Phoebe groaned.

"You will soon."

"Yeah...Still sad I'm going to miss Ross' wedding. I'm glad Rachel is going to be with me."

"I can't believe she's not coming to London," Joey said.

"Well, she's still in love with Ross."

"Well, yeah...duh," Joey said which made Phoebe laugh.

"I'm also glad that I get to stay in Monica and Rachel's apartment...their apartment not yours."

"Hey, here's a question. Chandler and I were trying to figure this out. How the hell did the three of you switch our apartments back in the length of time that it took for us to go to, watch and come home from a Knicks game? I mean, how did you guys carry all our furniture and stuff."

"Oh, Joey...you tell me what you know and I'll tell you what I know."

"That's not fair."

"Hey...my hoes come before my bros."

"Not sure if you used that right."

"Yes, I did."

Joey laughed as the two continued eating. His mind drifted to London and he kept thinking maybe he could do something fun there. He wondered if Tony had any London connections? That would be cool, hanging out with London mob guys. They probably spoke much better than Tony and his guys.

"Joey, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, what?" Joey asked, looking back at Phoebe.

"Would you ever have sex with a pregnant woman?"

"What?" Joey asked, wondering where the hell that had come from.

"Okay...the other day, I stole a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker."

"You're joking," Joey said. How did he not know this?

"No. I haven't had sex in a year. I'm not going to have sex for another five months. I'm going out of my mind and you're already doing this one favor by not eating meat...can you do me another favor and do me?"

Joey looked at her, trying to figure out if she was joking or not. Sure, he loved Phoebe. He thought the world of her and always felt that he had a special connection with her. A connection that went deeper than any he had with Monica or Rachel but was she asking him for a one night stand?

"Are you being serious?"

"Yes. I am. I'm serious. It's just...I mean, obviously, I can't ask Ross and Chandler, no...and well...I would love a casual sexual encounter and you know, when I think of casual sexual encounters-"

"I'm the first that comes to mind?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm flattered Pheebs," Joey said, not sure if he should be insulted or not.

"Come on, Joe."

"But you're pregnant...with triplets. What if I poke one of them in the head?"

"Well...try to aim for Chandler. You can poke Chandler in the head."

"That's an image I don't want," Joey said.

"You two are close."

"Not that close."

"Joey, come on. You're going to London. I'm making sure the chick and duck don't die while you're in London. I'm going to keep them away from Rachel-"

"Oh, you better. I don't trust her with them."

"Joey...hey, you had sex with Ursula. You can pretend I'm her...but you can't call me that or the chick and duck will die."

"I know. It is tempting. You and I have kissed before."

"Twice."

Joey looked at Phoebe who was biting her bottom lip. They continued eating in silence, Joey thinking about the idea of casual sex with Phoebe. He could have sex without it meaning anything and he knew Phoebe wasn't like Monica or Rachel. She too could separate emotion from sex and he didn't have to worry about getting her pregnant. Having sex with a pregnant woman? He had never done that. He kept thinking the idea over throughout dinner and decided maybe they could. After dinner, they took a cab back to the apartment and he was thankful that Chandler seemed to be asleep when they walked in around midnight although he did worry about Chandler waking up or hearing them through the wall. He and Phoebe walked into his bedroom and she lay on his bed. He closed the door and looked at her.

"We're really gonna do this?" Joey asked, lying next to her.

"Yeah, Joey….I mean, you and I….look I can separate sex from emotion. I mean, when I was held captive by the pimp, whenever he would rape me, I would totally separate it."

"Well, that's a turn on."

"Sorry. But come on, our group? Ross and Rachel? You don't think Monica and Chandler have already made out?"

"Oh, they have. I know they have and I know you've already made out with Ross and Chandler."

"Yeah, so it's time I complete the set."

Joey smiled as he leaned into kiss her. She kissed him back as they grasped each other's hands.

"But as soon as you say no….I mean, I don't want-I'm not like the pimp guy although-"

"Joe. I'm not gonna say no."

Joey nodded as the two kissed. It grew deeper between them and he was careful, a little afraid he'd poke the babies, but it was perfect. They knew each other so well and he knew what to do. He loved Phoebe, maybe not in love with her but Phoebe got him in a way no one else in the group did. When they were done, they lay side by side, holding hands.

"I have never had sex with a pregnant woman before," Joey said.

"Maybe one you made pregnant?"

"Don't say things like that."

"I hope it wasn't too gross."

"No, it was fine...good. You're good."

"So are you and see this is why I like you more than Chandler right now. He would never help me out by having sex with me."

"No, he probably wouldn't. But you do know he loves you, right? He really cares about you...he just...I think it makes him nervous to care about people."

"Why?"

"I think he's think we'll leave him," Joey said.

"I get that. But we're not leaving him."

"It doesn't matter. He still thinks it will happen eventually. He does a lot of talk...but yeah, don't believe it."

"Hmmmm. You know, Joe...I think you get a lot more than people give you credit for."

"I agree and you know you're my favorite girl."

"I know."

Phoebe smiled as she closed her eyes. Joey turned onto his side. He liked being near her. Just something about Phoebe made him so happy. He tried to sleep, but he couldn't do it. He looked back at her, she was staring at the ceiling.

"You gonna spend the night?" Joey asked.

"I probably have to...well, can I?"

"Of course. You know that means he will know."

"True."

"Pheebs...why couldn't we try us? You and me? We're the best two."

"Well, duh….but we can't date. I can't date you. I-I-look, Ross and Rachel have drama. Monica and Chandler have drama and I like what we have. I like just being with you."

"I like it to."

"You think they have mobs in London."

Joey laughed at Phoebe's sudden change in conversation topic.

"Of course," Joey said.

"Do you think Tony knows them."

"Naw, he's strictly here on the East Coast. When I was in Los Angeles, they didn't know who he was. This is where he's got his pull. Sometimes I miss it though. It was exciting and not so….crazed."

"This is different. Hey, even after I'm done being pregnant, we can still have benefits to our relationship."

"I'd like that….so tell me….how did a girl who was completely homeless go from living in a box to living with Monica? Was it really 'cause of Chandler's money?"

"Well, no. I mean, that helped with education so I could save money because I was working at a novelty shop at Port Authority. I was sleeping on a bus bench at the time. What that money was well….I didn't have to save up for school, I could save up for an apartment and I was supposed to live with my friend, Leslie but that fell through and I stumbled on an ad, kinda like you did. Mon knew I was homeless, she figured it out. Once when Monica and Rachel were like sixteen, they volunteered at a soup kitchen….well, Monica volunteered. Rachel just stood there and I went to that soup kitchen and Monica served me and she remembered me by my laugh."

"It is a memorable laugh. How did you get through it all, Pheebs? How are you not more fucked up? I mean that...well...I mean, how-"

"'Cause I had to. I didn't have an option. When you have to survive, then you just figure it out."

"You amaze me."

"Right back at you," Phoebe said, leaning into kiss him as they both got themselves settled in Joey's bed. He fell asleep that night, happy that Phoebe was near him and that despite all the other craziness, Phoebe would always remain his rock.

The next morning, both woke up still a little nervous. Yes, there was a thought, a discussion on how to leave without Chandler knowing but instead they decided to just open the door. Chandler stood at the counter, eating cereal and grinning wildly at both of them.

"You two have a nice night?" Chandler asked.

"Hey, I was just doing a favor for a friend," Joey said.

"You two slept together," Chandler said, giggling when Phoebe suddenly walked over to him, grabbed the spoon out of his hand and pointed it at him. She glared at him.

"Do not say a word. It was just a friend helping out another friend. I have not had sex in a year and I probably won't for another five months so shut up, jackass," Phoebe said as she dropped his spoon into his bowl of cereal, "and by the way, how do you like your name, Bing?"

Chandler's eyes widened as he looked at Joey. Joey cringed. He had so not wanted Phoebe to tell Chandler.

"You told her?" Chandler asked.

"I thought it was a funny story. Phoebe disagreed," Joey said.

"You lied to me...asshole," Phoebe said.

"I love you, Phoebe," Chandler said.

"Shut up," Phoebe said.

"Phoebe doesn't love me anymore," Chandler said.

"I know, she loves me more," Joey said.

"Is that true?" Chandler asked.

"Right now...earn it back. Have sex with Monica in London," Phoebe said.

"Oh, that's not gonna happen," Chandler said.

"Grow a pair and make a move," Phoebe said.

"Nothing is going to happen between me and Monica in London. I will bet you two hundred dollars...if by some miracle something happens between Monica and I in London, I will give you two hundred dollars," Chandler said.

"Wait, I want in on this," Joey said.

"Alright, fine...if Monica and I get together in London, which we won't...I will give you each two hundred bucks. But if I'm right and nothing happens, you both give me two hundred bucks," Chandler said, "now... let's talk about the fact that you two slept together last night."

Phoebe walked towards him and playfully smacked him as he giggled. Joey knew Chandler wouldn't tell and soon they were on their way to London for the wedding. Maybe he'd have more adventures there.

London would bring things he had not expected. He had not expected to hook up with a bridesmaid, or maybe he had. She was cute. He had not expected to be touring London by himself because Chandler became grumpy and he had not expected Rachel to show up. He definitely had not expected Ross to say Rachel's name while standing at the altar.

During the reception, Joey went in search of Monica and Chandler but couldn't find them. Chandler had been acting so bizarrely ever since they arrived in London. He had been angry when Joey wanted to sightsee and then there was that weird thing the night before where Chandler had wanted a condom for himself. Then that morning, Chandler snapped at him for some reason. It was just all very confusing and now this drama made everything even more confusing. After the wedding, Emily locked herself in the bathroom and he noticed Ross and Rachel in an intense conversation. He figured he should check in. He grabbed a crab cake before strolling over, figuring he probably should not have any drama exposure on an empty stomach. As he approached Rachel, Ross stomped off towards the bathroom door.

"Want a crab cake? These are awesome," Joey said, approaching her.

"Am I a horrible person?"

"I just asked if you wanted crab cake," Joey said.

"Alright, never mind," Rachel said.

Joey let out a sigh. He knew Rachel needed someone to listen and he still could not track down Monica or Chandler.

"Wait, Rach….look, I get why you came and I don't know why you and Ross couldn't make it work and I'm sorry it didn't but maybe this is good."

"What is good? What could possibly be good about this?"

"Now, you can move on," Joey said.

"I have moved on."

"Really?" Joey asked, knowing full well that was a lie. He knew Rachel couldn't lie to him. Monica, Rachel, Phoebe. He may not get women, may not understand them but those three, those three he always understood.

"I hate you," she whispered.

"You know I'm right."

"I hate it when you do this."

"Do what?"

"It was just easier to dismiss your opinions when I thought you were a pig."

"I hooked up with a bridesmaid last night," Joey said.

"What was her name?"

"Not a clue."

"I'm not over him. I-why am I here? Why am I here? Why….I can't...I just….he's married, Joey. He's actually married and…maybe I should call Joshua."

"No, don't do that."

"I won't. I'm a crazy person. I abandoned my best friend who is about ready to explode with triplets….and she's going to give them away….and I fly here to do what? Phoebe is all alone and….I'm...I'm a horrible person. I'm…" Rachel said as tears filled her eyes. Joey stuffed the remainder of his crab cake in his mouth and moved into envelope her in his arms "Were you eating meat?" Rachel asked looking up at him.

Okay, maybe he was the worst vegetarian ever but Rachel had no right to judge.

"You left her alone in New York," Joey grinned.

"Fine, you win."

Joey kept hugging her until she was ready to step back. He grabbed her hand and the two walked towards Ross who was pounding on the door, yelling for Emily.

"She ran out," Rachel said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Open the door. She ran out," Rachel said.

"She did not run out, she's not you," Ross said.

"Dude, not cool," Joey said. She looked up at Joey and mouthed a 'thanks" to him. He let go of her hand and gently wrapped his arm around her. He didn't think Rachel needed to be insulted. Ross opened the door and sure enough, Emily was gone. Ross walked off and Joey looked back at Rachel. He tried to hug her again but she shook her head.

"I need to...I need a moment."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Joey asked.

"No, no, thank you….that's sweet. You have your bridesmaid," Rachel said.

"You're more important, Rach."

"Thanks."

She stepped back and walked out of the reception. Joey watched her, wondering what to do now. He looked around and finally noticed Monica and Chandler in deep conversation and walked towards them.

"Hey, you two….so-"

"Joey, hey," Monica said.

"Joey, Joey's here," Chandler said.

"Yeah, what the hell?" Joey asked.

"I don't know, but I should go find out," Monica said.

"Me too," Chandler said.

They quickly walked off together. It was very strange, how they were acting. It was strange how Ross and Rachel were acting and he needed Phoebe. He needed to talk to someone, Kristi? Maybe he could talk to Kristi? He wasn't sure but it was all getting to be a little too much.


	33. Chapter 33

**May 1998-October 1998**

Back in the States, the first person Joey needed to see was Kristi. He also needed to see Phoebe. As soon as he got settled, he and Phoebe went to go visit Kristi and Ashley. He had invited Chandler but he said he was tired. As soon as they arrived at Kristi's apartment, Ashley seemed fascinated by Phoebe's big tummy, especially when Phoebe told her that there were three babies inside her. Phoebe and Ashley sat together on the couch and Phoebe played with her while Joey gave Kristi the lowdown on what had happened in London.

"Wait, so where is Rachel now and Phoebe, why didn't you call me? I would have come over," Kristi said.

"I don't have your number," Phoebe said.

"Baby kick," Ashley said, pointing at Phoebe's belly.

"That's Frank Junior Junior. Stop kicking," Phoebe said which made Ashley giggle.

"Why didn't you call Phoebe and give her my number when Rachel showed up in London?" Kristi asked.

"I didn't know she was in London until the last minute and I had a bridesmaid," Joey said.

"Then okay….where is Rachel?" Kristi asked.

"Greece and Ross is calling London. That marriage is off to a good start," Joey said.

"I can't believe he said Rachel's name and I can't believe….it's kinda crappy that she left you," Kristi said.

"I'm okay. I'm not mad at her, really. Besides she's making me an outfit to make up for it," Phoebe said.

"She's actually kinda good at that," Joey said.

"She really is. I mean, we keep telling her she needs to be a fashion designer but she keeps going 'oh, no...it's a hobby. It's not a fucking hobby, bitch,'" Phoebe said before remembering Ashley, "don't ever say what I just said."

"So he said Rachel's name and then Emily left….why did Emily go through with it?" Kristi asked.

"No one knows. I am so sick of this crap. I want…I want out," Joey said.

"You cannot leave me," Phoebe said.

"I'm not leaving you but I'm-I-it's just obnoxious," Joey said.

"Baby out. Me play," Ashley said.

"Not yet, sweetie. They aren't done being in my belly," Phoebe said.

"Play apter?" Ashley asked.

"Maybe," Phoebe said. "She's sweet, Kristi."

"Thanks. You know, it's amazing what you're doing Pheebs," Kristi said.

"Thanks but I'm almost at the end and I look at this one sitting next to me and it makes think about how hard it will be to give them up," Phoebe said as Ashley snuggled up next to her, concentrating on Phoebe's belly and gently touching it. She leaned her head up against her stomach, listening intently as if the babies were trying to tell her something. There was something heartbreakingly sweet about the image and Joey looked at Phoebe who seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"Well, you can play with Ashley anytime you want. She clearly loves you," Kristi said.

Joey looked at Phoebe who just looked sad. It made him sad, knowing how close she was to giving up those babies. He couldn't imagine how difficult it would be for her. He wished he could do something to make it better for her although he really wasn't quite sure what to do.

After visiting with Kristi and Ashley, Phoebe wanted to head home so Joey went back to the apartment. As he opened the door, he noticed Monica and Chandler suddenly jump away from each other. It was a little odd, he felt like he had just walked into something.

"Joey, it's Joey," Chandler said.

"Hey, Joe," Monica said.

"What were you two doing?" Joey asked.

"Nothing," they both said.

"Hmmm, have you heard from Rachel….or Ross?" Joey asked.

"You know, I should call Ross….and then Rachel...I should...yeah, okay," Monica said, walking towards the door, "oh, Chandler….I'm gonna do laundry a little later."

"I can join you, I have dirty clothes," Chandler said.

"I'll see you then," Monica said before walking out.

"What was that about?" Joey asked.

"I don't know," Chandler said, "so...Joe...how are you?"

"I'm alright. Hey, do I owe you money?" Joey asked.

"Oh G-d, yes," Chandler said.

"No, no, I meant for the bet we had before London….about you and Monica?"

"Oh, yeah...huh, don't worry about it."

"Why not?"

"I don't-I don't want your money."

"Did something happen with you and Mon?" Joey asked. Chandler was being really weird and he kept wondering if he wasn't telling Joey something.

"No, no..." Chandler said, looking at the floor before walking back towards his room. Joey stared at him. Something was going on. He followed Chandler to his bedroom, standing in the doorway of Chandler's room watching him as he grabbed a book from his shelf and fell onto his bed.

"You're lying. You are so lying."

"I'm not-"

"You can't lie to me."

Chandler let out a sigh as looked at Joey, "okay, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"If...if Ross and Rachel had kept their relationship secret, do you think it would be this dramatic? Do you think we'd be this consumed by it all the time?"

"I don't know," Joey said, truthfully.

"I don't want to confirm anything. I don't want to deny anything. Just...don't say anything to anyone and….just….I don't….I don't know what it is yet or what there is to say. Okay."

"Alright," Joey said, desperately wanting to push for more, "okay, so if-if I wanna set you up with a girl-"

"I-I don't want to be set up."

"Hmmm….okay...are you happy?" Joey asked.

"Very."

"Will you be giving me my money?" Joey asked.

"Get the hell out of my room," Chandler said.

"Yeah, you gotta rest up for that laundry...you dirty, dirty boy," Joey said, grinning at him.

"Get the fuck out of my room, dipshit," Chandler said.

Joey laughed as he walked out of the room and into his. He wouldn't push. He would just wait until it was fully confirmed. He thought maybe he could say something to Rachel, have her be on the look out but if nothing was confirmed maybe it was best that he didn't, besides when Rachel got back from Greece everything seemed to be centered around Ross' crumbling marriage and Phoebe's impending pregnancy. He was starting to get bored again and Chandler seemed to be suddenly unavailable for him to talk to.

Phoebe finally gave birth that October and it felt like she had been pregnant forever. He did not want to leave her alone, but a pain in his side forced him to leave. He had never experienced a pain quite like that to the point where he could not stand. He had been stabbed before, beaten yet this was ridiculous. It turned out, he was having kidney stones or more accurately passing them.

"I'm going to die," Joey groaned lying in his own separate hospital bed in another room.

"Haven't you been stabbed and stuff?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah. This is worse. The last time I was in the hospital, beaten and stabbed….that was a rough night," Joey said.

"This will be less painful and without the threat of jail time," Chandler said.

"Hey, how are you?" Monica asked as she walked into the room, Joey noticed her and Chandler quickly glancing at each other. He shook his head. It had been months since they had returned from London and Monica and Chandler were becoming weirder and weirder.

"He's fine, how's your nurse?" Chandler asked.

"He's fine," Monica said.

"You gonna go out with him?" Chandler asked.

"I might."

"I am going to die," Joey said. "I'd actually like someone to stab me right now. I swear to G-d, it would be less painful than listening to the two of you."

"Hey, Monica. Pheebs needs you," Rachel said, walking into the room.

"Great and that nurse guy you were gonna set me up with? Can't wait," Monica said, walking towards the door.

"Me neither. I hope you marry him and have sexy cooking nurse babies," Chandler said following Monica out of the room as Rachel walked towards Joey and fluffed his pillow a little, trying to help get him comfortable.

"Do you think our roommates are acting weird?" Joey asked.

"Our roommates are weird," Rachel said.

"Yeah….but...okay, more than normal level weird. I think there is something going on between them."

Rachel let out a sigh, "Yeah, I think so too. I tried to break Chandler. Especially after the kissing-"

"Which I am totally on board with. In fact, kiss me. Kiss me now."

"I'd rather have herpes," Rachel said.

"Well, if you kiss me, you never know what you might get."

"Shut up...anyway, but they're not confirming anything. When I had lunch with Chandler, I thought I might get something out of him but…."

"They're being weird and Ross is still calling London, I'm dying and Phoebe's about to give up three babies. Hmmm…." Joey groaned, everything just seemed painful.

"Oh, here's a story that will make you proud of me."

"What?"

"I didn't tell you who I did in Greece."

"Who? Oh and you call me a pig?"

"Um, I prefer slut and I still know his name."

"Are you gonna call him?"

"Of course not."

"What was his name?"

"Adonis."

"Wasn't he a Greek God?" Joey asked.

"Yep."

"Of course you did it with a guy named Adonis."

"All over that honeymoon suite," Rachel said.

"Nice. So Greece was okay?"

"No….that last night was good but….no."

"It's gonna get better, you know that right?"

"It's fine. Let's get you settled," Rachel said.

Rachel made sure he was comfortable and as Phoebe was giving birth to the triplets, he was passing kidney stones with help from Ross who stood by his side. While the physical pain was huge, he also felt guilty. He wanted to be with Phoebe. He hated not being near her, especially when he knew how much she was hurting.

After resting from passing the stones, he finally felt okay enough to join the rest of them in Phoebe's room after she had given birth. As he walked out of his room, he noticed Frank and Alice cooing over the three new babies and watched as Ross, Monica, Chandler and Rachel walked into Phoebe's room. Joey followed them in as they all gathered around her as she was crying. Seeing Phoebe cry always seemed to break him.

"You know, Pheebs...we're so proud of you," Monica said.

"Yeah...G-d, the strength you have...I just...I don't know," Rachel said as she gently stroked Phoebe's head.

"I didn't wanna give them up," Phoebe cried, "I mean, I knew it was gonna be hard but I didn't realize it would be this hard. I miss them."

"So...are you going to change Chandler's name because it's a girl?" Chandler asked.

"No," Phoebe shook her head, "Karma's a bitch, isn't it?"

"Because I lied and pretended I hated my name, you're gonna keep it?" Chandler asked.

"Yep."

"That's not fair," Chandler said.

"No, it's perfectly fair," Phoebe said.

Phoebe's irritation was apparent. He wished he hadn't told her that story.

"You know, Chandler is a pretty name for a girl," Rachel mused.

"Yes, yes it is," Phoebe said, glaring at Chandler. It started to feel tense in that room, very uncomfortable as Phoebe reached for Chandler's hand and squeezed it. "I still love you, Chandler Bing. Even though you're a liar...although, you aren't lying to me about anything else...are you?"

Chandler jerked his head up and suddenly looked at Phoebe and then at Monica. He quickly cleared his throat and stood up.

"I-I-I have to go to the bathroom," Chandler said.

"Me too," Monica said.

The two of them immediately sprinted out of the hospital room, leaving Phoebe, Joey, Rachel and Ross very confused.

"They're acting really weird," Rachel said. "Monica said no to going out with that hot nurse guy."

"They're hooking up," Phoebe said.

"No, they aren't...they would have told us," Rachel said.

Joey was confused by Rachel's reaction. He wasn't sure why she was playing dumb and he wondered if he should say something.

"Well...you guys were in London with them. Did anything happen?" Phoebe asked.

"I was little preoccupied," Ross said.

"I had a bridesmaid," Joey said.

"Something is going on," Phoebe said.

He kept focus on Phoebe and started to feel incredibly guilty. He knew how much Chandler cared for Phoebe and he hated knowing that he may have caused them to dislike each other. That night, he couldn't sleep. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Chandler had gone back to the hospital to surprise Phoebe and soon Joey felt he needed to be there as well. If anyone could make Phoebe happy again, it would be him...and Chandler.

He walked into the hospital room as Phoebe was lying in bed, sipping from a water bottle and Chandler was sitting next to her. He looked up at the television and noticed they were watching their movie, the Hot Dog movie.

"Joey? Why are you here?" Phoebe asked as she placed her water bottle on the nightstand.

"You needed me here," Joey said, sitting on the other side of Phoebe's bed. "And I don't want you to be mad at Chandler."

"I'm not. I'm not, I love you both," Phoebe said.

"Maybe you can ask that Chandler's middle name be Joey," Joey said.

"Or Joanna….or Josephine," Chandler said.

"Very good," Joey said.

"Chandler Josephine. Nice," Phoebe said.

"How are you feeling?" Joey asked.

"Hollow. It's over and I know what I signed up for and I knew this was gonna be the end but I want them back and...I mean, I've been through a lot. More than most and I try, I really do and I think I do a good job, right?"

"You do an amazing job," Joey asked.

"Yeah, I could never have survived your life. I don't know how you did it, Pheebs," Chandler said, "and that's the truth."

"I love you two," Phoebe said as both Chandler and Joey leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, Phoebe let out a giggle as the two boys exchanged a look. It was as if they could read each other's minds as Chandler poked Phoebe in the side. She let out a gasp as she looked at him when Joey did the same. "What are you two doing?" Chandler then tickled her and then Joey, both taking turns as she squealed, "no, stop," she began laughing as the two continued tickling her until laughter filled the room. Chandler and Joey both grinning as she kept trying to smack their hands away but failing although Joey felt he had very much succeeded. He had made Phoebe smile again.

He was happy as well, at least moderately. He had gotten a job on the PBS telethon. He had hoped to be one of the hosts but he was taking pledges. It was a great excuse to get out of the house and get away from any drama. Although, it seemed to follow him wherever he went.

"PBS?" Joey asked, picking up the phone.

"Okay, it's Tony…."

"Tony, I'm not doing your dirty work on a PBS telethon," Joey said, looking up and letting out a sigh when he noticed the camera was still not on him.

"What? Okay, there's a guy sitting to your left. He owes me fifteen grand. You bring him to me and-"

"I am not doing this."

"He's on camera, you're not," Tony said.

Joey opened his mouth and looked to the side at the tall guy sitting next to him in jeans and a polo shirt. He looked way too pretty and it was tempting. I mean, Joey was in a tux. This guy looked like he stepped out of J. Crew catalogue.

"Well….no, I'm not-dude, do you owe someone fifteen grand?" Joey asked the pretty boy sitting next to him. The guy glared at him and turned back to the phone.

"Wow, kid….you've become the Village Idiot," Tony said. "Look, there's a car outside. Send him to me."

"This is a PBS telethon. Donations. Give me….donate and I'll send him your way," Joey said, grinning. "If we're gonna do this, you're gonna play my way."

"Fine dipshit. How much do I donate? How about the $50,000 grand in total that I had to get you out prison? Four times."

"Yeah, that's a good amount. You want me to get some camera time, don't you?"

"I'm not sure if I should be proud or shoot you in the balls?"

"So?"

"Fuck," Tony said.

Joey grinned from ear to ear as he took down the pledge and hung up, turning to the model next him.

"Ummmm, dude. Someone is waiting for you outside?" Joey asked.

"Who?" Pretty Boy asked.

"I don't know. Someone said that they needed to talk to you."

"I'm on camera," Pretty Boy said.

"I don't know," Joey said when his phone rang again. "PBS."

"So is he coming out?" Tony asked.

"Doesn't seem likely. Have your guys wait until he comes out and leave me out of it and-oh, oh, look…..I'm gonna be on camera," Joey grinned, hanging up as the host walked over towards him and with the camera on him, congratulated him for the major donation. He kinda loved being away from the rest of the group, this was a nice break because the drama was becoming more and more intense. After the telethon, he didn't particularly want to go home so he met up with Tony and his buddies at Sparks.

"So thanks for helping me today, kid," Tony said as they ate steak and drank martinis. He was still in his tux. He kinda liked it even if a duck had vomited on it weeks earlier.

"I didn't help."

"You brought him to me, just like old times," Tony said.

"I don't want to know what happened. Although, is it bad that I missed it."

"Missed what?"

"Missed helping you with waste management. I mean, I love where I am now Tony but ever since I got back from London, I'm bored. I mean, Ross said the wrong name at the wedding and now Emily is pissed and won't even come to New York but is putting all these demands on him like he has to move and he can't see us or Rachel or….I miss it."

"No, you don't."

"I don't?"

"You like now too much. Waste management wasn't a good fit."

"I brought you someone today."

"He's not dead."

"No?"

"Just needed to rough him up. He owed some money from a poker game."

"Oh."

"I don't want you back at waste management," Tony said, "you're an actor. You got some talent kid. I watched you today. You were the sharpest asshole on that telethon. You don't want be working for me. You got an Oscar to get."

"You proud of me, Ton?"

"Yeah, don't make a thing."

"You are….you are proud of me?"

"I don't think you're a dipshit."

"So nice."

Joey grinned, taking a bite of his steak. It felt good. Hearing Tony Soprano say that simply felt good. No, he would never be a mobster but hearing Tony saying that he really was proud meant everything. When he made it home, he noticed Chandler's closed door and walked into his room, closing it behind him and falling onto his bed. Through the wall, he let out a laugh as he heard a voice that sounded suspiciously like Monica's but he'd let them have their moment. If they wanted to be secretive, they could be. Tony was proud of him and he didn't care, he leaned over to grab his phone, remembering another conversation he had had with Phoebe that day. He had argued with her over the phone and he was pretty sure he had proven her wrong and himself right.

"So, there are no selfless good deeds?" Joey asked as soon as Phoebe picked up.

"You suck. I hate this. I don't wanna live in a world where you're right."

"So Tony donated like fifty grand if I sent the J. Crew pretty boy model who was sitting next to me over to him. I got the largest donation and camera time."

"Oh my G-d. You are a horrible human being."

"Oh, he's not dead. Just roughed up at least that's what I was told."

"Fine, congrats on being right but me having babies for my brother….don't say that was selfish. That's mean."

"I'm sorry. Guess what, Tony said he was proud of me."

"Awww, a mobster is proud of you. Mazel Tov."

"What did I miss here?" Joey asked.

"Emily told Ross she would finally come out here if he never spoke to Rachel again. So it's Emily or us and…."

"Seriously?"

"Can you order a hit on Emily?"

"No. What are you? Rachel? I don't think you guys understand how this works."

"This marriage is not gonna end well."

"Was there a point where it was going well?" Joey asked.

"Good point," Phoebe laughed as they continued talking. He could still hear Monica but would remain in his room. He would not bust in there. There was something strangely different about the noises he heard through the wall. He wasn't quite sure but Chandler seemed actually happy and if being secretive would keep that going, then he would certainly do that and only confirm it when it was necessary and when both Chandler and Monica suddenly had conventions in Atlantic City the next weekend, he didn't even question it. He would wait until the time was right to perfectly confirm it and that weekend that they were both in Atlantic City, he invited Phoebe to keep him company. He and Phoebe had added a whole new benefits part to their relationship. They would have sex and then lay side by side talking about the drama of the group or Monica and Chandler.

"So they're both in Atlantic City this weekend?" Phoebe asked as she lay next to him.

"Yeah."

It was dark in his room, but he grabbed her hand, kissing it as he held on to her. This was truly the best part of his friendship with her. Those moments when they were away from the other four and it was just the two of them.

"Doesn't that seem odd?" Phoebe asked.

"No...there are cooking things and accounting things."

"Accounting things?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah. Chandler's an accountant."

"No, he's not."

"Oh. Then what the hell is he?"

"An Executive specializing in Data Processing and Statistical Analysis. You worked in his office too."

"Yeah, but I wasn't paying attention," Joey said which was a statement that held so much truth. Yes, Chandler had tried to explain it at the beach but he hadn't listened. He had even worked at Chandler's office but he could never remember the exact title.

"Let's go check his room. Maybe there are clues in there...what he and Monica are actually doing," Phoebe said.

"No. I don't like to snoop in his room anymore. Last time I did that, I discovered a pharmacy under his bed and learned my roommate-slash-best friend who is more like a brother than a friend was also closeted drug addict," Joey mused.

"Well, he's not on drugs now. Is he?"

"I don't wanna take that chance. I told him once that if I find drugs in his room again, I'll punch him in the head and I'm pretty sure he believes me."

"We can't go into Monica and Rachel's. Rachel asked me to spend the night to keep her company and I told her I couldn't. She's gonna wonder why I'm there."

"I'm not snooping. I don't want...no."

"Okay, what if I go in first, look under his bed...if there are no drugs, will you help me?"

Joey let out a sigh, "alright...if you look and you find no drugs, I will help."

Phoebe nodded and got up, grabbing her shirt and putting it on. She walked out of Joey's room and into Chandler's. Joey had contemplated joining her but he really had not snooped in Chandler's room since the time they got back from the cabin in Vermont and he checked to make sure all the drugs were gone. He was pretty sure Chandler was not on drugs but he did not want to take that chance. Soon Phoebe returned, standing in Joey's doorway. He sat up and looked at her.

"Just porn and cigarettes under his bed," Phoebe grinned.

"Really?"

"No drugs anywhere."

"Huh...wow...I'm proud of him," Joey mused.

"Me too. It's been twenty months."

"Good for him. We should do something."

"Yeah...he kept his promise," Phoebe said as she and Joey exchanged looks. Both took a moment to let that sink in. He meant so much to both of them, Chandler did. It had killed them both when he was struggling and the knowledge that he was actually okay made both of them prouder of him than they had been in awhile. That moment though was short lived, "Okay, now let's go see if he's banging Monica," Phoebe said.

"Sure."

Joey got up and followed Phoebe out of the room. They walked into Chandler's room to look. They wanted to find a clue, a hint of anything that Monica and Chandler were hooking up, but unfortunately they could not find a thing. There was not one trace of any hook up which left both of them feeling a little frustrated. They walked back into Joey's room and crawled back into bed, Joey gently held her as she kissed him.

"So that was bittersweet," Phoebe said.

"I know. They are doing it. I just need it confirmed. I need some sort of moment where I can just be like, give me my money bitch."

"G-d, see Joey….this is why you and I cannot date. We got Monica and Chandler, Ross and Rachel. What you and I have is so much better."

"Definitely. You spending the night?"

"Of course," Phoebe said as they kept kissing and soon forgot about the other four. Maybe they'd deal with Chandler and Monica later and Joey would figure out a way to have it confirmed. He would have to pay closer attention. He wanted a moment, his moment where he had to call it out.


	34. Chapter 34

**October 1998-November 1998**

When they got back from Atlantic City, Monica and Chandler seemed to be arguing. They were pissed at each other which seemed bizarre although maybe not. If they had gone away for a weekend, they had to have shared a room and Joey began to wonder….Chandler's personality and Monica's? One room, the whole weekend? There are many ways that could have gone, well would not be his first guess.

"So….Ross told me. Emily doesn't want him near me?" Rachel asked. "I mean….I-"

Rachel had just discovered Emily's demand that Ross no longer see her and was discussing this issue while sitting in the big chair at Central Perk while Joey, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica were trying to calm her down. Joey was also concentrating on Chandler and Monica at the same time. He was going back and forth, trying to pick up clues while trying to figure out ways to keep Rachel from freaking out more.

"Rach-" Phoebe tried.

"I'm gonna have to leave the group. I'm gonna be Kip," Rachel said.

"You are not going to be Kip," Phoebe said.

Joey knew bits and pieces about Kip. He had dated Monica despite knowing that Chandler liked her. Chandler had also told him that Kip was the one who had shit on Space Mountain. He cringed slightly remembering having to clean that up. He didn't even know Kip but he hated him because of that.

"Yeah, but...Chandler, you told me you flew a toy plane at Kip's head," Rachel said

"I'm not going to do that to you. Rachel, it's different now. I swear," Chandler said. "Besides...Joey broke my plane. He flew it into a tree."

"Dude, get over it," Joey argued.

"No," Chandler said, giving Joey a look.

They had been playing. He had accidentally flown the plane into a tree but Chandler would not let it go.

"Look, Rach...we're older now. We did handle that all wrong. We were young and...he dumped Monica on New Year's Eve and-" Phoebe said.

"Why did Kip get phased out in the first place? Is was because Monica and Kip broke up, right?" Rachel asked, cutting Phoebe off.

"Tell her," Monica said, looking at Chandler.

"You can't tell me what to do," Chandler said.

"Yes, I can," Monica said.

"What is wrong with you two?" Phoebe asked.

"Nothing," both said together.

Joey kept looking at them. They had to have gone together and Monica had to have driven him crazy. There was no other explanation for this fighting, but still it wasn't quite enough.

"Wait...tell me what?" Rachel asked.

"I told Kip that...that I liked Monica. I'm not fond of her now-" Chandler said.

"Bite me," Monica said.

"Yeah, I would but you'd probably make me do it ten times before I got it right," Chandler said.

"Guys...what-" Joey said.

"Nothing," the two said again.

"Chandler," Rachel said.

"Okay, I told Kip that I liked Monica and then Kip started to date her. I was kinda mad at Kip. He wasn't phased out just because Monica and Kip broke up."

"Yeah, 'cause G-d knows I wish I had that kind of power...you know, to have all my friends phase out whoever pisses me off," Monica said.

"Can we get back to me, please?" Rachel asked.

"Look, okay...Rach, I phased out Kip because I was never close with him. I was closer with Chandler and Monica so I automatically sided with them. I'm closer to you than Ross. You're not getting phased out," Phoebe said.

"It's just...ugh, I hate this," Rachel said. "I'm gonna go. I have to...this is awful."

"Rach," Phoebe said.

"No, I have to go shopping," Rachel said, getting up and walking out of Central Perk, leaving Joey, Phoebe, Monica and Chandler alone.

"What is going on with you two?" Phoebe asked.

"Nothing," both Chandler and Monica said together.

"Poor, Ross though...I couldn't imagine giving up any of you," Phoebe mused.

"I could," Monica said, looking straight at Chandler.

"Great. I'm gonna get coffee," Chandler said, getting up, when Joey stopped him. He wanted to do something nice for Chandler.

"Wait, man...it's on me. My treat," Joey said.

"Dude...are you sick?" Chandler asked, very worried.

"No, no...just...I remembered...it's been twenty months, right?" Joey asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, it has. You remembered?" Chandler said.

"Of course," Joey said, patting Chandler on the back as they walked towards the counter and when they were out of ear shot of Monica and Phoebe, he leaned in and whispered, "By the way, you owe me two hundred dollars."

"What?"

"Come on."

"Nothing."

"Hmmmm, okay," Joey said as he ordered coffee. A few hours later, however, it just became too much. They were all hanging out in Monica and Rachel's apartment, without Ross. Monica casually mentioned to Phoebe that she saw Donald Trump waiting for an elevator and asking Rachel if she could borrow an eyelash curler. He knew exactly what was happening, that was his moment. His eyes bugged out, his mouth dropped and Chandler seemed to catch it, dragging him into Monica's room with Monica walking in and shutting the door behind her.

"Okay, okay-" Monica said.

"Alright, confirm it bitches," Joey said.

"Excuse me?" Monica asked.

"I meant, Chandler," Joey said.

"Okay, Joey…." Monica said.

"What do you need to know and you cannot say a word," Chandler said.

"I haven't yet. Okay, it started in London?" Joey said.

"Yes," Monica said.

"Yeah," Chandler said.

"So you've been hiding it for five months?" Joey asked.

"Look, we didn't want to make it a thing. We wanted to see what it was about but please don't say a word? Please," Monica said.

"Come on, Joey," Chandler said.

"Rachel probably knows," Joey said.

"I know but I haven't confirmed anything to her either," Monica said.

"Mon, can I talk to Joey privately?" Chandler asked.

"Sure okay, look, Rachel and Phoebe are out there. I'll do some damage control but….I will bring you lasagna? Whatever food you want, I will make it," Monica said.

"Alright, I'll give you a menu," Joey said as Monica walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Joey stared at Chandler who kept looking at the floor.

"It happened in London and I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I just…."

"You owe me money."

"I know."

"You happy?"

Chandler sat next to Joey on the bed. He nodded but still could not look at Joey.

"I'm terrified. I mean, it's Monica. I don't want to screw this up."

"I know."

"By the way, did you and Phoebe snoop in my room while we were in Atlantic City?"

"We thought you might be on drugs," Joey said. "Well, we actually wanted to look for proof that you two were banging each other."

"Oh...please don't let me screw this up."

"I won't….although, if this goes well, what happens to Jandler?"

"Chanoey forever."

"Love you, man. I'm proud of you. Twenty months, got a girlfriend that's hotter than you. Impressive and I will also discuss Atlantic City with her," Joey said.

"Oh, G-d. Seriously, if it would have been legal, I would have killed her."

Joey laughed as the two boys hugged. He really couldn't be mad at Chandler and he would keep it secret. He had no choice.

"So, how was Trump?" Joey asked.

"Ehhh, although Mon and I overheard him tell the guy he was with that he'd want to run for president one day."

"Oh, that would be terrifying," Joey said.

"I know, right? It would never happen, though," Chandler said as they got up to rejoin the girls. Monica looked up at Chandler and Joey. Joey nodded, this was a huge secret and that night he could still hear them through the wall. He didn't want to interrupt them though and did want to talk to someone so he figured he'd call Kristi. It was the only person who wouldn't say a word.

"They finally hooked up?" Kristi asked.

"Yep, they're in the next room. They've been hiding it for five months. Not well. They went to Atlantic City together. They saw Trump."

"He seems like he'd be a terrifying human being."

"Apparently, they overheard him say that he wants to run for president one day."

"Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah, that'll never happen."

"I know, right?"

"So are you okay with Chandler and Monica dating?" Kristi asked.

"Yeah, yeah...I...it's just...I mean, and I know it sounds weird but...what if they get married? What if it changes me and him?"

"It won't Joey."

"We've been inseparable for so long and-and I do-them together-it's just I don't want him and I to change and I think this will change it."

"Joey."

"I probably sound like a jealous girlfriend."

"No, you sound like a guy who's worried he's gonna lose his best friend. You're not."

"I hope not," Joey said, looking at the wall. He hated feeling this way. He wasn't dating Chandler and things would have to change eventually. He loved that Monica and Chandler were together. He loved that they had both finally figured it out but he couldn't help this feeling, this feeling that nothing would ever quite be the same again.

A few days later, he was watching as Monica was stocking his fridge with plenty of trays of lasagna and plates of chocolate cakes to appease him. As she was making sure Chandler and Joey's fridge was good and stocked, Joey sat and watched her closely.

"Alright, Joe…..you should have enough food to last you at least a week," Monica mused.

"Thank you. So Atlantic City blew?" Joey asked, grinning at her from his chair. He would have to discuss Atlantic City.

"What did he tell you?" Monica asked.

"That had it been legal, he would have killed you," Joey said which made Monica laugh.

"Nice."

"Well, relax."

"But if the room is dirty-"

"How dirty was it?"

"There was a lipstick stain on the glass."

"Get a new glass. Look, I'm gonna be very honest and you know you're like a sister to me but at times, it would be best if you calmed the eff down."

"I'm feeding you, jackass," Monica said.

"I'm just saying…..look Chandler and I have done really well as roommates, right. Basically, you gotta pick your battles. What's more important? A clean room or a good relationship?"

"Sometimes you say very smart things, Joe," Monica said after seemingly thinking it over.

"I have my moments."

Monica laughed as she continued stocking his fridge as Joey watched. When she was done, she walked over and sat next to him. She could not stop beaming.

"So you happy?" Joey asked.

"Yeah...oh and okay...I know I sound very high school but do you think he likes me?" Monica asked.

"I think he's crazy about you," Joey said.

"I gave in. I know there are issues and he's got problems and I've got problems but...there's no one else on Earth that makes me feel the way that he does. When he's healthy and happy...he's amazing."

"Yeah, I know," Joey said.

"And Joey….you know, I'm not one of those girlfriends that doesn't let her boyfriend hang out with his best friends. I know we joke about you two a lot but don't think for a second that I don't know how much you two mean to each other. Your friendship with him will remain unchanged."

"Mon-"

"I'm being serious. I do not want to do anything to mess up your friendship because I know what it means to both of you."

That meant everything to him, Monica saying that to him. The one thing he did not want was for Jandler to part ways.

"Thank you. So even if you like get married, he can still come over and play video games and watch porn and Baywatch with me?"

"Of course."

"Good….and for you, remember what I told you?"

"What?" Monica asked.

"When you guys were in Atlantic City, Phoebe and I snooped in his room. No drugs. Just cigarettes and porn."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Hate the cigarettes but okay," Monica said.

"You're not doing this alone. He loves us more than his addiction."

"I think you're right," Monica said.

"Hey, guys," Chandler said walking into the apartment. Monica gently squeezed Joey's knee as she got up and walked towards Chandler, kissing him before looking back.

"So tonight? Dinner at Rachel and I's? We're gonna celebrate Chandler's sobriety and also Ross is coming...so we can cheer him up," Monica said.

"Wait, is that allowed?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, won't Emily be pissed?" Chandler asked.

"I don't give a shit. Emily can go fuck herself," Monica said as she walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Joey and Chandler exchanged a look, it was very rare that they heard Monica cuss someone out but it seemed that Monica had reached her breaking point with Emily.

"Video games?" Chandler asked, walking over to the television and getting the games set up before returning to one of the chairs. Joey grabbed a controller and handed it to Chandler as they began to play. About five minutes in, Chandler pressed pause and looked at Joey.

"What?" Joey asked, confused.

"You know, I just want you to know….whatever happens between me and Monica, that's not changing anything between you and me."

"I know."

"'Cause we're brothers."

"Always. Now let's play so I can kill you," Joey said.

Chandler laughed as he pressed play and the games continued. He hoped though nothing would change. but there was always that thought, that worry that things would be different.

The dinner was very low key. Monica making macaroni and cheese and fajitas, favorite foods for Chandler and Ross respectively. Rachel had gone shopping and on a dinner date with the guy who lived downstairs and Ross arrived late, just as Phoebe, Chandler and Joey were sitting on the couch playing "throwing socks in a bucket". The game was as simple as it sounded.

"Congrats, man. Twenty months," Ross said as he patted Chandler on the shoulder.

"Thanks. It's not a big deal though," Chandler said.

"Yeah, it is….and I'm sorry I forgot," Ross said.

"It's okay, you've got a lot on your mind."

"Still…." Ross said.

"Wanna play?" Joey asked, handing Ross a ball of socks. Ross nodded as he threw the socks into the bucket as Joey and Chandler decided to randomly begin to tickle Phoebe who immediately broke into laughter.

"Hey, guys," Rachel said as she walked in and placed her shopping bags on the table. She and Ross exchanged a look as Monica told her she was making dinner. Joey, Chandler and Phoebe all wanted Rachel to stay. It didn't seem fair, Emily had no right to change stuff like this.

"Emily would be furious if she knew I was here," Rachel said.

"I'll take the fall for it," Chandler said. "It's partially a dinner for me."

"You?" Rachel asked.

"He's been clean for twenty months, we all forgot," Phoebe said.

"Oh my G-d," Rachel said, covering her mouth. "I forgot too. Chandler, I'm so proud of you. I wish I had bought you something. Do you like capri pants?"

"Shockingly enough... no, seriously, Rachel, I want you here. If Emily finds out then I will explain it to her," Chandler said.

Rachel let out a sigh and nodded. She walked towards Chandler and gave him a hug. The good times did not last though as the phone soon rang and it was Emily. They had tried to play it off that Rachel wasn't with them but Ross gave up and told Emily that Rachel was with them. Emily did not sound too pleased.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Chandler asked after Ross had taken Emily off speaker phone to talk to her.

"No, man. I'm not-this isn't your battle. You already fought yours. Twenty months ago. This should be your night and I don't want you taking the fall for this," Ross said as he grabbed the phone and walked out onto the balcony. The rest of the group watched him closely and soon he returned, looking even more depressed.

"My marriage is over," Ross said, his voice barely above a whisper as Monica hugged him and led him to the table. "I gave everything up. I have nothing. I sold my things. I moved out. I have…"

"At least you got us?" Joey said, making it sound more like a question.

"No, I've always wanted you," Ross said.

"Why didn't you let me take the fall?" Chandler asked.

"'Cause nothing would have been enough. I couldn't...two divorces. I just...all I wanted was someone. You know and thought this could be it. Yeah, there were issues but-"

"You'll find someone, Ross. You will. Just take a break," Monica said.

"You want me to get Die Hard?" Chandler asked.

"I'll make the smoothies," Monica said.

They began to set up for a night of helping Ross feel better. Even though Joey hated was Emily was doing, he still felt bad. He felt bad Ross was hurting and did wish there was a way to fix everything. He wasn't entirely sure how.


	35. Chapter 35

**November 1998-December 1998**

Joey had also not forgotten about his money. Sure, he owed Chandler far more than two hundred bucks but it didn't matter. If he was gonna keep this quite, he wanted to make some money off of it. That would make the change easier. It had been a few days. A lot had happened but the one thing that hadn't happened was the exchange of money. He was owed money and he wanted to collect.

"Haven't I given you enough money?" Chandler asked as Joey walked into the apartment, palm outstretched not saying a word.

"You owe me two hundred bucks."

"Why can't I subtract that from the money you owe me?" Chandler asked.

"I want my money, bitch."

Chandler laughed as he walked over to the counter and opened one of the drawers pulling out his checkbook. Slamming the checkbook down on the counter, he looked at Joey and shook his head.

"You are the most expensive friend I have ever had," Chandler said.

"But...we're not just friends, we're family. You're my brother and the bond between brothers is far stronger, don't you think?" Joey asked, giving him a smile and a sad look. He loved saying stuff like that. Chandler fell for it every single time.

"Here you go, asshole...and you can't say crap like that for another year," Chandler said as he handed the check to Joey.

"Fine," Joey said grinning as he looked at the check. His eyebrows suddenly raised when he noticed the line where Chandler wrote what the check was for. On the line, he had written, ' _gay sex-thanks for a great time_ '. He looked back at Chandler who was grinning wildly.

"What? Something wrong?" Chandler asked.

"No."

"You gonna cash that check?" Chandler asked.

"Maybe later," Joey said.

"I think you should cash it now," Chandler.

"I don't have too."

"I think you should...I mean, we are family and as brothers, it's only fair that if someone gives you a check, you cash it," Chandler said, grinning.

"Alright, fine...I'll cash it. Then I'll buy you a dildo," Joey said, grabbing his jacket and walking out the door, Chandler following closely behind.

"No need...I'll just borrow yours," Chandler said, before stopping, "do you think we're too close."

"Probably just a little," Joey said as they walked out. Joey did end up cashing the check and instead of buying sex toys for Chandler, instead they headed to Central Perk for coffee.

"So you and Mon are really gonna keep this secret?" Joey asked.

"Yeah."

"How? 'Cause to be honest, you two suck at keeping it secret."

"I agree but...everyone seems to be buying it. We want it to just...keep it between us. I'm enjoying just getting to know her."

"So how was Atlantic City? Didn't seem like a good time," Joey said. He knew that Chandler had wanted to strangle her but he wanted more details, details Chandler hadn't given.

"I-I was ready to kill her," Chandler said, "but I like her, Joe. I've always liked her. More than Lizzie or Janice...or even Kathy. Monica is...well, crazy...but she's just...yeah I like her a lot.

"I know."

"Hi," Ross walked into the Central Perk, his "hi" sounding like he was carrying the weight of the world.

"Wow...that's a loaded hi," Chandler said.

"I'm homeless. Remember how I was living in Emily's cousin's place...he kicked me out. Apparently, because we're no longer family," Ross said, collapsing into a chair.

"You should've let me take the fall...I said I would tell Emily-" Chandler said.

"No, no...I'm not...no...and it was ridiculous. Rachel is my best friend. But...I have no home," Ross said.

"You can stay with us until you get back on your feet," Joey offered before looking at Chandler. "Is that alright?"

Joey wasn't sure he should have offered, knowing it would probably make it even more difficult for Chandler and Monica to sneak around but he just felt there was not another choice.

"Sure, yeah...of course," Chandler said. Ross immediately thanked them and headed off to pack his stuff, leaving Chandler and Joey alone.

"Should I have not done that?" Joey asked.

"No, no...he needs a place to stay and...Mon and I will figure something out."

"What do you think Ross will do when he finds out about you banging his sister?"

"Classy and I prefer not to think about that."

"Hey, I realized something...you banged my sister, you're banging Ross' sister-"

"It's not...banging."

"It's still weird."

It was although, not quite as weird as living with Ross. Joey had always been good with roommates. Shane, the Swedish flight attendants, couch surfing. He had been fine living with Christopher until that whole Brian incident but he was a fine roommate. He grew up in a huge family, he was fine with no space but Ross was driving him crazy. He knew Chandler was being driven crazy by Ross as well. They had even tried to get Ross to move into a tiny apartment but backed out at the last moment. He knew Chandler was being extra careful sneaking back into the apartment each night and there were times when Joey would sneak into Chandler's room and put pillows and stuff under the covers to make it look like Chandler was sleeping. It was getting to be too much though.

"Remember in college when I told you that I would take a bat to the humidifier if you didn't get rid of it?" Chandler asked, sitting in his chair. Joey was plopped in his chair and Ross was sitting on one of the stools. The three were discussing the living arrangements about a week or so into their time as roommates.

"It's a much better humidifier," Ross said.

"I have a much better bat," Chandler grinned.

"You wouldn't-"

Chandler didn't wait for Ross to finish. Joey watched as Chandler walked into his room and walked out carrying a bat. Ross' eyes widened.

"You really wanna try me?" Chandler asked.

"Alright, you win. I'll turn it off," Ross said, unplugging the humidifier and returning to his stool. Chandler walked back to his chair, still clutching his bat.

"How did you two ever survive college together?" Joey asked, he really didn't get it. Chandler was a pretty easy guy to live with. Far easier than Shane or Christopher or anyone he had ever lived with. Ross was the exact opposite.

"I was his designated driver," Ross said.

"You know, I saved your ass many times," Chandler said.

"Hardly enough."

"Hey...I drove you cross country...right?"

"With Kip and Gandalf making fun of me about how I couldn't drink the entire way, right?" Ross asked.

"Oh, wait...Chan, you told me about that? The Disneyland trip," Joey said, he could almost smell that memory. Cleaning up Kip's shit, he remembered quitting. It was disgusting. He hated Kip.

"You told him?" Ross asked.

"Yes, but-" Chandler said.

"I was working at Disney when you were there. I quit after I had to clean up the shit on Space Mountain," Joey said.

"You told him I did that?" Ross said, his eyes widening. Chandler bit his lip.

"What?" Joey asked. It was Ross? He had cleaned up Ross' shit? He kept thinking back to that day. The tall kid who refused to move? That was Ross?

"No, Ross. I said that Kip had done that," Chandler said, enunciating every word. Ross' face began to turn bright red.

"Oh, gross...that was you?" Joey asked.

"No, no...it wasn't...it-"

"Oh, that's sick. Maybe you should move into that tiny apartment."

"I-I-you were there?" Ross asked.

"I found out when Joey had moved in. Remember how I tried to hook up with Snow White and she ended up walking off with some other guy. Joey was the other guy," Chandler said.

"I was trying my luck in California. But the day I had to clean up your shit, I moved back here to the apartment with Shane and the Swedish Flight Attendants," Joey said, giving the short version.

"I had said Kip had done it because he was going to meet you," Chandler said.

"Thanks...okay, but this...you can't tell the girls," Ross said.

"Only if I can break the humidifier," Joey said. Ross let out a sigh and nodded. Chandler handed Joey his bat. Joey got up and began smashing the humidifier to pieces. It was almost symbolic, the breaking of the humidifier was almost like starting anew...sorta. Joey kept smashing it until he heard Chandler telling him to stop.

"Dude, I think it's dead," Chandler said.

"Just wanted to make sure," Joey said. He stopped beating the humidifier, dropped the bat and headed into the bathroom before looking at Ross with a grin, "hey, Ross….next time, do it in here."

"Shut up, asshole," Ross said which made Joey laugh before disappearing into the bathroom. Maybe things would improve, it couldn't get much worse and living in a small space, he had done it before and he would do it again.

More secrets were revealed that Thanksgiving. He had never really known too much about Monica, Rachel and Ross' time when they were growing up. He didn't know too much about Chandler's addiction but it had happened after Thanksgiving. Chandler had called Monica fat and it led to a chain of events that ended up with Chandler's toe being cut off and developing an addiction to painkillers, Monica blaming herself and Rachel in hysterics. That night, the boys retreated to their apartment complete with left overs care of Monica and Joey filled with questions. He felt he needed to know more.

"So you called Mon fat?" Joey asked as they sat at the counter, eating turkey. Chandler was eating mac and cheese and Ross was eating stuffing.

"Yeah. First Thanksgiving I met her….I didn't know she had heard," Chandler said.

"And then she lost weight?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Ross said, "our mom was scared to death. She knew what Monica was doing and how Mon was losing weight and….look, guys, Chandler you know this but if you notice her starting to get a little too thin. Step in. I will too, she doesn't really-"

"She hasn't done it in awhile The last time I caught her doing it was when I got back from Yemen but I think between the three of us…." Chandler said, motioning with his fork.

"I know. I just wanna make sure. It worries me. She's good at hiding it….kinda like you, Chandler," Ross said.

"I'm not on any drugs."

"He's not, I've already looked in his room but um okay, so she lost weight and then she cut off your toe and then you developed a drug addiction?" Joey asked.

"Yeah. Well, okay...you already know. I was assaulted by one of my mom's boyfriends' and I also tried an LSD tablet and well, that semester after my toe got cut off, Ross, Lizzie and Monica stayed with me and I was kinda spiraling. Rachel didn't. I don't think she really knew how bad it was and we weren't really friends, to be honest, I doubt I would've wanted her there anyway. Look, it's not Monica's fault and it….it's just me. Lizzie told Monica it was her fault I got hooked on drugs."

"I think Lizzie said that because she was cracking under the pressure of dating you," Ross said.

"Apparently," Chandler said.

"G-d, what a day. You know what, I'm gonna go to the bathroom before we start with Die Hard." Ross said, getting up to disappear into the restroom.

"You alright, dude?" Joey asked.

"I told her I loved her," Chandler said.

"You did?" Joey asked, taken aback by that.

"Yeah. I tried to take it back."

"Okay."

"But I said it. She said she loved me back."

"Nice."

"I'm a little scared."

"You got this, buddy."

"Just….keep me from going over the edge."

"I always do."

"Die Hard," Chandler said.

"Die Hard," Joey said.

Ross soon returned and Die Hard began. The three boys decided the best way to watch the movie would be in a fort so before it began, they moved all the boxes to make a giant fort in front of the television then with the movies and the food in front of them, the ultimate boys night began.

Before 1998 was over though, there was a new development. Ross lost his job. He wasn't sure how it had happened, something about a sandwich and Joey got that. Sandwiches were important and now Joey had someone new to hang out with during the day. He could actually get to know Ross which he was strangely excited about. He had really not gotten to know him one-on-one and now they had all day.

"So you're in the mob," Ross said as they sat side by side in the chairs. Ross was bored.

"I'm not in the mob."

"You are related to Tony Soprano."

"Yep."

"Can you tell me stuff that Chandler doesn't know or what you've told Chandler?"

"No...but you know, I'm not taking advantage of him," Joey said.

"I know that now."

"I can't believe you shit on Space Mountain."

"That was humiliating and I hated Kip and Gandalf and I wanted tacos and….I had to change in the back of Sally."

"I wish I had seen that car in action."

"Oh, it was gorgeous. He drove it into a damn house. We had a memorial."

"You wanna call Chandler," Joey said.

"He's at work."

Joey reached over and grabbed the phone. He pressed a number and put it on speaker.

"Chandler Bing's office," an assistant's voice was heard on the other end.

"May I speak to Chandler," Joey said using a fake Southern accent. Ross covered his mouth.

"Whom may I say is calling?" the assistant asked.

"Young lady, I would like to speak to Chandler. It's urgent. I tell you, it's urgent like a sea urgent," Joey said.

"Please hold," the assistant said.

"What are you doing?" Ross asked, laughing. Joey shushed him.

"This is Chandler. Who is this?"

"Sally. Sally Corvette. I love you. I miss you, Channa Bing. I love you. You're so pretty Channa Bing. You make my heart all a flutter like peanut butter," Joey said, still using his high pitched Southern voice.

"I'm gonna hunt you down…." Chandler said.

Ross could barely contain his laughter and neither could Joey. It was too hard for Joey to contain himself with Ross laughing hysterically next to him.

"I love you, Channa Bing," Joey said.

"Oh, G-d," Ross muttered.

"Shush," Joey said.

"Wait….Ross? Joey. I'm gonna….I'm gonna kill you both. Both of you need jobs," Chandler said.

"But this is our job, Channa baby," Joey said.

"Oh, fuck you both," Chandler muttered. Ross and Joey were doubled over with laughter when they heard the click from the phone. Chandler had hung up on them.

"Did he just hang up on us?" Ross asked.

"Yep."

"Bitch."

"I know. You wanna build a fort."

"I kinda do. Thanks, Joey….I needed that laugh."

"Good, "

Joey said as he and Ross got up to work on a fort. They had taken it down after Thanksgiving but felt maybe it needed to be up again. They spent the day surrounding the television area with boxes to make an excellent fort. Joey was surprised at how much fun he really did have with Ross, how much they had in common outside of Chandler. Sure, making fun of their friend was always a great connection but knowing they could connect on other levels made it so much more fun. 1998 was soon coming to a close. 1998 had started well but had brought some major drama, maybe 1999 would not do the same.


	36. Chapter 36

**So I think there are only 3 people reading this? 2 or 3? So to you guys, The Sopranos premiered in 1999 so to help Joey's story, I've done some Sopranos crossover. Not a lot, but little bits here and there. Joey's story is not all that developed and I didn't want to just have his life revolve around the others as at this point, Monica and Chandler are together and Ross and Rachel are having their own issues! Please review...seriously!**

 **January 1999**

His family wanted to throw him a thirty first birthday and he didn't complain. He actually kinda missed them which surprised him. He really hadn't seen everyone in a while and felt like he should catch up. He was so out of the loop with his sisters now all in serious relationships and with babies on the way. He was thrilled that Gina came from Los Angeles to visit and brought Michael who was now fourteen. The house that he grew up in was now packed even more but this time with small kids. Veronica and Mary Therese now had babies and Tina was getting remarried as was Cookie which of course made him happy knowing everything his sisters had been through. Mary Angela had moved on as well.

"See, you didn't need to kill off my roommate," Joey said, sitting on the couch sipping a beer as Mary Angela was telling him all about a guy she had met at a party.

"It was still a dick move," Mary Angela said.

"So was your move," Joey said, "major dick move."

"He didn't even know who I was," Mary Angela said.

"He was wasted….and high."

"How do you sleep with someone and then forget who they are?" Mary Angela asked.

"I don't know. I do it all the time….clean and sober," Joey said.

"That's worse," Mary Angela said.

"I know," Joey said.

"Is he seeing anyone now?"

"Yeah, he is. He's also clean and he's happy."

"Good."

"Hey, happy birthday kid," Tony said, patting Joey on the shoulder. Joey got up and hugged him. He was standing with the rest of the Sopranos, Meadow, AJ and Carmela.

"Where's Dina?" Meadow asked.

"And hello to you, Mead," Joey said, giving her a hug.

"Where's Dina? I have to talk to her. We have the SAT's coming up," Meadow said.

"SAT's?" Joey asked.

"Tests for people who wanna go to college. That's right, my kid is gonna go to college," Tony said.

"She's upstairs and AJ, Michael's in town. He's in the kitchen with my mom and Gina."

"Perfect," Carmela said as she and AJ headed off towards the kitchen and Meadow ran upstairs. Tony nodded for Joey to follow him. He grabbed a couple beers and the two stepped outside into the cold New York night. They sat side by side, drinking.

"So you ever heard of Jennifer Melfi?" Tony asked.

"No, is she some chick I've slept with?" Joey asked.

"Doubt it. She's a shrink. See, I trust you with this information. You might tell those bozos you live with but-"

"I might, but honestly Ton, I do try to keep as much secret as I can. I mean, probably my roommate knows more than he should but I-I trust him…..but what about this shrink? You banging her?"

"No...I'm seeing a shrink."

"Really….but...well, you're a capo. You're a self-made man."

"I know but I get...I got anxiety."

"Anxiety?"

"Attacks. Can't breathe and shit."

"Whoa...but wait….how can you go to a shrink if you're a capo? I mean, can you tell her shit?"

"I don't know. Client confidentiality."

"Yeah but-"

"I don't know. You gonna tell your bozos?"

"I don't know. Probably not."

"Good. Just keep it secret."

"Hmmm, I'm keeping a lot of stuff secret these days," Joey said.

"Like what?"

"My roommate is dating a girl in our group and they're keeping it all secret."

"Are you really comparing?"

"I have two different worlds," Joey said.

"Hey," Christopher said, walking towards them. He was practically beaming as he approached them, "Uncle Ton, you're gonna be so proud. Killed off Radavov...the Czech dude? Buried him behind the restaurant," Christopher said.

"Yeah, I don't wanna know this," Joey said, standing up and patting Tony on the back. "I'm gonna go inside."

Joey got up and walked back into the house. He took in just how different these parties seemed to be now. So much calmer and filled with kids. He kinda liked it. It was strange how that happened.

"So you gonna visit us more?" Tina asked, walking over to him.

"I might," Joey said.

"You can never get away from who you are."

"I know."

He wasn't sure he had gotten away from who he was. There just seemed to be several sides to him. When he returned home that night, he was back to his village self. It felt safe there, it always felt safe there. He opened the door and walked into his room where he heard Monica and Chandler on the other side. He rolled his eyes as he heard what was now becoming a familiar moan. It sounded like they had just started. He grabbed some comic books off his nightstand and walked out, right into Monica and Rachel's apartment.

"Hey, Rach," Joey said walking into the apartment, carrying a comic book. "Can I read in here?"

"Are Monica and Chandler doing it at your place?" Rachel asked.

Joey stared at her as Rachel seemed shocked by what she had just said. Had Rachel just had something confirmed? Rachel had told him back when he was passing kidney stones that she had suspicions and had tried to break Chandler but how much more had been confirmed?

"No….what?"

"Joey, do you know something?"

"I don't know anything," He did not want to confirm even though he had a feeling Rachel knew.

"Joey," Rachel said as Joey sat on the couch next to her and opened his Batman comic. Rachel grabbed it out of his hand and stared at him. "You know."

"I don't know."

"Joey."

Joey let out an annoyed sigh, "well, how do I know this isn't a trap?"

"I just heard them having phone sex."

"I've been there."

"How long have you known?"

"Too long. How long have you known?"

"Too long. Monica and I refer to him as 'the secret boyfriend'".

"Why are they being so weird?"

"According to Mon, it's because Ross and I have scared them because we're so intense and that's insulting," Rachel said.

"Well, you are intense," Joey said, thankful he could now openly discuss it with Rachel. Now they had verified it.

"More intense than Chandler? The man has more baggage than a luggage store."

"It's different but this can't keep going."

"It really can't….although, can I tell you something?" Rachel asked.

"No more secrets."

"No, no….they got together in '98. Ross and I made a bet. He thought they'd get together this year. I said last….ha, I win."

"Seriously? I got money from Chandler."

"You did?"

"And he will owe Pheebs money when it all comes out but before we left for London, Phoebe and I said that if something happened with him and Monica, he owed us money."

"Wow….and you know, Ross and I are not always fighting or-"

"I know. You two do have a lot of drama," Joey said.

"I wish I knew why….'cause I do love him. A lot."

"I know," Joey said.

Rachel smiled as she handed him back his comic book. She turned towards the television and turned it on. Joey kept looking at the comic book and then back at Rachel. She looked upset.

"You know, it's just different. You and Ross and them."

"I know. It's just...I hate that he...it's not….I don't know."

"No, I know."

"How was your birthday party?" Rachel asked.

"Good. Uncle Tony is seeing a shrink."

"Can a mob guy see a shrink?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know. Not sure how it'll end up."

"Do you miss it?"

"Sometimes but this is good...you and I got a secret."

"Yeah, I know….but...I hate that they're trying to keep it a secret. Especially from you and me….we're the roommates."

"I know but...hey at least we're making money off of it," Joey said.

Rachel laughed as Joey continued reading his Batman comic. He knew she was still processing Monica and Chandler together and he wasn't sure what more he could say. He knew it would come out eventually.

"The thing is, she's still lying about it. Monica? I heard Monica and Chandler on the phone and she's trying to convince me it's not what I think and I've always thought they would be perfect together."

"Didn't you hate him when you first met him? Weren't you the one that started the whole thing that ended with his toe being cut off."

"What's your point? I also didn't tell her to cut off his toe."

Joey let out a snort as they went back to sitting side by side in silence. He really wasn't sure what else to say. He did think it was definitely getting ridiculous.

Then there was Ross. Ross was unemployed and home a lot. He wasn't doing much during the day and whenever Joey would come home, he would see Ross. After a commercial audition, he walked in with a stack of bills to see Ross staring at the ceiling. He wished Ross would do something, anything.

"Is it really that interesting up there?" Joey asked as he threw his backpack and the bills on the counter.

"No, no...it's just-how was your audition?" Ross asked, sitting up.

"Ehhh, it went," Joey said. "What have you been doing?"

"Nothing. I hate this. I really just hate this."

"Did you space things out?" Joey asked, he had tried to help him with that, the idea of spacing things out which helped if he was unemployed. He could spend more time doing things.

"I didn't get the mail today."

"Chandler likes it if we get it every day. He enjoys paying crap on time. I leave the bills for him," Joey said, separating the bills from the mail and tossing them onto the table.

"What if we paid the utilities and rent and gave him a break this month?" Ross asked, offering.

"Why?"

"What?"

"We're unemployed. He's not."

"I'm on sabbatical."

"Whatever you wanna call it….this is weird. You got mail," Joey said, tossing him an envelope. Ross grabbed it and ripped it open. "You the hell knows you live here?"

"Family, friends, Emily."

"Emily?"

"Well, yeah….we're divorcing and she won't come here and I won't go there. So we're mailing each other things and sending copies to lawyers and….she is getting married," Ross stopped, staring at the letter.

"Hmmm, that's quick. Guess she likes it fast. Huh, well, she wouldn't be a match for me."

"Do you hear what you say sometimes?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Emily is getting married. We just broke up."

"Yeah, dude, you dated her for like a month and then married her. She's not the slow and steady type."

"Why do you speak?" Ross asked.

"What? Be glad you're done and it's not you. She's some other asshole's problem now," Joey said.

"When Chandler's coming home? He's so much better at this," Ross said, motioning between himself and Joey.

"Yeah, no he's not. Besides I think he has an office thing tonight so it's just you and me, bud….at least until six. Then I gotta go….I'm taking out some chick I met at the coffee house. Lexxi with two 'x's' and an 'i' and oh, look," Joey said, grabbing a napkin out of his back pocket and showing it to him, "Lexxi has a heart over the 'i'. I'm so gonna get laid tonight. Hey, you want me to ask if she has a friend."

"I think I'll go talk to Monica," Ross said, getting up and walking out the door, slamming the door shut behind him. Joey shrugged. Ross' loss. Lexxi was cute. He wasn't sure what she did but it had to be something fun as she had two x's in her name. His thoughts about Lexxi were soon interrupted by a knock at the door which was confusing. No one ever knocked, it was really only them walking in and out of each other's apartments. He opened the door to AJ and Michael which confused him even more.

"Why are you here? Do we have plans?" Joey asked.

"No, we drove here," Michael said.

"Tell me you're joking," Joey said.

He sincerely hoped they weren't telling the truth but they were standing there, grinning at him. Michael looked like a puppy dog, bouncing up and down and AJ just looked smug.

"I drove," AJ said.

"No, that doesn't make me feel better. You're thirteen and fourteen years old. Does Gina know where you are, Michael? Do Tony and Carmela? Whose car did you drive?" Joey asked.

"My science teacher's. I found a great spot," AJ said.

"Oh G-d….does he know you took his car?" Joey asked.

"Of course not. Why would we tell him that?" AJ asked.

"It was awesome. We drove from Jersey all the way here. It was so cool," Michael said.

"No, no….your mom is gonna freak and your dad's gonna freak. I gotta call a girl and cancel a date 'cause apparently we're doing a road trip," Joey said.

"Wait, wait is up your ass? You used to do stuff like this all the time," AJ said.

"I never stole a car," Joey said.

"You've been arrested four times. My dad bailed your ass out," AJ said.

"We're not comparing and clearly, I've grown out of that stage," Joey said.

"You don't have a job and you don't pay for this place," AJ said back.

"That doesn't matter. Did you hotwire his car or steal his keys?" Joey asked.

"Stole the keys. Took him off his desk," AJ said.

"It keeps getting worse. Alright, give me the keys. I'm driving and...I'm making calls and I'm giving up a date with a girl who spells her name with two x's and puts a heart over the i," Joey said as he walked over to the phone and began quickly dialing. First, he called Lexxi and rescheduled and then called both Tony and his sister. He told them to call the science teacher and tell him not to call the cops. He would drive the car back to the Sopranos house in Jersey. He would now be driving them home.

AJ seemed way too proud of what he had done. Michael just thought it was all fun. Joey was feeling sick. He didn't want AJ and Michael to turn out the way he did. He didn't want them going down the path he had. Yes, he had made mistakes but he wanted more for his nephew and more for AJ.

"You know, I did crap," Joey said as he sped down the highway towards the Soprano home. "I know I've made some big mistakes but um…..you don't wanna be like me," Joey said.

"Or like my dad? What? You don't think I know what he does for a living?" AJ asked.

"I'm sure you know but you don't need to do that. It's not necessary," Joey said. "It's more fun to live the way I am now. I got good friends."

"Whatever? Christopher says you've lost your balls," AJ said.

"Probably. Christopher is also a dipshit," Joey said.

"No, Chris is right. You've lost your balls," AJ said.

"I've never driven a car before, that is just...it was an adventure. So cool," Michael said.

"Mike, you didn't drive," AJ said, "I did."

"It's not cool. We're you drinking?" Joey asked.

"No, we're not you. We don't drink and drive," AJ said.

"Don't be a dumbass," Joey said, resisting the urge to turn around and smack AJ upside the head. "I'm supposed to be getting ready to go on a date with a beautiful young lady. Lexxi...with two x's."

"Sounds like a porn name. Does she know your friend, Kristi," AJ said.

"Shut the fuck up," Joey said.

When he finally reached the Soprano home in Jersey, Joey almost felt like he had gotten into trouble. There was a balding guy whom Joey assumed was the science teacher. As soon as the car stopped, Gina, Carmela, Tony and the science teacher seemed to descend upon him. There was talking, chattering, people yelling. The science teacher immediately marched towards Joey with his hand outstretched.

"You wanna give me a ride back to Manhattan?" Joey asked, looking sheepishly at the teacher who did not speak to him and simply just took the keys. "Don't press charges. They're just kids."

"I'm not," the teacher said. "I can't."

Joey let that sink in as he looked over at Tony and Carmela who were yelling at AJ. He got it immediately, the teacher could not press charges because of who Tony was. He started to wonder how fair this was. Sure, Tony had bailed him out but looking back maybe there were times where he should not have been bailed out. Monique probably still thought he should be in prison. Maybe things would be better now if it wasn't for Tony? Or may not.

Soon, the yelling ended. The teacher drove off and Tony drove Joey, Gina and Michael to the train station to take it back to New York. Tony said nothing, it was probably one of the more tense car rides he had ever been part of and he had been part of many intense car rides, many leading to death for other people. Once on the train, Gina exploded again.

"That's why I don't want us living here," Gina said.

"Mom, it wasn't that big of a deal," Michael said.

"You stole a car and drove it from Jersey to New York. You're fourteen and AJ is thirteen," Gina said, "thank G-d no charges are being filed."

"Yeah, 'cause AJ said Tony would blow his head off," Michael said.

"Michael," Gina said. "I don't want….we're going back to Los Angeles tomorrow. I don't like the Sopranos."

"Look, Tony's not bad…they just got a different life," Joey said.

"I know and I'm so glad you got out but I don't want Michael to even be tempted," Gina said.

"I get it. I do miss you in New York," Joey said.

"Please, you don't talk to any of us. You got your little Village Cult," Gina said.

"We are not a cult," Joey said.

"Whatever, you all have to date each other because you haven't figured out that you can know other people," Gina said.

"We all have other groups of friends," Joey said.

"Do you?" Gina asked.

"Yeah. Although, I do enjoy spending time with them. Can't help it. They're just the best people I know," Joey said. "They don't do stupid shit like steal cars."

"AJ said it would be fun and I'm sorry, okay. I just...he's a cool guy. I know you wanted to impress Tony," Michael said.

Joey was reluctant to answer that but it was true. He did want to impress Tony and he remembered being thirteen. He remembered being in a car when Tony shot and killed Willie Overall and helped him bury a body in a basement somewhere. He remembered so badly wanting to be Tony and there were moments he still did.

"Yeah….still sometimes do but…it's not all that great, that world. It's not all that fun. There are people that die and sometimes there's an aftermath that you see and you can never unsee," Joey said, immediately recalling Rachel grabbing hold of Brian, wailing and trying to shake him awake.

He finally arrived home late that night. Ross wasn't on the couch and when he walked into his room, he could hear the distinct sound of giggling on the other side. He knew Monica and Chandler were in there. He was exhausted. His back hurt and felt drained. He slowly drifted off to sleep, not even bothering to change his clothes.

He was woken up the next morning by talking outside the apartment. Walking out, he saw Phoebe, Monica and Rachel talking about something. It took him awhile to figure out what was going on. Chandler had gone to get breakfast and Ross was out all night. The girls were asking him questions but he wasn't sure what was going on. He had been talking to Ross about Emily, Emily was getting married and then Joey had to return a car. His mind was a blur when the door opened and in walked Ross, still wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday. Joey, Phoebe, Monica and Rachel immediately rushed towards him.

"Where the hell you?" Monica asked.

"Out," Ross said.

"Oh, out….well...we didn't think to look there," Rachel said.

"We've been looking everywhere for you," Phoebe said.

"You know, I'm an adult and I've lived on my own and have been known to go out for long periods of times that you don't even know about," Ross said, "Phoebe you live on your own, I'm sure you've been out for hours without us knowing. Leave me alone."

"He hooked up. Dude, you so hooked up," Joey said.

That was the only explanation. That's why he was being so weird.

"I did not hook up with anyone," Ross said.

"Who did you hook up with?" Joey asked.

"I'm not-I don't want to talk about it," Ross said, walking towards the couch and plopping himself down.

"That's so cute how you think we're gonna drop it," Phoebe said as they surrounded him.

"Who did you hook up with?" Joey asked.

"Janice," Ross mumbled.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"I hooked up with Janice," Ross said.

"Janice?" Monica asked.

"How did that happen?" Rachel asked.

"You want me to draw you a picture?" Joey asked.

"Why are you a pig?" Rachel asked.

"Oink, oink," Joey said, grinning.

"I don't know how it happened and….where's Chandler?" Ross said.

"He's getting breakfast," Monica said.

"Please don't tell him," Ross said.

"Oh, that's not gonna happen," Joey said, thinking he might open with that.

"Yeah, I can see myself telling him," Monica grinned.

"I can see myself telling him in interpretive dance and song," Phoebe said.

"I need to find an apartment," Ross said, "fine, then tell him when I'm not around."

"Are you gonna keep seeing her?" Rachel asked.

"No, no, I'm not. Apparently, she thinks I'm annoying," Ross said.

Janice found Ross annoying? That was the best news ever.

"Oh, that's awesome," Joey said. "Janice finds you annoying."

"Look, Ross. I'm….I know it's been rough," Monica said, sitting next to him, "and now with Emily getting married-"

"Emily's getting married?" Rachel asked.

"Yep. She got engaged," Ross said.

"Well, good riddance, fine, she's someone else's problem now," Rachel said.

"But when did this relationship even start, I mean….we're still technically married," Ross said.

"Well, yeah but clearly, you were on a break," Rachel said. Ross gave her a look and a smile appeared on her face, "what? You can use it, but I can't?"

"Thanks, Rach," Ross said, laughing a little as she gently wrapped her arm around his shoulder.

"You're gonna be okay. It's a new year," Monica said.

"I know….I just-"

"I'm back," Chandler said as walked into the apartment carrying several bags of food and noticing Ross, "Hey, where the hell have you been?"

"He slept-" Joey began.

"-Over at Carol and Susan's last night so he could hang out with Ben," Rachel said, interrupting Joey.

He gave Rachel a look, that annoyed him. He would have to tell Chandler later.

"Okay...alright, we got food," Chandler said, giving Ross a confused look.

"I'll help," Monica said as she, Joey and Phoebe went to help Chandler with the food, leaving Rachel and Ross on the couch. The others set up breakfast at the counter and began filling their plates.

"Hey, dude you gonna join us?" Chandler asked.

"Thanks," Ross said, getting up and walking over to them.

"Hey, cheer up, man," Chandler said, patting him on the back.

"I'll try," Ross said.

"Well, I have a story that might cheer you up," Joey said. This was a story he could tell as the group settled around the apartment, balancing breakfast plates on their laps.

"Is this about Lexxi with two x's? Honestly, I don't want to hear about your night," Ross said.

"Oh, I didn't get to see Lexxi because soon after you left, Ross, my nephew Michael and AJ, Tony's kid, showed up. They drove here….from New Jersey. Michael is fourteen, AJ is thirteen and they stole AJ's teacher's car and drove here from Jersey."

"What?" Monica asked.

"Oh my G-d," Rachel said.

"So I had to drive them back. The teacher was pissed but charges will not be filed because….well, Tony Soprano," Joey said.

"G-d, I wish I had that kind of power," Chandler said.

"Me too," Ross said.

"And I'm pissed 'cause I never got to see Lexxi. She could have been the woman I was meant to spend the rest of my life with," Joey said, scooping up some eggs with his fork and grinning, "or just one night before I never called her again."

Monica threw a pillow at him as he laughed. He was so happy he was far away from whatever was going on back at home. This was far more fun.

Later that evening though, it was back to Jersey. Despite what had happened with AJ, the Sopranos were having some dinner party at a restaurant Tony was investing in and he wanted Joey to come. As soon as he walked in, something did not feel too right. He noticed Christopher, Eddie and Christopher's new friend, Brendan, talking with Dina and Meadow about something. He knew Brendan was supposed to be like Shane, as was Eddie. Maybe there were two guys like Shane? He wasn't sure what it was about and he wasn't sure what it was about the conversation that worried him but something did. He slowly approached them and as he did, Meadow and Dina seemed to notice him immediately and walked off.

"What's going on?" Joey asked.

"Hey, look who's here? Where's your boyfriend?" Eddie asked.

"What's going on?" Joey asked.

"None of your business, dickwad," Brendan said.

"I don't know who the hell you are, what's going on Christopher?" Joey asked.

"We actually do have a problem," Christopher said. "They're asking for speed."

"What?" Joey asked, looking over at Meadow and Dina who were now sitting together at a table, talking about something.

"It's not a problem. I know a guy. I can also hook up your roommate, I know he gets a hard on from an Oxy," Eddie said.

"I will stab you in the neck," Joey said.

"I'm not giving them anything, but they won't stop asking," Christopher said.

"It's an easy sell, you know," Brendan said. "We sell it to the boss' daughter then-"

Joey quickly moved in on Brendan, holding him up to the wall and glaring at him.

"You so much as sell them a tic tac, I will blow your fucking head off," Joey said.

"Joe, I'm looking out for them," Christopher said.

"How? And why do they need speed?" Joey asked.

"Apparently, the SAT's are hard," Christopher said.

"That's why I didn't take 'em," Eddie said.

"Dude, you can't read, that's why you didn't take 'em," Joey said.

"Suck your roommate's balls today?" Eddie asked.

"Every single day," Joey said before turning to walk off towards Dina and Meadow. He needed to speak to them. He sat down and grabbed a roll from the basket and turned look at them.

"You know, he might be able to help," Meadow said.

"I don't know," Dina said.

"We have to ask," Meadow said.

"What?" Joey asked, having a feeling he knew where this was headed but he didn't want to press anything.

"Okay, your roommate is a drug addict, right?" Dina asked.

"Was. He's been clean for almost two years," Joey said.

"Okay but he would know someone….that could help us out," Dina said.

"No," Joey said.

"Joey, you don't understand. It is so stressful. This test determines everything and then on top of all the work," Meadow stressed.

"Not a chance in hell. I am not hooking you up with anyone and I don't even think he did speed. He took Oxy and Vicodin."

"That could work," Meadow said.

"No, no. Look, I get that it's stressful but come on….it's-I've seen how bad it is. My roommate went down to his birth weight and remember my friend, Shane. He died from an overdose," Joey said.

"That's 'cause Christopher pumped his veins with heroin," Meadow said.

"I don't want to know that. You girls don't need this. You're smart," Joey said. "Also, you're almost done. Come on, you don't wanna do it this way."

Meadow and Dina both let out irritated sighs and he hoped they listened. He hoped they wouldn't go down that path. They soon left him alone as he sat with his bread basket. Soon, Christopher joined him.

"Where are your cronies?" Joey asked.

"I don't know. Don't worry, I'm gonna make sure Meadow and Dina don't touch speed."

"Good. How did Shane die?"

"Drug overdose, you know that."

"Who gave it to him?" Joey asked. "You did, didn't you?"

"I liked the guy, I did. Okay, I didn't…."

"So now you got two drug addicts as your buddies so...you got like a drug gang. Doesn't this feel old?"

"You're not better than us."

Joey reached for another roll and took a bite. He kinda felt he was. He was a lot better. He got up and walked towards Tony and Carmela. He didn't want to be here. This wasn't his home anymore. He wanted to go to his home. He looked over and noticed Dina and Meadow still in intense conversation and AJ off in a corner drinking from a wine glass. This was definitely not his life anymore. His life was in a coffee house, not in a restaurant watching deals go down. Deals he wanted nothing to do with.


	37. Chapter 37

**First, thank to those who reviewed and also special shout out to those who got the Trump jokes and laughed! I hope no one was offended...I just saw an opportunity and it just felt too perfect pass up!**

 **Second, I'm glad some of you like The Sopranos stuff. I came up with the idea when I realized that the woman who played Adriana in The Sopranos played Joey's sister in Joey. I will not be following The Sopranos storylines exactly, just taking little bits here and there. If you don't like it then you may need to write a strongly worded letter to the producers of Friends because they created a character with not a lot of depth. The majority of Joey's storylines revolve around his acting and/or unemployment, food and getting laid. So there wasn't a lot there and I figured, why not have some fun with it but if you have watched The Sopranos, please don't expect the storylines to be identical. It's still a Friends fan fiction. Enjoy and review!**

 **Also to those who commenting that they like that I have not made Joey progressively dumber, I will not be making him dumber. I hated that they turned Joey into just a dim witted guy to someone that might need adult assistance in order to live. I wish they had had him actually mature andnot just get so ridiculous. I always saw Joey as being really street smart.**

 **February 1999-April 1999**

It had to come out at some point. Ross had gone to look at the apartment that had once belonged to Ugly Naked Man. He had gone with Phoebe and Rachel and Phoebe had seen Chandler and Monica doing it up against the window. Joey thought perhaps he, Rachel and Phoebe could just confront Monica and Chandler. He didn't want to keep any of this secret anymore. He wanted to just say something but Phoebe and Rachel had other plans. Phoebe would seduce Chandler until he broke. He was annoyed by all of this. He wanted it all to stop, but instead he found himself standing outside in the hall with Rachel listening to Phoebe and Chandler try to one up each other, seducing each other until suddenly he heard Chandler declare loudly that he was in love with Monica.

"Did he just say what I think he just said?" Joey asked, looking at Rachel. He knew Chandler had said he loved Monica but he hadn't said it so loudly and he had not said it in front of everyone. Joey and Rachel walked into the apartment as Phoebe looked stunned. Monica emerged from the boy's bathroom and walked towards Chandler.

"You're in love with me?" Monica asked.

"Yeah," Chandler said. "I'm in love you. I mean, it's you. I'm in love with you."

"I love you too," Monica said as she leaned in to kiss him. Joey heard Rachel starting to sniffle as tears filled her eyes.

"Relax, he's not in love with you," Joey whispered. Rachel playfully elbowed him and let out a laugh as Joey put his arm around her.

"I didn't know you were in love, I just thought you were doing it," Phoebe said.

"How did you find out?" Monica asked.

"I saw you two doing it up against the window when we went with Ross to look at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment," Phoebe said.

"Oh my G-d….Ross is moving into that apartment. We have to tell him," Monica said,

"Not tonight," Chandler mused.

Monica laughed as Chandler still held on to her. Ross would be the last to know but at least enough people knew. Now, they could deal with it together. A new couple within the group although Monica and Chandler did seem to be a bit different of a couple. There wasn't as much drama

"Okay, I am going home. It's been a long night," Phoebe said after some more hanging out and Monica and Chandler filling the rest of them in on all the details of their relationship up to that point. Joey didn't listen really, having heard most of the story already.

"Oh, let me walk you out Pheebs," Chandler said as he walked towards Phoebe and the two disappeared. Joey wondered if Chandler was going to be giving Phoebe her money.

"You got him to say he was in love with you," Rachel said.

"I know," Monica said as the three sat together.

"You know he loves me more though," Joey said which made Monica laugh. It was true.

"Joey, stop being weird. Jandler is over. It's now Mondler time," Rachel said.

"No, no….Jandler will never be over," Monica said, squeezing Joey's hand. "Oh, G-d….I can't stop smiling. He's my best friend. I am dating my best friend."

"It's amazing isn't it?" Rachel asked.

"It won't be like you and Ross, though," Monica said.

Joey bit his lip as he looked over at Rachel and noticed she was a bit upset by the comparison. It was starting to be an odd comparison. Monica and Chandler still had plenty of drama. They definitely weren't perfect.

"I know. You and Chandler will be so much better. You'll be the anti Ross and Rachel," Rachel smiled.

"Okay," Monica said.

Joey didn't like that and he didn't like that Rachel was going along with it despite him knowing she hated it. Ross and Rachel were a fine couple and when they were good, they were pretty awesome.

"Although, I don't think Ross and Rachel were that bad," Joey said, giving Rachel a look. She smiled at him and turned back to Monica who looked concerned.

"No, no you weren't…..I shouldn't be saying we won't be like you," Monica said.

"I don't really like it," Rachel said. "But-"

"I'm sorry….you and Ross make a pretty good team. When you two are good, you're fantastic," Monica said.

"Thanks and I agree."

"Please don't tell Ross, 'cause I know you two tell each other everything. I really want to be the one to tell him this," Monica said.

"I won't."

Monica could not stop smiling and soon Chandler returned. Chandler and Monica decided to sleep in Monica's room that night giving Joey the whole apartment to himself. That was going to be pretty awesome. After the rest of them left, he grabbed a beer from the fridge, popped in a Baywatch tape and decided he would watch until falling asleep in front of the television. He was so close to doing that when he heard the door open and close behind him.

"Hey, what's up?" Joey asked as Rachel grabbed a blanket from Chandler's room and plopped herself down on one of the recliners.

"Hey, I'm gonna sleep in Chandler's room tonight. I'll let them be alone."

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just….I'm sad."

"About what?"

"I'm single. I mean, I guess...I just...I want...I wish...I don't know-"

"You'll find someone."

"Who?"

"Who would not want you?"

"That's sweet. I'm just tired of being single. I want to date someone….someone not Ross," Rachel said.

"You know, you and Ross will end up together," Joey said, glancing over at her.

"I don't know….but apparently we have a reputation."

"From Monica and Chandler? Come on….you're gonna take relationship advice from two people who thought the best way to have a relationship was to keep it secret?"

"True...but still-"

"You and Ross are fine. Don't worry about it."

Rachel smiled as Joey continued to watch Baywatch. His mind wandered, thinking about other things and also Baywatch. The dynamics were different now. There was a new couple and while he didn't want to admit it to Rachel, he kinda hoped Monica and Chandler wouldn't be completely like them, although it did seem like they were very, very different.

The next morning, he and Rachel were sitting across from each other, eating cereal. Rachel had seemed very upset the night before and he hoped now things were okay.

"You feeling better?"

"Hmmm….I don't know. How 'bout you, Joe?"

"What about me?"

"Have you ever had a relationship that has lasted longer than a night."

"I have," Joey said. He had several. At least he thought he had.

"Okay, longer than two nights."

"You have a very low opinion of me, Green," Joey said, giving her a grin. She really must have thought he was a complete pig. Sure, he never returned calls but he was playing the field, also when he got a girl's number, he also gave his so why did he always have to call? He refused to give into the double standard.

"I don't...I….okay, when I met you at that fashion week party, you hit on me even though I said I had a boyfriend and I was there with the brother of that boyfriend."

The image of Brian took over again. He wondered if he'd ever be able to think of him without feeling so incredibly guilty. He could have done something.

"Yeah, but from what you've told me about Barry and Brian. I don't think Brian would've cared if you hooked up with me."

"No, I don't think so either."

"And you were in Brian's pants the whole time," Joey said remembering that party and remembering Rachel and Brian together. They were flirting. Even if Rachel denied it, they had been acting like a couple.

"I was not. I was….near his pants, definitely not in them."

"Okay, let me ask you….if Brian had been straight, would you have hooked up with him?"

"Oh G-d, yes," Rachel said. Joey laughed as he shook his head.

That lingering guilt though, hopefully, that would fade. She really did love this guy. He could almost hear that wail again. He needed to change the topic.

"See and you know, just because you've had more serious relationships than I have….doesn't make you better."

"I didn't say that….but have you ever….you know….you have any regrets? Of girls you should have called or wish you had been more faithful too?"

"Hmm, some," Joey said and a girl came to mind. He forgot her name but she looked like Monica. She had been cute but he hadn't spoken with her in a long time.

"Like?"

Joey opened his mouth and Rachel was listening intently when they heard a pounding outside. Rachel and Joey exchanged confused looks until they heard Ross yelling for Monica and Chandler.

"Well, seems like the time has come to get your money," Joey grinned as they got up and walked out just as Monica was opening the door to the apartment. Rachel and Joey followed Ross in as he stomped into the apartment.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked.

"I'm going to kill Chandler," Ross ran towards the bathroom.

"I think he may have found out about them," Joey said, giving her a look. Rachel shook her head.

"Ross, come on...calm down," Monica said, grabbing his arm.

"What the hell is going on?" Ross asked.

"I will tell you if you calm down," Monica said. "And Chandler get out of the bathroom."

"Will Joey protect me from Ross?" Chandler asked, from behind the closed door.

"I'm on it man," Joey said as he walked towards the bathroom.

"Wow," Monica said looking towards Rachel. Rachel let out a snort and shook her head.

"Never underestimate the power of Jandler," Rachel said.

"What is going on?" Ross asked.

"Sit down," Monica said, leading her brother towards the big chair. She looked back at Chandler as he opened the door to the bathroom and looked cautiously at Ross.

"I got you, buddy," Joey said.

"Joe, Rach….can you guys give us a moment?" Monica asked.

"Come on, Joey. I think we should let them talk," Rachel said, motioning for him join her. Joey looked between Chandler and Monica, nervous.

"If you go, I will make you French toast for breakfast when you come back," Monica said.

"Okay, good luck buddy," Joey said, patting Chandler on the back and walking out of the apartment, with Rachel following. He picked up his cereal and continued eating. Sure Monica was making French toast later but still, cereal would be an appetizer.

"Things are definitely changing," Joey mumbled.

"Who are the women?"

"What?" Joey asked, confused.

"Who are the women that you regret blowing off? I mean, have you ever really been in love?"

"What is with the questioning?" Joey asked. Why was she wanting to know so much?

"I wanna know. I feel like out of everyone, I know the least about you. Except that you come from a big family, you're a pig and you have mafia ties."

"That's all you really need to know."

"Tell me something that Chandler doesn't even know. Come on, please…..did you ever whack anyone?"

"No."

"Really?

They always wanted to know things. They always wanted to know events but he did not want them to be privy to any of these stories. They were dangerous. They weren't fun stories.

"Alright….when I was in construction, I had an opportunity to get into that part of the business but I couldn't. It…..it wasn't the kind of life I wanted. I saw some stuff that I didn't really like and….okay, you know how I said my roommate died of a drug overdose?"

"Shane?"

"Yep….I am convinced though no one has come out and said it, I am convinced that there is more to the story than an overdose. I think someone helped him."

That story was probably the least dangerous. He couldn't really say for sure what happened in the time between his last phone call with Shane and him dying but he had some idea and he had a feeling Christopher was behind it.

"Oh my G-d," Rachel said.

"Say nothing."

"I won't….but why do you think someone helped him?"

"Because when I left for Los Angeles, he was clean and had been for a long time. He's was actually doing pretty good with his sobriety and a couple weeks before I came back, he began hanging out with a cousin of mine, Christopher, who had drug problems. Something happened...I don't know the full story. I just keep being told that I don't need to know."

"Oh my G-d…..Shane was an asshole. What he did to Chandler?"

"I didn't know he did that and he was," Joey said.

"Hmmmm….Chandler thinks Shane was afraid of you," Rachel said.

"He may have been," Joey said, thinking there might be truth to that.

"But why was he so mean to Chandler? He clearly wasn't mean to you."

"Chandler's a smart ass."

"Yeah, and…."

"I think Shane wanted someone to fight back. With fists and not sarcastic, witty comments."

"Oh….I see."

Rachel nodded as Joey laughed. They continued eating their cereal before Monica called them over for breakfast and even sitting at the table, the dynamics had indeed changed. Chandler and Monica were acting like a couple and it was sweet but different. Now that everything was out in the open, they had also decided to go back and forth so one night a week either Joey or Rachel would get their apartment to themselves. The changes were happening faster he'd like while he was still trying to figure out what he wanted to do now.

Phoebe met Gary the cop towards the end of February, beginning of March. It was bad, very bad. Phoebe had unknowingly taken Gary's badge and pretended to be a cop and eventually they began dating. This scared Joey. Gary seemed to look at Joey like he knew a secret, like he saw right through him. Every single time they talked, Gary would just stare at him and the way Gary said Joey's name creeped him out even more.

"Joey Tribbiani?" Gary said it as if he knew Joey's story. He immediately disliked Gary but he couldn't explain why. He couldn't tell the other five and when Gary suggested that he, Ross and Chandler go for a ride-along with him, Joey immediately declined feeling this could be the worst possible thing he could do but it was Tony who told him otherwise. He was shocked when Tony told him to go. Joey felt like he was being thrown to the wolves.

"I'm not going on a ride-along with a cop. Are you out of your mind?" Joey asked, sitting across from Tony at his restaurant. He was happy just eating his pizza and drinking his wine when Tony kept pushing. He had made the mistake of telling Tony all about Gary and how much he hated him and apparently Tony had done digging of his own and now had a job for Joey.

"He's investigating. Look, those bozos you love are going on it, right?"

"Yeah."

"You don't think they'll spill shit to a cop?"

"Ross doesn't know crap and Chandler, no he won't say anything."

"To a cop? Get your brain out of your dick and put it back in your head. Sure your roommate won't say jack to a bystander but to a cop."

"Why are they investigating?" Joey asked. "What are they investigating?"

"You really wanna know?"

"No. Yes. I don't know."

"Look, there's a possibility I might end being named a suspect in a grand jury investigation."

"Are you going to be indicted? Are you going to prison? Can I get your car if you do?" Joey asked.

"What's the matter with you? No and not if I can help it but this cop is sniffing around and is gonna ask you some crap. I need to know nothing gets revealed. I trust you, I don't trust them."

"Fine, I'll go on the ride-a-long," Joey said.

"Good. Wear a wire."

"What?" Joey asked, where had that come from?

"I want to hear what he says. If there's anything on him, I should know?"

"Wearing a wire...I-"

"Joey. Come on, you think he'll pat you down?"

"Fine….I'll do it. Alright, remember when I didn't want to be part of your world."

"You're not gonna kill him. I might."

Joey shook his head and reluctantly agreed to wear a wire before going on the ride-a-long. He would not tell Ross or Chandler until later. He definitely would not tell Phoebe. He needed to play it cool. He hadn't been in the back of a police car in a long time and it felt weird not being in handcuffs. Before the ride-a-long, he had told Chandler and Ross to not say a word or just act as cool as they could. Joey would act cool as well, as long as Gary didn't start pressing which of course did not last long as about ten minutes into the ride, Gary decided to start.

"So Tribbiani, familiar feeling sitting back there, isn't it?" Gary asked.

Chandler immediately looked at Joey, his look one of shock. Joey shushed him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Joey said.

"Please, you got quite a record. Rape, two drunk driving arrests, a fight….quite a history, Tribbiani," Gary said.

"Rape?" Ross asked.

Joey realized that Ross didn't know about that arrest. He also was pretty sure Ross didn't know about any of his arrests. He really did have to talk to Ross more.

"Yeah, you know your buddy is a rapist," Gary said.

"She never pressed charges. In fact, all of those arrests were cleared," Joey said.

"It helps when you're connected with Tony Soprano," Gary said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Joey said.

"Don't play dumb," Gary said.

"I'm not playing dumb, I really am this stupid," Joey said. "Right, boys."

"Uh-huh," Chandler said.

"Um….yeah," Ross said.

"Tell me about Soprano," Gary said.

"I don't know anything," Joey said.

"Bullshit. You know, your friend is going down, it's a matter of time before the feds move in on him and maybe we can dig up some of your history."

He hated Gary and his attempts at intimidation. The thing was, Joey wasn't under arrest. He hadn't done anything so he could play Gary's game. He may not be the smartest guy in any room but no idiot.

"Alright, fine…..you wanna know about Soprano, I'll tell you everything you need to know," Joey said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"What?" Ross asked.

"That's what I wanna hear and maybe you tell me what I wanna hear and I'll help you out," Gary said.

"Okay but here's the thing. If I tell you stuff about Soprano, well then I have to tell Tony the stuff I know about you," Joey said.

"What do you have on me?" Gary asked.

"Easy, actually. I was thinking, actually, you said you looked at Phoebe's records, right? What did you find in those records?"

"None of your fucking business."

"It kinda is 'cause see, I know Pheebs now pretty well and she does have a record. Right? She was in juvie for a year….juvie, she was a juvenile. She got out when she was eighteen and those records were sealed," Joey said.

"I know that."

"She went to juvie for stealing, right?" Joey asked.

"Stabbing a cop, jackass," Gary said.

"That's right but how could you have gotten that file? It was sealed and Phoebe hasn't been eighteen in….well, she just turned thrty one….so she hasn't been eighteen in-in-"

"Thirteen years," Chandler said.

"Thank you….but you had to search for those files 'cause from what I've heard and seen, she's been a law abiding citizen for thirteen years and there's something else that confuses me. You said that in her file, her last known address was Bedford where Chandler, Monica, Rachel and I live now. That doesn't make sense. 'Cause her last known address listed in her criminal, juvie records would not be Bedford. I don't know what she put but she wasn't living there when she was eighteen. So you had to put in a lot of work to basically get laid. So I can tell you what you wanna know about Tony but then I have to tell him how you basically opened a sealed filed that had been closed for over a decade in order to dig up information, then you went about stalking her to find her address…..all so you can get a little bit of action. Also, my files? How do you know that information? You shouldn't know any of that. Considering the fact that all of those charges were dropped," Joey said.

"Holy crap," Ross muttered.

"How do...what...whoa..." Chandler said.

Joey grinned wildly as he knew his friends were impressed with him. He loved when he amazed Chandler and Ross.

"You got Monique to drop the charges," Gary said.

"I didn't get her to do anything and how do you know her name?" Joey asked.

"Two drunk driving arrests?" Gary asked.

"Yeah, I was young and stupid," Joey said.

"Now you're old and stupid?" Chandler asked.

"Why?" Joey asked, looking over at Chandler.

"I saw an opportunity. Shut up," Chandler groaned.

"Fine, Tribbiani, you wanna play like that alright but you know what, it's gonna happen. Mark my words. Soprano is gonna end up in prison," Gary said.

"And I'm not helping you," Joey said. "Also, interrogating me like this in the back of a cop car in front of two witnesses and I've done nothing wrong...in fact, your girlfriend thinks we're in here just going for a drive. I don't think that's gonna look good. So you watch the Knicks last night? What did you think, Officer Gary? Love those Knicks. They rule. Don't you think?"

The rest of the car ride was tense and silent. He wanted nothing to do with Gary. Chandler kept staring at him, beyond stunned. Joey really wished Phoebe would break up with him. He was counting down to the end of their relationship which he hated thinking about. He knew he would also have to explain things to Ross. Ross had questions and he had to wonder how much he could tell Ross without giving too much away. After the ride-a-long, Gary said nothing more to him, he and Phoebe went out and the boys retreated to the apartment. Ross had not spoken at all, just kept looking at Joey.

"You've been arrested four times?" Ross asked.

"Hold on," Joey said as he lifted his shirt and removed the wire. Chandler and Ross stared, stunned as he turned off the recorder.

"You recorded?" Chandler asked.

"Tony wanted me to do it," Joey said. "Alright, what he said was true. Ross, I've been arrested four times and for all of the reasons he said. I don't know what was said to Monique to get her to drop them, I have a feeling it was aggressive but yeah."

"Wow," Ross said.

"I was like so impressed with you back there...that was amazing," Chandler said.

"So everything Gary said..." Ross said.

"Is true. Tony wanted me to record the conversation because he wanted info. You guys are in the clear. I hate Gary. I want Phoebe to be happy but man..."

"Well, he is a little creepy. I mean, take it from a guy who pined after the same girl for ten years...the lengths Gary went to get to her, that's too creepy even for me," Ross said.

Joey laughed, thankful that Ross was not being judgemental. Both of them seemed okay with what he was telling them. He might tell Phoebe one day but he certainly could not tell her while they were still dating and he hoped that would not last much longer.

.


	38. Chapter 38

**April 1999**

Joey was able to finally return the wire to Tony a few weeks later on the night of the surprise party for Rachel. They were throwing her a surprise birthday party and surprise was that the party was a month before her actual birthday. He had met up with Tony at his restaurant to hand it over with a disclaimer telling him that Officer Gary was the biggest moron in the world. He didn't expect to hear back from Tony so quickly but as soon as he walked into his apartment the phone rang.

"Officer Gary is a moron," Tony said.

"That was fast."

"He is a moron."

"I know and I'm fine with Pheebs dating. I just wish she wasn't dating him. By the way, I thought my crap was cleared. How did he know?"

"I'll have to figure that out."

"I don't want that crap on my record...I've been clean for...for...well my last arrest was when I was twenty five, right and I'm thirty one so...so-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Tony asked.

"I'm not an accountant."

"I regret ever making you skip school. Six years. You've been out of trouble for six years."

"Well, there you go but still...how did he know that? I thought it was sealed. I thought it was off my record."

"I don't know. I'm gonna have to have some guys investigate. Don't worry though, I have a couple friends who can help Officer Gary out. If he needs to help clear your files," Tony said.

"Don't, no….Phoebe and Gary are still dating. No."

"I'm not touching her, just him-"

"She knows nothing. As long as they are dating, don't touch him although...the tape, can you use anything?" Joey asked.

"Ehhh, I can make it work."

Joey laughed when he heard call waiting come over the other end.

"Hold on, I have another call," Joey said, switching over, "hello."

"Hey, Joey? Uh, this is Tyler. Chandler's friend."

"Oh, yeah, Chandler's not here."

"I know, he's downstairs with me and I need some help carrying him up the stairs. He's passed out drunk."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, he's...he's really drunk."

"How did-how-okay," Joey said clicking back, "Uncle Tony, I gotta go."

"I'm not done."

"I know, I'll talk to you later," Joey said, hanging up and running down the stairs to see Tyler trying to pull Chandler out of his car. Chandler could barely move and it made no sense that he would get that drunk. They had a party for Rachel that night. Why would he get drunk before Rachel's party? Joey and Tyler each grabbed hold of Chandler and carried him up all the flights of stairs towards the apartment and he was beyond thankful that Monica didn't open her door.

"What the hell happened?" Joey asked as they finally got him into the bathroom. He was still passed out.

"We went for drinks….me and him and his friend, Gandalf and...I think he's upset about the party," Tyler said.

"Why is he upset about the party?" Joey asked.

Tyler cocked his head to the side and gave him a look that struck Joey as a little strange.

"You really don't know?" Tyler asked.

"I wonder if he and Rachel got into a fight," Joey mused.

"Yeah, I gotta go. I gotta pick my kid up from daycare. By the way, you know, I've known Chandler since high school and he's always been a drinker but I think it's getting worse. I'm starting to get worried. " Tyler said.

"Me too. We all are. I'll take care of it," Joey said as Tyler walked out the door. Joey shook his head and walked back into the bathroom to make Chandler more comfortable. Joey let out an annoyed sigh as he fell back against the wall. He really did hate this. He hated that Chandler did this, that he would let himself get this drunk. He loved Chandler but he hated how difficult Chandler made being friends with him. Chandler let out a loud groan as he sat up.

"What time is it?" Chandler asked. "Where...what..."

"You alright?" Joey asked, sounding a little upset.

"Joey?" Chandler asked."What...huh?"

"Tyler pulled up in front of our building with you passed out. He called me from your phone to help him carry you up here," Joey said.

"Does Mon know?" Chandler asked.

"No. I saved your ass. But we gotta get you cleaned up for Rachel's birthday party. It's in an hour."

"Rachel's birthday...right. Rachel's birthday a month early. Seems like you'd be forgetting something," Chandler groaned.

"Get dressed. I'll help."

"I'm fine."

Joey nodded as Chandler pulled himself up. Joey walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him as Monica walked into the apartment.

"Hey, have you seen Chandler? Monica asked.

"Uh," he began looking back at the closed bathroom door,"I don't know. I haven't seen him."

And then as if on cue, he heard Chandler throwing up in the bathroom. Monica looked at him as he scrunched his together. "Monica."

"I have to get ready for the party," Monica said, glaring at the bathroom door before walking out. Joey let out another sigh as he looked towards Chandler's room. He walked in and looked under the bed. Had he fallen off the wagon? He looked around Chandler's room and found no pills. He kept looking and looking until he heard Chandler clear his throat in the doorway. Joey stood and let out a gasp, before catching himself. Chandler had finished his shower and was standing there in robe, looking furious.

"I don't have drugs," Chandler said.

"I know," Joey said.

"I've been clean for two years."

"You're drunk now."

"Yeah. You think there might be a reason?" Chandler asked.

"Look, dude….you told me to keep you from messing this up. Monica's gonna be pissed. You're fucking it up," Joey said.

"Yep, that's what's fucked up about this whole thing. Me being drunk. That's what's fucked up," Chandler said.

"Alright, you're clearly not in a good mood," Joey said, walking out of the room and into his room to get ready for the party. Chandler was still angry when they walked across the hall. He went to talk to Monica and Joey watched as Monica was ignoring him.

"Hey, I need to talk to you," Phoebe said, approaching him.

"What?" Joey asked, not looking at her.

"Okay, Gary keeps asking me questions about you."

"What?" Joey asked, now fully paying attention to Phoebe.

"Questions about Tony, about your arrests, about what you might know about Tony. If you've helped anything. He mentioned someone named, Willie Overall. They found remains in a basement-"

"What did you say?" Joey asked, he needed to talk to Tony. The name Willie Overall scared him.

"Nothing. I've said nothing. I said you don't really tell us very much and I don't know and-"

"Tell him nothing."

"I'm not an idiot but what's the deal?"

"I really hate Gary. I love you, Pheebs. I want you to be happy but-"

"I know. I'm going to his place tonight after this and-I won't say anything but who is Willie Overall?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know," Joey lied.

"Yes, you do. You know."

"I'm not telling you."

"He's drunk," Phoebe said.

"Willie Overall?" Joey asked, wondering how that was possible?

"Chandler? What's going on?" Phoebe asked.

Joey shrugged. His thoughts about Gary were shoved to the back of his mind, he knew there was nothing he could do about it. Tony would take care of it, he always did. Now, he had to focus on the present. He really wasn't sure why Chandler was in such a pissy mood but as soon as Rachel arrived, Joey hoped that would be the end of Chandler's bad mood….or it would just make things worse.

"Wow….but….my birthday isn't until next month," Rachel said, as everyone gathered around her after yelling surprise. Joey noticed Rachel was carrying what looked like a present and something in him started to get nervous. Sure, Rachel was the type to buy herself many gifts but the gift she had did not seem like it was for her.

"That's the surprise," Monica smiled, walking over to Rachel to hug her.

"That's great, thank you but why isn't the party for Chandler? His birthday is today," Rachel said and suddenly the room went silent as everyone stared at Chandler. Did everyone really forget his birthday? How had that happened?

"Yeah, that's-that's what I wanted to tell you Mon," Chandler said.

"Oh my G-d," Monica said.

"But you know….let's party," Rachel tried, trying to make it all less awkward. Everything suddenly clicked for Joey. That was why Chandler was so pissed off? How had he forgotten Chandler's birthday? His thirtieth birthday? This made no sense.

"Chandler, I'm so sorry," Monica said.

"I'm fine, it is what it is," Chandler said, "but we can talk later."

Chandler walked off, leaving Monica looking stunned as the group surrounded her. Joey kept glancing over at Chandler, pouring himself another drink.

"We'll fix this," Ross said.

"We forgot his thirtieth birthday? How the fuck did we forget that? We've known him for twelve years, Ross, how did we forget his birthday? I'm his girlfriend….and..now he'll get drunk," Monica said.

"I'm sorry….thank you for the party," Rachel said.

"How did I forget? And here's the thing, here's a man who some people thought wouldn't even live to see thirty and we forgot his birthday," Monica said. "This is a big deal and we forgot. I forgot…."

That hit Joey hard. He remembered Chandler saying something like that once on his twenty fifth birthday. He had told Joey that people thought he wouldn't live to see thirty. That killed him. Joey watched as Rachel walked over to Chandler to talk to him as Chandler kept drinking.

"How do we fix this? I mean, I've been through a lot but I don't know how to fix this. How do we fix him? 'Cause this is probably gonna drive him over the edge," Phoebe said.

"It probably already did," Ross said.

If Ross only knew how true it was. He might have to tell Ross about what happened. After Rachel left Chandler, Joey thought he might try. He walked over to Chandler who was pouring himself another drink.

"Hey, buddy. Go easy, okay. I don't want you sleeping with another one of my sisters."

"Fuck you. You wanna look in my room for drugs again?" Chandler asked.

Yeah, Chandler was pissed. This was going to be a long party.

"If you're gonna be an asshole, I will," Joey said. "I'm sorry. Okay, I am...I don't understand how this happen."

"I get it."

"Oh, don't be an ass. We didn't forget on purpose," Joey said.

"Leave me alone," Chandler said, walking off.

Joey let out a sigh as he walked over to Ross and plopped down next to him and began eating the chips from the bowl on the table. He was about to say something when Monica sat next to him.

"Joey, today when I went to your apartment….that was Chandler throwing up in your bathroom, right?" Monica asked.

"Yeah. He got wasted with Gandalf and Tyler. I think they've become his drinking buddies 'cause he knows we'll judge him," Joey said.

"I hate Gandalf and hate that Chandler's hanging out with that guy again. He's really convinced Chandler doesn't have a problem," Ross said.

"What about Tyler?" Monica asked.

"Tyler thinks he has a problem. He was the one that called me and we got him upstairs to the bathroom. I was mad too and forgot, we'll take him to a game. We will make it up to him," Joey said.

Monica nodded and looked towards the door. Chandler had vanished from the party and Monica got up and walked out.

"How the hell did this happen?" Joey asked.

"I don't know."

"I'm gonna take him to a Mets game or something. You okay if it's just me and him? Sorry, I haven't hung out with him in awhile and-"

"It's fine, Joe."

"Thanks," Joey said.

"Yeah, I'll do something else."

"You know, I don't know…." Joey tried, not really sure of what he was trying to say.

"So...we have to do something," Rachel said as she and Phoebe joined them on the couch.

"He got so drunk today and I feel bad. How did this even happen?" Joey asked, knowing he was asking the same question over and over. He just couldn't figure it out.

"He really has a drinking problem, doesn't he?" Rachel asked looking at Ross.

"Yeah….and I'm sure this didn't help," Ross said.

They needed to figure something out. They needed to change this. Somehow. There was a cake on the table and maybe that's what they could do? Phoebe grabbed a post-it and wrote, "Chandler" on it and covered Rachel's name. When they were done, Joey went up to the roof knowing they were probably up there. He saw Monica and Chandler sitting together. Chandler was smoking.

"Hey, there you guys are," Joey said, "I think you both need to go downstairs."

"I guess. Hey...can we not tell the others that I was...that I-" Chandler said.

"That you drank too much? I won't." Monica said.

"I won't either," Joey said, although he was pretty sure everyone knew "And how 'bout I treat you to a Mets game, this week."

"Really?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, you and me buddy," Joey said.

"I'd like that," Chandler said.

Chandler extinguished his cigarette as Monica stood up. Joey reached out his hand and pulled him up as he wobbled slightly. They walked silently back down to the apartment, Monica's arm around his waist. They reached the apartment and were immediately surrounded by Phoebe, Ross and Rachel.

"We are so sorry, Chandler," Phoebe said.

"I'm fine," Chandler said, "Happy birthday, Rachel."

"No, we're turning it around. Blow out the candles," Rachel said as they approached the cake that now had his name on it "Although...how drunk are you?"

"Look, we'll make this up to you," Ross said.

Chandler smiled as he leaned in and blew out the candles as everyone cheered and tried to turn it around.

"I'm getting a drink," Chandler grinned as he walked off. It didn't work. Joey looked over at Monica who looked completely shattered. He walked over to her and placed his arm around her.

"There were no drugs in his room," Joey said.

"He loves you and me more than his addiction, right? That's what you said?"

"I still believe that."

"Okay," Monica said as she walked off towards Chandler. Joey let out a sigh as Ross walked towards him.

"I don't know," Joey said. "I don't what else to say or do anymore."

"Hey, you know I never thanked you," Ross said.

"For what?" Joey asked, confused.

"For telling me about your arrests and some of the story of your life. How come you've never told me?"

"Cause you can be a judgemental asshole," Joey said.

"True, but you still should have told me," Ross said.

"I cleaned up your shit on Space Mountain. What more do you want from me?" Joey asked.

"Keep him alive," Ross said.

"Shit cleaning might be easier," Joey said.

"Well, at least you can rest assured he won't banging your sister tonight," Ross said.

"No, he'll be banging yours," Joey said.

"You wanna give my sister a break and go help out a raging alcoholic?" Ross asked.

"Yep, that's exactly how I want to spend my night," Joey said as he and Ross walked towards Chandler who was standing with Monica. Chandler was pounding back another shot. Monica looked absolutely petrified as Ross and Joey led Chandler away from the booze. They would figure something out.

It was six o'clock the next morning, he was laying in his bed when he was gently woken up by Phoebe. He woke up with a start and looked towards the door and back towards Phoebe. She had just walked in without knocking.

"One day, we should totally start locking the doors. It can't be safe," Joey said. "Phoebe, why are you here?"

"I broke with Gary."

"When?"

"About an hour ago. He shot a bird."

"On purpose?" Joey asked, that was a little odd.

Phoebe nodded as he made room for her in his bed. She lay down next to him as he pulled the covers over both of them and wrapped his arms around her.

"Where's Chandler?"

"Sleeping in Monica's room. Passed out."

"Oh. He scares me."

"I think he scares a lot of people. Except himself and that's the problem."

"Well….you got your wish, I'm not dating Gary."

"I may have to pay him a visit."

"Joey, I don't want anything to happen to him," Phoebe said, turning and looking at him.

"It's actually not your call now."

"What do you mean?"

"It may be me paying a visit or Tony or Christopher or….one of Tony's associates. He's digging deep and going up against some people he shouldn't really be going up against."

"I don't want you paying him a visit," Phoebe said.

"I won't."

"He knew so much stuff, Joey. A lot. I already knew about the four arrests but….what did you do? What was your job for Tony?"

"You're not wearing a wire, are you?"

"You're currently feeling me up, do you feel a wire?" Phoebe asked.

"No. I would um...I would bring people to Tony and they would….well kill 'em. I would bring that person….remember the story Rachel told us about seeing a guy being dragged out of his house? She was sure it was a mob hit."

"Yeah."

"It was."

"Oh G-d….wait-"

"I was the one with the gun getting the guy out of the house."

"Wow."

"I've done a lot of shit I'm not proud of," Joey said.

"You and me both," Phoebe said as she leaned in and kissed him, "if you could help it, I don't want anything happening to Gary."

"This might be bigger than you or me or a dead bird. The feds are looking into Tony. Gary is also digging around so he could get info to the feds. They want Tony Soprano in prison and they're gonna do everything they can to track him down. I mean, if Gary arrested Tony Soprano it would be a big career changer for him but Tony's gonna make sure that doesn't happen."

"Oh. I'm glad you're out of that life."

"Me too but nothing is gonna happen to you right?"

"I'm fine."

"Good."

They leaned in and kissed each other as soon the benefits part of their friendship became apparent. They always seemed to know exactly how to treat each other and what to do to make each other happy although he was never sure why they could never just date. It would be so easy but maybe it would always be better to just have benefits to their friendship. That worked too.

Monica had planned a thirtieth birthday for Chandler on the roof of the building. She had made macaroni and cheese and they had set up a projection screen. Ross was setting up movies, Monica was getting nervous and Phoebe and Rachel were sitting together on two of the lawn chairs, chatting and Joey kept eating the mac and cheese as Monica approached him, frantic.

"Joey, stop eating the mac and cheese. Okay, where is he? Joey, go get him. Call him," Monica said.

"I will. Don't worry, Mon," Joey said as he walked towards the door that led from the roof to inside the building. He practically ran down the stairs and opened the door to his apartment when he saw Chandler walking towards his bedroom with a bottle of vodka and a glass. Joey slammed the door shut as loudly as he could. Chandler jumped and turned around, looking like a kid who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Having a party?" Joey asked.

"No. I'm...I thought you were out," Chandler said.

"Forgetting your birthday was a mistake. It doesn't mean we hate you. It doesn't mean we want you to leave," Joey said, choosing his words very carefully.

"I never said that."

"I know you. Chandler, we're going to see the Mets tomorrow. Everyone feels bad. There was no deeper meaning behind this. Hey, I wish you guys had missed my birthday."

"Well...easy for you to say, you're only twenty nine," Chandler smirked.

"Twenty two," Joey shot back.

"I'm...I'm a mess."

Chandler glanced at the floor, still holding the bottle of vodka and the glass. Joey hated these emotions that he felt for his friend. He wanted to punch him in the face, but also wanted to hug him and take away whatever pain was there.

"I know...I'm not letting you die," Joey said.

"I'm not gonna-"

"No, shut up. It was stupid. We shouldn't have forgotten your birthday. But you're gonna throw away everything away because we forgot your birthday?" Joey asked.

"If it was important-"

"I'm not doing this. Let's go upstairs...to the roof," Joey said, sounding annoyed.

"Why?"

"'Cause...just come," Joey said.

Chandler nodded and walked towards Joey, placing the liquor on the counter and following Joey out the door and upstairs towards the roof. They did not speak although there was a lot Joey wanted to say. Plenty Joey wanted to say but instead he said nothing. Soon, they reached the roof and Joey opened the door as the two stepped outside. Joey looked at Chandler and Chandler took in the scene. Ross was by the projection machine. Rachel and Phoebe were sitting on patio chairs, drinking. There was a giant table filled with many, many trays of mac and cheese. Chandler looked over at Joey, who had a smirk on his face.

"Happy birthday, asshole," Joey muttered so only Chandler could hear. Chandler smiled as Monica ran up to him and threw her arms around him. She quickly kissed him.

"Surprise," Monica said, "we felt really bad. I'm a horrible girlfriend. I mean, who forgets their boyfriend's thirtieth birthday."

"I wish people had forgotten mine. Thirty one. I'm thirty one," Joey mumbled, feeling choked up again as he walked towards the table of food, figuring now it would be okay to eat.

"Nine more months, you'll be thirty two," Chandler teased.

"Shut up, man," Joey said.

"Chandler, I'm really sorry," Monica said.

"Yeah, we all are," Phoebe said.

"I'm not," Rachel said. The other five looked at her. "What? I'm the only one that remembered?"

"Then why didn't you tell us?" Phoebe asked.

"It's okay, guys. Really. I'm not mad," Chandler said.

"Really? You aren't going to use it as a reason to do stupid crap because you think no one would care?" Ross asked.

Joey looked up from the lobster mac and cheese and stared at Chandler wondering how he would respond to Ross' comment. Would he tell the truth? Would he lie?

"Ehhh, I thought about it...but I knew you felt really bad so that was enough for me. So what do we have?" Chandler asked. Joey shook his head, it was unbelievable how good Chandler was at lying. It really did scare him. Monica wrapped her arm around Chandler's waist as she led him to the trays of mac and cheese.

"Oh, we have movies. It's set up and ready to go," Ross said.

"We have to see the Hot Dog movie first," Chandler said.

"No, we don't. If a movie sucks when you're fifteen and sixteen, it's gonna suck forever," Rachel said.

"Yeah, but Phoebe and Gary broke up. So we have to watch it," Chandler said.

"Thank you, Chandler. But we don't have to. It is a horrible movie and I'm okay," Phoebe said.

"No, we have to watch it. It's tradition...and then Rach, we can watch _Weekend at Bernie's_ followed by _Animal House_ ," Chandler said, holding up the movies.

"Okay...fine. Let's watch the damn movie...and you're promising _Weekend at Bernie's_ immediately after?" Rachel asked.

"Yep, I'll even kick Joey in the crotch as a preview," Chandler said.

"You do and I punch you in the head and throw you off the roof," Joey said.

"Alright, let's go. Hot Dog movie," Rachel said.

Chandler handed Ross the movie. Ross took it and got it ready as the rest of the group loaded up on mac and cheese and began watching. Joey had to make himself two plates as there was just too much mac and cheese to choose from. He could hear the Hot Dog movie begin and it was a horrible movie. When Phoebe was sixteen she had apparently run into Chandler as he was seeing this movie. Joey didn't mind the movie. It had naked chicks in it. Once his plates were filled, he sat with Ross, Rachel and Phoebe. Ross was messing with Rachel and teasing her about hating the movie.

"Is Rachel angry about the Hot Dog movie again?" Joey said.

"They are skiing naked. You cannot ski naked," Rachel said.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it," Ross said.

"You're a dumbass," Rachel said.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Ross grinned. Rachel stuck out her tongue at him. Ross laughed as he wrapped his arm around her.

"So how are you?" Joey asked Phoebe as he sat closer to her.

"I'm okay. G-d, would you look at these two?" Phoebe grinned. Monica and Chandler snuggled up together, Ross and Rachel were snuggled together.

"Yeah, we're the better pair though," Joey said.

"Duh. That's not even a fair contest," Phoebe said.

Phoebe rested against Joey. He placed an arm around her while trying to eat. It was difficult but he was impressed with himself. It was funny though, to anyone looking at the six of them in that moment, they looked like three couples, not one couple, one on again-off again couple and one pair that was strictly friends with benefits. Each pair came with drama, baggage and tears yet they each came with so much history and an unbreakable bond.

The first thing Joey did when movie night ended was go to the bathroom. He had held it in as long as he could and he ran into his apartment, ignoring Chandler yelling after him and went into the bathroom to see it clogged. That seemed odd to him. He hadn't clogged it. He walked out of the bathroom to see Chandler staring at him.

"It's clogged," Joey said.

"Yeah."

"Did I clog it?" Joey asked.

"No. It was me….I um-"

"How did you clog it?" Joey asked, trying to ignore the wild beating in his chest. His gut told him something had happened. Monica and Chandler had disappeared for a while during the movie night and Monica had looked upset when she returned.

"I...um...toilet paper."

"Chandler. Did you flush something down the toilet?"

"It was just one bottle. I only got one bottle, that was it," Chandler said, sounding very flustered.

Joey glared at him before turning and walking into Chandler's room to begin looking for drugs. Chandler didn't even stop him this time, didn't even say anything to him. Joey kept looking and found nothing. He turned back as he saw Chandler still rooted to his spot. He lunged towards Chandler, shoving him back just as Monica opened the door.

"Joey," Monica said as Chandler fell back and she ran between both of them, stretching her arms out to keep Joey from lunging again. It made him furious. Why did he make it so hard?

"I'm gonna kill you," Joey said.

"No, you're not," Monica said, "Chandler, are you okay?"

"Yes. Joey, I'm sorry...it was the one bottle," Chandler said. "I'm done. I'm not gonna do it again."

"He had drugs on him tonight. You were gonna take pills," Joey said, "you've been clean for over two years."

"Boys, it's okay. Stop. We talked about it already, I already got mad. Okay," Monica said.

"Who's your dealer?" Joey asked.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Who is your dealer? Where do you get these pills?" Joey asked.

"I'm not gonna tell you. It's a guy, he calls his brother and…"

"What's his brother's name?" Joey asked.

"I don't want to tell you because you'll do something and-"

"He won't. Joey, you won't do anything, right? But I kinda want to know too. Where are you getting them? Who do you buy them from?" Monica asked.

"I'm going to bed," Chandler said, getting up and walking into his bedroom. Monica looked at Joey, sadly.

"He loves us more than the addiction. There were no other pills in his bedroom," Joey said.

"I almost dumped him tonight. This is hard, this is really hard but I mean, we did fuck up….even still….G-d, fuck, this is so hard."

"I know."

"I wish I didn't love him so much. It would be so much easier," Monica said.

"Yep, I'm right there with you. You go to bed. I'm gonna use the bathroom in your place," Joey said as he gave her a hug before walking into Monica and Rachel's apartment. After using their bathroom, he walked out and thought he heard noises coming from Rachel's room. He slowly crept towards her door.

"Oh, Ross….oh, baby….okay, okay and now I will take my tongue and slowly run my tongue up and down your body and…."

Joey's mouth dropped. Rachel and Ross were having phone sex? Oh, this was too good of an opportunity. He shuffled slowly into the living room and peered across the way. Ross' apartment was completely dark. He went back into his apartment and towards Chandler's room. He knocked and was pleasantly surprised when they told him he could come in. He saw them lying side by side, glad he hadn't interrupted anything.

"Chandler, come play with me real quick," Joey said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"It's past midnight," Monica said.

"Come with me and play. I need you," Joey said.

"What's going on?" Chandler asked.

"I just walked past Rachel's room. She and Ross are having phone sex," Joey said.

"Ewwww," Monica said.

"I saw an opportunity. I figured you'd want to play," Joey said.

Chandler looked at Monica and then at Joey, a huge smile slowly appeared on his face as he jumped out of bed and ran out of the room. Monica laughed.

"I don't even want to know what you boys are gonna do just don't mess up my stuff and I'll just stay here and cut off my ears," Monica said.

"Perfect. 'Cause you're not really invited to be part of this," Joey said.

"I know. Thank you, Joey."

"We're in this," Joey said.

"Joe, I got the balloons, come on. Hurry," Chandler yelled.

Joey ran to the kitchen and the two boys began filling the balloons with water. When they felt they had enough, they walked back into Monica and Rachel's apartment and towards Rachel's room. They got closer to her door when they heard her.

"Oh, oh, Ross...yeah, yes….that's amazing, I love when you kiss me like that," Rachel moaned.

"On three," Chandler whispered.

"Why three? Just do it," Joey whispered back.

"Three's better," Chandler said.

"No, it's not. Let's go, dumbass," Joey said when suddenly they jumped into Rachel's room. She screamed at the sight of them as they pelted her with water balloons. The two boys were cracking up as they high fived each other.

"I'm gonna kill you both," Rachel said, getting up. She was completely drenched.

"Wait, what's going on?" Ross asked, through the telephone, "Rachel? Are you okay?"

"Sexy dinosaur," Joey yelled.

"Ross is a horny dinosaur," Chandler said.

"I'm gonna call Tony Soprano and order a hit on both of you," Rachel said.

"You can't do it that way," Joey said.

Rachel hung up and got out of the bed and started to move towards them.

"See, she doesn't do it on three," Joey said.

"Let's discuss while we run," Chandler said as he and Joey turned and ran out the apartment and into their apartment. They ran into Chandler's room and shut the door as Rachel was pounding on the door.

"I'm gonna kill you. I'm so gonna kill you," Rachel yelled.

"Happy birthday, buddy," Joey said.

"Thanks and I'm sorry."

"I know. I'm sorry too. It's all good. I love you man," Joey said.

"Yeah, love you too...by the way, where's Monica?" Chandler asked.

Joey looked over at the bed. Monica wasn't there. That was odd. They looked back at the door. It was now strangely quiet outside. Rachel had stopped pounding on the door.

"Did Rachel give up?" Joey asked.

Joey and Chandler exchanged a look as they slowly opened the door and stepped out into the living room. It was strangely empty.

"Monica?" Chandler asked.

"Rachel?" Joey asked.

They stepped into the middle of the living room, a little confused when suddenly Monica and Rachel popped up from behind the counter and began pelting them with water balloons. The boys started laughing as the two girls high fived each other.

"Monica," Chandler said, shocked.

"Sorry, baby, I love you but….sisters before misters," Monica said, placing an arm around Rachel.

"Yeah, baby," Rachel said.

"Great, you want to know what your metaphorical sister wanted to do to you literal brother?" Chandler asked which made Monica cringe.

"You know, I should probably call him to let him know I haven't been killed," Rachel mused.

"Or…." Chandler said as the foursome exchanged looks and without having to say a word, filled up more water balloons. They all then proceeded to walk across the street into Ross' building and up to his apartment. When they knocked on the door however, they were greeted by Ross and a water gun. He began spraying them as they started pelting him, laughing hysterically as the games continued. It did seem that these late night games were the perfect thing that made up for forgetting Chandler's birthday. He seemed happier which made all of them happier.


	39. Chapter 39

**May 1999**

He was sitting at a table at Sparks with Kristi, Christopher and Christopher's newest girlfriend, Adriana. Adriana looked strangely like Gina, it was really weird especially when Christopher would start kissing her, Joey kept having to fight the urge to tell him not to kiss his sister. They were meeting to celebrate. It was a dinner celebration for him. He had gotten a role in a movie filming in Vegas. It was called Shutterspeed and while it was an indie and he would not get paid unless the movie made money, it was still a movie. He kinda liked the idea of filming in Vegas. There were a lot of logistics to figure out but he was still starring in the movie even if he didn't have a place to stay.

"Maybe we can all go. Road trip," Christopher said. "There are musicians there in Vegas, Adriana you can record."

"I know, I know, I know some guys. I really need to work on my album and I've been writing some new stuff," Adriana said.

"I'm not road tripping with you, I'm road tripping with Chandler," Joey said.

It was his first choice, as soon as he heard about the movie, he wanted to take Chandler.

"Chandler?" Adriana asked.

"His Sugar Daddy," Christopher said.

"Not my Sugar Daddy," Joey said.

"They broke up," Kristi said.

"We did not. It's just now a threesome," Joey grinned.

"Awww," Kristi said, patting his arm.

"But I should come with you," Christopher said, "I could learn some things."

"What? Are you thinking about being an actor?" Joey asked.

"A writer. A screenwriter," Christopher said.

"You can't even spell your own name," Joey said.

"No, look, after the exclusion-" Christopher said.

"Exclusion?" Joey asked.

"Oh, tell him. You'll love this, Joe," Kristi said.

"It hurt," Christopher said.

"He's upset cause he was excluded in being named a suspect in a grand jury investigation," Adriana said.

"Are you joking?" Joey asked, cocking his head to the side. That seemed like a weird reason to be upset.

"I do so much shit for Tony and his crew and to be slighted like that, it stings," Christopher said.

"You're stupid," Joey said.

"I'm Tony's right hand man, ever since you pussied out, it's me. I do so much for that man," Christopher said.

"Are you listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth?" Joey asked.

"I'm just saying and that's why I think I wanna be a writer. I could write a mob movie. I could write about all this shit," Christopher said.

"Does Tony know about this?" Joey asked.

"No," Christopher said.

"Can I be there when you tell him?" Joey asked.

"I won't use real names," Christopher said.

"You can't use yours either," Joey said.

"I wasn't even named in the investigation, no one knows who I am," Christopher said.

"Oh, you probably can't use Joey's name either," Kristi said.

"That should go without saying," Joey said.

"Why wouldn't I use your name?" Christopher asked.

"Okay, maybe it does need to be said. No, my name should be nowhere near your screenplay," Joey said.

"You're the draw, Dr. Drake. Okay, I could open with a two kids named, Chris and Joey burying Willie Overall in a basement after Tony shoots him dead. That'll be awesome, " Christopher said.

"No," Joey said.

"Fine, I'll change names. Chrisafter and Joseph," Christopher said.

"What is wrong with you? I'm shooting a movie in Vegas. No, and...just no," Joey said.

"Yeah, you're acting like he's gonna get this movie made," Kristi said.

"You don't know, it's like The Godfather. People eat up that stuff," Christopher said.

"Yeah, but The Godfather is good," Joey said.

"You wait and see, Mr. Hollywood," Christopher said.

Joey laughed thinking about Christopher's movie. He could just imagine how that would go. Maybe he shouldn't be too worried about it. Christopher didn't really have a way with words. He was pretty sure he had nothing to worry about at least he didn't think so. He still wouldn't bring Christopher or Adriana on this road trip. It would only be for him and Chandler.

He had planned for it to be a cool road trip. He and Chandler, together, they could be like a crime fighting duo driving across the country together. They could talk and reconnect away from the others. He was truly looking forward to actually getting to hang out with him but the road trip, the dream and fantasy ended before it could even begin. Yes, the movie sounded a little weird. He wasn't even getting paid but he wanted support, he wanted Chandler to say his movie would work and that he wasn't just being ridiculous but Chandler couldn't do that so he kicked him out on the Brooklyn Bridge and continued to drive across the country, thinking about Vegas. He could meet up with old Los Angeles friends he hadn't seen in a long time. He could do other things, he was going to be in a movie. Maybe he could try again, being on his own.

Soon, he realized he would have to be okay with it. Once he arrived in Vegas, his worst fears were confirmed. The movie got shut down and he needed money to get back to New York. He had no money and he didn't want to drive back all alone. He didn't want to admit that Chandler was right. He felt like an idiot and depressed. He was able to land a job at Caesars Palace dressed as a gladiator taking pictures with tourists. He felt he could maybe save up gas money so he could get back home and maybe do something else with his life. He was getting tired of this, tired of the rejection, tired of grasping at anything to be successful in this career. Maybe he could do something else? He liked construction. He liked hammering nails, building things. Maybe he could work on cars? Mechanic? He could do that? It just was not fun anymore.

When he saw Monica, Chandler and Phoebe walk into Caesar's Palace, his heart dropped to his stomach when he knew he had been found out. He had no choice but to explain what happened but it didn't really matter. Monica had planned a first year anniversary trip to Vegas that Phoebe had crashed and Ross and Rachel would be coming later to. Monica had had lunch with her ex-boyfriend, Richard so now Monica and Chandler were fighting. Leave it to any other drama to eclipse his own. He found Chandler in his hotel room, pounding back the little mini bottles of liquor from the fridge.

"Really? That's productive," Joey said, annoyed. He wanted to smack the bottles out of his hand.

"What do want, Joe?"

"Wanted to check on you...and apologize, again, I should've told you my movie got canceled but I just-"

"It's fine," Chandler said as he downed the bottle of vodka.

"Let's go do something...I'm done with work."

"This is the worst anniversary ever. And...and I should've known, right? It was way too good to be true. Of course she'd go back to Richard."

"She had lunch with him, she didn't fuck him," Joey said.

"She wants to."

"She told you that?"

"She didn't have to. I could see it in her eyes. I can see her lusting after hunky mustache man."

"You sure that's not you?" Joey asked.

"She's leaving me for Richard. She is."

"How come when you freak out, you turn you into a whining fourteen year old girl?" Joey asked.

"You're not helping."

"Because you're being stupid. You know she's not leaving you for Richard. It was probably just lunch and lunch is the least important meal of the day. They just put it there as a speed bump between breakfast and dinner. No one gives a crap about lunch. Oooo, let's get ribs?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Chandler asked.

"Let's go play...we're in Vegas. We should go to a strip club."

"I don't wanna go to a strip club."

"So you wanna sulk in here and drink?" Joey asked.

"Yes."

"I understand...are you PMSing?" Joey asked.

"Leave me alone."

"I'm not. Let's go out...I hate moping Chandler. I want gets drunk off his ass and sleeps with strippers, Chandler."

"That's you."

"Yeah...it's a great life I lead."

Chandler let out a snort as he reached for another bottle, this time of Bacardi and opened it. He downed it.

"I'm a mess," Chandler said.

"You are. Doesn't this get old?"

"What?"

"Being in a constant state of mess?"

"Leave me alone," Chandler said.

Joey let out an annoyed sigh as Monica walked into the room. She looked like she had been crying. Joey gave her a look when she shook her head.

"Hey...did I interrupt something?" Monica asked.

"No, I was gonna go take him to see some strippers," Joey said.

"Lovely. Phoebe's at the bar downstairs, Joe...can I talk to Chandler alone?"

"Sure. I'll go play with Pheebs. Be careful, Mon. Chandler's PMSing," Joey said.

"I am not...go away, Joey," Chandler said.

Joey laughed as he walked out, slamming the door shut behind him. After changing into his regular clothes, he met Phoebe at the bar. She seemed sad as well. This just seemed dumb. If they were all going to crash Vegas to see him, they could at least be happy about it.

"Why are you sad?" Joey asked, getting himself a drink.

"I'm not really supposed to be here," Phoebe said.

"Me neither. I'm supposed to be shooting a movie."

"Sorry. It's just….am I mean person? Monica was here and crying and...and I'm so happy that Monica and Chandler have made it a year but….one time at lunch, Rachel and I drank too much and I bet against them and I thought they would break up 'cause Chandler would freak...it's….my opinion of him has changed so much and I hate that."

"He is freaking out now," Joey said.

"I don't want them too."

"You're not a horrible person."

"I'm sorry about your movie," Phoebe said.

"Me too. I actually liked the idea of it and I really thought this would be it but once again...nope. I hate this. I wanna quit."

"Are you done?" Phoebe asked.

"Yep."

"You wanna play with me? I feel like we should leave Monica and Chandler alone. Ross and Rachel aren't coming until later, so it's just you and me?"

"Let's play. You're the only one i wanna play with."

Phoebe smiled as they finished their drinks they headed out in the world of Vegas. He was thrilled to have Phoebe there as he hadn't really played in Vegas since he got there. Vegas wasn't really fun without someone there to enjoy it with and now he had his partner, his other half when he wasn't talking about Chandler and one of the first things Phoebe suggested they do was go watch Chandler's dad.

He knew what Chandler had told him, that his father was a drag queen in Vegas and had a show called Viva Las Gaygas. Phoebe said she had gone with Duncan years ago and decided now would be the time to take Joey. They sat together at a tiny circular table and Joey watched in amazement as a man dressed as Marilyn Monroe and referring to himself as Helena Handbasket took the stage and began to sing.

"That's his father?" Joey asked.

"Yep," Phoebe grinned.

"Wow...explains so much," Joey said.

Phoebe laughed as they watched the show. When Helena came out into the audience, he recognized Phoebe immediately and gave her a wink.

"You have an in," Joey said.

"I saw him on my wedding night to Duncan."

"I can't believe you married him."

"You don't understand…have you ever been in love?"

"No."

"You lead a sad life."

"Awww, but I don't….well, this movie aside."

"I'm sorry, Joey."

"No...and inside I knew this movie was gonna suck but I hoped….really, I could call Tony and just hammer nails. I don't have to know about the other stuff."

"No, no you can't."

"Christopher wants to write a mobster movie and he's also sad he wasn't named in a federal investigation."

"Isn't that supposed to be a good thing?"

"I thought so."

"I haven't heard anything from Gary," Phoebe said. "Is he still alive?"

"I don't know. He might be alive."

"And you know, when Duncan dumped me...now that I know you….what you and Chandler did after? Sending him the gay porn? That sounds like it was a Chandler idea. What did you want to do?"

"I'm not telling. It wouldn't have been bad, just...uncomfortable."

"Oh, thank you for listening to Chandler," Phoebe said.

"Should have listened about Shutterspeed too," Joey groaned.

They continued watching and Joey was tempted to call Chandler but he wondered what his friend would think if he knew that they were seeing his father. He wondered if Chandler would be upset. Chandler had no intention of seeing his dad, he knew that even when they had been planning their trip. He had no intention of being anywhere near his dad.

After the show, Phoebe, Helena and Joey headed out to a cafe. Phoebe was beyond cheerful and Joey kept staring. Phoebe kept talking as Joey tried to take in everything. Helena looked like Chandler and also a little bit like Kathleen Turner. It was all just so insane. This was how Chandler grew up?

"So Duncan turned out to be straight?" Helena asked.

"Yes and then married a woman. He divorced me," Phoebe said.

"Bastard," Helena said.

"I know and then well, I just broke up with a guy named, Gary. He was a cop."

"You dated a cop?"

"I know, I know."

"Honey, you can't date cops."

Joey let out a snort. Helena had no clue how true that was.

"He was nice and very accepting," Phoebe said, grinning."But we broke up because he shot a bird."

"Excuse me?"

"Exactly. So now I'm single again."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, dear. You will meet someone."

"I hope so. Oh, I have to tell you...you have the most amazing son, ever. You know what he did?" Phoebe asked.

"I do. He paid for your education. I know what he does with his trust fund money," Helena said.

"Amazing. He's incredible. I'm no longer homeless. I paid for my own plane ticket. I have a job...he changed my entire life. Thank you, Bing Family Trust."

"Yeah. Well it doesn't surprise me. Now, he's using his trust fund money to help some actor," Helena said.

"That's him," Phoebe said, pointing at Joey, "that's the some actor."

"Really?" Helena asked.

"Yep, but I bet he's regretting that investment now," Joey said.

"Joey had a movie to shoot in Vegas but it got shut down," Phoebe said.

"Honey, that's show business. So...you know my son, too?"

"Yeah...he's my roommate...and you're his father," Joey said.

"He just turned thirty, right?" Helena asked.

"A month ago," Phoebe said.

"Oh...wait, is he here?" Helena asked.

Helena looked so sad at that news. Joey just couldn't even imagine. Despite his issues with his family, he couldn't imagine not even visiting with his family if he knew they were in town.

"Um...well..." Phoebe said.

"It's okay. So, tell me...is he happy?" Helena asked.

"Yeah. He has a girlfriend. They've been dating for a year and he...he's an executive. He has an amazing office with a view of New York and he...well he's got us," Phoebe said.

"He's got friends?" Helena asked.

"Yeah, me and Joey...and these two other friends of ours, Ross and Rachel and then of course, his girlfriend. Yeah, he's really happy," Phoebe said.

"Is he clean?" Helena asked.

"You know about the drugs?" Joey asked.

That was odd to him. He knew that his mother only knew about the first time Chandler had struggled with drugs but Chandler had not told his mom about the second time and he wasn't even sure Chandler had told his dad about either time.

"Yeah, I do. I know. Is he clean?" Helena asked.

"He's clean. He had a little bit of a struggle about two years ago, but he's definitely clean now," Phoebe said.

"We're taking care of him," Joey said.

"Good. Tell him I love him and I'm proud of him," Helena said.

Phoebe and Joey exchanged looks and nodded. Joey let Phoebe continue to do the talking. It was all so bizarre to him. Chandler and Phoebe, their lives were so messed up. So crazy. Ross, Monica, Rachel and himself all had generally normal lives growing up. Sure there were dramas and thanks to the Soprano family, there were plenty of things that he witnessed that he could go to prison for but Phoebe and Chandler were just so different.

After saying goodbye to Helena Handbasket, Joey and Phoebe walked around the strip, absorbing the energy of Vegas. They were both silent. She linked her arm in his as the lights and the noise of the strip enveloped them both.

"I don't know if I'll ever get it," Joey said.

"Get what?" Phoebe asked.

"What you and Chandler have gone through. I have a crazy family. My father has a mistress yet my parents have been happily married for fifty two years. They had me at twenty followed by seven more kids. By the time they were thirty years old, they had eight children under the age of ten. It was a crazy household but I never felt abandoned or unloved. I always had more than enough. I was the only son, too. I got my own room. I was never alone. Sometimes I wanted to be, but I never was. Then I hear what you two have gone through. You and Chandler...and I see Chandler's dad and it's just...it's weird," Joey said although not quite sure if he had the math right on how long his parents had been married for or when they started having children? He made a mental note to ask about that, he probably should know.

"You don't have too, Joey. I'm glad you don't get it."

"It makes me feel sad though. You and Chandler mean a lot to me and knowing you guys had this much pain...I wish I could have done something. I wish I could have gone back to that night that I saw you on New Years Eve in Times Square and taken you home with me. My parents would have taken you in, believe me."

"I know."

Joey let out a sigh as they continued walking, Phoebe placing her head on Joey's shoulder. Vegas has not started the way he wanted but standing there with Phoebe, walking with her, it was perfect. He did love the girl walking next to him. Ross could have Rachel. Chandler could have Monica. He would always choose Phoebe.

"So...you banged Jethro Tull?" Joey asked.

Phoebe laughed as she looked at him, he was smiling at her. It was a broad smile. In the midst of all the stories she and Helena had shared, that was one he felt he needed a little more explanation on.

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"You slept with an entire band?" Joey asked.

"Well...yeah. I was twenty one," Phoebe argued. "They were at the restaurant where my friend was working. Oh, shut up. What did you do on your twenty first birthday?"

"I don't remember," Joey said, truthfully. "Then on your twentieth, you got married in Vegas?"

"Yep...by Chandler's dad."

"You're awesome, Pheebs."

"Thank you."

"So, tell me more about this twenty first birthday of yours?" Joey asked.

Phoebe let out a snort as she happily launched into the story of how she had ended up spending her twenty first birthday with Jethro Tull. There had been a private jet. She had been working at a novelty shop at Port Authority and Jethro Tull had come into the bar that her friend, SueAnn worked at. There was flirting and soon they spent four days together in their suite, drinking, partying. Joey loved this story. It was amazing.

When they got back to the hotel, they walked back to Joey's room. They had decided to engage in the benefits part of their friendship and began kissing. He kept kissing her. It had been such a miserable few weeks and being with Phoebe would make it all better. It was very early the next morning, Joey wasn't sure of the time although it didn't matter.

"I think you have a message," Phoebe said.

"I'll get it later," Joey said.

"No, but what if it's Chandler and Monica...or Ross and Rachel. Have you had heard from them? I haven't spoken to them since they got here," Phoebe said.

"Hmmm, yeah, I saw them briefly. They were both drunk," Joey said as he continued kissing Phoebe's neck. That wasn't necessarily true. He had seen them when they were checking in and he and Phoebe were about to hit the town. Phoebe hadn't noticed them and he just wanted to hang out with Phoebe.

"No, Joey...get your messages," Phoebe said.

"Can't I do that later?"

"No...it could be one of our friends. The friends part comes before the benefits."

"I disagree," Joey said.

"Joey."

"Fine," Joey said, reaching for the phone and pressing a button. Sometimes he truly did hate the friendship part and wished they could just have the benefits. His mood was quickly diminished when he heard Rachel's voice on the other end. She sounded drunk, very drunk.

"Hi, I gotta go get married to Ross….and am I talking to Ross? No am I not. Who am I talking to? We're going to the chapel and we're gonna married. The little white one, man…..who is this? Shit…it's either Phoebe or Joey or Ronica-Monica-Channer….oh, Channer….okay, come to the wedding. Unless I don't know you then don't come to the wedding. Bye-bye. Nachos. Nacho nachos. That's funny. Okay, bye."

Rachel hung up. The message sounded hilarious and he tried not to laugh but there was one thing that kept him from laughing, one detail.

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"Ross and Rachel are getting married."

"Wh-what?" Phoebe asked.

The two barely spoke to each other as they quickly put their clothes back on and raced out of the room to the chapel. When they finally reached the chapel, they saw Monica and Chandler standing together., looking even more stunned.

"Are you here for the wedding?" Joey asked.

"Sure," Chandler said.

"The wedding, yeah, the wedding," Monica said.

Suddenly, the doors to the chapel swung open and out came Ross and Rachel very drunk and now newly married. They didn't see the other four as the ran out of the chapel and into the Vegas night. The four stared at each other, not sure what they could possibly say.

"So we saw your dad," Joey said, trying to break the tension. Monica, Chandler and Phoebe looked at him, confused.

"Bing and Geller?" the receptionist asked. "We're ready for your wedding. Elvis is in the building and will see you now."

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"What?" Joey asked.

Monica and Chandler looked at each other and back at them. We're they going to get married? What the hell was going on?

"Ummmm…." Chandler said.

"Not tonight," Monica said.

"Really?" Chandler asked.

"We can't….Ross and Rachel beat us to it," Monica said and with that, she walked out of the chapel with the others running after her, still confused. Eventually, they walked towards a diner and ordered lots and lots and dessert and coffee. Monica looked pissed, Joey wanted answers.

"Last I left you, you were fighting? Now you're getting married or were?" Joey asked.

"I don't-and none of you are supposed to be here. This is my anniversary," Monica said.

"Our anniversary?" Chandler asked.

"Wait, I'm supposed to be here," Joey said.

"Sorry…it's just...no, it's fine," Monica said. "I just...see, this is why Chandler and I kept it secret or….I love Ross and Rachel but why does it have to consume us all. This was…"

"I'm sorry, I really am," Phoebe said.

"It's not your fault," Monica said.

"I feel like it is...I so badly wanted to be with you guys because when you were in London, you guys got together and-I should have stayed home and I'm really sorry," Phoebe said.

"Pheebs, it's okay," Monica said, "I'm not mad at you. I was a little but it's switched. I hate that they do this. Can't I just have this one moment? It's my anniversary."

"Our anniversary," Chandler said.

"Ehh, you were gonna dump me for him," Monica said, pointing at Joey.

"Still might be a possibility," Chandler joked. Monica laughed as Chandler placed an arm around her and kissed her head.

"Yeah, baby," Joey said, high fiving Chandler, "why don't you come over tonight. I'll show you a happy anniversary."

"G-d, you two are weird," Phoebe said.

"I know, it sucks when your boyfriend has a boyfriend," Monica teased.

"I'm fine with it," Chandler said.

"Me too," Joey said.

"So...something else that's weird, you guys saw my dad?" Chandler asked.

"We saw his show. We went out to eat after. It was cool. You wanna go find him?" Joey asked.

"No, no….I'm fine," Chandler said.

"You know, he said he was proud of you. I told him about the money and he already knew and he also already knew about the drugs and he still said he was proud of you," Phoebe said.

"He is?" Chandler asked.

"Yep. Thought you should know," Phoebe said.

"Thanks," Chandler said, "I don't wanna see him though."

"And Phoebe had sex with Jethro Tull," Joey said.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Not recently," Phoebe said.

"I love this story," Chandler said.

"You know it?" Joey said.

"Oh yeah," Chandler said.

"Alright, I'll tell it again," Phoebe said launching into the story. As Phoebe told it though, he kept thinking about Chandler and Monica. Yes, there was the Ross and Rachel drama but that did not change the fact that there was another wedding that would have happened. Chandler was about to get married? He and Monica were? He wasn't sure how he felt about that? He was thrilled sure but this changed things. His friendship with Chandler, in particular? There were so many mixed emotions

After they had filled up on dessert, they headed back to their hotel rooms. Joey figured he'd sleep in Phoebe's room not wanting to sleep alone. As he was about to walk in, Chandler stopped him. The two stood alone in the hall as Phoebe and Monica disappeared into their respective rooms.

"You alright?" Chandler asked. "I wanted to check in with you."

"Yeah. You were gonna get married?"

"Not without my Best Man," Chandler said.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Chandler said, "and...I mean...yeah, I wanna marry her... hey, this doesn't change us."

"It does though….I mean, you wanna get married to her? Right?"

"Yeah."

"It changes things. I may have to hang out with Ross more," Joey said.

"He's married now, too," Chandler said. "I'm also sorry about the movie."

"I should have known. I'm thinking it might be time for me to change careers."

"Why would you change careers?"

"Come on. Clearly, I'm not good at this?"

"Look, I may have thought the movie was stupid but you acting is not. You're good at it. This was a set back but don't give up. You'll get there. You're a good actor, Joe."

"Thanks," Joey said as he and Chandler hugged, he appreciated the support. He watched as Chandler disappeared back into his room. He wasn't sure why it made him so sad, but it did. He wanted things the way they were, the way they had been before. He hated this change, the change was driving him crazy.

The next morning, the group gathered for breakfast. Ross and Rachel seemed very unaware of anything that had happened. The rest of the group stared at them as they sat and poured each other coffee.

"What-what's going on?" Rachel asked.

"Well, are we going to talk about what you two did last night?" Chandler asked.

"What did we do?" Rachel asked.

"You got married," Joey said. He knew they were drunk but did they really not remember?

"We did-" Rachel began before looking at Ross and soon realizing it. Their eyes widening as they stared at each other in shock.

"Oh my G-d," Ross said.

"You invited us to the wedding," Phoebe said.

"We were really drunk. How did they let us get married?" Ross asked.

"It's Vegas. They'll let you do anything here," Joey shrugged.

"Oh my G-d….well we have to….we have to do something. Ross-" Rachel said.

"We will get it annulled and we'll-that's what you'll do...we'll-" Ross said.

"Can I say something?" Monica said, "this is Chandler and I's anniversary. We've been together, committed for a year and this was supposed to be our trip. I wanted it to be about us and not this. Honestly, this is supposed to be our celebration and not about Ross and Rachel getting married last night and…Ross, you're gonna divorced again?"

"Annulled," Ross said.

"Whatever….it's just….it's a big deal, we've made it a whole year. Chandler Bing has made it an entire year in a committed relationship," Monica said.

"I'm proud," Chandler said.

"You should be but can we please make this about us...please?" Monica asked as the other four exchanged looks. Monica did have a point, despite the fact that he was supposed to be here there was a part of Joey that thought it would have been so much more fun if it had been the three of them. Rachel picked up her mimosa.

"Alright, we will discuss our marriage later….to Chandler and Monica," Rachel said.

"Yes, to Chandler and Monica and thank you for letting me invite myself," Phoebe said, lifting her mimosa as well. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Joey lifted their glasses as well and clinked them. Monica and Chandler shared a quick kiss as they drank. Ross and Rachel kept exchanging looks. They would soon be leaving Vegas. Phoebe had decided she would ride with Joey while the others flew back and it seemed that what was said about Vegas was definitely not going to be true in the case of the six. What happened in Vegas would change everything back home in New York.


	40. Chapter 40

**May 1999-October 1999**

When they finally returned from Vegas, Joey knew it was just a matter of time. Monica and Chandler had almost gotten married and they had been together a year. Hearing it wasn't any less painful. They sat with him at the kitchen table in Monica and Rachel's apartment, telling him how Chandler was moving out. He was gonna move in with Monica. It tore him inside.

"Okay, I get him for Rangers games and Knicks games," Joey argued. It was the only way the be fair.

"Fine and I get him on Saturdays...and Fridays...and Sundays," Monica said.

"Fine...Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays...and Thursdays are mine."

"Thursdays are mine. I'm the girlfriend. I get more days."

"Wait...what if there's a game on a weekend," Joey said.

"Can-can I get a say in this?" Chandler asked.

"No," they both said together which made Chandler laugh.

"Wow, there is nothing creepy about this discussion at all," Chandler joked.

"Fine, anytime there's a sports thingy, you can have him," Monica said.

"And for video games and...and if I wanna watch _Die Hard_...or _Baywatch_...or porn," Joey argued.

"Okay, it's weird that you two watch porn together," Monica said.

"Why? You and Rachel do that, don't you?" Joey asked, sounding worried. He always thought they had.

"They do, they do...right, Monica?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, fine...okay, okay...when I want to have sex, I get him," Monica said.

"Well..." Joey grinned.

"If you finish that sentence, I'm hitting you with a pan," Chandler said, giving him a look.

"Okay, how about this...I get him on the date nights, you get him...well, Tuesdays I work late so you two can have at it on Tuesdays," Monica said.

"Score," Joey said as he and Chandler high fived each other, making Monica laugh. "And Mon, you can have him on date nights unless there's a game or something and then we can switch?"

"Then we can switch," Monica said.

"And I am the Best Man when you two get married for real," Joey said.

"Um...my Best Man?" Chandler asked.

Chandler had made that promise in Vegas? Had he forgotten? Had he just said it in the spur of the moment? He could not take that back now.

"Yes," Joey said.

"Well...given the fact that I've known Ross longer and have been his Best Man for two out of his three weddings and he would be my brother in law-" Chandler said.

"If you choose Ross, I'll punch you in the head," Joey said, matter of factly.

"Okay, you'll be my Best Man," Chandler said.

"Thank you," Joey said. "Besides, you said in Vegas that I was your Best Man."

"I know but then….I thought about it….hey, I just asked a woman to live with me. I haven't planned the damn wedding yet," Chandler said.

"I have," Monica said.

"Shush you," Chandler said.

"Dating you is just so fun," Monica said.

"Well, Chandler….you know, Kristi and I are meeting for dinner, you wanna come? We apparently are running out of roommate time," Joey said.

"Of course," Chandler said.

"Mon, when you and Chan get married for real, can Kristi be my date?" Joey asked.

"No," Monica said.

"Why not?" Joey asked.

"Because there should be only one person at our wedding that has given Chandler a lap dance," Monica said.

"Oh, so you don't want me there either?" Joey asked.

"Dude, that was between us, man," Chandler said.

"Get out," Monica said.

Chandler and Joey laughed as they got up and walked out of the apartment. They ended up at Umbertos with Kristi drinking martinis and eating. Joey was complaining to Kristi about Chandler moving out. Chandler was sitting there seemingly enjoying it all.

"It's like you're breaking up," Kristi said.

"I know. When is this move happening?" Joey said.

"Probably before the end of the year," Chandler said.

"And they're gonna get married probably and Monica said you can't come to the wedding," Joey said, "but you'll still come to the bachelor party."

"Of course."

"Sorry….it's not that she doesn't like it...it would just-" Chandler said.

"Chandler, it's okay. But I am sad about you two….oh, and Joey you might have to get a job," Kristi said.

"Oh G-d," Joey said.

"Oh, oh, don't worry about that. I'll still cover for you. Don't worry," Chandler said.

"Awww," Kristi said.

Something about that comment though rubbed him the wrong way. He knew Chandler didn't mean it in a bad way but there was something that didn't sit right with him.

"You know, Bing. I don't think I want you to continue to pay for me," Joey said.

"Come on, dude," Chandler said. "I'll just write you a check right before I move out and it'll cover you-"

"No. No, no, I don't want you doing that anymore," Joey said.

"Oh my G-d," Kristi said.

"You don't have a job," Chandler said, "I wanna make sure you're okay."

"I'm gonna be fine. Look, you've done a lot. The past six years…..I owe you so much and….and no, no, no more. I'm gonna be fine, I promise. It's time. Right? You're moving in with Monica. I'm thirty one years old. You're thirty. I think it's a good thing."

"That's great but-" Chandler said.

"Hey, we got a few months left as roommates, you're not my money guy, you're my brother."

"So sweet," Kristi said.

"I'm paying until I move out," Chandler said.

"That's fine, but after that-"

"Okay and also, you and I are not breaking up. Kristi is wrong," Chandler said.

"That's kind of a weird sentence," Kristi said.

"I know," Chandler said.

"But it will be different. It won't be the same. You and me? We've been inseparable the last six years and I'm happy for you two but I don't see Ross doing the same crap you and I do," Joey said.

"If we invited him to more stuff, he probably would," Chandler said.

Joey laughed but the thing was, he didn't really want to invite Ross. He was friendly with Ross when they complained about Chandler but he had never really hung out with him, at least never really without Chandler. They had brief moments when Ross was staying with them but now it was different, very different.

Joey and Chandler spent the majority of the summer playing together. Ross and Rachel were dealing with the fallout from their marriage. By the fall, Joey was no closer to getting a job but he still refused to accept money from Chandler. He had done it too much. Joey really did want to move on from asking Chandler for help. Rachel would be moving in with Ross so he probably would have to find a roommate although he did think it was a little strange for them to be living together given their Vegas marriage and subsequent annulment. He went with Phoebe to place a roommate ad, he wanted a hot girl even though Phoebe said he couldn't do that. They were still arguing about that as they walked towards his apartment. As they stepped on the landing, they noticed Rachel storm into Monica and Rachel's apartment. The two followed her in.

"What happened?" Phoebe asked.

"Ross and I are still married," Rachel said.

"Oh, no that's terrible….that is just you know...brand new information," Phoebe said.

Joey looked at her. That was bizarre, Phoebe's tone was a little off.

"You knew," Rachel said.

"I did not," Phoebe said.

"You are a horrible liar," Rachel said.

"Oh, you take that back," Phoebe said.

"You so knew," Rachel said.

"Okay, okay I knew but….I...he needed to tell you, I mean...what-and you were on a break," Phoebe said which caused gasps from the rest of the group.

"Too far," Rachel said, "what am I gonna do? I've….I went...I….Oh my G-d. Where am I gonna live?"

"I got an empty room," Joey said, grinning.

"Dude, I'm still living there," Chandler said.

"Oh, yeah," Joey said.

"Why doesn't he care what I want? Why? Why….he's….you know what? This is such shit. Why is he so self-absorbed and I mean...does he actually care about-" Rachel said.

"Hey, what's up?" Ross asked as he casually walked into the apartment. Rachel turned and looked at him.

"Run, man, run," Joey said as Rachel raced towards him and shoved Ross towards the door.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Ross?" Rachel asked.

"You found out?" Ross asked, sounding embarrassed.

"Your divorce lawyer called. You never got it annulled. You've been lying this whole time," Rachel said.

"Okay look, I don't want three divorces. I'm going to be thirty in a few weeks and I don't want three divorces before I'm thirty. I just wanted that one thing," Ross said.

"What about what I want? When is it ever going to be about what I want? I don't want to be married to you like this. I don't want our wedding to be some drunk ass, spur of the moment thing in Vegas. I don't want that. I don't-it's never what I want with you….it's always what you want. When were you going to tell me?" Rachel asked.

"Eventually….I would have told you and that's not-I think about you a lot," Ross said.

"No….no….okay, I just….something changed with you when you and Emily got divorced or maybe it was before but something happened and I don't know this person….I don't think I like him that much….I have to go," Rachel said as she walked towards the door, before looking back, "Monica and Phoebe?" The two women got up and followed Rachel out. Joey looked back at Ross and walked towards Chandler and sat beside him. Joey wasn't quite sure what he should be saying.

"What the hell is wrong with you, man?" Chandler asked.

"Have I really….she hates me?" Ross asked.

"Do you blame her?" Chandler asked.

"Why did you hide it from her?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, even I wouldn't do something that dumb," Chandler said.

"I don't know…I-you know, when I married Carol. I thought it was forever. Same with Emily. Why-I don't know-I just want to be with someone, you know and Rachel….I mean, come on-" Ross tried.

"Yeah, but you can't start a marriage like this," Chandler said. "You can't hide it from her."

"Besides, is this how you really want to be married to Rachel? Look, if this is something you've wanted forever….do you really want it to be because you were both really drunk and don't even remember it?" Joey asked.

"No, it's just….fuck, I fail at relationships. I mean, even you two are better than I am at this point….that's terrifying," Ross said.

"Hey, don't be a dick," Chandler said.

Joey had to agree with Chandler. That's why he never loved hanging with Ross. Ross could be so arrogant and he was pretty sure Ross thought he was better than both of them.

"I'm sorry, no, I'm thrilled that you and Monica are moving in together. I really am and...it's not how I pictured my life at almost thirty. I'm gonna be thirty next month and I'm gonna have three divorces."

"Yes, you've said that a lot...well, maybe next time….don't propose," Chandler said.

"I didn't propose to Rachel," Ross said, "and you're right, Joe….I want to marry Rachel but not like this."

"And dude...alright, I don't wanna say this but you tell me when I'm an asshole so I'm gonna return the favor, stop being an asshole," Chandler said.

"Excuse me?" Ross asked.

"I actually agree with Rachel. Look, I'm sorry about Carol. She should have...I don't know, maybe she wasn't ready. Sometimes people aren't ready to admit things about themselves and yeah, people might get hurt but yeah, in a perfect world, Carol would have told you she was a lesbian and you wouldn't have gotten married. She wasn't ready. You can't force people to admit things they're not ready to admit...do you hear me?" Chandler asked.

Joey let that sink in, especially Chandler's last comment. He got it. Chandler wasn't ready, maybe he knew there was a problem.

"Yeah, I do," Ross said.

"And Emily...yeah, maybe I'm a commitment-phobe but hey, that fear prevents me from marrying someone I barely know. You shouldn't have gotten married to Emily. You shouldn't have. That's on you. I wouldn't have married Janice. I wouldn't have married Kathy. I didn't love Janice enough and I barely knew Kathy. I would have married Lizzie and I will definitely marry your sister...at some point, but I know her pretty well. I knew Lizzie pretty well. Something changed after Carol, or Emily...not sure...but come on, Rachel? You're gonna pull this shit with Rachel? It's not about you, man. You're not better than us. Yeah, I'm always gonna be grateful for you and your friendship, but you're not better than me and you're not better than Joey...or the rest of us," Chandler said.

"I never said I was," Ross said.

"You do sometimes act like it," Joey said. "I'm on Chandler's side here."

"You are?" Ross asked.

"And-and Rachel's...you should've told her. You should've annulled the marriage."

"You're being an ass and you're being arrogant. Stop it," Chandler said.

Ross let out a sigh and Joey was starting to get annoyed. Chandler was right. Ross was being arrogant and he didn't love this side of Ross, actually he didn't like a lot of sides of Ross. He tried and he did for Chandler. When Ross left to go back to his apartment, Joey wondered if he should bring it up.

"So if you move in here, I'll be hanging out with Ross more?" Joey asked.

"Yeah. I guess."

"I don't-I don't like Ross," Joey said matter-of-factly.

"What?"

"I mean, I do and sometimes we have fun like when he lived with us, we had fun and it's nice that he's been through all your issues but-"

"I hated him when I first met him," Chandler said.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. Freshman year, he was obnoxious. He even had a rule that girls couldn't sleep in our dorm. Granted, in retrospect, I think he did it because it would give Lizzie a break from me and I hated him and he was judgemental. I wanted to just punch him in the face so many times," Chandler said.

"What changed?"

"Thanksgiving. He invited me to his home. He was there. I mean, he drove my ass around the city while me and Gandalf and Kip would just get wasted in bars and he'd wait, sometimes study in the car while we went inside. He's a good friend and yeah, this whole thing with Rachel….is fucked up and yeah he can be outrageously arrogant but here's the thing about the Gellers, they never let you go. I like that. It felt nice. It feels nice and….yeah…."

"He seems so dramatic."

"He is."

"He's good with helping you out," Joey said.

"Yeah."

"Another thing….'cause I listened….do you think you have a drinking problem?" Joey asked.

"I don't know. I-I don't….do you think I do?" Chandler asked.

"I think you've asked before and I don't think it's for me to say."

"I know...there might be but I-I don't want to say it, yet. I don't….I don't want to stop."

"Okay," Joey said. He wouldn't push. It just would not be fair for him to do so but it was big for him to admit. There might be something wrong.

"Just stick with Ross. I need both of you."

"We got you."

"Thanks," Chandler said.

Joey let out another loud sigh as Chandler got up to go get some beers. They walked back across the hall to continue playing video games and enjoying their last moments together as roommates. It did worry him a little with him being across the hall, he would no longer be able to check the room but he'd check with Monica. She definitely wouldn't mind, he was sure of it.


	41. Chapter 41

**October 1999-December 1999**

Ross' thirtieth birthday was that October and Joey still had not found any suitable roommates. Rachel had decided against moving in with him and instead was moving in with Phoebe. He thought he was being clear with what he wanted in a roommate but he wasn't sure.

"Okay, but if you don't find anyone in like the next month can I at least pay for your rent until you do?" Chandler asked. Chandler and Joey were sitting on the couch while Monica and Rachel hung out together in the kitchen. Phoebe had gone across the street to Ross to go get him.

"No. I am done taking money from you," Joey said.

"What changed? 'Cause you were fine moving in and taking money from me?" Chandler asked.

"Times have changed," Joey said.

"How about Kristi?" Chandler asked.

"She has a kid," Joey said.

"Mon would babysit," Chandler said.

"I don't wanna live with someone who has a kid," Joey said.

"Christopher," Chandler said.

"No. No, not since….." Joey nodded towards Rachel and mouthed, 'Brian' to him. Rachel was so engrossed in her conversation with Monica that she didn't notice.

"Got it," Chandler said, "you still also need a job because most roommates aren't gonna be okay paying all the rent."

"I know."

Joey would have to think of something and quick. When Ross and Phoebe finally arrived though, the worries of his roommate search were pushed out of his head while they celebrated the next member of the group to turn the big 3-0.

"Hey...I'm glad you're here," Rachel said walking towards him with a drink.

"You are?" Ross asked, sounding confused.

"Yes...of course. It's your birthday and I wanna celebrate with my ex-husband," Rachel grinned as she linked her arm in Ross' and whispered something to him before leading him to the couch and turning to the group, "and can I make a suggestion, guys, next year, Mon and I are going to be thirty and can we step it up a bit. I mean, Joey's thirtieth was a sob fest because he couldn't stop crying-"

"It's just so hard," Joey said. It just was so difficult.

"Three more months till thirty-two," Chandler grinned.

"Go to hell, Bing," Joey shot back which made Chandler laugh.

"Alright, Joey cried, Phoebe was pregnant during her birthday, we forgot Chandler's and Ross...well, we're getting a divorce," Rachel said.

"Thank you, Rachel," Ross said.

"I'm just saying, Monica and I are next. Let's step this up, people," Rachel said.

"I agree," Monica said.

"Okay, we can celebrate my birthday twice. Once on my birthday and then for the second time on Rachel's," Chandler said.

"I don't play that way, Bing," Rachel said.

The group laughed as they began to settle in for Ross' birthday celebration which included movies, fajitas, and more drinking. For a night, they would forget the drama and enjoy themselves.

As the date for Chandler and Monica moving in together fast approached, Joey also knew he'd have to check in with Monica. He knew Monica was tough to live with, he had heard it from Phoebe, Rachel and Ross. He knew what had happened in Atlantic City. He loved them both but he knew something needed to be done so that Monica and Chandler did not end up breaking up. Ross, Rachel and Phoebe agreed and waited for Monica in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Maybe it was too soon for an intervention for Chandler, but it was definitely not too soon for an intervention for Monica.

"Why are you all here?" Monica asked as she walked into the apartment.

"We are intervening," Ross said.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Yes, Mon. Rachel and I have been your roommates and Ross and Joey have been Chandler's and we have to tell you to unclench," Phoebe said.

"I am unclenched," Monica said.

"Monica, if you're going to share an apartment with him, you have to let him bring his ideas," Rachel said, "you broke my sea shell lamp."

"Seriously?" Monica asked.

"Calm down," Joey said.

Monica looked at her friends and then at Rachel's room. She collapsed on to the couch and let out an annoyed grunt.

"Fine, he can bring the stupid barcalounger over here and I'll put his stupid movies in there….and whatever," Monica groaned.

"There you go," Rachel said.

"And can you let the seashell lamp story die?" Monica asked.

"First, you literally break it and now you want to break my memories," Rachel said.

"I kinda want to break you," Monica said. "You know, living with Pheebs won't be easy. I dare you to buy some ground beef."

"She can buy ground beef," Phoebe said.

"You cried once when I made hamburgers," Monica said.

"Only once," Phoebe said.

"You know….he's not here so….I have another issue," Monica said, "he's clean now but….I mean...and Joey, I know you checked his room and Ross, you kept him alive during college but-"

"Hey, we're still in this," Joey said.

"Don't worry," Rachel said.

"I'm always gonna be worried," Monica said, squeezing Rachel's hand before getting up to go look in Rachel's old room. He was glad he had intervened and he was still going to try to be happy he couldn't help but shake that sad feeling. He wanted things to stay how they were. He hated seeing Chandler clear out his room, hated saying goodbye to him. Sure he wasn't going far but six years, it had been six years. He was so thankful that Chandler had not thrown him out, so thankful for everything he had done and it would be too weird to not have him in the next room. When Chandler moved out, that first night he headed to Umbertos, inviting Christopher and Kristi. He didn't want to be alone in that apartment with Monica and Chandler spending alone time across the hall. About ten minutes into hanging out with his old friends, he was a little stunned to hear Chandler call him on his cell phone.

"Is she driving you crazy already?" Joey asked.

"No, it's the other Geller. Ross keeps staring at us from his apartment. It's getting creepy," Chandler said.

"I'm with Kristi and Christopher and….and I haven't told Ross as much as I've told you and if he gets judgy-"

"Look, after the ride-a-long, you told him about the four arrests and he was okay….right? He knows you have mob ties and Kristi is awesome and Christopher….he's okay."

"I just…."

"Joey, come on."

"Fine, fine, I will invite him," Joey hung up and looked over at Kristi, "so I'm gonna invite Ross."

"Oh, that's sweet," Kristi said. "I've never met Ross."

"How are you drunk? We've been here less than an hour," Joey said.

"Rough night," Kristi said, "okay, I'm gonna get up."

Kristi got up and stumbled towards the bar. He would have to check in with Kristi again. When he got there that night, Kristi was still in her stripping outfit and drinking. She was clearly drunk and he needed to find out why but first, Ross. He flipped open his phone and dialed.

"Hello?" Ross asked.

"Hey dude….I'm out with some old buddies of mine-"

"I thought you had a date?"

"Change of plans," Joey said. He did have a date but when he had received a drunken message from Kristi earlier that evening, everything changed. She had slurred and told him to come to Umbertos but would not explain why.

"Oh."

"I figured you were home by yourself and in case you didn't wanna spend the night staring at Monica and Chandler-"

"I'm not staring-" Ross said before stopping. Joey could hear Ross mutter something.

"So stop being creepy and come out and play. I'm at Umbertos."

"Alright, I'll be there," Ross said.

Joey hung up and looked over at Kristi. He got up and walked over to the bar where she was pounding another back.

"So Ross is on his way and you're out of it...what's going on?"

"I don't wanna talk about it. It's the nature of my job, right. I'm a stripper, sweetie. How's your Sugar Daddy, honey. Do you miss him?" Kristi asked.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Joey asked.

"Nothing," Kristi said, ordering another drink.

"Go easy," Joey said.

"Can't wait to meet Ross," Kristi said.

Joey was regretting inviting Ross as he walked back to the table. Kristi was a clearly a mess and he only did it for Chandler. He wished he could just take her home but now he had to wait for someone who was going to pass judgement and he was going to pass on helping a friend who was clearly not in her right mind.

When Ross finally arrived, Joey waved him over to the table. His table had suddenly become very crowded even though he had not paid much attention. He kept watching Kristi, watching her closely. As Ross got closer to the table, some people got up to make room for him. He sat next to Joey and looked uncomfortable.

"So...who are all these people?" Ross asked.

"Friends. So what are you gonna get?" Joey asked.

"Is there anything besides clams?" Ross asked.

"Of course," Joey said, tossing him a menu. He knew he wasn't in the friendliest mood but he just could not stop thinking that he should have told Chandler that Ross could not come.

"Is it true that you saw someone get killed here?" Ross asked.

"No," Joey said, rather matter of factly. What had Chandler told Ross? Yes, of course he had seen someone get killed here but he wasn't gonna tell.

"Joey, hey, baby," Kristi said, sauntering over to them. Joey raised an eyebrow and looked at Kristi. She was acting so bizarre and just so weird.

"Hey, baby...oh, Kristi, this is my friend Ross. Kristi and I go way back," Joey said.

"Is your uncle gonna be here tonight?" Kristi asked.

"No, no. He's got some business in Jersey," Joey said, wondering why Kristi would even be asking about Tony. Did she need to talk to him? Did she need to him to talk to Tony?

"What kind of business?" Ross asked.

"Business," Joey said. "Christopher should be here tonight. I think The Horse is coming. Not sure."

Another mob guy, he had heard that from Christopher. The Horse was the guy who owned Umbertos. He had seen him a couple times.

"The Horse?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, The Horse. He's a good guy. So Kristi, what have you been doing?" Joey asked, really just to dig more.

"Well, I'm still dancing and-"

"Get out of that," Joey said, thinking maybe something happened. Something had to have happened while she was dancing.

"I'm not...hey, I'm not lucky like you, Joe. Acting jobs are not being handed to me. I don't have a Sugar Daddy like you," Kristi said.

"I don't have a Sugar Daddy," Joey said, wondering if it wasn't just alcohol she was on. Was she on a drug?

"The poor sap who's payin' for your apartment? I met him once, real cute...kinda weird," Kristi said.

Kristi had met Chandler more than once. He always thought she liked Chandler. He really wanted to send Ross home so he could get to the bottom of her behavior.

"Oh, yeah him….he's not my Sugar Daddy. He's my brother. He just-he moved out anyway. He's got a steady girl but anyway, Kristi, I just hate seeing you dance. I'm sitting there at Starlets and up there is a girl I went to kindergarten with workin' the pole. It ruins it for me," Joey said, purposely playing along. He didn't want Ross to know this wasn't how Kristi normally was and he was pretty sure she was high.

"Well, you're a good tipper, Joe. Your Sugar Daddy was also good."

"Yeah, he's not gonna come around anymore and he's not my Sugar Daddy," Joey argued.

"Alright, I'm getting a drink, you want something?" Kristi asked.

"You bet," Joey said. "Usual."

"Got it and Ross?" Kristi asked.

"Um," Ross said, "uhhhh…."

"He'll get what I'm getting," Joey said.

Kristi nodded and walked off. Ross looked over Joey who kept staring at Kristi as she was stumbling. He would have to bring her back to his apartment tonight. He could not let Ashley see her mom like this. He looked over at Ross again. He'd have to take care of Ross as well.

"Oh, by the way, do not mention mafia things here. No one got killed here or-"

"Did they?" Ross asked.

Joey let out a sigh, "yeah, when I was about four, I came here with my family for dinner and saw someone get shot to death…..on his birthday. It's not mentioned. Okay."

"Okay."

"Be cool."

"I think you're asking a lot of me," Ross said.

"I understand that," Joey said, grinning at him, "but I got Chandler to be cool. I can get you….and the first time I brought Chandler, he just began repeating lines from The Godfather and Scarface. He asked me to say hello to his little friend at least eighty three times."

"Sounds about right."

Joey laughed as Ross let out a breath when Christopher walked towards them. Joey hoped Christopher would be better behaved than Kristi although he knew that was asking a lot.

"Christopher," Joey said as he waved him over.

"You know, I hate coming here," Christopher said in a hushed whisper.

"I know."

"If Uncle Tony knew we were frequenting Matty the Horse's establishment, who knows what he'd do?" Christopher asked.

"He ain't gonna do a damn thing. He knows me and where I stand, don't worry," Joey said.

He had hoped too much for Christopher as well. Christopher was laying it on thick and was being obnoxious.

"Who's this pussy?" Christopher asked.

"My buddy, Ross. He's good," Joey said.

"Hi, I'm….Ross," he said as he extended his hand. Christopher gave him a look and shook his hand.

"You his new Sugar Daddy?" Christopher asked.

"He was not my Sugar Daddy. He's my brother. He was helping me out….but...he's not now. He moved out," Joey said.

"Awww," Christopher said.

"Don't 'awww' me, you would do well with a buddy like that," Joey said.

"Didn't he repeat mobster movie quotes all night long?" Christopher asked.

"Yeah, of course," Joey said.

"Alright, anyway, I do have a favor. I got something-" Christopher said.

"I'm not doing this," Joey said, figuring Christopher wanted Joey to do something with that grand jury investigation and he knew Junior was out of prison so maybe Tony needed something.

"Come on, look, this guy Junior-"

"Christopher, I'm not involved," Joey said.

"What? Your Sugar Daddy moved out, how you gonna pay your rent?" Christopher asked, "I mean, you could easily make fifty grand on this job."

"I'm not doing this. That is not my life. " Joey said, quite matter of factly.

Christopher let out a grunt and looked like he was about to say more when Kristi returned to the table with a brunette and a redhead. Joey kept staring at Kristi. Something was wrong.

"Your friend is on drugs," Ross whispered.

"Yeah," Joey said.

Kristi was getting more and more wasted as the night went on and soon she vanished. Joey went in search of her and found her in the bathroom, throwing up. Her make up smeared, she was sobbing as she wiped her mouth.

"What happened tonight? This isn't you, Kris," Joey said, sitting next to her on the dirty floor. He thought maybe he should look out for Ross but Kristi was more important. He grabbed some toilet paper and handed it to her.

"My life sucks, Joe. I'm...I just-"

"I hate that you still do this. Stripping, adult movies….come on….there are a million other careers you can have."

"He touched me."

"Who?"

"This guy at the club and….I have a daughter and I'm a horrible, horrible mother," Kristi sobbed.

"Is that why you want Tony? Do you want a hit?" Joey asked.

"I don't know. I took something and….and…."

"Get out of this life."

"I can't. I'm in too deep," Kristi said, still crying as Joey leaned in and hugged her. She was shaking as he held her. He wanted so badly to make things alright for her.

"Hey," Ross said, knocking on the bathroom door. "Do you need me to call someone?"

"No, no….Kristi's fine. She was-she had a bad night."

Ross nodded as he walked in and sat next to him. Joey waited for the judgment.

"Is she vomiting?" Ross asked.

"Not now," Joey said.

"She needs to induce vomiting. When Chandler would take too many pills in college, we'd force him to throw up," Ross said.

"Oh, okay….Kristi, throw up," Joey said.

"I don't want to," Kristi said.

"You-you have to. It helps," Ross said.

Kristi lifted her head up and turned towards the toilet. Joey held her hair back as Kristi induced vomiting. Joey cringed at the sound as he looked at Ross.

"Thanks, she's not normally like this. She knows Chandler and-I-thanks for not judging."

"I'm not as big of an ass as you think I am," Ross said.

"I know and I'm glad you came tonight," Joey said.

"Good, 'cause I think you and I are gonna be spending a lot of time together," Ross said.

Joey smiled as he continued to help Kristi. They sat there, taking care of her until they decided to go home. Joey would have Kristi sleep it off in his apartment. She could sleep in Chandler's old room. Ross and Joey walked Kristi into his apartment and lay her on Chandler's bed, covering her with a blanket. Ross simply nodded before he left, promising Joey he would not mention anything. The next morning, Joey checked in on Kristi and woke her up.

"My head is killing me," she groaned, slowly sitting up.

"I want you to stop dancing," Joey said.

"I can't. I have a daughter who is at my friend's. I just….I don't know, I should go."

"I love you, Kris. You know that, right?" Joey asked.

"I do. I can't wait to meet Ross again. I'll be more….I'll be better."

Joey leaned in and kissed her forehead. He watched her as she slowly got up, grabbed her stuff and walked out, leaving before anyone knew. With all these changes, there was one he wished he could make happen and that would be Kristi leaving that dancing world behind.


	42. Chapter 42

**January 2000-April 2000**

Janine was one of Kristi's friends, she danced with Kristi at the club and had moved into the extra room towards the end of 1999 but then by the middle of January, he asked her to leave. It was painful, Janine was hot and he liked kissing her and sleeping into her room in the middle of the night. He really did like her.

"She could have been the one," Joey said over pizza with Kristi a few days after asking Janine to leave.

"Why did you ask her to leave?" Kristi asked.

"She didn't get along with Chandler and Monica. She was mean to them."

"She said they were mean to her too."

"Yeah but…."

"You had a roommate, you have no job….and now you're back to having no money for rent...just 'cause Janine didn't get along with Chandler and Monica?"

"Yes."

"You sound ridiculous. I mean, I like Chandler but…."

"I know, I know...well, maybe something will happen."

"Okay."

"By the way, you know, we haven't talked since….well since-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I do."

"I got you a roommate."

"I know. Kristi, do you need help? Because I can't lose you. You're my sanity. Even more than Chandler."

"Ashley's….I think I need to quit. The dancing, the films….Ashley's getting older and...but I don't know what to do."

"I wanna know who the guy was. Janine said it was a customer and I wanna know his name," Joey said.

"No, no, I'm not giving you that. I don't trust you. I just….when I was little, all I wanted to do was act and dance….no, not even act, just dance. Be in a Broadway show or even…."

"There's still time."

"I'm thirty two."

"I'm not giving up and neither are you. Come on."

"I don't know," Kristi said.

"Please?"

Kristi nodded and he wanted to believe her. He wanted Kristi to be done with that world. She could be an actress, she could be a dancer. There was no reason for her not to try. He was still trying. Audition after audition, he was still trying. He did have to end up getting a job at Central Perk which he truly hated and by March, he got a job teaching acting, which he didn't mind. He especially loved the fact that both Kristi and Christopher were in his class. Christopher had decided that if he wanted to keep working on his screenplay about mobsters, he should also learn to be an actor and Kristi thought it would be fun. Joey felt this was more fun than anything he could think of.

"So teach, you think I got talent?" Christopher asked, after class one night.

"Oh, hell no," Joey said, practically beaming.

"Joey, be nice to him," Kristi said.

"Kristi, you got talent," Joey said.

"You have no idea what you're talking about. I got more talent than I know what to do with, hey, here's the first draft," Christopher said pulling a script out of his backpack and handing it to Joey. "Read this, tell me this does not say Oscar."

"Well, considering you named it The Godfather…..you can't do that," Joey said.

"Okay, working title…..working title," Christopher said. "How come you always crap on my dreams, you and Tony."

"'Cause you're stupid," Joey said.

"You're stupid. When was the last time you were in something?" Christopher asked.

"Actually….I have a lead on an audition. To play the lead in a show where I would have a robot sidekick," Joey said.

"Maybe I can audition?" Christopher asked.

"No, you may not. You can't decide now to change careers," Joey said.

"You want me to change careers," Kristi said.

"That's different," Joey said, "I like you more."

"Can you at least read my script," Christophe said.

"Fine," Joey said as he stuffed the script in his backpack. He kinda liked being able to teach Kristi and Christopher all he knew and maybe this could lead to something. Although, he couldn't lie, his favorite thing was to tell Christopher to stop talking. Things had been so slow recently but maybe, just maybe his career was taking a turn. There was that potential for him to act with a robot.

He wouldn't read Christopher's script that night though. That night, post class, was dedicated to playing with Chandler. It had been four months since Chandler and Monica had moved in together and they had not hung out nearly as much as they used to. The two sat in his apartment, playing video games with Monica complaining. He was trying not to pay attention.

"This is boring," Monica whined.

"Go call Rachel and Phoebe," Chandler said.

"I did. They're not home. They're never home. I've lost all my friends because I have a stupid boyfriend," Monica continued whining.

"I love you," Chandler said smiling at her.

"Ehhh, bite me," Monica said. "I have no female friends left. I'm turning thirty and all I have to show for it is a dumb live in boyfriend."

"You know, Mon….when you say things like that, it justs make me wanna rip off my clothes….and yours," Chandler said. Monica laughed.

"And Mon, what are you talking about? You can talk to us about the same stuff that you talk to Phoebe and Rachel about," Joey said.

"No, I can't," Monica said.

"Yeah, you can….try it," Chandler said as he pressed pause on the video game and he and Joey looked at Monica.

"Alright….okay, so a couple days ago, I had the worst menstrual cramps. Seriously, it felt like someone took an ice cream scoop and just began digging into my pelvis, slowly….scoop by scoop," Monica said. Chandler and Joey just stared blankly at her as Monica grinned from ear to ear.

"Get the hell out of my apartment," Joey said. Monica laughed as she stood up and walked towards the door.

"I need my female friends back," Monica said as she walked out. Chandler pressed unpause and the video gaming continued.

"I apologize that you had to hear that," Chandler said.

"It's okay. So tomorrow Ross and I will pick up the food for Monica's birthday party and then what time do you want us back?" Joey asked.

"Uh, four...five? Not sure," Chandler said.

Chandler had decided to throw Monica a surprise thirtieth birthday party and Ross and Joey were in charge of food. He liked being in charge of food.

"Well, we'll be there."

"So was teaching acting?" Chandler asked.

"Christopher was in my class. I loved telling him to raise his hand. It was amazing and he gave me a script to read. He wrote a script about a mob family. He calls it The Godfather."

"I think that's already a thing."

"I'll read it anyway. It'll never get made. Tony won't let it get made. Come on, he reveals….he can't…."

Joey shook his head. He would definitely entertain Christopher's fantasies of being a screenwriter but he knew they would never happen. It couldn't and later that night, in his own room, he actually did read Christopher's script which read like a tell all of everything that had ever happened. He would have to tell him to change things or more likely everything.

Joey and Ross arrived at Monica and Chandler's apartment around five the next night with trays of appetizers in hand. It was going to be a classy affair, of Monica proportions.

"Chandler?" Ross yelled as they placed the trays on the table.

"Ugh, what kinda stuff did he order? It smells fancy," Joey said.

"It's a Monica party," Ross shrugged, "Chandler, you here?"

"Uh, yeah...I'll be right out," Chandler yelled from the bathroom, soon opening the door and grinning at them. "Hello, chillen." Chandler said. Ross and Joey exchanged a look. Chandler seemed a little off.

"You alright buddy?" Joey asked.

"Are you drunk?" Ross asked.

"No, no...what...let's...what's going on," Chandler said. Joey and Ross kept exchanging looks but Chandler seemed to ignore it. Did he take something? Chandler was slurring a little. Did he really get drunk before the party? He was pretty sure it was Monica's birthday and not Chandler's so he wasn't sure the reason and he wondered if he needed to check or search somewhere for drugs.

There wasn't enough time to check as guests soon arrived and it was a very typical, fancy party for Monica. Everyone was dressed in their finest attire and there were little hot dogs for everyone. For Joey, mainly. Joey didn't really see the point in sharing them and he kept trying to keep Ross from eating them but Ross would have none of it.

"So, let me ask you about your friend Kristi-"

"You want me to set you up with her? I don't know if she wants to get married," Joey said.

They hadn't really talked about Kristi since Ross' first meeting with her. He simply asked if she was okay and that was about it.

"I'm not proposing...just gonna ask, 'cause I should've asked earlier….she's very nice, how did she become a stripper?"

"How does anyone become a stripper?"

"True. So did your cousin Christopher ever find anyone to do that job?"

"You really wanna know?" Joey asked, although he didn't quite remember what job Ross was referring to.

"No."

"Thought so."

"I will say, it's been kinda fun getting to know you better these last four months," Ross said.

It was true. Hanging out with Ross had been more fun that he had thought. They headed to games together, they bar hopped, they even rode four wheelers. He had no clue that Ross actually liked a lot of the things he did, stuff Chandler was not interested in. They had even gone to a car museum and looked at old cars, he would never have taken Ross as a secret car guy and in turn, Ross took him to a comic book shop and he enjoyed himself. It was just fun.

"I know how to have a good time. Kristi has some friends, Kelli, Wendi, Brittani and Staci-"

"Are these all names that end in 'i'?" Ross asked.

"Yes. They are having a party next week. You up for it, buddy?"

"I'm up for it."

"You may not propose marriage to anyone while we're there."

"I'm not-go away," Ross said as Joey laughed. Ross glared at him when they heard a banging outside the door. Chandler walked outside and soon came back in with Monica who was clearly drunk.

"Hmmm, guess Mon is taking after Chandler," Joey muttered as Chandler walked Monica towards Phoebe, Rachel and a couple of Monica's friends from high school.

"Wonder what happened?" Ross asked as Monica, Rachel, Phoebe and Monica's high school friends disappeared into Monica and Chandler's room. Chandler walked over to them, concern on his face.

"Monica's drunk?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, guess she had a few birthday drinks before….yeah," Chandler said.

"You alright, man?" Joey asked.

"I'm fine," Chandler said, "just want this to be a good party. Remember? Both Monica and Rachel want their thirtieth birthday parties to be better than any of ours were. Well, yours….mine you just forgot."

"Get over it," Joey said. "We celebrated you later."

He really did want this to be dropped. He wondered why neither Ross nor Chandler could ever let anything go.

"I don't let things go. So wait, Joe, am I never going with you to Umbertos again 'cause you got Ross? I've been waiting for my invite?" Chandler asked.

"No, I'll take you….I'll take you both."

"I just saw Scarface again...so I'm ready," Chandler said.

"You know they call you his Sugar Daddy," Ross said.

"I know and he's besties with a stripper," Chandler said.

"It's really not that glamorous," Joey said, "you really don't want to know what I've seen or done."

"We kinda do," Chandler said.

"I know," Ross said.

Joey simply laughed as he popped another hot dog in his mouth. He knew what they wanted him to know.

"I wanna know if Gary is still alive," Chandler said.

"He is still alive...at least for now," Joey said.

"Oh, interesting," Chandler said.

"I'm still amazed by that ride-a-long," Ross said, "you totally schooled him."

"Don't underestimate me boys," Joey said.

Monica soon emerged from her bedroom and Chandler ran to help her. Ross seemed to find it funny that Monica was drunk and trying to sober up.

"You're enjoying this way too much," Joey said.

"I really am. Seeing my sister drunk is like….'cause she's not a drinker really and-"

"I had her as my wingwoman once. Ehhhh, I wouldn't have her do it again."

"So this party you invited me to….will these girls be okay with my marital expertise."

"Yeah, I wouldn't open with that dude."

"Damn...that was actually gonna be my line. Hi, I'm Ross. the Dino Divorcer part three. How you doin'?"

"No. I have 'how you doin'...you don't say that, I do," Joey said.

"Kristi is okay, though, right?" Ross asked, laughing a little.

"Yeah. See, I went into acting 'cause of her and she could do so much other stuff, you know. Like anything….I love strippers and porn stars. That's no secret but….and she's got a kid and I have no idea who the dad is and I wish I knew 'cause I would kill him."

"Maybe that's a good thing. She needs you with her and not in prison."

"Don't judge me."

"I will in that case," Ross said.

"I wouldn't...I wouldn't actually...not...someone else would do it," Joey tried.

"Have you ever killed someone?" Ross asked.

"No. Wanted to? Oh, yeah," Joey said, "and dude, stop touching the little hot dogs."

"They're for everyone," Ross said.

"No, they're not."

"I'm sorry I'm fondling Joey's wieners," Ross grinned as he popped a little hot dog in his mouth.

"I will beat you."

"Doesn't matter, I'll still fondle Joey's tiny wieners," Ross said.

"I don't like you anymore," Joey said.

Ross laughed as Joey stayed near Ross and ate the little hot dogs. It was fun watching the rest of the party, although it did strike him as a bit stuffy and over the top. As the party began to wind down, Joey and Ross found themselves polishing off more of the appetizers. As Rachel and Phoebe were about to leave, Chandler walked them out to talk to them as Monica remained seated not saying much until Chandler, Phoebe and Rachel returned. The girls soon left for a girls night and continued to celebrate Monica as Chandler turned and walked towards the guest room, shutting the door behind him. Joey stopped eating to look over at Ross.

"Twenty bucks says he's back on something," Joey said.

"You think?" Ross asked, finishing off a crab cake.

"You don't think he was drunk earlier?"

"Fuck….I'm so glad you're here Joe 'cause clearly keeping him alive is not a one person job.'

Ross got up and went into the guest room, closing the door behind him. Joey wondered if he could get into the guest room and throw stuff out? Soon Ross walked out and sat down next to him.

"Yep, he's back on something," Ross said.

"Shit."

"How did you figure it out?" Ross asked.

"I just knew."

"Hopefully it won't get too bad?"

"Hopefully," Joey said, "I want to know who his dealer is?"

"He won't tell."

"Should I start sneaking in here and throwing out pills?" Joey asked.

"I don't know. I'm tired," Ross said. "It's…..I mean, I know I'm an ass. I get married and divorced but...I'm tired."

"I get it."

"Again? I just...and I wanna be there. I wanna keep being there but at some point-"

"Yeah, I'm right with you," Joey said, "hey, that's my tray."

Joey smacked Ross' hand away from a tray of crab cakes. Ross glared at him and took it anyway.

"You need to learn to share," Ross said.

"No one's got time for that," Joey said.

Chandler soon walked out of the guestroom with _Die Hard._ The boys gathered all the appetizers and started watching. Chandler seemed a little out of it but they wouldn't push, maybe now was not the time to push although he did want to push. He wanted to know where he was getting these drugs, who was supplying him and if there was a way for him to find out.

The next morning, Monica had wanted a birthday brunch so the celebration continued with Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross all over to eat bagels and drink coffee. When Chandler walked out of the room, Joey watched as he walked while over to both Rachel and Phoebe and planted a kiss on the top of each of their heads.

"Awww, you told him," Rachel said.

"Of course," Monica said.

"Hey, when I try to kiss you two like that, you punch me," Joey said.

"I don't try to unhook their bras when I do it," Chandler grinned as he took a seat next to Monica.

"Technicality," Joey mumbled.

"Alright, I'm next. Let's make this thirtieth count. I'm the last one," Rachel said.

"Ten more months until Joey is thirty three," Chandler said.

"I'm gonna punch you," Joey said.

"Well, let's not forget my birthday is next month, before Rachel's," Chandler said.

Joey rolled his eyes. Chandler really did have to let it go.

"We remember...I have a birthday idea for you though," Monica said.

"You do?" Chandler asked.

"Miniature golf," Monica said.

"Mon, we're in our thirties," Ross said.

"I know but Chandler had a party at a miniature golf course when he was eleven and apparently it didn't go very well," Monica said.

"I caught my parents having a threesome in front of those windmills," Chandler said.

"Nice," Joey said.

"Okay, we'll do golf for Chandler's and then for Rachel's we will figure something out," Monica said.

Chandler seemed okay at brunch and soon the group fell into their normal routine but the calmness of Monica's birthday brunch was soon interrupted by a phone call. A phone call that ultimately put an end to the living arrangement of Phoebe and Rachel. There had been a fire which made Phoebe's apartment unlivable and now Phoebe would be living with Monica and Chandler while Rachel would be living with Joey. That would be quite a development. Living with Rachel? He wasn't really sure how to handle it considering what he knew and what he kept from her.

"So now, you and I are roommates," Rachel asked, sitting in one of the recliners. It was a few weeks into their stay as roommates and they were eating pasta and relaxing.

"Yes, we are," Joey said.

"Okay, tell me about you."

"You keep asking this….you know about me," Joey said. She was always pressing and he just didn't want to tell her.

"You grew up in Queens….you know, I lost my virginity in Queens," Rachel said.

"You did?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, Chip and I. We went to this house in Queens….this guy used to have all these parties and it was fun and we had sex in one of the bedrooms. There were like Bon Jovi posters and movie posters on the walls and his room...oh, there were Playboy pictures on the walls….a calendar and Knicks posters….I remember the posters because I kept staring at them and-"

"Did you have sex in my bedroom?" Joey asked. She had just described his childhood bedroom. Rachel had been in his house? Chandler had been at a house party of his and Rachel had as well? With Chip? Doritos. The name kept hitting him. Doritos. They had called him Doritos.

"What?"

"I grew up in Queens and my family would have block parties. Raging parties and….Chandler apparently went to my Halloween one after he covered your car with peanut butter. Were you at my house?"

"Oh my G-d."

"Oh, that's awesome. You did it in my bedroom."

"I'm classy like that," Rachel said.

"I love that. My parties brought people together."

"There were a lot of people at that party. I remember that. Like it was packed," Rachel said.

"Yeah, sometimes we had over a hundred people. People were in the streets."

"Did you ever get complaints? I had a wild post Thanksgiving party when my parents were out of town and there were calls. I got in trouble."

"The cops left our street alone….they knew not to come and there was some….financial reward if they didn't come around," Joey said.

"You paid them off."

"I didn't pay them off."

"Someone else paid them off?"

"Quite possibly."

"Wow."

"Why won't you tell me? Have you told Phoebe or Chandler this stuff?" Rachel said.

"It's in the past. Why bother with the past?"

"But it's cool….so you've never whacked anyone but you've seen people be whacked? Who am I gonna tell? Also, Phoebe admitted to killing a guy in Prague, remember? I can keep a big secret," Rachel said.

"Hmmm, Duncan better be so happy he still has his legs. It would have taken one call, but Chandler thought sending gay porn would have been funnier."

"I-wait….were you gonna call someone?" Rachel asked.

"I wanted to, I definitely wanted to after what he did to Pheebs. I said to Chandler that I was going to make a few calls and Chandler said, let's go with funny and skip the terrifying," Joey said.

"You two make a good team….oh my goodness. I am...wow…." Rachel said, "and I remember at the party, they kept calling Chip-"

"Doritos," Joey said, laughing.

"Yes."

"We kept thinking there would be baby Doritos. Little Doritos," Joey laughed.

"Hmmm, yeah," Rachel said as Phoebe stormed into the apartment.

"He's drinking too much again," Phoebe said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Chandler's totally off the wagon. I keep seeing him drinking and taking something when he thinks no one is watching. He's off the wagon," Phoebe said.

"He had been doing so well," Rachel said.

"Now he's not….if he wants to kill himself, fine. I give up," Phoebe said.

"He's not killing himself," Joey said.

"Pheebs."

"No...look, I love Chandler. He is amazing and smart and I think we can all agree no one makes me or any of us laugh as hard as he does. I don't know how else to show him what he means to us...to me. How else can we show him?" Phoebe asked.

Rachel kept looking at the door. She let out a sigh as she stood up and walked out.

"Why does he make it so hard?" Phoebe said.

"I wish I knew."

"It's just….what is that bad and why doesn't he get it?" Phoebe asked.

Rachel walked back into the apartment and plopped herself back down. She looked like she was about to cry and he wanted to punch Chandler in the head. He was actually starting to feel angry, he hated what this was doing to the group and we wanted Chandler to stop. For the first time since he had met Chandler, we was starting to not like him that much and he hated that feeling.


	43. Chapter 43

**April 2000**

Joey hated what he was feeling. He had been friends with Chandler for long. They were brothers, family and Chandler meant so much to him but he was starting to dislike Chandler. He hated what he was doing to the rest of the group. Rachel kept crying, Phoebe was pissed, Monica looked thin and Ross just looked tired. He wondered if Chandler was even aware of the impact he was having or if he even cared? It made him miss Shane. He didn't care that much with Shane. Joey was running out of options and Chandler kept disappearing, coming home later and later. As they planned his thirty-first birthday, the conversations began to turn to Chandler but they were about his lying. Chandler never worked late but now, he worked late every single night?

"He's working late again?" Phoebe asked as she, Monica, Joey, Ross and Rachel sat in the living room, eating pizza and planning Chandler's golf party.

"Yeah, apparently," Monica said.

"You think he'd come up with a better lie. Yeah, like he's working late," Ross said.

"Have you mentioned anything to him?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, yeah. But he won't say anything. Hmmm, maybe we should forget the party and send him to rehab for his birthday gift. Like, hey, here happy birthday….we don't want you to die," Monica said.

"Should we do that? Forget golf...he's dying. Should we get him into rehab or something? I don't want him to die and I'm not ready to give up on him yet. I want..." Rachel tried.

"He's not gonna go, we can try...but he's not going to go," Ross said.

"What do we do? This...this seems almost worst than last time," Rachel said.

"We stay with him," Ross said when Chandler walked in. He was looking bloated. It looked like it was the opposite of last night. Last time, Chandler looked sickly thin and now he looked heavy. His eyes sunken in and his face looked big.

"Hey, guys….sorry...I was working late," Chandler said.

"Sure you were," Joey said.

"I hope you're getting overtime," Phoebe said.

"I know….and you know, for someone who hates their job as much as you Chandler, it's amazing how much overtime you've put in," Rachel said.

"Yeah….I'm gonna go change," Chandler said as he walked towards the bedroom.

"Chandler, can-can we talk to you?" Rachel asked.

"About what?" Chandler asked.

"Is everything okay?" Rachel asked.

"Are you really working late? Come on, buddy," Joey said.

"I am fine, guys...just tired," Chandler said as he walked into the bedroom. Monica stood up and followed him in, closing the door behind her.

"I wish we could fix him," Rachel said.

"Me too," Ross said as he reached over and squeezed her hand. She smiled back. Rachel looked sadly at her pizza, taking a piece of pepperoni off and sticking it in her mouth. Joey decided to make it a mission, he would figure out who the dealer was. He wouldn't go straight to Chandler, Chandler wouldn't tell him but he'd have to figure it out. Maybe that would stop it? He wasn't entirely sure about that but he needed to figure something out.

The day of the party, Joey got some amazing news. He had gotten a shot to audition for the show with the robot sidekick. It was the professional silver lining. Yes, Chandler was spiraling but professionally, Joey had something amazing to look forward to. He also made a choice. He hadn't wanted to make that choice. Meadow Soprano was graduating high school but he chose Chandler.

"I only graduate once," Meadow said over the phone as Joey got ready to go out.

"I know, I will stop by after my audition tomorrow and we'll do something okay, I just think I need to be with my friends."

"My dad isn't feeling well."

"You want me to talk to him?"

"No, I want you to come to my graduation."

"Meadow, I'm sorry."

"Your whole family is gonna be here except you."

"I think I need to be with Chandler. He's struggling and we forgot his birthday last year and he did not take it well."

"You've forgotten where you've come from. Dina and Christopher and everyone, they're right. We're your actual family," Meadow said.

"I will make it up to you."

"Are you gonna go to Dina's?" Meadow asked.

"Her's isn't for a few more weeks and she's my actual sister."

"Doesn't matter. I've known you my whole life. You're like an older brother and you're far cooler than my actual brother. Joey, I'm graduating early and I'm going to Columbia. Are you gonna visit me at Columbia?"

"Of course...college girls," Joey said.

"Joey, that's gross."

"It's not gross."

"It is. You're old."

"Now I don't wanna go. But I will visit. You're like twenty minutes from my place."

"I just want you here."

"Look, I am sorry...I have to do this."

"Fine, then come to Jersey tomorrow after your audition."

"I will, love you Meadow."

Meadow let out a snort and hung up. He wasn't sure he was making the right decision. He wasn't sure if he should skip Chandler's birthday but after what happened last year, he thought he had to go. He had to skip Meadow's graduation. He'd explain it to Tony, he'd explain it to all of them. His friend needed him. That night, all six of them headed to the golf course where there was some argument over who would be with whom and they ultimately decided on two teams.

"I'm on Chandler's team!" Joey yelled, if he was gonna skip a graduation, he at least had to be on Chandler's team.

"I'm on Chandler's team too," Monica said.

"But I'm his favorite," Joey said.

"We've discussed this, Joey...no, you're not," Monica said.

"Chandler, tell her," Joey said.

"Sorry, Joe...it's Monica," Chandler said. Monica gave Joey a smug grin before turning around and walking towards the first the hole of the course. Chandler then turned back to Joey and mouthed, "just kidding. It's you."

"Wow, you two really are strange," Rachel said, catching Joey and Chandler's exchange. Chandler did seem to be in a silly mood, maybe it would be okay? A good choice.

"Hey, losers...what are you doing?" Monica yelled, waiting for them.

"Wait, wait...Monica, I love you...but I don't want to be on your team," Chandler said.

"Why not?" Monica asked.

"Maybe Ross and Monica should be on one team," Joey offered.

"No, I'm not gonna be on Monica's team," Ross said.

"No, no...you get Monica and we get Ross...it's the only way to be fair," Rachel said.

She did have a point. Monica and Ross could be very competitive.

"And because you wanna continue sleeping with me," Monica grinned, looking at Chandler, "you're on my team."

"Damn you, London," Chandler muttered which caused the rest of the group to laugh as Monica playfully smacked him. "Okay, okay...but here's the deal...you've cut off my toe, you scarred me from Pictionary...I will be on your team if you promise not to injure me."

"I can't make that promise," Monica said.

"Monica...love isn't supposed to hurt," Chandler grinned.

"Shut up," Monica laughed.

"Come on, let's play. I've never played," Phoebe said.

The group split up with Joey, Chandler and Monica on one team, Ross, Phoebe and Rachel on the other. Chandler kept clutching to a water bottle that Joey was quite sure was not water. It took every ounce of strength he had to just not beat him with it. He would concentrate on golf. He made his choice, Chandler over Meadow. He took his turn and stepped back, looking at Monica and Chandler.

"Alright, oooo...that was good. You're up Mon," Joey said walking back towards them. Monica gave Chandler a look as she stepped up to take her turn. Chandler took another swig of his water bottle.

"That's not water, is it?" Joey asked.

"I'm fine, Joe."

"Fuck...we're gonna do this again?" Joey asked, muttering.

"Leave me alone, Joey."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Joey asked.

"Really, yeah."

"You don't get it yet, do you? I'm not letting you die."

"Fuck you, Joey….you know you really don't scare me," Chandler said.

"Aww, but I should," Joey said, "who's your dealer?"

"None of your business," Chandler said.

"Awww, score. Hole in one. I rock," Monica suddenly yelled, "good job, Monica."

"Your turn, asshole," Joey said.

"Stop being a prick. It's my birthday," Chandler said.

"I don't give a shit," Joey said.

"Boys," Monica said, standing before them. Joey hadn't even realized she was there. "Chandler, your turn. Do you want me to hold your water?"

"No," Chandler said as he walked up to take his turn.

"Joey," Monica said.

"I'm sorry, Mon," Joey whispered.

"Hey, you have an audition for your robot show, that's good. You've been wanting an audition for that show for a month and you finally got it," Monica said.

"Look at him, he's wasted," Joey said.

Joey and Monica watched Chandler struggle with keeping his balance as he tried to hit the ball.

"I know."

"You know, Meadow Soprano? She's graduating high school today. I was supposed to go, thought I'd do this instead."

"That's sweet."

Joey shook his head. It didn't feel sweet at all.

"You know, you're losing weight. If you're doing-"

"I'm not-" Monica said.

"Okay. 'Cause come on, this is ridiculous."

"I know but you said...he loves us more than the addiction. I have to believe that."

"If you lose more weight I'm gonna kill you," Joey said.

Monica laughed as she linked her arm in his and rested her head on his shoulder, "thanks for looking out for me, Joe."

"Anytime."

They continued to watch Chandler hit the ball. Each one taking their turn as Chandler proceeded to get drunk and Monica continued to look more and more worried. After playing golf, the group went to a pizza place to continue the birthday celebrations. As they ordered pizza and beers, there was a discomfort that floated over the group. No one was really saying much of anything.

"Chandler?" Rachel asked quietly as they were all eating.

"Yeah?" Chandler asked.

"That bottle of water you had when we were playing golf...that wasn't water, was it?" Rachel asked.

"I don't want to talk about this, it's my birthday," Chandler said.

"Dude, what is going on? Let us in...we can help you. We wanna help you. If you're going through the drugs again, then we will be there again. Seriously, let us in. Do you need rehab? What do you need?" Ross asked.

"I need you to stop. I'm fine...I am grateful for all of you, but I am fine. It is all good," Chandler said as they all exchanged looks. The tension remained with not much else to do or say. The tension was soon broken by a cell phone ring. Joey looked down at his pants, realizing it was his pants that were ringing. He fished inside his pocket, grabbed his phone and flipped it open.

"Hello?"

On the other end of the line, he heard sobbing. He was confused as he got up and walked away from the table.

"Hello?" He asked again.

"J-J-Joey-you-have to get to Jersey, please, it's Meadow. Please come, it's important," Meadow said between sobs.

"Why are you crying? Didn't you graduate high school today? It's supposed to be a joyous occasion," Joey said.

"Please. He's arrested," Meadow said, practically screaming into the phone.

"Wait, what?" Joey asked.

"Hey, it's me," Christopher's voice suddenly came through on the other line, "where the hell are you?"

"I'm at a mini golf course in New York. Celebrating a birthday. What's going on?"

"Okay, you need to get to the Sopranos."

"I have an audition tomorrow….for the show with the robot," Joey said.

"I don't give a shit. They came in here, the FBI issued a search warrant and they arrested Tony," Christopher said.

"Fuck. Is Dina there?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, hold on," Christopher said as Joey heard rumbling in the background until he heard Dina get on the line.

"Okay, Joe. You gotta get over here. It's madness. Mom and Dad and everyone are on their way, I'm trying to comfort Meadow. AJ is….I don't know and Carmela. Just get over here," Dina said.

"I'm on my way," Joey hung up and walked over to the other five who were still eating in silence, "I have to go."

"What?" Monica asked.

"Where are you going?" Phoebe asked.

"It's like ten at night," Rachel said.

"Tony just got arrested….during Meadow's high school graduation party," Joey said.

"Oh, that sucks," Rachel said.

"So you're leaving my birthday?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, I thought I'd check out early on the fun of watching you publicly kill and destroy yourself," Joey said, not meaning to sound as harsh as he did but he has chosen Chandler over family and he was beginning to regret his choice.

"You're an asshole," Chandler said.

"Yeah, go fuck yourself," Joey said.

"Boys," Monica said.

"I'll walk you out," Ross said as he got up. He followed Joey outside where Joey pacing, furious.

"Hey, you gotta lay off him," Ross said.

"No, I am so fucking sick of this. I actually missed Meadow's graduation because we missed his birthday last year and I didn't want him to be upset so I thought….there was fucking vodka in that bottle, Ross."

"I know."

"I can't….I-I should have been at Meadow's graduation. I watched that girl grow up. She and Dina are best friends, I was there when Meadow was born. I should have been there but I chose him because I figured he needed me and he's fucking wasted on a mini golf course. Grow the fuck up," Joey said, "and now I've gotta go to New Jersey because..."

"You've got to calm down," Ross said.

"Don't tell me to calm down," Joey said.

"If there are still cops at that house, you cannot go in there ready to beat people up. I don't want you ending up in prison."

"Monica's getting too thin."

"I know."

"How are you so calm?" Joey asked.

"Kara-tay," Ross said.

"Get away from me."

"By the way, you left your pizza there. I will eat it all," Ross said.

"You're a horrible person," Joey said, knowing Ross was trying to make him laugh.

"Alright, look, go take care of your family and how about tomorrow….after your audition? Come to NYU-"

"I'm not going to a dino lecture."

"I'm not gonna take you to a lecture. I only have morning classes, after we can go dirt biking?"

"I'd like that," Joey said as he hailed a cab. He was furious. He was angry. He just could not go back into the restaurant, even if his pizza was still there. When the cab pulled up, he got in and quickly headed to Jersey, trying desperately to calm himself down.

The commotion inside the Soprano home was insane. The noise, the yelling, the crying. He found Christopher sitting at the kitchen table drinking a beer.

"What the hell happened?" Joey asked.

"It sucks man, seriously….once again, I get the shaft. The FBI doesn't care about me?" Christopher asked.

"Okay, I can only deal with one drug addicted narcissist a night. Chandler already took that role. Why is Tony in prison?"

"They're investigating."

"What?"

"Stuff, by the way, did you ever read my script."

"Yeah, it sucked," Joey said.

"That's cold man and by the way, you should have been here today so don't even pull this shit. You forgot your family," Christopher said.

"I have to go find Meadow," Joey said, Ross was right. He had to control his anger. He just could not yell or punch or do anything. He still had an audition the next day. He was just becoming pissed about the entire evening and he had good news to share. He had an audition but between Chandler and Tony, all this was becoming too much and Christopher's comment got to him as well, he had chosen Chandler over his actual family. He should have been there. He could have done something.


	44. Chapter 44

**April 2000-May 2000**

He was still pacing around the Soprano home. There was such a flurry of activity that he could barely catch his breath. Before he realized it, it was almost four thirty in the morning. He had that audition. He needed to be back in New York. He needed to sleep a little before this audition. He needed to not be in New Jersey.

"I gotta get home," Joey said, standing up from the couch. Carmela was still up, Christopher, his parents, the house was still as busy as it had been when he got there as if the time didn't matter.

"You're leaving now?" Christopher asked.

"It's four thirty. The first train leaves the station at a quarter after five, I need to get home. I have an audition at 9:30. Maybe I can sleep on the train," Joey said.

"Why don't you have your Sugar Daddy pick you up?" Christopher asked.

"Shut up, Carmela I will-"

"It's okay sweetie," Carmela said, getting up to him and walking over to him. She gently cupped his face in her hands, "go home. You can't do anything here. You've done enough."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, he didn't die. We know where he is," Carmela joked.

"True and I'll visit him later today," Joey said.

"Perfect," Carmela said, kissing him on the cheek. Joey bid farewell to his parents as he raced out the door and took a cab to the train station. He didn't want to leave but he felt he just had to. He had to get back to his life. He had not really slept in twenty four hours. Everything was a blur. He finally made it home around 6:30am. He just wanted a quick nap before he left for the audition. As he reached the landing, he was shocked to see Monica walking out of her apartment, holding her chef's coat and chef's hat in a clear plastic garment bag. She was staring at the door, not really noticing him.

"Are you going to work?" Joey asked.

Monica jumped when she noticed him and immediately walked over to him, greeting him with a hug.

"Are you just coming back home?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, it's been a long night. Why are you going to work now? Who's making me breakfast?"

"Nice, Joe. I got some shipments that are coming in that I need to sign for and then I need to work on the specials and...I have a lot to do," Monica said, she was now a head chef at a restaurant called Alessandro's.

"How were things after I left?"

"Quiet. You can't get so angry at him. I mean, yeah, I'm furious and I wanna kill him but…."

"I know, it's….I love that guy and I don't understand why he's doing this? I mean, Tony's in prison and I get why he might be. He's done some stuff….people are dead because of him and I understood the whole thing with Shane but I didn't care that much. He was my friend but….I don't know."

"I get it. But you said he loves us more than the addiction and I'm relying on that belief and I'm relying on you believing that. Okay? I mean, Rachel's just gonna cry about how he's dying, Phoebe's just gonna be pissed and yell at him and say she doesn't want to be his friend, Ross is gonna just tell me what to do….I just need to know you're there. You're my teddy bear….you need to keep playing that role," Monica said.

Joey laughed, "wait, I'm not a teddy bear."

"Okay, you're a teddy bear who could also kill people," Monica said.

"I like that," Joey mused as he embraced her, hugging her. He felt her bones within his arms, she was too thin. "Monica, promise me….I will be your gun toting teddy bear but you need to eat. I know I can't be with you today but come on….we've got enough of a problem to deal with right now. In fact, I will bring home a Joey's Special tonight and I will let you have a whole pizza."

"I actually can't eat a whole pizza."

"Oh you will."

"You know that's not how it works, right?"

"Mon"

"I'll eat it's just...he scares me."

"I know."

"I gotta go," Monica said, giving him one last hug before walking off. Joey walked back into his apartment. He looked towards Rachel's room, her light was still off as he walked towards her room. He thought he heard a sniffling and wondered if she was okay.

"Rachel?" Joey asked.

Rachel turned over and gasped looking at him standing in the doorway. She had been crying. He walked towards her as she sat up and looked at him.

"You're back?"

"Yep."

"Joey….I'm really scared. Just….I had a really horrible dream. I dreamt that we were at his funeral. Chandler's funeral and...I just...the thought of losing him and we were at the funeral and-and-then Brian's….Brian was alive in my dream and then he died again. We had to bury both of them. I don't wanna lose him and I don't know why he's doing this and why we can't stop it. Why is he putting us through this?" Rachel asked, tears streaming down her face as he leaned into hug her. She grabbed hold of his shirt and was shaking in his arms. "And...and we had-it was all so real.. We had to put dirt on his casket and there was a headstone and it had his name on it and he was buried next to Brian and...it said his name and the years, the birthdate and….I miss him. Phoebe was singing a song about him and Monica put roses on his casket and….it was all so real."

He kept holding her. She was crying like he had seen before. He remembered her grabbing Brian's body, trying to wake him up. He remembered her screaming and sobbing. He wanted to say more. He wanted her to be okay, but he didn't know what else to say. He didn't know how to make it better. He just held her until she slowly pulled away.

"I should probably get ready for work. We shouldn't have had a golf birthday on a Sunday. His actual birthday was on a Saturday."

"I know but you know Mon wanted to do a private dinner with him on his actual birthday."

"I know. It felt so real. Every part of the dream. His body was even in the casket. You know my friend Brian? I found his body. I hadn't heard from him and I went to his place and pounded on his door and his super let me in and I was...I was grabbing his body and shaking and….in this dream, I found Chandler's body. I know it sounds horrible. I saw him lying there and I was shaking him like I shook Brian and he wasn't waking up."

"Horrible dream."

"Yeah."

"It's not gonna happen. I promise you. It isn't gonna happen."

"I have to get ready. You should rest a little. You've had a long night."

"I did."

Rachel wiped the tears from her face and got up, walking to the door before turning to look at him.

"How's Tony?" Rachel asked.

"In prison."

"Oh...well, good luck on your audition."

"Thanks."

Rachel walked out of her room. Joey slowly got up and walked out of Rachel's room and into his room, he needed to rest up a little bit before his big moment. His time in the spotlight. He deserved it so after a quick nap, he headed to his audition. He wanted this part so badly, to be in his own sitcom where he could have a robot sidekick. That was the dream.

After the audition, which he thought went amazingly well, he met up with Ross but instead of going dirt biking, the two headed back to Jersey. Joey wanted to visit Tony in prison and he was shocked when Ross agreed to go with him.

"You know you're going to a prison," Joey said, as they sat side by side on the train.

"I know. I'll be there for you. You never know. I may have been to a prison before."

"Really? What's the worst thing you've ever done Ross?" Joey asked.

"I'm not telling. I'm no snitch," Ross joked.

"Okay, really? Here's a question. You said that you used to drive Bing and his buddies around in college. You would drive them in Sally. I've seen pictures of that car. That was an amazing car."

"Oh, yeah….5.7 V8 engine. It was a beautiful car."

"You also said you used to wait outside while they'd go clubbing and so you'd sit in the car and wait because you weren't twenty one yet."

"Yeah."

"I call bullshit. You're sitting in a Corvette, the streets of New York are practically empty. You've got three bozos, I don't know about Kip and Gandalf but one is an undiagnosed alcoholic….and you probably got them to the clubs at like ten and they were probably never out till four am on the dot, all completely obliterated and you're telling me, you just sat in that car? Six, seven hours, you just sat in a Corvette all by yourself without going anywhere?" Joey asked, giving him a look. "Bullshit."

Ross looked at Joey and soon a smile appeared on his face. Joey knew he had him.

"How do you do that? Alright, yeah, I would drive around by myself. Sometimes I'd pick up some buddies of mine and we'd drive, get something to eat, sometimes see a midnight showing of a movie….I'd always be back there by four with my friends all dropped off. Kip, Gandalf and Chandler were never out of the club before four and they were always so obliterated that even if I showed up at 4:05, they had no idea," Ross said.

"Nice. I knew you didn't just sit there like an ass."

"First couple of times I did, but after awhile I realized that they were not going to leave until the club closed down and there was never parking in front of the club anyway...so I just had some fun," Ross said. "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? My buddies and I saw a midnight showing of that. I dropped Chandler, Kip and Gandalf off at some club around nine thirty, ten and then I picked up my friends Jonathan and Sam and we went to get burgers and fries and pizza and snuck it all into the theater and we also bought so much candy. We saw Indiana Jones then after the movie, I dropped Jonathan and Sam off and then picked up Gandalf, Chandler and Kip. Funny thing was, I was not subtle. I still was eating movie theater candy and was repeating lines from the movie. They were so wasted that they were clueless."

"Amazing. That must have been an unbelievable car to drive."

"Oh, you have no idea and that late at night, the streets were practically empty and I just would go from one end of the city to the other. It was fun."

"Thought so. You're not so innocent, Geller."

"I never said I was."

"Thanks for coming with me."

"Of course and I'm glad the audition went well."

"I could have a robot sidekick."

"That's the dream."

Joey nodded as they continued sitting on the train, headed into Jersey. They soon ended up at the East Jersey State Prison where Tony was apparently located. Joey truly hated this. He hated that he was seeing Tony here.

"You're sticking with me, right?" Joey asked.

"I'm not leaving."

Joey nodded as they walked in. After a series of pat-downs and security stuff, Ross was told he had to wait in a special waiting area while Joey went back to talk to Tony. He sat and waited, gasping a little when Tony showed up in an orange jumpsuit on the other side of the glass. They picked up their phones, separating them.

"What the hell?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, here I am. Feds got me. Don't worry I'll be out soon. It's a misunderstanding. Why weren't you at the graduation?"

"Friend's birthday."

"One of your bozos."

"Yeah, Tony how did this happen?"

"Really?" Tony asked.

"Well...we're gonna get you out? We have to get you out."

"I'll be out, don't worry kid. They got nothing on me."

Joey nodded. He felt like a little kid again. He didn't want Tony there. He didn't want to be looking at him like that, behind bars, behind glass. Tony was larger than life. He didn't belong in a cell. Joey wasn't sure what else he could say, maybe he could get some bail money together but he could barely scrape up money for rent.

Leaving Tony behind was even worse. He hated not being able to hug him. When he left, he and Ross walked away from the prison in silence. There was just so much he wanted to say. He felt tired and so much like he wanted things to change.

"You know….when I was a kid. I wanted to be Tony Soprano. I probably still do. I mean, I know what he does. I've seen it up close and he's done some bad shit but...he's a hero. I can't help it."

"I'm sorry," Ross said.

"It's not your fault. It's just hard seeing him like that, you know."

Ross patted him on the back as they walked off towards the train station. He had thought of going back to the Sopranos house but he was exhausted, his lack of sleep catching up to him. As soon as he arrived back home, he went to sleep. Thinking once he slept, things might change.

Getting that job was the first thing. He got the job. He would be on his own television show. He hadn't had his own show in years. Since Vince and Bob, that was the last one and that was almost nine years ago. He had flown to Los Angeles, convinced Kristi to move with him. The show had been short lived but he had had fun. He loved being with his best friend so much and maybe he could convince her again.

"How great would that be?" Joey asked over pizza. They were celebrating.

"Joey-"

"Look, they're still looking for the role of the assistant for the robot and I-"

"This show sounds awful."

"It's a television show and I haven't had a lead in a role in like….Vince and Bob was awesome. Remember how much fun we had?"

"It got canceled so quickly and I have Ashley-"

"Stop using her as a reason to not do this. Come on, you know you want to….please?"

"I'm not using her as an excuse."

"Yes, you are. She should be the reason you want to do this. Not the reason you don't," Joey said.

"Okay….alright, I'll do it."

"Yay."

"So Tony?" Kristi said.

"Still in prison. I wish I could get him out. Seeing him in that…."

"Well, you knew that was a possibility. It was always a possibility."

"Here's thing….I didn't. I always thought maybe, just maybe he'd be the one who would…he seemed untouchable. I know what he does but he's Tony effin' Soprano. He's…."

"I know," Kristi said, squeezing his hand.

"You think he'd be proud?"

"That you're acting with a robot?"

"Yeah," Joey said.

"Very," Kristi said.

He would have to tell Tony. Joey was absolutely thrilled. This meant everything. He would handle it differently though, he would have to. This show would definitely be successful. There was no reason why it shouldn't be. He would be with a robot and when he found out that Kristi had gotten the part of the secretary, he was even more excited and as hard as he wanted to hold back, he was still secretly practicing that Emmy speech.

Rachel was the last one of the group to turn thirty. Her family had decided to throw her a birthday party at a fancy hotel. It was a very fancy party with very fancy people. Joey was actually a little amused watching Rachel be so uncomfortable, mingling with these people whom he didn't know. She had even recruited Monica to help her mingle.

"Those girls seem so ridiculous," Phoebe said, motioning towards a table of girls that Joey had heard a little about. Apparently, those were Rachel's friends from high school and college. They were the ones that left those horrible messages for her back when Rachel had left Barry.

"They were," Ross said.

"Two Face, right?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, how she acted with Nancy and Mindy….was pretty awful. Not sure why any of them are here," Ross said.

Monica and Rachel soon rejoined the rest of them at the table. Monica looked a little annoyed as Ross lifted his glass.

"So, to Rachel...the final one to turn thirty," Ross said as he lifted his glass. The rest followed suit.

"I know, we're all in our thirties now guys. How did this happen?" Rachel asked as they all clicked their glasses and drank.

"Easy. We were all born in the sixties," Chandler joked.

"I have made a major life decision, though," Joey said, "I am now and will forever be...twenty one years old."

"Until eight months from now when you're thirty three?" Chandler asked.

"Your thirties are making you mean," Joey said.

"Whatever you say, old man," Chandler teased.

"Fuck you, asshole," Joey shot back.

The group laughed as they drank. Joey was just taking in everything, once again remarking how different Rachel's life was before she came into the group. Remembering that she had actually come to one of his parties, he kinda chuckled at that. What must have that been like? Perhaps a culture shock? He looked over at Chandler with the intent of making a joke and was stopped by his appearance. Chandler seemed to look pale. He was shaking, sweating. He looked freaked out.

"Hey, Chan...you alright?" Joey asked.

"Rach, who's that?" Chandler asked.

Joey looked over to where Chandler was pointing. It was a tall guy across the room. He looked old.

"Oh, that's my Uncle Rick. He's the best. He's so funny. Chandler, actually, you'd like him. He loves all those old movies and old time comics and stuff. I should introduce you two," Rachel said.

"No," Chandler said.

"Chandler, are you okay? You're shaking?" Phoebe asked.

"I'm fine," Chandler said.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked.

"Are you sure that's him?" Monica asked.

"Yep," Chandler said.

"What...tell me? What's going on" Rachel asked.

"Baby, tell 'em," Monica said.

"Not now," Chandler said.

"Tell them," Monica said, grabbing his hand. Chandler looked at Monica and then back at Rachel.

"Alright, okay...remember I told you how my mom had a boyfriend who um...when I was like ten, did stuff to me," Chandler said.

"Yeah," Rachel said.

"That's him," Chandler said.

"Uncle Rick? No, no...he's harmless. He wouldn't hurt anyone. He used to take us out on his boat and stuff and..." Rachel began and suddenly stopped.

"I'll talk to him," Phoebe said as she started to get up.

"I'll come with you," Joey said, getting up as well. If that was the guy, then he'd do more than talk. He knew this story now and he would have no choice but to beat him up. He had messed up his brother.

"Guys, no. Chandler...come with me," Rachel said.

"No. It's fine," Chandler said.

"Chandler, you're thirty one years old now and six feet tall. I think you're safe. Come on...please come with me," Rachel said.

Chandler let out a sigh. Monica gave him a kiss as she leaned into his ear, whispering something. Chandler shook his head as he stood up and walked towards Rachel who was waiting for him. She grabbed his hand and the two began walking towards Rick.

"I want to him to be happy, so bad," Monica said.

"I know. He is. He's got you," Joey said.

"He's drinking too much. He's gained weight...and he's drinking in secret. He's doing something. I don't know. I think he fell off the wagon. I want him to be okay, you know? I love him so much and I hate that he doesn't see how wonderful he is," Monica said.

"He will, Mon. He will," Phoebe said.

Joey watched as Rachel grabbed Chandler's arm, holding him with what seemed like an almost death like grip. Rachel's face soon seemed contorted and it looked like she was starting to cry as Chandler stepped next to her. He said something to Rick and it was apparent, Chandler now had several inches on Rick. Rachel's father approached them and they were all talking. Joey wished he could hear as Rachel seemed to be almost sobbing as Chandler looked like he was in a trance. Rick and Rachel's father soon seemed to be arguing and Rachel's dad placed his arm around Rick's shoulder's and seemed to forcefully lead him out of the room. Rachel turned to Chandler who immediately hugged her, tightly and Joey began making plans. He would not rely on Tony, he was in prison still but there were guys working in his absence. He would have to call those people. He'd call Christopher, someone. A plan needed to be set in motion.

The two slowly walked back to the table. Joey moved back to his seat as Chandler sat back with Monica who quickly embraced him. Ross moved to comfort Rachel as she was crying.

"I'm so sorry, Chandler," Rachel managed to spit out as they sat down.

"Rach, it's fine," Chandler said.

"No. I'm just so sorry. I'm sorry that happened...I-" Rachel tried before dissolving into sobs again.

"Rachel, this isn't your fault. Wait, was it Rick?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. Rachel's dad asked him to leave. So did Rach...hey, Rach, I still think you're awesome," Chandler said reaching for her hand and squeezing it.

"I just...I don't like thinking that me or any member of my family caused pain to you, Chandler or to you Phoebe...you two have already been through so much and I just want you both to be happy and I don't like that you were in pain because of something I did or my uncle did," Rachel said, now in hysterics. Phoebe grabbed Rachel's hand.

Yep, he would have to make calls. This was not going to end well.

"Hey, I am happy," Phoebe said.

"I burned down your apartment," Rachel said.

"But your hair looks fabulous," Phoebe grinned which made Rachel laugh as she wiped away the tears from her face.

"I am sorry. Both of you," Rachel said.

"Rachel, listen to me. You are amazing and I am not mad at you and I do not hate you and I am very happy to be celebrating with you. You're thirty...and hot," Phoebe grinned.

"I know," Rachel said.

"And Rach...same here. You didn't cause me any pain. Really, if anything...I liked that you were a pain in my ass when we met at camp. It was normal," Chandler said.

"You did put peanut butter in my bed...and on my car," Rachel said.

"I wouldn't do it now though," Chandler said.

"Good. Thank you. Thank you, guys. I love you guys so much. Thank you letting me into your group. You're the only people I wanna spend this day with," Rachel said as Phoebe leaned in to hug her. Chandler let out a sigh as Monica held his hand. "And you," Rachel said staring at Joey.

"What?" Joey asked, his mind was whirling with so many different plans that he wasn't aware that Rachel was even speaking to him.

"No calls. No calling in favors," Rachel said.

"Tony's in prison," Joey said.

"Joey," Rachel said.

"I-no….Rach….I can't….I get he's your uncle but-"

"Joey, please don't," Chandler said.

"Really?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, please," Chandler said.

Joey let out an annoyed sigh. He really wanted to do something. He wanted to protect them. He wanted to protect Rachel, he wanted to protect Chandler. Chandler was spiraling, Monica was sick, Rachel was crying. He remembered Rachel telling him about the dream. No, he couldn't just sit there. He couldn't just let it go. He threw his napkin down on the table, got up and began to storm across the room towards the door where he had seen Rachel's dad walking Rick out when he felt someone pulling him back. He turned and saw Monica standing there. She had a strangely strong grip on his arm.

"Ow," Joey said, looking at Monica as he rubbed his arm.

"Do not go out there," Monica said.

"But-I-he ruined Chandler-"

"Chandler ruined Chandler."

"That guy-"

"I know."

"It would take one call. All….it wouldn't even get traced back to me or you-"

"It's still her uncle. It's still her family and Chandler needs to deal with this as an adult. You making any call is gonna make it worse. If you care about the five of us at all….and you do, right?" Monica asked.

"Yeah."

"You've chosen us over your own family many times so we do mean something to you."

"Yes."

"Then sit your ass down at that table and don't do a goddam thing."

"Okay, but Mon-"

"Joseph."

"Rick's a monster. Chandler was a ten year old kid."

"I know."

"What if he hadn't-"

"Chandler would still be struggling."

"He's destroying you and Rachel and….Chandler's destroying-"

"Give us some credit, Tribbiani. Rachel, me, Pheebs, Ross….hell, even Chandler...we're all stronger than you give us credit for," Monica said as she reached for his hand, "Now come with me and we're going back to the table."

Monica grabbed his hand and they walked back to the table. He sat back down, still angry. He wanted to do something. He wanted to hit someone. He kept watching that door. Rachel's dad walked back in without Rick. Joey was still angry as Rachel got up with the intent to mingle. As she walked past him, she placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"We will talk later," Rachel said as she walked off. He was trying to remain calm. He needed to remain calm.

"Hey, Chandler-" Ross said.

"I'm not talking about it," Chandler said.

"But honey," Monica said.

"No. No, I'm not...Pheebs," Chandler said looking over at Phoebe. A sad smile appeared on her face as she nodded.

"I get it. We don't need to talk about it now, okay," Phoebe said.

"I know you guys care, I know you love me, I know you wanna help and you wanna fix but...I just-I don't-that guy-I-I-" Chandler said, his voice tightening again.

"Ross, Joey said that you guys are going to try and make a Batmobile for Ben," Phoebe said.

"Thank you," Chandler muttered.

Ross had told Joey that Ben wanted to make a Batmobile so the two had decided to build one for him.

"Yeah, I'm still trying to locate some parts. You should help us Bing," Joey said.

"Definitely. I don't know what the hell I'm doing," Ross said,

"Yeah, that would be fun...wait, where are you locating these parts?" Chandler asked, grinning slightly.

"Yeah, should we be concerned?" Monica asked.

"I got a buddy who owns a junkyard and-" Joey said.

"What kind of buddy?" Chandler asked.

"A friend," Joey said.

"Wait, wait...is it a 'junkyard'", Phoebe said doing air quotes around junkyard, "wink, wink."

The group laughed as Joey let out a snort. He liked that his friends were laughing but he just could not stop thinking about Rick. When they got back home that evening, Rachel stopped him from going into his room. She had said earlier they would talk and she was going to do just that.

"No calls. He's still my uncle. Let my family take care of it."

"Are you gonna call the cops?"

"I don't know. I don't….I think so and-"

"Hey," Chandler said, opening the door and poking his head in. "Monica's getting ready for bed. Can I talk to you two?"

"Sure," Rachel said.

"Please both of you….do not do anything," Chandler said, "do not call anyone and-"

"I was thinking of calling the cops and seeing what the statute of limitations are and-well-"

"There is no statute of limitations for rape for New York," Joey said.

"I don't care. I don't want you calling the cops, I don't want you calling a hitman," Chandler said.

"Chandler we can probably do something, we can….he needs to pay for this and-and-" Rachel said.

"I want to get over it," Chandler said.

"You may not be the only person he's done this to," Joey said.

"Have you raped other girls since Monique?" Chandler asked.

"You really want to go down that road?" Joey asked.

"I want to let this go. It's been twenty one years, I don't….please, if either one of you love me at all, I am begging you to let it go. I don't want him ending up dead in an alley, I don't want him rotting in a prison cell. It's been twenty one years. Please."

"But you haven't let it go. You're forcing us to watch as you kill yourself," Rachel said.

"Please, promise me," Chandler said.

"Fine," Rachel said.

"Fine," Joey said.

"I will take better care of myself. I'm okay. I'm not killing myself. I don't have a problem, I'm fine. Just had a bad patch. All better now," Chandler said.

Rachel and Joey stood silently and watched as Chandler walked out of the apartment. Joey walked over to her and placed her arm around her. She shook her head and walked towards her room, locking the door behind her. Fine, if Chandler didn't want anything done with Rick, Joey could still work on Chandler. He just needed to figure out who that dealer was.


	45. Chapter 45

**May 2000**

Nothing more was mentioned of Rick and he reluctantly agreed to not make calls. Tony was still in prison so maybe it was best that Joey not make any moves. Tony could not protect him and Tony's crew was going to protect Tony. So he just concentrated on getting ready to be on a television show as well as keeping Chandler alive. He was pleasantly surprised when Chandler did go with him and Ross to the junkyard to go get some parts for Ben's Batmobile and it was actually a pretty fun day. They ran around, looking for parts and it really seemed like old times topped off with some pizza and Chandler telling them he had important news. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring and showed it to them.

"Are you asking me to marry you?" Joey asked, grinning.

"Bite me," Chandler said.

"Wait, we've been hanging out all day and you waited-" Ross said.

"I-I know...I-I took Phoebe and she helped. I guess Monica had put our names down at the Morgan Chase museum and I want to get married to your sister. I want-you're not gonna be planning my funeral," Chandler said.

"Dude," Joey said, he was trying, Chandler was at least trying.

"No, look I know you guys are all worried and-and scared. I know….I wanna marry your sister."

"You have my permission," Ross said.

"I'm not asking."

"I know."

"I just don't wanna lose her," Chandler said. "I really wanna try to stop and-I'm not-look, I've spent so long being unhappy. The stuff that happened with Shane or Rick...it's fucked me up...I want happy. I found that with Monica."

"But….okay, I'm gonna be really honest...remember how I'd say that you treated Lizzie like shit. That you basically fucked up that relationship. She did everything for you and she broke several times. You're heading back into that territory and this time, it's with my sister so you already lost your first love of your life because you turned it into this unhealthy, toxic thing where she took care of you….so if you don't want to repeat history, figure it out," Ross said.

"Yeah, man, and whatever you need from us….let us know," Joey said.

"I will. I'm not gonna repeat it. I know I screwed up with Lizzie and I know...it's gonna be better, I swear….I'm gonna get married and I'll do it once and I'll say Monica's name and not Lizzie's at the altar and-"

"You're a lesbian?" Joey asked.

"Very much so," Chandler grinned.

Ross laughed, taking a bite of his pizza. Chandler would be proposing. This could be good, maybe this was a step in the right direction.

"I am your Best Man though, right?" Joey asked. "You promised."

"Whoa," Ross said.

"Okay….can-can you both be my Best Man? I can't-I can't choose between you two. You're brothers and you've….I don't….no, I can't choose."

"I get to plan the Bachelor party," Joey said.

"That's fine," Chandler said.

He wanted this to be the turning point. Maybe Chandler would not let him down. When Chandler and Monica went out for dinner to celebrate their two year anniversary, he thought maybe this would be it except for an unexpected snag. Monica had run into Richard and that had sent Chandler spiraling even more.

A few days after that apparent failed proposal, he was reading through MAC and Cheese, sitting alone in his apartment as the girls were at Chandler and Monica's and Ross was off somewhere. There was a problem, a huge problem. He hated thinking that this script wasn't good. He didn't want to admit the jokes were dumb, he was already on thin ice after insulting the guy who created the robot but it was stupid. Kristi was also pissed, calling him every time she had read one script. He let out an annoyed groan when the phone rang again. He grabbed it, thinking it was Kristi. She had already called five times that day.

"I get it, you don't like it," Joey said picking up the phone.

"What?" A male voice asked.

"What?"

"Joey?"

"Yeah."

"It's Tyler. Chandler's friend. We have a bit of a problem."

"Where are you?"

"Pub 2. Yeah, I can't move him and he's wasted. He's blacked out."

"Fuck. I'll be there. Hey, do you know where he's getting these drugs?" Joey asked.

"I don't."

Joey hung up and walked out, he contemplating getting the girls or calling Ross but instead just headed to the pub where he saw Tyler sitting with Chandler and noticed Chandler, his head down.

"Is he-"

"He's passed out," Tyler said. "He's too heavy. I can't lift him. Was he supposed to get engaged?"

"Yeah but I think something happened. Shit. Is he alive?" Joey asked, lifting Chandler's head up and trying to feel a pulse. He did seem to be breathing still and his skin felt warm. He put Chandler's head back down.

"You know, it's funny….when we were in high school. I thought this guy was the coolest," Tyler said, "he had a Corvette, he had a Commodore 64 with all the games and he had a cute girlfriend who would visit sometimes and-and of course funny as hell with very sad taste in music."

Joey laughed as he looked over at Chandler and then back at Tyler. He liked this, liked talking about the things he liked about Chandler. It always made him less angry.

"Oh my G-d, one time I walked out of the shower, he was blasting Barbra Streisand in our apartment. There was no need for that."

"One time I walked into our dorm in high school and he was on his bed, air guitaring to Barry Manilow," Tyler said.

"Sexy," Joey said.

"Really. Fuck, why doesn't he just….get it? When we reconnected, I was thrilled. Does he have a clue how awesome he is?"

"Ever play him in tennis?" Joey asked.

"In high school. He was on the team and would compete in meets so I'd sometimes play him which was pointless. I can't beat him."

"Me neither. I have a goal. I'm going to find a way."

"I played him once when he was drunk and I still lost and you know….he always drank and I always thought it was cool as a kid. I was pretty sheltered and here was this kid who could like put away booze but-"

"You know, Chandler said he was at a party of mine once. You were guys were still in high school. It was a Halloween party. My neighbor went to your school and that's how you got to my party? I think you went to a game at the school that Rachel Green and Monica and Ross Geller went to?"

"Yeah, oh, yeah….Rachel Green was the one who punched me in the face. My cousin was a friend of her's, Nancy, and Nancy said she had a penis and you know, I asked and then she punched me in the face."

"Smooth."

"I know, but it was your party we went to after?"

"Yeah so question….did he get drunk? I don't remember. I know I hung out with him a little at the beginning but….did he get wasted?"

"Oh, yeah. He was pissed already because it was kind of a waste. He drove us like an hour to Long Island to see about a rumor which I now know is not true and Rachel punched me and was really mean to him and Nancy was a bitch so we covered their cars with peanut butter and mayo and he was already angry when we got to your party. Then he saw a kid he went to middle school with who he hated-"

"That was my buddy Shane."

"Oh well… I don't remember how late we stayed but yeah, he got really drunk and I drove us home 'cause he could not drive and then...and we had to carry him up to our room and be super quiet because even though our school wasn't that strict, an underage kid so drunk he was unable to walk probably would not have looked good but the next day….it was like we just went on with our lives. I didn't think he had a problem then. I do now."

"Who's his dealer? Where's he getting the drugs? It's not just booze."

"I don't know but we gotta go. I gotta go home to my wife and kids."

Joey nodded as both he and Tyler moved in on Chandler to try to arrange him in a way that they could carry him out of the bar. Chandler could barely stand as they loaded him into the back of a cab and took it back to the apartment. Carrying him up all those flights of stairs was tough and Chandler was still blacked out, he still had not woken up. They finally managed to get him into Joey's bedroom. They didn't want to carry him into Monica and Chandler's apartment thinking that would freak her out although they figured they should tell her. They opened the door to the apartment where Monica, Rachel and Phoebe were sitting and chatting.

"Hey," Joey said.

"Hey, guys," Rachel said.

"Um Monica, we should probably tell you….Chandler's sleeping in my room," Joey said.

"Why?" Monica asked.

"He got wasted and I called Joey and we brought him home," Tyler said.

"Tyler, why are you letting him drink that much," Monica said.

"I tried to stop him but I can't and that Gandalf guy is douche," Tyler said before noticing Rachel and grinning, "hey, Rachel."

"Hello, Tyler," Rachel said.

"So...can I ask a question?" Tyler asked.

"I'm gonna punch you in the face again if you ask that question and I'm older now, I can hit harder," Rachel said.

"So he's passed out drunk in your bedroom," Monica said, ignoring Rachel.

"Yep….thought you should know," Joey said.

"Thanks," Monica said as Tyler and Joey walked out of the apartment.

"You wanna come in for a drink?" Joey asked.

"No, I gotta go. I just hope he's okay."

"Me too," Joey said.

Tyler walked off and Joey stared at the door. He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know what else he could do to try to save him. He slowly walked back into his apartment and into his bedroom. Chandler probably had no clue where he even was. He was just wondering when this would all be done, when would Chandler be okay?

He had walked into Central Perk for the sole purpose of quitting working at Central Perk although he was pretty sure he hadn't worked there in weeks. He was probably a worse waiter then Rachel was, Rachel actually showed up. But he figured he'd at least quit or check to make sure he had not been fired. He was side tracked though when he saw Chandler sitting alone on the couch. Joey noticed Chandler reaching into his pocket, open a pill bottle and take a couple out. He put something in his mouth and swallowed it down with coffee and stuffed the bottle back in his pocket. Joey walked over to him and sat down in the big chair.

"What did you just take?" Joey asked.

"Nothing,"

"I just saw you."

"I had a headache."

"Okay, do you know what happened the other day?"

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Do you know how you got home?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"No, no...and you know, I talked with Tyler. That party you were at of mine? You got wasted then too."

"Really, you're gonna judge me," Chandler said.

"You were blacked out drunk a couple days ago, you look like shit, it took me and Tyler to carry you home and carry you up like a bazillion stairs-"

"Clearly, once again, math is not your strong suit."

"Stop with the jokes. Who's your dealer?"

"You keep asking and I don't have one."

"Bullshit. Are you making drugs in your apartment?"

"Look, I'm fine."

"What happened with proposing?"

"She ran into Richard. I think she's gonna leave me for him. I knew it would happen this way. She always liked Richard more."

"Wow, you're an ass. You know that's not true but right now, you're driving her away. You told me you wanted me to make sure you didn't mess this up. You're messing this up. "

"I'm scared Joe."

"Of what?"

"I….can't….stop."

"Then how can I help you stop? Tell me...anything."

"I want her. That's who I want. It's who I've always wanted. I don't…."

"Stop drinking?"

"I don't know how to do that," Chandler said.

"That's a problem. Did you take something just now?"

Chandler slowly nodded. He reached into his pocket and handed Joey an orange plastic bottle. He looked at it. There was no label on it.

"What are these?" Joey asked.

"Vicodin."

"Where are you getting them?"

"I can't tell you," Chandler said.

Joey bit his lip, trying to restrain himself. He knew he couldn't push him in the middle of the coffee house. Too many witnesses. Instead, he shoved the bottle in his pocket and let out a sigh as he grasped his hands together.

"Do you have more? Actually, don't answer….I won't believe you if you say no and if you say yes, I know you won't tell me where they are. What else can I do?"

"Make sure I don't lose her," Chandler said.

"Rehab?"

"I don't need rehab. I just need to stop."

"But you just said you don't know how."

"I'll figure it out. I figured it out twice already. Just….please…"

"Alright. You know, I love you brother….you know that, right? I'd do anything for you. I mean, if someone were about to take a shot at you, I'd jump the guy before that happened," Joey said, of course not revealing how true that statement was. Chandler let out a laugh.

"I know. Okay so what do we do…." Chandler said.

That's when they came up with the plan. He wasn't sure how he came up with this or why he thought it was a good idea but maybe having Monica think Chandler didn't want marriage was a great way to throw her off course, that way it would surprise her even more. Of course, what he did not count on was Richard telling Monica he did want to marry her and sending Chandler spiraling even more and when he vanished again a week later, Joey ended up spilling the entire plan to Phoebe who looked like she wanted to kill him.

"That is-why-you're an idiot," Phoebe said.

"I thought….we could surprise Monica more."

"Richard said he loved her."

"I didn't know that."

"You should have and Richard wants to marry her and-oh my G-d, I was homeless for ten years and even I would know not to pull crap like that."

"Don't pull that card."

"You're in the mob."

"I'm not in the mob."

"I don't care. I'm gonna call Tony right now and have him kill you."

"You can't do that, he's still in prison."

"Fine, who else can I call? Kristi. Oh, she would so want to kill you."

"Don't call Kristi."

"'Cause I'm right."

"Yeah, you are."

Joey was annoyed, he hated when Phoebe was pissed at him and when Rachel walked in, Phoebe immediately told her what he and Chandler had done. Having Phoebe pissed at him was one thing but both Rachel and Phoebe? That was a little much.

"How stupid are you?" Rachel asked.

"You-you-shut up," Joey tried.

"Monica's now trying to find Richard," Rachel said.

"You think she's gonna break up with Chandler and go back to Richard?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know."

"That's gonna kill him," Phoebe said.

"We can't let this end. We can't...if this ends...we're gonna lose him. He's...this can't end," Rachel cried.

"We won't let it end, Rach," Joey said, giving her a look, his eyes filled with fear. "Chandler went to Richard's to look for Monica."

"What they don't make it. Oh my G-d...that plan was stupid, Joey," Rachel said.

"I know, I know. We'll fix this," Joey said when suddenly the door opened and Monica walked in, looking worn out.

"Monica," Rachel said.

"Is Chandler here?" Monica asked.

"No, no...he went looking for you," Joey said.

"Oh. Okay...well, when he comes back, tell him we have to talk," Monica said.

"Oh, G-d," Rachel said.

"It was a plan," Joey said, walking towards Monica and stopping her. Monica looked at him and cocked her head to the side. "It was a plan to throw you off course. Chandler wants to marry you."

"It's okay, Joe. Chandler and I weren't meant to be, right?" Monica said, shrugging.

"Oh, my G-d...he's gonna die," Rachel said.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Rachel," Phoebe said shaking her head as she walked over to Monica, "Joey's right. Chandler wants to marry you. I went with him to buy a ring. He was going to propose to you at the restaurant but Richard came in and then Joey and Chandler hatched the 'I hate marriage' plan to throw you off course. He wants to marry you, Monica. More than anything. He's wanted to marry you since 1995. Please do not break up with him."

Joey kept staring at Monica as she kept staring at the three of them. He hated this plan, he wasn't sure what he had been thinking. He really thought this would have been a surprise. This could make everything okay.

"He was gonna propose at the restaurant?" Monica asked, and the three nodded. "He wants to marry me?" The three continued nodding as a small smile appeared on her face, "Joey...this was the dumbest plan you and Chandler have ever had."

"I know."

"Keep this up and you two may not be allowed to play together anymore," Monica said.

"I'm sorry, Mon," Joey said.

"It's okay. New plan. ...Phoebe and Rachel, get me all the candles you have...I have an idea and Joey, I'm gonna need you to do the best acting job you've ever done. It may involve playing him a little bit more...can you do it?" Monica asked.

"Does it end with him getting engaged?" Joey asked.

"Yes."

"Then I'll do it."

The four went to work. Monica decorated the apartment with candles and set things up for him. Rachel and Phoebe went to Phoebe's apartment to get all the candles after Rachel gave Monica all the candles she had. They figured if anyone had candles, it was Phoebe and if she didn't have enough, they'd buy more on the way home. Joey helped Monica set up.

"Monica, I am sorry."

"I know."

"So this is good, right?"

"I love him. I do and it's always been him. He loves us more than his addiction, right?"

"Yeah. You know he would do anything for you?"

"I don't know. I know….he's still making me sick."

"I know….but I think he's realizing there's a problem."

"You think so?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, I do.

"Sometimes I wish it was easier. Sometimes I wish I didn't feel this way. It would be so easy. I could write him off. Breaking up with him, the idea of it made me feel sicker. I love him. I wanna spend the rest of my life with him. I just….'cause when he's healthy, oh, G-d."

"Yeah. I know."

"Okay, I can't cry yet," Monica said, fanning her eyes and letting out a laugh as she walked over to him. "I'm getting married."

"Yes you are."

"I'm sorry I'm breaking up the bromance," Monica said.

"Who says it's broken? I mean, last night….while cuddling in the bathtub….." Joey began which made Monica laugh. She playfully smacked him as he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her and planting a kiss on her head. She stepped back and quickly went back to work.

Soon they were finished and waiting. Monica stood in the doorway of her and Chandler's apartment, looking back occasionally at all the candles. Rachel and Phoebe stood in the doorway of Rachel and Joey's apartment. Joey stood on the landing, holding a plastic bag pretending he was throwing out trash.

"He's not coming," Monica whispered, nervously.

"He's coming," Rachel said."

"Did someone call him to tell him to come home?" Monica asked.

They hadn't. No one had. There was a fear that hit them all, wondering if maybe it was all too late. They stood in silence, waiting to hear footsteps and when they finally heard them, there seemed to be a collective sigh of relief. Quickly, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica left and Joey was standing alone in the hall waiting for Chandler. When Chandler stepped onto the landing, he was truly a mess and his heart broke. He hated what he was about to do. He told Chandler that Monica had left him and Chandler's eyes filled with tears. This was tough, he could almost see his friend break.

"I screwed this up," Chandler said.

"I am so sorry," Joey said.

"I can't-I can't-I...I..."

"Call her, talk to her."

"Fuck...I'm an asshole. I fucked this up. Best thing to ever happen to me in my life and I fucked this up," Chandler said as he opened the door to the apartment. Joey grinned as Monica stood there, smiling in the midst of a sea of candles. Chandler looked back at Joey, stunned.

"You wanted it to be a surprise," Monica said.

Joey walked out of the apartment and turned towards his. He opened the door as Phoebe and Rachel hugged him.

"That was tough," Joey said.

"Did he buy it?" Rachel asked.

"Yep...and they're in there now."

"He's sick again," Rachel said.

"I know," Joey said.

"Let's go try to listen," Phoebe said.

Joey nodded as the trio walked outside and tried their best to listen through the thick green door although it was fairly impossible.

"Do you think now, he'll finally be happy?" Rachel asked.

"I hope so," Phoebe said.

"Me too," Joey said.

"And I wish they'd speak up," Phoebe said to which both Rachel and Joey agreed. They waited for about ten minutes until they could no longer stand it and Joey screamed, asking if they could finally come in. They could hear Monica telling them to come in. Joey opened the door and the trio ran up to Monica and Chandler and they all embraced until realizing Ross wasn't there. They would need to call Ross...and start celebrating.

"I think we have champagne at my place and I'll call Ross," Joey said as he walked towards the door.

"Thanks, Joey," Monica said as Joey walked to the door.

"Actually, Mon," Chandler said, "do we have Red Bull in the fridge?"

"Yeah, why?" Monica asked.

"I think I'm gonna give up drinking," Chandler said.

"Really?" Monica asked.

"Yeah...I think I should...I...I found someone worth stopping for," Chandler said looking over at Monica who looked about ready to melt.

"Wait...I wasn't worth stopping for?" Joey asked.

"Get the hell out of here," Chandler said.

"Alright, I'll call Ross," Joey said, laughing as he walked out of the apartment to grab some champagne and to call Ross. Standing in the middle of the landing though, he had to catch his breath. Chandler had decided to stop drinking? He wasn't sure if he believed it yet or not but he desperately wanted to and in that moment of pure celebration, he would.


	46. Chapter 46

**October 2000**

It was failing. MAC and Cheese was a failure. A catastrophe of huge proportions. He didn't want to admit that yet. He hoped he was wrong. He had been getting scripts and rewrites all summer and then when it came to finally shoot the episodes, nothing was working, They had shot four episodes, one had aired to….well, Joey wasn't quite sure how those number ratings worked but he when he heard one of the producers use the phrase, 'pile of dog shit', he was pretty sure they were bad. He still had hope though. They could still pull out of this slump. If you're at the bottom, up was the only way you could go…..so they would have to move up.

"This is shit," Kristi said, flipping through her script, sitting in Joey's dressing room.

"It'll get better. It always gets better."

"Joey, we can't have live studio audiences anymore because they don't laugh. This is a horrible show. Vince and Bob had some laughs. This might be the worst thing you've ever done…..professionally."

"You know, I got you this job. I could have you fired."

"Okay, can you really do that?" Kristi asked, with a way too eager tone.

"Sure…..but if I do that then Wayne would be sad. I don't want Wayne to be sad," Joey said, giving her the most evil smile he could muster. Wayne was the man who controlled the robot and Waye seemed to adore Kristi, following her around like a puppy and staring at her with a look that was always dangerously close to creepy.

"You're the worst of all the people."

"Wayne is a national treasure. He's a lovely young man. I think you should give Wayne a chance."

"I think you should stick your genitals in a cheese grater," Kristi said.

"How do you know I haven't done that already," Joey said.

His cell phone rang as Kristi threw a pillow at him. Laughing, he flipped open his phone and held it up to his ear. His mood changed as he listened to Estelle, his agent, tell him that the people at Days of Our Lives wanted to meet with him again. There was a possibility of bringing him back. Maybe as Dr. Drake's evil twin? Maybe as something else? Hanging up, he looked over at Kristi who was staring at him, puzzled by his demeanor.

"Oh my G-d, " Joey said.

"What?" Kristi asked.

"Estelle said Chuck wants to meet with me about bringing me back on Days."

"I thought you died."

"It's a soap opera, they can work around it. Whoa…this must be what it felt like for the survivors of the Titanic," Joey mused.

"I'm going to forever regret making you watch that movie," Kristi laughed, "wait, so you do admit this show is like a sinking ship? So are you going to take me with you, Rose?"

"No, Jack…..there's only room on that board for one person," Joey said.

"No there wasn't. We've been over this, Joey. Both of them could have fit on there or taken turns. Jack did not have to die and Rose was a selfish bitch….hey, you are like Rose."

"Well, I guess I could take you with me…..but then who would comfort Wayne."

"I hate you."

Joey couldn't help but laugh as they both turned back to their scripts only to be interrupted by Wayne walking into Joey's room. He looked like a deer in the headlights staring at Kristi, stunned to see her in there.

"Can I help you, Wayne?" Joey asked.

"Hi….Kristi," Wayne said, smiling.

"Hi, Wayne. What do you need?" Kristi asked.

"Um….you know-uh….hi, Kristi."

"Do we need to be on the set?" Joey asked.

"I-um...yeah….I think. Hello, Kristi."

"Let's go," Kristi said.

Wayne kept staring at her as she and Joey got up and walked towards the door. Wayne kept giggling as the three walked out of the dressing room and towards the set. As Wayne went to go find Cheese, the robot, Joey put his arm around Kristi and led her towards an office set.

"Can I come to the wedding?" Joey asked.

"Fuck you….you know what would have been a better ending? Had Jack gotten on the board and drowned Rose in the freezing cold water," Kristi grumbled.

Joey didn't want to laugh at Kristi's misery but he just could not help himself. It was hilarious to him just how angry she was and having her with him on set seemed to make this show suck just a little less.

Sitting in Chuck's office later that say, he had a lot of questions. How was he coming back to Days? Why had he been fired? What had changed?

"I want to know who wrote the letter," Joey said.

Maybe he should not have started with that? But everything was so strangely bizarre and it was that letter that got him fired. The letter detailing every bad thing he had ever done.

"Joey-"

"I wanna know 'cause my past has not changed and whatever was in that letter was clearly bad enough that you wanted to fire me."

"You also said the thing about writing your own lines."

"Okay."

"Don't say that."

"Who wrote the letter?"

"It doesn't matter. Here's the part we want you to audition for-"

"Audition?"

"Yeah, audition."

"I thought I was playing Dr. Drake's evil twin?"

"Yeah."

"Well, why would I need to audition to play me?" Joey asked.

"You're not playing you."

"You know I'm the lead of my own television show."

"And you know that show is shit," Chuck said.

"Did you watch it?"

"I barely made it through an episode. Look, I'm throwing you a life line here."

"You want me to audition to play myself."

"You're not playing yourself," Chuck said.

"Who wrote the letter? Tell me why I got fired," Joey said.

"Get out of my office if you're not going to audition."

"I want information. I'm the star of my own television show."

"Good, then go star in it."

"I'm just saying, what changed?"

"Your ego."

He refused to audition. It was beneath him to do such a thing. MAC and Cheese was still on the air. He wasn't sure what the point of auditioning for Chuck was. It was a humiliating offer. He still had a show.

"So he wanted you to audition?" Kristi asked as he relayed the whole story to her in his dressing room the next day.

"Yeah. I mean, the nerve of him."

"Yeah, but you're an actor. Actors audition."

"To play me and he fired me and what, I have to audition to play me and then what if I don't get it? He's just doing it to be vindictive."

"First, impressive vocab."

"Thanks….Chandler got me word of the day toilet paper. So cool. I didn't know there were so many words."

"How did you graduate?" Kristi asked.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"Okay, also I kinda want to get back to the fact that Chandler bought you word of the day toilet paper-"

"That's not weird."

"It is, just a little and we'll get back that but….why….I don't think it was meant to be vindictive. You said he saw the show, right and like most people thought it was garbage? He's trying to help you."

"But that letter-"

"Let it go."

"Who wrote it?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. Do you know who wrote it? You didn't, did you?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, four years ago, I decided to sabotage your career in hopes that one day I could co-star on a shitty sitcom with you and a creepy guy with a robot."

"I knew it."

"Wasn't it an anonymous letter?"

"Yeah," Joey said.

"So the reason he can't tell you is because he doesn't know. Hence, anonymous," Kristi said.

"But the stuff is true."

"Maybe he decided to let things go."

Joey let out an annoyed sigh and wanted to say more when they were interrupted by Wayne again. He stood in the middle of the dressing room, still staring at Kristi.

"What do you need, Wayne?" Joey asked.

"Hi….Kristi," Wayne said.

"Okay, Wayne…..talk," Kristi said.

"Okay, okay um….our show? Did-did-you-well-hear our show-about-hear about our show?" Wayne asked.

"What? We got nominated for an Emmy?" Kristi asked.

"You're funny," Wayne said.

"Wayne, spit it out," Joey said.

"We-we-got cancelled. Today-is-well-yeah-we're done. They're-not making anymore….so hi Kristi," Wayne said.

Joey looked over at Kristi as his heart sunk. They were cancelled?

"Oh look….it's that scene in Titanic with the board….but where's Rose? Oh, she's dead because her ego sucked as a life raft," Kristi said.

His gaze went over to Wayne who was still staring at Kristi. The show was cancelled? He needed to talk to Chuck. He needed to make amends. He couldn't let a possible opportunity fall through again. He needed to beg and plead. He got up and without saying anything, ran out of the studio and took a cab to Chuck's office. He was thrilled to see Chuck there.

"So funny thing-"

"Why are you in my office?" Chuck asked.

"My show got cancelled."

"That's not a shock."

"Can I please have another shot?" Joey asked.

"No."

"No?"

"We hired someone."

"I met with you like yesterday."

"We found someone."

"Someone to play me?"

"We aren't making them identical twins."

"Okay, Chuck….I'm sorry. Alright...I just….I get what were trying to do. Can you please…" Joey said, practically begging him.

"I don't know. I mean, let me ask you…the letter? All that stuff is true, right? The arrests. The rape. The mob connections. It's true?"

"Yeah but I was never in the mob and the charges were all dropped. Look, why did you wanna bring me back? Was it really 'cause you watched MAC and Cheese 'cause I've been struggling for four years," Joey said.

Chuck looked annoyed as he stared at Joey but Joey would not leave.

"You're good at your job. We had a storyline in mind. You're still a liability."

"Look, what do you think is gonna happen? I mean, I'm thirty two. My last arrest was when I was twenty five, it was a long time ago. Yeah, I know people in the mob but just 'cause I know them doesn't mean I do what they do. Look, you said I am good at my job….then let me come back and do my job."

"Alright, I'll see what I can do," Chuck said. "Come back to the set tomorrow."

"Thank you," Joey said.

"And…." Chuck said, reaching down towards his bottom drawer, opening it and pulling out a letter. He handed it to Joey, "here's your damn letter. Keep your nose clean."

"I will….wait, does this mean I can no longer sleep with the extras?"

"Get the hell out of my office," Chuck said.

"Okay," Joey said, grabbing the letter off the desk and running out of Chuck's office. He stopped in the hallway to catch his breath. He was back on Days. He was good at his job? Maybe it really was as simple as that. He was hired back because he was good. He opened the letter and began reading. His blood boiled as he read and he knew immediately who had done it. He was barely referred to by name in the letter, just in a few spots but it was when the writer referred to him as Mr. Hollywood, that's when he began seeing red. He had 'gone Hollywood', he had 'forgotten his roots'. He wanted to punch someone. He ran out of the office, his heart racing. He could hear his cell phone ringing and grabbed it, flipping it open.

"What?" Joey asked.

"It's Monica. What's wrong?"

Monica's voice sounded like a bucket of cold water being dumped on his head. How did she do that and how could he make it stop?

"MAC and Cheese was cancelled."

"Yeah," Monica said.

"Got rehired on Days."

"Nice," Monica said.

"Christopher wrote the letter."

"What?"

"The one that got me fired from Days in the first place. I got the letter. Christopher wrote it. I'm gonna kill him and I hate that I answered the phone because I know what you'll say and I didn't ask."

"But you just got rehired."

"I'm hanging up on you," Joey said.

"Wait, okay but before you do, I just wanna make sure I'm clear. Four years ago, you got fired from Days because Christopher wrote a letter about your arrests and the mob ties and that sucked, but today….four years later, you get rehired on Days despite that letter and the fact that you acted like an idiot when they asked you to audition….clearly they think you're good at your job-"

"I'm hanging up."

"Cool….but you want to go beat the crap out of Christopher for getting you fired four years ago from a job you just got rehired for?"

"Screw you, Monica."

"Just making sure. By the way, I'm making homemade pizza. I found a really amazing dough recipe. Come by when you're done beating up Christopher."

And with that Monica hung up. He let out a groan, he hated Monica sometimes. He looked down at the letter and reread it. Christopher had destroyed him once, he couldn't let him do it a second time. He crumpled it up and threw it in the trash can before hailing a cab and taking it home.

Walking into Monica and Chandler's he was pleasantly surprised to see that Monica was indeed making pizza. Phoebe and Rachel were sitting on the couch, chatting about something.

"Oh, so did you beat up Christopher for something he did four years ago that doesn't really matter now?" Monica asked.

"I really hate you sometimes," Joey said.

"I know," Monica said.

"And-and how the hell did you know to call?" Joey asked.

"I have a gift," Monica said.

"You're obnoxious," Joey said.

"I know. Pizza will take a few hours," Monica said.

Joey glared at her as she laughed. He walked over to the couch and plopped himself down between Rachel and Phoebe.

"So you're back on Days? When can we have lunch?" Rachel asked.

"And what did Monica do that was obnoxious this time?" Phoebe asked.

"Have you guys ever heard of the saying, never insult the person in charge of making your food?" Monica asked as she rolled dough at the counter.

"I got the letter from Chuck. I read it and I know it was Christopher. The wording. I've gone Hollywood, forgot where I came from and….."

"You have gone Hollywood," Rachel said.

"I have not," Joey said.

"Why is that even an insult? You work in Hollywood, well, not really….you work in New York, but you get what I'm saying. So what? You've gone Hollywood, you've changed. Well, you're thirty two and...and okay, yeah, Monica can be obnoxious-"

"I wonder what happens if I spit in the dough?" Monica mused, "perhaps, hocked a loogie?"

"But you still came home. You didn't beat him up," Rachel said.

"You felt your job was more important. That's good," Phoebe said.

"Why would he wanna sabotage me?" Joey asked.

"Does it matter? Clearly he didn't and you need to tell me when I get to come back. I'm very stressed at work," Rachel said.

"Didn't you just hire yourself your very own boytoy?" Phoebe asked.

"That's why I'm stressed," Rachel said.

"I'll see. It would be cool to be back."

"So should I come tomorrow?" Rachel asked.

"You should probably do it soon before she just shows up," Phoebe said.

"Exactly," Rachel said.

Joey smiled as he rested back against the couch, listening as Rachel and Phoebe continued to talk about Rachel's new assistant Tag. Maybe they were right. He would forget about Christopher and that stupid letter. In the end, it didn't really matter. He was back where he belonged.

"Hey, children," Chandler said as he walked into the apartment.

"Hey, Chan, guess what? I'm back on Days," Joey said.

"Awesome," Chandler said. "Oh, hey Rach….I'm so sorry, you came by my office the other day to ask about assistants? Or something….I forgot to check in."

"Oh….no, it's okay. I hired someone," Rachel said, saying it rather slowly. It seemed a little weird.

"Well, that's great," Chandler said.

"Yeah….hey, Chandler, you know what else is great….you really have not had anything to drink and you haven't taken any drugs, right?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, completely clean and sober. Four months," Chandler said. "Feels kinda good."

"Fantastic," Rachel said. "Although, it's strange you didn't have any withdrawals this time?"

"I don't about that….hey, I'm gonna use the bathroom," Chandler grinned, walking into the restroom. Rachel let out an angry snort.

"Rach," Monica said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"I know," Monica said.

"Know what?" Joey asked before reading the look Rachel was giving him, "he's not clean and sober, is he?"

"Nope," Rachel said. "How did you know, Mon?"

"I'm not an idiot, Rach," Monica said. "He disappears, he's still working late and he thinks because I'm so busy planning our wedding, I won't notice. He's not that smart and I know everything."

"I hate that," Phoebe said.

"Monica knowing everything?" Joey asked.

"Well, yeah but…..how does he lie like that?" Phoebe asked, "that's what's so terrifying."

"So what are we gonna do?" Joey asked.

"I'm planning a wedding. You are gonna work on Days of our Lives and don't get fired so Rachel can stalk you. Rachel will try not to sleep with her boytoy assistant although, we all know how that will end up," Monica said.

"You don't know," Rachel said.

"Oh, we all know that will happen," Joey said.

"Keep living our lives and….I can't. Pushing doesn't work. Loving him doesn't work. So….I'm backing off," Monica said as Chandler came out of the bathroom. Joey kept watching him and he knew Rachel was right, so was Monica. He was definitely hiding something.

His job on Days would be simple. He was in a coma. Dr. Drake was currently in a coma. It could work. He was getting paid to lie down, it didn't matter. At least he was back where he was supposed to be, on his show. It felt right, it felt home. He ended his day back on the set at Sparks with Kristi, Christopher and Christopher's girlfriend, Adriana. He wouldn't beat Christopher up but he could definitely gloat. Gloating wouldn't get him fired.

"So your letter didn't work," Joey said.

"What letter?" Christopher asked.

"Don't be an asshole. The tip that you sent to my boss that got me fired the first time I was on Days. How do I know? It said Mr. Hollywood at least five times in there. You have a very distinct voice and Monica told me I wasn't allowed to beat you up….but just know that I know and if Tony wasn't still in prison, I'd knock your head off your body," Joey said.

"Why did you do that?" Adriana asked. "Why did you write a letter?"

"Yeah, he thought it was me," Kristi said.

"I didn't write the fucking letter," Christopher said.

"Dude, I figured it out and I'll let you slide-"

"'Cause Monica told you to," Kristi said.

"Exactly. So thank Monica for me not killing you but stay the fuck out of my career. Do I make myself clear," Joey said.

"Fuck off," Christopher said. "Great, so you're back on your little television show Mr. Hollywood."

"Damn proud," Joey said.

"Meanwhile," Kristi said, "I made a decision."

"Still stripper and a porn star?" Christopher asked.

"Yep but….now I'm gonna be one of those strippers-slash-porn stars who uses the money to pay her way through college," Kristi said.

"Really?" Joey asked.

"I wanna open a dance studio. I'm gonna get a degree in business and I wanna teach dance," Kristi said.

"I love that idea. You would be so good at it. You're a really good dancer," Adriana said.

"She's the highest paid stripper I know," Christopher said.

"Shut up, Christopher. Why don't you write some more letters," Kristi said.

"Oh no, 'cause if he does that, I'll break all his fingers," Joey said.

"I wrote a screenplay and watch it become a hit," Christopher said.

"Sure, can't wait," Joey said. He wanted to punch Christopher but he didn't. He still had his job and it didn't matter what Christopher did. He could not take away the fact that he was still on Days. They wanted him back, despite what Christopher had tried to sabotage. After eating, Kristi and Joey bid farewell to Christopher and Adriana and decided to walk towards Kristi's apartment.

"So you're gonna get a degree in business?" Joey asked.

"I think so. Can I talk to Ross? I mean, he teaches at NYU, he might know who I should talk to," Kristi said.

"Yeah, I'll ask," Joey said, "I'm sorry that MAC and Cheese got cancelled."

"It's fine."

"Do you miss Wayne? 'Cause I know that's the most difficult part."

"I am heartbroken," Kristi said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

"I'm sure we could track him down. He should be easy to find. He's probably under your window right now," Joey said.

"Very funny, hey, isn't that Chandler?" Kristi asked, pointing across the street. Joey looked to where she was pointing and indeed it was Chandler standing with a guy near Pub 2. He looked unsteady as he handed what looked like money to some guy. The guy in turn handed him a paper bag and the two quickly parted ways. Chandler stuffed the bag in his jacket and stumbled a little as he walked across the street, clearly not noticing Joey or Kristi as he soon disappeared into his office building.

"Did we just see him buying drugs?" Kristi asked.

Joey wasn't sure what emotion he was supposed to be feeling. He wanted to go pound that guy who Chandler just bought from. He wanted to pound Chandler as well. He didn't know if it was even worth telling anyone. He just did not know anymore.


	47. Chapter 47

**February 2001**

Maybe he should have told? He had decided to not to tell even though it was becoming more and more obvious that Chandler was back on drugs and drinking way too much but he was hiding it. He was pretty certain the drugs were in Chandler's office but it wasn't like he could just stroll in there and get them. As the group rang in 2001, Chandler began disappearing more and more and by that February which was Phoebe's thirty third birthday, he had vanished completely. They had planned a dinner for Phoebe. Rachel was going to be late because she was going to Tag's twenty fifth birthday first but no one knew where Chandler was. All calls to him went unanswered and soon Joey and Ross were driving around the city in Monica's Porsche which had been a gift from Jack Geller.

"Can you drive faster?" Joey asked, he hated having Ross drive but Ross said Joey couldn't drive because he was mad and upset and then he stole the keys before Joey could argue with him.

"I'm obeying the speed limits."

"You know what?" Joey said as he looked out the window, "I think I'm at my limit. I mean, he had to have been hiding the drugs and he's lying to us and...I've had enough."

"Rachel said that Chandler is drinking in his office."

"Great, fuck. I don't give a shit," Joey said although he did or maybe he didn't. He just didn't know anymore.

"Joe."

"No, no, this is bullshit. His life is not that bad. Okay, what makes his shit worse than everyone else's? Quit the whining and grow a pair. I've seen some bad shit. I watched people get their brains blown out in front of me and you don't see me crying about it. I've worked my ass off and yeah, maybe I'm not where I'd like to be career wise and maybe I'm not the smartest guy in the room but give me a fucking break. He has no idea how I saved his ass? Should've just let-"

"What?"

"Nothing," Joey said stopping himself. He wanted to say, 'let Christopher blow his brains out' but he couldn't. He could not admit to that at all.

"Joe."

"Can't tell you. Haven't you had enough? If he's been lying, this is your sister he's lying to…he's already screwed over one of my sisters. Now he's screwed over yours."

"I have had enough," Ross said, "but I can't….I can't just turn my back on him. A lot of people have."

"People have turned their back on me. Look, this is my brother but I can't….I'm done. I'm no longer his friend. I don't give a shit if he overdoses and dies. I buried Shane, I'll bury him," Joey said.

"You wanna try Pub 2?" Ross asked.

"No. 'Cause if he's there….you know I saw him last October. Buying drugs but I said nothing. I thought I should say nothing. I don't know, maybe I should have….it's just we've done everything else. Tough love, soft love….I don't know."

"Let's just drive."

Ross kept driving. Joey had done too much. He was truly done. He had saved Chandler's life. Maybe he could call Christopher and get the hit back on? Although, he wasn't sure he'd be able to. After driving around, they just gave up and went home. They walked into the apartment. Monica was on the phone while Phoebe and Rachel were on the couch. He was a little shocked to see Rachel there.

"Did you find him?" Rachel asked.

"No. No...we drove everywhere. We went to his office, he's not there...we checked hospitals-" Ross said.

"Maybe we should call the cops?" Joey asked.

"Mon did that already. Because he's a grown male and hasn't been missing for twenty four hours yet...there's nothing we can do," Rachel said.

"This is like college all over again. I can't believe he's pulling this crap," Ross muttered.

"Well, screw you too," Monica yelled into the phone as she hung up. "He's not at Beth Israel Hospital. Where he is?"

Joey walked towards the couch and sat next to Phoebe and put his head in his hands. Phoebe gently rubbed his back. Rachel moved to the other side of Joey, both women began to comfort him. Joey looked over at Rachel, confused.

"I thought you were with Tag?" Joey asked.

"We broke up."

"Hmmmm," Joey said as Rachel and Phoebe continued comforting him. Monica kept making calls as they sat. Joey really did not know what else he could say. He just felt sad, very sad. This was a turning point. His friendship with Chandler. He had nothing left.

"Hey, guys what's up? What's wrong? Who died?" Chandler asked.

Joey looked as they all did at Chandler walking through the door with his briefcase as if nothing was wrong. Joey stood up and walked towards him. He had done so much for Chandler, he had cared in ways he had never had cared before. He made a promise to Shane but this was too hard. It was too much. Too much lying, too much hiding, it was just too much. Chandler kept staring at him and Joey felt like he was walking in a trance, he felt like someone taking over his body as he lifted his fist and punched Chandler in the face before walking out of the apartment and into his room where he collapsed on his bed. Yes, he had shoved Chandler but punching him in the face was different. He had never wanted any of them to see him like that, to see him actually be violent in that way. He had made that promise to himself years ago that he would try to keep that side of himself hidden. Those five were nothing like the friends he used to have, they didn't solve problems that way but he couldn't do it anymore.

"Joe."

"Leave me alone, Pheebs," Joey said hearing her voice. He wanted to be alone but instead she lay down next to him and stroked his back.

"He's not well, Joe."

"I know. I thought he was dead. I thought he was laying in a ditch and he walks in all cheerful and ...we've spent the last eight hours looking for him. I don't know how much more of this I can take."

"I know."

"He's making it too hard for me to continue being his friend."

He turned over and looked at her, she grabbed his hand as she rested her head on his shoulder. He thought of Rachel's dream, the one where they had gone to Chandler's funeral. He thought of all he had done. Chandler really had no clue. Phoebe and Joey remained quiet, laying on the bed until Rachel walked in, looking at them. He was struck by the fact that Rachel was not crying. Rachel, who had probably cried over Chandler just as much as Monica, was not crying.

"How's his face?" Joey asked.

"It's alright. How are you?" Rachel asked.

"Angry," Joey said.

"Monica threw her engagement ring at him and yelled at him. She said that she's not marrying a drug addict and then she went into her room and closed the door. I came in here to check on you. Ross and Chandler are talking," Rachel said as she walked into the room and sat on the other side of him, "the drugs are in his office. When I got promoted, I went to his office and they're in his drawers and I should have said something. I don't know. I thought maybe there were drugs in his bedroom too. I don't….I don't know. Maybe I made a mistake."

"No, you didn't," Joey said.

"He really wants to kill himself," Rachel said.

"You broke up with Tag?" Joey asked, not sure if he should ask or if it was appropriate to check in.

"Yeah. It's not a big deal," Rachel said.

"Hmmm," Joey said. "Sorry."

"Are you going to end your friendship with him?" Rachel asked.

"Tag?" Joey asked.

He had hung out with Tag like once. He seemed like a nice guy but he really didn't see a reason to continue the friendship if he wasn't dating Rachel.

"Chandler," Rachel said.

That made more sense although maybe it didn't. Tag would be easy to give up. He had told Phoebe and Ross that he was ready to end his friendship with Chandler and he was thinking about it but would he actually be able to follow through on it? He wasn't so sure.

"I don't think I would be able to do that. It's like Shane. I couldn't end that friendship or maybe I did. I flew to Los Angeles."

"I thought you said he was clean when you moved to L.A.?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know."

"I understand," Rachel said.

"You know, I made a promise when Shane died and no one was at his funeral. I still don't even think his family knows he's dead. I know what he did to Chandler and I know you guys don't like him 'cause of it but he was a friend. He was a jackass but he was always honest. Especially about the drugs….fuck, he'd shoot up right in front of me and when he said that he was quitting. He did. There was no lying, no relapsing, just decided he had enough. I like that about him. Honest. You knew where you stood with him and he didn't hold on to crap. His family abandoned him when he moved to Queens. He got expelled because the rich kid's feelings were hurt so they pulled him out-"

"I think he got a little more than his feelings hurt," Rachel said.

"Didn't he say Shane bruised him so bad it hurt to pee for like a week?"

"Alright fine but still….when he moved to Queens, his family moved without giving a forwarding address. I put his obit in every paper I could think of to see if someone in his family would come. No one came. It was my family, Tony and Carmela, Kristi, Christopher….this kid was trying. Yeah, when he was in ninth grade he did a fucked up thing where he bullied an eighth grader, but my G-d….Chandler could learn a few things from Shane."

The three fell silent again. Joey didn't expect Rachel or Phoebe to say anything. He knew they would always hate Shane. Joey just couldn't. He refused. Shane needed his friendship in life and he was pretty sure he did a bad job. Now, he would not let his memory go even if the promise he made was getting harder and harder to keep.

The next morning, he woke up alone still wearing the clothes he had on last night. His muscles hurt and he just felt emotionally tired. He got up and heard voices outside. Walking out of the room, he noticed Ross and Rachel sitting side by side, talking.

"Hey, you slept here last night?" Joey asked he walked towards them and plopped down next to Rachel. He noticed Ross was also wearing what he had worn the previous day.

"Yep. How's your hand?" Ross asked.

"It's fine. Never thought I'd punch Chandler in the face. He's my brother and I-I just-how much more-"

"Guys, you need to hold on," Rachel said, quietly.

"Rach," Joey said.

He kept going back and forth on this. He really had no clue what he would actually do. There was a huge part of him that wanted to give up but another part that wouldn't let him.

"No, you two are his boys. Phoebe and I will take care of Monica, but he needs you two. The drugs are in office. Clean him out or something. I'm not ready to give up on him and….and I know you guys aren't either. Ross, you've known him for thirteen years. You went to college with him and….and you even admitted to me there were fun times and Joe, I know you look at Chandler like he's a brother. I know you both love him. Think of….could you imagine really not having him in our lives? No Chandler jokes? I'd miss those. He does have a heart. Joey, he paid your rent for six years. No one would do that. You would have been kicked out of any other apartment. You know that."

"Yeah, it's true," Joey said, remembering when he had first moved in. He had fully expected to be kicked and despite that one confrontation at the beginning when Chandler asked why he couldn't pay, he had basically been living rent free. He felt ridiculously lucky.

"And Ross, you've said that you had friends in college because of him. I know we're all tired, but I'm not ready to give up yet. Let's go next door and talk to them. Ross, they've dealt with our drama. It's time to deal with theirs," Rachel said, standing up and turning towards the two boys. She held out her hands and pulled them both up. The three walked across the hall and opened the door as Phoebe was making coffee.

"Good morning," Phoebe said.

"They still in there?" Rachel asked, motioning towards Monica and Chandler's room.

"Yeah and they got back together," Phoebe said.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"How are you doing, Pheebs?" Ross asked as they sat around the table. Phoebe began to pour them coffee and soon they were all gathered around the table.

"Not good. Tired. Very tired."

"Phoebe, you can't give up either. Come on, none of us can," Rachel said.

"Why not? Why can't we? I don't want to watch him die and he seems really intent on having us watch him... and I refuse. I adore him too much to watch this. I mean, you had Brian and Joey, you had your friend Shane-"

"I didn't know Brian was on anything," Rachel said. "But if I had, I wouldn't have….I don't….Chandler's different than Brian, but I don't want to give up yet. Come on. Pheebs, you've said it yourself that no one makes you laugh harder than him and well…I mean, can you imagine a world where he doesn't make you laugh like that?"

"He needs to get better fast. If he doesn't clean up this time….I just-"

"I know, Pheebs."

Rachel, Joey, Phoebe and Ross sat quietly around the table and drinking coffee. They kept staring at Monica and Chandler's closed door. Joey kept thinking about Rachel's words, how hard she was pressing. They needed to speak with him. There needed to be some sort of conversation. He slowly got up and walked towards Monica and Chandler's closed door and was about to knock when he suddenly heard a moan and Chandler saying, 'oh my G-d'. He knew then that knocking would be the worst possible thing he could do. He turned around and walked back to the table, grinning.

"They're having sex," Joey said.

Rachel and Phoebe looked at him as he took a sip of his coffee. Both girls immediately got up and walked towards the door before turning back and sitting down at the table.

"Make up sex," Phoebe grinned.

"Can we not?" Ross asked.

"What happened last night?" Rachel asked.

"Maybe we should go to your apartment," Ross said, cringing.

"Chandler melted down. I've never seen him cry like that. Mon hadn't either, apparently," Phoebe said.

"Can we please leave?" Ross asked.

"We're not opening the door. Let them make up and don't be such a wutz," Rachel said.

"I'm not….it's just gross," Ross said.

Rachel laughed and shook her head, "Chandler melted down?"

"Yeah...and he was really concerned that Joey no longer wanted to be his friend," Phoebe said, "you'll still be his friend, right Joe?"

"Always," Joey said. Despite any thoughts to the contrary, he knew he would never be able to actually end his friendship with Chandler. Chandler meant way too much to him.

When Monica and Chandler finally emerged from their bedroom, they seemed almost calm. Chandler seemed worn out.

"Hello, guys," Monica said.

"We were gonna get you two but we thought you were busy," Phoebe said.

"What were you two doing?" Joey asked.

"Please don't ask that while I'm here," Ross said.

"Hey, can I talk to you guys," Chandler said as he walked to the table and sat down, pulling Monica with him. "I'm...I'm going to an outpatient rehab thing. I have some issues that I-I don't how to fix and I-I need help 'cause I don't know how to do this on my own and...well okay...I didn't stop drinking or doing drugs after Monica and I got engaged. I fell off the wagon over a year ago and I lied to all of you and...I'm really...I'm sorry. I know I've fucked up. I'm gonna go talk to someone and figure out how to be happy."

Joey kept staring at Chandler. Something seemed different this time. Something seemed genuine. Chandler glanced at Joey and grinned slightly. Joey knew exactly what was coming next.

"So...anyone wanna grab a drink and celebrate?" Chandler asked.

Of course Chandler would make a joke, not that he'd expect anything different.

"Really?" Monica asked, smacking him upside the head.

"Too much serious in twenty four hours. I'd rather make you guys laugh," Chandler said.

"You've never done that before, why start now?" Joey asked.

"Funny...hey, can you guys come with me today?" Chandler asked.

"Where?" Ross asked.

"I wanna introduce you to Sophie. I'm not sure how much time she has left and the one thing she wanted was for me to...for me to have people that would want me. That would be my friends...my family and I wanna show her you guys," Chandler said.

Sophie was apparently Chandler's old nanny and sometime caterer for Rachel's family. He had heard stories over the years about how Sophie was like a mom to Chandler and now she was dying.

"I liked Sophie. I'll go," Rachel said and the others agreed as Monica walked towards the counter to get some breakfast for herself and Chandler.

"Thanks...'cause she's kinda of the reason I fell off the wagon. Not her personally but I let her down and she was like my mom growing up and I...I wanna show her all of you. She'll be happy," Chandler said.

"Wait, before we go...Bing...do we need to go to your office?" Ross asked.

"Oh, yeah...that's where you've been hiding the drugs, right?" Joey asked.

"Alright, we can stop at my office and Joey can punch me in the face again," Chandler said.

"No worries man, it was a one time thing," Joey said, truthfully.

"Are we cool?" Chandler asked.

"Always," Joey said, noticing the look of worry that flashed in his eye. Chandler really was afraid that Joey was gonna end their friendship?

"I don't wanna go to Chandler's office," Monica said as she brought two mugs of coffee to the table, handing one to him. "I don't wanna see what's there...I...it's...it'll just make me upset."

"It's alright, Mon. We got it," Joey said.

"Yeah, we'll clean him out," Ross said.

It was awkward the breakfast. It was strange and there was still tension lingering in the air. They had been through so much in the last twenty four hours that they were all just exhausted.

Walking into Chandler's darkened office, Chandler turned on the light and tossed Joey the keys to a cabinet. He sat in his chair as Joey and Ross opened the cabinet to see bottles of liquor and pills stacked in there.

"Wow..." Joey said.

"Yeah," Chandler said.

"You really did fall off the wagon," Ross said.

"I did...hey, before you guys throw everything out. Thank you...and I'm...just thanks," Chandler said.

"Let's dump this stuff," Joey said giving him a smile as he began throwing stuff out. It almost turned into a game. They threw his stuff away and made sure there was nothing left in his office. When they were finished, they looked at Chandler who had said nothing throughout the purge.

"Thanks, guys," Chandler said.

"Are you really gonna do rehab and go to meetings?" Ross asked.

"Yes. I am. I have to. I can't do this to you guys. I can't do this to Monica. You guys deserve better and I'm gonna be better and I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for lying to you guys and I'm sorry for...not showing how much I appreciate both of you. I'm done."

"Good," Ross said.

"Let's go," Chandler said as they walked out of the office, but before they left, Joey stopped him. There was one last thing they needed to do before meeting up with the girls.

"I want to know who the dealer is?" Joey asked.

"Joe," Chandler said.

"No, I'm not playing games anymore. I will pound you to the ground," Joey said.

"I kinda want to know myself," Ross said.

"Don't fucking lie to me. No more. I saw you buying drugs last October right outside Pub 2 so tell me who it is."

"Okay, come on," Chandler said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"We're going to Pub 2," Chandler said.

"We're drinking?" Joey asked.

"No, dumbshit….okay, Kyle….a bartender at Pub 2. He calls his brother and his brother supplies the drugs, I pay Kyle in cash," Chandler said.

"What's his brother's name?" Joey asked.

"I don't know," Chandler said.

"What's his name?" Joey asked, getting angry.

"I don't know," Chandler said again.

Joey grabbed Chandler's collar and threw him up against the wall near the elevators. He was in no mood for anymore of Chandler's shit. He had barely slept and he was just angry, but just as Joey had his grip on Chandler, Chandler fought back. He grabbed Joey's arms and shoved him back, hard. Joey fell back across the room and looked at his friend, a little stunned.

"I said I don't know, why the fuck would I lie to you about that and don't fucking lay your hands on me at my office, I'm the boss here….not you," Chandler yelled.

Joey smiled as he nodded. He looked at Ross who also looked strangely impressed. Chandler looked kinda pleased with himself as well.

"He's got a point," Ross muttered.

"He does….and nice work, Bing." Joey said.

"Thanks. I never asked for Kyle's brother's name," Chandler said.

"Then let's go find out," Joey said as he pressed the elevator button and got in. Once they got out of the building, they walked across the street towards the bar and walked in. Joey walked up to the bar.

"Hey, you Kyle?" Joey asked.

"Who's asking?" The bartender asked, turning towards them, "Chandler, what's going on man?"

"Don't talk to him," Joey said.

"No, he can talk to me. What's-what's your brother's name? I think I might want to call him directly. Take out the middle man…...you," Chandler said.

"You high? You know who my brother is," Kyle said.

"I do?" Chandler asked.

"He lived with you like four, five years ago. Those drugs are frying your brain, man," Kyle said.

"What the hell are you talking about? Joe-ohhhhh…" Chandler said, looking at Joey. The name hit Joey as well. Eddie. Eddie who Joey had also paid off to keep him away from Chandler. Joey stormed out of the bar and stopped turning to look at Ross and Chandler who were running behind him.

"If you're lying to me-" Joey said.

"I'm not. I didn't know….Eddie barely spoke to me. The one time we actually spoke, he just told me about his girlfriend and that story scared me so badly I didn't want to speak to him."

"Joey, do you know where Eddie is?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, he's friends with Christopher," Joey said.

"I want you to leave him alone," Chandler said.

"What?" Joey asked. He wasn't going leave Eddie alone. He was going to beat Eddie to a pulp.

"I want to get better. I don't want you doing anything. Please. All transactions went through Kyle. I would tell Kyle what I wanted, Kyle would call his brother. Then Kyle would call me when the pills came in and then I would pay Kyle in cash. I swear….I don't even know if Eddie knew he was selling them to me. Please….you found out Christopher wrote that letter, right? You didn't do anything," Chandler said.

"How do you know about that?" Joey asked. He hadn't told Chandler.

"Monica told me. Please…."

"You swear to G-d, you promise me you did not know it was Eddie?" Joey asked.

"I swear and look right now, I just want to go to the hospital and I wanna be with Monica and-and you guys and I just want enjoy you guys. Please," Chandler said.

Joey looked at Ross and then back at Chandler. There had been so much emotion in the last twenty four hours. Maybe he could let this slide. He wouldn't go after Eddie. At least not now but just like Christopher's letter, he would keep those discretions in the back of his mind.

As soon as they got home from the hospital, Chandler ran to the bathroom. The withdrawals were starting. They all took turns while getting stuff ready for a low key evening for just them. Ross set up movies, Monica tried to make some food, everyone kept an eye on Chandler. When everything was ready, Joey walked into the bathroom to see him curled up against the toilet.

"Hey, buddy...you feeling like shit?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, just a little," Chandler groaned looking up at Joey.

"Come out of the bathroom, we're waiting for you."

"Okay...hey, Joey...I'm sorry...I-"

"Dude, forget it. I was upset. Just get better this time and I get it," Joey wasn't going to push.

"Why do you keep coming back? Why do you keep putting up with me?" Chandler asked.

"You're family. I don't give up on family."

"Thanks, Joe," Chandler said. He took a deep breath as Joey helped him stand up and walk out of the bathroom towards the couch.

"So...what do you wanna watch first?" Ross asked.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Pick a movie," Ross said.

"I wanna watch _The Hot Dog Movie_ ," Phoebe said.

"No, no... _Spaceballs._ _The Hot Dog Movie_ must die," Rachel said.

Joey helped Chandler to the couch and made sure he was comfortable.

"So Chandler...why do you want?" Ross asked.

"I don't care...anything you guys want. I'm just glad you're here," Chandler said.

"Hot Dog movie," Phoebe grinned.

The group got ready to watch movies as Chandler curled up on the couch. There wasn't a lot of movie watching going on. Chandler spent most of it in the bathroom and soon everyone else crashed. Joey woke up in a darkened apartment to the sound of vomiting coming from the bathroom. He turned and noticed Monica sitting with Chandler, gently stroking his back. He got up and shuffled towards the bathroom.

"Hey, Mon….you wanna switch. Go to sleep," Joey said, sitting next to her.

"No. I can't sleep."

"I'm sorry," Chandler looking at both of them. "Both of you. I'm-I-don't want lose either of you, You're more important to me than-than-"

"Your addiction?" Joey asked.

"Yeah. I can't….I just hope you both know just how much you mean to me," Chandler said "and I'm so sorry that I put you both through this."

"Just get better," Joey said.

"That will make us happy."

"You know why I've never done heroin? Or cocaine? Or any of those hard drugs? I'm afraid of them. I'm afraid that I would like them and-and-I wouldn't be able to come back from it so I refuse to do it," Chandler said.

"I hope you continue being scared of it," Joey said.

Chandler smiled as he turned back to the toilet and began throwing up. Monica leaned forward and gently rubbed his back.

"Mon," Joey said.

"What?"

"Let me….you go to bed. You need to sleep."

Monica looked at him and slowly nodded as she stood up. She looked so frail as she looked at him.

"Okay, yeah, you're right," Monica said.

"You know what else I was right about? He loves us more than his addiction," Joey said.

"Yeah, he does," Monica said, leaning forward and squeezing Chandler's shoulder as he lifted his head up and stared at Monica, "honey, I'm going to sleep. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, no, you should. I got Joey."

"Okay," Monica said as she walked out of the bathroom and towards her bedroom. Joey looked over at Chandler and noticed he began shaking a little. He moved towards him and held him a little until he leaned towards the toilet and continued throwing up.

"You okay?" Joey asked.

"I don't know. I think I've thrown up my internal organs. I realize now, I probably just destroyed any bachelor party ideas you may have had."

"What are you talking about? We just gotta be creative."

"Kristi can't give me a lap dance. It's too uncomfortable. I can't objective a woman if I know things about her," Chandler said.

"We'll figure something out. Just get better. Please and….I'm sorry I punched you in the face. I don't...I never want you seeing me like that."

"Violent? You've come after me before. You did today."

"I like you, Chandler. It kills me that you don't see how cool you are and maybe that's….I don't-you're more than my best friend, you're my brother and I don't want-"

"I get it."

"You did a good job shoving back though."

"Thank you. So when's Tony getting out of prison?"

"Next month."

"You miss him."

"Yeah….I mean, he'll go right back to what he's doing but...yeah I do. I also miss you."

Chandler smiled at him as he continued throwing up and Joey remained seated by Chandler. He would take care of him, he would make everything okay again.


	48. Chapter 48

**Before I begin...  
I want to make clear that Chandler's soulmate in these stories has always been Monica. He has even said that he has loved Monica even when he was still dating Lizzie. For those of you that are saying that I'm making Chandler's true soulmate Lizzie and not Monica and that Chandler loves Lizzie more, then I could also say the same about Monica and Richard. Everyone has that relationship where you still care very deeply about the other person even if you're no longer together. That's the thing about love. Richard will always hold a special place with Monica and will always mean something to her even if she's not with him and Lizzie will always hold a special place with Chandler. I wanted to give Chandler his "Richard" so to speak. The difference is that Chandler also feels incredibly guilty about how he treated Lizzie. He wasn't capable of really being in a relationship at that time and he took advantage of her. I think that's a big issue with him and I think especially as he gets older, he feels bad. He's a good guy so knowing he hurt someone he did care about would make him feel crappy. At the end of the day though, Monica is the person he's meant to be with. Monica doesn't let him get away with the stuff Lizzie let him get away with and he needs that. So to those who still hate Lizzie or still think Chandler would rather choose Lizzie or Monica, I'm not sure how else to prove that's not the case. I've tried in every story except really Phoebe's because Lizzie isn't really in Phoebe's until the end...but I've tried. I've done it literally, figuratively, I think I've even had characters say it. Monica is the person he is meant to be with, he just cares and feels guilty about what happened with Lizzie.**

 **Also, please review! My A/C exploded and I'm sad! It actually exploded, I'm not making this up. The A/C guys showed me the pictures they took of the A/C unit thing on my roof...so please review 'cause it's hot and I have no A/C!**

February 2001-April 2001

Having Chandler back was all he ever wanted. The withdrawals were awful as they always were and each member of the group kept a careful eye on him as they had in the past but something felt different this time. More genuine and with his brother on the mend, he also got some new professional developments which he could not wait to share with Chandler. Sure he knew telling him would open himself to some pretty intense mocking but Joey would be more than happy to suck it up just to let Chandler have some fun.

"I'm getting a new brain," Joey declared as he walked into Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler was laying on the couch, flipping through the channels.

"Well, my dreams have come true," Chandler said without missing a beat as he turned off the television.

"Oh, it gets better my friend," Joey said walking towards the couch. "So, Jessica Lockhart….yeah, they're killing off her character and doing a brain transplant and I'm going to be getting her brain."

"You're getting the brain of a woman?" Chandler asked, beaming.

"Yep. Happy very early birthday," Joey said.

"I-it's just too much….where do I start? Congrats….it's good news for you professionally and personally. So like if you get a female brain, does that mean you'll be a lesbian?" Chandler asked.

"Keep going," Joey said.

"Hey, honey….I got the stuff to make mac and cheese," Monica said as she walked into the apartment before noticing, "hey, Joey. Chandler's feeling better so I thought I'd make him his favorite. You want some?"

"Mon, it's not Joey anymore. They're giving him the brain of a woman on Days, so would you like us to now refer to you as Joanne or Josephina?" Chandler asked.

"Wait, what?" Monica asked as she walked to the couch and gently squeezed Chandler's shoulder as he grabbed her hand.

"On Days, they're killing off Jessica Lockhart's character-"

"Awww, Rachel's gonna be so sad," Monica said, cutting Joey off.

Yes but she might be okay with it when she learns that Jessica Lockhart's brain will be transplanted into Dr. Drake's body and therefore-" Joey said.

"He's gonna have the brain of a woman," Chandler said, beaming.

"Awww, wait so does that mean that you'll be able to understand women and know that they expect you to call back after you sleep with them," Monica said

"Ohhhh, I love you, marry me," Chandler said as he and Monica high fived each other.

"Oh, Mon….I may have the brain of a woman but my penis is all man," Joey said.

"Wow, I have so much more work to do with you," Monica mused as she walked back into the kitchen to start making macaroni and cheese.

"Have you told Christopher or Tony or Kristi that you now have the mind of a woman?" Chandler asked.

"Nope. I figured you would be the first. You've had a rough couple of months so…." Joey said, motioning towards him.

"So you're giving me the first shots?" Chandler asked.

"Yep," Joey said.

"You're like the greatest friend ever," Chandler said.

"You know it baby," Joey said. "So how are you feeling buddy?"

"Good, good….I got some work done and I'm going back Monday and then going to AA meeting."

"Nice. Does your job know why you've been out?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, but it's all good...apparently, I'm good at my job. I can't get fired to save my life….it sucks," Chandler said.

"You could actually quit and concentrate on finding something you like," Monica said.

"Why?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, what a crazy thought," Monica said, as she dumped the noodles into a pot.

"Maybe he likes being an accountant," Joey said.

"I'm-I'm not an accountant," Chandler said.

"Whatever you say, dude," Joey said.

"I-I-you know, they say we women are smarter than men….so maybe with this brain, you'll know Chandler's job," Monica said.

"Gee, Chandler….I didn't know you were marrying the female version of yourself," Joey shot back.

"I've created a really hot monster, it's the best," Chandler said.

"Monica, what's his job?" Joey asked.

Joey kept staring at Monica as she kept stirring the noodles, not answering. A smile appeared on Joey's face as he realized the Monica had no clue either as to what his job was. He looked over at Chandler and watched as his mouth dropped.

"Monica, what do I do for a living?" Chandler asked.

"Um...uh...hey, you know we're getting married in like two months and we don't even have a minister," Monica sputtered out, leaving both Chandler and Joey very confused about Monica's transition.

"Smooth, babe," Chandler said.

"Yeah, that-that-like peanut butter," Joey said.

"Perfect topic jump," Chandler said.

"Bite me. Well, it's still true," Monica said.

"Actually, I had an idea and I wanted to run it by you….and Joey's here so I'll run it by him too...I've had a lot of free time so I've looked up wedding stuff, you know there's a thing where a friend can get ordained online and marry us," Chandler said.

"Really?" Monica asked.

"Yeah. Yeah...it's a real thing and I was thinking, Joey should do it," Chandler said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, I mean, look….Mon, I get what you girls are doing and-but-Ross has already been married three times and I've been his Best Man twice and he's gonna be my brother in law, no one knows when or if Joey will get married-"

"True story," Joey said.

"And-and-I feel like my situation is little different than yours. I feel kinda obligated to have Ross as my Best Man but I don't want Joey to feel slighted and...you know.. Joey….Chanoey marrying Mondler," Chandler said.

"Not sure that's how it goes...but it's a thing?" Monica asked.

"Yeah and then Ross can be my Best Man and-and he can walk Rachel and Phoebe down the aisle and then Joey could marry us. Look, you've done pretty much everything for this wedding, right?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah."

"Can I have this? You both mean so much to me and to have Joey marry us?" Chandler asked.

"Well...Joe...do you want to?" Monica asked.

He looked at both of them, trying to comprehend what they were asking. They wanted him to perform the wedding? It would be an honor.

"Yeah, you serious?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Chandler said.

"Can I see the site?" Monica asked.

Chandler reached for his laptop as Monica walked towards him, he showed her the site. Joey moved in as well and there it was, it was actually legit. He could be ordained.

"See, it's a real thing….and here," Chandler said after clicking a few more buttons, "fill this out and it could be done. So?"

"Seems like it would be cool. Joey, I'd love that," Monica said.

"That's gonna be awesome," Joey said, "dude, thanks."

"No problem, come on….I'll help you sign up," Chandler said, motioning for Joey to move towards him. "So should we put your name as Josephine or Joseph?"

"Nice."

Chandler helped him sign up and soon he was ordained to perform Monica and Chandler's ceremony. He would make a speech and he could not wait, in a small way he kinda felt he like he was part of their relationship, even more so than the others. It just seemed so perfect. Of course even more perfect when Joey found out that Monica had wanted to hook up with him first that night in London, but that was glossed over in favor of concentrating on what mattered. Monica and Chandler were getting married and Joey would be officiating the ceremony. Everything just seemed to be coming together perfectly.

A week later on that Monday night, Chandler really did go to an AA meeting and the rest of them all waited in Central Perk for him per his request. It was kinda impressive that he had done that. He wasn't sure if Shane had gone to rehab or gone to meetings, he was never sure but Chandler doing it filled him with pride.

"He really did go to the meeting?" Rachel asked as they all sat in their usual area at Central Perk.

"Yep, and he called me twenty five times today to check in," Monica said.

"That's sweet," Rachel said.

"Hmmm, well then I will tell him to call you twenty five times tomorrow," Monica said.

"Oh, G-d no...that's annoying," Rachel said.

"Hey, guys….before he comes here I was thinking...we need to make this easier for him. I don't think we should drink in front of him anymore," Monica said.

"Seriously?" Joey asked, that seemed absurd.

"Yes. Guys, he's really trying this time and we should not be drinking in front of him," Monica said.

"Yeah but Mon, that's not normal...I think Chandler would want us to be normal and not change our habits," Phoebe said.

That seemed like a dumb idea. He didn't want to stop drinking because Chandler had to stop. It didn't seem fair.

"It's not like we're gonna be getting drunk in front of him but I don't know..." Ross said.

"I don't think he'll go for that," Joey said.

"I don't want us drinking in front of him. I don't want this to be more difficult," Monica said.

"Yeah, but he didn't even want us changing our work schedules when he went through withdrawal. He's not gonna be okay with this. We have to act normal, not walk on eggshells," Ross said.

"Can you please just do what I say?" Monica asked.

"No," Ross said.

"I'm just saying."

"He's got a point, Chan Man will do his crap, we'll do ours. By the way, have you watched Days lately? How do you like my new brain?" Joey asked, they had moved quickly as they always did in the soap world. It had only been a week since he got the news and Dr. Drake already had that new brain and was performing complicated surgeries.

"I like it better than the one you currently have," Ross teased.

"Wait, oh, Joey….but questions, so Dr. Drake wakes up Cassandra after the botched face transplant so now she's a man so are Cassandra and Dr. Drake going to date now? Or...and what happens to Phillip 'cause remember Phillip is locked in the basement 'cause he kissed Cassandra's mother….ohhhh," Rachel moaned.

"You are way too excited about this," Ross said.

"I know, right?" Rachel grinned.

"Phillip didn't kiss Cassandra's mother. That was Cassandra grandmother who got pregnant with Phillip's child," Monica said.

"Naw-aww," Rachel said.

"Yah-huh," Monica said.

"Joey," Rachel said.

"She's right." Joey said.

"Damn," Rachel said.

"Wait, but what about Peter because Peter is Phillip's evil twin but he's the one who killed Cassandra's pet turtle by throwing it off the ledge which by the way…." Phoebe said.

"The turtle didn't actually get hurt," Joey said.

"I have no idea what is happening right now," Ross said.

"Hey, I listen to your dino crap," Joey said.

"Really?" Ross asked, "So, I'm doing research on the Majungatholus Atopus and-"

Suddenly, Rachel, Monica and Joey let out loud groans. Joey would be interested if there weren't such big words involved.

"Wait, wait...isn't that the dinosaur that's the cannibal?" Phoebe asked.

Ross looked over at Phoebe who simply smiled and Joey was stunned. He knew what a cannibal was. There were dinosaurs that ate each other? He never learned that in school.

"How do you...how...what?" Ross asked.

"Hey, I might have dropped out of school before ninth grade but I spent a lot of time in the New York Public Library," Phoebe said.

"What do you know?" Ross asked.

"More than you think," Phoebe said.

"Wait, wait...there was a cannibal dinosaur," Joey said. "Like dinosaurs that ate other dinosaurs? I wanna know about that."

"No, no….you wouldn't be interested," Ross grinned, "but go ahead….how's your brain?"

Joey gave him a look as the rest of the group began laughing just as Chandler strolled into Central Perk.

"Hello, children," he said as he walked towards them and kissed Monica before plopping down next to her, "heard any good jokes lately?"

"How was it?" Monica asked as they all looked at him.

"Weird. I'm going back tomorrow night and I have a therapist that I'm going to see-but-I just-sitting there-it was-I've been a very selfish guy and I'm gonna try not to be that anymore. I'm sorry about...everything. I'm lucky and there-there were people there that weren't. That lost everything...people that lost homes and jobs and friends and family. I felt guilty. I mean, I have issues but I have my job, I may not like it but I'm good at it and I still have all of you and Joey's still my friend," Chandler said.

That made Joey happy. He felt so warm and fuzzy inside.

"Always, man," Joey said.

"You know, I could be insulted by that...I'm still with you," Monica argued.

"Yeah, but Mon you knew this going into the relationship with Chandler," Rachel said.

"I know, I know...Jandler first, Mondler second," Monica grinned.

"I'm happy you didn't leave as well," Chandler said, "anyway, I mean, it's what I've always wanted. Friends and I don't know why I can't enjoy it and I'm gonna find that out 'cause...I like you guys."

"We like you too," Rachel said.

"I felt crappy sitting there...like one of those poor, spoiled little rich kids," Chandler said.

"You are one of those poor, spoiled little rich kids," Phoebe grinned.

"Thanks, Pheebs," Chandler said.

"Well, you are...but it doesn't make what you've been through any less painful," Phoebe said.

"Yeah...it was eye opening. It was like Pheebs when you took Mon and I to see where you lived? When you took us to the junkyard...it puts things in perspective," Chandler let out a sigh as he got up, "I'm gonna get coffee. The coffee they serve at AA meetings sucks."

Chandler walked towards the counter to get his coffee as Monica joined him. Rachel, Phoebe and Joey turned towards Ross. Okay, Chandler seemed fine. They had done their jobs as friends and now there were more important matters.

"Now, tell me about the dinosaurs that eat other dinosaurs?" Joey said. Ross just laughed which spurred Joey on, desperately wanting to know more but Ross wouldn't give in. Chandler and Monica soon rejoined them and the conversation soon moved on. Everything just felt ridiculously easy now, so drama free and just how Joey wanted it.

He was headed to the set the next day and wasn't expecting to see Meadow Soprano waiting for him outside his building. She looked worried standing there.

"Why are you here?" Joey asked.

"I go to Columbia."

"I know," Joey said. Meadow was now a freshman at Columbia about twenty minutes away. She had started in September, it was now March.

"My dad's getting out of prison today."

"I know, Meadow I gotta be on the set in like twenty minutes," Joey said.

"I just…." Meadow said, staring at the ground and back up at him.

"Walk with me, I'll catch a cab along the way."

"Okay...I don't know if-I know what he does for a living. I hope-I mean-I don't know if I wanna see him."

"Meadow, you have to see your dad."

"Are you going?"

"After work. I'll take the train to Jersey," Joey said. He could not wait to see Tony. He was thrilled to see him, it had been so long.

"I don't know if I want to. People know who my dad is. They think of me as this social pariah."

"Please, my friends know I know your dad and they think it's cool," Joey said.

"They're old….and it's also not your dad."

"Look, Meadow...I can't tell you what to do but it….if…..he's been in prison for almost a year. He's gonna wanna see you. Regardless of what he's done. He's still your dad," Joey said, hailing a cab.

"What if he….what...how did you feel when you found out?" Meadow asked.

"It's shocking. It is….but….I don't know. I'm taking a train right after work. Hopefully, I'll see you there," Joey said as he got into a cab. He planned to see to see Tony after. Tony had been in prison for eleven months and apparently they had not found enough evidence to keep him there. Joey wasn't sure, he hadn't really gotten all the information. He just could not wait to see him.

As soon as he was able, he got on the train and headed out to Jersey to see him. When the cab pulled up to the house in Jersey, he could almost smell the barbeque coming from the backyard. Of course Tony would be barbequing his first night back. Once he was let in, he made his way to the backyard and saw Tony manning the grill.

"You're working the grill your first night out of the clink?" Joey asked.

"Hey, kid," Tony said, hugging him, "I'm out."

"So good to see you. How was it in there?"

"Like a mother fucking party."

"I bet. So guess what? I'm on Days. I'm back."

"Carmela told me, she said you have the brain of a woman," Tony said.

"Yep."

"I always thought you did," Tony said.

"So….is Meadow here?" Joey asked.

"Uh no...she said she couldn't come. I don't think she's proud of her old man."

"I'm sorry. Well, now you can turn it around. Right? Go straight?" Joey asked.

"What the hell are you talking about? I got eleven months of shit that needs to be sorted out."

"Wait, you're not going back into that are you?" Joey asked.

"It's my job."

"But you spent eleven months in prison?" Joey asked.

"So?"

"You're not out of the clear though. I mean-"

"Hey, asshole. I don't tell you how to do your job. Let me grill," Tony said.

Joey nodded as he walked away. He noticed Christopher and Eddie sitting together by the pool and his heart raced. What the hell was Eddie doing there? He walked towards them immediately sat down.

"So, saw your brother last month," Joey said, "bartender at Pub 2. Didn't know you sold drugs through your brother?"

"Yeah, your sugar daddy was one of my biggest clients," Eddie said.

That made Joey's heart drop a little. Eddie did know he was selling to Chandler. His next question though, he wasn't sure he wanted to ask but he felt maybe he needed to.

"Did he know?" Joey asked.

"Know what?" Eddie asked.

"That he was buying from you."

"Oh hell no. That dipshit would have bought from somewhere else if he had known he was buying from me and I need cash bro," Eddie said.

"Oh, I'm not your bro. He didn't know?" Joey asked.

"No."

For as angry as he was at Eddie, for as much as he wanted to punch him, throw him in the pool. Chandler had been telling the truth. That seemed to be the most important thing of all. He didn't care that Tony was sad Meadow wasn't there. He didn't care about any of it. Just the simple fact that Chandler really had told the truth.

Getting home that night, he noticed Chandler walking towards the apartment with hands in his pocket. As Joey got out of his cab, Chandler stopped and waited. As Joey approached him, he just hugged him. He had to hug him.

"What was that for?" Chandler asked.

"Tony got out of prison and I went to visit but….but Eddie was there."

"Oh."

"Yeah and I asked….I asked….I guess he's friends with Christopher and-"

"You asked him if he knew he was selling to me? You still thought I was lying?" Chandler asked.

"Chandler…." Joey said, he could tell Chandler was a little hurt.

"No...they said that….that...the trust needs to be rebuilt. In the meeting tonight, it was about trust."

"But you were telling the truth. He knew he was selling to you but he knew if you found out you were buying from him, you'd probably go somewhere else. So you didn't know and-and I don't care-I mean, I do-but you were telling the truth."

"Yeah, I was and he's probably right. That guy was a psycho."

"I know."

Joey was excited but was starting to feel a little guilty. He hadn't meant to hurt Chandler's feelings. It's just...it had been a lot of lying.

"I hope one day you trust me again."

"Give me some more time….you're doing a good job but it's only been like a month," Joey said.

"Yeah."

"How was the meeting?" Joey asked.

"Draining."

"Do you want me to go with you to one?"

"No. Just….want to do better," Chandler said.

Joey smiled at him as he patted Chandler on the back. The two walked in the building. He was trying and Joey had to give him credit for that and he would have to start trusting him again and that would take time.

Going back on Days was the perfect career move. He was even nominated for a Soapie. It was like the People's Choice Awards of awards, some might say that it was the fourth most prestigious award ever. He had wanted Chandler to go with him but Chandler had an AA meeting and invited his dad. Rachel, overhearing Chandler canceling, invited herself to go in his place. He had kinda wanted to win. It would have been an amazing validation but a few hours later, he and Rachel were changed out of their fancy clothes into their more comfortable clothes, eating Chinese food with the rest of the group sans Chandler and complaining. Joey had lost.

"There was part of me that wanted to win. That would have been so incredible, I know it's not an Emmy or anything but it….I've struggled for so long you know. It would've been nice," Joey said.

"I'm sorry, Joe," Ross said.

"I'm still wondering why you took Rachel and not me," Phoebe said.

"He didn't even want to take me first, he wanted to take Chandler," Rachel said.

"Why?" Phoebe asked.

"He's a rough month and a half, I kinda thought he could use a break," Joey said.

"Ehhh, fuck that….he wouldn't enjoy it like I would," Rachel said. "I know these people."

"Who else do you know?" Joey asked.

"Everyone….oh, Pheebs, I so was rooting for the guy who survived his own cremation," Rachel said.

"He was in my category. You were rooting against me?" Joey asked.

"Not out loud," Rachel said.

Joey stared at her and then at Ross for a little help. Ross just shook his head and laughed. Rachel's love of soaps ran deep, very deep, almost terrifyingly deep.

"Hey, guys," Monica said, sitting at her computer. She hadn't really been involved in the conversation and Joey had momentarily forgotten she was there, "Would you wanna go with me to an Al Anon meeting?"

"What's that?" Joey asked.

"It's for friends and family members who have loved ones who are addicts. I think I wanna go to one….so like if Chandler ever falls off the wagon again we know what to do and we don't actually kill him."

"I'll go," Joey said as the others agreed. Monica turned back to her computer as Joey continued to complain about not getting the award. He knew that it was just an honor to be nominated but he really did not buy that. It would have been a bigger honor to win.

"Hey, guys," Chandler said as he walked into the apartment. Monica hugged him as the rest of the group got up to greet him.

"Where were you?" Monica asked.

Joey gave Monica a look. She knew where he was but he also knew Monica was getting in the habit of asking him that every single time she saw him and Joey was wondering if he might need to tell Monica to unclench.

"I went to an AA Meeting...and I wanna introduce you to someone...although, Phoebe you'll be very happy to see this person-"

"John Glenn?" Phoebe asked.

"No," Chandler said,"Dad".

Just then, Charles dressed in a long reddish gown walked into the apartment. He was wearing a long red wig. Joey recognized Charles/Helena instantly. Phoebe grinned and ran towards Charles and immediately hugged him. Rachel, Joey and Ross soon joined them in the kitchen.

"Helena," Phoebe said.

"Yes, you know Phoebe," Chandler said.

"Are you staying away from the pretend gay men," Charles said.

"Yes," Phoebe said.

"Oh, dad...this is Joey. I think you've met him and Ross was my roommate in college...that's Rachel and this," Chandler grabbed Monica's hand, "is Monica."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Bing," Monica said.

"Oh, Mr. Bing...that's my son's name. Call me Helena, sweetie." Charles said.

"So you are his father," Joey mused.

"Didn't you meet my dad already?" Chandler asked.

"Yes...but now...I feel you should tell us more about Chandler as a child...embarrassing stuff...like did he dress up in women's clothing?" Joey said. His night had been so tough with losing the award that maybe hearing more stories about Chandler might make him feel better. The funny stories, not the scary ones. Phoebe though seemed to be taking up most of the time, talking about her wedding to Duncan. He didn't want to hear about that again. Duncan was a dumbass, yadda, yadda, yadda. There was a wedding. He was not gay. So boring, he had heard it way too many times.

"Hey," Chandler whispered, tapping Joey on the shoulder, "how was the award show? Sorry, I couldn't come."

"I lost," Joey said.

"Sorry, man….but you know what, you're gonna win an Oscar or an Emmy in a few years so what the hell is a Soapie?" Chandler asked.

"Marry me," Joey said, deadpanned.

Chandler cocked his head to the side as if he was contemplating that. Monica just stared at both of them.

"Okay, don't answer that honey because I've already put down a deposit at the hotel where we're having the wedding and I'm afraid of your answer," Monica said.

"Why can't you just have an open mind?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Chandler said.

Monica looked at both of them and looked at Helena sitting on the couch in a sparkly gown. Charles/Helena. Her future father-in-law. She looked back at Chandler.

"Yeah, I think my mind is pretty open," Monica said as she walked back to the couch and sat, listening to more stories or listening to Phoebe finish her story.

"It was a very fun wedding," Phoebe grinned.

"It was but honey, no more fake gay men for you," Helena grinned.

"Didn't Rachel also see you in Vegas once?" Ross asked.

Rachel's eyes widened as she glared at him. Joey noticed Ross look like he was ready to explode. Joey and Chandler exchanged a look. Joey looked over at Monica and Phoebe who looked equally stunned, Phoebe covered her mouth, looking like she was hiding a smile.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"I-on my twenty first birthday, my friends and I went to Vegas and we saw your show, Helena," Rachel said.

"Oh, yeah…..did you enjoy it?" Helena asked.

"I did."

Helena simply smiled and turned back to Phoebe who began to talk about Duncan some more. Joey kept watching Rachel who seemed like she was incredibly uncomfortable. Chandler's behavior also changed. He seemed like he was getting upset about something and Joey couldn't figure out what was going on. Monica kept glancing over at Chandler and looking over at Rachel. Something was going on. After Chandler walked Charles/Helena out the door, he looked at Rachel.

"What happened between you and my father?" Chandler asked.

"Nothing," Rachel said.

Something happened? What happened? Joey was bursting with excitement.

"Rachel," Chandler said walking towards the couch and sitting down.

"You have to tell him," Monica said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Why do I have to tell him?" Rachel asked.

"Because you can no longer keep this a secret," Monica said.

"Okay, but you cannot drink. You have been doing so well and if you drink...you can't and-" Rachel said.

"What happened?" Chandler asked.

Rachel let out a sigh as she got up and walked towards him, sitting next to him on the couch.

"I was twenty one and we went to Vegas. A bunch of us and I-I really wanted to see a drag show and I went….it was about sixteen of us and we saw Viva Las Gaygas and um….well, after Helena invited us to an afterparty and half the group, including Barry, went to go see Barry Manilow instead and then I went with the other half to the after party and I didn't know it was your dad. How would I have known? At the time, I still pretended I didn't know you….well, we got really, really wasted and one thing led to another and from the neck down….Helena is still Charles and in the light of day, it dawned on me. He had mentioned having a son the night before but it didn't click until I noticed who he looked like and….I never thought I'd see you or Monica again and…..I...I am so sorry," Rachel said.

This was amazing. How come Rachel had never said anything? She always pumped him for information about his past but maybe he should have been asking her a few more questions. He kept looking over at Chandler who just kept staring at Rachel.

"I wanna watch the Hot Dog movie," Chandler said suddenly.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Monica can you make slow death smoothies for Joey, Phoebe, Ross and yourself….and then get some Red Bull for Rachel and I? Rach and I are going to be watching this a lot tonight," Chandler said.

Joey laughed, of course, Chandler's revenge would involve something that would torture Rachel. Perfect.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"What other movies do you hate?" Chandler asked.

"Die Hard, make her watch Die Hard….and porn," Joey said, he wanted to play.

"Joey," Rachel admonished.

"I'll make the drinks," Monica said.

"Monica," Rachel said.

"I'll be right back. Joe, come with me and help me pick….Ross, you too," Chandler said as he got up and walked towards the guest room. Joey and Ross followed him into the guest room where he shut the door and Chandler spun around to face Ross.

"You knew," Chandler said.

"I-well-I-it was a secret," Ross said.

"She slept with my father," Chandler said.

"You know what's funny? Ross kissed your mom and Rachel slept with your dad, it's like you're their child….so gross," Joey laughed.

"She was twenty one though, she probably thought she wasn't gonna see any of us again and it was probably just a mistake. She was with Barry at the time," Ross said.

"Alright, what movies does she hate?" Chandler asked as he reached for the Hot Dog movie.

"Stephen King movies," Joey said.

"Is this your version of justice?" Ross asked.

"Yep," Chandler said as he began rifling through his collections. Soon they had gathered about ten movies that Rachel disliked and decided those would be the movies they would watch. This was gonna be fun. Slow Death smoothies and pissing off Rachel. It was just too much fun. Joey noticed though Monica standing by the counter, not making the smoothies at all. He walked over to her, staring at her blender.

"Unclench and make the damn smoothies," Joey said.

"I-I don't know. I'm having second thoughts...I also got rid of all the booze," Monica said.

"Seriously?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Monica said.

"Alright, let's see what I have," Joey said. "What do I need?"

"Jaegermeister, Everclear, Rum, Cinnamon Schnapps and Southern Comfort."

"Okay, there's a liquor store across the street."

"Joey, I don't think-"

"Monica, he didn't go with me to the awards show tonight because he chose an AA meeting. He is trying. Unclench. He wants us to trust him again. Okay?"

Monica nodded as they both looked over at Chandler sitting next to Rachel. He was showing her the back of the Hot Dog movie.

"I don't…."

"Monica. Let him try."

"Okay...yeah, okay…."

Joey ran out to get the ingredients for this punch and soon returned. Monica made the drinks while Rachel and Chandler enjoyed Red Bull. He noticed Monica kept looking over at Chandler, kept patting his leg, watching him. Chandler seemed to notice too because he jokingly picked up a pillow and held it in front of Monica's face. Monica laughed as she grabbed the pillow and smacked him with it. He placed his arm around her as they continued watching the movies. Joey would need to make a mental note that he would need to make sure Monica remained unclenched.


	49. Chapter 49

**April 2001**

Several days after that movie marathon, Ross was hanging out in Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey was getting ready to go out. He was going to Jersey again for Carmela's birthday. Ross was waiting for Rachel.

"So Monica said no to inviting Kristi to the wedding?" Ross asked.

"No. I'm a man of the cloth," Joey said, he had tried again after he had gotten officiated, seeing if he could bring Kristi. Monica said no to having her, personally he thought she was being a bit judgy.

"No, you're not. You're just officiating," Ross said.

"And as the person officiating, I should be allowed to invite Kristi, my dancing best friend. Maybe I could hook her up with someone."

"I'm single."

"She is so out of your league."

"She's a stripper."

"Dancer. Just her dancing involves nudity….and a pole...and people giving her money."

"Can we go see Kristi for Chandler's bachelor party?"

"Of course. We gotta do something 'cause we can't give him booze."

"Mon would kill us….I would kill us. What about one of Kristi's friends? I really do need a date. I'm watching my little sister marry my commitment-phobe recovering addict best friend and I'm going to be….alone."

"I'd set you up but none of them are looking to get married."

"Anytime you wanna stop with those jokes."

"But I don't. Hey, is it true that I'm the Keymaster?" Joey asked.

"What?"

"Chandler was telling me that he put it together that you were at one of my parties back when you were in high school," Joey said. During one of the times Joey watched Chandler during withdrawals, they had discussed Joey's parties. Chandler had gone to one, Rachel had gone to one and apparently so had Ross.

"Yeah, me and a couple buddies went to one of your apparently legendary house parties. You were called the Keymaster because you had girls stuck to you like velcro."

"Oh, those were good times."

"How do you get that?"

"What?"

"How do you get these girls to just...attach themselves."

"Are you asking for dating advice?" Joey asked, a little confused.

"I'm desperate," Ross said.

"Hmmmm, alright...did I ever tell you how I went backpacking through Western Europe?" Joey asked, a story that he and Kristi had come with together once while he had been crashing in her apartment. They were drunk and talking about the best story to use if you wanted to have sex. The story had done them both a world of good.

"That didn't happen."

"That's not the point," Joey said, "alright, I do have a date. I'm hanging out with Kristi and her friend, Mindi and I gotta...there's a business thing I gotta take care of," Joey said, which wasn't quite true. They would all be at Carmela's party. It was a big one.

"Can I come?"

"No. So, here's what I'm going to do," Joey said as he got his video camera and set it up, "practice the story. Once I went backpacking in Western Europe and I saw a woman, bathing in the river and she was crying…"

"Whoa."

"I know. Practice it for the camera and watch it back. You can add details, whatever...just make it romantic."

"Okay."

Joey set up the camera and patted him on the back, before taking his jacket and walking out the door. First stop, though, was Columbia. He needed to make sure Meadow was going. Tony had wanted Meadow there, Carmela had wanted Meadow there but Meadow had cut herself off from her family.

When the cab pulled up in front of the dorms, he called her. Columbia looked kinda cool, big. It looked old and for a brief moment, he wondered what it would have been like to go to college. The parties with kids at Columbia must be wild.

"I'm not going," Meadow said, suddenly appearing in front of him. He hadn't even noticed her walking up to him.

"It's your mom's birthday."

"My father is a mobster and everyone knows."

"Who cares? I'm telling you, my friends think it's cool. They ask me if I can have Tony kill off the people that annoy them like all the time….they don't know how it works...but you have to go," Joey said. "You'll regret it if you don't."

"Fine, I'll bring my boyfriend," Meadow said as she grabbed her cell phone and dialed. Joey didn't care too much until she told him they'd have to stop off at Rutgers in Jersey to pick up Jackie Aprile Jr.. Joey knew Jackie Aprile was friends with Tony. Jackie and Tony had risen through the DiMeo Crime Family ranks together and Joey found it a little bizarre that for as pissed as Meadow was about her dad, she was fine dating the son of a mobster who was just like her dad. Seemed a little bizarre to him.

When they arrived at the party, his entire family as well as the Sopranos were there. It was truly like a mobster party. He looked over and saw Kristi drinking champagne. He quickly made a beeline towards her as she held out a glass for him.

"So guess what?" Kristi asked.

"What and where's your friend, Mindi?"

"She couldn't come but I'm officially enrolled in business school," Kristi said.

"Nice...wait, okay...I know I want you to quit but-"

"Don't worry, I'll still dance for the bachelor and I'll pretend I don't know him so it won't be awkward for him," Kristi said.

"Ridiculous."

"I actually find it sweet. He's a sweet kid," Kristi said.

"I guess. We got to make this an awesome bachelor party. How do you make it awesome if the bachelor can't drink?"

"Well, you're going for dinner….come after, I will give him a dance and I have some friends that will show him a good time," Kristi said before noticing Joey's look, "not that good of a time."

"I'm sorry you can't come to the wedding," Joey said.

"I'm okay. I get it. She's dating Jackie Jr?"

"Who? Meadow?"

"Yeah, I don't understand...she's mad at her dad because he kills people for a living and yet, she's dating a guy who's dad is basically like her dad," Kristi said.

"Yep."

"Daddy issues for a thousand," Kristi said.

"You think?"

"By the way, I'm sorry about your Soapie."

"It's okay…..I mean, I totally thought I should win."

"Yeah, but you were up against a guy who survived his own cremation."

"What? Like that's hard. I mean, I had a brain transplant," Joey said.

"I miss Jessica Lockhart. She was so good on Days."

"You're a horrible friend."

"I'm glad you got her brain and whatever….it's good you're out of a coma and have camera time but still….I miss her."

"I don't….although, I did sleep with her," Joey said, sipping his champagne.

"What?" Kristi asked.

"Yep...so I got all the parts of Jessica Lockart in me," Joey said.

"Why are you a pig?" Kristi asked.

"Daddy issues," Joey said.

Kristi laughed as Christopher and Adriana practically sprinted towards them in a state of glee that Joey had rarely seen.

"So, guess what Christopher got me?" Adriana asked.

"An STD?" Joey asked, "oh shit, did I say that out loud."

"No, I thought that's what your sugar daddy got you?" Adriana asked.

"Nicely played," Joey said.

"And I don't got no STD's. I'm as clean as a whistle," Christopher said.

"You shot up before we got here," Adriana said.

"Can we get to your news?" Christopher asked. "I got her a nightclub."

"You what?" Kristi said.

"Yeah, he got me a nightclub," Adriana said.

"See, how do you like that Ms. Hollywood?" Christopher asked.

"Oh, is it Ms. Hollywood because my character has a brain of a woman?" Joey asked.

"Ehhh, can't get nothing past you," Christopher said.

"Okay...how….how-what-I don't get it," Joey said.

"What else is new? I got ownership in a nightclub and I'm giving it to Adriana," Christopher said.

"How did you afford that?" Joey asked.

"Does it matter?" Christopher asked.

Joey opened his mouth and wanted to say more but thought maybe it would be better if he knew nothing. Some stuff was just better off not knowing.

"Joey, you've gotta come opening night. You're a celebrity," Adriana said.

"Please, he's a failed sitcom actor who couldn't even get himself a Soapie," Christopher said.

"I love the fact that you know what a Soapie is," Kristi said.

"I know and I was going against a guy who survived his own cremation so….it was tough. So tough that Kristi and my friend, Rachel, were both rooting for that guy and not me," Joey said.

"Well, yeah," Kristi said.

"Even still….to have a celebrity opening-" Adriana said.

"I don't know," Joey said.

"It's 'cause he's embarrassed by his roots. He forgets where he came from as he's sitting up there in his village apartment," Christopher said.

"You know, you got me fired once. I'm not gonna let you do it a second time," Joey said.

With that, Joey walked away from him. He kinda liked that he had done that and of course, he had to call Monica. He knew Monica and Chandler had gone out to dinner but he felt she should know. He walked off towards a more private area of the backyard and pulled out his phone, dialing Monica's number.

"Hey, Joey," Monica said as soon as she answered.

"You will be so proud of me."

"Why?"

"I did not punch Christopher in the face. He was taunting me and I walked away."

"Oh, I'm so proud," Monica said, "Chandler, Joey didn't punch Christopher for taunting him."

Joey laughed as he heard rustling on the other end and soon Chandler on the other line.

"So proud of you. Our boy is growing up," Chandler said, "see, I knew now having the brain of a woman would come in handy."

"Funny."

"Now, can you tell Monica she can order her scotch on the rocks with a twist," Chandler said.

"I'm-I'm not thirsty," Monica yelled.

Joey laughed some more as he heard rustling again and soon Monica was back on the phone.

"I'm not thirsty," Monica said.

"Monica."

"I'm-"

"Look, it's been a rough few months. He's doing okay. Have your damn drink or I will punch Christopher in the face."

"Joey."

"I will," Joey said as Christopher, Adriana, Kristi and Tony approached him. "Oh, speak of the devil, I can do it right now."

"We have a problem," Tony said. "Get off the damn phone."

"What's going on?" Joey could hear Monica ask.

"I gotta go, Mon. Drink your drink, I'll talk to you later, everything's fine and I will-"

Tony grabbed the phone out of Joey's hand and hung up for him. Joey stared at him and grabbed his phone back.

"What the hell?" Joey asked.

"AJ is at the police station. Apparently, he vandalized the school. He's being held down there and….I don't want Carmela knowing...it's her birthday," Tony said.

"So we have to bail him out," Kristi said.

"Really?" Joey asked.

"I'll give you the money," Tony said.

"And your car," Joey said.

"Fine, he's at the East Orange Police Station," Tony said.

"Okay, don't worry Uncle Ton, we'll take care of it," Christopher said.

"No, no. I just want Joey doing this. Kristi you can go with him," Tony said.

Joey grinned at Christopher who looked furious with the fact that Tony had chosen Joey over Christopher. Joey knew this was killing Christopher inside and that just made him far happier than it really should have. It really didn't matter how old he got, it was a feeling that would never go away. That excitement when Tony showed his favoritism for Joey over Christopher.

He pulled up in front of the East Orange Police Station and went through the process of bailing AJ out. When AJ was in the car, Joey wasn't quite sure what to say to him. He wanted to say something but he wasn't sure he could. He wasn't sure it was his place.

"So do my parents know?" AJ asked.

"Your dad does, why do you think I'm here," Joey said.

"Whatever, it's all so ridiculous. Like my parents have any right to judge me," AJ said.

"Look, AJ….you know, I mean….you vandalized your school. You could get expelled. It is kind of a big deal. You're going down a dangerous path," Joey said.

"Oh, really, you're gonna judge me?" AJ asked.

"We're not judging it's just-" Kristi tried.

"Yeah, like I'm gonna take advice from a rapist and a porn star-stripper and my father is a crime boss. Yeah, that's who I like to turn to get advice," AJ said.

Joey gripped the steering wheel and looked over at Kristi. He wanted to turn around and punch AJ in the head but instead he started the car. He would not say anything. He would just keep driving. AJ was turning into a little punk and he kinda understood now why his sister Gina took his nephew all the way across the country. He wouldn't want Michael anywhere near AJ.

As Joey pulled into the driveway, he noticed Tony out front with a busty brunette who was clearly not Carmela. They were locked in a kiss and Joey could feel his heart drop into his stomach. Was Tony really cheating on Carmela...on her birthday?

"Yeah, that's my father. My role model," AJ said.

"Get the fuck out of the car or I will slam your head into the driveway," Joey said.

"Joey," Kristi said.

AJ let out a snort as he got out of the car. Joey watched him as he walked towards Tony and the brunette. AJ tapped Tony on the shoulder and pointed towards the car. Joey could see them talking but he did not want to get out of the car. He wasn't sure what he would do, he was getting more and more angry. Tony walked towards the car and Kristi got out, letting Tony in.

"You're cheating on your wife," Joey said.

"What? You're gonna tell me about being faithful?"

"Your son is vandalizing his school. AJ is a little punk."

"I know, reminds me of you."

"Meadow is now dating Jackie Jr. and yet she wants nothing to do with you. Tony, aren't you getting tired?"

"Hey, you're not better than me. Don't forget where you came from although it's clear you already have."

"I don't forget where I came from….I just have moved on. Tony, you were in prison for eleven months. It was painful seeing you in there. AJ is a punk, Meadow clearly has some sort of daddy issues and you're cheating on your wife, on her birthday….even I wouldn't do something that fucked up-"

"Oh, I don't buy that," Tony said.

"It's just you can do so much better and-"

With that, Tony suddenly grabbed Joey by the throat and shoved him up against the car. Joey could feel Tony's fingers digging into his skin and he was struggling to breathe as his head was being shoved into the glass of the window. Joey was convinced that Tony was about to smash his head through the window.

"Listen you mother fuckin' piece of shit," Tony said, "I don't give a flying fuck what you do but don't you dare tell me how to raise my family you pretentious piece of Hollywood shit," Tony said.

Joey was trying to reach for Tony's fingers as he tried to peel them from his neck. He began to see spots appearing in front of him as he thought he was going to black out. Tony soon let go of Joey's throat and Joey began to hack, trying to catch his breath.

"What….the…..hell," Joey managed to sputter out.

"I'm going to enjoy my wife's birthday. Come in or leave, I don't give a fuck," Tony said getting out the car and walking towards the barbecue, leaving Joey alone in the dark. He didn't know if he could go back into that party. He didn't know if he could go home. He looked at himself in the mirror and turned on the lights, he could see marks appearing on his neck. He wasn't sure how he was going to explain this to the other five. Slowly, he got out of the car. He had to rejoin the barbecue. He had no choice. He walked into the backyard and tossed Tony his keys. Tony barely said a word to him as he went in search of Kristi.

"What happened to you?" Kristi asked.

"Nothing. I wanna go home."

"Okay. I'll leave too. Let Ashley's babysitter off early."

Joey nodded and with Kristi by his side, he said goodbye to Carmela and wished her a happy birthday. When Carmela asked about the marks on his neck, he brushed them off and he and Kristi walked out, taking a cab to the station to head back into New York.

"Why do you idolize Tony? You and Christopher? Why do you idolize him?" Kristi asked.

"I just do. He….he's...I don't know. He's strong. He doesn't take shit-"

"You know who I think are pretty strong? The friends you have now. The stories you've told me about them. Rachel running out on her wedding and rebuilding her life. Ross keeps looking for love and won't be defeated. Chandler and his addiction struggles. Phoebe going from homeless to living in the village. Monica with this group she put together and takes care of. They're strong. Tony….he's a killer. He cheats on his wife. His kids are fucked up."

"I know. I don't wanna talk about it," Joey said, staring out the window into the darkness. He touched his neck and could see the little red marks. He hoped there would be no bruising. When he got home that night all the wanted was to simply go to sleep.

Waking up the next morning, he had bruises on his neck and when Rachel asked about it, he brushed it off. It was nothing. Instead, he went to work and the bruises were light enough to be covered with make-up. He went to work where nothing was said and then an audition for a part he wanted in a movie. It was a movie where he would be required to be naked which he wasn't quite sure about although his friends were quick to point out that he was fine with wanting to be a butt double so perhaps now he'd be a full frontal. It could work or maybe not as he quickly realized something the casting director wanted that he did not have. A turtleneck. A special type of turtleneck around a special part of his body. Monica had tried to help him, fashioning things out of silly putty and deli meat but nothing worked as the silly putty fell off in the midst of the audition.

"It fell off?" Monica asked as he walked back into the apartment, putting the used silly putty on her counter, "and please throw that away. I know where that's been."

Joey laughed as he threw it out and plopped down next to her. He was a little sad about that audition. It would have been a great part.

"I wanted that."

"There will be other parts."

"I know….just I loved that story. It was a love story and-and you would have all been able to see me naked."

"I've seen you naked. Hey, Joe….the marks on your neck from the other day. You never mentioned them or said anything-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Joey."

"Uncle Tony. AJ got in trouble for vandalizing his school and Meadow is dating some guy who is the son of Tony's best friend who is a mob guy and-and Tony's cheating and I guess I sorta mouthed off or whatever so Tony put his hands around my neck and slammed me into a car window."

"Ouch."

"I don't know. Just they keep saying I'm forgetting where I came from and-"

"You know, you didn't forget where you came from. You didn't. You outgrew it. There's a difference. Other things are important to you now like trying to regrow foreskin," Monica said.

"That is truly the weirdest thing you and I have ever done."

"Definitely," Monica said.

"You tell Chandler?"

"Of course."

"He's been quiet about it."

"He's building up ammunition."

"Oh," Joey said.

"But….look you could have just spent the last eleven months in prison but if you had, we probably never would have had this bonding time together."

"I will treasure it forever. Sometimes I do miss it, it was a rush. I just….I wanted to be him, Monica. Tony Soprano. I worshiped him and-and maybe on some level I still do but it's just-I don't want-"

"It must be terrifying to live like Tony Soprano."

"I don't think he's that scared."

"No, it's gotta be. I mean, he's always looking over his shoulder, the walls are always dangerously close to caving in and it's...he can't trust anyone really and-it's gotta really be scary. You said he's in therapy and okay….can he tell his therapist stuff? 'Cause wouldn't the therapist have to say something if he admits to something and how could he be a good dad? It doesn't sound like a fun way to live."

"I guess."

"I know we're far more boring but-"

"Oh please, we constructed foreskin," Joey said.

"I know."

"So, what about you Mon. You unclenched yet? You're gaining weight."

"Little tip Joe, never say that to a woman. Especially one who has issues with food."

"I'm meaning it nice. I don't like it when you're too thin. It scares me," Joey said. "I need you around Geller."

"I know," Monica said, "and I'm trying and he is going every single night to AA and he has therapy. I did have my scotch on the rocks in front of him. So there, even though I still think we should not be drinking in front of him but I just….but-he's-I'm terrified. Yes, he's trying but-"

"You've got to let him try, you gotta let him rebuild the trust. He knows he fucked up. I don't….he wasn't lying to me when he said he didn't know Eddie was the one selling the drugs to his brother. He was telling me the truth and I will say it again, he loves us more than the addiction. I think it was proven."

"It was."

Chandler walked into the apartment at that moment, happy to see them both. He walked over to Monica and gave her a kiss before plopping down and looking over at Joey.

"So heard my fiancee made you a penis?" Chandler asked, beaming. Monica playfully threw a pillow at him.

"I did not make him a penis. It was just the turtleneck which he doesn't have," Monica said.

"I didn't even get the part," Joey said.

"Awww, well….Mon, you are never allowed to mock Chanoey ever again," Chandler said.

"Are you kidding me? You two have kissed three times? Once was at New Years and I witnessed that one," Monica asked.

"We have not-" Joey said.

"I told her," Chandler said. "I like telling her things."

"What is wrong with you?" Joey asked.

"A lot," Chandler said.

"Relax, I know neither one of you are actually gay and I will not tell anyone. I mean, please, I tried to make him a penis turtleneck. I think we're all just too far gone," Monica said.

"Probably, but you're not mad?" Joey asked.

"No. I mean, I questioned it at first and if you two are then….but I think you guys are weirdly close and Joey, you probably would sleep with anything-"

"Very true," Joey said.

"And Chandler given your upbringing, it doesn't shock me but...and none of this happened while Chandler and I have been together and I will never tell anyone else. So I'm okay."

"See, that's why she's the best," Chandler said.

"You truly are, Mon," Joey said.

"Yep, you know….I know my birthday has already passed but for next year….I want a shrine. I want a statue in my honor because I am a goddamn saint," Monica mused.

"You don't want a statue. 'Cause birds will poop on you and then make a mess," Chandler said.

"Ehh, you two will clean it up," Monica said.

Joey and Chandler laughed as the trio remained on the couch. They were weirdly close, all three of them. That half of the six, they were intertwined so deeply that even the most nonsensical, most interesting of things that would cause anyone else to raise an eyebrow simply did not even faze them. It was just accepted as yet another thing to think about. Yet another thing that brought them even closer together.


	50. Chapter 50

**April 2001-May 2001**

He was looking forward to Chandler's thirty second birthday. The guy had been sober for two months and he was working hard. He also thought it was kinda cool that Chandler wanted to do stand-up for his birthday. He had apparently tried it once before with Phoebe when she had first moved in and now wanted to do it again. Chandler was funny and Joey had no doubt this would be a great show.

"So how is making fun of us going to be therapeutic for you?" Ross asked as they all sat around a small circular table in the middle of Improv East Comedy Club.

"I'm not just making fun of you. I'm...making fun of myself. It's just...I wanna hear Phoebe laugh at me," Chandler said.

"I laugh at you all the time," Phoebe said.

"Not just behind my back," Chandler said.

"Oh...yeah, I've done that a lot," Phoebe grinned.

"I know," Chandler said as a waiter walked towards the table to ask about drinks which of course caused an uncomfortable silence to fall over the group. While they hadn't really been the most consistent in not drinking in front of Chandler, they still looked to Monica to set the tone. Would they drink? Would they not? Monica soon broke the silence.

"Diet Coke is fine," Monica said as the waiter began writing things down.

"Why not scotch on the rocks with a twist?" Chandler asked.

"It's okay," Monica said.

Joey knew Monica's plan was a failure. He knew what she was trying to do but she had her scotch on the rocks in front of him once, they had drank the slow death smoothies in front of him. She was trying so hard to implement something that just wasn't going to work.

"And for you, sir?" The waiter asked, looking straight at Chandler.

"If you have Red Bull, I'd love that. If not, a Coke is fine and um...I'd like to change all of their drink orders," Chandler said.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Give me a break...you don't want sodas," Chandler said.

"We do," Monica said.

"Well...I do actually kind of want a beer...but you told us we couldn't drink in front of him," Joey said.

"Really? I knew it." Chandler said.

"Thanks, Joe," Monica said, glaring at him.

Joey figured Chandler already knew and this wasn't a secret so he was happy to get it all out in the open. Maybe this would help Monica unclench.

"When we went to the game last week, Joey and Ross each had a beer so your plan is not working," Chandler said.

"Guys," Monica said. Chandler shook his head as he turned back to the waiter.

"Okay, here's what they're getting...and this can prove that I've been listening," Chandler began as he pointed to Monica then Joey, Phoebe, Ross and finally Rachel, stopping at each one, "she will have scotch on the rocks with a twist, he will have a Sam Adams Utopia, she will have Jack and Coke, he'll have a glass of Pinot Grigio and she will have a Sour Apple Martini."

"Okay...got that, is that alright?" The waiter asked.

"I don't-" Monica said.

"Monica, stop," Chandler said, cutting her off as the waiter walked off to get their drinks.

"Are you sure?" Monica asked.

"Yes...you are amazing, Mon...all I've wanted is normal. It's normal for you to drink," Chandler said.

"And it is impressive that you know each of our drinks," Rachel mused.

"I thought so," Chandler said.

"It's not going to be too difficult?" Monica asked.

"No, it will be. It was hard to see Joey and Ross drink beers at the game...but I'm gonna have to get used to it."

"I just want you to be okay," Monica said, grabbing his hand.

"I am," he said as he leaned in to give her a kiss. "I got you...and if I make Phoebe laugh tonight, well then it'll be the perfect birthday."

"Oh, you know we do have to start planning your bachelor party...I've been waiting for this since 1988," Joey said. He had been planning, but there were some ideas he had.

"We weren't friends yet in 1988," Chandler said.

"Doesn't matter," Joey said.

"So how do you feel about the Pizza Hut?" Ross asked, grinning.

Ross' bachelor party when he was marrying Carol was at Pizza Hut and he had contemplated Pizza Hut but thought maybe something fancier was in order.

"You know what, I would actually be fine with that. They have games," Chandler said, truthfully. "Why do you hate the Hut?"

"I don't hate the Hut," Ross said.

"Who are we inviting?" Joey said.

"Well, you two and...Tyler and-" Chandler said.

"Gandalf?" Ross asked.

"No...not Gandalf," Chandler said, shaking his head.

"Why not?" Ross asked.

"Gandalf...he invited me for drinks last week. I said no but...he doesn't really get it and he thinks the rest of you are overreacting so...I'd rather not. I'd rather be with you guys...and Tyler. Maybe a couple guys from work but um...no Gandalf."

"You alright about that?" Ross asked.

Joey really did not like this Gandalf guy. He seemed like such a dumbass.

"Yeah, yeah...I'm alright," Chandler said.

"He thought we were overreacting?" Rachel asked.

"I guess...I didn't go with him but he's sort of been avoiding me, not answering calls. He didn't even call to wish me a happy birthday...So...I don't really wanna talk about it. It's karma. Right? I vanished right before Ross' first wedding. Seems only fitting he'd vanish before mine. Besides, the friends that I hoped would stick with me have," Chandler said.

"Oh, honey...if we haven't left you by now," Rachel said patting him on the back which made Chandler laugh a little.

"Happy Birthday, man," Ross said.

"Thanks. I can't believe I'm gonna do this and I'm glad you're here. It's more fun," Chandler said.

"Pheebs, you were with him when he did this the first time? Was he good?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, Pheebs...I was so wasted that time," Chandler said.

"Me too," Phoebe said.

Chandler laughed and soon it was his turn to get on stage. Joey watched him closely as Chandler disappeared behind the stage. He was nervous for him but he had an idea that Chandler would do just fine.

"He's getting better," Rachel said.

"He really is," Monica said, "Ross, we're gonna have to track down Gandalf."

"What? Why? We hate that guy," Ross said.

"The guy is a turd douche nozzle," Joey said.

"I know, I agree and we all hate him but he's Chandler's friend and Chandler liked the guy and I think it would hurt him if Gandalf didn't show up to the wedding," Monica said.

"I'm not inviting him to the bachelor party," Ross said.

"You don't have to...it's just, I think it would mean a lot to Chandler if Gandalf showed up. I know he has been a horrible friend but if we permanently cut everyone out of our lives who had at one point been horrible friend….well…" Monica said looking over at Rachel.

"Oh my G-d, are you using me to prove your point?" Rachel asked.

"Kinda," Monica said. "Oh, look...they have deep fried twinkies." She pointed to the menu as Rachel's mouth dropped and she pretended to look shocked.

"Oh, he's starting," Phoebe said, "this is gonna be amazing. He was so good the last time."

The group watched as Chandler took the stage. Joey noticed as Chandler's eyes scanned the crowd and landed at their table. He was watching them as he began. He talked about his family, how crazy his life was, his sobriety. He was funny, Joey laughed, they all did but it was when Phoebe laughed, that's when Chandler just stood there beaming. That laugh was so amazing. It truly was. You just could not help but smile.

"You laughed….he's a happy boy," Rachel said.

"Well, he's easy to laugh at...and with," Phoebe said.

"It is the best laugh in the world," Joey said.

"Guys," Monica admonished as she turned to look back at him.

Phoebe looked over at Joey and linked her arm in his, He knew how happy it made Phoebe to see him up there, it made them all happy.

"He's better than he was the first time," Phoebe whispered.

"Yeah?" Joey asked.

"He's gonna be okay," Phoebe said.

"I think so," Joey said.

The group continued to watch as Chandler finished his set. When he was done, he made a beeline towards them and Joey thought he could possibly explode with how thrilled he was. Chandler was actually happy.

As the wedding got closer, Ross and Joey really wanted to plan Chandler's bachelor party. Bar hopping was out and none of them wanted to go clubbing so instead they were thinking steak dinner and perhaps a strip club. Kristi was going to dance for them and it would be a good time but they had to plan. There were big things to take care of.

"Maybe we should have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party," Monica said as they sat together with the rest of the group in the apartment. Ross, Joey, Rachel, Phoebe and Chandler all looked over at Monica. Rachel and Phoebe had been planning the bachelorette party. Joey knew what she was doing, they all knew.

"Why? You girls don't wanna see naked ladies?" Joey asked.

"I'm going to a strip club?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, yeah baby," Joey said, although Chandler should have known this already.

"It's only been two months and...I mean-" Monica said.

"Monica, unclench," Chandler said, giving her a grin.

"It's been two months….maybe it's better if we just go together as a group," Monica said.

"I don't wanna hang out with the boys, they're dumb," Rachel said.

"Yeah and we're gonna see male strippers," Phoebe said.

Monica let out an annoyed sigh as Joey and Ross turned back to some of the brochures. Monica really did need to unclench. She needed to let them take control. Chandler was not going to drink, there was no way they were going to let that happen.

First, they went to a steak dinner. It was Ross, Joey, Chandler's friend, Tyler and of course, Chandler. The three men had also decided on another thing that they knew would thrill their friend. Chandler would not have to pay for anything.

"Seriously? I don't have to pay for anything?" Chandler asked.

"No, the three of us will pay. Your wallet will rest this evening," Ross said.

"I like that," Chandler said.

"So, what's your name?" Joey asked the waitress as she approached them. He might have to make this a bigger bash.

"Alli," the waitress said.

"You know, Alli….we're having a party later. It's to celebrate that guy," Joey said pointing at Chandler, "He's getting married. It's making me sad. It reminds me of a girl I met once while backpacking through Western Europe."

"Oh my G-d….is that a line?" Alli asked.

"No, I don't do lines. I wouldn't even know how," Joey said.

Alli giggled a little as she ripped a piece of a paper off her pad and wrote her number down before handing it to him.

"Call me. I'll come over when I'm done with work," Alli said before walking off leaving the other three guys staring at him.

"How the hell do you do that?" Tyler asked.

"I have a gift," Joey said.

"I'm so glad I'm never gonna have to try to get a girl's number again," Chandler said.

"So glad I'm married," Tyler said.

"Rachel really is my only hope," Ross said.

"Hey, Ross...I wanted to ask, that girl you dated? Did she ever say anything about those scones?" Tyler asked.

"He doesn't know," Chandler said.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Remember when I gave you a box of blueberry scones to give to Emily. Rachel and I came up with an idea and Tyler's wife is British and knows how to make scones," Chandler said.

"What?" Ross asked.

"You know how people say Rachel and I would have made a great team at camp. We're both really good at pranking people," Chandler said.

"Oh no...no, what was in them?" Ross asked.

"Bugs," Chandler said, "those weren't blueberries."

"Oh, nasty," Joey said, wondering if he had been told this or not and then wondering why he hadn't enlisted Rachel's help in pulling pranks on Chandler? They were roommates now. Missed opportunity.

"I ate one," Ross said.

"Oops," Chandler said.

"She liked the scones….I don't feel bad now that she ate a bug scone but why didn't you tell me?" Ross asked.

"'Cause you liked her at the time," Chandler said.

"Yeah, what was I thinking?" Ross asked.

"So I really don't have to pay for anything tonight?" Chandler asked.

"Nope, we'll pay," Joey said.

"Best party ever ," Chandler said.

The dinner was fantastic. He loved just how easy everything was. There really was no drama, nothing. It was just the guys talking about random guy things and of course, strippers. Strippers were the next stop on the bachelor party extravaganza.

The four boys arrived at Starlets, which was where Kristi was currently working. He watching her as she walked towards them wearing very close to nothing.

"Hey, boys," Kristi said.

"Put on some clothes," Joey said.

"I'm at work Joey. So who's the bachelor?" Kristi said.

"Me but I can't-I don't-I-well, hi," Chandler said.

"You are so cute and weird," Kristi said.

Joey thought it was funny that Kristi was indeed sticking to their end of the bargain that she pretend not to know Chandler in order to make it less awkward. Even Chandler thought it was oddly amusing.

"I'm getting married," Chandler said.

"I know you are, cutie. Alright, I'm on in a few. You gonna give me some cheddar, baby?" Kristi asked, looking at Joey.

"Always do, honey," Joey said as Kristi walked off and Joey still kept grinning. He hated work Kristi though. He hated how she always seemed to turn it up several notches and it was a little obnoxious.

"How are you friends with strippers?" Ross asked.

"No, I have a better question. Six years of being roommates, you didn't chip in once. She dances for three minutes and you give her a few bucks?" Chandler asked.

"Look like that and I'll give you anything you want," Joey said.

"Where did you even meet her?" Tyler asked.

"Kindergarten," Joey said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Oh, she's dancing."

The boys turned to watch Kristi on stage, dancing up against a pole and slowly taking off her clothes to the music. He was always so torn. He loved watching her but he hated that she did this. When she was done for the night, she returned to Joey and Rachel's apartment to hang out with them.

"So was that good, me pretending not to know you so I could make it not awkward?" Kristi asked.

"Good, a little much but it was okay," Chandler said.

"Yeah, you know me too," Ross said.

"Joey said I needed to act like I didn't know you boys and I always lay it on thick at work. It's how I get the most cheddar, baby," Kristi said.

"I can't believe you used that in a sentence," Joey said.

"You don't know me, so you know I bought it," Tyler said.

"It sucks that you can't come to the wedding," Ross said.

"Why can't you come?" Tyler asked.

"'Cause I've given the groom lap dances before. I get it," Kristi said.

"But so have I," Joey said.

"Dude, not in front of Ross and Tyler," Chandler said.

"Sorry, man," Joey said.

"Alright, I have a question. You've been my roommate, Ross' and Joey's….who's your favorite?" Tyler asked.

"Oh, I can answer that," Ross said.

"Oh, me too. On the count of three," Kristi said,

"Yep," Ross said.

Kristi and Ross counted to three before both saying Joey's name at the same time. Joey and Chandler nodded, laughing. It would always be true.

"Yeah, sorry Tyler and Ross...you guys were awesome roommates but you know, Chanoey forever," Chandler said.

"Jandler," Joey shot back.

"Both are weird," Tyler said.

"Very true," Ross said.

"Hey, Kristi...you know, all three of these guys were at some of my house parties. Chandler and Tyler went to the Halloween one, the one where Shane threatened to beat Chandler up and I slept with your friend who dressed like Bo Derek," Joey said.

"I remember that. That was fun. Your Halloween parties were fun," Kristi said.

"They were and Ross, which one were you at?" Joey asked.

"Uh, I don't remember. I think it was right around my birthday. I was like fifteen. So October….1984," Ross said.

"I wonder if that was the party you were arrested at," Kristi said.

"Oh yeah," Joey said.

"You were arrested?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, but that one-" Joey said.

"That was when you made us flirt with the creepy guy at the counter so that you could steal booze," Kristi said.

"Well, duh, I was sixteen. He wasn't gonna sell it to me," Joey said.

"You guys had a fun childhood," Chandler said.

"We did, we really did," Joey said.

It was kinda fun sitting there, reliving the past. They kept reliving until Alli the waitress soon stopped by and she, Joey and Kristi retreated to Joey's bedroom while Ross, Tyler and Chandler went to go play Red Bull pong on the roof. It was indeed a very successful bachelor party.

When Joey had accepted the part of Private Tony in the World War 1 movie, Over There, he had told them that he had needed 19th of May off. It was important. He was officiating Monica and Chandler's wedding. He had prepared and had written a speech. He had worked so hard and he had not wanted to be on the set. He was told he could have the 19th off but he needed to come on the night of the 18th, the rehearsal dinner.

"You have to go back now?" Ross asked.

They had returned from the rehearsal dinner and Joey quickly grabbed his garment bag and everything he would need to hopefully change into his tux and go straight from the set to the wedding. Ross was going to sleep in his room or on the couch and hang out with Chandler.

"Yeah. I'll probably try and nap in my dressing room or something. I'll just have to go straight to the wedding. They wanna do some night shoots and….I don't know, some crap about lighting," Joey said, opening the fridge and grabbing food to put in an extra backpack. If it was going to be an all night shoot, he would need to bring snacks. As he was reaching for some grapes, he noticed something weird. He had recently bought a six pack of beer and he was pretty sure he had not had one. He looked up towards Rachel's room where Chandler was staying. Ross was still rambling on about something. Joey could feel his blood starting to boil but he had to get to the set. Maybe he was wrong? Maybe Rachel had a beer or Phoebe? It couldn't have been Chandler.

"You alright?" Ross asked.

Joey shook his head. Realizing now Ross was just staring at him. Joey grabbed a few more things and stuffed his backpack until it was difficult to close.

"Yeah, just filling up my snack bag," Joey said.

"Don't they have craft services on the set?" Ross asked.

"Yeah," Joey said, "see you tomorrow."

Joey said as he walked out the door. It was Rachel. Rachel had to have taken his beer. It wouldn't have been Chandler. Would he really be that dumb? He continued down the flights of stairs and headed to the set, still thinking about Chandler and that beer. He refused to think that Chandler had fallen off the wagon. That made no sense that he would, it had been a rough three months and Chandler had gone to therapy, he had gone to AA meetings every single night? Would he really have fallen off the wagon?

While he wasn't quite sure if Chandler had fallen off the wagon, he was pretty sure his co-star had. Richard Crosby was playing another soldier and had arrived obliterated to the set and he kept drinking. The hours kept on ticking by and he remained in his dressing room. As he flipped through his script for the millionth time, his cell phone rang. He grabbed it, secretly hoping it was another actor coming to take his place.

"Hello?" Joey asked.

"Hey, it's me….is Chandler with you?" Ross asked.

"Why would Chandler be with me?"

"Yes….we're playing a game."

"Where's Chandler?"

"Nowhere."

"He ran out?" Joey asked.

"Yeah. He's disappeared."

"I'm gonna kill him," Joey said.

"No, no...I mean, I might. I don't know."

"He's been doing so well. He was sober for two months. When did this happen?"

"Right after the rehearsal dinner. I think. Do not tell Monica. Phoebe and Rachel are with her. I'm gonna find him."

Ross hung up and Joey looked at his phone. He thought of the missing beer in his fridge. Chandler did steal the beer. That was the only explanation. Was Chandler really that stupid? How could Chandler run out? How could he be such an idiot? They had spent three months making sure he was okay, that he would not die in his own vomit. Joey had really begun trusting him again. He had tried to convince Monica to unclench. He dialed again and got Chandler's voicemail.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously, are this big of a dumbass. I can't-where the fuck are you? I am going to be marrying you tomorrow and you sure as hell better be there or we are done. I will never speak to you again. You fucking piece of shit, I will track you down. I am done. This is fucking ridiculous. Wherever the hell you are, you better be there tomorrow," Joey said before hanging up.

He wondered if he should tell Monica? Or maybe call Rachel or Phoebe? He grabbed his script again and began flipping through it. He needed to concentrate. Chandler would be found. He needed to work on his part, he needed to act.

"Joe," one of the PA's knocked at his door.

"What?"

"Yeah, we're gonna shoot some of your stuff now. You ready for hair and make up."

"Yeah," Joey said, getting up and walking out. He needed to concentrate on his job, this was what he was paid to do. He could not get wrapped up in anything else. He was an actor, he was at work. He would just have to hope Ross would find Chandler in time.


	51. Chapter 51

**May 2001**

He was woken up the next morning with a loud groan. He had finally finished shooting at around six am and woke up at ten with a PA shaking him awake. He opened his eyes and stared at the young looking PA who looked way too bright eyed and bushy tailed for being up all night.

"What?"

"Your call sheet? You need to be on the set in an hour," the PA said.

"But I'm not working today," Joey said.

"There was a change. You need to be on the set in an hour," the PA said before practically skipping out of the room. Joey kept trying to catch his breath, he needed to be at Monica and Chandler's wedding in a few hours. Although, was there still a wedding? He wasn't sure anymore. He reached for his phone and quickly dialed Ross but instead got his voicemail and hung up. He got up and ran out of his dressing room in search of Mark, the director. He found Mark going over some notes with the director of photography.

"Mark," Joey said, approaching him.

"Joe, you need something?" Mark asked.

"I'm not supposed to be working today. I'm officiating a wedding. I can't-"

"There were some changes in the schedule. You'll be in and out-"

"I have to go," Joey said.

"I'm sorry. We need this shot, it's one scene," Mark said, before turning back to continue talking to the director of photography. This could not be happening. As he walked back to his dressing room, he noticed Richard Crosby stumbling out of his dressing room. How was he hammered already? It was ten in the morning.

"Dude, we gotta shoot today. How are you drunk?" Joey asked.

"'Cause I drank," Richard said, stumbling off.

Joey was starting to get nervous. He was supposed to shoot? What about Chandler? He still had no clue if they had found him. He tried to call Ross again but it went to voicemail. He tried Phoebe and Rachel, both calls went straight to voicemail. He wanted to try again but that overly cheerful PA came by to get him. He was needed on set.

He wasn't sure where Richard Crosby was finding this booze but he seemed to be getting drunker and drunker which kept delaying everything. Even worse, he wasn't even sure if there would still be a wedding to officiate. There was a lunch break and he still could not get a hold of anyone and he still could not get off the set and he wanted to somehow find the bottles that Richard Crosby was drinking and smash them over his head. Joey had no clue where he was getting these bottles.

Finally, about a half hour before the wedding was scheduled to begin, he was able to reach Rachel. She seemed a little sad when she picked up the phone, but he ignored it. He needed to know about Chandler.

"Yeah, Ross found him. He's here. Where are you?" Rachel asked.

"On the set," Joey said.

"Wait….what? You're supposed to be here in like a half hour?"

"I know, I know...I just-I-my co-star is obliterated. I think he's sweating booze and then drinking it."

"Great, now I need to go find another minister."

"Wait, Rachel-"

"I gotta go."

Rachel hung up and Joey looked at the phone. No, he needed to marry Chandler and Monica. That was his role, that was what he had wanted to do. Yes, he was furious at Chandler and he would figure out what the hell had happened but he needed to be there. He walked out of his dressing room and into Richard Crosby's and that's when he came up with the idea. He knew Richard had a driver and maybe he'd get in trouble but Richard was in no condition to shoot anything so he told Richard it was time to go home. He ended up carrying Richard out towards his car and then waved him off. He then walked back in and waited for Mark to realize Richard was gone and once Joey got the okay, he raced off the set and took a cab to the ceremony. He was still in his soldier's uniform and realized he had left everything back at the dressing room. It didn't matter, he needed to get to that wedding. He ran in just as a Greek Orthodox minister was beginning the ceremony. He saw Monica and Chandler at the front, Ross, Rachel and Phoebe, everyone staring at him as he ran towards the front. He was so flustered, so overwhelmed, he could barely catch his breath.

"Okay, I'm sorry I'm late," Joey said after excusing the minister, "I'm-I-my outfit will eventually make sense when you see my movie, Over There, in theaters in May 2002 and-"

"Joey," Chandler said.

"Yes, that's right. Let's get this on the road before you run off again, right Chan," Joey said before realizing what he just said. He hoped Monica hadn't heard but he was pretty sure she had. He looked over at Ross who simply motioned for him to continue, "uhhh…..okay, we-we are gathered here today to join in the marriage of Chandler Bing and Monica Geller in holy matrimony and um-I have left all of my notes in my dressing room so let's just go to the vows, Monica-"

Joey took another breath, he had to breathe as he looked at Monica. He needed to compose himself. He had a lot to say. He watched as Monica composed herself and began.

"Chandler, for so long I wondered if I would ever find my prince. I wondered when it would be my turn. I met you in 1987 and since then I knew, somehow I knew that my prince was also my best friend. For so long, I tried to ignore it, deny it but three years ago, I could no longer run and when I stopped, I realized that everything I had ever wanted had been right there the whole time. You have been what I have been looking for. My soul mate, my prince, my favorite jokester….my best friend and as we go forward into the future, I know we will be able to conquer anything that arises. We have conquered so much already and we are stronger because of it and I cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives together, as husband and wife. Unless you don't want to, you are free to go," Monica said, glaring at him.

Joey grinned at Chandler who simply shook his head. He motioned for Chandler to begin his vows. Ross tapped Chandler on the shoulder but Chandler brushed him off. Joey was curious how Chandler would save this.

"I...I have made many mistakes in life. I've said the wrong the things, done the wrong things...acted too quickly or didn't act at all. But the one thing I am certain of is that you are the woman that I meant to be with. You are the person who makes me better than I ever thought I could possibly be. You make me work harder. You came into my life in 1987 and have never left. Without you, I'm not much of anything. With you, I am complete. There is no one else I want to be with, no one else I want to laugh with, grow old with or be with because as they say when you know, you know and I know. You're it for me, Monica and I've never been more sure of anything. I love you and I will always love you and whatever surprises come our way, I will still love you. Yeah, I'm sure. You're my Sally."

Monica smiled, her eyes filling with tears as Chandler leaned in to kiss her. Joey had to wonder how Chandler always managed to do that. He was very good at smoothing things over. Although, they really weren't supposed to kiss just yet.

"Okay, enough of that….uh…are...rings, damn….okay, Chandler-"

Chandler laughed as Ross handed him Monica's ring. Joey was still flustered. He really had so much wonderful stuff to say and he felt like he was completely blowing it. He hated Richard Crosby.

"Chandler, repeat after me," Joey said trying to remember the words, "Monica, I give you this ring as a symbol as of our vows and with this ring I thee wed."

"Monica, I give you this ring as a symbol as of our vows and with this ring I thee wed," Chandler said.

"Okay, Monica repeat after me," Joey said as Rachel handed Monica the ring, "Chandler, I give you this ring as a symbol as of our vows and with this ring I thee wed."

"Chandler, I give you this ring as a symbol as of our vows and with this ring I thee wed," Monica said.

"Okay, Chandler…..do you take Monica to be your wife, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" Joey asked.

"I do," Chandler said.

"Do you Monica take Chandler to be your husband, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" Joey asked.

"I do," Monica said.

"Cool….so now, with the power invested in me and….and I just want to say how thrilled I am and how honored I am to be doing this for two of the best people I've ever known so with the power invested in me and the State of New York. I know pronounce you husband and wife. You gonna kiss her?" Joey asked.

"Yep," Chandler said as he leaned in and kissed Monica. Joey had gotten through it. He wasn't sure how successful he had been but he had survived and his two best friends were officially husband and wife. He would have to talk with Chandler later. That missing beer? Where had Chandler gone?

After the ceremony, the other four walked out and to give Chandler and Monica some time. Joey wanted answers. What the hell had happened?

"Where did you find him? Why did he run?" Joey asked.

"He was at his childhood home, he was watching movies," Ross said.

"I'm no longer his friend," Phoebe said.

"Pheebs," Ross said.

"No, this is ridiculous," Phoebe said.

"Guys, let's yell at him later, okay. Let's just….let's enjoy today and worry about tomorrow….tomorrow," Rachel said.

"I agree," Ross said as the four turned towards the room where the ceremony had been. They walked in and saw Monica and Chandler talking. The six stood together, now a different group of six.

"I can't believe this. It's amazing. You're married," Rachel said.

"I know. We're married," Monica said.

"And...okay, I wanna say something. I'm an asshole. I am so grateful and lucky to have each one of you. Please know that and I am so sorry for what I pulled today. I love this woman," Chandler said giving Monica a kiss. "I got scared not because of committing but...because I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you, Mon-"

"You're not losing me. I promise you. It doesn't matter how badly you fuck up...I'm in this. I'm not leaving this marriage. You are my husband. The fact that you could run off before the wedding and I still married you, that's your proof," Monica said.

"Thank you and to the rest of you...Phoebe, Joey, Ross, Rachel...I am so, so sorry. I promise to get my head out of my ass and be far more grateful that I have friends like you and thanks for not giving up on me. Thank you for being there these last three months. Thank you for always being there. I know I have not made it easy...I want you guys to be okay with me again," Chandler said.

"We are. We always will be...it's just...can you please start making it easier for us to be your friend...'cause that would really help us out," Rachel said.

"Yeah. That would," Joey said.

"I will do my best," Chandler said.

"Alright...now, can we please celebrate?" Monica asked. Chandler agreed.

And celebrate they would. Rachel was right, there was time to discuss the other drama. Now was a time for dancing, for speeches, for everything to be about Mondler and maybe his officiating. He did feel a little guilty. He really had rushed through everything.

"Hey, good job by the way," Chandler said, approaching him as the group began to make their way to the reception.

"Sorry. I know, I was late and I-"

"It's okay. You were there and by the way, I got your message," Chandler said.

Joey cringed remembering his voicemail to Chandler. Yeah, he hadn't been kind.

"I'm sorry...it's just what the hell, man? Seriously, you're gonna run out on Mon?" Joey asked. "After everything?"

"I can't lose her. I just….I mean, what if….what if she figures out she can do better?" Chandler asked.

"What if she already did and is sticking with you anyway," Joey said.

"Or," Monica said, approaching them and linking one arm in Chandler's and the other in Joey's, "what if we stop saying I can do better than Chandler? I mean, that's kinda insulting for both of us….in fact can we all stop saying that? I mean...Chandler is funny, smart, protective, sweet, generous, talented, looks incredibly hot in a suit. How can I do better?"

"Thanks, Mon," Chandler said.

"You're welcome," Monica said, kissing him and turning towards all of them, "I really do hate that when you say I can do better than Chandler, so can we please stop. It's the worst thing to say. 'Cause to me...this man is incredible and I am so lucky and so honored that he has chosen to spend the rest of his life with me."

"Feeling is mutual. I'm sorry," Chandler said.

"I know, I know sweetie...I get it. And Joey….thank for today. I know you were flustered….let's just have a good time."

They all headed into the reception where the party began. Joey watched Chandler and Monica danced together and he had to agree with Monica. They had to stop making those jokes. They had to stop saying either one could do better because watching them, he didn't think either could.

When it was time for speeches, Joey watched as Rachel and Phoebe gave their speeches and quickly wrote out some notes on a piece of paper he had gotten from the hotel lobby. He really had forgotten everything on set. When he got up, he was a little nervous.

"Alright, what can I say about my buddy, Chandler that hasn't already been said. Probably a lot but I probably shouldn't say it, right?," Joey said as he looked at Chandler and Monica sitting together, "I actually met Chandler the day that apparently he covered Rachel's car with peanut butter. He showed up randomly at my Halloween party and even then I remember, he seemed like a good guy. He was my wing man. Years later, when we became roommates, I thought he was gay. Jury is still out...just kidding. Chandler is more than a best friend to me, he's my brother. I never had brothers and he's an only child so when we became roommates, I think our age stunted at like twelve. We had a lot of fun as roommates...probably way too much fun and dude, anytime you wanna come over and watch _Baywatch_ and play video games, you know where to find me. In addition to everything he did for Phoebe, he has also supported my acting career. Done everything...also, a lot of you know Chandler's been through a lot...he's dealt with a lot and he's shown that he's got a hell of a lot of strength. I'm so proud of you, man. You've come a long way and...I'm thrilled to call you family. Also, and I know I forgot a lot of what I had to say today but Monica and Chandler, looking at the two of you….I've never seen either one of you so happy and together, you work and looking at you two, I know this is gonna last forever. You're an unstoppable team and always stronger together. I love you both more than you know. Congratulations."

Chandler walked over to Joey and hugged him. He love this guy, loved Chandler. It didn't matter what he had done, it didn't matter what issues had come up, Chandler was his brother, his best friend.

"Thanks, Joe," Chandler said.

"Anytime, brother," Joey said.

"Chanoey, forever," Chandler said.

"Jandler, asshole."

"It's my wedding, Chanoey," Chandler said.

"Mon," Chandler said.

"Mondler trumps Jandler/Chanoey. Go sit down," Monica said.

Joey laughed as he walked back to his seat as Ross stood up to make his speech. Sitting there watching Monica and Chandler, he felt like they really had always been together. They both truly lifted each other and made each other better. Monica couldn't do better. Chandler calmed her down better than anyone he had ever known. Chandler knew how to ease her worries, protect her and say the things that could bring Monica down from whatever ledge she was on. Richard couldn't do that. Chandler could. Chandler was her better half. Monica protected Chandler as well, they both just were so good at talking each other down. They really were an unbeatable team. They were a true When Harry Met Sally story.

After the speeches, Joey approached Chandler and Ross. He overheard them talking about Gandalf. Joey had seen him walk in and had seen him talking to Chandler, Monica and Ross and then watched as he walked out.

"You kicked him out?" Joey asked.

"I did. I don't need him here," Chandler said.

"How are you doing? Not drinking at your wedding?" Joey asked.

"I'm okay. Today, it's easy."

Joey cocked his head to the side. He wondered if Chandler knew he knew. He wanted answers though. He wanted to know if he called Chandler out, would he tell the truth.

"You took a beer, didn't you? From my fridge?" Joey asked.

"Did you tell him?" Chandler asked, looking at Ross.

"No, I just knew what I had. I had a six pack of beer...one was missing," Joey said.

"Amazing. Alright...I fell off the wagon. But I'm back on," Chandler said.

"Good," Joey said, that anger slowly melting away. The truth. That was all he wanted from Chandler. He admitted he fell off. He admitted his mistake. That would be enough.

"And thank you for the speeches gentlemen, hope to one day return the favor," Chandler said.

"You like being married so far?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, so far so good. I'm planning on this being the last time I do this but you know…" Chandler said.

"Very funny, hey I was talking to Mona over there. She works with Monica. I did not ask her to marry me," Ross smirked.

"Whoa," Joey said.

"He's growing," Chandler said.

"Shut up of both you...why am I friends with you two?" Ross asked.

"Because we keep you from collapsing under the weight of your own ego," Chandler said.

"That's probably true," Ross mused which made both Chandler and Joey laugh, "but hey, at least I know I'll be on marriage number four before Joey here gets to number one."

"Well, duh...yeah," Joey said.

"Now, now Joe. Give yourself some credit. I think you'll be on marriage number one before Ross is on his fifth or sixth marriage," Chandler said.

"I would say probably around my fifth. I'll say fifth," Ross said.

"Thank you," Joey said.

They were still laughing and messing with each other when someone came over to tell Chandler to let him know it was time to cut the cake. Chandler left the two of them to get Monica.

"So, you wanna take a bet?" Joey asked.

"I'm not betting when my next marriage is," Ross said.

"No, not that. Do you think Chandler's gonna smash the cake in Mon's face?" Joey asked.

"Hmmm, interesting. Maybe. Let's check with the girls. They should be in on this," Ross said as the two walked towards Phoebe and Rachel.

"Twenty bucks says he smashes her in the face with the cake," Joey said.

"Oh no...he already knows he's in trouble over what happened earlier. He wouldn't do that. She'd kill him," Phoebe said.

They watched closely as Monica and Chandler cut the cake. Joey let out a laugh as he watched Chandler carefully feed Monica cake as if he were trying to dismantle a bomb or something. He was being so careful not to drop a crumb on her dress, on the floor, anywhere. He was a little disappointed that Chandler had not smashed the cake in Monica's face but he understood.

"Oh, G-d...I know that look," Rachel whispered.

"Me too," Ross said.

Joey looked at them and then back at Monica who was grinning. She raised an eyebrow, ran her tongue over her teeth as she stared directly at Chandler. She picked up a big handful of cake and proceeded to smash it in Chandler's face. Chandler began laughing as the other four cheered. It was yet another reason he loved Monica. You could never count her out. Sure she could be uptight and competitive and wound very tightly but she could play just as well any of the others.

"I can play," Monica said as the two kissed.

Chandler retaliated by picking up a slice and smashing it Monica's face. The others laughed as Monica and Chandler shared cake covered kisses. How could any of them ever doubt them? After the newly married couple went off to dance, Joey grabbed Phoebe's hand. His partner. He knew Phoebe was still pissed.

"So I was thinking," Joey said, as he held Phoebe close to him and the danced slowly together, "Monica was right."

"About what?"

"We should probably stop saying Monica's too good for Chandler or Monica can do better."

"Why? It's true?" Phoebe asked.

"Look at them," Joey said as he motioned towards them, dancing. Chandler was saying something and Monica was laughing. Chandler was beaming as he held Monica and was seemingly trying his best to crack her up and it was working.

"He left. He ran out on the wedding. He vanished...he... you don't get it. I've had so many people leave. Chandler just leaves and comes back and then we all forgive him. I can't do that. He promised me when I first moved in….I don't hate him, I don't….it's hard for me to forgive him."

"I know. He loves you though. His whole reasoning for doing that stand up was to get you to laugh. He didn't care if the rest of us were there, he just wanted you there."

"He….I'm angry. I'm angry at him. I need more time."

"I get it."

Joey kissed Phoebe on the top of the head as he continued holding her. He understood her. He knew Phoebe would not forgive as easily as the rest of them did and while he got it, it still made him a little sad. He wanted Chandler and Phoebe to be friends again. He wanted her to let go.

The next morning, post wedding, they met up with the other four for brunch. Monica had wanted to celebrate post wedding with the rest of them so she had planned a brunch just for them. They sat, drinking coffee, powering their way their way through French toast and waffles and mimosas. Joey felt some sort of tension lingering amongst them but he wasn't sure what it was from. What could be wrong now? They should be happy.

"Can we talk about it now?" Monica asked, letting out a sigh as she looked at Rachel. Joey looked up, very confused.

"About what?" Rachel asked.

"Rach," Monica said.

"But….it's still your weekend. We're still in the midst of the Monica celebrations," Rachel grinned.

"Wait….shouldn't it be the Monica and Chandler celebrations?" Chandler asked.

"No," Monica said.

Chandler let out a laugh and placed his arm around Monica, kissing her. Did something happen with Rachel? What was happening? Did she sleep with Chandler's dad again?

"Monica-" Rachel started.

"No, besides Ross told me this morning," Monica said.

"What? You did?" Rachel asked, looking at him.

"I had to, I'm sorry….I just...I had to say something. I went to their room when you were getting ready this morning," Ross said.

"I wish you hadn't done that," Rachel said.

"I had to say something," Ross said.

"No, you didn't," Rachel said. "It's my decision and I wanted to try and keep it secret until after this weekend."

Joey looked at Ross and Rachel. He looked around the table. Monica had a mimosa, Phoebe, Ross, Joey had one. Chandler had coffee and some orange juice but when his eyes fell on Rachel's plate, he noticed she was not drinking anything. It clicked. Rachel was pregnant?

"Well, I mean...we all kinda knew," Phoebe said. "You confirmed it to me."

"I didn't know. You knocked her up?" Joey asked, looking over at Ross.

"Classy, Joe. I know you knew but...let's-I just- I don't wanna discuss this now," Rachel said, "please, I want to keep this about Chandler and Monica. Although, Chandler why didn't you tell me Sophie passed away."

"I-well-you're pregnant," Chandler offered.

"You're weird," Rachel said.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. We'll visit her. I promise," Chandler said.

"Thank you," Rachel said.

"Look, I appreciate you not wanting to tell us or not confirm it right now but we do all kind of know. Let's just discuss it," Monica said.

"Fine….I am pregnant. Ross and I are going to have a child," Rachel said, letting out an annoyed sigh.

"Are you getting married? 'Cause I know how to do that," Joey said, trying to make the situation lighter.

"No, no marriage although, that's only what I want….who knows, Ross may have already gotten us a marriage license in the last twenty four hours," Rachel said.

"Why are you mad?" Ross asked.

"Because it's so typical of you Ross. You never asked if I had told Monica or Chandler or if anyone knew so you went completely over my head and made the decisions without asking me. Yes, I confirmed it to Phoebe but I hadn't confirmed to anyone else," Rachel said, motioning to the rest of the group.

"They were going to find out eventually," Ross said.

"And why couldn't I have been the one to make that choice. I especially didn't want Monica and Chandler knowing right now because this weekend is still supposed to be about them," Rachel said.

"It's okay, Rach. Hey, you're pregnant. At least for the next nine months, I can have a non-drinking buddy," Chandler said.

"I'm going to be an aunt. It can still be about me," Monica said as she reached for Rachel's hand and squeezed it.

"Yeah, yeah and now, when we have our weekly lunches….we can choose all the bad, fattening places to eat. The ones I always recommend and you refuse to go to? Oh, nine months without having to go somewhere that has menu items like kale or…queef-wah?" Chandler sounded confused.

"It's pronounced keen-wah," Rachel corrected him.

"It's gonna be amazing. I can make it about me too. Nine months of bacon cheeseburgers and chili cheese fries," Chandler mused.

"Wait….no," Monica said, giving him a look.

"I'm just gonna help Rachel out," Chandler argued.

"By clogging your arteries and giving yourself a heart attack at thirty two?" Monica asked.

"Well, you know I'm trying to give more to my friends," Chandler said, "it's the thirteenth step."

Monica playfully elbowed him as Rachel laughed. Joey kept trying to comprehend this new development. His roommate was now pregnant? When had she and Ross had sex? He tried to do the math in his head but it gave him a headache.

"Thanks, guys….and Chandler, we cannot have bacon cheeseburgers every week," Rachel said.

"Nachos," Chandler remarked.

"Oooo, tempting," Rachel said. "But can we not….now...I really, I just….you two got married yesterday. You're gonna go on your honeymoon, you're going to Turks and Caicos. I'm jealous. Let's talk about that."

"Okay, we can….just Pheebs, you can't invite yourself on this trip," Chandler teased.

"Bite me," Phoebe retorted.

Chandler leaned in towards Phoebe to playfully bite her shoulder which elicited laughter from the rest of the group. Leave it to Chandler to make things a little lighter again. Phoebe was also trying. It was strangely new. Monica and Chandler were married. Ross and Rachel were having a baby. Everything was changing and he was starting to feel that familiar feeling again. He felt stuck. Completely stuck. Yes, he was happy with his soap but he was thirty three and for the first time he was beginning to wonder what it might be like to have someone of his own? Monica and Chandler had each other, despite whatever drama Ross and Rachel had, they seemed destined for each other and while Phoebe was his partner in crime it seemed like they would never really move past being friends with benefits. So was it time for Joey to think about it? Maybe?


	52. Chapter 52

**January 2002**

When the cab pulled up to his parent's house, he was a little stunned to see Adriana walking towards him. His parents were throwing him a thirty fourth birthday party so his family was at his parent's house in Queens. He wondered why Adriana was walking alone and why she looked so upset. He figured maybe Christopher had pissed her off somehow.

"You okay?" Joey asked as he stopped her in front of his house.

"I've had a really rough day," Adriana said, looking down at the sidewalk. He looked up at his house, then grabbed her hand and walked her away farther down the street.

"What's going on?" Joey asked.

Just then Adriana burst into tears, sobbing hysterically on the sidewalk. Joey looked around, alarmed. He hugged her as she was shaking, it reminded him a bit of Rachel. So he kept thinking of the things that made Rachel cry and maybe he could figure out why Adriana was crying? In his head, he began a list of the reasons Rachel cried and they were: fights with Ross, Ross in general, pregnancy hormones, Chandler on drugs or when he was on drugs, puppies, videos of cute animals doing cute things, Brian, running out weddings….although, that only happened the one time….Monica and Chandler's wedding, although that also only happened the one time, listening to Phoebe tell any story about her life, sad movies, scary movies, romantic comedies, that stupid commercial with animals in cages even though he had told her many times that the animal in cages commercials would not make her cry if she changed the damn channel, when she found out about her Uncle Rick molesting children, also that too only happened the one time... good things happening to her or to her friends, bad things happening to her or her friends. He soon landed on the simple fact that Rachel cried too much and he would never be able to use that to figure out why Adriana was upset.

"You fight with Ross?" Joey asked.

Adriana looked at him, confused as she cocked her head to the side. It was worth a shot.

"What?"

"Never mind," Joey said.

"I-I had a really rough day," Adriana said.

"If you change the channel, the stupid commercials with the animals in cages won't make you cry," Joey said.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Adriana asked.

"Sorry, my friend Rachel cries a lot."

"Yeah, I don't think she's ever cried for this reason, just guessing."

"Well, tell me what's wrong and I'll let you know."

"I'm an FBI Informant," Adriana said, letting out a long breath.

"Okay, yeah, Rachel's never cried because of that….what?" Joey asked.

"I was becoming friends with this-"

"Wait, are you wired now?"

"Joey, I just you told I was an informant so no….I'm not wired, see," Adriana said lifting up her shirt to give Joey a look before putting her shirt back down.

"Okay," Joey said, "now...what?"

"I met this woman and I thought we were friends, turns out….she works for the FBI and I need to give them information about the Sopranos and everything or else they'll throw me in prison and….okay, after Big Pussy died-"

"Wait, he died?" Joey asked, ignoring the name. Yes, if he had been playing with Ross and Chandler the jokes would be endless but something told him that he shouldn't be making the jokes now. Big Pussy or Sal as Joey remembered him was one of Tony Soprano's best friends from childhood. Joey knew he had been out of that world for a long time but had he really not realized this. Sal had died? How come no one had told him?

"Tony killed him after realizing he was an informant and shot him and threw overboard."

"But that's Tony's best friend. They've been friends since they were kids."

"Yeah but guess….I don't….but I have to get info because then they'll throw me in prison."

"Why?"

"See, they wanted to go after you, Joey. But they couldn't….I guess you got to one of the cops and….everything was old and-"

"Officer Gary," Joey remembered.

"Yeah, I don't know but they couldn't get to you because they'd have to admit that one of the officers had illegally obtained information on a friend of yours to fuck her-"

"Oh my G-d," Joey could not believe what he was hearing. It was all true. He remembered sitting there in the back of the police car, Gary trying to desperately to get info out of him. "But what do they have on you?"

"Drugs. They know….Christopher sells cocaine out of my nightclub. My nightclub is a front for drugs. So my options are being a mole or prison."

"Do they know you're here?"

"No. No….I don't think so," Adriana said.

"Man….and he killed Sal."

"Tony did, yeah."

"But that's his best friend….he put a bullet in his best friend?" Joey said.

"Yeah," Adriana said.

That stunned him. He and Adriana hugged before turning and walking back towards his house. Tony had killed his childhood best friend? He thought of Chandler and Ross and wondered if he could ever put a bullet in one of them, even if they had betrayed him. He knew the answer, of course not. Chandler has fucked him over sleeping with his sister and all the lying, so much lying from hiding his drug addiction but it didn't matter, he still considered Chandler a loyal friend. Even when Chandler pissed him off, he couldn't actually hurt him, let alone kill him.

Walking into the house, he was immediately enveloped by his mom. He watched Adriana walk off towards Christopher as Gloria turned her son's face towards her.

"I can't believe I have a thirty four year old son," Gloria said.

"But you don't, you have a twenty one year old son."

"Awww, you know what I want from you?"

"What?"

"A daughter in law and another grandchild."

"Ma."

"No, Joey….your father and I are so proud of you and now, it's time, don't you think?"

"I'm-I like being a bachelor. It's fun, I have a lot of sex," Joey said.

"Why did I need to know that?" Gloria asked.

"So you can get grossed out and end this conversation," Joey said.

"Big brother," Dina said, walking up to him and hugging him.

"Are you going to tell him?" Gloria asked, glaring a little at Dina. Joey felt a little uncomfortable looking at his eighteen year old sister, wondering what she wanted to say. Dina simply took his hand and walked him into another room in the house where he saw Meadow sitting on the couch.

"Meadow, you're here. I haven't heard from you in a long time. How's Columbia? How's Jackie Jr?" Joey asked, as he sat with Dina on the couch. He hadn't spoken to Meadow in almost nine months. With Chandler and Monica' wedding and Rachel and Ross expecting a baby, it had been a busy time.

"Columbia's good and Jackie Jr. is dead because my father killed him...or ordered a hit, we aren't sure yet," Meadow said.

"Excuse me?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, see Tony was trying to keep Jackie Jr. from joining the mob, he joined and Tony killed him," Dina said.

"Wow," Joey said.

"You should really hang out with us more often. My dad is here but I'm still not talking to him really and oh, my brother got expelled from school," Meadow said.

"And I'm pregnant," Dina said.

"What?" Joey asked, looking at Dina and then back at Meadow. There was so much to comprehend, he wasn't sure where to begin. "You're pregnant?"

"Yeah," Dina said.

"You're eighteen….and wait, how-who's the dad?" Joey asked.

"Bobby," Dina said.

"Who's Bobby?" Joey asked.

"My boyfriend," Dina said.

"Are you gonna marry him? 'Cause I know how to do that," Joey said.

"No, Joe-"

"And wait AJ got expelled?" Joey asked.

"Yes. See, these are the things you miss when you ditch your own family," Meadow said.

"I didn't ditch my family," Joey said. "How are you gonna raise this child?"

"I am. Bobby and I will raise the baby and….it's gonna be good and he'll have his uncle Joey, right?" Dina asked.

"You can't raise a child," Joey said.

"Yes, I can. Look, I'm gonna make this work," Dina said.

"I gotta….I don't know…." Joey said getting up and walking out of the room. He was trying so desperately to process everything he had learned since he had arrived at his parents. Adriana working for the FBI? Tony had killed Sal and Jackie Jr.? He had remembered Sal. He remembered being young and going with Sal, Tony, Christopher and some other boys and stealing stuff from that creepy convenience store. He saw Tony drinking a beer and looked like he was surveying the party.

"Hey, happy birthday. What are you fifty now?" Tony asked.

"Funny….hey, you know who I was thinking about the other day? Sal. Big Pussy? Remember him? Whatever happened to him?" Joey asked.

Tony looked at him, his face blank as Joey kept watching him for clues.

"I heard he moved….somewhere overseas," Tony said, drinking his beer.

"And Jackie Jr….Meadow's boyfriend….or ex...what's going on with him?" Joey asked.

Tony let out a long, drawn breath as he brought his beer to his mouth and drank. He took a step closer to Joey and stared at him. Joey could see the flash of anger in Tony's eyes and he knew. Joey knew.

"What are you trying to get at?" Tony asked, his voice low and controlled.

"Did you kill them? Are they still alive?" Joey asked.

Tony stepped away from him and motioned for Joey to follow him outside. When they stepped outside, Tony set his beer down and immediately grabbed Joey pushing him up against the side of the house and pulling his arms behind him. Tony leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"Listen, motherfucker, don't get involved in things you don't want to know shit about. This isn't your world now, stay the fuck out of it, Ms. Hollywood," Tony said.

He let go of Joey and Joey stretched out his arms. Tony had held too tight but it was cold out so perhaps his layers prevented bruising? He sat on his front porch steps and looked up at Tony. He remembered being little and sitting on those same steps telling Tony about the guy who died at Umbertos. He was so excited.

"You killed your childhood best friend," Joey said. "I don't get it. I won't rat you out, you know me….but you did, didn't you?"

Tony shook his head and sat next to him. He let out a sigh as he looked at Joey and then back out into the night.

"I had to. He betrayed me," Tony said. "He was gonna rat me out."

"My best friend was addicted to painkillers and alcohol and lied to me about it for over a year, he slept with Mary Angela while bombed out of his mind and didn't even remember, he forgot to give me a message of an audition change for MAC and Cheese, he kissed my girlfriend once and yet…when I go home tonight, I'll probably see him on his couch snuggling with his wife.

"It's a little different."

"No...do you miss him?"

"Of course."

"No matter how angry I get at Chandler or Ross or...I'd miss 'em if they weren't there. How could you-"

"You don't get it."

"You got rid of Jackie Jr. too, didn't you?"

"I ordered it, I didn't actually kill him. I was protecting him. I didn't want him mixed up in this world and he was getting mixed up in it. Look, I'm proud of you kid. I'm proud you got out but when you got out, you left shit behind and if you don't want to know that shit-"

"You know, I have a friend who said once that it must be really scary to live like you. Can't trust anyone….although you trust me?"

"Well, yeah, you've proven loyal besides who are you gonna tell in the village. I know who you hang out with now."

"Yeah, but I keep thinking she has a point. It must be terrifying to live like you. Always looking over your shoulder, the walls about to cave in….you killed your best friend. I mean, fuck, I don't even think I could kill Christopher….I've wanted to….don't you get scared?"

"I'm in too deep, kid," Tony said.

"And what about Jackie Jr….wasn't he like eighteen, nineteen?" Joey asked.

"He flunked out of Rutgers," Tony said.

"You killed a kid."

"He was wrapped up in some bad shit, he was getting in too deep and I couldn't protect him anymore and I didn't kill him."

"You protected me."

"Well, you needed it. I knew you were gonna end up somewhere else."

"Shit, you killed off a nineteen year old kid?"

"I did not kill him."

"You ordered a hit on a nineteen year old. Fine….you know, my friends….they think it's so cool. Anytime someone annoys them they go, "can you kill 'em off?" I always think, fuck, if you only knew. Nineteen years old and what about AJ?"

"Thinking of sending him to military school. Kid needs a whack."

"I don't know what to say anymore. Are you a sociopath or a psychopath?" Joey asked.

"Do you even know those words mean?"

"I could look it up," Joey said.

"Hey," Kristi said as she walked towards the house. She was holding Ashley's hand. Ashley was now six as she looked at Joey, her eyes brightening as she ran towards him.

"Joey," Ashley yelled as she ran up the steps towards him and threw her tiny arms around his neck.

"Hey, kid. How you doin'?" Joey asked.

"Joey, she's six," Kristi said.

"Sometimes it means how are you," Joey said.

"Are you old, Joey?" Ashley asked.

"I'm old."

"I'm six and you know what, I had cookies before I came here," Ashley said.

"Very nice," Joey said.

"Let's go inside, it's cold out here," Kristi said.

Joey nodded as he lifted Ashley in his arms. He kept watching Tony as they walked inside. He watched as Tony walked over towards Adriana and Christopher. Adriana glanced over at Joey before looking back at Tony. He could almost see her shaking. He put Ashley down and she walked towards her mother. He noticed Dina still talking with Meadow. His little sister was pregnant? AJ walked over to them, beer in hand. No one was stopping him. AJ had been expelled? He could feel his heart start racing as he stood there in the middle of the party. He wanted Chandler and Monica, Rachel and Ross, Phoebe. They had become his home, his safety net. He truly no longer belonged there. When he got home that night, he went into Monica and Chandler's apartment and his heart felt lighter, so much lighter. There the five of them were. Monica curled up in Chandler's arms, Rachel curled up in Ross' and Phoebe sitting in the middle. They were watching The Godfather which made him laugh a little. He walked over to the couch and plopped down, sitting next to Phoebe who fell into him. He gently kissed her head as they watched. They asked about the party but there was nothing much for him to say or nothing he really wanted to say.

A few days later, he found himself on a date with Rachel. Rachel had complained to him about not being able to date anymore because she was so pregnant so he decided to take her out. His mind was still whirling from all the information he had learned at his parents that he thought maybe this would be a welcome release. He had never really been out with her alone, he realized. Yes, they were enjoying themselves as roommates but this was new, this was just them on a date or a pretend date. It was at a fancy place and they were getting lobster and steak and Rachel was again pumping him for answers. He should have known he was not going to be having a night off from Rachel's constant questions. She was always too curious.

"So okay….tell me more about your mafia ties," Rachel grinned as she snapped open a lobster.

"I really can't tell you these things. You can get yourself killed," Joey said, still thinking about what Adriana said, about what Tony said, about everything that had happened at his birthday. He wondered if maybe he should call Dina? He hadn't said much to her after finding out she was pregnant.

"They wouldn't kill a pregnant lady."

"Of course they would," Joey said, adding in his head the thought that if Tony could order a hit on a nineteen year old kid and kill his best friend, he could definitely order a hit on a pregnant woman. He was beginning to think Tony really had no limits. Maybe he was a sociopath or not? He wasn't entirely sure he knew what that meant.

"Well, that's mean."

"And you know, they are known for being a kind-hearted group."

"Tell me something, Joe."

He looked at her. He knew she thought of the mafia world like an episode of Days of Our Lives. He knew she thought it was like the movies. She didn't know how serious all of it was and he kinda wished he had her sense of fantasy about it. He thought maybe he could tell her something. Rachel really believed in the fantasy and he knew he could trust her.

"Okay, I will tell you one thing."

"Oooo, what?"

"My cousin's girlfriend is a good friend of mine. Her name is Adriana. She's hot and she confided in me that she may or may not be an FBI Informant. Her boyfriend is in the Sopranos. He's my uncle Tony's nephew," Joey said, trying to be vague but not sure he was succeeding.

"Oh my G-d."

"You can't say anything. I can't either. This is serious."

"I won't but what will happen if they find out."

"She...well, it won't be good," Joey said.

"So...okay. Your uncle is Tony Soprano."

"Yes."

"So you've met Tony Soprano."

"Many times. He's actually a really nice guy…..I mean, the whacking part aside. Definitely knows his way around a good BBQ," Joey said thinking Rachel knew all this or at least he thought she did. He wasn't sure what he had told her and what he hadn't but she kept wanting to know more.

"So you were in construction and the construction was a front."

"Yes."

"And you quit construction to be an actor and they let you quit? Just like that?" Rachel asked.

Joey let out a sigh. He put down his lobster and looked at her. He really wished she'd stop. This wasn't a television show to him. Sitting on the front porch of his house, listening to Tony tell him he killed his childhood best friend or that he hired a hit on a teenager, this wasn't a plot of a soap. He wondered how he could spin this. How could he make this story okay?

"Okay, Chandler is the only one that knows these things. Pheebs too. I was working in construction and I saw things and one day I….I saw someone get killed. I watched it. I watched this guy lose his life over...I don't even remember the amount, but I couldn't….I couldn't be part of that world. So I told my uncle and I told my parents that I couldn't be part of that. Watching someone lose their life right in front of me. I needed to leave. So I did. I moved in with Shane and some Swedish models and then I flew to Los Angeles and then….came home."

That was the shortened version. The version that sanitized so much of everything. It wasn't quite right chronologically but it didn't matter, that was the story.

"Wow. I couldn't see you being part of that," Rachel said.

"Neither could I," Joey said, before thinking of something else he could tell Rachel, maybe he could tell her this. This was a piece of information he had never told anyone and maybe Rachel would like this story. He knew he could trust her. "Okay, because you're feeling depressed, I do have a secret for you. No one knows this. Not even Chandler."

"Oh my G-d. A secret Chandler doesn't know? What about Phoebe?"

"She doesn't know either."

"Oh my," Rachel said.

He was debating whether or not to reveal this. After all, this was a big deal. This was a huge deal. He quickly went back and forth in his mind. Could he tell her? He could trust her. He could never tell Monica or Phoebe this and Rachel would know that.

"Remember when Chandler hooked up with my sister and didn't remember which one?"

"Yeah."

"I wasn't honest with you about what actually happened after."

"What?"

"My sister was pissed and orchestrated a hit. My Uncle Tony called me to inform me of the hit because he knew I was living with Chandler and he knew how pissed I was after what happened with Shane. He told me it was being orchestrated. I had to go down there with my sister and get the hit called off. I told him, he's an addict. He just got cheated on and dumped...he's in a bad place. Let me deal with it."

Joey watched as Rachel's eyes widened. He knew he was taking a big chance on trusting her. He had never really confided this much in Rachel.

"There was a hit?"

"Yep."

"Oh my G-d. Joey."

"I know but do not tell Chandler. I don't want him knowing that."

"You got it called off. I mean, you kinda saved his life."

"I still don't want him knowing that."

"I get it. You really love Chandler, don't you?" Rachel asked.

"He's my brother."

"It's sweet. I'm glad he's doing well. He's really trying."

"I'm happy….and I'm afraid if he found out how close he was to losing his life, he would fall off the wagon. He's doing too well," Joey said truthfully. He really just wanted Chandler to never discover this.

"He is. I'm proud of him. I'm also happy he's not sleeping with fishes. Can I ask you something? Why acting? Was it really to get out of joining the mob?"

"I liked it. I liked being someone else. It seemed fun and you know, you get laid," Joey said, grinning.

"Oh, Joey."

He wanted to change the subject. He wanted to lighten the mood and not think about Tony, about killing anyone. Rachel was depressed, he was still freaked and he wanted to simply lighten the mood.

"Question," Joey began, "if all six of us were on a boat and you could only save one person-"

"Not a fair question, Ross is the father of my child. I love Phoebe and Monica more than I do my biological sisters. Chandler's my gossip/lunch buddy and you're my roommate. Let's discuss something else. You and Pheebs. Friends with Benefits?"

"You know the answer."

"I want it confirmed."

"Yes," Joey said, although feeling slightly sad that he and Phoebe had not indulged in the benefits side of their friendship in quite some time.

"So Phoebe has kissed Chandler, made out with Ross and had sex with you. Go, Pheebs," Rachel grinned.

"Is she the only one of you girls that kissed everyone?" Joey asked.

"Yeah. Well, I made out with Chandler once. You cannot tell Ross or Monica. Chandler will kill me."

"When?"

"College. It was really quick. Mon and I went to visit Ross and Chandler and Mon and I got so drunk and we were being really mean to Chandler and he went into his room and I followed him in because I wanted to continue being mean and we kissed. It was super quick but it happened."

"Whoa and I won't tell," Joey said wondering if Chandler had ever told him?

"Good….so if you could only save one of us-"

"Chandler," Joey said, grinning which made Rachel laugh.

"I am sitting right here."

"I know. Chandler."

"You two really have a bromance."

"We do. Let me ask you something, why did you hate him so much? Chandler told me you guys used to just despise each other?" Joey asked. He knew the pranks that went wrong, he knew when Rachel first moved in that both Phoebe and Chandler hated her. He kinda thought he should know why now, considering what he had told her.

"Long story. To be really honest. It wasn't anything he really did. He had really bad timing."

"Okay, you have to tell me the story."

"I had an abortion….when I was sixteen," Rachel said.

"Chandler got you pregnant?" Joey asked.

"No. Eww. no. My high school boyfriend, Chip. The guy I had sex with in your bedroom."

"Oh," Joey said before remembering. He remembered that party, now knowing it was Rachel. He remembered how he and his friends had made fun of them. Little Doritos. They were all so convinced she was pregnant. She had been so embarrassed. He started to feel a little guilty.

"A couple weeks after that abortion, I was cheering at the game and Chandler and his buddies heard the hermaphrodite rumor and came to see if it was true. He talked to me because he remembered me from camp, I remembered him too but I blew him off….he got pissed. I punched his friend Tyler in the face-"

"Then Chandler did that prank."

"Yep and that kicked off our mutual hatred of each other."

"Oooo," Joey said, understanding now.

"There you go….now everyone knows."

"Wait, am I the only one who didn't know you had had an abortion?"

"Of our group? Yes. Monica and Ross knew in high school, I didn't tell 'em but apparently they knew. But yeah….you're the last one."

"Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Joe."

"What?"

"Come on."

"No. Why would you not tell me?" Joey asked, looking at her.

"Well...I mean, I love you but you….you're not known for your sensitivity."

"I see," he said, looking down at his food. That kinda hurt him. He knew she had called him a pig before, he knew she thought he was piggish but did she really think he was that big of a jerk? She did know about Monique so maybe she did? Maybe because of that, she thought he wouldn't be sensitive. Rachel reached over and squeezed his hand.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I get it. Although, I have seven sisters. I'm not a complete pig."

"I know. I know."

"I'm really not."

"I know. I'm sorry. I should have told you. It's just not something I enjoy talking about. It wasn't the best moment of my life. Aren't there things you've done that you just don't like talking about?"

"A few," Joey said. Many actually and he knew Rachel knew a lot. He hoped though that what she knew didn't make her think horribly of him. He did like her, he loved her. She was by far the sweetest of the girls. Monica and Phoebe joked that Rachel was the "walking heart". Phoebe had once teased Rachel and said that she was the type that if you told her you accidentally killed someone, Rachel would tell you it wasn't your fault. He hated that Rachel looked at him like some sort of pig, some jerk.

"I'm scared, Joe."

"Scared?" Joey asked, looking at her.

"Yeah, I'm real scared. I haven't told anyone else that. But….I'm scared….I know you all say I'm not going to be alone, but we're all getting older. Monica and Chandler are married and are starting their lives and….and one day Pheebs will get married and you maybe and….and Ross...but then he'll divorce her but I can't help but think that at the end of the day, I'm going to be raising a child….alone."

"You won't be alone."

"Joey."

"Look, okay….right now, is Ross dating someone?"

"No."

"Are Monica and Chandler moving somewhere?"

"No….and I know you aren't getting married anytime soon and neither is Phoebe but-"

"And do you see any of that changing within the next year?"

"No I mean, I don't think so but-"

"If I've learned anything in my life, worry about today. Right now, you're not alone."

"But you have to plan….look for the future."

"You can. You can also live your life."

"I can," Rachel said. "Thank you, Joey and I'm sorry."

"You know, the thing that happened with Monique and I've been arrested four times. Twice for drinking and driving, once for a fight and the thing that happened with Monique, I'm still ashamed of that and I-I don't-I don't want you thinking that's the kind of guy I am."

"I don't," Rachel said. "I like this, Joey. I like hanging out with you. You and I don't do this a lot, do we?"

"No, we don't….so wanna go back to my place?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, but I'm sleeping in my own room," Rachel said, laughing.

"Okay."

Joey kept looking at her as they finished their meal and began to walk arm and arm back to the apartment. She rested her head on his shoulder as he gently made sure she was okay. They got a few blocks from the restaurant when Rachel suddenly stopped and looked at him.

"Mr. Tabrubino's dead, isn't he?" Rachel asked.

"What?" Joey asked.

"The guy my friends and I saw on the street in high school, getting into the back of a car...there was a guy with a gun pointed at him. Joey, was that you?"

Joey closed his eyes. She was going to hate him. He hated her asking questions. He wanted her so badly to stop.

"Yeah, it was me. I got him out of the house. I didn't kill him, I sat in the car while Tony, Christopher and Shane did the killing. Shane was the one who yelled at you. Rachel please, no more questions. I don't...I hate talking about this and I don't want you knowing this. I don't want you thinking I'm some monster."

Rachel looked at him with a look of concern as she gently stroked his cheek and looked up at him, comforting him. He could tell he had struck a nerve with her and he wanted to take it all back.

"Oh, sweetie, I don't. I think you're amazing and sweet and come on, who am I to judge someone on their past behavior. You know why Phoebe hated me so much? Well, once she came to a soup kitchen I was volunteering at-"

"You did not volunteer, I know this story. You stood in a soup kitchen. Monica actually volunteered, you stood."

"Okay, fine...I stood there. But after I told Monica that Phoebe, I didn't know her name but I told her that the blonde homeless chick with the funny laugh was probably going to die of disease and it was sad because people who had a laugh like that should not die from venereal diseases...and once when she came into my aunt's store, before she robbed it, I said that the place needed to be fumigated because there were hobos there. Oh and when Chandler covered my car with peanut butter, I told Monica and Ross that I knew who did it and he probably died because he took it up the ass from a rabid coyote. I was also the one who came up with the nickname, 'Monicow' and neither Ross nor Monica were allowed to speak to me in public places," Rachel said.

"Wow, you were a lovely human being," Joey said, sarcastically. Rachel laughed.

"Yeah, I was a bitch and here's something else. Sally Dissisa Corvette? The Thanksgiving where Chandler's toe got cut off? Barry drove me and a bunch of us back to the Geller house where we slashed Sally's tires, poured booze all over the car and threw pills all over it."

"Oh my G-d," Joey said. "Did Chandler know? 'Cause I think that would explain the hatred. Hell, I hate you for it and it wasn't even my car."

"He knows now but no, he didn't know at the time. I told him what I had done a few years ago. "

"Why would you be so mean to Sally?" Joey asked.

"It was the owner of Sally I wanted to piss off...but knowing all that, do you still think I'm horrible?"

"No. I can't see you acting like that at all. I mean, I know you did act like that. I've heard every story but I can't see it...you're the walking heart," Joey said. Rachel laughed a little at that.

"That's how I feel about you. I can't see you doing that. I know about the arrests, the rape, I know you did some messed up crap and some stuff you probably could go to prison for but I know that wasn't you. I know you...you wanted to be something you really weren't just to make others happy and I know that feeling really well. That's how I spent the first twenty four years of my life. You're no monster, Joe. I never want you thinking that. You're my sweet Joey," Rachel said.

"Thank you," Joey said.

Rachel linked her arm back in Joey's and placed her head back on his shoulder. He gently moved his arm and wrapped it around her instead. She grinned and moved her arm around his waist. He loved being this close to her as they walked. The night was still a little chilly but he was feeling warm and a little nervous. He wanted to ignore the feelings in his stomach, the butterflies. He did not want to feel this, not at all. He did not want to let her go. It was wrong, completely wrong but he wanted her. He wanted to just be with her.


	53. Chapter 53

**February 2002- April 2002**

He was sitting next to Monica in the hard fold out chairs in a rec room in the middle of Manhattan. Chandler seemed rather nervous but he kept looking at them and at the front. He had only asked Monica and Joey to join him which Joey felt kind of honored about. Chandler was celebrating a birthdate, he had been sober for a year. He was getting a chip and he wanted Monica and Joey there for support. When the moderator asked who was celebrating a year of sobriety, Chandler stood and looked at both of them, practically beaming. When he got his chip, he proudly showed it off to them. It was a round bronze chip with the number 1 engraved in a triangle.

"Look, look, how cool," Chandler said.

"Congrats, man," Joey said, he truly was happy but his mind was distracted.

"I'm so proud of you sweetie," Monica said, kissing him.

"Thanks and I hope it's okay that I just wanted you here although….I did have the one beer right before our wedding, you think I should give this back?" Chandler asked, suddenly looking worried, "because maybe it's not really a year?"

"No. Keep it, you earned it," Monica said.

"You deserve it," Joey said, "I know it's been tough, man."

"So cool," Chandler said, "it's like I'm an award winning alcoholic."

Monica and Joey both laughed as Chandler kept staring at the chip. Joey was so intensely proud of Chandler for getting this far. He knew it was hard but as the meeting began, his mind wandered. It wandered to the familiar place it had been wandering to since that dinner with Rachel. He could not stop thinking about her. It was constant. Maybe it was her being pregnant, he wasn't sure but she truly was beautiful. She was sweet and kind. He knew he was going into dangerous territory. Rachel was having a baby with Ross. It was wrong. It was all wrong. He could not be feeling these things for Rachel. Yet, he couldn't stop and it was terrifying him.

After the meeting, they went to S'Mac, a fancy mac and cheese place, to get all sorts of different kinds of mac and cheese for Chandler. Chandler ordered for the table and Joey was still thinking of Rachel.

"So Joey, is all that okay?" Chandler asked.

"It's good," Joey said, he hadn't really even paid attention to what had been ordered.

"You did order a lot of food," Monica said.

"It's fine, you can never have too much macaroni and cheese," Chandler said.

"You're being very cute tonight," Monica said.

"I made it a year and-okay-you and I are gonna have sex tonight, right?" Chandler asked.

"Of course."

"Can I wear the chip?" Chandler asked.

"Yes," Monica said as she kissed him again.

Joey kept trying to focus. He wanted to make jokes, Chandler discussing sex with Monica right in front of him was weird. So much he wanted to say but his mind was stuck. He wanted so badly to focus on Chandler, this was a huge deal for him but he could not stop his mind from going back to her.

"Joe, you okay?" Chandler asked.

"I think I'm in love with Rachel," Joey said, rather matter of factly.

"What?" Both Monica and Chandler asked together.

"I don't know how this happened. We went on that date and...I just-'cause she felt sad and I opened up to her and I-it's wrong, I know it's wrong," Joey said.

"You can't pursue her," Monica said.

"I know but I can't stop thinking about her. Every single moment and-and-I've never felt this….okay, I felt this with that chick I was in the play with-"

"Kate," Chandler offered.

"Yes," Joey said.

"How did you forget her name?" Chandler asked.

"I haven't talked to her in awhile. I-this isn't gonna work, I can't….shit…"

"Okay, again...you can't pursue Rachel," Monica said.

"I know," Joey said.

He knew he couldn't. Monica was stating the obvious. He knew could not go after Rachel but it truly was eating him up inside. His mind kept thinking back to her, to what he could say to her.

"Oh my G-d," Chandler said.

Joey shook his head and looked in Chandler's direction as Phoebe, Ross and Rachel walked into the restaurant. Rachel had a cake box with her as they walked towards the table.

"They didn't want to miss the celebration," Monica said.

"Hey, guys," Chandler said getting up to hug them and to show off his chip. "Look, one year."

"Oh, G-d," Rachel said as she began tearing up.

"Are you crying?" Chandler asked.

"I'm pregnant, shut up," Rachel said.

"Show the cake," Phoebe said.

"Oh," Rachel said as she opened the box to show a cake with a number one on it.

Chandler laughed as the other three sat with them. Rachel sat by Joey and he could breathe in her perfume, he could touch her. He looked as Ross and Rachel pored over the menu together. He had to stop, this all had to stop.

"So Pheebs, did you see," Chandler said, handing her his chip.

"Wow," Phoebe said.

"Oh and you guys don't need to order, I've-I've like ordered all the things," Chandler said.

"Very true. We will be having macaroni and cheese for the rest of our lives," Monica said.

"What's wrong with that?" Chandler asked, "but seriously guys thank you and….and I am sorry about everything and I hope you can trust me now and….I am sorry for putting you through so much pain and for being so selfish. I love you guys, a lot. Ross, Phoebe and Rach, I hope you're not upset that you didn't come with me to the meeting but-"

"Sweetie, it's okay," Rachel said as she reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "We forgive you. It's all good."

"Yeah, it's pretty amazing man," Ross said.

"I agree. That is a cool chip," Phoebe said.

Rachel was being so sweet to Chandler. She was always sweet. Where did this feeling even come from? It made no sense and he wished desperately he could get rid of it. The macaroni and cheese soon arrived and it filled the table. He concentrated on the food, concentrated on the fact that Chandler kept polishing his chip with his napkin and placed it next to him while he ate, he concentrated on Phoebe laughing because Chandler was trying to make her laugh so hard she spit soda out of her nose, he concentrated on Ross being gentle with Rachel which pained him. He really disliked this. He hated having crushes or feeling things. He liked doing things, doing people. He was a man of action, not a man of feelings.

Fast forward to a few days later, Chandler and Joey were playing video games in his apartment while Monica and Phoebe were talking about something. Nothing more had been said about Joey's crush. He just felt no more should be said about it. It would be wrong to say more. He would simply have to wait until it vanished.

"How was it?" Monica asked.

Joey heard the door open and close behind them and could see Ross and Rachel in the reflection on the screen. They were coming back from a doctor's appointment.

"Good, good….um, we found out the sex of the baby," Rachel said.

"Really?" Monica asked.

Joey pressed pause on the game as he and Chandler got up to join the rest of them in the kitchen. Rachel and Ross kept looking at each other. They looked like a couple. They were a couple. They were each other's lobsters, whether they wanted to admit it or not.

"You tell them," Ross said.

"We're having a girl," Rachel said. Monica and Phoebe immediately began hugging her, "and I'm moving in with Ross."

"What?" Joey asked.

Rachel was moving out? He thought he had convinced her to stay when she had first gotten pregnant and had thought of moving out but she had decided to move out again.

"You're moving in together?" Monica asked.

"Well, I just….it's easier," Rachel said.

"Nothing for you two is easier," Phoebe said.

"True," Rachel said.

"You're moving out?" Joey asked.

"I'm sorry, Joey," Rachel said as she hugged him. He didn't want a hug, he wanted her to stay, "You understand, right? I mean-"

"Look, I wanna be there for Rachel. I wanna be there for the whole pregnancy. Everything I didn't get to see when Carol was pregnant. I want to be there this time," Ross said.

"I understand," Joey said.

"I think that's great," Monica said as she approached Ross to hug him. Joey let out a sigh as Chandler patted him on the back Although, it made sense. Rachel should move in with Ross. Ross and Rachel made sense. Joey would never make sense with Rachel.

She moved out quickly after the decision was made and Joey was alone in the apartment, staring at the blank television screen. He watched as his front door opened and Chandler walked in.

"Hey, man...you alright?" Chandler asked, sitting at one of the stools. Joey turned around in the barcalounger and faced him.

"She was the best roommate I have ever had," Joey said.

"Gee, thanks," Chandler said.

"Well, dude….I pictured her naked far more than I ever pictured you naked."

Chandler cocked his head to the side as if processing Joey's statement. Joey knew exactly how it sounded but he did not care.

"Okay….that's weird and another thing-"

"I know it's wrong and….maybe this is good, maybe I'll get over her. I have to, this is wrong. I don't have feelings," Joey said.

"You do have feelings, Joe. They just...you know come out in the form of hitting someone with a bat."

"I've never hit anyone with a bat. Beat Christopher with a gun a couple times."

"Well, that's better."

"I need to get over this. How do I get over this? Usually I get over a crush by sleeping with her. I can't do that here."

"Call Kristi….maybe she'll sleep with you," Chandler said.

"I liked confiding in Rachel...she's just so understanding and non-judgemental and-"

"Maybe you're getting ready to settle down."

That seemed to come out of nowhere. It seemed like an insane statement to make.

"Maybe. No…..I don't know. What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know, it's not a bad thing," Chandler said.

"What isn't?" Joey asked.

"Falling for someone."

"Are you really giving me relationship advice?"

"Hey, I'm married," Chandler said.

"Well, okay point taken….but it can't be a relationship with Rachel."

"No but someone…come on, if I can be married…"

"Yeah but….I like being a bachelor. Committed to one person...that's you-"

"Not always."

"And Ross. Just….the same person every night. You know."

"I know," Chandler said.

"What happened to you, man?" Joey asked. "You used to get it and now you're married."

"Well, I guess the trick is finding someone that you just like hanging out with all the time? I don't know, I just like hanging out with Monica."

Joey looked at Chandler and rested his head back against his barcalounger. He just needed a way to purge himself of Rachel. Some way to get rid of these feelings.

"Hey, you two," Monica said walking into the apartment.

"You two wanna go out with me tonight?" Joey asked.

Maybe that would work, a night out on the town. They hadn't done that in a long time.

"Where?" Chandler asked.

"I need a wing person. I need to get rid of these Rachel feelings. Chandler, you okay going to a bar or a club….to help me pick up women?" Joey asked. "I can't really take Ross. I don't know where Pheebs is and you two can work."

"Well, let's see...I'll ask my wife if I can pick up other women. Monica?" Chandler asked.

"Not for you, dumbass...for me, to Rachel purge," Joey said.

"I don't feel comfortable with you going to a bar or a club," Monica said, looking over at Chandler. "Sorry."

"That's why I asked both of you," Joey said, truthfully he didn't feel comfortable bringing Chandler to a bar or club either but he needed someone. He couldn't ask Ross, he definitely couldn't ask Rachel, Phoebe he would probably just end up hooking up with, same with Kristi. Chandler was his wingman.

"You know, Mon, you and I together might make a good team in trying to set Joey up," Chandler said.

"You think?" Monica asked.

"Oh yeah, you and me together….checking out the ladies. This could be fun," Chandler said.

"But if you're tempted," Monica said.

"I'll let you know. Besides, I'm gonna be with you two and that's all I need….and a Red Bull," Chandler said, smiling a little.

Joey laughed. Chandler's addiction had now transferred from drinking and drugs to Red Bull. He always seemed to have one in his hand and the rest of the group had taken to stocking Red Bull in their respective fridges so Chandler always had something.

The walked into Club Infinity with its neon purple strobe lights and blue infinity signs everywhere. Monica quickly grabbed Chandler's hand as Joey looked at his friend, wondering if he had made a mistake. Even in the darkness of the club, Joey could tell Chandler was freaked.

"I need a Red Bull. I can't-I need a Red Bull," Chandler said at a tone so low, Joey almost didn't hear him. They walked towards the bar and Joey looked back at them.

"I'll order drinks," Joey said. "One Red Bull, Monica, scotch on the rocks with a twist."

"Club soda with lime."

"Monica," Chandler said.

"No, not tonight. No arguing. Shhhh," Monica said.

"Did you just 'shhh' me?" Chandler asked.

"I'll do it again," Monica said.

"Fine….Joey, can you at least get a beer. Please? Normal," Chandler said.

"Fine….but you two are helping me get laid tonight," Joey said.

"We're not helping you get laid," Monica said.

"Yeah, you don't need us for that," Chandler said before looking at Monica who still had a very firm grip on his arm "are you gonna hold on to me the entire evening?"

"Yes," Monica said.

"You know what you need? You need to get one of those leashes they use on children to keep them from getting lost at amusement parks," Chandler said.

"You don't think I haven't looked into that already?" Monica asked.

"Joe, maybe you can help me get laid tonight, Chandler joked. Monica laughed as she playfully smacked him. Joey grabbed himself a beer and handed Chandler his Red Bull and Monica her water. The trio walked towards some couches and sat together, scanning the crowd.

"Anyone look nice?" Chandler asked.

"Keep thinking of Rachel," Joey said.

"That girl looks like Rachel," Monica said. "But Joey, before we begin….do you know how to hit on a girl without trying to get her into bed."

"Isn't that why you hit on girls?" Joey asked.

"Oh my G-d," Monica said.

"I bet that scotch is looking pretty good right now," Chandler said.

"Yeah, Joe, not every girl is gonna wanna sleep with you," Monica said.

"You shut your mouth," Joey said.

"No, it's true," Chandler said.

"Okay, practice on me," Monica said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, what?" Chandler asked.

"Like when you first moved in and you practiced," Monica said.

"G-d, I wish Phoebe was here. Oh, we have cell phones now….I can call her," Chandler said, digging into his pocket and pulling out his phone. He quickly dialed.

"Really?" Joey asked.

"Hey, Pheebs. It's me….Monica is teaching Joey how to pick up women. We're at Club Infinity…...yeah, get here…..I'm drinking Red Bull, give it a rest," Chandler said.

Monica and Joey both laughed as Chandler continued yelling into his phone for Phoebe to get there. They would always be protective of Chandler. Nothing would change that. Phoebe did eventually show up and soon it was just the four hanging out with all plans of trying to pick up anyone thrown out the back window. He would just have to get over it. He was Joey, he could get over it. He went through relationships quickly. Out of sight, out of mind or at least she wouldn't be living with him so he could get over it.

He tried, day by day, he just tried to forget it. He focused on work, auditions, doing anything other than thinking of Rachel even though that empty room seemed to serve as a constant reminder that she was not longer there. He would invite Phoebe over sometimes to keep him company, sometimes she'd lay there next to him and it became even more their private time because they had the whole place to themselves. Their friends with benefits started up again, which would always lead to talking, gossiping about the group and discussing the future.

"Hmmm, I missed this," Phoebe said as she lay there in the dark, his arms around her as he kissed her neck. When Rachel had moved in the benefits part of their friendship had truly ended for good, now it was in full swing.

"I'm telling you, you should be here all the time. It makes sense you know, you're my partner," Joey said.

"You like Rachel."

"I should never have mentioned that."

"You know it's wrong."

"I do. Why can't you and I date, Pheebs. How perfect would that be?"

"Because I'm thirty four years old and all of my friends are married or are in serious relationships or having Ross' babies-"

"You have more than one friend who fits into that last category?"

"Well, no...but I wanna find someone. I'm ready to settle and I don't know if you are. Could you actually imagine yourself like Monica and Chandler?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know. Oh, speaking of Monica and Chandler, the whole soulmate thing….not cool. You know he flipped out about that," Joey said, he had heard it through Chandler what Phoebe had done. Introducing Monica to a guy she thought was her soulmate, Chandler was now more convinced than ever Phoebe hated him.

"It wasn't on purpose."

"Come on, Pheebs. It's me. I thought you weren't mad at him anymore? He got a chip," Joey said.

"Okay….great, he made it a year. I mean, I'm happy for him….and I'm proud but….look, okay, my mother killed herself, my step father is in prison, my dad vanished, even my biological mom has cut herself off, I haven't spoken to her since I gave birth to the triplets. I barely see Frank Jr. or Alice or the triplets. People make promises to me and then they break them. I want to forgive him, I want to move past it, I so do but….I keep waiting, waiting for him to vanish again or leave….he ran out on his own wedding and I'm sorry that I keep saying Monica can do better and the soulmate thing was not cool, I get it but-"

"He's trying."

"I don't know why I can't just let it go. I want to though and I think Monica and Chandler are pretty perfect together and if I find someone who looks at me the way he looks at her….even when she's not aware he's looking….that smile when he's just so amazed and in love, I want a guy who looks at me like that," Phoebe said.

"I look at you like that," Joey said.

"No, you don't. We're friends with benefits and the fact that you have a crush on Rachel is weird because you know that will never work. Ross and Rachel are each other's lobsters. I want someone outside the six of us and you should want someone too. G-d, we're so co-dependent and insulated….I guess, that's the right word but …..maybe it's time for us both to grow up."

"You wanna stop this?"

"I don't know."

Phoebe fell silent as they continue to hold onto each other. Joey really did not know what he wanted. He wasn't sure he was in love with Phoebe but was he ready to just be done with his whole bachelor lifestyle? That he wasn't so sure of.

Soon April rolled around and Joey was still trying to ignore his feelings. On the day of Rachel's baby shower, he went with Chandler and Joey for an audition to be the host of a game show. Maybe if he made himself busy, it would mean that he would be away from Rachel. He especially appreciated Chandler and Ross being there for support.

"I've never done hosting," Joey said, "this is...I feel like I should be British."

"British?" Chandler asked.

"Why British?" Ross asked.

"Why not British. I mean, okay...how does this sound, 'okay, welcome to Bamboozled'", Joey tried in an accent that sounded more Jamaican than British.

"I wouldn't do that," Ross said.

"Yeah and on a related note, I'm so glad I spent all that money on that dialect coach for you. Money well spent," Chandler said.

"You paid for a dialect coach for him?" Ross asked. "You really are his Sugar Daddy."

"I know, right," Chandler said.

"He's not anymore," Joey said.

"Yeah, Mon made me stop," Chandler said.

"Good. Hey, Joe...I had wanted to ask, when Rach moved out, you seemed upset are-"

"I'm fine. I just lost a good roommate, it's all good," Joey said, he would not discuss this now. Especially not with Ross, instead he got up, ready to audition, "After this we'll go and I'll buy lunch for us," Joey finished.

"Yeah. twenty, thirty dollar lunch….that'll make us even," Chandler said.

"Bite me, Sugar Daddy," Joey said as he walked off towards another room to begin his audition. It went alright. It was for a game show. It was a fine audition, nothing too special. After lunch, he headed back to his apartment to read through a script for Days of Our Lives. Ross and Chandler had invited him for basketball but he felt he needed to work. He felt so adult, choosing work over play.

"Joe?" Rachel asked as she walked into the apartment. She looked so pretty.

"How was the shower?"

"Good. How was the audition?"

"It was alright."

"Hey….can we talk?"

"Yeah."

"Okay….alright, this is hard but lately….are you okay? Ever since I moved out, you've been acting weird. Is something going on?" Rachel asked.

"I'm fine."

"Joey, I know you. What's going on?"

Joey let out a sigh as he put the script down and looked at her. He so did not want to tell her this. She didn't need to know this but she wasn't leaving. He felt like he had no choice. He had to tell her.

"Alright, Rach….this is tough but ever since our date, I've been….I've had...I've had feelings for you," Joey said, trying not to look at her.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"I know….it's dumb but I don't know and I guess when you moved out, I felt sad and-and I shouldn't because you should be with Ross and live with him and it's weird and-"

"Oh, Joey….Joey, I love you so much but not-"

"I know," Joey said not wanting her to finish. He knew she didn't feel the same and he didn't need to hear it.

"Not in that way. But you're sweet and I loved our date and I love getting to know you. Really getting to know you. I love that. I will always love that but I'm having Ross' child and at the end of the day….somehow, I do believe Ross and I are going to find our way back to each other and I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, Rach."

"Really?"

"It's fine."

"You're not going to orchestrate a hit on me?" Rachel asked, grinning at him.

"No. No...I won't. Look, I'm gonna get back to memorizing lines."

"Joey."

"I'm okay, Rachel."

Rachel nodded as she leaned and hugged him. He hugged back. He wasn't sure if he had just made things worse between them. He still wanted them to be friends.

"Does Ross know?" Rachel asked. "Does he know how you feel?"

"No, no….only Chandler knows and Monica, probably," Joey said not wanting to admit that Monica did know just in case Rachel went to Monica asking why she hadn't told Rachel.

"He tells Monica everything."

"So she knows….and I told Pheebs. So Ross is the only one who doesn't know and I don't want him knowing," Joey said.

"Okay. I won't tell him."

"Thanks. I'll get over it," Joey said.

"I love you, Joe. I do."

"I know."

Rachel hugged him again. Joey took her in again. This was too much. He needed this to end, this crush. It had to end. There was no other option. It had to simply end. Rachel would never be his girlfriend. It wasn't supposed to be the two of them, so he would have to get over it. He was Joey, he got over things quickly and this would have to be one of those things.


	54. Chapter 54

**May 2002**

His first movie premiere and he needed to take Chandler. He had decided that long ago. That was essential. He needed his friend there, his former roommate, his brother. He kinda liked dressing up and walking down the red carpet with his buddy by his side. All that money that Chandler had spent on helping him with his career, and this was the final product and he could not wait for Chandler to enjoy it or least some of it. Half way through Over There, Joey looked over and noticed Chandler sound asleep. When the movie was over, Chandler woke up with the sound of applause.

"Seriously? Catching a little shut eye, Sleeping Beauty," Joey said.

"I'm sorry," Chandler said.

"No, I wanted you to see this," Joey said, angrily. How could he possibly fall asleep?

"Well, the parts I saw, you were great."

"Was it really that boring?"

"No…..you did a great job."

Joey glared at him, he wanted to continue the fight but they were interrupted by their cell phones ringing and news that Rachel's water had broken. Rachel was officially going into labor so the boys decided to call a truce as they headed to the hospital to wait. It truly had felt like she had been pregnant for twelve months. Once they raced to the hospital, they ended up just sitting. Waiting. The moments ticking by in the slowest way they could. Every moment feeling excruciating.

"See, if you had taken me….I would not have fallen asleep," Phoebe said.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," Chandler said.

"Well, if you need to rest now…." Joey teased.

"Shut up," Chandler said.

Joey laughed as he rested his head back against the wall, tired and annoyed. He wasn't even sure he was that upset anymore about the movie. It was big and epic and even though he had tried to start some Oscar buzz, the reviews didn't seem to be picking up on that buzz.

"I'm getting a soda," Joey said, desperately needing to move. He wasn't even sure he was thirsty, just needed to walk somewhere.

"Me too. You want anything, Mon? A Baby Ruth?" Chandler asked, grinning.

Joey raised his eyebrows up and down, looking at Monica. Maybe that's why he was no longer upset about the movie. A moment earlier had taken his mind off of it. Monica had told Chandler she was ready to have children and Chandler agreed. Monica had freaked, she had only wanted to get a rise out of him but Chandler wanting to have children was also new.

"Get away from me," Monica joked.

"Dude, I'm bored. I'll race you to the vending machines," Joey said, losing patience quickly.

"Joe, you're thirty four...that is so-" Chandler began before taking off running.

Joey's mouth dropped. Clearly, Chandler was bored as well. He looked over at Monica and Phoebe.

"Your husband's a dead man," Joey said before racing towards Chandler.

"Ha, ha...I win. You can't hit me," Chandler said, touching the vending machines first.

"Yes, I can," Joey said as he jokingly hit Chandler on the shoulder. "Now, buy me something, bitch."

That seemed fair. Chandler fell asleep at his movie, he should buy Joey candy. Seemed perfectly okay to him.

"Fine," Chandler said as he turned to the vending machine and proceeded to get two bags of M&M's. He handed one to Joey.

"Let's go to the gift shop."

"Why?" Chandler asked.

"Maybe we can get something for Rachel?" Joey asked, not really wanting to go sit and wait more.

"Or maybe we can buy the baby a watch so she can look at the time and hurry up and get out of Rachel's uterus," Chandler said as the two walked towards the elevators.

"I say let's do it," Joey said, momentarily wondering if that would help, "But okay...seriously, I wanted to ask you, you're ready for a kid?"

"Yeah...crazy, right? But...we've been married for a year, I've been clean for over a year-"

"Good job."

"Thank you...and it doesn't scare me. Having kids does not scare me."

"Terrifies me."

"It would terrify most people," Chandler grinned as they stepped into the elevator and rode it down to the gift shop. Joey kept loading up on candy and snacks as he noticed Chandler staring at the little onesies. Ross was upstairs with Rachel waiting for the birth of his second child and Chandler wanted children. It felt weird. He wasn't sure if he was ready, was he supposed to be at that moment yet? Were they now a group getting ready to include children? Joey kinda missed those days when they played, messed around and didn't think about settling down. After buying the candy and a baby doll that they began throwing around like a football, they headed back up towards Monica and Phoebe. Joey wanted to play and he loved that Chandler still played with him.

"Seriously?" Monica asked.

"What? Does this freak you out?" Chandler asked, grinning as he looked at Monica sitting next to Phoebe, he turned back to look at Joey. "Joe, go long."

"Yeah, baby," Joey said backing up as Chandler tossed the doll towards him. Joey jumped up to catch it but lost his footing on the way down and ended up falling backward into a nurse who looked pissed off.

"This is why we don't play in the halls," Chandler said, walking towards Joey to help him.

"Boys, sit," Monica said.

Chandler and Joey sheepishly walked back to their seats and sat down, still throwing the doll at each other. This was doing a little to relieve the boredom.

"I'm gonna get coffee. Chandler, you wanna come with me?" Phoebe asked.

"No, I'm okay. But thanks," Chandler said as he looked at Phoebe but just as he looked away, Joey tossed the doll at his head. "Dude...gentle. Right, Mon."

"Yes," Monica rolled her eyes as Chandler threw the doll back at Joey.

"Chandler, honey, I'd like coffee. Can you get me some?" Monica asked.

"Sure, babe...Joe, you wanna come with me and get coffee?" Chandler asked.

The tension hit Joey again as he noticed the awkwardness. After that whole soulmate thing, Chandler was now fully convinced that Phoebe hated him. It was a little sad, the whole deterioration of their friendship. He hated that. He had heard so many stories over the years about how close they had been.

"Chandler, I would like to talk to you. Alone. Without Joey or Monica. Can we talk?"

"I...I don't really wanna talk to you...or talk...I don't...I just..." Chandler said.

"Wow, this more awkward than the time I professed my love to Rachel," Joey said. He had to give Phoebe credit for wanting to talk to Chandler but Joey wondered if it was a lost cause.

"You know what...Joey, let's you and I get coffee and leave these two alone," Monica asked.

"Alright," Joey said getting up, thankful he wouldn't have to listen to the awkward conversation between Phoebe and Chandler. Monica and Joey headed off to get some coffee and sat at a nearby table.

"Joe, do you forgive Chandler?"

"What did he do now?" Joey asked, confused.

"Well, when he ran out on the wedding-"

"It wasn't my wedding."

"Even after helping him through withdrawals and all that other stuff?" Monica asked.

"Why wouldn't I forgive him? It wasn't my wedding, why would I be mad?" Joey asked.

Yes, he had been mad. He had been furious but even with this whole sleeping at his movie premiere thing, Joey had figured out which battles were worth picking and at the end of the day, Chandler was still an amazing friend and that canceled all the other crap out.

"Phoebe doesn't."

"Makes sense...I do though, yeah, it was stupid but...at the end of the day, he's a good guy and he's my brother. It's family and now you're family."

"That's sweet."

"I'm a sweet guy."

"Can I ask you something else?" Monica asked.

"What?"

"Do you want to ever settle down?"

"Where?" Joey asked.

"I'm serious. Ross and Rachel will eventually figure it out, they're having a kid-"

"You and Chandler are gonna have kids."

"It's looking like it, I have to talk to him but….don't you feel stuck?"

"I feel fine."

"Really?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I mean, what's wrong with being a bachelor….look at Hugh Hefner."

"It's that really your role model?"

"Sometimes," Joey said.

"I wish...for you...well, what about Phoebe or Kristi...or-"

"Kristi has a kid and-and-I've known that girl since kindergarten. She's like a sister."

"Haven't you had sex with her?" Monica asked.

"A very special sister."

"Okay, Pheebs."

"Friend with benefits. Besides, she's not interested. She wants someone outside the six of us 'cause we're too co-dependent."

"She may have a valid point….okay, then...look, what is it about me and Rachel and Phoebe and Kristi that make us the women that you protect because I have a feeling that you would never let a guy treat one of us the way you've treated other women. Why are we more special than the girl whose name you forgot or didn't call?"

"You're making me uncomfortable."

"Good. It's time to grow up Joe."

Joey took another sip of his coffee and let Monica's words hit him. She did have a point. Phoebe. Rachel. Monica. Kristi. He protected those four more than any other girl. He loved those four, would go after any guy who hurt them and in Monica's case, that did include Chandler. What was it that those four had that made them unforgettable? Could he find someone like that? He wasn't so sure.

When Rachel finally had her baby, the other four quickly gathered around her and Ross. Joey could not believe how stunning this little person was, he remembered when Carol had Ben or when Kristi had Ashley and how cute Ben and Ashley were the first time he saw them but there was a different feeling this time. He felt a yearning that he had never felt.

"She looks so beautiful. Ross, you sure this kid is yours," Joey teased.

"What's her name?" Phoebe asked.

"We still don't know. I don't know….Ross, what are we going to do?" Rachel asked. "I wanted Brian for a boy but we never landed on a girl's name."

"You'll think of something," Monica said.

"Easy for you to say, you've had your kid's names picked out since you were like four," Ross said.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah….I told you," Monica said.

"I don't remember," Rachel said.

Monica let out a sigh as she looked at Chandler and back at Rachel, "for a girl...I had wanted the name, Emma."

"Oh," Rachel said, looking down at the baby. Monica looked at Rachel and back at the baby.

"Take it," Monica said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"She's clearly an Emma."

"But you love that name," Rachel said.

"I love you more."

"Thank you, Mon," Rachel said.

"So…..everyone meet, Emma Green," Ross said.

"No, Ross….Emma Geller-Green," Rachel said.

"Thank you," Ross whispered, clearly touched.

"Can we hold her?" Joey asked. Rachel nodded and Ross took Emma from Rachel and handed her to Joey. He held Emma and he felt himself almost choke up. He didn't want this feeling. He didn't want to feel like he was ready. He wasn't ready, he couldn't be. He was not supposed to be ready.

"Can I?" Monica asked.

Joey gently handed her to Monica and watched as the newborn was passed around the group, each having their moment with her. Finally, Chandler held Emma and Joey could see it too, his best friend becoming a dad.

"Hey, little Emma. I'm your Uncle Chandler. I will be the best uncle ever. I swear...when your parents and aunt Monica drive you nuts, you find me, kid."

"Oh, G-d...our child is gonna cover our cars with peanut butter," Rachel grinned.

"No, no...I'll start her off small. Little pranks. Like whoopee cushions and stuff. The big pranks will come later," Chandler said, shaking his head.

"She'll be lucky," Rachel said.

"You're gonna be a great uncle," Phoebe said.

"And a fantastic father," Monica said.

"Really?" Rachel asked, looking from Monica to Chandler.

"Seriously?" Ross asked.

"Yeah...Mon and I are gonna start trying," Chandler said, "we're gonna give you a cousin, Emma...she's beautiful, Rach. Oh and Emma, we going to have to start watching movies...soon. No niece of mine is going to grow up without knowing Charlie Chaplin or Buster Keaton."

"Monica's right. You're gonna be an amazing father, Chandler," Rachel said.

"Thanks. Wow, she's gorgeous. Thank G-d, she only takes after Rachel," Chandler grinned as he gently handed Emma back to Rachel. He quickly wiped the tears away from his face as Phoebe gently patted him on the back. They were all crying. Emma's birth signified yet another change for this group of six co-dependents. They were starting to move on from each other and Joey who had always hated the idea of change, started to feel uneasy. There would be no more days of throwing water balloons off the balcony, no more being young and silly. The new chapter of their lives was starting and Joey still wasn't ready to leave the last one.

The group soon parted. Monica and Chandler invited Joey to join them for lunch and he declined. Phoebe decided to go see if she could get a date with a hot doctor or a hot patient and Joey just needed a moment. He needed a moment with his thoughts. He felt like he was grasping at something, like everything was spinning. He had gotten so comfortable. He had liked just being with the other five but the other five were moving on and it was terrifying to him. In this hospital, changes were being made, things were moving forward and Joey remained rooted in his spot. Frozen, staring.

"Why are you staring?" a woman asked when Joey realized he had literally been frozen.

He had been standing and staring creepily at a woman who had been breast feeding, he quickly uttered an apology and ran off. He smiled to himself, his thoughts about the future interrupted by the fact that he had just seen a woman's boobs and a baby sucking on one of those boobs. He headed down the halls, back towards Rachel's room and walked in.

"So, I saw some baby just going to town on some chick's boobies. It was awesome," Joey said.

Joey noticed Rachel staring at him, looking pale and disgusted. Joey looked up to see what she was watching and he immediately felt sick. She was watching Oprah and there was a guy on it talking about his boyfriend. Joey read the heading under the guy's name that said, "boyfriend, Brian, bought the drugs that killed him from mobster Christopher Moltisanti." The guy wanted Christopher brought to justice. Joey felt lightheaded as he looked at Rachel. Of all the looks he had seen from Rachel, this one was different.

"Oh, G-d," Joey said.

"Brian bought drugs from your cousin."

"Rachel," Joey said, pacing back and forth. He needed to fix this. He could see Rachel in his head again, wailing, grabbing Brian's lifeless body.

"I knew he wasn't an addict. He….oh G-d. Joey, did you know?"

"I don't-"

"Please don't lie to me."

"When did Brian pass away?" Joey asked, lying of course he knew when Brian died. He would never forget that day.

"Summer of 1993," Rachel said.

"I was living with Chandler," Joey said, hoping she'd buy it. She was going to hate him. This whole conversation was going to end with her hating him.

"No, you weren't. Not yet. You didn't move in until the fall. Where you before? And-and you moved into an apartment knowing you couldn't afford the rent and Chandler would have to pay it. Where did you live before?"

"L.A."

"You came home, Shane was dead and where did you stay?"

"I don't talk wanna about this," Joey said, practically pleading with her. She wouldn't let up. She needed to let up.

"I do. Did you give him drugs?"

"No. No, I did not. Please believe me, I did not," Joey said as he sat on the bed and stared at her as she cried. She was crying. G-d, she was going to hate him. She was going to find him so repulsive. He could have done something, he could have stopped it. He knew what Brian was going to do.

"Please tell me what happened."

She wasn't going to let him drop it. He would have to tell her. He took a deep breath, hoping she wouldn't kill him.

"Okay….but I don't….Shane passed away in 1990. I was back in New York and I spent a three years couch surfing and one of the last couches I crashed on was my cousin, Christopher's and um….one day, this guy came by saying he wanted some drugs and Christopher sold them to him. I didn't think much of it until I was watching the news a few weeks later and there was a report on a dead body found in an apartment in the city and I put it together. I didn't know, please, please know that I didn't know. After, I got into a fight with Christopher and asked and then I found an apartment that I couldn't afford and moved in with Chandler. I needed to get out of there. I am so sorry, Rachel," Joey said, he was crying as well. He wasn't sure if he had ever cried in front of the five of them. No, he was pretty sure he had cried in front of Chandler. He knew he had never cried in front of Rachel. He hated this, hated her knowing this. Rachel stared at him and her expression changed from anger to concern, she gently touched his face, wiping away the tears.

"It's okay," Rachel said.

"It is?"

"Yeah, Joe. I know it wasn't you."

"I didn't want that life. I ran from that life. Although, I will tell you something. Dan," Joey said, pointing to the television, "he's dead."

"Really?"

"If it hasn't happened already."

"Can you get it called off?"

"I-I don't think so."

"Please? Try?"

"I'll try. I'll say it was nine years ago and he's just bitter and forget about him. I'll try, but I can't promise anything," Joey said truthfully. He was pretty sure there was nothing he could do about it. He knew Christopher. He knew about the FBI looking into the Sopranos. There was no way they would let it fly.

"Thank you."

"Anything for you, Rach."

"Does Chandler know? When you moved in and couldn't pay rent or utilities, what did you tell him?"

"Just that I couldn't pay it because I hadn't worked enough. I didn't tell him anything specific and he did ask a couple times in the beginning why I would move to a place that I couldn't afford and I said I needed to get away from some stuff and after awhile, he stopped asking."

"You owe him a lot of money."

"I know," Joey said, laughing.

"Like I bet it's like six figures."

"It is. Chandler and I figured it out. It's somewhere in the range of two hundred and thirty grand."

"Wow," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I really. I never wanted that life for myself, that's why I left. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I wish I had, I would have told Brian to get the hell out and go find you. Who would want to leave you?"

"Joe."

Rachel smiled as the two stared at each other. Maybe it was the closeness between them but he wanted to kiss her in that moment, so badly wanted to feel her lips against his and he could almost detect the same feeling from her. Rachel leaned in and he closed his eyes when she kissed him on the cheek. He smiled, that's what it would have to be. He needed to leave.

"I should go, I just wanted...I...I'll go find the boobies again," Joey said as he stumbled towards a chair and pulled a jacket off the back of the chair when he noticed a box fall on the floor. He picked it up opened it and was staring at a diamond ring. He turned to look at Rachel but before he could say anything, she said yes just as Ross walked in.

"Excuse me?" Ross asked.

"What….oh, Rach-I-" Joey kept stuttering, this did not look good.

"What are you doing?" Ross asked.

"Ross," Rachel said.

"Did you just propose?" Ross asked.

"No, no," Joey said, standing up but still holding onto the ring.

"You just proposed," Rachel said.

"No, I didn't."

"But-" Rachel said.

"No, Ross is proposing," Joey said, the ring had come from Ross' jacket.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"What? I'm not proposing," Ross said. "You just….and Rach, you just said yes?"

"No, no….no….I-I'm gonna go," Joey said, walking towards Ross, handing him the ring before walking off. He kept walking until he found the commissary and saw Monica and Chandler talking. He sat down.

"So, Rachel knows now that I was there when Brian bought the drugs that he used to kill himself and I accidentally proposed to Rachel."

"What?" Both Monica and Chandler asked together.

"You didn't tell Mon about the Brian thing?" Joey asked.

"No, figured she'd tell Rachel," Chandler said.

"What's going on?" Monica asked.

"Great, before I moved in with Chandler, I was staying with Christopher. One day, some kid came in, bought some drugs from Christopher. A few days later, they found a body in an apartment. It was Brian. The drugs he used to kill himself were from Christopher," Joey said.

"Oh my G-d," Monica said.

"Rachel knows that now and-and actually there's more and this is the part you may never tell Rachel. You know how Rachel said she grabbed Brian's body and tried to wake him and she was so distraught? Yeah, after I saw it on the news….they gave the address and I went down there and saw her wailing. It sounded like it came from an animal-"

"Oh, G-d," Monica said, "oh, that explains so much. I called her from my friend Ellie's wedding about a year I think before she moved in and that call was so weird. She sounded like she needed something, someone….that's why I gave her my number. I just got this feeling like something was really wrong. Brian had just died."

"I could have stopped it," Joey said. "He was sitting on that couch."

"No, you couldn't have," Chandler said. "He was going to do that. His mind was already made up."

"Don't worry, Joe….I won't say anything. I definitely won't say you went down there," Monica said.

"You got to stop blaming yourself," Chandler said. "What could you have done?"

"I don't know. Just that image of her and…."

"Joey, I don't…." Monica said.

"Sorry," Joey said, realizing Monica did not want to discuss moments in which her best friend may have been in pain. "Please don't tell her."

"I don't. When she tells me about Brian, it's only the good stuff," Monica said, "I think she'd rather keep it that way….now, you proposed to her?"

"By accident. I think Ross was going to? I don't know."

He really didn't. He didn't know what he was supposed to or say and it seemed neither did anyone else. Did he screw everything up? He tried to stay out of Ross' way. He tried to avoid him, he tried to avoid Rachel too but it was almost impossible especially after Chandler was transferred to Tulsa. He had fallen asleep in a meeting and got himself transferred which of course pissed Phoebe off again but he couldn't even concentrate. He went to work and came home. He even did try talking to Christopher and told him not to touch that Dan guy but that didn't go well and just resulted in Christopher telling him to go fuck himself. He kept trying so hard thinking maybe he could avoid Ross altogether but when Ross tracked him down and invited him for drinks, he felt he had no choice. He met up with Ross at Pub 2, Chandler's old haunt. It was Joey's idea to meet there, thinking it was neutral and it used to be Chandler's safe space so maybe it would rub off on them. They ordered their drinks and Joey felt like he wanted to explode. He hated this. He hated feeling so uncomfortable around Ross.

"Thanks for not choosing Umbertos?" Ross offered.

Joey laughed at that, Ross trying to lighten the mood. He wouldn't take Ross to a mobster restaurant. That seemed wrong.

"Wasn't gonna do that. Look, Ross about the proposing to Rach-"

"Do you like Rachel? I mean...when she moved in with me, you were upset and-and then-"

"I-it's not important," Joey said, wanting to drop it even though it would be impossible to drop.

"Yes, it is."

"Okay...yes, I did like her. I did….I don't know….I developed feelings but it didn't matter. She didn't feel them back."

"You told her?"

"Yeah. It-she-look-it just happened and it shouldn't have and it's over. You mean too much to me and honestly, until Chandler gets his ass back from Tulsa, you're all I got."

"Same to you. Wait, does Chandler know?"

"He does. But I didn't want him to tell you. I didn't want Rachel to tell you. It was a crush and-but the proposal...it meant nothing. She would've married anyone. She was crying, she was upset, it really could have been anyone."

"Not sure that makes me feel better."

"Come on, you and I both know how this will end up."

"But I don't know how this will end up. We keep talking about the same the things over and over but I don't know if it will end up that way," Ross said.

"It will."

"How do you know?"

"'Cause….it just will. You had a kid with her, you married her-"

"I divorced her."

"That was on you."

"I had...we say the same things. It's the same story. It's getting….old."

"I know and I'm really sorry about the hospital, about all of it and...just don't tell Rachel. It-I'm sorry," Joey said although he wasn't entirely sure what was left to not tell Rachel.

"It's okay. So I guess you and I are gonna have to hang out more," Ross said.

"I'm good with that."

"Me too," Ross said as they ordered more drinks.

"It is good to have a friend to drink with again," Joey said.

"Yeah…."

"You okay, though?"

"I don't know. I don't...this is just all so confusing. I don't….I don't….I know you say Rach and I will find our way back to each other but I don't know Joey. I wish I knew. I wish we could make this work. You know, one of my favorite moments or maybe the moment I knew….Monica's Bat Mitzvah. One of her friends had dared her to dance with me. Twenty bucks. She told me about it and I made her give me half and she did….I hate how I feel about her. I hate how complicated it is."

"I know."

"What about you Joe, any girls, one night stands, stories to make me feel better."

"No...no, no one night stands. Actually, kinda thinking of….finding someone."

"Really?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. But it just ridiculous. Me as a husband and father," Joey said.

"I think you'd actually be a pretty good dad," Ross said.

"Please," Joey said.

"I'm being serious."

Joey laughed as the two continued drinking their beers. He wasn't sure when it had all gotten so awkward, when had things changed? Even sitting with Ross felt awkward. Moving on, getting older, leaving the past behind. How do you leave the past behind when you don't feel you're entirely ready to do that?


	55. Chapter 55

**October 2002-November 2002**

There is a moment in life when things change forever. That moment that will forever be marked by before this moment and after. He had still been trying to process what had happened with Rachel and the non-proposal. Things had been getting a little less awkward with Ross. Chandler was still in Tulsa and he was just trying to ignore that feeling of being at a crossroads. Monica had asked him to meet her and Chandler at Central Perk, they were going to breakfast and then later that night, Monica and Chandler had set him up on a date with a girl. Seemed good, the woman Phoebe had set him up with turned out to be a disaster. He and Phoebe had tried setting each other up but he had forgotten and just randomly found a guy named Mike. Seemed to work well, they were at Central Perk, having coffee and even though he didn't know Mike, turned out Chandler did. Mike and Chandler had gone to high school together. They left when things got awkward though when Chandler told Mike that Phoebe had been homeless. That was hilarious and he had planned to mess with Chandler about that throughout breakfast.

"I didn't know she hadn't...well, if she didn't completely hate me before," Chandler said.

"She doesn't hate you," Monica said as the three walked in and got a table,"Joey...Chandler wants to tell you something."

Joey hadn't really been listening. He was ready to discuss Phoebe and Mike further. He had never met Mike, had totally picked a stranger out of a coffee shop and there they were having a second date but discussing the date he was going on could work too.

"Alright...look, Joe...tonight...okay, it's a double date. Mon and I and you and Lizzie-" Chandler said.

"The 'oh, crap' girl," Joey smiled. "You said 'I love you', she said, 'oh crap'".

Maybe he should have asked some questions, why was Chandler setting him up with his ex-girlfriend? That seemed weird. He thought maybe he should discuss it with Ross. Did Ross know about this?

"Yeah...she lives in Tulsa now and I...had dinner with her a couple nights ago-"

"Yeah, baby," Joey grinned, although knowing Chandler never would have done anything.

"No. She has a daughter...who is twelve. About twelve, thirteen years ago, Lizzie and I broke up because she cheated and it turns out she had a daughter with the guy she cheated on me with."

"Whoa," Joey said.

"You're the guy," Chandler said.

"What?" Joey asked, his heart in his throat. He felt nauseous. What was Chandler saying? Did he ever date a girl named Lizzie? He had a child.

"Joey, apparently, when you slept with her, she got pregnant and she tried to call you and tell you but you never called her back," Monica said.

"No, no...that didn't happen," Joey said.

"Joe, think back. Did you hook up with a girl...who may or may not have mentioned she had a boyfriend who was out of town?" Chandler asked.

"I've hooked up with a lot of girls whose boyfriends may or may not have been out of town," Joey argued.

"Joe," Chandler said.

"No. no...this didn't happen. I don't have a child," Joey said.

"Yes, you do. I've met her. She looks like you. She's your child," Chandler said. "Lizzie didn't want me saying anything but we didn't want you to walk into this. Just..."

"I'm not going to dinner tonight," Joey said. That was not going to happen. He was never going to dinner. He couldn't, he wasn't ready. He had only been contemplating settling down. Not actually doing it.

"Joey, come on. It's at 7 at Torinos and we'll all sit and-" Monica said.

"No. I'm not doing this, no," Joey said as he got up, throwing his napkin down on the table.

"Joe," Chandler said.

"Leave me alone," Joey said as he stormed out of the restaurant. He felt like he was in a daze. When was this? What happened? Twelve years ago? Thirteen? 1989? What had happened in 1989? Summer of '89? He kept walking, ignoring any calls. He walked and walked until he reached where he wanted to go. He looked up and was happy to be buzzed in. He ran up the steps and pounded on her door until Kristi opened it.

"What the hell was I doing in the summer of 1989?" Joey asked, walking in. Ashley was sitting at the table, coloring.

"I have no idea. Didn't you go to Los Angeles the first time?"

"Who did I date?"

"Oh, easier question please...what is going on? You look like you're gonna throw up."

"I am. I am. I-I-this can't be happening. This-no-I'm a bachelor. Forever. I'm like this generation's Warren Beatty."

"Okay, you're gonna have to tell me what's going on," Kristi said.

"Did I date a girl named, Lizzie?" Joey asked.

"Oh, yeah….I liked that girl. She was sweet. Whatever happened to her?" Kristi asked.

"No, no….I didn't date a girl named Lizzie," Joey said, sitting on the couch. "Especially not this Lizzie."

"Ashley, sweetie, why don't you go in your room and play," Kristi said.

"Are you okay, Uncle Joey?" Ashley asked.

"No, Ashley. I'm not. Apparently, I hooked up with this girl-"

"Do not tell her," Kristi said, ushering Ashley into her room before returning to the couch and sitting next to him, grabbing his hand, "now….what?"

"My date….I'm a father."

"What?"

"Okay, Lizzie was Chandler's girlfriend in the eighties and-and-when-when did we even meet?"

"Chandler or Lizzie?"

"Come on...help."

"Acting class. Remember? You and I took an acting class together and she was there and remember she was really nervous?"

"Yeah, maybe," Joey said, "well, she should have been nervous. She was apparently cheating on her boyfriend….with me."

"But where is the part where she has a child?"

"Chandler….she lives in Tulsa now and Chandler had dinner with her because he is now working part time in Tulsa and her daughter is twelve and it came out that this girl is my child."

"Wait, why did she never tell you?" Kristi asked.

"I don't know...I….oh, well…."

"Did she call you?" Kristi asked, her tone controlled.

"Um…."

"Oh G-d."

"I'm trying to remember because I went to Los Angeles at the end of the summer."

"Did the relationship end when you went to Los Angeles?" Kristi asked.

"I thought it did."

"Did she know it ended?" Kristi asked.

"I don't know."

"Oh fuck," Kristi said putting her head in her hands. She raised her head slightly to stare at him.

"She might have called," Joey said.

"What do you mean, she might have called?" Kristi asked, desperately trying to control her anger.

"I told Shane to take care of it. She kept calling Shane and I's place….when we were living with the Swedish flight attendants-"

"You never even gave her the number of where you were staying in Los Angeles?" Kristi asked.

"No. The relationship was done and I told Shane to tell her to stop calling and-"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kristi asked, in an explosion of anger. She smacked him on the arm as he sat there, unable to move, "you're thirty four years old….it is...how you treat women….how do you forget the names and forget these women because let me tell you something, Joey. We don't forget you and if Lizzie was calling then you should have grown a pair and called her back."

"I didn't know."

"You would have if you had called her back. I do remember that girl, she liked you."

"She cheated on her boyfriend. She probably thought I was a fling, too."

"Do you know that?" Kristi asked.

"No," Joey said.

"Could it be possible, knowing what you know now, that she was planning on dumping her boyfriend for you. Maybe the relationship had already been over and she was going to break up with him."

"Could be…."

"Let me ask you something if a guy treated one of your sisters the way you treat women, would you be okay with that? I told you about a casting director who raped me and you took a hit out on him and he's dead. I can't tell you who Ashley's father is because I know you well enough to know what you would do….you're a hypocrite, Joey."

"I'm not a hypocrite and you're just as bad as Lizzie."

"No I'm not. Ashley's dad knows he has a kid. It's entirely different and why did Shane have to be the one to end it."

"I thought she was psychotic. I'm not going to dinner tonight."

"Oh no, yes you are. You so are. You cannot stand her up and you'll also make Chandler and Monica look bad."

"I can't do this. I can't be a dad...I can't...I'm-I'm not ready."

"Uncle Joey," Ashley said, poking her head out of her room. "Are you sad?"

"A little bit."

"Mommy, can Joey come to the party?" Ashley asked.

"Party?" Joey asked.

"You want to practice being a dad? We're having a tea party. Ashley's making the decorations and the invitations."

"I will make an invitation. Hold on," Ashley said, disappearing back into her room.

"I can't do this," Joey said.

"You don't have a choice," Kristi said.

"I don't...what did Shane say to her to make her stop calling?"

"I don't know. You know, Joey….I've been going out with a guy. He's really nice. His name is Eric. He sweet and he knows my history and what I've been through and he loves Ashley."

"How long have you been dating him?"

"About eight months."

"Why haven't you told me?" Joey asked.

"I didn't want to say anything until I thought it was serious. It is serious and we talk about marriage and he even talks about adopting Ashley. I'm also working at a dance studio now, quit porn, quit stripping….I'm moving forward. Looks like a lot of your friends are….having babies, getting married and maybe this is a sign. You need to move on. It's not funny anymore. It's not cute that you forget to call women back or that you love 'em and leave 'em 'cause it hurts….those women were liking you. Lizzie was probably trying to call you to tell you that she was pregnant."

Joey nodded as Ashley walked out of her room with a piece of paper in her hand. She handed it to him and on it was a stick figure of a guy with black hair, his name and the words "please come" written in block letters. He picked Ashley up and plopped her next to him as she hugged him. She was cute. She'd be turning seven. Ben was seven and he was pretty cool too. Emma was only about six months old and gorgeous. It all just seemed like too much. He liked them but to be a parent? Lauren was also twelve. He had missed so much of her life that he wasn't sure what he could possibly do.

He had his tea party with Ashley and Kristi and soon he did have a chance to meet Eric when he arrived later on. Eric was funny, he was nice and seemed like a good guy for Kristi. Ashley seemed fond of him and they seemed like a family. He felt like an outsider and soon he glanced at his watch, it was seven pm. He was supposed to be at Torinos. He had lost track of time but he had to go. He had to face Lizzie. He needed answers.

"I'm gonna go," Joey said.

"Good," Kristi said.

"You're not staying for dinner?" Eric asked.

"No, I'm….apparently I have a child I didn't know about so I should probably go have dinner with the mom," Joey said.

"Good luck with that," Eric said.

"Honey, don't worry, I'll explain Joey over dinner and Joey go, don't blow her off again."

Joey nodded as Ashley hugged him. He walked out of the apartment, still unsure of what he was supposed to do. He began walking again. He kept walking. He knew he should take a cab and his phone kept ringing. He knew who it was and didn't want to answer. He eventually did have to take a cab and it when he arrived, he was thirty minutes late and still terrified. He grabbed his phone again and went to Chandler's number. He had never really done texting and it took him awhile to figure it out but he managed to send Chandler a text telling him he was outside. He couldn't go in. He could not face Lizzie. All those nerves kept returning. He had been safe at Kristi's, he could avoid it but this, this was where the answers would come and he wasn't sure he was ready for them.

"What the hell are you doing?" Chandler asked as he walked outside.

"I can't go in there. I know...I remember...it was the summer of '89 and...I was taking some acting class and she-she never mentioned a boyfriend. But...I thought it was just a summer fling thing. I wanted to go Los Angeles and try to act and...I left soon after that and I...she looked like Monica, right?"

"Yeah."

"I remember it...I've spent the whole day trying to remember and I do...and...she has a child?" Joey asked, giving him the short version. Kristi had helped him remember. He was flipping out again. Maybe he could go back to Kristi's? She would kill him though.

"She does."

"I'm Joey Tribbiani. I can't be a father."

"Maybe you can."

"She's twelve."

"Maybe it's time to settle down. Come on, you're thirty four. You're gonna be thirty five in two months. Maybe this is a sign."

"Why didn't she try to get in touch with me? Twelve years, Chandler. She had twelve years," Joey said, knowing he had told Shane to take care of it but still, why did she listen to Shane? He didn't even listen to Shane. If she was pregnant, she shouldn't have listened to Shane.

"You have to ask her that."

"I don't think she ever mentioned having a boyfriend. She certainly never mentioned you," Joey said. "Sorry."

"It's alright. It's been thirteen years. I'm over it. Although, kinda funny...you kinda did what I did with Kathy. You hooked up with my girlfriend and I hooked up with yours," Chandler mused.

"No...I don't really see that as funny," Joey said.

"Let's go inside. You can do this. I mean, if I can be a married man ready to have kids...you can talk to Lizzie and do this."

Joey nodded as he gave Chandler a quick hug. The two men walked inside the restaurant and towards the table. Lizzie and Monica looked like they had been talking when they noticed Joey and Chandler approach the table.

"Joey?" Lizzie asked.

Joey looked at her and it all hit him, all came flooding back. That summer of 1989. He had met her in an acting class.

"Lizzie...you never told me you had a boyfriend," Joey grinned, trying to make the moment less awkward.

"Well...yeah, he was out of town," Lizzie said.

"Do they know they're talking about me?" Chandler whispered to Monica as he sat back down next to her. Joey sat next to Lizzie. The tension was thick, no one quite knowing what to say to each other. He kept looking at Lizzie, looking over at Chandler and Monica. He hadn't a clue what he was supposed to say.

"Um...Monica and I were talking and I was telling her that I give her a lot of credit that you're clean and sober...and...yeah," Lizzie said.

"I helped too," Joey said.

"Yeah...both of them. Sorry, Liz," Chandler said.

"That's okay. I'm just glad you're healthy," Lizzie said.

"We all are," Monica said.

"So...Joey...you wanna see a picture of your daughter?" Lizzie asked.

"Yes...but why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you try to get in touch with me? Twelve years," Joey asked.

Joey was a little taken aback by the look on her face. She gave him a curious look that confused him.

"I wanted to do it on my own. I know I messed up and...'cause you never called back, I assumed you weren't ready to be a dad."

"I wouldn't have been...I'm still not, but..."

Lizzie reached into her purse and pulled out some pictures. She handed them to Joey, who began looking through them. She had long black hair, crystal blue eyes. She looked like Lizzie and he could see some of his features as well. He saw a picture of her grinning in a way that he did.

"She's beautiful," Joey said.

"Look, I'm not gonna ask you for money and we live in Tulsa...but um, if you want to keep in touch with her or get to know her...I can...we can arrange that," Lizzie said.

"I wanna know her. I should know her," Joey said, he wanted to know everything about her.

"I think we should go," Monica said.

"What?" Joey asked.

Monica glanced at Chandler who simply nodded as if understanding her immediately. No, they needed to stay.

"Yeah...I think...you need to take care of this," Chandler said. "Give me a call if you need it."

"Okay...and thanks guys," Joey said, almost defeated. Maybe they were right, he and Lizzie needed to talk without them. He needed to man up. Chandler and Monica walked out and Joey looked at her.

"Joey, do you not know?"

"What?" Joey asked, stunned.

"Do you know what happened? Why I never tried to reach out?"

"'Cause you said I didn't call back?" Joey asked, a little confused.

"Yeah….I mean, is it okay, that we're here together?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh my G-d, you don't know. Shane never told you?"

"Shane's dead," Joey said.

"Dead?"

"Yeah….for like twelve years. Drug overdose. Tell me what happened," Joey said, his heart sinking and getting that feeling again.

"You told Shane to take care of it."

"I did 'cause….'cause I thought you were being well-"

"Psycho?"

"Well, yeah….how did they take care of it?" Joey asked.

"You really have no idea, do you?"

"Please tell me."

"Okay, I guess after you told Shane to take care of it, he and Christopher and some other people came to my dorm. I knew I was pregnant, obviously, so I tried calling and you never gave me your number in L.A. ...well, one day I was in my dorm and there was a pounding on the door and I thought it was Chandler. We had just broken up and I figured he was like wasted and not realizing how loud he was knocking. He had done that before so I went to open the door and they shoved their way in. Shane and Christopher and I know it was them because I will never forget their names or their faces….or their guns."

"What?"

"They held me at gunpoint," Lizzie said, tears filling her eyes and he could feel his blood starting to boil. "They pointed their guns like inches from my head and told me if I kept calling you...well, they said other things but I don't want to repeat them 'cause it was vile but….yeah, the short version is that they held me there with the guns. I don't know if they were loaded but I'm assuming they were and I was...that's why I never reached out."

"I am going to kill him."

"Joey."

"Please believe me, that's not what I meant."

"My phone rang while I was there with them. The machine picked up and it was Chandler and he was obliterated and he gave his full name on my answering machine for some reason, he was sobbing and Shane heard it and I guess Shane recognized his voice or his name and asked where Chandler was and I said he didn't go to my school. I lied because I didn't want them to hurt him."

"Oh my G-d. I think I'm gonna be sick," Joey said.

"Remember that July 4th party?"

"Ummmm"

"Seriously?" Lizzie asked.

"It was 1989."

"I remember it all."

"Well, you're a better person than I am," Joey said.

"Chandler had gone to Israel and I decided to take an acting class. I had kinda known I wanted to break up with him. It wasn't healthy."

"I've heard stories over the years."

"And you still didn't remember me?" Lizzie asked.

"I think we've established that I'm an asshole," Joey said.

"Well, I wanted to spend that summer pretending I was single because I had fully intended to become single once he came back and I met you and I had fun. Although, you probably also don't remember that graduation party from acting class, the wrap party and there were was a waitress who annoyed you because she asked too many questions….who do you think that was?"

"I don't know."

"Monica."

"Oh….oh, and she knew you were cheating."

"Yes, and I took you to a July 4th party before I went to yours….we had two parties in one day and there were people there talking and they were my friends, they also knew I was cheating. Then when we went to your party, I recognized Shane from pictures. Chandler had shown me Shane's picture in his yearbook and Chandler and I met when we were eleven and when Shane did that to Chandler, I think I was one of the only people he told….so I recognized Shane. That's why I hated him immediately," Lizzie said.

"That makes sense," Joey said.

"That's also why I cried when we had sex. 'Cause I knew I had officially ended my relationship with Chandler and it was sad but I ended up losing you both and when Shane and Christopher came in with the guns…."

"I'm gonna have to kill Christopher. I swear to G-d, I did not know. I did not mean for them to do that. I went to Los Angeles and….I had thought I would forget about you and you would forget about me and it would be fine and...Shane died of an overdose and….I just….I don't know if I'm ready but I'm not sure I have a choice."

"You know, Lauren has a picture of Dr. Drake on her wall," Lizzie said. "She has a crush on Dr. Drake."

"I would put a stop to that immediately," Joey said, laughing a little.

"I'm not sure I know how. I'm trying."

"Tell me more. Tell me everything. First word, first...tell me about her."

"She's sweet and funny...smart...doesn't share food or hates sharing her food. Loves sandwiches and also likes reading about cars."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she's girly. She loves shopping and everything but she is a little bit of a tomboy. She likes dirt biking."

"My kid….oh crap, that sounds weird. I don't-"

"Hey, we can go slow. She doesn't know…"

"Tell me more about her, everything. I want to know. Were you….were you alone when you gave birth to her?"

"No, no...I had family. They hate you."

"Yeah, I can see that and when I tell my family, they'll hate me."

"My sister, my mom and dad were there. You know what her middle name is? Josephine. Lauren Josephine."

"Wow."

"My family thought I was nuts to give her that middle name but I did and I named her Lauren because I love that name….but I wasn't alone and soon after I started showing, I moved in with my sister and her husband and I would go to classes and they would take care of her. I graduated and then I started waitressing and bartending. I had wanted to be an actress but I gave that up. I've seen you over the years, Joey. I even once saw you at a play my friend was in. Kate...Miller?"

"Oh….Lizzie, I am so, so sorry."

"I know."

Lizzie began talking about Lauren and Joey held on to every single detail. He wished he had brought a tape recorder to record the conversation. This was his child. He had a child. It was too hard, so bizarre. He also kept thinking back to that day. They had held her at gunpoint. That just would not do. He couldn't just be okay with that. They talked until the restaurant closed and they continued their night, walking and when they reached her hotel, he wasn't sure what to do next. He walked her towards her room and while normally he'd suggest they spend the night together, he wasn't sure what that would be appropriate.

"I like this, Joey. It was good to talk to you."

He had truly told her everything and she had told him everything. He had never spent this much time talking on a date.

"Yeah. I wanna call you," Joey said.

"You have my number. I have yours."

"I don't know how to end this."

"We're not sleeping together."

"I know, that's why I don't know what to now," Joey said. "Do you want me to help you tomorrow? We can have breakfast?"

"It's okay, I gotta fly back to Tulsa early but I'll…I will call you when I get home."

Joey nodded. He really wasn't sure if he should kiss her or hug her or what. This whole evening had been literally life changing. Lizzie leaned in and hugged him and he breathed her in. He liked her. He wanted more of her but he knew the night needed to end.


	56. Chapter 56

**November 2002**

While the night ended with Lizzie, there was still more he needed to take care of, one last thing. Before heading home, he took a cab to Adriana's club. He walked into the club and immediately stormed towards the back office where he saw Christopher snorting lines of cocaine. He grabbed Christopher by the shirt and threw him up against the wall and down on the ground where he began punching him, striking him. He heard people yelling behind him, Christopher trying to shield himself from the blows as two security guards pulled him off Christopher.

"What the hell are you doing, Joey?" Adriana yelled as Christopher lay bloodied on the floor. Joey kept trying to catch his breath. He looked over at Adriana and noticed she had a black eye.

"What-what happened to your eye?" Joey asked.

"Nothing, I fell. It's okay guys, let him go, I got it," Adriana said to the security guards motioning for them to let go of Joey.

When they let go of him, Adriana leaned down to help out Christopher as the guards left the room.

"Are you okay?" Adriana asked.

"Yeah, yeah, what the fuck?" Christopher asked as Adriana helped him get up.

"Why is her eye black?" Joey asked.

"Whatever dude, gotta keep the little woman in line," Christopher said, brushing his pants off.

"He hit you?" Joey asked.

"It was an accident-" Adriana tried.

Joey lunged for him again as Adriana jumped out of the way. He held Christopher against the wall and this time Christopher tried punching back but he was so high, he could barely punch.

"What the hell is up your ass?" Christopher asked.

"Joey, stop, stop, boys," Adriana said.

"You fucking piece of shit. You know who I just had dinner with? The mother of my child," Joey yelled.

"What?" Adriana asked.

"Fuck," Christopher said as Joey threw him across the room, Christopher slid across the desk and landed against the wall on the other side.

"Remember Lizzie?" Joey asked.

"No," Christopher said, trying to get up when Joey walked around the desk and kicked him. He let out a grunt as he tried to fight back.

"Joey, stop it," Adriana said, pulling him back.

"Remember that time you and Shane held a pregnant college student at gunpoint?" Joey asked.

"What is going on?" Adriana asked.

"And you're gonna lay your hands on her," Joey said, pulling him back up. Christopher shoved him back.

"Get away from me, asshole," Christopher said.

"Can I ask you something?" Joey asked, trying his best to calm himself down.

"What?" Christopher asked.

"What happened with Shane?" Joey asked. "He was clean and he hangs out with you and dies. That Brian kid….fuck...and you're doing coke in here? Did you kill off Dan? Brian's boyfriend?"

"You know, I'm gonna go check on the club," Adriana said.

Joey looked over at Adriana and remembered she was an FBI informant. She was probably wired. She immediately walked out, shutting the door behind her.

"Did you kill him?" Joey asked.

"None of your business and you have a child?" Christopher asked.

"She's twelve. You held her mom at gunpoint," Joey said.

"You wanted us to tell her to leave you alone."

"Not at gunpoint. I missed twelve years and Shane…."

"I didn't put a needle in his arm, okay. It….he fell off the wagon. I came over, had stuff with me and I-hey, I liked that kid. I liked him more than you. He wasn't such a self-righteous asshole."

"I gotta go," Joey said.

He couldn't be there anymore. He had to go home, he had to talk to someone, he had to take a nap or go to sleep. He walked towards the door and watched as Christopher, bloodied from their fight, stumbled back to the desk and grabbed some cocaine out of the drawer, piling some on a little mirror. It made him sad. He hadn't really protected Shane. He had protected Chandler but he had never really thought to protect Christopher.

"Hey, Chris. Go easy on that stuff. I may think you're an asshole but I need you around to beat the shit out of you. Chandler and Ross, too easy. One punch and they're out like a light. I need you stick around."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, I know," Joey said as he put his hand on the doorknob and began to open it when he heard his name.

"I do miss him," Christopher said. "Really. He was my best friend. I didn't...it was terrifying. We did it, he shot up and then I think he took something else. I went to the bathroom or some shit like that and he was lying there. Needle in his arm and I panicked. I grabbed my shit and ran. There was nothing I could do. He was already blue."

"His girlfriend found him."

"I know. I'm sorry, man."

Joey looked at Christopher as he snorted a line. He didn't have the energy to punch Christopher. He did want to take the coke and throw it away but he was pretty sure Christopher would get more.

"Me too," Joey said, walking out of the office and into the club. He saw Adriana who walked over to him. "He really punched you?" Joey asked. Her eye looked bad.

"It's okay….what do you mean you have a daughter?"

"I'll talk to you later. I wanna go home. It's been a really long day," Joey said, pointing at her shirt and mouthing, 'wired' to her before walking off. He got in a cab and took it home. Once home, he walked into his empty dark apartment and immediately crashed on his bed, sleeping soundly.

It was a lot to process, every part of this was a lot to process. He did call Lizzie back the next day. It was just too much. He hadn't told his parents yet. He hadn't told anyone. He knew he'd have to tell, he knew it couldn't just be hidden forever.

"Hey, Joe," Rachel said.

"Hey," Joey said as he watched Rachel's reflection on the television screen. He had been staring blankly at it as she walked in carrying Emma.

"So….you're a dad?" Rachel asked as she handed Emma to him. He held her on his lap.

"I can't-"

"What happened?" Rachel asked. "Do you remember?"

"I'm trying. It was 1989. Summer and….I took an acting class and there was this girl who was hot-"

"Did she say she had a boyfriend?" Rachel asked.

"No. No, not at all. We had an amazing summer, but then I went to Los Angeles and broke off all contact and….she's twelve years old. Lauren. That's my daughter's name. Why didn't Lizzie ever tell me?" Joey asked although that was a dumb question. He knew why although she did still have twelve years? She hadn't known Shane had died. Had she been that scared? Yeah, she had. There were guns. She didn't know his world and she had gotten a lesson.

"Apparently she tried. You never called her back, Joe."

"So this is my fault?" Joey asked although, it did seem like it was.

"Well, kinda…..you never called her. I'm sure she called more than once."

"She cheated on her boyfriend," Joey said, trying to grasp at straws. He also did not want to tell her about Lizzie being held at gunpoint. Maybe he could make it less scary? He had already told Rachel so much that he was afraid he had gone too far.

"Yeah, and knowing what I know about Chandler and Lizzie's relationship in college, I don't blame her and wonder what took her so long. He was a horrible boyfriend to her. Ross was telling me that he put her through emotional hell and that even Chandler would agree he was an awful boyfriend. He also he cheated on her. He kissed me, remember I told you "

"I have a child," Joey said not particularly caring what Rachel was saying

"You do."

"What am I going to do?"

"Does Lauren know?"

"No. Liz hasn't told her so Lauren basically thinks she has a deadbeat dad. I don't….what do I do?"

"Return her phone calls? Call her back."

"I guess."

"And….you know, Dan was killed."

"Dan?" Joey asked, although he knew and didn't care.

"Brian's boyfriend. The one that was on Oprah who said that Brian bought drugs from Christopher. I thought you were going to talk to Christopher."

"I did."

"Well?"

"Didn't work."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't go on national television and tell the world that a mobster killed your boyfriend and then give the name of the mobster. I did go talk to Christopher, he told me to go fuck myself," Joey said.

He was truly starting to become annoyed by Rachel's constant line of questioning.

"Great. But Dan's whole motive was to have someone pay for Brian's death so…..I mean, my best friend died because of your cousin."

"No, your best friend is dead because he's a moron who bought drugs off a mobster because he got his panties in a bunch after a fight and so he decided to be an ass and take his own life," Joey said, knowing he sounded way too blunt.

Rachel glared at him, "way over the line, Joe. Way too far."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not."

"I am," Joey said truthfully.

"You know, Ross and I did research on you."

"You did?" Joey asked.

That seemed unnecessary. They had the information he wanted them to have. He was starting to get angry. He had way too much going on and who knew what was on the internet.

"Yep. We um looked you up on the internet and we looked up Tony Soprano and….we found out stuff."

"I wish you hadn't done that."

"Why not? We know so little about your past and how you grew up."

"I like it that way," Joey said although he didn't believe that they knew so little, he had probably told them way more than they should even know.

"We're your friends, we wanna know. Just like how we know everything about Phoebe and Chandler's lives growing up. What about you?" Rachel said.

"'Cause I've done a lot of crap I'm not proud of. I've made a lot of mistakes and you guys see me in one way and I want to keep it that way," Joey said, trying to hold himself back. He had told Rachel stuff. She knew all this already. How much more did she need to know? She could just leave him the fuck alone instead of trying to ask questions. His life was not a television show.

"I'm not going to change how I think of you. I will always think you're sweet and kind and one of my favorite people….and a pig who should have called Lizzie back."

"Well, there are a lot of women I haven't called back. What if I have like a basketball team out there or something? Should I call every woman I've ever slept with and ask if they have children," Joey said making a joke.

"Don't do that."

"Okay….and if I had known the reason Brian wanted the drugs, I would have done something. I just thought-"

"It's okay,"

Joey smiled as he played with Emma some more. He of course was not going to tell her more about that day. That he did know why Brian wanted the drugs but did nothing. He just wished they'd all stop. He wished they stop pressing but of course that would be asking too much because later that night he had another visitor, Ross. Ross walked into Joey's apartment and dropped a stack of pictures on his lap. He picked them up and began glancing at them. They were more pictures of Lauren. Where did Ross get these?

"What are these?" Joey asked.

"Your daughter. From a year old until about eight, before she moved to Tulsa. I did not know you were the father and I was the father figure."

"What?" Joey asked, confused.

"You cannot tell Chandler any of this. I...after Chandler and Lizzie broke up, I was still friends with her and I watched Lauren grow up and-and Liz and I were...especially after Carol and I divorced. It stopped when I started dating Julie but in those years between Carol and Julie, we were friends-with-benefits."

"Holy crap..we were friends and-"

"I know and I had two separate lives for many years. Lizzie wanted nothing to do with Chandler and did not want to even be in the same room as him and...she never said your name. Never mentioned your name. All she told me was that she had called you a lot, you didn't return the calls and then you told some of your mob friends to take care of it," Ross said.

"I did not mean for them to take care of it like that," Joey said, rather matter of factly. "I did not know they did...all I wanted was for her to stop calling."

"They held her at gunpoint, Joe."

"I know. I know….she told me when we had dinner and-why can't we tell Chandler that-they had dinner and she didn't say anything about you and she didn't mention you," Joey said, not really mentioning that he was pretty sure Chandler already knew Ross and Lizzie were friends. He mentally kicked himself for not asking Lizzie about Ross at the dinner.

"'Cause it'll hurt him. A lot….he-before my sister, he was convinced he was going to marry Lizzie and...he...he fucked up but…."

"She never mentioned she had a boyfriend."

"I know."

"You-you-" Joey said as he picked up the pictures and began looking through them, "you took her trick or treating?"

"I did and I went to her birthday parties."

"What was she like?" Joey asked.

"Pretty awesome kid, actually. She-she has your mannerisms. Apparently she grins like you….she doesn't share food. She would never share her Halloween candy."

"Why should she? It's her candy, she earned it….we've had this conversation before, haven't we?"

"Yeah, we have but I still didn't know. Joey, I did not know you were the dad."

"I know. I won't tell Chandler. You should probably tell him though."

"I will. Monica and Rachel know and don't tell Phoebe, please. Just…I lied a lot to him."

Joey didn't really want to tell Ross that he was being an idiot, that Chandler knew and thought it was weird that Ross wouldn't tell him but if Ross wanted to keep it a secret, he'd keep it a secret.

"Yeah. She's cute. Wow….I have a child. Man….can I keep these pictures?" Joey asked.

"You can. What the hell happened?" Ross asked.

"She was a girl that I met in my acting class and….she never mentioned a boyfriend. It just happened and I liked her but I cut off contact after the summer. I had wanted it to be a summer fling. I ended up moving to Los Angeles and she kept calling and calling and I kept getting calls from Shane saying this girl won't stop calling you and I just assumed it was some psycho and when I said take care of it, I did not mean at gunpoint. I was out of that world, Shane wanted to be in it and I'm pretty sure Christopher sold Shane drugs which caused him to overdose and die," Joey said purposely changing the story, he didn't want to tell Ross what Christopher had told him. He really thought it was frustrating how much Rachel and Ross were trying to investigate his life, "Christopher also sold drugs to Rachel's friend Brian….whom we know died. Please believe me that I did not want part of that world. Why do you think I moved in with Chandler knowing full well I couldn't afford this place. 'Cause when Brian was found dead in his apartment-"

"By Rachel."

"I know but I put it together that Brian got the drugs from Christopher, I didn't know Rachel...but why-I had to get out of there and I-I-it makes me sick to think they did that and that's part of my family," Joey said, he just wanted them to all leave him alone.

"It's alright, Joe. I know you didn't mean for them to take care of it like that. I know you ran from all that. Have you talked to Christopher?"

"No. 'Cause….'cause I'm afraid of what I'd do. I missed….she does kinda look like me," Joey said, purposely not telling Ross that he had already talked to Christopher. He felt this might lead to a whole other conversation and some things needed to be kept hidden. Instead, Joey began looking at the photos.

"I used to tell her that her dad was best friends with Aladdin and Simba and….she loved Jasmine from Aladdin for a long time. I mean, if you sent her something with Aladdin now….even though she's now twelve...you'd probably impress her."

"I did work at Disneyland. I wasn't Aladdin."

"How did you get out of it? Your family? The mafia stuff?" Ross asked.

He wanted to stop telling this story. He wanted to stop telling all the stories. He wanted to tell Ross to go research things on the internet. Instead he told the story yet again.

"I didn't want in and I had many chances. My life up until right before I began dating Lizzie was headed in that direction. I was set going into the mob but then….one day, I saw someone get killed. Right in front of me. Just watched them bleed and I threw up and….I couldn't do it. I couldn't take someone's life. I couldn't-even-I sat on that couch….please don't tell Rachel this, I told her I didn't know and I was vague because I know how much that kid meant to her and she would hate me but I was sitting on that couch with Brian. I didn't really realize it at the time but he was sitting there and Christopher gave him drugs and he rambling about his best friend marrying his brother and she didn't love him and his boyfriend breaking up with him and it was a lot and I had a feeling I knew what he was going to do with those drugs and I didn't stop any of it. Then a few days later, it was on the news that a female had found a dead body in an apartment and it was Brian's. I beat up Christopher and I...I don't know what to do now."

"Be a dad," Ross said.

"Lizzie hasn't told Lauren that I'm her dad."

"Get to know her anyway. Send her stuff on Aladdin or Jonathan Taylor Thomas."

Thanks, Ross. Thanks for stepping in and thanks for listening. We've never really talked like this, have we?"

"No. Rachel did tell me there was a hit on Chandler once," Ross said.

"Yeah...she shouldn't have told you-" Joey said, feeling angry. She told him? How could she tell Ross?

"I'm not saying anything."

"When he slept with my sister and my sister got super pissed and orchestrated a hit and I got it called off. He has no clue how close he was and that's-when we were driving around looking for him that last time-that's what I was pissed off about. I fucking saved his life."

"You did. It's a terrifying world you live in, Joey."

"Yeah. So….tell me more….tell me about Lauren from ages one through eight."

"I'll tell you what I know," Ross said and Joey listened. He listened as Ross told stories about watching Disney movies and going to her birthday parties, so many stories. He knew Ross had no clue that Joey was Lauren's dad but he couldn't help but feel angry again. These were moments he should have been a part of, he should have been the one to take her trick or treating or go to her birthday parties. She should have told her and he knew he had to tell his family but when would be an entirely different manner.


	57. Chapter 57

**November 2002-December 2002**

With this news of him having a child, also came more news from Tony that they would be doing an intervention for Christopher. Tony had found out about the heroin and had decided that the Sopranos and the Tribbianis should come together to do an intervention. On the train to Jersey, Joey was on the phone complaining to Chandler, wishing he could come instead. He had thought Chandler could do the intervention.

"Why are you in stupid Tulsa? You can come to the intervention," Joey said.

"I can't. First, I haven't been sober long enough to lead one. You need a professional. That's why I sent you the number of an interventionist. I got it from my sponsor and second, I can't go because I slept with one of your sisters and also the history of Chanoey prevents me from being impartial."

"Jandler."

"It'll be fine."

"My parents are gonna be there. I should probably tell them about Lizzie. Dammit," Joey said.

"You know an intervention isn't supposed to be about you."

"I know...but you know we didn't do one for you."

"You kinda did. That night, it was scary. You hitting me. Rachel who cries at everything not crying, Monica in hysterics….maybe it wasn't a traditional sit down intervention but it scared me. Depends on the person, really. That night is what did it for me. That night is going to keep me sober. I can't relive that."

"Why can't you quit your damn job," Joey said, "I just….and then-okay and Ross and Rachel were looking up stuff on the internet about the Sopranos and-just let me tell you what I want to tell you."

"I get it."

"I've already told you guys way too much anyway," Joey said.

"Hey, did Liz mention Ross when you guys talked?" Chandler asked. Joey let out an annoyed snort. He still hadn't brought up Ross with Lizzie. He kept meaning too.

"No. No, but Ross and I talked and he gave me pictures of the times he was at her birthday parties and the times that he took her trick or treating. I'm not supposed to tell you because I think he thinks you're gonna be mad."

"I don't really give a shit."

"I know but whatever, play dumb if he says something."

"I will," Chandler said.

"But it angers me, though….he was there. He-I know he didn't know Lauren was my daughter but he watched her grow up. He did father things with her and while we were all friends. He took her trick or treating and went to her birthday parties and-and they all went to Disneyland together once. You know the story how Ross and Carol did it behind the wooden Dutch children on 'It's a Small World?'"

"Yeah...it was when Ross and Carol were married?"

"Yes, Lizzie and Lauren were on that trip."

"That was a honeymoon trip," Chandler said, "that's odd."

"Yeah, Ross said it was Carol's idea...and still, he had no clue she was a lesbian. But he did stuff with her."

"Now, you can start."

Joey let out a sigh as the train took him to Jersey. He was nervous to see his parents, nervous to see Tony and Christopher. What would he say to them? He was a dad now? His parents would be pissed, he was pissed. When the cab dropped him off the Sopranos home, he walked in and his parents immediately approached him.

"Honey," Gloria said, hugging him.

"How are you son?" Joseph Senior said.

"I have to talk to you before we start this. Has it started?"

"No, they're setting up. What's wrong?" Gloria asked. "Do you have prostate cancer? You should start getting that checked."

"No, no, that's not it," Joey said, motioning for his parents to follow him into the kitchen. "Um….okay, I don't know how to say this but….I'm a dad. About twelve, thirteen year ago….I dated a girl named Lizzie and um, it was right before I went to Los Angeles the first time and um….I went and she called a lot, she called Shane and I's place in New York and um….I never called back. The-the reason she called was apparently because she was pregnant with my child. Her name is Lauren and she's twelve," Joey said, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out pictures. He handed them to his parents.

"What is wrong with you?" Gloria asked.

"We have a grandchild….why did she wait so long?" Joseph Senior said.

"She was um...Lizzie...she called a lot and I told Shane to take care of it and get her to stop calling and they did by holding her at gunpoint," Joey said.

"Gunpoint?" Joseph Senior asked.

"Yeah and they freaked her out so much that's why she never tried to get in touch."

"What is wrong with you? So I have a granddaughter and does she know about you?" Gloria asked.

"No. I'm talking to Lizzie and eventually we'll tell Lauren and then I'll introduce her to you," Joey said.

"When are you gonna grow up? You're gonna be thirty five," Gloria said.

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," Joey said.

They were interrupted by the interventionist telling them it was now time for the intervention. They all sat in a circle. He sat next to Adriana. Her eyes looked a little red and puffy.

"You wired?' Joey whispered.

"No."

Christopher soon arrived and the intervention began and quickly escalated with Christopher lunging at Tony, yelling at him, screaming, telling him he would die before he hit forty. This did not happen when Chandler hit rock bottom, that was for sure. This was a rough intervention. Joey got up to tear Christopher off Tony and ended up shoving him out of the room and into the kitchen.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Joey asked, yelling at him.

An intervention? Please, Soprano, you'll probably drop dead of a heart attack at fuckin' fifty two," Christopher screamed into the living room.

"Screw you, Christopher," Tony yelled back.

"Hey, hey…" Joey said, trying to keep him calm, "you know...maybe Tony has a point, maybe you should try rehab."

"Are you kidding me, Tribbiani?" Christopher asked, almost stunned by the suggestion.

"I don't wanna lose you, man. Believe me, I think you're a sick fuck who belongs in prison. I think you should have called the fucking cops when you saw Shane lying dead on our couch. I think you are one of the worst people I've ever met in my life but….you're one of the only people who gets it, you know. I mean, the bozos I hang out with think this is all soap operas and shit and they look up crap on the internet and ask me the same questions about it over and over and once again, please don't get me wrong, I love them more than I love you but we get it. We're cut from the same cloth and maybe rehab isn't the worst thing. It would make you better with Tony and you hitting Adriana? Yeah, that won't fly with me. I've done shit, guarantee you I will never do that."

Christopher let out a sigh as he looked at Joey. He wondered if he was making a difference, he just wasn't sure. Christopher was hard to read. He wasn't like Chandler. He was harder to get through.

"I feel bad about Shane. Seriously, I do."

"I know," Joey said.

The two men shared a hug before walking back into the living room. Tony kept staring at both Christopher and Joey. He felt like they were kids again. It made him nervous but the ending was happy when Christopher did agree to rehab. Maybe this could be new a chapter. Maybe he could talk to Lizzie and see about finally telling Lauren that he was her father. He parents were insisting on it, both still rather angry with him.

That Christmas, Chandler was still in Tulsa while the others gathered together in Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel was sitting with Phoebe and Emma and Phoebe was talking to them about her newest boyfriend, Mike. Joey had not really checked in with Phoebe about Mike, hadn't really discussed with her how any of it was going. He felt a little guilty but he kept thinking about Lizzie. There were phone conversations but he was actually missing her.

"You're all giddy," Rachel grinned.

"I know and he said for New Years, he has something special planned," Phoebe said.

"Awwww...I'm so going to live vicariously through you. My husband won't be here for New Years," Monica said as she walked towards Phoebe and Rachel.

"Who am I gonna be with for New Years? I'm a thirty two year old single mother," Rachel said.

"We'll just kiss each other," Monica joked.

"What?" Joey asked, suddenly perking up from across the room where he was staring out the window.

"Nothing, Joey," Rachel said. "You know, Mon...why doesn't Chandler just quit this damn job? I mean, he hates his job. He's hated his job for...how long has he had it?"

"Eleven years," Monica said.

"Wow and he's in Tulsa for a job he hates and that company just seems like an awful company to work for. I mean, they forced him to move without a raise and they...I don't know," Rachel said.

"He's a coward, that's why he won't quit," Phoebe said.

"Phoebe, you have to be nice to Chandler in 2003," Monica said, letting out a sigh.

"Yeah, you don't like Chandler anymore," Rachel said, teasing.

"I do too. I like Chandler," Phoebe said.

"No, you don't," Joey grinned, looking at Phoebe.

"Yeah, you hate him," Ross said as he walked towards the chair and sat down.

"What? Wait, do you all think I hate Chandler?" Phoebe asked to which the rest of them all said yes to. Phoebe let out a sigh and continued, "Okay...but seriously...alright, let me ask you. I asked Mon this when Emma was born. He ran out before the wedding. He has screwed us all over many times. How do you guys forgive him? Don't give me, 'oh, I just do.'"

He was getting so bored of this conversation. So tired of telling Phoebe to get over it. Perhaps fatherhood was making him less patient.

"You know, I was thinking about that...I mean, it really sucked what he did but and...here's my thing, we always make comparisons between you and Chandler and we say how you two are so similar because of how sucky your backgrounds are but they're really not similar. You had to learn survival skills, Pheebs. You had to learn how to live to see the next day so you could take the crap and just put it aside because you had to find something to eat or whatever...Chandler had no one protecting him. That's why he keeps pulling this crap. It's how he protects himself. It's why he keeps telling jokes. It's why he keeps trying to fuck things up with us. He's trying to protect himself," Rachel said.

"That's why I keep forgiving him," Joey said, "come on, he has screwed me over a lot. He hooked up with my sister, he kissed my girlfriend, he fell asleep at my movie premiere...he forgot to give me that message about the show I was on. He's fucked up with me a lot. But I'm not letting him push me away. He's my friend. My brother and that's it."

"That's how I look at it too. He keeps wanting to see how far he can push us because I think it would be easier for him to deal with us leaving. I disagree. I don't think he'd crumble if we'd all left, it's us staying that he's not sure how to deal with," Ross said.

"See...you just gotta look at it that way," Monica said.

"I do love him guys...it's just-" Phoebe said.

"Hey guys...it's snowing," Joey said, he had gotten bored of the conversation and concentrated on the snow outside. Soon the others joined him as they began to watch the snow blanket the city.

"Merry Christmas, you guys," Chandler said.

The group turned to look at him, stunned. Chandler was standing in the doorway. Monica ran to him and hugged him.

"It's a Christmas Miracle," Joey remarked.

"What are you doing here?" Monica asked.

"I quit," Chandler said.

"You finally quit your job?" Ross asked.

"Yep...it was a stupid job. Look, I love my life right now. I got the best wife, forgiving and patient friends...the most gorgeous niece in the world," Chandler said as he pointed to Emma sleeping soundly in her carrier, "and Em, we are still trying to get you a cousin...I've also been clean and sober for twenty months. But I hate that job. I've hated it for eleven years. I wanna be happy in every part of my life and that includes my job."

"I can't believe you finally quit," Rachel said.

"I did," Chandler said.

"So what do you wanna do now?" Rachel asked.

"Not a clue," Chandler said. "But I know I don't wanna do that."

"Oh my G-d...I think I like you again," Phoebe said.

"Thanks, Phoebe," Chandler said as Monica kissed him again. The six then walked towards the window to watch the snow fall. They were complete. This felt good. It felt nice for them to finally all be together.

"You actually just said you love your life right now?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah...I mean, it's not good enough yet, but it's pretty damn close," Chandler said.

"Good. I'm sorry," Phoebe said.

"Me too," Chandler said as he hugged Phoebe and gently kissed her on the head. The group held onto each other as they continued to watch the snow. The moment was interrupted by the ringing of Joey's phone.

"It's Lizzie," Joey said.

"Oh...um, before you take that, I may have accidentally told Lauren that you were her dad," Chandler grinned.

"What?" Joey asked, giving Ross a look before glaring at Chandler.

"Merry Christmas," Chandler said.

Joey glared at him as he flipped open his phone and put it up to his ear. He had done what?

"Hey, Liz. What's up?" Joey asked.

"Hey….did Chandler make it safely to New York?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah, Chandler's here...he's enjoying the last few moments of his life."

"He told you?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah, he told me," Joey said as he walked off towards the kitchen table and sat, " so she heard?"

"She knows. She's upset. I tried to explain but-"

"Can I talk to her?" Joey sked..

"I don't know," Lizzie said.

"Let me talk to her, please?" Joey asked.

"Hold on," Lizzie said as he waited. Soon, he heard Lauren's voice on the other end.

"I hate you," Lauren said.

"I know but please-"

"No, I have your poster above my bed….now, I don't. I tore it down," Lauren said.

"Listen, please, please-"

"No, no, this is not fair. Where have you been for twelve years?" Lauren asked, crying. "Yes, my mom told me but then why-did they not have phones in the olden days?"

"Well, it was 1989. Not really the olden days."

"I don't care."

"Lauren, I'm so sorry. I-I especially didn't want you finding out that way. I'm sorry and yes, they did have phones in the olden days but I was a jerk and your mom tried to track me down and please do not be mad at her. This is all my fault."

"I hate you so much right now," Lauren said.

His heart broke with how much she was sobbing. He hated that. He hated that he had caused this girl pain.

"I know."

"You had twelve years. "

"I know."

"Here's my mom, I don't wanna talk to you," Lauren said.

"Joey?" Lizzie asked.

"Come to New York again, please."

"I don't know. You can come to Tulsa."

"Please, and I also told my parents so they want to meet you and Lauren and I'm so sorry."

"I know you are. Let me calm her down. Okay. It's gonna be a long night."

"Well, maybe I should fly out to Tulsa right now?"

"No, Joey. Let me call you tomorrow, okay?" Lizzie said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Joey said as he hung up.

He stared at his phone as Monica and Chandler walked over to him and sat on either side of him, comforting him. He felt like the lowest of the low. He wished he could go back, he could just have called her back. If only he had done that.

"I'm sorry man, I did not mean to blurt it out," Chandler said.

"Lauren hates me and I don't blame her. I don't blame her at all. How do I do this? How do I fix this?" Joey asked.

"I don't know," Monica said.

"How do you not know. You always know," Joey said.

"Because I didn't know you in 1989. I would have told you to call her back. If she's calling that much, maybe there's a reason."

"Apparently, you were the annoying waitress at the acting class wrap party," Joey said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"I was interning for a catering company and I saw Lizzie was all over this one guy….Joey was the guy," Monica said.

"I don't know how to do this. I'm….how do I-I can't-I have to be in her life," Joey said.

"You can't….she knows who you are….you can't back out now," Monica said.

"Maybe I should go to Tulsa. Liz said no but…."

"Give her some space tonight," Monica said.

"I hate that...fuck-oh," Joey said, his phone ringing in his hand. He flipped it open, "hello?"

"Wanna tell you before you hear it from anyone else. Carmela and I have decided to separate," Tony said.

"It's Christmas Eve," Joey said.

"Yeah, don't worry, I'm at Svetlana's," Tony said.

"Who is Svetlana?" Joey asked.

"My girlfriend. Carmela just went nuts-"

"You know, Ton...I can't talk right now. I'm dealing with a lot."

"Yeah, I heard. Happy Father's Day," Tony said.

"I'm not in the mood, I'm hanging up. I'll talk to you later. I'm sorry about you and Carmela."

"Yeah, I'm good...it was a long fight."

"Oh, Merry Christmas Tony."

"Merry Christmas kid," Tony said.

Joey hung up and looked at Monica and Chandler.

"Tony and Carmela just separated. Tony's at his girlfriend's right now and I am a dad. You know...I don't...2002 has kicked me in the nuts," Joey said.

"I'll get you something to eat," Monica said, patting him on the shoulder as Chandler sat next to him, comforting him. Joey kept staring at the phone. This was different. This was all so different. He had started 2002 being perfectly fine in his bachelorhood but now it seemed 2003 had other plans in mind and it didn't seem like the universe cared whether he was ready or not.


	58. Chapter 58

**January 2003**

His heart beat wildly out of his chest as he paced JFK. It had been an insane holiday. Phone calls were long, tears were shed and he managed to convince Lauren and Lizzie to come to New York for his thirty fifth birthday. His birthday was on a Thursday that year so they flew out the weekend after to visit Joey's parents. His parents wanted to meet Lauren and Lizzie and Joey wanted to see them. He especially wanted to meet Lauren. He wouldn't be bringing them to see the other five, just thought that might be too much, especially with the history between Lizzie, Chandler and Ross. It would be one weekend because Lizzie didn't want Lauren missing school. So he had one weekend, one weekend to convince Lauren that he wasn't a monster. To make up for twelve years, he wasn't sure how to make up for it. Ross had told him that Lauren loved Aladdin and Jonathan Taylor Thomas so he went out and bought an Aladdin DVD and some DVD's of Home Improvement, put them in a basket and wrapped it up, hoping that would be okay. He then waited. He wasn't sure what he should say or what Lauren should call him. He just wanted this so badly to go right.

"Joey?"

He jumped and let out a gasp. He had been so wrapped up in his own head, he wasn't paying attention. He looked up and saw Lizzie and next to her was Lauren. They were both carrying large duffel bags with them and with one look at Lauren, he could tell instantly that this was his child. She was tiny with long black hair, crystal blue eyes, he could tell immediately. She was not smiling, instead looking at the floor.

"Um, hi….hi," Joey said.

"This is Lauren," Lizzie said, putting her arm around her. "Wanna say hello, Laur?"

"No, not really," Lauren said.

"Forgive her, she's twelve," Lizzie said, trying to make a joke.

"It's not 'cause I'm twelve."

"I bought you a present," Joey said, looking over at the chair. He picked up the basket and handed it to Lauren, "Ross told me that-that you like Aladdin and Jonathan Taylor Thomas so I got you DVD's."

"I liked them when I was seven," Lauren said.

"Lauren," Lizzie said.

"Thank you," Lauren said, rolling her eyes.

"I borrowed Monica's Porsche-"

"Monica has a Porsche?" Lizzie asked.

"She got it from her dad. I thought I could use it and make myself seem like one of those cool dads," Joey said.

Just then Lauren let out a snort and grinned in a way threw him for a loop. It was the grin that both Chandler and Ross had said reminded them of Joey, his sideways grin. She had that sideways grin.

"You got her to smile," Lizzie said, hugging Lauren.

"Still mad," Lauren said.

"Let's go to dinner. I made reservations at the Lindenwood Diner….they have the best sandwiches-"

"I like sandwiches," Lauren said.

"Yeah, I know," Joey said, "and they have the best desserts."

"I like desserts."

"And we can get our own desserts, we don't have to share," Joey said.

"I hate sharing food," Lauren said.

"Me too...in fact, once I was on a date with a girl and I ate her whole dessert while she was in the bathroom, I still regret nothing," Joey said.

"I remember once we went somewhere and you yelled at me for taking a French fry off your plate," Lizzie said.

"Yeah," Joey said. "Look, Lauren….tomorrow you'll meet my parents and we'll hang out tomorrow….but...tonight, you wanna go to dinner and just talk?"

Lauren nodded as the three walked out towards the Porsche. They drove in silence towards the restaurant and once seated, it was still an uncomfortable silence. He was trying, hard but he didn't know what he could possibly say.

"The Philly sandwich looks good," Lauren said. "Oh, the heart attack sandwich."

"You're not getting that," Lizzie said.

"Oooo, I might get that," Joey said, it was a huge sandwich with bacon, eggs and lots of cheese. He kept looking over the menu before looking up at Lizzie and Lauren. He couldn't bear to eat sandwiches in such tension, maybe the talking needed to be taken care of first. "Liz, Lauren...can...you know….maybe we should talk first? Maybe…"

"I don't really wanna talk," Lauren said.

"I kinda don't believe you," Joey said.

"You don't know me," Lauren said.

"I know, but...okay….with permission from your mom, you can ask me whatever question you want. Anything."

Lauren looked at him and then at Lizzie as if she were contemplating this.

"I won't get grounded? Or get in any trouble?" Lauren asked.

"You sure about this Joey?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah, she deserves some answers," Joey said, "I can take it."

"Okay, go ahead Lauren….you will not get in trouble," Lizzie said.

"Okay….what the fuck?" Lauren asked finally after thinking it over.

Joey and Lizzie looked at each other, both letting out a snort and a laugh at the same time.

"Actually, not a bad question," Lizzie said.

"But really? What happened? Did you not want me?" Lauren asked.

"No, no, this….this has nothing to do with you-" Joey said.

"But it has everything to do with me. You missed so much and if-I mean, Mom….would you have ever told me?" Lauren asked.

"Yes, I just wanted to wait. I thought I was doing the right thing. I swear, I thought I was protecting you," Lizzie said.

"And Lauren, none of this is your mom's fault. It is completely my fault. I didn't call her back. Your mom called the place I was living at the time but I moved to Los Angeles and I thought….it would be a fling and your mom would forget and she kept calling so I told my roommate to take care of it and he did and apparently he did it in a way that scared your mom," Joey said.

"How?" Lauren asked.

Joey looked at Lizzie, wondering how much he could tell. He didn't want Lauren to hate him more that she already did. Although, he did know that she would probably meet Tony Soprano at his parents so maybe he could tell.

"I have family….I'm related to Tony Soprano," Joey said.

"Who?" Lauren asked.

"Crime Family. Like the mafia….I'm-I'm not part of it but when your mom and I dated, my roommate and a cousin of mine who is in the mob, held your mom at gunpoint and told her never to speak to me again," Joey said.

"Oh my G-d, mom….what-"

"I'm okay, sweetie," Lizzie said, gently comforting Lauren said. "Also, Joey is not connected to that world...right?"

"No, no...I'm Doctor Drake," Joey said, "and I heard you had a crush on me."

"Ewww, I don't now. I tore down your poster...although I was kinda sad you didn't win a Soapie. I thought you should have won," Lauren said.

"You watched that? And you were rooting for me?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Lauren said.

"I was rooting for the guy who survived his own cremation," Lizzie said.

"Why do you women act like that's so special," Joey said.

"Yeah, Mom….why didn't you root for Da-Joe….oh…" Lauren said, looking at him. "I'm sorry."

"No, no...you can call me whatever you want," Joey said, before realizing what he said, "I mean, wait, let me take that back. You can call me Joe, Joey….or Dad, if you would like….I am really sorry. None of this...I wish I had called your mom back but I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. I did hear you had Ross, though….although I am cooler than him. He'll agree with me."

"I haven't talked to Ross since we moved to Tulsa," Lauren said.

"Yeah, he kinda fell off the Earth. I mean, he's still friends with Chandler and you, I guess, but when he moved to Tulsa, he kinda broke a few promises," Lizzie said.

"When did you move?" Joey asked.

"Like '98," Lizzie said. "He was getting married."

"Oh," Joey said, remembering the time period. Emily. Ross was dealing with Emily "He's no longer married to Emily. That marriage ended….um, I'm not sure how much I should tell you so I'll you that it had nothing to do with you. He was going through a rough patch. He had to move in with Chandler and me for a bit so I would go easy on him."

"Is he okay?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah, he is now. Just….he'll explain everything. Although, he did tell me he would take you places. He was kinda your father figure….he's a good guy," Joey said.

"Yeah, he used to say that um….that my dad was on adventures and he was traveling around the world. I just wanted a dad. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that you didn't call back and I'd have friends who tell me about their dads and all the cool stuff they'd do and…Father's Day would come and go. It made me sad...and I love my mom and she's amazing but….it's not fair," Lauren said.

"I know."

"Thank you for the gift, though," Lauren said.

"I want to apologize but I know that's not enough. It's nowhere near enough."

Lauren looked at her mom and back Joey. He wished he could tell if he was doing the right thing, if he was saying the right thing. He had never thought he'd be at this point. He kept watching Lauren's face for clues. Was she still mad?

"I still think you should have won the Soapie over the guy who survived his own cremation," Lauren said.

"I thought so too," Joey said, laughing. She was giving him a chance. That was all he wanted, a chance.

"I also liked MAC and Cheese," Lauren said.

"You did?" Joey asked.

"I did not," Lizzie said.

"You were not the targeted demographic," Joey said.

"Who was?" Lizzie asked.

"No, no….I watched it and it was awful but it was like, how bad is this gonna get….I have to keep watching," Lauren said.

"You clearly understand my art," Joey said.

"It's not art," Lizzie said.

"So...tell me about….about school, what classes do you like? Friends, boyfriend-" Joey said.

"She has no boyfriend," Lizzie said.

"That's 'cause you won't let me. Alex asked me to go to the movies with him and you said no which was totally unfair because his mom said she'd drop us off," Lauren said.

"Didn't you kiss Chandler when you were eleven?" Joey asked.

"No, I didn't," Lizzie said.

"What?" Lauren said, "Mom, you kissed a boy when you were eleven?"

"No, I did not," Lizzie said.

"Yeah, yeah, he told me this story. He was so afraid you were gonna stop kissing him that he stood really still while you kissed him," Joey said. "I love story. It cracks me up. I could totally see him doing that-"

"Joey," Lizzie said.

Joey looked over at Lizzie who was glaring at him. He bit his bottom lip, realizing that perhaps she had not wanted him to reveal that to Lauren.

"You want me to shut up now, don't you?" Joey asked.

"Kinda," Lizzie said.

"So the guy that came for dinner, the tall guy? You dated him," Lauren asked.

"Yeah but….yeah, that was him. We met when were eleven and dated on and off until college when we became official and then we broke up...because of your father," Lizzie said.

"Hey, I no idea what was going on….still kinda don't but you know, you don't want to go out with Alex. I've heard he's a total douchebag," Joey said. "I heard he eats his own boogers and still sleeps with a night light and not gonna lie, Liz, but I think Chandler may have done the same thing."

Lauren's mouth dropped as Lizzie laughed and Joey immediately high fived her. He loved that he got them both to laugh. The tension from dinner soon melted away. It was surprisingly easy. Bizarre to him. Lauren was his child. She was tiny, like Lizzie, but could eat like Joey. He was impressed. She liked school which he didn't get. She was a good kid, sweet and liked that her anger melted….at least a little.

He got home late that night and first stop was Monica and Chandler's. He walked in and noticed them, in their pajamas watching television and wrapped up in blankets and drinking tea.

"Hey, grandma and grandpa," Joey teased as he tossed the Porsche keys on the counter.

"Hey, hey, how did it go?" Chandler asked as Monica turned off the television and they got up to join Joey at the table.

"It was….she's definitely my kid. I mean, that's….tomorrow, we're gonna meet my parents," Joey said.

"Oh, already," Chandler said.

"They already have a kid together, I think it's fine," Monica said.

"Good point," Chandler said.

"She's a good kid. She's definitely my kid. I mean, I just...I don't know. I wasn't expecting…."

"I know but now….you just gotta do it," Monica said.

"I think I'm gonna offer child support, I mean, I should right? I'm making money now, I can offer something," Joey said.

"That would be nice," Monica said.

"She really is a great kid. I missed so much….I wonder what it would have been like if I had been there from the beginning? Now, she's almost done," Joey said.

"No, she's not. She's twelve. The worst is yet to come," Monica said.

"I had fun in school, maybe you two didn't do it right," Joey said.

"No, you didn't do it right," Chandler said. "Mon's right….the worst is now and I was molested as a child….and took LSD."

"She's gonna have mean girls. I hope she doesn't have a Rachel. Nancy, Mindy and Sharon were awful but they were like upfront with their awfulness. There was no I'll be nice to you when no one was watching. That was Rachel. So mean girls and then boys…crushes….what if she dates a boy like how you were in junior high and high school?"

"Oh….oh, I don't want that," Joey said.

"Yeah, you can help," Chandler said.

"I can...I can….by the way, Mon...was Rachel really that bad?" Joey asked. He knew the stories but he just could not imagine it.

"Oh yeah. I mean...it was love-hate. I love her but….G-d, fuck I hated her."

"She was Two Face," Joey said.

"Yeah. I love her now...but okay, you gotta...you get to be Lauren's dad," Monica said.

"I wanna do this right," Joey said.

"You will," Monica said.

He would have to. He had no choice. 2003 would have to be the year, the year when things changed for him. He was being forced into adulthood it seemed. He would have to figure out a way to get there. Maybe a relationship was in order? Maybe not?

The next night would be spent with his family. This time, he took Phoebe's cab this time thinking that maybe parking a Porsche in his neighborhood might not be the wisest idea. He pulled up and found a spot close by, but before getting out, he looked at Lauren and Lizzie who were both sitting in the back.

"Alright, I just want you two to know….Lauren, my parents are going to expect you call them grandma and grandpa immediately and they're gonna hug you as soon as you walk through the door, tell you that they need to feed you….my mother is not going let you go for the rest of the evening."

"Okay, alright….I can handle that. Actually looking forward to it. I've never met my other set of grandparents."

"They're Italian American….loud….they're going to ask you the most inappropriate questions and they will show you every embarrassing photo of me they can find," Joey said.

"They sound nice," Lauren said.

"Ehhh," Joey said, opening the door before Lauren stopped them.

"Um, wait, before we go...the mob people? The people that held my mom at gunpoint? Are they gonna be there?" Lauren asked.

"No," Joey said, matter of factly.

"No?" Lizzie asked.

"I called Tony and Christopher...I told them given what happened, maybe they shouldn't come. I thought it might freak you out and I wanted this to go well...and my parents will freak you out enough," Joey said.

Lizzie seemed almost touched by that. Lauren seemed happy as well.. He had made the call that morning, calling Christopher and Tony and telling them they shouldn't come. This was too important to him and Lizzie seeing one of the guys who had apparently held a gun to her head didn't seem like the best way to do that. Joey, Lizzie and Lauren got out of the cab and walked up the steps towards his house. He barely had to knock when the door flew open and Gloria Tribbiani was standing on the other side.

"Joey, oh….you must be Lizzie," Gloria said, as she ushered the trio into the house. Gloria hugged Lizzie and then stood in front of Lauren, taking her in, "oh, aren't you beautiful. You're Lauren, right?"

"Yeah," Lauren said.

"I apologize to both of you on behalf of my son. He's an ass," Gloria said.

"Thanks, ma," Joey said.

"What? Oh, sweetie, Lauren, look at you….call me grandma and do you like lasagna?" Gloria asked.

"I love it actually, it's one of my favorites," Lauren said.

"How did I know?" Gloria asked, "okay, come with me…you need to eat more."

With that Gloria whisked Lauren off towards the kitchen. Joey looked over at Lizzie who seemed to be quite pleased with the exchange.

"Your mom is cute," Lizzie said.

"Ehhh," Joey said. "You want me to show you the rest of the house?"

"Sure."

The house was already filled with people so he introduced Lizzie to his sisters, his brother in laws, his nieces and nephews, his father. Everyone hugged Lizzie and apologized for Joey. Soon, he took her upstairs towards his room. He walked in, it really hadn't changed that much since high school.

"Wow," Lizzie said, walking in and sitting on the bed. Joey sat next to her. He was still nervous.

"This is it."

"Yeah...so you really told Christopher and Tony not to come?"

"I did."

"How did they take it?" Lizzie asked.

"Nothing new, I've just gone Hollywood...whatever...I didn't...I thought seeing Christopher-"

"Thank you."

"I hope...I hope Lauren doesn't still hate me," Joey said.

"No, she doesn't. She's twelve though. It goes in waves. She may hate you tomorrow, don't take it personally."

"I don't know how to do this."

"You're trying. I can see that and so can Lauren."

"I hope so and I'm sorry if I wasn't supposed to tell about Chandler or...I don't wanna step on your toes and-"

"Hey, you're not. I'm raising a good kid. She's pretty strong."

"You did….she's amazing. So...what about you?" Joey asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, okay, obviously you dated Chandler. I know about your relationship with Ross-"

"Oh, G-d."

"So….and then there's me?"

"Yeah, there's you. I've dated. I had a boyfriend in Tulsa but it's hard, you know. You gotta be ready to jump and be a parent and she has to like you. I made sure she was never exposed to a parade of men. I know that's how Chandler grew up, his mom bringing a different boyfriend home every week and I didn't want that. I wanted more for her."

"Did you ever pursue acting again?"

"No, I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Lauren."

"So? It's like Kristi. Remember Kristi?"

"Oh, yeah. She was sweet."

"She has a kid and she also gave up acting. Why give it up?" Joey asked.

"Ross used to say that. He came with me on her first day of kindergarten."

"He did?" Joey asked.

"Yeah and I remember we dropped her off and he said I should go back into acting and I...I didn't really try."

"Why not?" Joey asked.

"'Cause it's different. You can leave and go live in Los Angeles and act. I couldn't unstrap my pregnant belly. She was my responsibility."

"Well, I'm here now and I will take some of the responsibility. Do you need child support?" Joey asked, wondering if that was the best way to broach that topic. He didn't know how to bring that up and Lizzie looked a little mad that he was asking.

"No, I don't need your money. That's actually a little insulting. I've done this on my own for twelve years."

"I can tell. You've done an amazing job and I know you don't need it. I'm not offering because I think you need it. I'm offering because I'm her father," Joey said.

She looked at him as she reached for his hand. He still wasn't sure he would ever get used to saying it but he so desperately wanted to help her. He wanted to make sure she was okay, that Lauren was taken care of.

"Unclench," Joey said.

"There you guys are," Lauren said as she ran into the room. "Okay, you have to get downstairs, there's a lot of lasagna down there."

"Lauren, do you think your mom should try to pursue acting again?" Joey asked.

"Joey," Lizzie said.

"Oh my G-d, yes. I've been saying that my whole life," Lauren said.

"If I give you my agent's number, will you call her?" Joey asked.

Lizzie looked a little uncomfortable but Joey wanted to push. He wanted to do something. He didn't care if it sounded forced or if he was putting her on the spot. She needed to do this.

"Please, mom...you so have to," Lauren said.

"Okay, okay….give me her number," Lizzie said.

"Yay," Lauren said as she leaned in to hug her mom, "and maybe Dad can get you a part on Days and we can move back to New York."

Lauren realized what she said and looked over at him. She had said it, she was excited sure but hearing it just sounded amazing.

"I'll try," Joey said as he got up and held his hand out to pull up Lizzie. As they walked down the stairs, they truly felt like a family. It just felt different. Very different. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, he watched as both Lizzie and Lauren were completely enveloped by his family. He wasn't ready but he couldn't leave them. He couldn't forget them.

That night, he walked them up to their hotel room. Lauren was still talking about how much fun she had. He figured she would although he did think his parents came on a little strong. Walking towards the hotel room, there was that same awkward moment returning. The first night, he didn't hug Lauren good night and she didn't hug him but this night? She hugged him. His own daughter was giving him a hug. She smiled at him as she disappeared into the hotel room, letting Lizzie and Joey talk in the hall.

"We're gonna leave in the morning," Lizzie said.

"Okay….what now?" Joey asked. "Are we-"

"Taking it slow. I'm still her mom and….I gotta know you're in this."

"I'm serious about the child support."

"That's not what I need. I mean, okay, yeah but….what I need...I need to know you'll call, that you won't vanish. 'Cause Joe….if you do this time, she's already getting attached."

"I know. So am I."

Lizzie smiled at him as she gently squeezed his arm. She leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. He turned his face and her lips caught his. Kissing her was like remembering the past, remembering that summer when he held her in his arms. When he had wanted to lay like that forever with her, he had been nervous, so nervous but she made him feel comfortable. Suddenly, Lizzie stopped the kiss. She looked at him and shook her head.

"No, no," Lizzie said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"I'm going back to Tulsa."

"Yeah. Long distance?"

"You promised that once before, remember? Joey, I need to know you're gonna stick around this time. I don't….okay, when we go back to Tulsa and leave you in New York, are you gonna not see any other girls? Not gonna sleep with any other girls? I need to go slow."

"But….when am I gonna see you again? When am I gonna see Lauren again?" Joey asked.

"You will. Call me. We're not dating, I'm not considering us in a relationship….especially not with you here and us there."

"I'll prove it to you. I'm not a jerk."

"I know," Lizzie said, this time hugging him before walking back into her room and closing the door behind her. He let out a sigh as he kept walking out towards the cab. This was all so new to him and he hoped he didn't mess it up. As he began to drive home, those nerves started to fade as he realized something. Lauren had called him, Dad. He felt kinda warm about that. Being someone's dad? He kinda liked that feeling. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, dialing. When he heard Ross finally pick up, he responded with a sentence.

"She called me dad," Joey said.

"Congrats, how did it feel?" Ross said.

"Amazing."

"Yeah, it's pretty amazing."

"And hey, thanks."

"For what?"

"For being there at the beginning. You took her to her first day of kindergarten?" Joey asked.

"I did and you don't need to thank me. Just be there now and I know you will be."

"You know, you're gonna have to call 'em. You hurt my kid," Joey said.

"I know. Did you tell them anything?"

"No, no, just told them you weren't married to Emily anymore, you went through a rough patch and they should go easy on you….but you can fill in the details," Joey said.

"Thanks."

"Alright, I'm headed home."

After saying their goodbyes, Joey continued the drive back to the apartment. He kept trying to wrap his head around everything that had happened in the last few months. This was his new normal, being a father. He had never expected this turn of events but maybe it wouldn't be so bad.


	59. Chapter 59

**February 2003**

He had never worked as hard on anything as he did in his relationship Lizzie and Lauren. He called, he talked to Lauren, he talked to Lizzie. He had worked so hard. He wanted to be involved and while there was part of him that wondered if he was calling too much, he wasn't sure he cared. He wasn't sure how much was enough. He just wanted to them to know he was in this.

"It was so not cheesy," Joey said, over the phone to Lauren. She was critiquing his most recent performance on Days of Our Lives. He loved how she was becoming his harshest critic. He loved how she had notes for him on his acting.

"It's not cheesy, it's called smell the fart acting," Joey said, protesting.

"That's not a thing," Lauren said.

"It is a thing," Joey said.

"No, 'cause it's cheesy," Lauren said.

"What's wrong with cheese?" Joey said.

"Nothing but it's weird. Don't be weird on TV," Lauren said. "I mean, it doesn't make me look cool if my dad is weird on TV."

"Isn't it cool that I am on TV?"

"Ehhh, I mean, can you get me Hayden Christensen's number? Or Daniel Radcliffe? Because like they're really cool and cute."

"I don't know them."

"Can you get to know them? 'Cause I'm turning thirteen in a couple months. Can you get them to Tulsa?" Lauren asked.

"I will try my best but if it doesn't work, I'll send you pictures of them," Joey said.

"I bet they wouldn't be weird on TV. I bet they wouldn't do smell the fart acting, I bet you they don't even know what that is," Lauren said.

"I bet you they do...so Lauren... how you doin'?" Joey asked, smiling. He had learned recently that it annoyed Lauren when he said that so he could not resist the urge anytime they were on the phone. It used to mean something completely different, now it was just him teasing his daughter which he did think was good parenting.

"That's not how you say it," Lauren groaned.

"Yes, it is," Joey said.

"It's 'how are you doing', not 'how you doin', that's grammatically incorrect. Didn't you ever take English classes in school?" Lauren asked.

"How you doin'?" Joey asked, ignoring her dig. He was just having way too much fun.

"That's not how you say it," Lauren said, loudly.

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"You're annoying."

"How you doin'?" Joey asked.

"Dad!" Lauren yelled.

Joey started laughing. He loved when she got pissed at him like that. He especially loved when she called him Dad. He was getting used to that.

"So what is there to do in Tulsa?" Joey asked, changing the subject.

"Ice skating at the Oiler's Center," Lauren said, "it's my friend, Samantha's birthday and she's having an ice skating party and Alex is gonna be there and guess what he told me? He said that he wants to skate with me. Isn't that cool?"

"No, no...I don't like Alex."

"You can't-no….."

"You know what you should ask Alex?" Joey asked.

"What?" Lauren asked as if she knew what the question was, her tone already annoyed.

"How you doin'?" Joey asked.

"No, 'cause then he'll think I'm stupid because that's not how you say it. It's not good grammar, ask anyone," Lauren said.

"Okay, I will but I don't like Alex."

"You don't know Alex," Lauren said.

"Doesn't matter. Where's your mom? I need to discuss Alex."

"Oh, she's getting ready for her date. Hold on," Lauren said.

That hit him a bit. Lizzie had a date? But they were talking. They were making progress? How could she have a date? That threw him for a loop.

"Hello?" Lizzie asked when she picked up the phone.

"You have a date tonight?" Joey asked.

"Yeah….one of Lauren's friend's moms decided to set me up."

It just seemed wrong to him. She shouldn't be going on dates. They had kissed. Weren't they supposed to be a family?

"Oh….but what about us?" Joey asked.

"What about us?" Lizzie asked.

"We kissed...last month?" Joey said. He had thought that had meant something, He thought there had to be an us.

"Yeah."

"Well?"

"There is no us," Lizzie said, letting out a sigh, "look, visiting you was healing. It helped me and Lauren move forward and start forgiving you and I know you're trying and Lauren appreciates it and I appreciate it but Joe….twelve years. I'm not just get over it just because you're back and you want to be a dad. There isn't going to be an us...at least not now."

"We kissed," Joey said.

"I got caught up in the moment."

"But I-there should be-we're a family," Joey said.

"No...I mean, maybe but...it's been just me and her for twelve years. You've been part of her life for a month. It doesn't work that fast."

"I know but I think that we should-"

"No, no you don't get to make that choice. You lost that chance when you didn't call back and I was held at gunpoint by your family and friends. You're doing...it's only been a month."

"Yeah."

"I love that you want to be there and I see what you're doing but it's not gonna be on your timetable. It's gonna be by mine….look, I've been hurt a lot by men. Two of those men are your best friends….but what you did...that's gonna take awhile. That's not like dating a guy with severe addiction problems or having a close friend who promised he'd keep in touch and didn't…..you should've called back," Lizzie said.

"I know. Who's the guy?" Joey asked, his heart sinking a little, but reluctantly giving in. He knew she was probably right. This time it couldn't be what he wanted. They couldn't go at his pace, he'd actually have to prove it to her. He had never put in the work but thought maybe she was worth it.

"His name is Greg. His son is in seventh grade with Lauren. His wife passed away."

"Oh. Are you gonna marry him?" Joey asked.

"I-I'm not Ross," Lizzie joked.

"Nice," Joey said, laughing.

"I thought so. Ok, look, I want you to know that I see you're trying but...you've got a lot more to prove. I mean-"

"I know," Joey said, "I hate Greg….and I hate Alex."

"You can hate Greg and actually Alex is a sweet kid."

"Keep her away from guys like me," Joey said.

"Oh, you know I will."

Joey wanted to say a little more but a knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. It was a little odd someone was knocking at his door, "come in."

Rachel opened the door, holding Emma and a suitcase. She was crying as Emma buried her face into Rachel's neck.

"Can I move back?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, um….Liz, can I call you back?" Joey asked.

"Sure," Lizzie said as Joey hung up and he walked over to her, hugging her and taking Emma from her arms.

"What happened?" Joey asked as he led her into the apartment. She sat on the barcalounger as Joey still held onto Emma.

"We got into a fight. I had a happy hour with co-workers and I slept with one of them. This guy Gavin, it meant nothing….I don't know what is wrong with us? Why can't this work? Is it not meant to work?"

"I don't know," Joey said.

"You were on the phone with Lizzie?"

"Yeah...it's okay."

Rachel seemed so sad. He wanted to help and first was getting Rachel's room set up for a baby. It would be odd living with a baby but maybe this could be good practice for some day in the future when he was ready to have children. Maybe it would be with Lizzie? That thought didn't scare him and actually felt rather perfect. They had already made one child and maybe having another one with her would be complete and he'd stick around that time. He tried to push those thoughts out of his mind, feeling like he was getting way too ahead of himself. Especially when he was slowly realizing how difficult it was living with a baby. Emma cried a lot and Ross and Rachel acted like a divorced couple. He wondered if he had been around for Lauren, would he and Lizzie have done the same? Would they have acted like the same way? He also wondered about Lauren as a baby, did she cry all the time like Emma? Did Lizzie have to take care of her alone? He felt guilty again thinking about what had happened. He should have been there.

Tony Soprano had decided to have a barbeque at his house which was strange enough because he had thought Tony and Carmela were separated after their big fight during Christmas. He would go though, despite how awkward it would be. He also thought maybe he'd take someone. He had never taken anyone from the group to one of the Soprano barbecues. Sure, Ross and Chandler had met Christopher and Kristi. Phoebe had also met Kristi. None of them had actually been to the Soprano home and he thought maybe he'd take Rachel. She was still depressed about Ross and she always had questions. She asked more questions than any of them. She really did treat his whole world like it was a soap opera so maybe he could include her.

"Come with me," Joey said as he walked into the apartment, Ross had Emma for the weekend and Joey made the decision. He would take Rachel to this barbeque.

"Where?"

"Come."

"Where?" Rachel asked.

She sounded rather annoyed. He let out a sigh and walked towards her, sitting on one of the stools.

"Alright, you know how you keep asking questions about my past?" Joey asked.

"Yes."

"My Uncle Tony is having a barbeque at his home in Jersey. You wanna be my date?" Joey asked and he got the reaction he was hoping for. Her eyes widened as she stood up. She began squealing and showing more excitement than he had seen from her in awhile.

"Yes, wait, is anyone else coming?"

"Nope. Just you and me."

"Yes, oh that will be so awesome. I'll be around mobsters, So cool," Rachel grinned. "Wait, wait….are you going to have me whacked because I am so not dressed for that."

He was slowly starting to regret it but he couldn't take it away from her now. Maybe some ground rules were in order?

"Come with me and here's the thing….do not mention anything about whacking or mafia or mobs….you're going to a barbeque."

"Can I at least ask what they do for a living?"

"They're not going to tell you that," Joey said, wondering what she expected to happen.

"Okay," Rachel grinned as she got up and followed Joey out the door.

From the cab to the train station to the train ride all the way to Jersey, Rachel could barely contain her excitement and he couldn't help but think it was cute. She kept talking about mobster movies and asking him if Tony Soprano was like Don Corleone. He wondered what that must be like, to see it through someone's eyes who had no clue. To Rachel, the rest of them, it had Hollywood glamour attached. To him, it had lost that glamour a long time ago. He listened as she kept talking. She didn't stop until the cab pulled up to the Soprano home. Rachel looked at the home and look of amazement spread across her face. The Soprano home was huge although he had always assumed there were probably a lot of homes like that in Long Island.

"Alright, we're here."

"Crap, Joe," Rachel said, staring at the home.

"And do not mention anything about Dan or Adriana being an i-n-f-o-u-r-m-e-n-t ."

"Did you just misspell informant?"

"What did I just say?" Joey asked, there was no time for spelling lessons.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, laughing a little as they walked towards the front of the house and Carmela immediately greeted them.

"Joey, sweetie, you came in from the city," Carmela said.

"Aunt Carmela, this is my roommate, Rachel," Joey said.

"Nice to meet you, honey. She's pretty, I love your hair," Carmela grinned.

"A lot of people do," Rachel said.

"Come on in, you two," Carmela said as she ushered them inside.

"How are things?" Joey asked, his voice low although he did notice Rachel was too mesmerized by the house to pay any attention to Joey and Carmela.

"I'm okay….but Joey, please don't be like Tony," Carmela whispered.

"I'm not," Joey said.

"What about Lizzie?" Carmela asked.

"I'm talking to her, I'm not gonna forget her this time."

"Good," Carmela said as she led Joey outside towards Tony standing by the grill. Tony walked over towards him, hugging him while wearing sausages around his neck like a scarf.

"Are we eating those?" Joey asked, pointing to the sausages.

"Yes, is this the baby mama?" Tony asked, pointing to Rachel.

"Tony," Carmela admonished.

"No, I mean, she is a baby mama….just not mine...wait..that one...my baby mama is in Oklahoma," Joey stuttered.

"What's the matter with ya'?" Tony asked.

Joey had fight back his desire to ask the same question but with Rachel there, he knew couldn't. There were always secrets in the Soprano home, nothing was ever what it seemed. From the outside, he would never be able to tell that Carmela and Tony's marriage was crumbling and that was just how the Sopranos liked it. It was how they lived, forgetting what had happened or pretending it didn't.

"She didn't tell me she had a kid," Joey stressed, "oh, and this is Rachel. She's my roommate."

"And someone else's baby mama," Rachel joked as she reached out her hand to shake Tony's but instead Tony gave her a hug. Joey let out a laugh as he noticed Rachel trying desperately not to breathe in the smell of sausages.

"Hey, I thought you were in a coma," Meadow teased as she and AJ approached them.

"Oh, no, no….Meadow, he's now a woman," AJ said.

Joey laughed, yeah, the jokes would never die. He had figured he had no other choice but to accept it as he introduced them both to Rachel.

"How are things, Doctor Drake Ramoray?" Meadow asked.

"Amazing and I am not a woman, I simply have the brain of one," Joey remarked.

"I'm gonna go cook my sausage," Tony muttered as he walked off towards the grill.

"I watch Days every single day. I am so proud of you," Carmela said.

"Me too. It's so amazing to watch. So much better than the milk infomercial," Meadow said.

"Well, you do have to admit, that was an amazing infomercial," Rachel said.

"Oh it's my favorite thing ever," Meadow said.

"Awww, there's the big TV star. When you gettin' me on Days of our Lives?" Christopher asked.

Ever since Christopher has gotten out of rehab, he seemed to become even more annoying. He had moved on from calling Joey Mrs. Hollywood and now was more determined than ever to get Joey to help him jumpstart his career in Hollywood which was something Joey would never do. He certainly wouldn't get him a job on Days, not after everything Christopher had done. Not after Christopher had gotten him fired the first time, did he forget that? Although maybe that shouldn't shock him….he was starting to realize forgetting things was a genetic trait in the Tribbiani-Soprano world.

"Well, Christopher….they just rehired me. I don't….I don't….I'm finally out of the coma," Joey said, purposely using his name instead of just calling him a dipshit which is what he wanted to do. He looked over at Rachel who let out a gasp. Her expression changed and he wondered if standing there, looking at him, if she realized how serious his world was.

Joey saw her sitting alone by the pool later in the day. He kept watching her as she kept looking around at everything. He knew she was overwhelmed.

"You know, this sobriety thing is amazing….." Christopher said, drinking a beer as he walked over to him.

"You're not sober," Joey said, motioning to the beer.

"Beer doesn't count. Seriously, I think you think should get me on Days. I could be a writer," Christopher said.

"Okay, do you really think I'm gonna do that? There's not a fucking chance in hell I will do that," Joey asked, before walking off towards Rachel. He needed to check in with her. He quickly grabbed a couple beers and walked towards her. He knew he should probably check in with Tony about all the Carmela stuff but Rachel seemed more important. He sat next to her and handed her a beer.

"So how are you?" Joey asked as he took a drink.

"It's weird. It's….there are people that have killed people here."

"Yep."

"Tony seems really nice."

"Tony is amazing. He's like a big teddy bear," Joey said although he wasn't sure how true that was anymore. He was beginning to doubt anything was amazing about Tony Soprano.

"This is a bizarre world."

"Yeah it is and thank you for not saying anything to Christopher about Brian or Dan."

"I wouldn't….so, you and Lizzie. Where are you with that?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know."

"Send her anything for Valentine's Day."

"I thought I'd call," Joey said.

"Really?"

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do…."

"Send a card."

"Maybe. How are you doing?" Joey asked, immediately thinking of Lauren mocking him.

"I don't know. I don't know what-how I'm supposed to feel. I feel like….I shouldn't have hooked up with Gavin but Ross and I aren't dating. When did this all get complicated?"

"Beats me."

Joey wrapped his arm around Rachel and she fell into him. She let out a sigh as she took a sip of her beer.

"I'm scared," Rachel said.

"Of what?"

"Of the six of us. We're changing, Joe. It's getting more and more complicated. You and Lizzie, Phoebe and Mike, Chandler and Monica, me and Ross. Each pair with its own drama and complications and...how much longer will we be able to hold onto each other?"

"As long as possible," Joey said, truthfully.

He loved that she admitted to that. He was scared too. He loved those five. Those five had changed him in ways they probably didn't even know. He would have ended up exactly like Tony if it hadn't all begun with Chandler deciding to not kick him out after he couldn't pay rent.

"I hope."

"Rach, we're a family. Nothing is going to change that."

Rachel nodded as they continued to sit. He wondered if he could tell her, if he could be more honest. She knew so much, would it matter if he told her more?

"I saw you that day," Joey said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"The day Brian died. They put it on the news and I went to the address and I saw you. I saw you grab his body, I heard you wailing. I'm so sorry. I should have done something."

"You were there?" Rachel asked.

"That's what made me want to move out. You. That's why I needed to change this. That's why I ended up living with Chandler. This could have been me. Tony and Carmela are actually separated. AJ's a fuck up. He got expelled, I don't know what the hell he does all day. I….I saw you and I realized-"

"Joey….it's not your fault," Rachel said. "Brian made that choice….just like you did, just like I did. We make choices and I'm so glad you made the choice you did because my life would be awful without you."

"Very true….because then if I wasn't here, you wouldn't have the opportunity to stalk soap opera stars without a fear of a restraining order."

"Exactly," Rachel said. "But I don't want you to blame yourself. Maybe you could've stopped it, maybe you couldn't have. Maybe I could have called him the next day or gone to his apartment and made up….there are so many could haves but….please stop blaming yourself."

"I'm trying….G-d, I will never forget that and I'll never forget hearing that cry….of course, it didn't help that I soon realized that's just what you do naturally," Joey teased. He wanted to make her laugh. There was no reason to keep dwelling on the past, there was nothing he could do.

"Shut up," Rachel said, playfully elbowing him.

"I walked in the other day and you were bawling watching television," Joey said.

"The puppies were in cages and looked hungry and-"

"Change the damn channel and then you won't cry," Joey said.

"You don't know me," Rachel said.

"Aww but I do," Joey teased.

He laughed as Rachel fell into him. In a party of mobsters, this really was truly where he wanted to be. He wanted to sit with Rachel. He wanted to laugh with her, be near her for as long as he could. He wondered how long this would last? He hated that maybe things were indeed changing.

Well, almost. He hated watching Phoebe getting her heartbroken. Things had been going well with Mike. Sure he hadn't asked a lot of questions, maybe he should have checked in more. He had been so busy with Lizzie, he felt a little guilty not asking and he felt even worse watching them break up right in front of them. Mike had been planning on moving in with Phoebe but when he said he never wanted to get married, she changed her mind. He knew how much that had killed her. When Mike walked out, Chandler looked over at Joey.

"I'll be right back. You make no calls," Chandler said as he walked out to follow Mike. Mike and Chandler were high school friends so maybe he would leave it to him. Ross walked in just as Chandler left and the rest of them ran to comfort her.

"I wanted marriage. I wanted normal and….I should...I wanted to get married, why doesn't he wanna marry me?" Phoebe asked.

"Pheebs," Monica said.

"So that's Duncan….Mike...is there ever going to be a guy who wants to marry me?"

"Oh, honey, yes," Rachel said.

"I want what Monica and Chandler have," Phoebe muttered.

"We all do," Rachel said.

"Oh, no you don't. Please, you want to be married to Chandler?" Monica asked.

"Of course not….I just wanna be married to someone who loves me as much as Chandler loves you," Phoebe said.

"I'll marry you," Joey said, he totally would.

"Joey, you're so sweet," Phoebe said.

"No, I'm serious. Let's do it," Joey said.

It actually could work out perfectly. He loved Phoebe and they were a good team, of course he would probably have to explain stuff to Lizzie but still...it could work.

"Didn't you propose to me like nine months ago? Who are you now? Ross?" Rachel asked.

"Thanks, Rach," Ross said.

"You're welcome," Rachel grinned.

"Pheebs, you will find someone, I promise," Monica said.

"Hey, Phoebe," Chandler said. They turned to see Chandler walking back into the apartment.

"Where did you go?" Phoebe asked.

"It's...nowhere," Chandler said, as he placed his arm around Phoebe.

"Did I ruin your friendship with Mike?" Phoebe asked him.

"Don't worry about it, it wasn't much of a friendship. You know I choose you," Chandler said as he hugged her, tightly, gently kissing her on the top of the head.

"I found it," Ross said. He was holding up the Hot Dog Movie.

"No," Rachel whined which made Monica laugh.

"You got the DVD?" Chandler asked.

"It's got deleted scenes and extra footage," Phoebe said.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, this is gonna be awesome. Will you sit with me?" Chandler asked.

"Yes," Phoebe smiled as the two walked over to the couch and plopped down.

"At least, can we make slow death punch?" Rachel asked, which was met with silence and everyone looking at Chandler. The last time they had it was when Rachel had admitted to sleeping with Chandler's dad when she was twenty one and although they were getting better at being normal in front of him when it came to drinking, they would never feel fully comfortable.

"Yes, you can make slow death punch," Chandler said.

"You sure?" Monica asked.

"Yes," Chandler said.

"I have Red Bull in the fridge," Phoebe said.

"You do?" Chandler asked.

"Of course...so when you come over, you always have something to drink," Phoebe said.

"You do like me," Chandler grinned.

"I do," Phoebe said as Chandler hugged her and placed his arm around her. Phoebe let out a sigh as she placed her head on his chest. Ross began setting up the movie as Joey sat on the other side of Phoebe.

"I'm sorry, Pheebs," Joey said.

"For what?"

"I should have checked in more and I'm sorry to bringing Mike into our lives," Joey said.

"It's okay….I'm okay….it's just….I want normal," Phoebe said.

"You'll get it...um...but tonight, if you want me to spend the night..." Joey said.

"Are you asking her for sex right in front of me?" Chandler asked.

"I'm asking to comfort a friend," Joey said.

"You are a weird, little man," Chandler said and lowered his voice, mocking Joey, "Hey, Pheebs...you feel sad, let's just do it."

"I am being a friend," Joey said.

"You're being an ass," Chandler said.

"Which is my plan because I know you love my ass," Joey said.

"Boys," Phoebe said, laughing.

"You wanna kiss it?" Joey asked, making kissy sounds.

"No, I wanna kick it," Chandler shot back.

"You two are the best," Phoebe said laughing,"and thank you for the offer but no, Joe...I don't think that's wise. Also, no calls."

"I'm not making any calls...geez, know a few hitmen and suddenly you get a reputation," Joey said.

"I love you two so much," Phoebe said as she reached for both of their hands. They both leaned in and planted a kiss on her cheek which they both knew she loved. Soon they all settled into watch the movies with Chandler drinking his Red Bull and the rest of them drinking the slow death smoothies. It was sitting there, he began to wonder how many more nights like this they'd get? How many more moments just the six of them? He wanted to capture them all or to have everything remain frozen in time.


	60. Chapter 60

**April 2003-May 2003**

He had always assumed it would be a matter of time before Chandler just exploded. He always thought Chandler held everything in and numbed everything with alcohol and drugs but without that there to protect his feelings they were inches away from the surface. He just never assumed that the explosion would happen in the middle of Central Perk. Chandler had gone with Ross to Vermont to celebrate the fact that he had gotten a job as a junior copywriter at Miller Benanti Advertising. He was supposed to take Monica but she was slammed at work, Joey was a little disappointed he wasn't asked although he had stuff too. He did hear about the trip. He heard that Ross had finally told Chandler the worst kept secret ever that he was still friends with Lizzie and surprising no one but Ross, Chandler didn't care at all and knew. Chandler and Ross had apparently called Lizzie to mess with her but everything had been going well until Phoebe started in.

Phoebe was telling Chandler about how she had played in front of Monica's restaurant. Joey could see the anger starting to build up in his face. He knew Chandler well enough to know when the sarcasm became anger. Joey really wished Phoebe would stop pushing with Chandler. He wished she'd know what would piss him off or wouldn't do the things she knew would anger him.

"Wait...you played in front of Monica's restaurant?" Chandler asked, grinning at Phoebe with a grin that made Joey a little uncomfortable.

"She didn't want me to...but I did anyway," Phoebe said.

"Huh, when are you getting your license back?" Chandler asked.

"I don't know...soon, probably," Phoebe said.

"Hmmm, yeah, that was money well spent, right?" Chandler asked.

Joey's heart dropped. He knew what was coming. Phoebe's license had been suspended for reasons Joey wasn't quite sure about and that's why she was playing in front of Monica's in the first place. Joey knew Chandler felt sometimes like Phoebe didn't care about her career, like it was no big deal and to him it was. He looked over at Ross and Rachel who seemed uncomfortable as well.

"Excuse me?" Phoebe asked.

"Chandler," Monica said.

"Wow...suddenly, I want a cookie," Rachel said.

"Me too," Joey said.

"I'm right behind you," Ross said.

Joey, Rachel and Ross got up and immediately walked towards the counter, leaving Phoebe, Chandler and Monica alone on the couch.

"Should we do something?" Rachel asked, looking at them.

"I think this needs to happen," Ross said.

"Who asked you?" Rachel asked.

"You did," Ross said.

"Shut up," Rachel said.

Joey looked at both of them, seriously they were going to have a fight in the middle of Central Perk. How about one fight at a time?

"What is your problem?" Phoebe asked.

"Nothing," Chandler said.

"Guys, you've been getting along so well...let's not ruin it," Monica said.

Joey felt bad watching Monica sitting between them. He wondered if he should do something but part of him thought Ross was right. There had been so much tension building up between Phoebe and Chandler for years, maybe this needed to happen?

"You obviously have a problem with me," Phoebe said.

"I have no problem with you...and it doesn't really matter anyway because I know I'll somehow end up apologizing because it will be my fault," Chandler said.

"Oooo," Joey whispered.

"Right out of the gate," Ross said.

"Seriously," Joey said.

Boys," Rachel admonished.

"Chandler, I've had a very difficult few months. Mike and I broke up and..."

"I know...just...when I hear stories like when you got fired or you know...you got your license temporarily suspended...it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside that I paid for your entire education using my money. Nothing makes me feel better or more appreciated."

"And he's going for the jugular," Joey said.

"Going right for where it hurts," Ross said.

"You guys aren't actually narrating this right now, are you?" Rachel asked to which both Joey and Ross shushed her.

"Chandler, this has nothing to do with you," Phoebe said.

"It has everything to do with me," Chandler said.

"I tell you all the time that I appreciate what you did for me," Phoebe said.

"Show me," Chandler said. "Don't say it. Show me. Don't get fired or suspended-"

"Joey gets fired all the time and you pay for his stuff," Phoebe said.

"Well, that's unnecessary," Joey said.

"It's true," Ross said.

"It's still unnecessary," Joey said.

"Seriously," Rachel said.

"Rach, you're being rude," Joey said.

"Really," Ross said.

"I-I-I don't know…" Rachel said.

"That's different. He's an actor, actors get fired from stuff and what I've spent on head shots and acting classes comes nowhere near to what I spent on you," Chandler said.

"I can't...you really are gonna hold the trust fund money over my head for the rest of my life?" Phoebe asked.

"If you keep fucking up like this I will," Chandler said.

"Oh, ouch, Bing," Joey said.

"Yeah, he went there," Ross said.

"Chandler," Monica said.

"It's been a rough few months for me. I'd like some compassion," Phoebe said.

"She does have a point," Joey said.

"Yeah, but still…" Ross said.

"I can't...I have to go," Chandler said, shaking his head and getting up. He began to walk toward the door.

"Oh, look...it's Chandler doing what he does best. Walking away and avoiding the problem completely," Phoebe said which made Chandler turn and Joey saw just pure anger in Chandler's eyes. Everything was silent.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? This is gonna be my fault, again? I have been sober for twenty-six months...which by the way, thanks, guys and I am so sick of this. I have worked so goddamn hard to prove myself. I'm the only one of the six of us that has never been fired. I quit my job and somehow went from an unpaid internship to an associates job. So obviously, I am doing something right. I am sick of apologizing and Phoebe, this isn't my fault. You lost your job. You lost your career. I'm sorry about Mike, really I am...but you're gonna go in front of Monica's restaurant and try to make money by singing? You're gonna sabotage her career? Newsflash, Pheebs...your singing sucks. They didn't doctor your voice in the Smelly Cat video because you were Celine Dion."

"Chandler," Monica said getting up and walking towards him. Joey. Ross and Rachel looked at Phoebe who was also stunned. Chandler exploding was something that rarely happened. The coffee shop was completely silent as Chandler seemed to be aware of his surroundings.

"I have to go. I can't be here...everyone, enjoy your coffee. I need to go," Chandler said, running his fingers through his hair and walking out. Monica looked back at Phoebe with a look of sympathy.

"Why? Pheebs...I was...why did you start?" Monica asked without waiting for the answer. She ran out after Chandler. Phoebe remained seated as Ross, Rachel and Joey gathered around her to comfort her. Phoebe shook her head and instead walked out of the coffee shop. Joey got up and ran out after her, grabbing her arm. She turned and looked at him.

"Leave me alone," Phoebe said.

"Pheebs…"

"No, no, I fucked up. I ruined our friendship. Why can't I let go? He means so much to me and-and-I-" Phoebe said, tears falling down her cheeks.

"You know, he always comes back," Joey said.

"What?"

"You always say he keeps leaving right? But he also always comes back. He comes back from his drug addictions, he comes back from Yemen, from Tulsa….to his wedding, he always comes back and that's the difference. Your dad, your step-dad, your mom, you adoptive mom, your step brother, your sister…..they never came back. Chandler does. He hasn't left and when he does, he comes back."

"I just-I need to be alone," Phoebe said, walking away. It killed him to see her that upset. It killed him to see Chandler that angry. He walked back into the coffee shop where Ross and Rachel were sitting but he could not stop thinking about Chandler and Phoebe. It really upset him. He didn't want their friendship to end. He wanted them to remember why they liked each other in the first place. He didn't pay attention to Ross and Rachel and what they were saying to each other. Instead, he got up and took a cab to FAO Schwartz, a place he loved with Phoebe and Chandler. They had gotten rid of their Nerf Guns long ago but maybe he'd buy three more. He bought them and went back to the apartment and walked back upstairs to learn that Chandler had left. Monica told him he went to go find Phoebe and without saying a word, he ran back down the stairs still holding his bag from FAO Schwartz. He had a feeling he knew where they went. It was already getting dark but he just knew. He took the cab to the junkyard where Phoebe had taken him once. He knew she sometimes went there and his instincts were correct as he walking into the junkyard and saw Phoebe and Chandler still sitting together. They both looked confused to see him.

"What are you doing here?" Phoebe asked as Joey walked towards them and sat on the other side of Phoebe.

"Had a feeling. How are you two?" Joey asked.

"I don't know. I don't want you to hate me, Chandler. I mean, Joey's right….you always come back and I don't want to lose you as a friend. I adore you and I want you to know that," Phoebe said, "and I'm sorry for being so mean to you over the years. I've always adored you and not just for what you did but…'cause you're you and I'm so, so proud of you. I know you work so hard and-"

"I've never hated you Pheebs….I just think our friendship got a little lost," Chandler said.

"I've never seen you explode like that, man," Joey said. "I've seen you mad but….wow…."

"Yeah about that, I'm sorry….I shouldn't have yelled," Chandler said.

"No, don't apologize. It's my fault and congratulations. Two years and I know it hasn't been easy," Phoebe said.

"Thank you. What's in the bag?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, oh...okay after what happened, I went shopping," Joey said pulling out the Nerf guns out of the bag, "I remember we played. You wanna play some more?"

"Here?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah. Why not?" Joey asked as he handed the boxes to both Chandler and Phoebe.

"'Cause we're in a junkyard and…." Phoebe said, "I'm not in the mood."

Joey nodded as he noticed Chandler putting his Nerf gun together. Phoebe noticed Chandler putting it together as well.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"We're in the middle of an abandoned junkyard," Phoebe said.

"Uh-huh," Chandler said as he got up and pointed the Nerf gun at them and began shooting, "play with me."

Both Joey and Phoebe opened their boxes and in the midst of the empty junkyard lot that Phoebe had once called home, the shot Nerf darts at each other, they laughed and played. Of the six, they were definitely the more playful half and sometimes a little playing was just necessary in order to say goodbye to the drama.

It had been Monica's idea. After the fight at Central Perk, Monica wanted them to go with her to an Al-Anon meeting. She had suggested it earlier when Chandler was just becoming sober, but really it was only Monica who went. So while Chandler was at his AA meeting, they went to an Al-Anon meeting in the same building sitting in the uncomfortable fold out chairs while drinking bad coffee and listening to people telling stories of their loved ones struggling with addiction. As he listened, it made him even more proud of Chandler, of how hard he was working. He could almost feel himself choking up.

"You okay?" Rachel asked, patting his leg.

"I feel like I should be at the other meeting. With Chandler," Joey said.

"I thought that too," Monica said, overhearing him, "but this is the one we're supposed to be at. Unless he asks, he doesn't really want us to just pop in. It's not a party."

"Yeah, but…" Joey said,

"Joey, no….this is where we're supposed to be. To gain understanding. We will see him after," Monica smiled.

"Makes me even more proud of him," Joey said.

"Me too," Rachel said as she grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"I went to these a lot at the beginning 'cause I didn't know how to deal with this, how to unclench….probably that's why I didn't leave him when he ran out on the wedding. He's got a disease, you know and he's trying to figure it out…..so now do you think Chandler is good enough for me? Can we stop with that? Please?" Monica asked.

"Okay, no, you're right….at this point, I actually think he might be too good for you?" Ross teased.

"Oh, he could totally do better," Joey said, getting in on the teasing.

"Maybe I could find him a soulmate," Phoebe grinned.

"You guys suck," Monica shot back as Rachel put her around Monica as she let out a laugh.

"Awww, Mon. You know we love you. There's no one better than Mondler," Rachel said.

"Damn right and thank you guys...not just for sticking with him but for keeping me sane and keeping me from losing it completely. I love you guys," Monica said,"more than you know."

"Hey, of course we're gonna protect you….look at everything you've done for all of us," Joey said.

"Here, here," Rachel said.

"And remember what I said?" Joey asked. "I was right."

"About what?" Rachel asked.

"Joey used to say that Chandler loves him and me more than he loved his addiction," Monica said.

"I can see that," Rachel said.

As he sat there, he was just so filled with emotion. They talked about trust, about rebuilding that trust, they talked about forgiving their loved ones who had struggled and Joey truly did. He forgave Chandler, he forgave Shane, he even forgave Christopher. It felt so freeing to just forgive. So peaceful. After the meeting, they walked out and waited for Chandler to emerge from his AA meeting. When he did, Joey hugged him before anyone got a chance.

"So the meeting was good?" Chandler asked when Joey stopped hugging him.

"Yeah, it was, how was yours?" Monica asked.

"Good, good….hey, can I ask….you guys forgive me now, right? You trust me again? None of you are mad? Well, except Pheebs," Chandler said.

"I'm not mad," Phoebe said.

"And sweetie, we forgive you. You don't need to apologize anymore," Rachel said.

"You don't," Ross said.

"You trust me and everything?" Chandler asked.

"Yes," Ross said.

"'Cause you're my family you know, and I'm just-" Chandler said.

"Hey, we're...it's all good," Joey said.

"Good….okay, let's go home. They really need to improve their coffee at these meetings," Chandler said as he wrapped his arm around Monica as they left the building. The group continued walking towards the apartment, each paired off as they usually were. Monica and Chandler, Ross and Rachel, Joey and Phoebe. It was warm out, spring was in full bloom and to anyone on the street, they looked like three couples and not a married couple, an on-off couple with a child and a couple who was strictly friends with benefits. Despite every drama, every fight, every meltdown, there was a bond there. They were a family, their own little family of six.

Once at home, he decided he needed to call Lizzie immediately. He wanted to tell her about the meeting. He wanted to fill her in on everything that had happened. It was amazing to him how much went on in the meeting, how much he learned and it was truly the first time he didn't mind learning.

"You should go to one in Tulsa," Joey offered once he got Lizzie on the phone.

"I don't think I need to, I mean I did when Chandler and I first broke up but I think it would be pointless to go now. I'm not dating Chandler, I just became friends with him again and he's sober.'

"I know, I know-"

"So I'm not sure I need to do an Al-Anon meeting now."

"But I think it would be interesting. You did date an addict."

"Yeah, that's why I said I went after we broke up. I did learn a lot."

"Yeah, I know, but-"

"I'm so happy he's okay now," Lizzie said.

"He's really amazing."

"That's sweet."

"He's the greatest brother ever."

"Awww, okay, so tell me more about the Al-Anon meeting."

"Okay, yeah, of course-"

Joey looked up and noticed Rachel standing in her doorway staring at him. He was tempted to say something but instead continued to tell Lizzie about what he had learned when the door opened and Chandler walked in.

"He's here," Joey said before lowering the phone, "I'm talking to Lizzie. I'm telling her about the Al-Anon meeting."

"I'm not sure you're supposed to do that," Chandler said.

"That's what I said," Rachel said.

"But it's Lizzie, she doesn't count," Joey said.

"That's what I said when I was dating her," Chandler joked.

Joey laughed as he put the phone back up to his ear. He heard a little snort on the other end of the line.

"Tell Chandler I heard that," Lizzie said, "and tell him that I said fuck you, asswipe-"

"She said she heard that and she said, 'fuck you, asswipe' and-"

"And he's the reason I was in therapy for five years," Lizzie said.

"-oh you're in reason she was in therapy for five years," Joey finished.

"You sure it wasn't you?" Chandler asked.

"Both of us….but more you," Joey said.

"Awww, another life made successful by Chanoey," Chandler said.

"Jandler," Joey corrected.

"Chandler, what's up?" Rachel asked.

"Monica sent me over here. She said I might need some video game time with Joey after the meeting tonight," Chandler said.

"Oh, awesome, Lizzie-"

"Yeah?" Lizzie asked.

I gotta go. Chandler's here to play," Joey said.,

"You can still talk-" Chandler began but Joey hung up before he could finish, "okay."

"Let's play," Joey said as he got up and ushered Chandler towards the chair. Rachel kept watching them and soon decided she would go hang out with Monica which was fine by him. He really needed to play with Chandler. Jandler time.

"So what did you talk about at your AA meeting?" Joey asked.

"I really can't tell you, buddy," Chandler said.

"But it's me," Joey said.

"I know...but I don't even tell Monica really."

"Have you ever talked about me?" Joey asked.

"Joe."

"Come on."

"I've talked about all of you. You tell stories and you talk about what got you there. If there's a theme... I talk about it."

"Have you talked about Liz?"

"I have."

"Man, you really fucked her up," Joey said.

"Dude, man you wouldn't be in this situation if I hadn't been such an asshole."

"Thanks," Joey said.

"So how are things going with her?" Chandler asked.

"Good...I like her. She doesn't wanna just date me. We're a family, you know, we should be one."

"Yeah, but….I kinda don't blame her. Between you and me, we did a number on her."

"I wish I had called back," Joey said. "I mean, Lauren's a great kid and surprisingly well-adjusted. It's impressive."

"Well, she's your kid. I mean, you saw a guy get shot to death when you were four and that didn't traumatize you….hell, you've buried people and you're not traumatized….so makes sense. Do they know?" Chandler asked. "About the mob stuff?"

"Lizzie does….obviously and I think Lauren knows. I don't want Liz ever meeting Christopher."

"I can see that….and you know, once you asked me if I would ever forgive Shane….I do," Chandler said, "he was broken too. I do forgive him and I'm sorry that you lost your friend. I wish that he had lived to see us as friends and you as a dad."

"Oh G-d…he's the reason I never gave up on you. At his funeral, I made a promise to him that if I have had a friend that struggled, I'd protect them."

"Well, I'm glad….his parents still don't know, do they?" Chandler asked.

"That he died? G-d, I hope so but I honestly don't know. I have never heard anything."

"Can you track his parents down?"

"I don't even think I know his parents names. Do you?" Joey asked.

"No, man….I mean, it was eighth grade. I could call the school, see if they had any record of him or his family but...I don't know. Although then again….it's been so long, maybe they just don't care or maybe they already know?"

"I hope they do."

"Me too, actually. That's awful. He was lucky to have you as a friend."

"Funny, I feel the same way about you," Joey said.

"Well, that's nice….can I kill you now?" Chandler asked, motioning towards the television screen.

"Yeah, nice try dipshit, you're not winning this battle," Joey said as they turned to the television screen and began playing, screaming at the screen as they played. It was the ultimate in Jandler/Chanoey bonding. Some video gaming to keep the friendship going.

A few weeks had passed and he was having a party on the roof and invited his soap opera co-stars. He also reluctantly invited the other five when Rachel found out about it. While he loved those five, he purposely tried to avoid them during the party just feeling it would lead to less embarrassment and that was when he saw her, she was tall and gorgeous. Ross had brought her and she looked confused and very out of place.

"You seem confused?" Joey asked.

The tall girl turned and looked at him, laughing a little as she stared at the wine in her cup.

"Oh, no, no….I just….I normally don't hang out with soap opera stars."

"Oh, we're just people," Joey joked.

"I do feel a little embarrassed, though. I wish I recognized these people. I'm here with Ross, I'm scientist too," the woman said.

"So you love dinosaurs. I'm Joey, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray. Neurosurgeon."

"Oh. I'm Charlie."

"Nice to meet you. You don't recognize anyone?"

"I don't watch a lot of television," Charlie said.

"On purpose."

"Yeah."

"Weird."

"What's weird about it?" Charlie asked.

"Television is good," Joey said.

"So is reading," Charlie said.

"Maybe."

"What's the last book you read?"

"Batman," Joey said. There was something bizarre about this woman. She was so the opposite of him. She liked school, she liked it so much, she taught it. She was beauty and brains and he was intrigued. Maybe Charlie was the type of girlfriend he needed, she was different than any girl he had ever dated.

"Well, that's nice."

"Comics are good reading but you know, all that reading, you still seem very confused."

"This isn't really my scene, I guess. I never know how to act at parties. I never...I never…"

There was something intriguing about this. Charlie seemed attracted to him and he was attracted to her. It was a weird attraction. He wasn't quite sure he got it but by the end of the evening, he was kissing Charlie.

Charlie and Joey. That was a pairing he just did not get. There was so much they did not have in common. He could never bring her into his world. He could never introduce her to Tony or Christopher or Kristi. Yet, he was enthralled by her. She was intrigued him and he wanted to see just how far he could take it.


	61. Chapter 61

**May 2003**

Explaining Charlie to Lizzie was tough. He had thought maybe she wouldn't mind. She was dating and they weren't serious so maybe it wouldn't matter but he got a feeling she was a little jealous. He thought it was hilarious as he sat back in his big chair, drinking a beer and listening to Lizzie talk about Charlie.

"You're so jealous."

"I am not jealous," Lizzie argued over the phone with him. He had called to wish Lauren a happy birthday. She was officially a teenager and ended up getting Lizzie and telling her everything.

"You sound jealous."

"We're not dating. You can date Charlie. Did you remember to call her back after you kissed her?" Lizzie asked.

"Yes. I even took her to a museum. I went to the MET. I learned two things, one….it has nothing to do with the Mets, the baseball team, and two….it's not a bad museum. Pretty cool stuff. They get mad if you touch it though."

"Did you really think the MET was a museum about baseball?" Lizzie asked.

"Uh, yeah."

"How did you graduate high school?"

"My guess is that they just wanted me gone."

"And how have you lived in New York your entire life and never been to the MET?"

"I hate the Mets."

"That was one of the first places I wanted to go to when I came to New York," Lizzie said.

"Well, la-de-fuckin'-daw…..I've seen other things."

"True. You know where all the bodies are buried."

"Not all of them," Joey said.

"So does Charlie know that you're hooked up with the Sopranos and did runs for Tony Soprano? Does she know you've been arrested four times? Does she know the truth about Joseph Tribbiani?" Lizzie asked.

"Oh, G-d no."

"You ever gonna tell her?"

"No. She's got like a PhD and crap and besides I don't tell girls that. I didn't tell you when we dated….but you also didn't tell me you were cheating so, you know-"

"Wait, are you comparing?" Lizzie asked.

"Attempting to…but she's like…..she uses big words. Like with a lot of syllables. Words you wouldn't know with your Bachelor's Degree."

"I know big words."

"Abnegation. She used that in a sentence the other day. What does that mean?" Joey asked to silence on the other line.

"Uh, you know….you...it means...okay, it-you know, I'm not gonna tell you. Look it up."

"See, you don't know either."

"That's not it….it's just….I-I still have dial up so in order for me to look it up on line, I'd have to hang up and I can't find the dictionary," Lizzie said which made Joey laugh.

"Look, I'm not saying anything will come of it but…..you dated and it might be interesting. You're still dating, right?"

"Yeah. It's fine."

"Good. What are you doing for Lauren's birthday?" Joey asked. "I took lots of pictures at the soap opera party I had. I'll send them to her."

"She'll love that. She's having a roller skating party."

"Is Alex gonna be there?" Joey asked.

"Oh, we are so over Alex," Lizzie said.

"Really, what happened?"

"He asked Lauren's friend, Beth to the Spring Formal."

"Scandal," Joey said.

"I know. So now we've moved on to Jeremy. We like Jeremy now."

"I hate Jeremy and I hate Alex."

"I understand. It's gonna be a fun party and by the way, she asked for a Joey's Special."

"Two pizzas?"

"Yes. It'll probably be more than two pizzas," Lizzie said.

"I'm missing pizza? I wish I was there."

"I wish you were here but you got your PhD girl."

"Only if it makes you jealous," Joey said.

"I'm not jealous."

"Uh-huh," Joey said as he heard the door open and slam behind him. He watched as Chandler pulled a stool up towards him. Chandler looked like crap and Joey knew exactly why. Monica and Chandler had discovered they could not have children and it was killing them both. The other four had no idea what to do. Monica was the glue of the group and she was holding them all together but she was falling apart.

"Can we play video games?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah…hey, Liz, can I call you back?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, is everything okay?"

"Um…." Joey wasn't sure what he should tell Lizzie.

"Tell Liz that turns out when we had sex, I never needed to use a condom. Turns out I really am dead inside," Chandler said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"Excuse me?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah, if she had any doubt….Lauren is definitely yours, Joe. 'Cause you know….I can't get girls pregnant," Chandler said.

"You know she can hear you," Joey said.

"I don't care," Chandler said.

"Wait, what is going on?" Lizzie asked. "Is he okay?"

"I'm taking care of it. Go get Lauren ready for her birthday and-"

"Joey-"

"I'm taking care of it," Joey said.

"Okay. Call me later."

"I will," Joey said as he hung up and stared at Chandler.

Chandler looked pissed. Joey kept trying to figure out what he could say. He reached for his beer and took a sip as he kept staring. The silence was matched by the visible tension. They couldn't have children, that was what they found out. Monica's uterus was inhospitable and Chandler had low sperm motility.

"Can-can you not have a beer right now?" Chandler asked.

Joey looked at the beer in his hand and back up at Chandler. He nodded as he walked towards the fridge to put the beer away. He grabbed himself a soda and a Red Bull for Chandler.

"Should I call someone? Your sponsor?" Joey asked.

"No. I wanna play video games."

Joey nodded as Chandler pulled the stool up to the barcalounger and Joey set up the game. When everything was set up, he handed the controller to Chandler and sat next to him.

"You want the barcalounger?" Joey asked.

"No."

"Okay," Joey said. "Hey you know, did you get your two year chip? I never saw it. Could I see it?"

Chandler glared at him and reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He grabbed a chip and handed it to Joey. It was a bronze little metal with a number two in it.

"Pretty incredible," Joey said, running his fingers over the tiny engraved number two.

"Yeah."

"Hey, you know it's gonna be okay?"

"Is it?" Chandler asked. "I can't get my wife pregnant. Think of all the money I wasted on condoms. Fuck, could've paid for another acting class for you."

"You're acting like an asshole," Joey said.

"Hey, at least I'm sober," Chandler said.

"You wanna go to the gym? You can punch a bag?"

"No, I wanna get my wife pregnant. I wanna….shit and Liz now knows, right?"

"Well, you didn't say it softly. I'm sure she's not gonna tell people but…"

"I want a drink so bad. It hurts."

"I know."

"I hate feeling things."

"I know that too. Come on, let's play…..Fallout 2?"

"I love that game," Chandler said.

"I know."

Chandler gave a weak smile as they played side by side. They didn't say much, they really didn't need to or maybe neither one knew what to say. Joey hadn't a clue. What could he possibly say to make any of this better? He knew Monica wanted a child. He knew that was the one thing she wanted more than anything. They played for about an hour before Chandler decided to head back across the hall. As they opened the door, they saw Ross standing there with Jack and Judy Geller. Chandler kept staring at the ground.

"How are you, son?" Jack asked.

"I'm….I'm really sorry," Chandler said.

Jack leaned in and suddenly embraced Chandler in a hug as Judy kept telling them to open the door. They walked into the darkened apartment and towards Monica and Chandler's room where Phoebe and Rachel were sitting on either side of her.

"Mr. and Mrs. Geller?" Rachel said as Monica looked at them. Rachel and Phoebe immediately got up as Judy practically sprinted towards Monica, holding her as Monica burst into tears again.

"You'll fix this," Judy said. "I know you will."

"How?" Monica asked.

"Look around you," Ross said.

"Yeah, you've fixed all of us," Phoebe said, "and that took work."

Monica let out a sigh as Judy still remained seated next to her. They all stared at Monica, Joey had no clue what he was supposed to say. He wanted to talk to someone, maybe he could talk to Lizzie. He could talk to Charlie but that just seemed too weird. He couldn't tell Charlie. Everything was still new with Charlie. Soon Joey retreated back to his apartment and walked into his room, slamming the door behind him. He dialed Lizzie's cell and waited for her to pick up.

"You okay?" Lizzie asked as soon as she answered.

"I don't know. Are you at Lauren's birthday?"

"Yeah, we're gonna sing happy birthday soon."

"I wanna do that."

"Okay….um...what was that? With Chandler earlier?"

"I don't know if I should tell you but um….Chandler and Monica found out they can't have kids."

"Oh my G-d."

"And….Chandler told me to put my beer away. He's been sober and clean for a little over two years. I'm really scared, Liz."

"I know. I'm sorry. I won't say anything. Oh, oh….your daughter wants to talk to you," Lizzie said. Joey heard some rustling on the other line.

"Dad, guess what?" Lauren asked.

"I heard we don't like Alex anymore," Joey said.

"We don't. We hate Alex. But we like Jeremy and Jeremy just asked me if he could sit next to me when we have pizza and mom says I have to share."

"I understand…..it's a difficult choice."

"He likes pepperoni."

"Can he get his own?" Joey asked.

"I know right."

"You know what you should ask him?"

"I already asked how are you doing, I'm not saying your line. It's stupid and grammatically incorrect. It would be so embarrassing. Oh, it's cake time," Lauren said, "dad, do I have to share my cake?"

"Oh, that's tough," Joey said.

"Yes, she does," Lizzie said, talking into the phone.

Joey laughed as he heard noises in the background. He soon heard a large group singing happy birthday and he joined in. He could feel his heart break a little though. He just felt like he should be there. Charlie was wonderful and all but he felt he needed to be there.

He stayed on the phone for as long as he could before hanging up and walking back across the hall. Phoebe, Chandler, Jack, Ross and Rachel were sitting quietly in the living room. He walked towards Monica and Chandler's room and saw Judy still comforting Monica.

"Hey….Mrs. Geller, can I talk to Monica?" Joey asked.

"Yeah….sweetie, I'll make dinner okay," Judy said.

"Wait, no, my kitchen and-" Monica said.

"Honey, you don't think I know how my child runs her kitchen?" Judy asked, getting up and walking towards the door. As she passed Joey, she gently squeezed his arm and he walked towards Monica and lay next to her.

"Where were you?" Monica asked.

"Lauren's birthday. Liz had me on the phone while we sang happy birthday."

"Unbelievable. Even you get a child."

"You will have a child," Joey said.

"And then….then Chandler…..he's….if he falls off the wagon and then-"

"Hey, he's not going to. He loves us more than the addiction. He's not falling."

"What did I do wrong? Is it because of the bulimia? Did I do this to myself?" Monica asked.

"No, no, G-d no….you know, it's funny, you changed my life Geller. You're the reason I want to be in Lauren's life. You're the reason I've gone Hollywood. You're it and I know I give you a hard time but I'm the person I am now because of you."

"That's sweet. Does Lizzie know that I can't have children?"

"Yeah….Chandler made sarcastic comments and Lizzie overheard them."

"My husband is a smart ass."

"We can't change that."

"You don't think he'll fall off the wagon."

"No and I don't want you falling off either. I want you eating. I want you to take care of yourself. You don't need to take care of the rest of us, let us return the favor. It's your turn."

"I wanna a kid so bad. Why don't…..what I did do?"

"Nothing," Joey said.

Monica was still crying as Joey hugged her. She lay in his arms as she sniffled and tried desperately to control her crying.

"Tell me about her."

"Who?" Joey asked.

"Lauren. Tell me about her."

"Okay….well, she asked me if she had to share her cake and there's a boy named Jeremy. There was a boy named Alex but we don't like him anymore and she does not like my catch phrase because it's bad grammar. She's actually surprisingly well adjusted. She's thirteen. I have a thirteen year old. She's sweet though. She calls me dad. Pretty cool."

"Do you want other kids?"

"I think so. I don't know."

"You and Charlie are not gonna last, you know that right?"

"Well, Liz and I aren't together so...it's fun."

"Yeah."

Monica let out a sigh as she remained there. Soon he was able to get her out of her room and join the others. Judy was making dinner as they remained seated, quiet and comforting Monica and Chandler which was harder than they thought. What could they possibly say to make everything okay again? What could work? They needed some other plan.

Things were spiraling and instead of confiding in Charlie, he confided in Lizzie. He liked Charlie, liked sitting and hearing her speak but there was something comforting about talking to Lizzie. It was like she simply knew but he wished she and Lauren were with him or he was there. It would help with Chandler and Monica. He just didn't know what to say or how to even say it. This seemed beyond anything he could help with, anything he could understand and when Chandler went missing, his heart dropped fearing the worst, they all feared the worst.

"You really think fell off the wagon?" Ross asked, looking up from the couch. Rachel, Joey and Ross were sitting in Monica and Chandler's apartment as Monica kept making phone calls. Emma was sleeping next to them.

"I don't know. I just….what did I do? I've been a good person. I've-" Monica said, as she dialed again. She looked confused. "Pheebs?" Monica asked, nervous. "How drunk is he?" Monica asked.

"Oh no," Rachel said.

"We don't know," Ross said.

"I'm on my way," Monica said as she hung up and looked at the three of them.

"He's at Pub 2," Monica said.

"He's fell off the wagon?" Joey asked.

"No, no. He's with Phoebe. Phoebe said he was sober. I don't know, I'll be back," Monica said, grabbing her keys as she practically sprinted towards the door.

"Should we come with you?" Rachel asked.

"No, let me...just all be here when we get back. Don't be mad at him," Monica said.

"We won't," Rachel said as Monica walked out, leaving the three of them staring at each other. "Are they going to be okay?"

"Yeah. Wait, he's sober and he called Pheebs. He called for help," Ross said. "I don't think he's ever….he asked for help when he went off the edge but I don't think he's ever asked for help when he got too close to the edge. He's going to be fine."

"Promise?" Rachel asked. "'Cause I just….I….want them to be okay. Monica is supposed to have children. She's supposed to be a mom."

"She's going to be one," Ross said. "Chandler's going to be a dad."

"I think he'll be an awesome dad," Joey said.

"Oh, yeah….the two of them as parents? Yeah. The kid will be insanely neat and hilariously funny," Ross said.

"Beautiful and popular," Rachel said.

"They're going to be parents. They're meant to be parents," Ross said.

Rachel nodded as Ross leaned over and squeezed her hand. Joey kept wondering if he should chase after Monica. If he should go but he wasn't sure, they sat in silence waiting for Monica, Chandler and Phoebe to return and when they did, Joey looked at Chandler. He looked embarrassed but he was completely sober. Chandler had pulled himself back from the edge. Joey stood up and walked towards him but instead of hitting him, he instead hugged him tightly. He was proud, proud his friend was sober.

"You're sober?" Joey asked.

"Yep," Chandler said.

"He called for help. I'm his sponsor," Phoebe said.

"Actually….no," Chandler said.

"Yes, I am. I've appointed myself," Phoebe said.

"But you aren't in AA?" Chandler asked. "I have a sponsor that's in AA."

"They don't count, I do," Phoebe said.

"Okay," Chandler said, placing his arm around Phoebe.

"Guys, I have an announcement. Um, Chandler and I are going to adopt," Monica said.

"Really?" Ross asked.

"It was my idea," Phoebe said. "But doesn't it make perfect sense?"

"It does," Rachel said.

Monica and Chandler adopting made sense. It made complete sense and as they talked about adopting, there was a lightness that floated over the room again. Adoption. It made definite sense. In a way, Monica had adopted them all. She had fixed them all, she had taken them in. It was the perfect move. Or maybe not exactly perfect but it could work.

"I'm gonna make us dinner," Monica said as she began to move towards the kitchen before Chandler stopped her.

"No, let me," Chandler said, "take a break."

"You're gonna make dinner?" Ross asked.

"I can make dinner," Chandler said. "Watch me make dinner."

The group watched as Chandler walked towards the kitchen and opened up a drawer. He grabbed a large piece of paper, grabbed the phone and began dialing.

"Yeah, hi...I wanna order two….no, three large pizzas. One veggie, one cheese and one pepperoni…." Chandler continued.

"I love my husband," Monica said, laughing as Chandler continued ordering the pizza.

"So are you okay?" Ross asked, placing his arm around his sister.

"I have to be, right? I mean….I want to be a mom. I'm married, I'm a chef and this is the final part. This has to happen for me."

"It will."

"And you know, Chandler and I don't have to stop trying," Monica said.

"That's gross," Ross said.

Monica laughed as Chandler hung up and looked at the rest of them, flipping the phone in his hand.

"There you go, I made dinner," Chandler said.

"Good job, man," Ross said.

"I thought so. Where's Emma," Chandler said.

"Over there, she's waiting for you," Rachel said pointing to Emma's carrier. Chandler walked over and immediately scooped her up in his arms. Emma looked over at Chandler and began giggling as he made faces at her. The rest of the group joined him in the living room.

"So I have other news," Ross said, trying to get their attention.

"You got engaged?" Chandler asked.

"Who is she?" Joey asked.

"I hate you both," Ross said, "no...I um...I have a lecture to give in Barbados and I bought you all tickets."

"To go see a dino lecture?" Joey asked.

"No, you can hang out in Barbados….except I want you seeing my lecture," Ross said.

"I could use a vacation," Monica said.

"Me too," Chandler said.

"I can do Barbados," Rachel said.

It was set, they would spend a week in Barbados. Ross would be giving the keynote speech and they would be laying out by the pool….or in the hotel. It was rainy. As soon as he checked into his hotel, instead of finding Charlie he called Lizzie.

"So where's your girlfriend?" Lizzie asked.

"You are so jealous," Joey said.

"I am not jealous….actually, I do wish I was in Barbados."

"No you don't, it's pouring rain. Apparently, it's monsoon season."

"Fancy."

"And I go to dino lectures," Joey said.

"When Ross and I um….hung out."

"Made love."

"No….hung out, he would read me his grad school papers."

"That's a turn on."

"I know, right? Charlie's there, right?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah, she loves the dinosaurs."

"Do you like her? I mean, honestly, Joe?"

"I don't know. I mean, I haven't told her a lot of stuff. I haven't told her about you or Lauren or anything and I-I mean, I like her….it's a mature relationship….but actually-I'd-I...I'd like to visit you. It would be fun-I'd like to...to stay there for a couple weeks but-"

"Joey."

"I know."

"You haven't told Charlie about Lauren?"

"I don't know if it's that serious and I don't….then I'd have to explain how I abandoned my own child….I don't know, Liz."

"I don't know either. Don't say anything if it's not serious and I'll think about this summer."

"Please? I should probably go. I'm not sure how much this will cost."

"Alright, bye Joey."

"Bye," he said as he hung up. He didn't know where Charlie was and part of him just didn't care. He wasn't even sure they were dating. Maybe it was just an infatuation. Something fun with no meaning, he was not interested in anything she was interested in went both ways. He got up and walked out of his room and towards Ross' thinking Charlie might be in there and maybe they could talk and he did find her in there but there was no time to talk. Charlie was helping Ross with his speech and he really had no desire to stay there so he walked off in search of someone. Maybe Rachel? Phoebe was there with David, that scientist guy she had once dated. Monica and Chandler were doing something and maybe he could find Rachel.

"Hey, where's Charlie?" Rachel asked when they finally ran into each other.

"With Ross. They're working their dino speech."

"Hmmm….well….you wanna play?" Rachel asked.

"Would love to," Joey said as they linked arms and walked off. They decided to play. While everyone was off doing whatever they were doing, they were having fun. They crashed a pharmaceutical convention, they ate food, drank and enjoyed each other. It was more fun than he had thought and then without warning, it happened. Maybe it was the drinks or something else but at some point, Rachel and Joey kissed. He felt her lips pressed against his, their bodies pressed against each other and it felt wonderful, he had not felt this in a long time and he certainly never wanted to feel that with Rachel. At least, he had tried to never think about it again. His feelings for Rachel had disappeared, at least he thought they had but there they were. Phoebe was usually his partner in crime when it came to group outings but she dating David and then Mike when he surprised her in Barbados. Monica and Chandler used this as a second honeymoon of sorts and Ross was always with Charlie and he didn't even miss Charlie. Rachel became his new partner in crime and with that came new developments, Rachel was starting to have feelings for him. He wasn't sure when that had happened, when had they flipped but those feelings for her had really never gone away. He wanted to explore them. He was barely with Charlie really and he and Lizzie weren't making any progress. He wouldn't tell Lizzie anything about Rachel. He had a feeling she would not react to that the same way that she had about Charlie. Kissing Rachel though, it felt good.

"Wait, wait," Joey said, between making out with Rachel.

"What?"

"We can't do this?"

"Why not?"

"Ross….and Charlie."

"Are you that serious about Charlie?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know. I think so….I don't….I have to find Ross."

He had to find him, he had to talk to his friend. Ever since Chandler and Monica had gotten together, Ross and Joey had gotten closer. He looked at the friendship far differently than he had in the past. He now considered Ross a second brother. Maybe he would never be as close to Ross as he was to Chandler but he was still close. He still thought the world of him. He needed to find him and he did. He found Ross kissing Charlie. He watched them locked together and unlike his anger when Chandler had kissed Kathy, Joey didn't particularly care all that much. He walked back to Rachel's room and kissed her. They were swapping and every part of it was changing.

When they got back from Barbados, Phoebe was now with Mike, Joey and Charlie had pretty much broken up without really ever needing to discuss that they had broken up. It was like an unspoken agreement that they both knew it would never work. Charlie was now with Ross and Joey needed to discuss Rachel with Ross. He tracked down Ross at his apartment to talk to him, to tell him what happened with him and Rachel.

"I think we're gonna try something," Joey said, sitting on Ross' couch after he had finally gotten the words out. He and Rachel were now going to be together or at least try.

"Really?"

"You're with Charlie, right? I caught you two kissing," Joey said.

"Oh G-d, I'm sorry Joe-"

"It's alright. Come on, she makes far more sense with you," Joey said and he wasn't even sure he could ever consider Charlie his girlfriend.

"So you and Rachel are…."

"I don't know, but I want your permission. I'm not going to pursue this if you're not okay with it," Joey said.

"I'm not fine."

"Oh," Joey said which made him sad. He had a feeling Ross wouldn't be fine.

"But...you know, I'm gonna have to be. What about Lizzie?"

"I don't wanna tell her until it's something. I just...I don't really want to."

"I understand."

"I don't know if this will lead to something, Ross, or we're just messing around. Maybe I'll end up as another casualty like everyone else you two date but I-"

"You can try," Ross said. "I like Charlie and maybe...Rachel and I keep trying but maybe it's time to just….let go. It's been six years, you know and it's not working. We keep making all these promises and we have rings and...maybe we need to stop trying so hard."

Joey nodded and just like that, there were doubts. There were casualties in the Ross and Rachel relationship because Ross and Rachel belonged together. He wanted to say more when there was a knock at the door. Ross got up to answer it and there stood Rachel, holding Emma and looking at them both.

"Hey," Ross said as he took Emma from Rachel and stepped inside.

"I'm gonna go," Joey said, getting up.

"Stay," Ross said.

"No, you two need to talk," Joey said as he walked out the door. He had done it. He would try with Rachel but it felt wrong. He couldn't tell Lizzie. He couldn't tell her that he was now dating Rachel. Lizzie knew Rachel. Maybe not well but she knew and he could not stop thinking about Lizzie, about their phone calls, about how much progress they had made. He had proven himself, proven that he was going to stick around and he wanted to stick around. It just didn't feel right moving on from Lizzie. His conversations with Lizzie increased and he was beginning to regret his decision to be with Rachel. He loved Rachel, he did but Rachel didn't belong with him. It was wrong. It was just wrong and he couldn't bring himself to even tell Liz about Rachel. He said he and Charlie had broken up but not much else and he wasn't sure he was supposed and it seemed apparent Rachel was starting to feel the same.

"What are we doing?" Rachel asked as he hung up the phone after another conversation with Lizzie a few weeks after his conversation with Ross.

"What do you mean?" Joey asked.

"Do you like Lizzie?"

"She's the mother of my child."

"This feels wrong. This all feels so wrong. You should be with Lizzie, I should be with Ross. Joey, I love you. I love you so much but…."

"It's wrong," Joey said, breathing a sigh of relief. This wasn't supposed to be it. He needed to be with his daughter, he wanted to be with Lizzie. She got him, she understood, she knew his past. She knew everything. He couldn't tell anyone else what he had been through. It just wouldn't work.

"Yeah."

"I agree," Joey said.

"You do?"

"I don't know. I thought I wanted it. I think you're amazing and hot and sexy and-"

"Joe."

"But you should be with Ross. It's not over between you two," Joey said and he knew that. Even if there was more there, he would never be Rachel's first choice despite what they wanted to say.

"I think it is."

"It's never going to be over and we both know that and I was thinking...remember how Phoebe used to say that you and Ross were each other's lobsters?"

"Yeah."

"I don't wanna break up lobsters. Especially if those lobsters are two of my favorite people. It was wrong."

"He's with Charlie."

"He'd drop her for you in a second and I do like Lizzie. I wanna see where it goes. I wanna see if she's my lobster. Everyone has someone, everything is changing and maybe it's time. You belong with Ross, not me," Joey said, truthfully. Everyone was moving on, everyone was pairing off and moving to the next stage of their lives and he needed to move on with his. He would soon be moving into his later half of his thirties and he knew what he needed, who he needed. He had never made a move. Ross made moves, Chandler made moves but they found their other half. Ross and Rachel would eventually find their way back to each other, everyone knew that. They had a kid. Monica and Chandler were becoming a family. Mike also made a move and now he was with Phoebe. It was time for him to make his move. He got on a plane and flew to Tulsa. He had the address and took a cab to her apartment. Once at her door, he pounded on it, hoping she was home. Lauren opened the door.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Lauren asked.

"Where's your mom?" Joey asked.

"Joey?" Lizzie asked, appearing from around the corner. He saw her and walked towards her, immediately cupping her face in his hands and kissing her, hard. He could feel her slowly giving into him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Okay, ewww….don't you know I'm like right here. Haven't you guys like scarred me enough for life," Lauren groaned as Joey and Lizzie separated. Lizzie's face turned bright red as Lauren marched off towards her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

"Ooops," Joey said.

"Yeah, if we haven't screwed her up yet…." Lizzie mused, "but….but why are you here?"

"We're a family. I want us to be a family. I missed so much. I want….I want to be near my child. I wanna be near you. I fucked up, I did and I don't wanna fuck up again. You get me. You do. You know my past. You know everything and I-I-look you tried to get away from the six of us and you can't….you're destined to be another member."

"I guess. Joey-"

"Look, I've proven I'm not leaving. I flew out here."

Lizzie looked at him. He wished desperately he could read her mind. There was an intensity between the two of them.

"You'll have to stay in my room," Lizzie said, whispering.

"I'm okay with that," Joey said, letting out a laugh.

Lizzie leaned into him and gently ran her fingers through his hair. She kissed him as he held her.

"I don't….I don't want to get hurt. If you hurt me-"

"Hey, I called you back. We're a family. We should be a family. I want to see her graduate high school. I wanna teach her to drive. I wanna….I wanna have other kids with you that I'm around to see grow up. I know your family probably hates me and I know you hate me but-" Joey said.

"I've talked about you to them. They know you're in my life."

"Okay," Joey said.

"Mom, Dad?" Lauren asked, timidly walking out of her room with a worried expression as if she was afraid she was walking into something.

"Lauren, can I stay here? I wanna see Tulsa," Joey said.

"Really?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah. I want us to do family stuff. What do you say?" Joey asked.

Lauren grinned as she ran towards Joey, throwing his arms around him and hugging him. He hugged back, never wanting to let her go. He wanted to start this next chapter the only way he knew how. As a family.


	62. Chapter 62

**Alright people, I'm almost at the end of Joey's...only a couple more chapters so what next? What do you want to see? I was thinking of combining all six and just separating them into smaller chunks by decade so the stories are far shorter or jumping forward in time or doing it from the point of another character. I was also thinking combining might be better so I could fix any errors in the others. A lot of you had issues with how Monica's eating disorder was handled so I could work on that and I could also add stuff for Phoebe as her story developed more as I developed the other five. Hmmm...thoughts? And of course, now that I've done all six...which one has been your favorite? Which was one was your least favorite? Were there things you wish that I had added or things that bored you?**

 **January 2004**

He tried to get to Tulsa as much as he could. Meeting Lizzie's family was tough. He had a lot of explaining to do but seeing how Lauren seemed to love Joey softened them up a bit. While he spent Thanksgiving with the other five, he spent Christmas in Tulsa with Lizzie and Lauren. It did seem like they were truly moving on. Phoebe and Mike were now engaged. Ross and Rachel were still trying to figure it out but they seemed to be very invested in trying to make it work. Monica and Chandler were in Ohio with news that a woman had wanted to give them their child. It just seemed like they were now each becoming families and maybe that was why Joey desperately wanted Lizzie and Lauren to come to New York for his thirty sixth birthday. He wanted Lizzie to be introduced to the people he had considered his family for ten years. Sure, Lizzie knew Chandler, Ross, Monica and Rachel but not well. Lizzie had not seen Chandler or Monica since she had broken up with Chandler back in 1989 and hadn't seen Rachel since college when Rachel and Monica had apparently gone to a party at Chandler and Ross' college and Lizzie hadn't really seen Ross since she had moved to Tulsa. So really, it was like she was meeting them again. He was freaked, more nervous than he was when he introduced Lizzie to his real family or when he had to explain himself to Lizzie's parents.

He was anxious sitting at the table with Mike and Phoebe while Ross and Rachel played nearby with Emma. He kept fidgeting, reaching for tortilla chips out of a bowl and wondering why he was so freaked.

"Hey, do you think it's okay that I invited Lizzie?" Joey asked.

"I think it is," Rachel said as she and Ross looked up from Emma.

"I'm looking forward to seeing her again. I haven't seen her since college," Ross said.

Joey gave Ross a look, wondering why Ross was still pretending he hadn't spoken to Lizzie since college. Had he forgotten? He thought maybe he'd call him out on it but still, he just kept thinking about Lizzie.

"It's going to be so awkward," Joey said.

"I don't think so. I mean, Chandler and Lizzie broke up fifteen years ago because she cheated on him with you and had your kid. Chandler is married to Monica who he's loved forever, even when he was dating Lizzie….I think enough time has passed. It's gonna be fine and tomorrow when you boys go to the Knicks game, Mon, Pheebs and I will take her to lunch and talk," Rachel said.

"Everything will end up the way it's supposed to," Phoebe said.

"Exactly," Rachel said as she turned back to Emma. Joey looked back at Phoebe and Mike and let out an annoyed sigh.

"Joey, it's gonna be okay," Phoebe said. "You met her parents, that had to have been even more awkward."

"Oooo, you met her parents? How did that go?" Mike asked.

"I've told him everything," Phoebe said.

"Oh...it ended better than it started. I mean, there's no easy way to start that….hey, I'm the guy who abandoned your daughter and grandchild for twelve years. Love me," Joey said.

"You are lovable," Mike said.

"I think so. I like her though," Joey said as he kept thinking more and more about Lizzie's arrival. He hoped it would go well although why wouldn't it? It would have to go well but there was just so much history….so much drama.

"Hey, guys," Monica said as she and Chandler walked into Joey and Rachel's apartment. They were practically glowing. Joey noticed Chandler walking towards him, clearly looking proud of himself.

"Happy birthday, man," Chandler said, handing Joey a giant basket filled with "old people" items: adult diapers, Metamucil and other "old people" things.

"Thanks, asshole," Joey said.

"You're welcome, buddy," Chandler said, barely able to contain his glee.

"Wait, wait...Mon," Rachel said, getting up and walking towards her. Ross picked up Emma and followed Rachel towards the kitchen.

"We got the kid, we're gonna be parents," Monica said as Phoebe and Rachel immediately got up and ran to her, hugging her and squealing. Chandler joined the guys at the table. Joey's nerves faded slightly as they concentrated on the new mom and dad.

"Congrats," Mike said.

"Welcome to the dad club," Ross said.

"Thanks, let me have my niece," Chandler said reaching for Emma. Ross handed her over. Chandler placed Emma on his lap as she turned her face up and smiled at him. He smiled back and made a face which made her giggle happily.

"Mo...mo..." Emma said, clapping her hands together.

"My youngest fan," Chandler said.

"She loves her uncle," Rachel said.

"I can't believe you are going to be a father," Mike said.

"Me neither," Chandler said.

"Yeah, it is difficult to believe...the same man who spent most of college wasted is going to have someone call him dad," Ross joked.

"Hmmmm, and one day Emma's going to wonder how she was born and I will be there to tell her that she was the product of a broken condom and a bottle of wine," Chandler mused before looking at Emma, "yes, you were...weren't you?"

"You tell her that and I can take your child to his or her grandfather's drag shows," Ross said.

"I'll be doing that myself thank you very much," Chandler said, "I'll be taking Emma with me. You wanna see drag queens, Em?"

"No. She doesn't," Rachel said. "G-d, you two will be amazing parents."

"I can't believe this is going to actually happen for us," Monica said.

"I know...alright, alright...I wanna talk about other things. What are we doing for Joey's 63rd birthday?" Chandler asked, grinning.

"Thank you," Joey said.

"Oh, don't worry Joe...I got it in college all the time because, oh wait...because I'm six months younger than you Bing," Ross said.

"See, I told you one day you'd have the upper hand," Chandler said when the front door intercom buzzed. They all stared at each other awkwardly and looked over at Chandler and Monica. Joey knew who it was. It was Lizzie of course and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel.

"Who is that?" Chandler asked.

"I'll let them in," Rachel said walking towards the keypad and pressing the button, "hello."

"Hi, it's Lizzie...and Lauren," came the voice through the intercom. Rachel buzzed them in and then quickly retreated to her room. Joey watched her walk into her room, wondering what she could possibly be doing.

Lizzie and Lauren are in town?" Chandler asked.

"I invited them. I wanted to spend my birthday with them. I should right? I know I should have said something but-"

"It's alright, Joe," Chandler said.

"It's just...I don't know why this is all so awkward," Joey said as the doorbell rang. When Joey opened the door, Lizzie and Lauren stood in the doorway. Joey ushered her and Lauren in and gave both a quick hug as they all stood silently staring at each other when Rachel walked out of her room holding a cellophane wrapped toothbrush.

"Lizzie, welcome," Rachel said.

"Rachel Green?" Lizzie said.

"Yes, I bought you a present," Rachel said as she handed Lizzie the toothbrush, "Welcome to New York."

Lizzie laughed, as did everyone else...at least everyone familiar with the whole prank. Lauren looked confused. Joey knew the prank. He had heard it so many times. Lizzie had dropped a girl's toothbrush in the toilet at the camp she had attended with Rachel and Chandler. Lizzie had told Chandler that Rachel had done it and Chandler filled Rachel's bed with peanut butter. He was thankful for that prank now, thankful for Rachel making it less awkward.

"Thank you, Rachel," Lizzie said. "And I told Chandler the truth. You did not drop a toothbrush in the toilet at camp. I did."

"You did?" Lauren asked.

"It doesn't matter, Rach. I would have pranked you anyway. You were obnoxious," Chandler said.

"I was not," Rachel said.

"Yeah, you kinda were," Ross said.

"Bite me, Gellar. You had a shrine to me in your bedroom," Rachel said, glaring at him.

"Welcome, see I told you it wouldn't be awkward," Joey said.

"I guess, hi Ross," Lizzie said as Ross got up to walk towards her. The two hugged.

"Hi, great to see you," Ross said.

"Great to see you too. How's Carol?" Lizzie asked.

"She's a lesbian," Ross said.

"Well...that's nice," Lizzie said.

Ross laughed, as he gave her a look, "you know that."

"I know, I really don't know what to say, I just-" Lizzie said as Chandler approached her and put his arm around her.

"I don't know why this should be so awkward for you Liz," Chandler said, "I mean, just 'cause you're hanging out with your ex-boyfriend, your friend with benefits and your baby daddy….how can it be-oh, I see. Hey, anyone wanna go to Wendy's?"

Joey laughed as Lizzie elbowed Chandler in the ribs. His nerves started to fade, leave it to his friends to make everything less awkward. Leave it to Chandler to crack everyone up.

"I apologize for my husband….he's just, well, you know-" Monica said.

"I know but...you know, you did a good job," Lizzie said.

"We both did a good job," Monica said.

"I'm not sure how I feel about this budding friendship," Chandler said.

"Come on, I want you to meet Emma," Rachel said as she took Emma from Chandler and grabbed Lizzie's arm, pulling her off. Monica and Phoebe followed as Chandler approached Joey.

"See, it's not awkward," Chandler said.

"I can always count on you to make it less awkward," Joey said.

"I know, right….hey, Liz….this is the guy you dumped me for," Chandler joked, pointing at Joey as he walked towards Monica. Joey walked towards Lizzie as he noticed Ross talking to Lauren.

"You know, Lizzie, you can have him back," Monica said.

"So what was it? His hair? His ruggedly good looks that drove you into his arms and away from me?" Chandler asked.

"Yes, Chandler that was it and not the undiagnosed raging drug and alcohol problem," Lizzie said.

"See, Mon….you were wrong," Chandler said as he placed his arm around Monica and pulled her towards him.

"Good one, Liz….you're fitting in nicely," Joey said.

"I hope so," Lizzie said as Joey put his arm around her. The awkwardness did fade as the group sat for dinner which was take out. Monica had not been able to cook, of course, so they ordered pizzas which Joey was perfectly okay with. Looking around the table, it really was a new group. They were now couples. Everyone was paired up with who they were supposed to be paired up with. They were now no longer a group of six, they were a group of eight and Mike and Lizzie made perfect new additions. Later on, the group sat around the living eating cake as Lauren watched Emma from the couch. Rachel had given Lauren magazines to read as well so she wouldn't get too bored listening to all the stories. It seemed so easy though, the eight of them.

"So she lives in Ohio?" Lizzie asked, she wanted to know more and Monica was happy to tell her.

"Yes and her name is Erica….I'm gonna be a mom and Chandler is gonna be a dad," Monica grinned.

"I'm so happy for you. You're gonna love being a mom," Lizzie said.

"I know I will. I'm gonna be an amazing mom," Monica said.

Joey was amazed at how well Monica and Lizzie were getting along. He had heard stories over the years and while he knew they didn't hate each other, they were just okay with each other and knowing a friendship was forming made him feel very giddy.

"Chandler, would you have you believed me if I had said I hadn't dropped the toothbrush in the toilet?" Rachel asked, from her spot next to Ross. Joey hadn't really been paying attention to them and apparently they had been having an entirely separate conversation.

"No. I still think you're lying," Chandler said.

"Didn't you also have sex with two different guys at that camp?" Monica asked, grinning from ear to ear. Joey looked at Rachel, his mouth dropped. He did not know that at all. Why had Rachel never told him that? There she was, always asking questions and yet she was having sex at camp?

"There is a thirteen year old over there," Rachel said, pointing to Lauren.

"That's okay, I'm not really listening," Lauren said.

"You had sex with two guys at camp?" Ross asked, also grinning at her.

"Okay, one of those guys in that was him," Rachel said pointing at Chandler, "and that's just gross."

"Hey," Monica said.

"Yeah, hey," Lizzie said.

Joey looked at Rachel, kinda loving how they were playing with her. She looked rather annoyed.

"I can't get out of this one," Rachel said.

"Not looking good," Ross said.

"I'm feeling uncomfortable," Mike joked.

"Me too," Phoebe said.

"I did not have any sort of sex at camp. I really want that rumor to die," Rachel said.

"Why? It makes you seem worldly and mature," Phoebe said.

"It makes me look like an eleven year old whore," Rachel said.

Joey did briefly contemplate bringing up the fact that Lizzie and Chandler kissed when they were eleven but he wasn't sure it would be appropriate.

"That too," Phoebe said.

"I think I remember you, Lizzie," Mike said.

"You do?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah, I went to high school with Chandler," Mike said.

"Oh, yeah. I was there a lot," Lizzie said. "I think you made me hide in your hamper once when there was some room check."

"No, there was no room check. I just wanted to see if you could fit in my hamper," Chandler joked. "But I did make Tyler sleep in the common room sometimes."

He kinda liked hearing these stories though. Lizzie and Chandler really did go way back and it was weird to think about. Joey had only heard the stories of their college relationship, he had just heard that it was toxic but it was nice to hear that other side. They were close, she probably knew more about Chandler than anyone else there.

"You made me do that in college," Ross said.

"Yep, I fancied myself quite the stud in high school and college," Chandler said.

"Then I moved in and facade came crashing down," Joey said.

"Exactly," Chandler said.

"Wait, you could have invited me back to your dorm in high school?" Phoebe asked, staring at Chandler. "I could have met Mike earlier. I could've gotten off the streets earlier, Bing."

"I didn't know you were homeless," Chandler said. "If I had known then I would have taken you home, given you food and a shower but you wouldn't have fit in my hamper. You're tall."

"Wait, Phoebe….you really were homeless?" Lizzie asked.

"And a thief," Rachel said.

"Get off the damn phone and pay attention to what's going on around you," Phoebe joked.

"Don't steal my stuff," Rachel said.

"Wait...back then or now because if we're talking now…." Phoebe said.

"Oh, no, no, back then. Now, you can steal my stuff," Rachel said, laughing.

"Phew, good...'cause you have a jacket that I took four months ago and you're not getting it back," Phoebe said.

"I know….I bought another one," Rachel said.

"Actually, I took the new one. You might need to buy another one," Monica said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"I have a couple pairs of your boots you're also not getting back," Phoebe said.

"I have some of your tops," Monica said.

"Okay, both of you...stop," Rachel said.

"You need to keep better track of your stuff," Ross teased.

"But Phoebe, you were homeless? Chandler, you owe me a million dollars. Remember? We went out after that movie and you told me about this girl who was hungry and looked homeless and I bet you a million dollars she was homeless and you were like, no she wasn't. Pay up," Lizzie said.

"Your boyfriend owes me over two hundred grand," Chandler said to which all eyes landed on Joey. Everyone turned to look at Joey, he even noticed Lizzie and Lauren looking at him. Emma even seemed to be giving him some serious side eye.

"We have a very special relationship," Joey said.

"I thought you said you spent more on me?" Phoebe asked.

"Trust fund wise. Actual out of pocket money, Tribbiani," Chandler said.

"I thought our friendship was worth more than money. I mean, if I had that kind of money, I would have spent it on you...because we're friends and brothers," Joey said.

"I hate it when you do that," Chandler said.

"'Cause it always works," Joey said.

"Fuck," Chandler muttered and the laughter continued. It was an evening that just seemed so perfect, so wonderfully drama-free. They relived old memories, brought up old stories and made new ones. Lizzie seemed to fit right in, as did Mike. They really were no longer six friends but couples, families. They were starting on their own. He loved hearing the stories of the past, hearing about the fun parts of Lizzie and Chandler's relationship. He had heard so much of bad stuff but hearing the fun parts thrilled him.

After everyone had left for the evening, Lizzie and Joey got their own alone time. Rachel was across the hall in Monica and Chandler's guest bedroom with Emma and Lauren had taken over Rachel's room and it was just the two of them in his room. He walked in and saw her lying there waiting for him and it just made his heart jump as he closed the door and crawled in next to her.

"So fun evening?" Joey asked.

"It really, really was….G-d, seeing everyone, meeting Phoebe….I hadn't seen Mike since high school, do you really owe Chandler over two hundred grand?"

"He wanted to do it," Joey complained. "I am not taking advantage of him."

"I know. It's just Kip and Gandalf-"

"I know, Ross has told me. It's different…..you already know my ties. It was either continue my job with Tony or con some poor sap into letting me live with him rent free, so there you go," Joey said.

"You made the right choice."

"I thought so and the fact that I love the guy is even better. Hey, did you two really do it behind a Wendy's?" Joey asked.

"I can't….he really has told you that?" Lizzie asked.

"Oh, he's told everyone that. He's even told the two girls he dated between you and Monica that," Joey said.

"Yes, we did it behind a Wendy's. It was the first day of freshman year of college, we were in a good mood and we met Ross, hated him 'cause he seemed like he had a stick up his ass and I guess we were feeling frisky and ended up doing it in the parking lot of a Wendy's."

"Nice….hey, when we went on our date, you said you had a quote unquote friend who had a Corvette….it was him, wasn't it? You did it in Sally?" Joey asked.

"Yep. You know Sally?"

"I've seen the pictures. So you went from a Corvette to a Ford pick up?"

"That was an awesome truck. That thing was huge," Lizzie said.

"It is….wait, are we talking about my truck?" Joey asked.

"Very funny. I did like your truck and I liked dating you. It was easy and fun and-"

"You know that summer, Tony wanted me to kill a guy. I didn't…..so I watched him get his head blown off."

"Well, I didn't need to know that," Lizzie said. "But….it was nice. You know, I didn't have to worry and….I liked being with you."

"Me too. You know, you're the 'oh crap' girl. Chandler told us that story too. He said 'I love you' and you said, 'oh, crap,'" Joey grinned.

"Yes, I did. First, he also cheated on me in Amsterdam that summer….with a prostitute and-okay, we were on and off in some way for seven years and never once did he say 'I love you'. The first time he said it was coming back from Israel, after everything he had done and gotten G-d knows how drunk and that's when he said it. It was weird and so when he said it, I said, 'oh crap' and I had planned to be with you."

"Sorry."

"I know….can I ask you something?" Lizzie asked.

"Of course."

"Have you ever….I'm lying in here and thinking….what about you? I mean, have you had any serious relationships? Have you ever fallen in love with anyone and not friends with benefits and not a friendship…..truly fallen for someone?" Lizzie asked.

Joey bit his lip as he looked down at his bed. He didn't like this conversation. He wanted to go back to talking about Chandler. He liked talking about Chandler. He liked talking about people that made him happy. Not this.

"No."

"Oh."

Joey moved closer to her, grabbing her hand as she seemed slightly sad all of the sudden. He needed to fix this, Lizzie was different. He wanted to prove he was different.

"Okay, alright….I've never been in a relationship that's lasted longer than a couple months and I've had some….well I haven't always been-"

"Faithful?"

"Yes."

"So how am I different?"

"Well, you're the mother of my child."

"Okay. Joey, if it hadn't been for a string of coincidences. Chandler getting temporarily transferred to Tulsa and feeling lonely and wanting to catch up and then him calling me out when he figured out who Lauren's dad was….and him being friends with you….if hadn't been for coincidence, I probably would be like all the other girls."

"That's not true."

"Joe. Why am I different? Why should I trust you? I mean, can you honestly say you're never going to….that you'll be faithful? You were forced into a relationship. Is it what you want?"

"Yes."

"Really? I believe you will be part of Lauren's life and do believe you want to but I'm not an idiot. You were accused of raping a girl. You have a reputation, am I wrong?"

"No. Okay, alright….I can't promise that I will never hurt you. I don't know. I don't….I do want…I don't know but I do know that when you go to Tulsa, I miss you. I know that I think about you when you're not here and wonder what you're thinking and I've never done that. I've never missed a girl really….and there are very few women that I feel protective over and would go to bat for. My sisters, my mother, Monica, Phoebe and Rachel, Kristi…..you. I think it's amazing how you raised Lauren by yourself. How strong she is, how resilient….you did that and….look, okay, we've dealt with Chandler and his drugs and stuff and if I've learned anything, he can never promise that he'll be clean and sober for the rest of his life. He can promise today. So I can promise today. I want you."

Lizzie looked at him as if she were absorbing all this information. She let out a sigh as she kept staring, rolling everything over in her head.

"You're not a drug addict and you're not an alcoholic, I want tomorrow promised too."

"Deal," Joey said, laughing but he did feel her tension. He could feel her lack of trust in him and it made him uneasy. "I know...I know have a reputation. I know...I know if it hadn't been for a bunch of coincidences, I wouldn't be with you and I wouldn't know Lauren and I'll admit, I had my doubts but….I see what Ross and Rachel have, for as twisted as it is, I see what Phoebe and Mike have, I see what Monica and Chandler have and I want that. I've never wanted that but I do….and I want it to be with you and not just 'cause you're the mother of my child….'cause you get it and I like that."

Lizzie smiled as he leaned in to kiss her. She kissed back, he wanted all of her. He wanted to be in her, hold her, be near her. He had never felt this with any girl, that was a well known fact but he had never felt such a desire to prove that he could be faithful, that he could hold onto a girl. It felt different with Lizzie. It just felt different.

Over hot dogs and the sound of the Knicks, Joey couldn't stop thinking about Lizzie, about their conversation. Lizzie went out to lunch with the girls and Chandler, Ross and Mike took Joey to the game but he couldn't concentrate. He just kept thinking about that conversation and his silence didn't go unnoticed. After the game, the boys headed to a nearby sports bar for pizza and beers for Ross, Mike and Joey and Red Bull for Chandler. Joey thought maybe he could ask.

"Can I ask you boys something?" Joey asked.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Monica. Rachel. Phoebe. How did you know? I mean, Liz and I were talking last night and it came up that I've never actually had a serious relationship, that I've never told a girl I loved her….how did you know?"

The three guys exchanged looks as Joey watched them. He wanted answers. He wanted to know how they knew.

"I don't know. I just like to be with Monica. She's my favorite person and I enjoy being with her and I just want be with her all the time," Chandler said.

"I missed Phoebe. I mean, the whole time we were broken up, I couldn't stop thinking about her and weird things would happen that only Pheebs would get a kick out of….like one time I saw two squirrels humping in Central Park and the only person I wanted to tell was Phoebe," Mike said.

"She would love that," Chandler said.

"I know, of course, that laugh…..that laugh is so incredible," Mike said.

"You're lucky….you get to have that laugh for the rest of your life," Chandler said.

"I know," Mike said.

"What about you Ross? Even though you and Rachel are….twisted," Joey said.

"I just like being with Rachel. I love how she surprises me. I've known her for wow, almost thirty years and yeah we've had drama….I think that's pretty well known but in the almost three decades I've known her, she just surprises me. Still. I love that. She's constantly changing and I know I haven't always reacted well to her changing but….she amazes me," Ross said.

"I guess….Lizzie and I talked last night and she's scared and she's….I don't know. She said I was kinda forced into a relationship."

"Well, you were," Chandler said.

"Would you be in a relationship with her if you didn't have Lauren?" Mike asked.

"That's a good question," Ross said.

"Yeah, would you be?" Chandler asked.

"I don't know…..but I look at that kid and I know we joke but my G-d, she's well adjusted. She is so not as messed up as you would think she would be and Lizzie did that. Lizzie taught that girl to handle things the way she has handled this entire thing. Lauren clearly could have gone the other way and….that….that amazes me. So I don't know if I would have dated Liz or if she would have just been another girl but she's not….I want to be around that. That kind of strength….and I hate that I wasn't there at the beginning," Joey said.

"I guess the key is finding someone worth changing for…..look, I was never clean with Lizzie. Never sober. I lost her and it hurt but when I almost lost Monica, it killed. I can't lose her. I'm clean because losing Mon would kill me," Chandler said.

"And-and you know, I wasn't gonna get married again. I really didn't want to, my ex is insane….I was telling the truth but Phoebe is so…so….I need her. She keeps things….fun and I love that. She's just so...fantastically weird. That's how I feel. Chandler's right...you willing to change for Liz?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. I am. It'll be tough, but I am," Joey said and it was true, he did. He wasn't sure how good he would be at it but he wanted to at least try.

"By the way, fantastically weird? Best description of Phoebe ever," Chandler said.

"I think so," Mike said.

"You know, let's toast our girls," Ross said as he picked up his glass and other three followed suit, "to Rachel, Phoebe, Monica and Lizzie….for putting up with us, for sticking with us-"

"And for making us want to just be better," Chandler said.

"Here, here," Mike said as they clinked their beers and Red Bull together. Joey noticed that Chandler quickly wiped his Red Bull off with a napkin as if there was a possibility that their beer could have transferred to his Red Bull. Joey smiled a little at that, it was as if Monica was on his mind at all times.

"Oh, and it helps that all four of them are ridiculously hot," Joey said.

"Here, here," Mike said.

"Well, I think Monica looks like a turd bucket but you know, that's Chandler's taste," Ross joked.

"Hey, hey...actually, Mon's the hottest of all four of our girls," Chandler said.

"Ewww, no….have you seen Rachel? 'Cause I have and she's been hot all the way through, no awkward teen years. She went from one stage to the next being hot. Childhood, preteen, teen, adulthood…...she has never had a single awkward stage. Not many people can accomplish that," Ross said.

"Wait, no...no, Phoebe is tall and blonde and hot," Mike said. "I win."

"Actually, Liz is pretty hot and she looks like Monica and she does not look like she's the mother of a thirteen year old," Joey said.

The conversation quickly moved from talking about relationships to comparing the four women in their lives. Of course, there really would be no winner although in Joey's head, he felt he might be. He would continue to prove it. Continue to prove how serious he was about sticking with Lizzie, he liked her and wanted it to continue. It terrified him but he simply didn't care. He wanted to take it as far as it would go.


	63. Chapter 63

**Finale Part 1: 2004**

Watching Phoebe walk towards him made his breath stop. Although part of that may have been because it was freezing and Phoebe and Mike were having their wedding in the midst of a blizzard, but maybe it was more likely that Phoebe was simply stunning. Even Chandler would not stop gazing at her, Ross and Rachel walked together in front of Phoebe and Chandler and Joey couldn't believe he was actually witnessing the wedding of Phoebe Buffay. Not only was he witnessing it, he was officiating. Phoebe had asked. She had told Chandler to walk her down the aisle and Ross was a groomsman.

"Oh my G-d," Mike whispered.

"Take care of that one. She's the best one," Joey said.

"I heard that," Monica said, smiling at him. She had already walked down the aisle with Mike's brother and was standing in her designated bridesmaid spot.

"Well, it's true," Joey said.

"Yeah, it kinda is," Monica said.

"Thanks for calling my name that day," Mike said, looking over at Joey.

"Just came to me….I am a man of G-d," Joey joked as Ross and Rachel separated at the front of the aisle. Rachel stepping off to the side towards Monica. Ross leaned in towards Joey and the two did their lame cool guy handshake before looking at Mike.

"Should we?" Ross asked.

"He's part of us now," Joey said.

"True. Mike, lame cool guy handshake….welcome man," Ross said as he and Mike did the handshake which left Mike feeling positively giddy. Joey laughed as Ross stepped behind Mike.

"How come you won't do that with us?" Rachel asked.

"It's not for girls," Joey said as if stating the obvious as he and Mike did the lame cool guy handshake as well before turning back to Phoebe as Chandler smiled at them and Phoebe stepped forward. Chandler did the handshake with Mike, Joey and Ross before going to sit down in one of the fold out chairs. Joey just wanted to take Phoebe in a bit. She had been his partner in that group of six. They understood each other, they let things go. They didn't dwell on trauma and tragedy. They just moved on and it was why they would always be the perfect fit.

"Joe?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah….okay….we're gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. It is freezing and the cold is quickly spreading to my happy place. So let's do the short version. Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event and I think I speak for everyone here when I say these two are perfect for each other….so let's just skip to the vows. Phoebe?" Joey asked.

"Um…all my life, I've wanted normal and I never got that. I never had a normal childhood or a normal mom and dad….my life has been bizarre to most people but the only thing I've ever wanted was normal and standing here, facing you and surrounded by friends who have become my family, I finally have everything I've ever wanted and everything I'm ever going to need. I love you so much and thank you for giving me my normal. I love you," Phoebe said as she looked towards Monica who handed her the ring. She slipped it on Mike's finger.

"Mike?" Joey asked, beaming. He couldn't believe that he was doing this for a second time and seeing Phoebe so happy filled him with such joy that it almost protected him against the cold. Almost.

"Phoebe….you are so beautiful and kind and generous. You have such amazing strength that it inspires me every single day and of course your laugh keeps me going, it's the most amazing sound and there is no better sound. Phoebe, you are so wonderfully weird, every single day is simply an adventure and I can't believe how lucky I am. I can't wait to share my life with you," Mike said as he slid Phoebe's ring on her her finger.

Joey sniffled a little as he looked at Ross, Rachel, Monica and Chandler. They were all crying. There was just something so wonderful about Phoebe finally getting her happy ending.

"Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband?" Joey asked.

"I do," Phoebe said.

"And Mike do you take this woman to be your wife?" Joey asked.

"I do," Mike said.

"And now with the power invested in me and the state of New York. I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," Joey said.

Phoebe and Mike shared a kiss and everyone applauded. As the newlyweds began to walk down the aisle to applause, Joey stepped towards Ross.

"So, I've officiated Monica and Chandler's wedding. I officiated Phoebe and Mike's. When should I schedule yours and Rachel's?" Joey said.

"Soon. Although you're her ex," Ross grinned.

"Ehhh, we never counted as a relationship. It's always been Ross and Rachel," Joey said.

"Hey, you walking me down the aisle?" Rachel said.

"Or I can marry you two now," Joey said.

"Oh, hell no," Rachel said.

"We're getting married when it's warm….and we're indoors," Ross said as he and Rachel linked arms and walked down the aisle. Joey looked over at Chandler still sitting. He watched as Monica and Mike's brother walked down the aisle. As they got near Chandler's row, they stopped. Monica stood on her toes and seemed to be whispering something in Mike's brother's ear. He smiled at her and nodded, continuing to walk down the aisle alone as Monica walked towards Chandler and held out her hand. He grabbed it as she pulled him up. They walked towards Joey and Monica motioned for him to join her. Joey walked towards her and she linked her other arm in his.

"You've done good Mon," Joey said as they walked towards Central Perk with the rest of Phoebe and Mike's wedding guests. The reception would be in Central Perk.

"I'm sad….I mean, I'm happy but….things are gonna be different and Joey, you have to come visit us in our new home," Monica said.

"I don't want you two moving. I mean that totally screws up play time for Jandler," Joey said.

"Chanoey. It ruins playtime for Chanoey," Chandler said.

"Yeah, that's what's weird about that sentence," Monica said. "But I think Joey should invest more time Lizzie. Go to Lizzie."

"You want me to move to Tulsa?" Joey asked.

"He can't move to Tulsa," Chandler said.

"No, but I think you should really make a concerted effort to be there and make it a family. Look, we're all becoming families now. We're no longer six single people, we're families and you've gotta close the deal," Monica said.

"Are you-are you meddling?" Chandler asked.

"You know what, shut up….and you know, Phoebe said thank you to me for meddling in her relationship and getting Mike to come to Barbados, so I was right," Monica said.

"I still liked David. I could have seen us becoming very good friends," Chandler said.

"Do you like him more than me?" Joey asked.

"Don't do that," Chandler said.

"You know...I wanted to wait after the wedding but I do have an audition….in Los Angeles," Joey said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Well, that's not near Tulsa….or New York," Monica said.

"Nothing has happened yet, it's just an audition. But it's for this show that's gonna be on a premium cable station so like I get to cuss and shit-"

"That's nice," Chandler said, "and fuck yeah."

"It's an amazing role. Chandler, I'll show you the script. I'm playing this guy named Matt and he's an actor who is….he was famous and whatever and he's got this overblown sense of himself, which is totally me and-and he has a private jet which would be kinda cool."

"But it's in Los Angeles?" Chandler asked.

"I have to get the part first. Let's not forget, I've lost out on roles that called for Italian American mafia types…..so I don't know yet."

"What about Lizzie and Lauren?" Monica asked.

"Maybe I can get them to move to Los Angeles," Joey said.

"Joey, really?" Monica asked.

"Look, Liz wanted to be an actress too, right? Well, L.A. would be a great place to audition. It's filled with actresses."

"You're gonna get her to not only move herself but move her daughter to Los Angeles?" Monica asked.

"I can do that. I'm charming. Well, let me get the part first."

"Can I see it? The script?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, let me run upstairs and get it. Central Perk really is the perfect place for a wedding reception," Joey said as he raced up the stairs and grabbed the script. He knew Chandler seemed upset about an audition in Los Angeles, but it really was such an amazing part. He ran back into the coffee shop and saw Monica and Chandler sitting with Ross and Rachel. He handed it to Chandler who opened it with Monica looking over his shoulder and reading with him.

"What is that?" Rachel asked.

"Script. For an audition….in L.A.," Joey said.

"L.A.?" Rachel asked as she looked over at the script and began reading with Monica and Chandler.

"Yeah, my character is Matt," Joey said.

"Wait, doesn't that mean you'd have to move?" Ross asked.

"Probably," Joey said, "but I probably won't get it."

For some reason, he hadn't really thought of that. He hadn't thought of moving and thinking about that made him unsure. Ross leaned in towards Rachel as they all seemed to be reading together. Joey stepped back and walked towards the counter to get some coffee and treats when he felt someone tapping him on the shoulder. He turned and saw Phoebe, grinning at him.

"Can I talk to you?" Phoebe asked as Joey got his coffee and followed Phoebe outside. It was still freezing, but the coffee helped.

"What? And by the way, you look insanely hot."

"Thanks but….uhhhh, I just-do you know how much I love you? I want you to know….I love you so much. You've been my partner in our crazy little group, my other half and I-I love you and I'm-no matter what happens next. I'm gonna miss you. I know our friendship is changing. I'm married and I do think you and Liz might get married but….you're amazing, Joe."

"I love you too, Pheebs. Hey, you and me….we were the coolest two."

"Oh, hell yeah," Phoebe said as she and Joey high fived and hugged each other, tightly. He really did love Phoebe. He loved all five. They each meant so much to him, each held such a special place for him. That audition crept into his mind again. When Estelle had given him the script, he had fallen in love with the script. He had never read anything like it and he wanted it almost as badly as any other part he had ever gotten. Now if only he could convince Lizzie to move with him.

He had been stunned when Lizzie had said she'd attend Kristi's wedding with him. Kristi was marrying Eric and her wedding was a week or so after Phoebe's. He had thought she'd for sure come to Phoebe's but with the blizzard in New York, she was unable to fly in and agreed to go with him to Kristi's wedding. It was so strange to see Kristi getting married. Eric had adopted little Ashley and Kristi was now working at a dance studio and still getting her degree. His whole family was there along with all of his nieces and nephews. It was a kid friendly wedding.

"I'm married….I am actually married," Kristi said as she practically floated towards Joey and Kristi who both stood up to hug her. Joey took a moment though and took in her long white gown.

"Serious question….why are you wearing white? I mean who are we kidding?" Joey asked, grinning as Kristi playfully smacked him.

"Joey," Lizzie admonished.

"You are such an ass," Kristi said.

"What? In there anyone in this room who thinks you're a virgin? And if you say Eric….I'm telling him right now," Joey joked.

"I hate you," Kristi said.

"I know," Joey said.

"And Liz, I am so sorry about Joey. If I had known that he hadn't even given you his number, I would've given it to you myself," Kristi said.

"Oh, it's okay and also, you know Phoebe, Rachel and Monica?" Lizzie asked.

"Of course," Kristi said.

"They've apologized for him too and Monica says she's still working on him," Lizzie said.

"Wait….what?" Joey asked.

"It's a lot of work," Kristi said.

"I know," Lizzie said.

"I feel very used right now," Joey said.

"Okay, guys," Kristi laughed, "I have to mingle and Joe, you know I love you buddy and I love that it's been thirty one years and you have always had my back and I know no matter what happens, I always got you to protect me. Means a lot to me."

"Feeling's mutual. Love you, Kris," Joey said, hugging her before she walked off to go mingle with her new husband. He watched her walk through the crowds of people, she looked stunning, happy, simply happy. He remembered sitting on the floor of her shoebox apartment, eating pizza and staring at her tiny television, before he had met the other five. So much had happened since then and it was incredible they were still part of each other's lives.

"She looks amazing," Lizzie said.

"Yeah…I've known her for thirty one years. It's insane."

"How come you never dated?"

"Never got that far. She's kinda like Pheebs. Friends with benefits….you know, Liz, I wanted to talk to you."

"What?"

"I don't know if here's where I'm supposed to do it but I have to go to L.A. for an audition and I really hope I get it but if I get it….I have to move."

"Awww, deja vu," Lizzie said.

"No, no, come with me. Audition for something. One of the scripts I read was for a show about a grieving sportscaster and his assistant and that assistant role totally reminded me of you," Joey said.

"Why don't you audition for the sportscaster?" Lizzie asked.

"Reminds me too much of Chandler. Come with me to L.A…..audition-"

"I can't-I-have-"

"She's thirteen."

"Yes," Lizzie said.

"She's gonna be fourteen in a few months. Okay, so she spends high school in Los Angeles and then college...she can go anywhere she wants. She's not a baby anymore and you-she's-you raised a badass," Joey said.

"She is kind of a badass."

"She totally is. She's resilient, she's strong….I just-"

"I've already moved her once and-"

"You came to New York to be an actress. You keep saying you can't do it. Oh, you're dating a drug addict and alcoholic so you gotta concentrate on him. Well, you broke up like fifteen years ago, he's clean and married to someone else. You had a kid, well, she's not a little kid anymore. Where's she now?"

"With my sister for the weekend….I didn't want her staying alone."

"But...do you trust that she could have?" Joey asked.

"Yeah."

"Come on, read the script and come to Los Angeles and audition with me."

"Spring Break is coming up….oh, Joey."

"Please. Do it," Joey said.

Lizzie looked at him. He wondered if he was getting to her. He wanted so badly to have her come with him. He couldn't move to Tulsa. He was an actor. New York or L.A. was where he needed to be.

"Holy shit, Christopher's here," Lizzie said.

Joey looked over and saw Christopher talking with Carmela and Tony. He wondered where Adriana was and realized he hadn't talked to her in a long time. He wondered why Adriana wasn't at Kristi's wedding?

"Do you want me to introduce you?" Joey asked.

"No," Lizzie said.

"Okay, I'm gonna go say hello but I want you to think about what I just asked."

"Okay, I'll think about it."

Joey got up and walked towards them. As he approached them, he felt like he was walking into something. He did notice Carmela holding onto Tony's arm. Were they back together?

"Hey, guys," Joey said as he hugged them. "What's going on here?"

"Carmela took me back," Tony said.

"Nice," Joey said.

"Yeah, I love him….what can I say?" Carmela said, rolling her eyes.

"Where's Adriana?" Joey asked.

That question hung like a lead balloon as he noticed Christopher and Tony exchanging uncomfortable looks. His heart dropped to his stomach and something told him that there was something seriously wrong.

"She uh-she left me," Christopher said.

"It's so weird. It's like she vanished off the face of the Earth," Carmela said.

"Really?" Joey asked.

"You know, let's get you something to drink," Tony said as he led Carmela off. Joey glared at Christopher as he grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and looked for Adriana's number. He dialed it and immediately a voice recording said that the number was disconnected or no longer in service. He felt sick to his stomach.

"Holy shit," Joey said, putting his hand over his mouth.

"Hey, is that your baby mama," Christopher said.

"She's dead, isn't she?" Joey asked.

"Who?"

"Asshole. Where's Adriana? Fucking tell me or I will punch you in the face and I don't want to do that here because I like Kristi more than you and I'm not introducing you to Lizzie because you held her at gunpoint."

"Alright, follow me," Christopher said as he motioned for Joey to follow him outside. The two men walked out of the reception area and towards some couches.

"Tell me," Joey said.

"Did you know?"

"Know what?"

"She was an FBI informant. She was wired. She was spilling secrets," Christopher said.

"I-I didn't know," Joey said of course lying.

"Bitch kept wanting to marry me and she was fucking crazy and then told me we should get married 'cause she's a fucking FBI informant, I mean-"

"You're an idiot," Joey said.

"What?"

"Marital privilege, moron."

"What?"

"Fuck….if she married you, everything that you said to her would fall under marital privilege, therefore she wouldn't have to disclose anything. She was trying to save you and you killed her?"

"I didn't….Silvio did."

"You had her killed instead of just marrying her."

"I had to...she could have brought down the entire Soprano family."

"Oh my G-d….you had her killed. I want to punch you in the throat so badly. Fuck….I just...you loved this woman."

"I love the family more."

"I need to leave….I can't be here….I can't be sitting with you. I just….yeah, I-I can't-you had her killed. Christopher, this woman loved you for some bizarre reason."

"I know but….I do miss her."

"Yeah, well, I don't really...yeah, I'm done….go to hell, Chris," Joey said, getting up and walking into the reception. He walked back towards the table and sat next to Lizzie.

"Are you okay?" Lizzie asked.

"Not really. Christopher's girlfriend is dead," Joey said.

"Oh, I'm sorry….how...what….oh, G-d," Lizzie said as if she suddenly got it. She looked over at Christopher walking back into the room. The color drained from her face as she looked at Joey. "How did she die?"

"He had her killed. She was an informant," Joey said.

"Oh my G-d," Lizzie said.

"I need to go to Los Angeles just like last time….but this time-"

"I'll come with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I can't….I can't keep making excuses as to why I'm not acting. I need to try and you're right, Lauren's a pretty tough kid and she's still friends with kids she grew up with in New York and she can pretty much make friends anywhere. She reminds me of you in that way."

Lizzie gently stroked his arm. He felt sad, he actually liked Adriana. He began to wonder if he could have done something, the same thoughts he had with Brian.

"Could I have stopped it?" Joey asked.

"No. I mean, how?"

"Adriana told me she was an informant. That Chris sold drugs out of her club and the FBI wanted secrets."

"She was already in too deep. You couldn't have done a thing but….I'm glad you got out and I can audition with you and if we both get those parts….well, that'll be awesome."

"You know, dance with me," Joey said.

Lizzie nodded as they stood up. He took her hand and stepped onto the floor. He loved holding her as she gently rested her head on his chest. He kissed her head, he was falling for her and it didn't scare him. He just did not want to leave her side.


	64. Chapter 64

**Finale Part 2: 2004**

He hadn't been in Los Angeles in so long. It was still warm and pretty and he liked that he could afford to stay at a fancier hotel now. This time, it almost felt like a family vacation. They spent two weeks in Los Angeles. It was spring break and Joey had a hiatus from Days and Lizzie had accrued a lot of vacation time apparently so for two weeks, they played. They did family things like going to Disneyland where Joey retold the story of cleaning up Ross' shit and Lizzie told him how Lauren had been with her when they had gone on Ross and Carol's honeymoon and Ross and Carol had sex behind the wooden dutch children. Disneyland was fun and it actually felt like they were a family of three. It wasn't all fun and games, though, they still needed to audition. First Joey had his and then Lizzie had her's. He thought it was cute how nervous and scared she was about auditioning. The end of that trip though came with even better, more surprising news. They had both gotten the roles they had auditioned for which meant they would have to move to L.A. which unlike last time, would be a little more stressful. Sure, Lauren knew there was a possibility that they'd have to move to Los Angeles but neither Lizzie nor Joey wanted to get their hopes up until it was time.

"We're moving to Los Angeles?" Lauren asked over a pancake place called The Griddle where they were eating pancakes the size of their heads.

"I think so," Joey said.

"Okay, so because you haven't screwed me up yet, you think this might do the trick?" Lauren asked.

"Sweetie," Lizzie said.

"Look, I begged your mom to audition and-"

"And mom, I'm so happy you got that part. I am so, so happy," Lauren said.

"Me too. I didn't think it would happen," Lizzie said.

"I started to get comfortable in Tulsa and I like it and-"

"The winters are better here than they are in New York or Tulsa. Believe me," Joey said.

"But Dad, why can't you move to Tulsa?" Lauren asked.

"'Cause my job requires me to live in either L.A. or New York," Joey said.

"Lauren, I want us to be a family. I want us to be together. The three of us. Wouldn't that be amazing? You make friends easily….and I also know you want a family...well we got one, kid," Lizzie said.

"I'm starting high school," Lauren said.

"Perfect place for me to teach you to drive. I want to teach you to drive," Joey said. "Look, I want your mom to do this. She came to New York to be an actress."

"I know," Lauren said, "but then she dated Chandler."

"I needed to take care of him."

"Which is bullshit," Joey said.

"Is not," Lizzie said.

"Yes, it is. Now, that I know both Ross and Chandler, it's bullshit. The reason Ross didn't want you sleeping in their dorm room was to give you a break. He was the one who drove Chandler's drunk ass around in college plus he begged you to audition when you still lived in New York and Lauren was in kindergarten. So, if you had gone to Ross and said, 'hey, can you make sure Chandler is okay while I go on an audition' what do you think he would have said? I've also known him for a long time now, I know the answer."

"He would've said okay," Lizzie said.

"Damn right he would have and you also broke up with Chandler before your junior year, right, so-" Joey said.

"I was pregnant," Lizzie said, "with her."

"Thanks, mom," Lauren said.

"And? Come on, Liz and that play I was in with your friend, Kate Miller-"

"Oh, I remember her. She was nice," Lauren said.

"No, she wasn't," Joey said.

"Kate wasn't nice to Joey….I don't feel bad though," Lizzie said.

"But Kate wanted you in that play," Joey said.

"But then I saw you," Lizzie said.

"Which should have told you I wasn't in the mob," Joey said.

"How? I don't know what a mob guy's work schedule is like. It doesn't really seem like a nine to five gig," Lizzie said.

"Mom, I think you should take the part," Lauren said.

"Honey," Lizzie said.

"No, he's right. There's no reason. I'll make friends in Los Angeles and it would be amazing to finally be a family and-and I can be the exotic new girl who's lived in three different states-"

"And has a dad who is Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days of Our Lives," Joey said.

"I'm not opening with that," Lauren said.

"You know that means you'll have to leave Chandler?" Lizzie asked.

"I know. But he and Mon are moving to a house in Westchester and they're having a kid. Phoebe and Mike are moving to Nashville."

"They are?" Lizzie asked.

"I got a call while you were in the shower this morning, apparently they found a bar in Nashville like the BlueBird and they want to run it….so they're moving and Ross and Rachel have a daughter and they'll probably have more kids and get married and Rachel….she got a job in Paris so she might be moving or I don't know. So….let's start our life. We'll go back. Monica's gonna make us spend Thanksgiving with them and as soon as we get engaged, she's gonna start planning our wedding and I can't wait."

"Wait, engaged?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah. Come on, take the part," Joey said.

"Come on, Mom and can we eat these pancakes a lot 'cause they're really good," Lauren said.

Joey and Lauren both kept staring at Lizzie. Lizzie kept looking like she was seriously thinking about it. She let out a sigh and nodded.

"Okay, let's move to L.A.. I'll take that part," Lizzie said.

"Yay," Lauren cheered as Joey hugged Lizzie and kissed her. Lizzie laughed as he kept hugging her. Living in Los Angeles with Lizzie would be spectacular. It really would. Having them finally be together as a family, something he never knew he wanted was even better.

Back in New York, Lauren wanted to hang out with her friends, Becca and Haley. He loved that he knew Lauren's friends now. He knew the names of her friends in New York, her friends in Tulsa and soon he'd have to learn the names of her friends in their new hometown. After dropping Lauren off, they raced into Central Perk, thrilled to announce his news.

"I got a part...on this show. It's unbelievable," Joey said.

"It's called, Seasons...Joey, it is such a funny show," Lizzie said.

"It is. It's about this British couple who has this hit show in England and they bring it to America and they completely fuck it up and I play this guy, this washed up actor known for playing a moron and I'm kind of a douchebag on the show...it's so good," Joey said, he had given them the script during Phoebe's wedding but he wasn't sure how much they had read. Nothing had really been said of it, they said it was good but it could have been like any other audition. Now it was real. Now he had it.

"Really?" Monica asked.

"It is so funny," Lizzie said.

"And the best part...my character has a giant dick," Joey said, that was a new development. The producers asked if he was okay with his character having a giant penis and he didn't argue.

"That is the best part," Lizzie grinned, giving Joey a kiss.

"So...you and Lizzie are gonna move to L.A.?" Monica asked.

"Yeah...it's gonna be...this show is amazing. This...I even had Liz read it and she said it was awesome and...it's good," Joey said, he was so excited. He just kept rambling, not really paying attention to Monica or Phoebe or even paying attention to what he was saying. It was when Chandler walked into Central Perk with plastic FAO Schwartz bags when he suddenly felt like he had been hit by a truck. Chandler. He'd have to leave Chandler. Yes, he knew that was the case but seeing his friend standing there made it even more real.

"Chandler, did you go shopping again?" Monica asked.

"But this is necessary. Okay, okay...look how cute this is," Chandler said as he pulled a tiny pink onesie with little cupcakes printed on it out of a bag. "I mean, what if the baby gets cold."

"Oye...Chandler," Monica grinned.

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"Chandler won't stop buying stuff for the baby. Chandler, we're moving in like three weeks. We discussed this. We'll buy basics and once we're in the new house then we can go nuts and baby stuff. We're gonna have to pack all that," Monica said.

"This was important," Chandler said. "So what did I miss?"

"Well...Joey was telling us-"

"I'll tell him," Joey said, interrupting Monica, "remember when I went to Los Angeles a couple weeks ago for that audition?"

"Yeah," Chandler said.

"I got the part. I'm...I'm gonna be moving to Los Angeles, buddy," Joey said.

He could see Chandler's face just fall and his heart broke. Moving to L.A. the first two times had been fine but this was going to be painful. He hadn't felt much emotion those times but now he simply wanted to cry.

"Oh, well congrats man...wow...I'm gonna go put these bags away," Chandler said as he turned and walked out of Central Perk.

"I'll go talk to him," Monica said.

"No...let me," Joey said getting up and walking out of the coffee shop, towards the building.

"Can I talk to you?" Joey asked.

"No, I'm fine...congratulations."

"Hmmmm...wow, you might be a bigger idiot than I am," Joey said.

"Excuse me?" Chandler asked, confused.

He knew Chandler too well. It broke him to know he would be leaving him but he knew he would do everything in his power to keep in touch with his brother. He had no choice but he knew Chandler. Chandler thought the friendship was ending.

"You really think that after everything we've been through, I'm gonna move across the country and never speak to you again," Joey said.

"I never said that."

"You're thinking it."

"You don't know what I'm thinking," Chandler said as he opened the door to the building and stepped inside, Joey walked in with him and the two began walking up the flights of stairs.

"Chandler look...everything is changing you know. You and Monica are moving to the suburbs and starting a family. Rachel might be moving to Paris, Phoebe is moving to Nashville and I'm a father...I'm thirty six years old and...and...I thought for a very long time that I would love to be one of those creepy old guys that hits on eighteen year olds while sleeping in a room over your garage but then I met Lauren and I missed so much and...I want to be there. I wanna be with Lizzie, I wanna have kids with her. Kids that I'm around to see and this part...it's amazing. Both Lizzie and I got the parts we auditioned for."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Liz is gonna be in some dramedy about a sportscaster whose wife dies-"

"Sounds funny," Chandler remarked, sarcastically

"I read the script, it's pretty good. He has to join some support group and...and Lizzie is going to play the sportscaster's assistant and-and the show I'm gonna be in? Come on, you can't tell me that it's not the perfect role for me?" Joey said.

"I guess. You're still leaving," Chandler said.

"Still gonna be here during Thanksgiving and Christmas...and if I have to be in New York for any reason, I'm staying with you. I mean we're...we're Jandler."

"Chanoey," Chandler corrected.

"Jandler sounds cooler and if I get nominated for an award," Joey said.

"I'll be in Los Angeles."

"And we can still play videogames...we'll use headsets."

"Yeah...won't be the same though," Chandler said.

"I know...but you're still my brother and when Liz and I do get married...you're my best man."

"Over Ross?"

"Always," Joey grinned.

"Wait...when?"

"Yeah. She's a great girl."

"I always thought so."

"Yeah. You put her through hell though," Joey teased.

"That I did. You're a better guy for her. I'm glad you two are together and I can't wait for the wedding. My speech will be awesome."

Joey smiled at him as the two men stared silently at each other before leaning in for one of their many signature hugs.

"Did I ever thank you?" Chandler asked as the two walked toward Joey and Rachel's apartment.

"Lots of times," Joey said.

"No. That Halloween party...when Shane saw me. I don't know if you knew what he said. He was threatening to kick my ass and then called me a name...and then you appeared out of nowhere and told him to leave and...I appreciated that a lot. You didn't have to and I knew you probably didn't know-"

"I had an idea. Shane was an asshole, Bing. When you walked into the party that night, he pointed you out and I said I wasn't sure who you were and then a few minutes later I saw him talking to you but not in a friendly way. I don't know what he said although I have an idea," Joey was pretty sure he had told Bing this story before.

"Thanks for sticking up for me. Thanks for sticking by me...just thank you."

"You're welcome and thank you for helping with my career...and for being such a dick to your college girlfriend that she decided to cheat on you with a hot Italian guy she met in her acting class," Joey grinned which made Chandler laugh.

"Anytime my friend."

 _"Baywatch?"_

"Let's do it," Chandler said as they walked in, Chandler grabbing a chair as Joey got the Baywatch DVDs ready and the two soon were sitting side by side, watching _Baywatch_ , one episode after the other.

"I hate that I have to leave you, you know that right? Thank you….thank you for not kicking me out when you realized I couldn't afford to pay and I will pay you back. I promise," Joey said after pausing one of the DVD's.

"No, don't worry….I don't really give a crap about the money….'cause what I got from you….I can't put a pricetag on that. I never had a brother and I'm so glad it was you and I'm so sad that you're leaving."

"And you're leaving too. Westchester will be happy to have you."

"Monica is letting me have a man cave."

"Whoa….and also, and I know this has been said but man, if you need anything, if you're close to falling off the wagon, whatever….call me. I'll be three hours earlier. You won't wake me."

"Thank you and I can't wait to watch your show."

Joey smiled as they continued watching. That would be the toughest part, leaving Chandler. They had been through so much that he couldn't imagine Chandler not being part of his life every single day. The thought nauseated him. For as happy as he was, the idea of leaving those five behind made him not want to leave.

Saying goodbye. He had gone to Los Angeles twice in his life, he had moved and really didn't think too much about what he was leaving behind. He just left but it was different this time. Phoebe and Mike were moving to Nashville to open up their bar/lounge. Rachel was going to open up her own store with help from Chandler's trust fund and Monica and Chandler were now living in suburbia with their twins, Jack and Erica. The tears flowed as he looked at each of them. They were everything.

"I can't believe you're really leaving," Rachel said, wiping the tears away from her face.

"You're coming back for Thanksgiving," Monica said.

"Yes but….and thank you, Monica for...for everything. All of you," Joey said as the six held on to each other, tears flowing. Mike and Lizzie stepped back, letting them have their moment. So much had gone on between them. So much laughter, so much drama, so much love. It was happy, maybe not always but usually it was. It would be weird to not see them, to not be part of each other's lives. Getting on that plane made him want to get back off. He wanted to be near his family.

In Los Angeles, they bought a house in a trendy neighborhood by the beach. Lauren got her own room and went to a small private school where just as predicted she made friends pretty quickly but it was still weird. They had dinner as a family and Lauren retreated to her room to work on homework or her MySpace page. Joey had no clue what that was but Lizzie had told her to that she could have one to keep in touch with her friends in Tulsa and her friends in New York. She kept talking about Top 8's and Top 12's and Joey just nodded. Lizzie did most of the parenting though because he just wasn't sure. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, how far he should push. He didn't want to drive Lauren away.

"So….what am I supposed to do?" Joey asked as he was cleaning up after dinner. Lizzie was helping him as well.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm not….I've never done this. The family thing. I mean, I was...I've-I mean….how do I parent her? Do I? She…."

"You can parent her but well, she's an easy kid...we'll both have to get MySpace pages so we can be her friend online."

"What?" Joey asked, confused.

"The internet….it's weird and this MySpace thing is weird. Have you ever been in a chat room?"

"No."

"See...the internet and being online, it's a whole new world that we have to understand so we have to monitor that. Closely."

"I just don't want to overstep anything or-"

"You won't and it's not her I'm worried about on the internet. Look, she's a good kid. You'll get the hang of it. I'm not going to worry about her dating yet. We just moved here. It's gonna be okay Joe."

"I miss them."

"I know," Lizzie said.

"I wanna call Chandler."

Lizzie smiled as she walked towards him, gently touching his arm and kissing him.

"Don't worry so much. You've got this. I trust you."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"Okay…..I still miss them."

"I know."

"I want to buy Chandler a Corvette."

"What?"

"Before I buy you an engagement ring, I want-I want to buy Chandler a Corvette. Another Sally."

"Okay?" Lizzie sounding a little a confused as to his train of thought.

"But I do wanna….wanna propose….I don't know how to do this."

"You're doing good. Look, this is new for me too. I've been doing this alone for a long time and it's gonna be weird and-and take some getting used to on both of our parts….I will give you one piece of advice."

"What?"

"If she says well my mom lets me do something, ask me if I really do….and I'll do the same for you," Lizzie said.

"Awww, the playing parents against each other game. I know that one. Never worked at my house. My parents would just scream at each other from different rooms, 'hey, do you let 'em do this,'" Joey laughed.

"Yeah, I just have a feeling she'll try it. I would if I were her," Lizzie said, "but wait….go back a bit, I wanna go back to the proposal. I mean, I understand Chandler is more important than I am. Monica explained everything. You and Chandler have kissed three times-"

"Why did she tell you that?" Joey asked.

"Because she feels and I agreed with her that both of us need to be fully accepting of Jandler at all times and just not ask questions."

"It...well….it meant nothing…..but if you and Monica ever decide you want to get back at us and just make out, I'm sure we'll both be fine with it."

"Good to know but….you do want to propose?"

"Yeah. I do. I wanna have more babies with you and I'm terrified but….it's gonna….okay."

"It will be. Here's the secret about parenting. No one really knows what they're doing."

"You do."

"You're only saying that 'cause I've kept her alive for fourteen years but I'll let you in on a secret. I'm making everything up as I go along," Lizzie said.

"Rachel says that about Emma."

"One time, the tooth fairy forgot to give her money for a tooth and she asked me about it and I just said, the Tooth Fairy had a really long day, was super tired and frankly really wasn't in the mood. She had a lot of kids that night and can't get to everyone...to be honest, I completely forgot. She told me she lost the tooth, I just wanted a glass of wine and a nap instead," Lizzie said.

"My parents hated it 'cause there were so many of us," Joey said. "I think they stopped after child number five. I remember, they told Veronica the Tooth Fairy died."

"And let's not forget, I'm the same mother who let her daughter continue with her crush on Dr. Drake Ramoray, all the while knowing she was crushing on her own father," Lizzie said.

"Oh, yeah...ewww, you suck. Why didn't you try to stop that?" Joey asked.

"I didn't know how. I didn't want to tell her the truth yet...I wanted to wait until Chandler Bing blurted it out on Christmas Eve."

"It's really the only way to deliver news," Joey said.

"Exactly. I've made tons of mistakes. When Lauren was in nursery school, the-the teacher said something like she was having a long day or whatever so Lauren said to the teacher, 'hold on, I'll get you wine 'cause that always helps my mommy cheer up,'" Lizzie said.

"That's amazing."

"I know, right. Joe, don't be nervous...we're both trying to figure it out."

Joey nodded, feeling a little bit better about this, knowing that he wasn't alone. Lizzie would be there to help and soon they fell into a routine. Work, school, family. He still missed the others but being busy kept his mind occupied and by October, they were a family unit and a family unit that would buy Chandler a Corvette...or he would buy the Corvette.

He had decided he would do that first. He had to. He knew Sally had meant so much to his friend and Chandler had done so much for him so he decided that he needed to repay him. He made a big plan, called up Monica, had it shipped to Ross and Rachel's where Monica would get it and drive it home. He had an appearance on a talk show and he would talk about the car, he would talk about Chandler and then he'd wait for the call. He'd sit by his cell and wait. New York was three hours ahead, so he kept looking at the clock.

"You think he'll like it?" Joey asked.

"Yes," Lizzie said. "It's an amazing car and it looks exactly like the original Sally."

"I'm still mad at you though."

"We're not discussing this again," Lizzie groaned.

"I was asking one small favor."

"We're in our thirties, I'm not doing it with you in a Corvette in the parking lot of Wendy's. Especially if we're shipping that Corvette to my ex boyfriend."

"Whom you also did it with in the parking lot of a Wendy's…..in his Corvette."

"We were eighteen and it wasn't like we owned a house."

"You're so picky….like age determines when it's no longer appropriate to do it in a sports car behind a fast food restaurant."

"Yes," Lizzie said.

"What if I buy a minivan, will you do with me in there?"

"No."

"How about a horse?"

"No."

"A chicken."

"How do you have sex on a chicken?" Lizzie asked.

"Let's find out."

"No," Lizzie said when Joey's cell rang. He looked over at the clock. It was around 10:00pm which meant in New York, Craig Ferguson was on. The talk show that Joey had guested on, he grabbed his phone and flipped it open.

"So you watched the show?" Joey answered as he grinned from ear to ear.

"Oh my G-d...dude, this is-"

"My first paycheck, I buy you a car. Next one, I buy an engagement ring for Liz," Joey said although it wasn't the first paycheck but it was close enough. It also wasn't quite true about the ring but with Lizzie sitting right next to him, he didn't want to divulge that just yet.

"Joey...I-it's...Sally Dissisa Corvette 2.0," Chandler said, "oh my G-d...thank you, I-can I call you back?"

"Of course."

Joey hung up and looked at Lizzie. He was beaming as Lizzie grabbed his hand.

"He liked it?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah."

"I knew he would."

"I miss him…..I mean, I love this. I love the show I'm on, I love your show….but crap I miss them. Especially him….and I miss Pheebs and-"

"I know. Hey, we're gonna see them for Thanksgiving."

"I know….and I can't wait. I'll see Chandler and Monica and their twins, Rachel, Ross and Emma and Rachel can tell me about her store, we'll see Phoebe and Mike and we can hear about their place in Nashville…..oh, you'll be able to show off your engagement ring," Joey said.

"Wait, what?" Lizzie asked.

Lizzie stared at him and he knew he had her. He had planned so well. Making it all about that Corvette, but the Corvette had not been his only purchase.

"Oh, that's right...I haven't given it to you yet," Joey said, turning towards his nightstand and opening the drawer. He pulled out a box and opened it, revealing a large diamond ring. Lizzie let out a gasp as she covered her mouth.

"Oh my G-d."

"Lizzie…."

"Oh my G-d."

"Okay, I-I never thought I'd get to this point. I wanted to be like Hugh Hefner but….I don't know….something happened, I love you so much that it terrifies me but….I don't….I don't want to be with anyone else, I miss the rest of them so much but being here with you, it makes it worth it…..marry me?"

"Yes," Lizzie managed to squeak out as she began to cry. He slipped the ring on her finger as they shared a kiss. "Oh my G-d. Joey….."

"I hope you trust me now. I hope you know that I will never intentionally hurt you," Joey said.

"I know."

"I have to call Chandler."

"I know. You call him and I'll go tell Lauren," Lizzie said as she kissed him again. She left the room as he dialed Chandler and Monica's number.

"Monica's pregnant," Chandler said as soon as he picked up.

"What?"

"She told me not to say anything yet to anyone but I'm sure she didn't mean you but…..she….she's….pregnant."

"Nice….I'm engaged. I proposed."

"Congrats."

"And-and you're my Best Man, right?" Joey asked.

"Of course. Your bachelor party is gonna be amazing. I may need to rewatch that Tom Hanks movie….Bachelor Party."

"We can hire Kristi to be the stripper."

"No. No….although, you at a strip club is like me alone in a bar, only bad things will happen."

"No strip club for my bachelor party?" Joey asked.

"Oh, hell no," Lizzie said, standing in the doorway with Lauren next to her.

"It was Chandler's idea," Joey said.

"Liar," Chandler said.

"Monica's pregnant," Joey said.

"Congrats, Mon and Chan. Tell Chandler to tell Monica I'll call her tomorrow," Lizzie said.

"Did you hear?" Joey asked. "She'll call Mon tomorrow."

"Okay, congrats man."

"You too."

Joey hung up and smiled at both Lizzie and Lauren as Lauren jumped on the bed and hugged him. He loved hugging her and she looked thrilled. So did Lizzie. He was actually going to be married.

"My parents are getting married. Oh my G-d, we're gonna be like a traditional family," Lauren said.

"I think it's about time," Joey said.

"I'm really happy."

"Maybe we'll even give you some brothers and sisters," Joey said.

"But unlike me, they won't be born out of wedlock," Lauren joked.

"I know, right," Joey laughed. "I love this child."

"Yeah, she's pretty special and besides the stork wouldn't take her back when I asked," Lizzie joked.

Lauren laughed as she hugged Joey again. Lizzie lay down on the bed next to Lauren who kept staring back and forth at each of them.

"So you like it here?" Joey asked.

"I love it here. The weather is nice…..the kids in my class are nice and there's this boy, Adam. He's so cute. Maybe I can take him to the wedding? Or wait...maybe that's too soon. I think he likes me though, he said something about taking me on a date."

"No," Joey said.

"Mom lets me date," Lauren said.

"Lizzie," Joey said.

"No, I don't," Lizzie said.

"Dammit," Lauren said, "well, okay, can I help you plan the wedding?"

"Of course," Lizzie said as she gave Lauren a kiss. Joey did as well. Lauren let out a squeal as they celebrated the fact that the would now be a family. An official family.

When they finally made it back east for Thanksgiving, there was even more cause for celebration. Phoebe, Rachel and Monica were all pregnant and Ross and Rachel were finally engaged as well. So with three pregnancies and two engagements, there seemed to be quite a lot to be thankful for.

"So, I'm gonna have to plan both of your weddings," Monica said, patting both Lizzie and Rachel on the leg as the now group of eight gathered in Monica and Chandler's living room. Erica and Jack were sound asleep in their rooms and little Emma was also fast asleep in Erica's room. Monica was giddy with planning.

"Wouldn't that be weird? You planning my wedding?" Lizzie asked.

"Why would it be weird?" Monica asked.

"I don't know, maybe it's 'cause she's marrying Joey and she's also hooked up with Joey's Best Man and one of Joey's groomsmen," Phoebe said.

"That-that's the reason," Lizzie said, pointing at Phoebe.

"Ewww," Lauren said.

"It'll be fine," Monica said.

"My sister will be my matron of honor, my daughter will be my maid of honor," Lizzie said.

"That's cute," Monica said.

"I thought so. I think that makes up for everything. I'm fourteen, have lived in three different states and until I was twelve, had no clue who my father was but did have his picture over my bed," Lauren said, giving a smirk highlighting her obvious sarcasm. Lizzie laughed as she playfully threw a pillow at Lauren.

"That was an amazing sarcastic comment," Chandler said, "you sure she's not mine?"

"Uh..." Lizzie said, giving Chandler a look and then looking at Monica who simply nodded as if she understood.

"Ross, Lizzie is sitting too far away. Can you smack my husband upside the head?" Monica said.

"Sure," Ross said and did as told. Chandler looked shocked.

"Thank you," Lizzie said.

"I am so buying you gift certificates to Wendy's," Chandler said.

"Can I ask? How many people know this story?" Lizzie asked and everyone raised their hand. "How do you know Mike?"

"Chandler's told me a like a million times," Mike said.

"And can I say that I know it and really wish I didn't," Lauren said. "I mean like I will never be able to eat at Wendy's for the rest of my life."

"Oh my G-d," Lizzie groaned.

"Don't worry, Liz. Now that Rachel and Ross are stable, they need another relationship to mock a little," Joey said.

"Wait, wait...have we become a stable couple," Rachel said looking over at Ross as the two high fived each other. The rest of the group laughed as the evening continued and soon the boys found wandered outside to look at Chandler's new Corvette with the three car seats in the back.

"Unbelievable," Ross said, "it's really like Sally came back to life."

"I figured….it was the least I could do. After everything you've done," Joey said.

"Consider us even," Chandler said. "So I get to plan two bachelor parties."

"Oh, that's gonna be fun," Mike said.

"I know, Mike you wanna be in charge of the booze," Chandler said.

"I think I have to be and I will also buy a lot of Red Bull," Mike said.

"So Ross, am I gonna officiate?" Joey asked.

"I don't know. I mean, it might be weird….you've made out with Rachel," Ross said.

"Dude, both you and Chandler have hooked up with fiancee," Joey said.

"How does it feel saying that word?" Chandler asked.

"Strangely okay. I mean, it's weird. You know, there was a really cute actress on set a couple weeks ago and I wanted to flirt and I wanted to just….well, be me….but I couldn't do it. I couldn't hurt her like that. I just….I like being with her."

"Have you told your family?" Chandler asked.

"My parents and Tony and….Kristi….I haven't talked to Christopher since….well, I since I found out he had Adriana killed," Joey said.

"But I guess you're officially out," Chandler said.

Joey nodded as they retreated back into the house to join the girls. Joey watched as Monica sat with two notepads and Lizzie and Rachel sat by her. He knew without even asking. Monica was planning Lizzie and Rachel weddings. He heard Phoebe laugh whenever Lizzie or Rachel tried to say something and Monica shut them down. This was officially his family now and there was no where else he wanted to be.


	65. Chapter 65

**FINALE**

Ross and Rachel finally had their wedding in June of 2006. Joey did not officiate this one but was a groomsman. Chandler was the Best Man and Mike was also groomsman. Rachel could barely get through the ceremony as the tears kept falling. Ross kept laughing, telling her shouldn't cry just yet but it was pretty amazing, watching them. After being so involved in the Ross and Rachel drama, watching them fight, make up, marry, divorce, have a child... Their vows made everyone laugh as they both seemed to fondly poke fun at their own relationship. The wedding was truly a celebration and another reminder that once again, they were no longer a group of friends, but instead families. Even Lizzie and Joey began to talk about having another child. Lizzie's show was canceled and the conversations soon drifted to not only planning their wedding but the possibility of another child. Lauren was getting older and a few short years would be headed off to college. She had three choices, University of Oklahoma, NYU and USC. So maybe they could have another child, one Joey knew he would be there to raise. Everything just seemed to be falling into place. Even Los Angeles was becoming home and he was beginning to grow used to the warm winter weather and it being hot all the time although he could do without the traffic.

His show, Seasons, was a success. He was amazed by that and amazed there was actually buzz. Golden Globe buzz, Emmy buzz. Buzz and it was buzz he had not even started and by December 2006, that buzz was confirmed. He would never forget that moment. He had wanted to play it cool but that went out the door when he set his alarm for about a quarter to five, made some coffee and sat with Lizzie, Lauren and Jackson, Lizzie and Joey's now three month old son. Jackson didn't particularly care, sleeping soundly in Lizzie's arms and Lauren was drifting in and out of sleep as they watched.

"I can't believe I'm up this early," Lauren groaned. "It's Winter Break."

"We need to do it for your dad," Lizzie said.

"Oh, you mean the dad who was gone for twelve years, that dad?" Lauren grumbled. Joey laughed a little. Lauren was not a morning person, another trait she got from him.

"I'll get you some coffee, sweetheart," Lizzie said, handing Jackson to Joey.

"Yeah, whatever….Jackson even gets to sleep through it," Lauren said as Lizzie walked towards the kitchen.

"You'll go to sleep after. Come on, this is big. This is bigger than a Soapie," Joey said.

"I have to read Bleak House. Six hundred pages of Dickens. I don't care," Lauren said as Lizzie came back with two mugs of coffee and handed one to Lauren.

"Okay, it's starting," Lizzie said as the nominations began pouring in. His nerves were calmed a little by Lizzie and Lauren's commentary throughout the ceremony which began with the movies and Borat being announced as one of the nominees.

"That movie sucked," Lauren said.

"Yeah, how the hell did that happen?" Lizzie asked.

"That movie rocked," Joey said.

"Are you sure you're my real father?" Lauren asked.

"Drink more coffee," Joey shot back.

"Oh, Devil Wears Prada got nominated. Mom, we have to see that again."

"How many times have you two seen that?" Joey asked.

"Like a thousand," Lauren said.

"I think we brought in a lot of money for them," Lizzie said.

"I know, right. I wanna see Devil Wears Prada again. Meryl Streep got a nomination….do you think she'll thank us when she wins?" Lauren asked.

"She should….oh, go Jennifer Hudson," Lizzie said.

"She was so good. Oh, man….Dreamgirls is kicking ass with nominations," Lauren said.

"Okay, guys, television, they're listing my categories," Joey said as he pointed towards the television.

"I hope Lauren Graham gets nominated for Gilmore Girls. She really should. She's so good….and I was named after her," Lauren said.

"No, you weren't," Lizzie said.

"Mom," Lauren said.

"Well, you weren't."

"You're mean...she's so awesome."

"She really is. You know, you and I are like the Gilmore Girls," Lizzie said, placing an arm around Lauren.

"We are, we are," Lauren said, grinning.

"Guys, my category," Joey said as they began to announce the names for Best Actor in a Comedy Series or Musical.

"Alec Baldwin….he's so good," Lizzie said.

"Mom, you should audition for 30 Rock….oh Zach Braff. He's so funny."

"Yeah, but remember his Punk'd episode? I lost respect for him after that. He was so mean to that kid. Steve Carell…yeah, he should totally win," Lizzie said.

"Hey," Joey said.

"You love The Office," Lizzie said.

"I do but I'd rather he lose. Tony Shalhoub…no one watches Monk," Joey yelled.

"Wait, wait…." Lauren said, pointing to the screen when suddenly Joey's face appeared and the announcer stated his name. Joseph Tribbiani nominated for Seasons. This was bigger than a Soapie. This was huge, big and he was in a category with actors he liked although in that moment, he didn't like them all that much. No one watched Monk and Steve Carell had already won for the 2006 Golden Globes. 30 Rock had just started so maybe Alec Baldwin shouldn't win, just because of that and he didn't care about Zach Braff. The award was his, it had to be his.

Immediately, his cell phone began ringing as did his landline. The rest of the day was spent fielding phone calls. Of course, one of the first was to the Bings. Chandler was making plans to fly out in January for the show, the excitement was unreal. He had never quite felt anything so insane. When he had been nominated for a Soapie, there wasn't nearly this much fanfare but this was huge.

"A Golden Globe," Joey repeated hours later when he was on the phone with Kristi.

"I know. So cool."

"Hey, you know, do you have Christopher's number?" Joey asked. He wanted to talk to Christopher, he wanted to rub it in his old friend's face. Christopher's mob movie had come and gone with a whimper. The last time he had seen Christopher was months earlier at the premiere of that mob movie which was clearly about the Sopranos. The memory of watching Tony staring stoically at the screen would forever be engrained in his mind but ever since the premiere, he had heard nothing from his old friend.

"You know….no...you know, come to think about it...I haven't heard from Christopher in a long time. I mean, not that we talk a lot but…."

He wasn't sure what it was and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Something was wrong. Not that he was expecting a congratulations but he did want to rub it in. He wanted to tell Christopher how he had happily gone Hollywood and maybe he could invite Christopher and Chandler to the Golden Globes. Chandler as a thank you and Christopher so he could gloat if he won. As soon as he hung up with Kristi, he found Christopher's number. He dialed and it went straight to voicemail. He tried calling again when the landline rang, he figured it was another person calling to congratulate him.

"Golden Globe nominee at your service," Joey said.

"What the hell is wrong with you, man?" Tony asked.

"A lot….I've gone Hollywood," Joey said.

"Hmm, yeah, congrats kid. Although, tough category. I kinda love that Zach Braff kid. Did you see his episode of Punk'd. The way he laid into that little kid," Tony said.

"Wait, you watched Punk'd?" Joey asked.

"It's a good show. Hey, you gonna be back East?" Tony asked.

"I have to check my schedule but I think I can do a trip. Why?" Joey asked.

"Memorial service."

"Who died?"

"Christopher."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, we were in a car accident. He died."

"What?" Joey asked.

"So can you make it? Probably be this weekend."

Joey tried to find the right words to put to his emotions but he couldn't do that. Putting words to his emotions was never his strongest suit and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel at that moment. He had so many questions. He had been thinking so much about Christopher lately. He had died. There was a car accident? Why wasn't he told?

"Who was in an accident? You and Christopher? When did this happen?" Joey asked.

"A couple days ago. Drug overdose. I was in the car. He was driving. So you coming?"

It was like freezing cold water being dumped on his happy day. Christopher was dead? Why was Tony acting so nonchalant about it? Although maybe he shouldn't have questioned it? Something just seemed so strange about it.

He told Lizzie and when she and Lauren decided to come with him to the funeral, he was a little stunned. He had tried to keep Lizzie and Lauren away from that part of his life, especially after what had happened all those years ago but maybe enough time had passed? At least that's what Lizzie told him.

"It was eighteen years ago," Lizzie said, "I'm okay."

Lauren seemed okay with it too and when he told the other five, they all wanted to join him. Mike and Phoebe would fly in from Nashville with their kids and Monica begged Lizzie and Joey to bring little baby Jackson even though they were both reluctant to, after all, bringing an infant on a plane just seemed cruel but Monica was insistent. There would be a sitter and all the kids would play together at the Geller home while Joey, Lizzie, Lauren, Mike, Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Monica and Chandler would take a train into New Jersey to attend the funeral. The entire time, Joey couldn't shake the feeling there was more to this story. There was something missing. A car accident? An overdose?

Walking into the Soprano home he felt even more ill at ease. Something was strange. After reconnecting with Carmela and his parents, he excused himself from his friends to go look for Tony. He had too many questions. As he neared the study where he knew Tony had done work in the past, he heard voices. He heard Tony talking in a hushed tone to someone. He heard something about a car. He heard something else too, "marks on the neck" and Tony telling the the person to "get rid of the marks on the neck". Joey's heart dropped to his stomach. He wanted to throw up, his knees felt weak as the door suddenly opened and the guy Tony was talking to immediately walked out and Joey stepped into the room. He felt small as Tony stood behind his mahogany desk. Tony's office was maroon tones, muted with oak and looked like it should be the office of a college professor.

"What happened to Christopher?" Joey asked, his voice low and even.

"He died."

"How?"

"Drug overdose."

"What….walk me through what happened? 'Cause I've…."

"It's none of your business."

"Tony….he was driving?"

"Yeah."

"How did he get marks on his neck?" Joey asked.

"He didn't have marks on his neck."

"I just heard-"

"Hey, don't get involved."

"Holy, fuck….you killed him. You killed Christopher?" Joey asked, he hated saying it but his gut was telling him that. His gut was telling him it was not a drug overdose. He wasn't even sure what it was that made him think that.

"You don't know what you're talking about, kid," Tony said.

"Please tell me you didn't kill him, please tell me I'm wrong…..that kid idolized you. He wanted to be you. I wanted to be you but-"

"Oh, like hell you did."

Staring at Tony, he no longer saw his uncle. He no longer saw the man he idolized. He saw a killer. Granted, he always knew Tony was a killer but something about knowing that Christopher had died at Tony's hands shook him. He felt as if he was slowly going outside his own body. Without thinking, he lunged towards Tony, shoving him violently against the bookshelves behind the desk. Tony shoved him back, he fell back and struggled to get up as he threw a punch at Tony and Tony punched back. Punching. Striking. Pushing. Shoving. Books falling to the floor. Loud grunts. He could feel the warmth of blood somewhere and he could see the damage he was doing to Tony. Tony had killed Christopher. He had done something to him, killed him. Christopher was gone. He had always had a love hate relationship with Christopher. His relationship with Christopher was far more complicated than his relationship with the anyone else. He knew secrets, he and Christopher knew where the bodies were buried.

There were wild punches, sounds, noisy sounds as Joey kept lunging at Tony, Tony fighting him back. He felt an anger surging through his body. The Golden Globe nomination didn't matter, his L.A. life didn't matter, his friend had been killed at the hands of Tony and he could not stop it. He thought of Shane. Shane had overdosed. His past was dying. He could feel hands on his body, people pulling him away from Tony. The fog cleared as it was Mike, Ross and Chandler pulling him off Tony. Out of breath, Joey stared at Tony, now bloodied. Tony glared at him.

"Should've blown your Sugar Daddy's brains out when I had the chance, huh, Hollywood?" Tony asked before storming out. Joey tried to move but Mike, Ross and Chandler held him back. As he struggled, it was Lauren standing in the doorway that stopped him. Lauren. He had never wanted her to see this part of him. He looked over and saw Lizzie, Monica, Rachel and Phoebe staring at him his as well.

"Oh my G-d….Lauren…." Joey said.

"It's okay," Lauren said, shaking her head as she walked towards him. Joey took in the room as he calmed himself. It was destroyed, papers and books scattered on the floor.

"No, no….I don't-" Joey said.

"No, it's….it's okay," Lauren said. "I know."

"What happened?" Lizzie asked.

"Um….Lauren, can you go get me ice? Go ask Carmela or your grandparents?" Joey asked.

"Wait, so I'm old enough to watch you beat the shit out of someone but I'm too young to find out why?" Lauren asked.

"Lauren," Joey said.

"Fine," Lauren said, turning and walking out of the room.

"Tony killed Christopher. I don't really know how or all the specifics but he killed Christopher," Joey said.

"Oh my G-d," Lizzie said.

"I'm so sorry," Joey said.

"Sweetie, I know….I know who you are. Lauren knows who you are," Lizzie said.

"Yeah, we all know," Rachel said.

"We can't say anything either. We can't. I can't. He killed Chris and is gonna get away with it. It's just how things go," Joey said.

"What did Tony mean when he said we should have put a bullet in your Sugar Daddy's brain when they had the chance?" Chandler asked.

Joey looked over Chandler. He wished Chandler hadn't heard that. Chandler knew that long running joke that he was Joey's Sugar Daddy. He knew Tony had just revealed the secret.

"Nothing," Joey said.

"No, not nothing. He meant something. The joke was that I was your Sugar Daddy so what did he mean?" Chandler asked.

"Nothing," Joey said, looking over at Ross who was sitting next to him and Rachel who was now staring at the ground.

"Tell me," Chandler said.

"I-I don't want to….I mean, you've been sober and clean for six years now and I-"

"Stop treating me like I'm fucking invalid. Alright, I'm stronger than you think I am," Chandler said, glaring at Joey. Joey looked over at Monica. Chandler was right and there was no way out.

"Okay….alright….remember when you slept with my sister and you didn't remember which sister?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, Mary….Mary-" Chandler began.

"Angela. You still don't remember? Anyway, I know you were wasted and high and….well, Mary Angela was pissed and she um….she ordered a hit...on you. She wanted you dead. I had to go to Tony's office and get it called it off. Christopher was lying in wait for you in the alley behind Central Perk. I got there just in time. You, Monica and Rachel were walking towards the coffee shop and um….Christopher stepped out of the shadows and pointed a gun at the back of your head. You had no clue. I lunged at Christopher and the gun went off and the bullet hit a trash can," Joey said, staring at Chandler, trying to gauge his reaction.

"Oh my G-d," Monica said.

"That's not all," Joey said, figuring he had nothing else to lose, "um….remember when you and I moved Eddie out of our apartment? Remember….you stole a box of pills from his room."

"How do you know?" Chandler asked.

"Did you?" Monica asked.

"Yeah," Chandler said after some pause.

"What? Really? Chandler," Monica said.

"Really? You're gonna be mad at me about that?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, I'll let that one go," Monica said.

"Well, when you steal drugs from a drug addict, they want the drugs back. Eddie was gonna come after you so I paid him off with the rest of my money from the first time I was on Days of Our Lives. I paid him to leave you alone," Joey said.

The revelations were met with silence. Joey kept looking around the room and back at Chandler who seemed to be absorbing everything when suddenly Chandler leaned in and hugged Joey, tightly.

"Thank you," Chandler whispered.

"I love you buddy," Joey whispered back.

"You know, Joe….if it's okay with you….you wanna go back to our house. The kids are all there. We can get you cleaned up and we can celebrate your Golden Globe nomination," Monica said.

"Yeah, I'd like to do that. I don't wanna be here," Lizzie said. "I'm sorry."

"No, no….yeah, let's go to Monica and Chandler's. I don't-I don't wanna be here. This isn't home. I-I-Liz, thanks for coming. I know it's hard."

"I'm here for you," Lizzie said, leaning in to kiss him. It hurt a little but he didn't mind. He wanted her kissing him.

Lauren soon returned and the group silently left the house, headed back to Monica and Chandler's. He got a look at himself in the mirror once there. He was bruised and battered. He was out. He was no longer in that world and he no longer wanted to be. After cleaning up, he walked out of the bathroom to see Lauren holding a beer. He cocked his head to the side and looked at her. The beer was unopened.

"I really hope that's for me," Joey said.

"It is," Lauren said, handing it to him, "Dad….I know…..about today-"

"You know, I-I don't want you to know me like that."

"I know. I don't. I'm really, really glad that you're not part of that world. I was listening to Meadow and Carmela and AJ and also….I was listening to conversations and I am so glad that you're my dad. I mean, I know it didn't start off well. I don't think of you like that. I still am rooting for you for the Golden Globes," Lauren said.

"You're amazing, kid….you know that. Your mom did a great job," Joey said.

"Well, you've made an impact in the last four years and besides, mom says that I got my resilience from you and the fact that I'm not more screwed up is probably attributed to you," Lauren said.

"Nice," Joey said.

Lauren leaned and hugged him. He truly loved this teenager standing before him. He loved how together she was, how she had taken all this drama and seemed to come back from it. He no longer needed that world, with a violent punch he had ended all connection he had. He was a Golden Globe nominee. He had officially gone Hollywood.

They returned to Los Angeles soon after New Year's Eve and Lauren headed back to her second semester of her junior year of high school. His thirty ninth birthday was quiet and with family and nothing else had been said about Tony. He was back to work on Seasons and getting ready for the Golden Globes at the end of the month. Things had fallen back into a routine when a call shook him again. A call he had never expected.

"Tony is dead," Chandler said over the phone. He had been expecting a call from Chandler to discuss when he was planning on coming into L.A. for the Globes. He had been waiting for the call to get Chandler's flight info but what he hadn't expected were those three words.

"No, he's not," Joey said immediately.

"I don't know how much you know about what's going on in New York but apparently there's a New York, New Jersey mob war going on and Tony was out to dinner with his family….and he um...he was shot dead."

"No, Chandler….no joking," Joey said.

"I'm not joking," Chandler said. "I'm so sorry, man."

"What about Carmela and AJ and Meadow?" Joey asked.

"Meadow was parking her car, Carmela and AJ were there but they were unharmed and Tony shot and killed instantly."

"No, he wasn't….he's Tony Soprano. I mean...I just saw him….you saw….he's indestructible," Joey said, he could feel himself choking up and wanting to cry. That daze came over him as he could feel Lizzie taking the phone from him and began talking with Chandler. This could not be happening, this wasn't supposed to happen. Tony was supposed to be there, he was always supposed to be there. He could see Tony in his head, their last interaction. Their last interaction had been negative, he had reacted violently, now he wanted to hug him. Lizzie soon hung up and turned to Joey, wrapping her arms around him as he broke down into sobs. He didn't know what to say, he wasn't sure how to say anything. He didn't know if goodbye even mattered. Tony was flawed, sure. He was a killer but Tony always seemed to have Joey's back. He always seemed to protect Joey, protect him more than anyone else. With Tony there, he knew he had safety, protection for life. Tony had saved him and knowing that Joey could not return the favor tore him up.

"I should have been there," Joey said.

"Joey….you know...it was always a possibility. I mean, you saw that world. It was always a possibility," Lizzie said.

"I never thought it would be with Tony. I loved that guy. I know you hated him…." Joey said.

"Well, I don't think I approved of his career choices. But man, he loved you. He really protected you, didn't he?"

"Yep….and I let him die."

"No, you didn't."

"If it wasn't for him….I'd be in prison. I'd….I'd be dead. He let me go. He knew I knew everything. I mean, I could bring down the entire Soprano family and he knew that but he knew I would never say a word. He…..having that amount of trust from him, knowing he trusted me that much….and the last thing I did was punch him in the face."

"He still knows you loved him," Lizzie said.

"I hope so."

There wasn't a whole lot of time for sadness though. They flew to New Jersey for Tony's funeral and returned for the Golden Globes. He needed to keep his strength up for that though he felt gutted. He wanted to stay home, he wanted to go find Tony but he couldn't do that. He couldn't even bear to delete Tony's name or Christopher's from the contacts in his phone. He wasn't ready to delete them yet.

Sitting in between Lizzie and Chandler, he sat watching the ceremony continue. He smiled as he listened to Lauren and Lizzie whisper to each other throughout the ceremony. Chandler too was whispering as well but he could barely pay attention. His mind was still in that warped fog. He could barely comprehend the categories or the names. Mary Louise Parker from Weeds was announcing his category. He tried to laugh when Lizzie whispered to him that she suddenly had a craving for brownies. They were all trying but his body felt numb. So numb that he didn't hear the nominees and was stunned when Lizzie suddenly threw her arms around him.

"Whoa, congrats man….." Chandler said.

"What?" Joey asked, looking at them, bewildered and around everyone looking at him, applauding.

"Dad, you won," Lauren said.

He looked up at Mary Louise Parker who seemed to be motioning for him to come to the stage. He slowly got up and kissed Lizzie. He made his way to the aisle, his legs feeling like jelly. This was all so surreal. He made his way up the steps. He was a kid from Queens. He was not a perfect kid. He was a kid with mob ties and had been in jail four times. He was not expected to get to this point. He took the award and looked at it. It was his.

"Wow….I…..I shouldn't….I don't...I shouldn't be here...but wow….I-I want to thank my parents and all my sisters….and my fiancee, Lizzie, I love you and my daughter Lauren and son Jackson who is at home….but both of you amaze me. My friends, Chandler who basically funded my acting career for ten years, this is because of you and oh, my other friends, Monica, Rachel, Ross, Phoebe, Mike, Kristi….I…I also...I have a couple friends who I have recently lost. Part of my past and they always kept me grounded….Christopher and Tony, I miss you guys. Thank you for this and oh, the cast and crew of Seasons and Showtime and the Hollywood Foreign Press and I'm sure I'm forgetting someone but wow….thank you."

Joey walked off stage, still staring at his award. He could not believe his life in thirty nine years. He had lived so much. He had seen more than most and the fact that he had survived was almost a miracle. He wasn't sure what his forties would bring and they were dangerously close but he wasn't quite sure he minded. Tony and Christopher were wrong, he would never forget where he came from because without them, he would never be where he currently was.

THE END

Okay, so all six have been completed. I hope you enjoyed this one...I am contemplating doing one big giant one with all six points of view at once or if you have any ideas!


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